Special Paranoid Delusion Edition

I decided to do this one immediately, since the information contained herein is on a timer. Indeed, the predictions of this blog occur not in 2012 (as other paranoid delusions of modern thought do) or in the distant future-- indeed, this one is a mere two weeks away.
What happens on October 14, 2008?
Since I still follow the lunar calendar (solar calendar is for heretics) I know this is one day from a full moon.
But I don't think that has anything to do with this prediction. Indeed, Based off the artwork in the title I'd believe this has more to do with Phantasy Star than it does with THE END TIMES.
The title banner proudly proclaims that it is "the predication that will change humanity forever." That's a bold claim.
So you know how the economy is in the shitter? Many people might say it's oil companies or insurance companies or banks being greedy fuckwits but the point is I think most (sane) people can agree it isn't a secret shadow government that actually secretly controls the entire planet.

Another sign of impending galactic? actions comes from a military
contact who said all military bases were placed on alert, yesterday.
They must be really feeling the heat in the kitchen. A Paulson hologram
was reported as appearing at a meeting this AM. The G7 warned the Box
Gang that they only have until TODAY to pay the country settlement money
owed to their G7 Partners OR "It's All Over!"...meaning these ones will
be 'Toast'!

We always celebrate sea changes! The New Reality is creating quite a
fuzzy logic situation and the whole populace has been feeling it.
Cheers!

Sorry I don't speak your particular vernacular of crazy, would you mind saying that again?

Fellow light workers, this goes to prove that our interstellar family is here, they were right about this and now we will see the changes unfold. The Illuminati will fall and this world will be changed around in the upcoming months as we will witness first contact very soon!

Wow The Illuminati and aliens.

OK, You know how I shy away from questions, but there is this big one regarding time zones in different countries, which then puts OCT 14th on different days, if you know what I mean? Are you able to enlighten me on this at all?

I had a similar question when some wackies claimed Satan was going to eat everyone on 6/6/06. Never mind that this date isn't 666 but 6606, but whatever THIS ISN'T LOGIC WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE. Was he going to kill everyone in Australia first? If so wouldn't that give the fine people of China and Russia time to prepare, then on down to the line?

Dearest Blossom. All that we choose to say to you is to let go of your fears. We WILL do as we say and before the 15th Oct has come to pass in all corners of your globe this event shall have come to fruition for all to glory in. We shall surprise many in how this all comes about. We say this to you people of earth who are in anticipation of the greatest vibration …

Sounds like a cop-out answer to me. UHH UHHH DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT IT'LL GET DONE.

We come to open doors…into the NEW DAWN.

Sounds like the same ramblings I heard in Oblivion. The Mythic Dawn and all their shit. Only they were actually summoning demons and shit so that was actually something to worry about.
So apparently, if I understand this completely, he is typing as both the person asking the questions and the aliens (?) responding to the questions.

Rekindle your ability to bring yourself back to feeling the light that you once occupied. Overcome the unevolved nature of the dark workers and work to believe in something again.

Real motivating there, prophet. BELIEVE IN THINGS.
Well maybe he's on to something. Let me give this a shot. I believe you are full of shit.
Did it work?
Goddamn it sure did.
Also if aliens suddenly showed up after being heralded by people they dumped psychic messages into I think the last thing I'd do is trust them. I've played far, far too many video games where this has happened. Nothing good ever comes of it.
It'd probably end up like Phantasy Star 2 where everyone dies bad end but it may also end up like--
just kidding it'll be the apocalypse.

In this article of UFODigest.com, Stephen Wuttunee writes an excellent article detailing Blossom's prediction as well as other tie-ins such as Dannion Brinkley's prediction confirmation of UFO First Contact in 2008 as well as a shocking truth that many of the political world leaders are taking Blossom's prediction very seriously. Did you know that the Canadian Prime Minister election is on October 14th? Find out more here in this article:

Ooookay. Let's try to analyze this insane rambling.
So there's an article in UFODigest, so right there reliable news source, but it might actually be an article within an article, because article is said twice. I'd expect someone in contact with an interstellar space brain to do a little editing.
Also he mentions the Canadian Prime Minister elections falling on October 14th like that means anything at all. He'd probably be one of those idiots to ask a rhetorical question there, like "COINCIDENCE?" Yes. That's exactly what it is. Shut up.
Now there's an eight part Youtube series. I'll be goddamned if I'm watching even minute one of this.

IT IS TIME TO BEGIN AT THIS NEW BEGINNING WE BRING IN WITH US. WIPE YOUR SLATES CLEAN… ALL WHO RESIDE UPON YOUR GLORIOUS PLANET EARTH.

START AGAIN … THIS IS THE OPPORTUNITY WE ARE PRESENTING YOU.

Uh-oh. Sounds like the exact same logic used in Persona 3 to destroy all life.

IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO LIE TO THE SOUL SELF. IT SIMPLY CANNOT BE DONE.

Soul-self, huh? What is a soul, exactly?

LISTEN INTENTLY TO THE FEELING YOU FEEL.

The feelings I feel. Deep. AHYEAHEAYH WHAT ARE THESE FEELINGS I AM FEELING?

WE ARE LOVE.

YOU ARE LOVE

THERE IS ONLY LOVE.

KNOW OF IT.

BE IT.

Kind of a threat, isn't it?
YOU BETTER HAVE LOVE IN YOUR HEART OR WE'LL PROBE YOU HUMAN FUCKS.
I can't wait until October 14. What'll happen to this website when nothing happens?
UHH UHHH
YOU HUMANS AREN'T READY FOR OUR AWESOME MESSAGE OF PEACE AND LOVE DERP DERP TRY AGAIN IN 1000 YEARS.
Yeah I bet it'll be something like that.
I'd comment further but I'm not sure what to say, really. Half of these words don't even really make sense. I guess if I was into all that new age bullshit this'd be fucking awesome but I'm not, so here we are.
I guess that's it, then. Kind of a fizzle entry but oh well~

It's Go Time

Mondays around this time of year are usually dark prospects, because most schools had testing last week. Since everyone updating a LiveJournal/DeadJournal is invariably in one the entries for Mondays can usually be summarized like this:
I FAILED ALL MY TESTS BECAUSE _____________________!
Where the blank is a series of excuses.
So hold onto your hats, people, because we're about to take a plunge.
I think I found a winner.
This is from an Istra-Chan.
One thing you never do in Japanese is give yourself or anyone you're introducing an honorific title such as that, but this is LiveJournal I'm talking about.
Why don't you do this? Besides being grammatically incorrect, it's uncouth. Two things LiveJournal is very uncomfortable with: being grammatically accurate and being polite.
Let's analyze this sentence. I'm going to pretend this is a test worth ten points, and each grammatical mistake or something that needs clarified is one point off.

I did pull a 9-day week last, so that's kinda understandable tho'. I am really crazy full scheule. Heh. but that's okay. I'm doing okay, actually. I'm really tired, but ... I'm doing okay.

last what? -1
what's understandable? -1
though. -1
"I am really crazy full scheule." Two points off, one for spelling mistake and one for not even being a coherent idea.
5/10. In all schools I know of that's a failing grade. Her entire blog is written like this.
So now that her grammar is out of the way I can continue.
So where is all this going? All this rambling about being too busy and shit can only lead a few places, but I bet you'll never guess where:

It's interesting, 'cause I'm really just gaining victory in the Lord right now. He feels really close to me, and I'm just running to Him for everything. As if I had a choice to do otherwise. XD I *know* I can't handle this stuff on my own.

Holy. Shit. I actually did a double take when I first read this. I had no idea this would wind back around and become an entry about Jesus.
That's one thing that always amazes me about the religious. They can spin literally anything into being about their chosen deity.

There's been so much these past few days that have forced me to remember what he has done for me. He has forgiven me! I mean ... wow. When I think on that ... it doesn't matter that I'm lonely, that I don't know what's going to happen. he FORGAVE me of stuff that shoulda' never been forgiven.

Like? That's the thing about these Christfags. They always say GOD FORGAVE ME FOR SINS NO ONE CAN FORGIVE! But they never really have an example, or it's something that everyone does. So that's one thing I always take away from this. Religion: where you have to feel sorry for being human.
It's probably shit like the original sin, which in terms of marketing is probably the single most brilliant marketing move in the history of the world. The clergy actually has people believing they're guilty of something that happened millenia before they were born, and the only way to cleanse themselves of that sin is to donate to the Church early and donate often.
Also while I'm on the subject of the one true God (grammar): "should have". Is it really that hard? Or shit, if you want a contraction, "should've" it's one more key than you already type "shoulda'" and as far as I'm concerned you have the difficult part down: the apostrophe.
Here's something she drew. I'm rather impressed. She has more talent than I expected.

just traced pics tho', so it's stupid. >_<

Oh. Well, I'm impressed with someone's talent, then.

Bleh. S'funny, my cousin was like, "I wish I could end up feeling like you do at the end of your journals, hopeful and trustting in God and stuff. I never do feel hopeful or very trusting. It's just ... y'know ... the truth. Even though I'm still miserable and feel awful and stressed ... doesn't change the FACTS:

What facts? Your cousin is smart not to trust in an invisible man who, if he does exist, doesn't want to appear like he exists. Also trust, like respect, is something to be earned.

Lessee ... my laptop got a disgusting infection. RANDOM HARD P0RN OCCURANCES! srsly. I closed it, walked downstairs and deposited it with my brother for a washing in bleach and lye soap.

He said something infected the kernel, so >_> he ordered XP off ebay and is going to install the whole system again.^_^

Jesus fucking Christ what did you install?

XD

And stayed up till 1 am! trying to LEVEL! NOW I AM RUNNING ON 5 HOURS 20 MINUTES OF SLEEP! HAAAAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHAH!! You will all fear the manaicle sleep deprivation that IS ISTRA! Dun dun dun ...

Jesus.
What are you leveling?

Thundie, I am now at lvl 49 @ 46% Maybe I'll be stupid again tonight (since I don't have to get up tomorrow) and level to 50. *evil eyes* I want to get to 51, 'cause I have an awesome new staff that is lvl limit 51. :3

Levels go past 50 so that rules out WAR. Uhhh... Could be Final Fantasy XI since that goes to 75, but that seems unlikely because that requires thought to play.
I'd guess World of Warcraft, let's be real.

+ Shakespear rocked.

Shakespeare

+ Bethany is coming with baby Aleric (we hope) and I am thrilled.

Aleric? Seriously? Sounds like something from The Lord of the Rings.
Baby Aleric's new name is Baby... Albert. That's a good name.

I'm lonely.

Considering how annoyed I am by you just reading your blog I can't possibly imagine why.
Next update is one entitled "Thought for the Day" which I know to be fucking radical.

"Good advice is rarely taken."

err...

"Winning the battle doesn't always mean rushing out to fight. Sometimes it means staying your ground."

Wh--

“Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.”

I guess you go to different Thought for the Day archives than the ones I frequent. Here was mine for today:

• Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment.

Which cheered me up immensely. Or if that's not your speed, here's one I'm sure we can both agree kicks ass:

• Damnation is Eternal.

I don't even believe in damnation.

"Lord, don't let me lose this battle. I don't want to be depressed today. I know I have joy in you. But I don't think I'm going to win and be cheerful today."

Going on a crusade against the heathen kings, huh? I hear that Salah ad-Din Yusuf ibn Ayyub is like god tier difficulty. I think the Christian armies call him Saladin. But don't worry you have King Richard on your side, so that's like two titans fighting it out. Good ol' King Dick.

We stayed up too late playing video games. :3 (TWEWY) Then, the next morning he woke up early, and I let him play some more. (So I could sleep. hee hee.)

beltanzipper.jpg

. . .
I shoulda' been a nun.

Cryptic.

One of those kinds that don't believe in technology I hope.
There are nuns like that, right?
For anyone who thought I was overly cynical about the Church stealing your money, behold:

For those of you who don't know, I've really been struggling with finances. My paycheck is small, and will ... disappear over the summer. I've been really worrying about how I'll make it. I've made a commitment to pay my tithe, even though that means $100 less a month.

(For those of you who don't know, 'tithe' is 10%. This was a mandate given to the Isrealites after they left Egypt. So, 10% of my monthly income is $110 ...)

Awesome. Hey, tithe to me. I'm a good charity.

I thought about it, and I said, "Okay, God, I could really use that tithe money, but ... I said I'd tithe, and I'm will. You are going to have to provide for me."

Just now, I found an unmarked envelope with my name on it on my desk. Someone had given me $37!!! They said, "God just laid it on my heart to give you this. It isn't much, but I hope this will be an encouragement for you."

So you donate 110 dollars to God, then he gives you 37 back? Sounds like God is a dipping son of a bitch.
You know I asked the Old Gods, that is, the ones who were there before your upstart God came on scene if they wanted money, but there was no response.
So I have to assume they're good.
One might wonder what an all-powerful, all-knowing being would be doing with money or why he can't seem to keep a simple budget together (37 isn't even half of 110) but then again this isn't my deity we're talking about.

the rosebush reached out and protested. I have honorable war wounds now. They're quite gruesome, actually.

Honorable wounds are only on the front. I'm not saying they aren't, but I'm just telling you.

Other than that.... well, I'm pretty busy. I just finished practicieng the piano.

Whoa, easy there. I'm not sure if I've ever seen someone bungle "practicing" that hard before. That's beyond a typo-- that's a SUPER typo.
So that about covers it. It goes earlier, of course, but I'm tired of writing this so~

fuuuuuuuuuuuuck

College. College has a great deal of classes. Class on nearly every subject imaginable-- and therein lies the problem. For every class with clear (if you take it) use like astrophysics or math or English, there's five UNDERWATER BASKET WEAVING 101 classes. Usually you can spot them in the catalog-- the classes that evoke a mighty "who the fuck takes this?" from me.
Well now I know who.
Of course some classes of dubious usefulness fulfill a requirement you need to graduate, and that's why art history is so popular, when let's face it, all that job qualifies you to do is teach.
So what's this person's (woman I assume) schedule?

• Women & Health
• Women's Studies Methodologoes
• Into to Public Policy
• Women & Politics
• Queer Theory

Holy shit. Women and Health I would think would be important but given the context of her whole schedule I'm guessing it's nonsense.
I had a class that combined all of these things into one semester that I can only describe as a wide-awake nightmare.
That class was called Literary Theory.
If anyone wants to kill me instantly, mention that class. It's basically instant stroke out for me.
So what goes on in, say, Queer Theory, exactly? I'll tell you.
Some pretentious asshole decides gay people aren't being treated properly. Whether this is the case or not isn't what's important. Whereas logical people might say "well let's do a study to see if this warrants writing about in the first place" critical theorists write about... Things. That's the only way I can describe it, because unless you've read this shit you have no clue what it's actually like.
Half the time they seemingly aren't talking about anything at all.
Here I have a perfect example:

Thus it has always been thought that the center, which is by definition unique, constituted that very thing within a structure which governs the structure, while escaping structurality. This is why classical thought concerning structure could say that the center is, paradoxically, within the structure and outside it. The center is at the center of the totality, and yet, since the center does not belong to the totality (is not part of the totality), the totality has its center elsewhere. The center is not the center.

I'm not making that up. Of course that isn't queer theory (that's called deconstructionism. What that means I have no fucking clue and I passed that class with an A). But trust me, her entire schedule revolves around shit like this.
Reading shit like this evokes a primitive instinct from me that forces me to be argumentative even if I agree with the principle they're trying laboriously to reach. ANYONE THIS DOUCHEY CANNOT BE CORRECT, RIGHT?

I felt claustrophobic for the first time in my life today. I was sitting in my room with the door closed reading about public policy and the strangest feeling came over me.
I don't know if it was my room, my life or even this province that gave me the feeling, but it was unnerving.

That's because you were reading public policy. What is that, exactly?
So what kind of bore takes classes like public policy?
Someone who also gets their self worth from quotes like this:

The subtext of many reviews is a smirky disdain for anything with its roots in old-fashioned theater, an unspoken belief that musicals and even plays are quaint relics of another era beloved only of octogenarians, nostalgists and the irredeemably unhip.

Octogenarian? By the way, the context of this entire post is that she's proud she attends the theater, which big fucking deal. If it's something you enjoy you shouldn't care what other people think about it, one way or another.

I have these days where it feels like my heart is going to explode - in a good way.

I've been wracking my brain for a near five minutes over this sentence. In what way can one construe an exploding heart as good? Then it finally hit me: it'd happen to her, she'd die, and this blog would cease to be. Bad for her to be sure, but the world ends up a better place.

Where I am so filled with want and hope my stomach flip-flops constantly.

Sounds like a dangerous parasite.

I feel like my soul, or whatever I am, can't be contained in my skin anymore. I guess my heart is soaring.

Jesus Christ this sounds like a serious schizotypal episode.

I bought a new keyboard (with money that I can't afford - thanks visa - to be spending because I am not working enough hours and am making minimum wage. I may not have enough money for tuition. UGH.) and of course, it doesn't work. It might work if I could download the software needed that was with the keyboard, but as my keyboard doesn't work - I can't get into my (administrator) account because I need to type in my password.

Ho ho ho ho quite the conundrum. What kind of crazy ass trendyfag keyboard did you buy? Every keyboard I've had I just plug in and it works.

A list of my most favourite songs ever, that I've collected over the years.

Baba O'Riley - The Who
Pretty Good Year - Tori Amos
Send in the Clowns - Stephen Sondheim
Back to You - Bryan Adams
Your Next Bold Move - Ani DiFranco
Being Alive - Stephen Sondheim

Ha ha what shitty taste in music you have. Tori Amos? Ani DiFranco?
Who is Stephen Sondheim? I don't even want to know, actually. Every time I look this shit up I'm always mortified.

The people I work with are nice, but I get a really boring vibe from them, I feel no charm from them.

Yeah no one can be as cosmopolitan as you, you ATTEND THE THEATER, AFTER ALL! Also you list feminism as one of your great loves in the world-- how enlightened!
This is one of those entries I have trouble writing because the douche vibe I get from this is hard to describe. I can't quite put into words what's wrong with her, but I feel it on the surface of my skin like it might feel when I have the flu or when I fall into an open sewer.
Not that there are open sewers around here, or anything. Just, you know, how I imagine falling into an open sewer might be.
Now she asks the question religious texts have tried to answer since the dawn of time:

What should cheese go on, and what should cheese NOT go on?

Well something like 9/10 religions agree (and that's fucking unprecedented) cheese does NOT go on meat. I think there might be something to that. If primitive barbarians who didn't even have enough sense to wash the feces they're smeared with off had enough sense to say "hey wait I don't think that chicken and cheese casadia is a good idea" then I think we better fucking well listen.
Her answer was:

On: everything. Not on: NOTHING.

Not on nothing, huh? Classy enough to go to the theater and generally be a pretentious cunt but not classy enough to avoid double negatives.

a list of things i love right now:

used bookstores
gingerbread
overcast days
the sky
tab energy drink
the sound of a piano


what are yours?

Overcast days?
The sky? Seriously, who lists that as a like? I LIKE THE SKY DUR HUR DEEP.
Idiot.

I loathe my job. It makes me a cranky mess of a person that I don't want to be. That I shouldn't be.
(ps, old creepy guys - my name is not honey, love or sweetie. thanks)

All right I won't call you honey, love or sweetie. Is pretentious twatmouth okay with you?
Also this is kind of funny in context because this post was made May 25, 2008, the on May 31 (a mere six days later) she has this to say:

The saddest part of leaving my little pink summer home was leaving the awesome co-workers and leaving the free ice cream.

Funny a job you just spent a rather lengthy post complaining about is now described as your "pink summer home". Also she says "saddest" implying an entire list of reasons to be sad. I guess the rose-tinted glasses of nostalgia have already set on yonder face, eh?

I'm back from New York and it was everything I expected. I'm madly in love with the city. I so very much belong there.

Something about the phrasing of "I so very much belong there" really grinds my shit. What are you, in a Victorian novel? MOTHER, I SO VERY MUCH BELONG IN LONDON.

I know tomorrow, on my day off, I will be a mess thinking about how misplaced I am here.

What is this even called? I'm not sure what to call her now. Is this... What is this? Obviously she thinks she's really special and only cool people (like her) go to the cities. Cities are filthy and noisy and crowded and filled with smelly, dumb ugly people.
So I guess you do belong there ha ha ha shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

It also stuck me that this is the basic strife felt by pre-op transgender individuals.

Huuuuuuuuuuuuh? That came as a surprise, honestly.
I guess that would explain all the feminism classes-- since "she" wasn't born with the natural hardware she has to learn all of it from books ha ha ha ha ha.
See what I did there I put "she" in quotes.

Feeling trapped in the wrong body, wanting a transformation to another life...

Oh don't be such a girl about it! Man up and face reality! har har har

I just want to say that I love non-homophobic people.

I'm sure you'd be calling me a homophobe right now but I really just hate the disingenuous, which you are with all your assumed airs and pretentiousness (and I'm not talking about being a tranny).

It encompasses all my disciplines (women's studies being my major and political studies and english being my minors) and theatre makes me so unbelievably happy.

Ho ho ho ho-- okay enough of that. Rereading my entry it is kind of funny I call her a "cunt" so many times when, in fact, that's exactly what she lacks.

I've had severe writers block since September. I've lost all ability to write papers... or anything for that matter.

That must be awful.
Caring that much, that is. I know whenever I get an assignment I do it either right when I get it to avoid worrying about it or the night before if I forget all together and I rarely walk away with less than an A. I attribute it to natural talent and the "don't really give a shit" factor.
I think that's your problem, sir. You care too much. I think you'd feel a lot better if you stopped giving three fucks about four fucks.
If I were you I'd stop worrying so much about being a feminist playwright (sounds doomed to failure in the first place) and just be content with meandering through life. Then maybe you can get a cool blog that makes fun of... Err... Yourself, I guess.
Yes sir, that's just what you need.

I recently started watching Six Feet Under and I have to say: It is one of, if not THE, best shows I have ever seen. (and trust me, I've seen a lot of television, haha.)

You have not seen Dexter, then, sir.

My new black dress and platform sandals - Aw yeah, I'm super hot.

I want to see a picture of you more than I want to see your deviant art account (no doubt filled with furry art).
Unfortunately no such luck. Although... Hmm. Rather unique username. I bet I could do some internet sleuthing.
Nope, didn't work.
Oh well.
I did find one rather manly looking lass that I thought might be she, but it turned out to be some woman on Broadway. Oops.
So I guess that's it then.

Fuck me

I hated my last post. I don't know what I was thinking. Apparently I thought I wasn't obligated to be funny which is kind of the fucking point.
Well whatever I had a nice salt water douche so I'm back now.
THIS IS THE MOST INFURIATING BLOG EVER.
Look at this shit.
Look at this shit.
Where is the "recent entries" button? I seriously can't find it. I've clicked on every fucking button on this website and it is nowhere.

So whatever I'll just keep clicking back. If this is her only entry I guess I'm fucked.
Rain! Rain is ahead in the forecast! It's supposed to rain for like 2-3 days! Kay so that would depress most but not me, it actually makes me really happy :).

I... What?

So fun fact, when I was leaving Biology/computer lab today I was in such an upbeat mood that I literally walked outside singing. Yeah that's a new one for me XD.

Usually when you say "fact" it's qualified with something like "did you know there are bees the size of your thumb and they spit flesh-melting acid into your eyes?" I'm not making that up, by the way. Japanese bees. My friend linked me to an article about them.
So I promise not to be too hard on this person because she (has to be a girl) has Phantasy Star Online art as her banner, so she can't be too bad.
Actually-- no that makes no sense at all. She has been exposed to PURE AWESOME so there is no excuse for this.

Ok so it was singing in japanese and barely anyone around (thank god) but still!

why would you do this?

ajksjdkjgkjgj I feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside jeez n.n. And it ish bc he makes me feel like that t.t. I had forgotten what this felt like, lol ^^. It is a nice feeling ♥ I'M RAMBLING.

Holy. Shit. Is that a goddamn heart? How do you have a heart in your font?

Loool so this has been my day: woke up at 9, went to social psych. Spent half of social psych eating breakfast (which I normally never eat, but I feel sick t_t).

Jesus Christ all mighty why are you eating in class? I know people who do this. They sit there eating goddamn pizza in the middle of biology while I'm trying to hear about how badass the sun is and how it's going to ruin all of our shit in five billion years or when it feels like it (whichever happens first). But no all I hear is CHOMP CHOMP SMACK chew with your mouth closed you pig.

Zoned out during much of social psych bc I realize it 75%-99% what he assigns in reading x.x.

I promise I won't make a big deal about this, but you don't need a smiley face every sentence.

I went to stats in which I studied for memory for 15 mins, then fell asleep. (HEY THE GIRL NEXT TO ME FELL ASLEEP TOO T___T). Then I went to recitation for stats, in which I colored and did icons for Soul Nomad (one of which I'm sporting now =p). So I paid no attention,

Glad your parents (or you, or the state, whatever) is paying for all that education. Seems to be working.

also got my first quiz back from quantative, 100 w00 =p. (point in case right there).

The phrase is "case and point" you illiterate.

Then I decided I was bored in recitation so I just got up and left, and called Anthony XD.

So you ate during your first class, fell asleep during your second and got up and left in the middle of your third? I bet your teachers fucking hate you.

Life is great, life is great!!!!!!!!!

Augh, like seriously! o_o.

Again with the smileys. Also one punctuation mark please.

3: LOL ALPACAS. (google it, if you don't know what they are)

I do. You're still a cunt.

I have a lot of scattered thoughts, so this is gonna be a weird list type entry, so bear with me.

OH, NOT AT ALL LIKE YOUR NORMAL ENTRIES WHICH ARE SOOOO COHERENT.

And none of them are easy, except Japanese I, which I think I could pass in my sleep. Can we all say: あ、い、う、え、お correctly? YES WE CAN! :).

Yeah you're really cool.

...Lol, I'm awful. But I truely feel like...I'm mature for my age or something.

HA HA HA REALLY? SERIOUSLY? You're-- you're joking, right?

I know Joaquin feels similar, because he relates more to adults. *shrugs*. It's just how I am :P.

Err--

There's this black kid on my floor who said he studies japanese though, so hmm perhaps he's interesting.

Why'd you have to point out he's black? What, a black kid can't be interested in a foreign culture?
Real mature, racist.
No I'm just breaking your balls. I'm sure you'd do that for any silly non-white, right Hitler?

Did I tell everyone I'm shooting for higher than a 3.5 this year, which is higher than I got last sem?

ha ha ha my GPA is higher study harder before you gloat.

Well, congratulate me guys!!!

I got to level 70 in World of Warcraft!

Congrats on being handed level 70. That may have meant something before they raised the experience you get per quest and lowered the amount you need to level by 30%.
Not to take the piss out of your "achievement" but I wouldn't be impressed if you had 15 level 70s prior to the patch-- WoW is piss easy. Come back when you've been through the second job that is Final Fantasy XI.

Okay so Japanese partially counts bc I took 4 years of jp alreadly, heh.

Too bad you didn't take any English, though.

I've ALWAYS liked villains/ non heroic characters. When I was little, I LOVED the Nightmare before Christmas o.o. And it's not exactly a normal story either.

WOW HOW WACKY YOU SURE ARE UNIQUE AND SPECIAL.
I mean goddamn I've never heard of someone liking Nightmare Before Christmas before. Seriously, Nightmare Before Christmas?
Goddamn what a unique soul I have found.
All right that's it no more. It does go on (obviously) but the rest is so profoundly stupid I think I'm actually a water head after reading it.

Well At Least You Know It

Kind of wished I saved yesterday's awesome entry for today, because this makes too many updates in a row. They're starting to run together.
Today's update is again typical whiny emo cunt whining about stuff and... Shit.
Click here or don't. I couldn't give three fucks about four fucks.

It's really not enjoyable to spend the last small hours of your actual birthday day crying. To wake up on my first day being 26 sad.

Oh boo hoo. You're 26. What's special about 26? Nothing. Go to work.

Most of you will have no idea what I'm talking about, so I'm sorry, but I needed to rant somewhere.

Nope, so I'm skipping this entire post. At least you put "emo" as one of your tags. Good you know it, at least.

Last night my awesome friends took me to pizza and a strip club. There were ugly strippers, really cute indie chicks, amusingly horrible dancers, beers, kisses and cuddles, and many jokes. And much much more, but I am too hungover to think right now.

Yeah you're the cool chick the guys can take to a strip club. I'm really impressed.

Post good hangover cures and birthday wishes at your leisure.

A raw egg yolk, hot sauce, Worcestershire sauce and salt I think it is. What's the matter, too pussy to take the manliest hangover cure ever?
Now there's a thread about gaming. She recommends a flash game. Thanks I'll be sure to look into it.

So I never really understood the concept of cybersex. Or phone sex for that matter. Either way it just seemed kind of pointless to me.

Apparently, though, Skype makes both of these concepts completely awesome. And that's all I'll say about that.

Don't post if you're going to make a point of being as cryptic as possible.

Please to enjoy some of my favorite songs as of late. Recommend some of your favorites!

Maia Hirasawa - Gothenburg. This lady is pretty and kind of reminds me of Regina Spektor.

Who? I have to listen to this.
Good Christ that's terrible. Develop some taste would you please? Also I'd recommend you some of my favorites but I'm sure you're diametrically opposed to good music so fuck off.

I just got dumped.

Good.

It's the nicest, kindest breakup I could ask for, but it's still a breakup and it still hurts so much I can't believe it. My whole body hurts.

Ugh. I'm waiting for the post where you describe in detail your periods. You seem like the type. I know it's coming.
I'd like to point out that this particular post has 36 comments.
THIRTY SIX. MY BLOG STRUGGLES TO GET TWO. THERE IS NO JUSTICE IN THE WORLD.

The Wii Fit is a jerk, and made me feel bad for not exercising on Thursday.

Play a real game.

So last night I was experiencing soreness all over and terrible joint pain in my hands. I went to bed in pain and figured I'd get it checked out at the doctor's next week. However, this morning I woke up completely covered in hives, or something like them. It looked like giant mosquitoes had bitten me all over, leaving behind blotchy, swollen and red spots everywhere that were itchy and painful.

Sounds like hives, looks like hives... IT MUST BE HIVES. Or Lupus.

He comes back and tells me the urine test says I'm pregnant.

Ho ho ho my mistake.

It turns out that the top three possibilities right now are Arthritis, Lyme disease, and Lupus.

I fucking called it. I hope it's Lupus, personally. A good autoimmune disease will set you straight.

After all my bad experience with religion, I've had a hard time believing in some being greater than ourselves out there watching over us. But I can't help but feel that someone send me that dream, or whatever it was, as a comfort.

Oh brother.

I read a short children's story once where Dog Heaven was a place where dogs could play and spend time with each other, and have everything they needed. They did this outside of a gate where humans lived with their pets, and waited patiently for the day that their particular human died and came to live with them.

Kind of morbid, don't you think? Dogs just sitting at a gate waiting for their former owners to die?
Next she posts a rather heartfelt (at least on the surface) post about how she misses her dead cat.
It's a sweet sentiment I suppose. The problem is she has said she misses whatever it is "so much it hurts" so many times it's basically rendered meaningless.
A cynic might say you fake your pain for attention, at least to a point.

Okay, people! I need some assistance. Tomorrow I'm getting my hair cut, and I want some help choosing which cut to get. I have two choices that I like, and both are ripped off from celebrities. Option 1 is ripped off of Victoria Beckham. Option 2 is ripped off of Charlize Theron (or however you spell her name) from Aeon Flux (terrible movie).

Ugh. I don't know... Victoria Beckham during the Spice Girls or modern one? Either way make your own goddamn decisions what am I your stylist?

This is Albus! I picked him out. He is one of the sweetest cats I've ever met. He's four months old, and the second you touch him, he starts purring. Right now he is sleeping behind me, with his little scholarly face and his adorable white belly showing.

Ho ho ho I know how this ends.

So last week I asked for today off so that I could go to several doctor's appointments. I made two in the morning, and when Angus got home we headed to the local women's clinic to get me some yummy birth control pills.

Gross. "Yummy birth control pills". For some reason that gave me serious douche shivers. I say "for some reason" because really anything could have prompted it about this fucking thing.

and three-quarter sleeve blazers (which are useless to me as I have to wear long sleeves to cover up my tattoos).

It is tough working in a professional environment where they might not view your tattoos with the same "I'm carefree and creative" attitude you do, huh? I'd say you should be more farsighted, but by now I've learned that's like stemming the tides.

I'm feeling a bit like a grumpy and/or boring old lady as of late. Here's the thing: I got a couple of good years in (depending on your definition of "good", I suppose) of all kinds of wild and crazy partying. I experimented with drugs, I got ridiculously wasted at parties, I got naked randomly...well, you get the idea.

Was that a hint of modesty at the end? I guess I've seen it all, now.

What I wouldn't give for a nice evening with several beers for all and some gaming or movie-watching.

Well you are dating a 19 year old. Someone seven years your junior. It makes sense that his goals would be radically different than your own.
I'd say "date someone your own age" but I'm positive people make the age gap work all the time.
So I don't know. I guess date someone more your speed?
What's this? A book collection?
Holy shit thank you internet.
Oh it's temporarily down-- too bad. I'll have to check back in a few minutes.

I hate Eli Roth (director of the "Hostel" movies) and all his friends who are sending the horror genre into a skydive of suck. I hate the "torture porn" genre. I hate these movies that replace any psychological depth, plot, subtlety, and hard work with the next most creative and gory way to murder, disfigure, or degrade someone.

You're looking for a decent plot from a horror movie?

One critic wrote that Hostel II and it's cohorts "desensitize us to our humanity", and I agree. I said on SG earlier that if Roth offered me a large sum of money to be in one of his sexist, gory, pointless films, I would pass.

Well you're even dumber than I gave you credit for, then. NO THANKS I DON'T WANT THAT HUGE CHECK, MR. ROTH. Why not? To save all that dignity? Fuck you can buy that back.
Also apparently this book thing is down so no making fun of her shitty taste anymore.
Oh well. I guess they took the site down so they wouldn't have to face my fists of fury.

SUNDAY UPDATE TOO?

Why not. Today is typical self-centered cunt posting about typical nonsense no one cares about.
Read this with your eyes.

grampa died around 8oclock this morning. well. saturday morning. because now it's 4am on sunday morning ... so i've been up for..... 20 hours. with three hours of sleep before that.
i'm dealing with this okay, only for the simple fact that he made the decision for himself to stop going to dialysis. at first i thought it was selfish on his part..

Ha, ha what? He made a decision not to go through a painful process that would likely only extend his life a couple of months (not to mention all his bought months would be in supreme discomfort) and somehow he's selfish? No, stupid, you're selfish for wanting him to bend to your will because it'd make you more comfortable.

but then i realized that was selfish on my part. i just wanted him here because that's what was easiest for me.. that's what would've made me the happiest.

Well you aren't all stupid.

for as stressed as i am about failing that psychology test tomorrow, i'm really calm and relaxed. thank god for yoga.. that's all i have to say.

So... So instead of studying for your psychology test you went to yoga to allay your fears of failing? Awesome.

I can't take this anymore.
I fucking hate myself. I really don't know what else to say. Marissa, Paul and Waltos are all going to the woodlands tonight which is a dance club where all the skinny girls get the guys as usual. I'm not going there to embarrass myself and get made fun of.
Marissa says I need to get over myself, get some confidence.. etc. I wish I could. I really do. But I KNOW that if I throw myself out there, and get rejected, whatever tiny bit of self confidence I DO have, will be shattered instantly. To that, Marissa says ''just be like me, I've been rejected, do what I do... I don't care about anything" .... Yeah. right. I wish.
I hate myself.
I really really do.

I thought yoga made you "really" calm? Apparently only about things you should have been doing instead of side nonsense you don't really need to be doing in the first place. How about channeling some of that self doubt into studying for your fucking psychology test?

I need to be skinny. then maybe guys will pay attention to me. I'm real low on the self-esteem thing tonight.

All guys love needy, clingy psychological messes.

i'm let down and kinda jealous. i just want to be noticed and i want someone to realize that i actually am a pretty awesome girl despite being fat fat fat.

I don't know. From what I've seen and heard of you, you possess no redeeming qualities.

after i had sex with luke in may (may 14) i got my period may 19-22.. june 12-16.. july 8-12 ... july 30 - august 1st and then august 23-26. but in august i know both of them were just little spotty things. in may june and july though it was full force disgusting blood. i don't know what to do. i'm scared. but i can't be el prego, i have no other signs. i don't pee extra, i don't have body aches/head aches/ morning sickness.

So you've had three periods with no other signs of pregnancy and you're concerned you're pregnant? If you are, it'd be one for the medical books.
Also you might want to look into a condom next time. Whatever the (menial) price is it'd be worth it to not worry for three months. Shit let's go crazy and say they're five entire dollars. You worried through the months of May, June, July and August (four months, my mistake). That's 123 days. So assuming that rubber bought you a worry-free day, that's 24 cents a month. .79 cents a day. Of course in reality the cost is so little breaking it down into such terms would be relatively meaningless, so my point stands doubly.

ugh, i'm going to go read psychology.

Finally. Maybe if you did that instead of having unprotected sex with Luke and worrying about pregnancy you wouldn't be failing psychology. It's probably psychology 101 too, which is fucking easy mode. If you fail psychology 101, quit college.

he is the weakest strong person that i've ever met in my entire life. and i can't just sit here and let him get hurt again.

Weakest strong person. What the fuck does that mean? Is it like comparing a Champion of Khorne to a regular space marine? Sure a space marine is a fucking strength 4 monster but compared to a strength 4 (5 maybe goddamn I don't know Chaos that well) monster with potentially 18 power weapon attacks suddenly your regular space marine is looking like a little girl?

i am so fucking protective of him. i know how bad he hurts when he does, even though he'll never EVER admit it. he doesn't have to say it. i just know.

Goddamn I hate people like you, treating friends like brothers and sisters. You are not their keeper, and acting like it comes off as condescending.
That's the fucked up thing, too. You could come off totally fucking awesome if you weren't such a... Such a... TITTY MONSTER.
You've experienced first hand how fucking dumb guys are when it comes to girls. You should warn them and then when they don't heed your warnings you could come off like Athena does from the Odyssey. Which if you don't know go read it goddamn I'm not here to teach you.
Or maybe you'd be like Circe. Definitely not Penelope, at any rate.
Not that there's anything wrong with Penelope, she just isn't a goddess or a sorceress and therefore anything she does can't be as cool.
This is getting a bit tangential, isn't it?

I really don't understand why I let people treat me like shit time and time again. Why do I throw myself, heart and soul, into situations where I KNOW the feelings won't be reciprocated?

Somehow the term "titty monster" feels appropriate again.

I'm the person everyone can come to with whatever is bothering them whenever it so happens to be. But where do I go when I need someone to talk to?

Ah, this old paradigm. I think there's a name for this (I learned it in psychology. Maybe you should be reading for that test?) what was it...
Ah fuck it. At any rate, you've set yourself up as the victim here. You think yourself so wise and learned and no one can possibly relate to you. It's a lonely existence for you, but you bear it because THE WORLD COULDN'T EXIST WITHOUT YOUR GIFTS.

But I find myself asking "Why am I trying to make everyone else happy?"
The answer to that is: "Because it's all I've ever known"

Wow you're annoying. Most people aren't looking for you to fix their life, because by their own admission (most likely) there's nothing to fix. Indeed, I've read the accounts of your friends and I see similar parallels to people I've known. What did I do? I assured them that if they needed someone to talk to I'd listen (operative word there, listen. I suggest trying it sometime) and when that time came (and it always did) I listened. When they finished, if they asked for my opinion (hasn't happened, least that I can recall) I offered it. If it wasn't asked, it wasn't offered. Usually simply by sharing this they felt better and got a direction on their problems. Usually when they're willing to admit any of this to me it's on the path towards correction in the first place.
So in that way I helped them without coming of as a... A... TITTY MONSTER like you do.
That's it. Also I figured out why almost all my posts are major too long, didn't read (besides the obvious I like to hear myself talk): I have to not only copy other peoples' too long, didn't read post, but then add my own, so that makes double too long.

Special Saturday Update

Special update on Saturday because I have a 5x death penalty because people are fucking idiots and don't understand the concept of healing and Lilith "I have 10 million HP" Asperax or whatever the fuck takes 15 minutes to kill, so it's like a huge battle of attrition that we're going to lose every single time because HEALERS NEED TO HEAL MORE.
So here we go special Saturday update.

I started a Facebook profile (Jocelyn Perea), but it basically just points people here, since I don't really have time to maintain more than one online presence, and this one is already well established. So since y'all are already here, the Facebook probably won't mean much. ;p

English has functioned perfectly well for one and a half millennia without a second person plural pronoun. Suddenly you Southerners decide that isn't good enough and single-handedly invent the dumbest fuck word I've ever heard since "synergy".

My surgery is this Thursday, and she'll be here during my recovery to look after the boys. I'm kinda looking forward to a "break from motherhood", the last six months I've constantly had at least Ryan, usually both boys, with me, often while trying to keep my business running, and it's running me ragged.

So desperate to get away from raising your own progeny that you'd rather have surgery than raise them?
Awesome.
Then there's a really long post about what shit was like in 1908 and CAN YOU ONLY IMAGINE HOW AWESOME WE'LL BE IN ANOTHER 100 YEARS? Which I guess is a fun post, but it's an unrealistic expectation. Technology will (and already has) slowed down, so I'd be willing to gamble the differences between 1908 and 2008 will be greater than 2008 and 2108.

Or a little over 10 years ago, I remember thinking it was so amazing when my family got a PC in 1995. We has our own computer, in our house!

And those were good times. I remember getting the Wishbone Adventure game of the Odyssey.
Shit was, as they say, so cash.

So, my surgery is scheduled for Thursday, September 25. I'm a little nervous about it, not sure why.

I know I'm always a little discomforted knowing the root of the word "surgery". It's from the Greek Cheirourgos, meaning "doing by hand". Not "healing sick people" or "fixing the broken", "doing by hand" like you're some kind of cross stitch. Keep that in mind. Incidentally in the dark ages they were called "chirurgeons" which I think sounds a lot better than surgeon.
I'd really like to know what kind of surgery she's having, though. Something cosmetic? Major?

*EDIT* I almost forgot the other major thing going on with me. I have to have gall bladder surgery in the not too distant future.

Ah. I think that typically shortens your lifespan by a good 5-10 years. The gall bladder isn't useless, though you can live perfectly (albeit shorter) happily without it.
Then one of those HIT SHUFFLE ON YOUR iPOD AND ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS BASED ON WHAT'S PLAYING.
Goddamn I hate those.
So she failed her bookkeeping test (they test people on everything, don't they?) and she blamed her failure on, get this, the fact that she's already a bookkeeper.
This means one of two things. Either she's the worst bookkeeper ever, or as I always suspected, tests mean dick.

My little piglet (he was born in the year of the Boar).

Boars are wild pigs, yes that's true.
Now there's a long article about the ACTE law which lets the government seize any digital device to examine for... Whatever it is they're looking for. Child porn? A Microsoft document cleverly titled "DEATH TO THE INFIDEL AMERICANS!"? Who knows. Who cares. Then she goes on and on about limiting the personal information you have on your computer and shit.
Look anything important that I don't want anyone else knowing I do the old fashioned spy way. I memorize it then destroy anything pertaining to it. I'm sure the government isn't overly concerned about your iPod playlist or your fucking blog that contains mostly cat pictures anyway.

Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she stood there until the manager came over to help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and almost cried. Why do I tell you this? Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s

You updated later saying you just had your 30th birthday, which by my calculations means you were born in 1978. What do you know about education in the 50s, again, exactly?
All right I'm done because then she starts repeating herself over and over with boring work shit no one cares about.
Hopefully WAR straightened itself out by now.

Maybe It's Just Me

I must be crazy awesome compared to everyone who has a blog, which is a scary thought because my evenings are now filled with playing Warhammer Online.
Are peoples' lives that bereft of content that they have to relive what has just happened to them not six hours ago to fill the void? It's like one of those local TV stations that can't net its own commercials so it just shows the affiliate commercials twice.
Maybe it's because I'm too busy talking to girls and not acting like a complete twatmouth but I could never imagine doing this.
Lisa's Journal.

im so tired. and moody. i hate having my period. there's so much shit gonig on at work... cliques and all that. and for once im on the outside looking in... and im so happy about it.

Sounds like a weak excuse to me. I can't imagine anything more interesting than gossip. To gossip successfully you have to be on the inside. That's why I always look for the cattiest bitches in class and sit right there. By the end of the class I know everything about everyone and I haven't even met these people.
I should write a book. "How To Know Everything About Everyone."

its a wall between keri and delilah, and stephanie and ashanti. and then theres me leanne and ed, totally out of any circle of any kind. and it really is the best to be that way. I'd rather not be involved in a who-said-what drama filled work week. but nobody said i cant have my own opinions on it!! :)

Keri with an I, Ashanti... Well that's actually spelled right. So let me see if I understand this. You don't want to be on the inside but you still want to have an opinion?
Quite frankly I think you're lying. Why would you care enough to have an opinion but not enough to want to be on the inside?

i think what stephanie is doing is retarded. she's bringing up to keri all the time " why dont you talk to me like you do to delila and lisa?" first of all that puts me right in the middle of all that, when i dont want to be, and secondly, why is she bringing outside stuff here. how they "used to be such good friends, yadda yadda"...

She's a rabble-rouser. She's trying to get everyone angry at each other to enjoy the angry screaming matches of her labor. You're doing your part by buying into it. This is why you aren't supervising and Stephanie is.

shes got no clue. this girl ashanti is the dumbest mess of a person ive ever met. she reminds me of meagan with her judging and phony ways.

I don't even think I need to point out the hypocrisy here.

i have tried to have an intelligent conversation with this girl and its like talking to a brick.

Well Lisa, (mind if I call you Lisa?) somehow I doubt you're capable of having an intelligent conversation, Lisa "punctuation and capitalization is for nerds".

ok so, i had a big mishap. i happened to be over the limit on one of my credit cards. and not just one ofr like 200 bucks, it was the big one. 2500. so of course i called wamu, then they tell me instead of a 16% interest rate, its going to be 28.9%... what the fuck. so of course i start crying bc thats almost double, meaning i would have to PAY double every month.

Yeah credit card companies tend to frown on overcharging by two thousand dollars. Since you are, after all, an idiot, I'm sure your limit wasn't scary high in the first place.
To make a long story short she got it down to two cycles of 300 dollars, which was convenient for her because she had money from her grandmother. She still has to pay some of it herself like a big girl, though.

so instead of that going towards fun stuff like drain boards or vaccuums, it went to the freakin bills. always happens that way. so i cleared that up.

So let me see if I understand this correctly. You overcharge by two thousand, five hundred dollars, and you don't even have a vacuum cleaner to show for it? What was all that money going towards, ice cream?

went to the bank to deposit some money in there, and the dude told me i was approved for a credit card, and its 0% for the first 6 months, then 11.9 after that. so i said whatever, go for it, see if we can maybe get rid of one of the small cards... keep them open of course but still knock them all out balance wise.

I'm not sure if I understand this. You're going to pay your credit cards off with another credit card?
Why, what could possibly go wrong?

Another thing on my mind is that more and more it seems like that mayan prophecy is going to come true.

What Mayan prophecy is that, Lisa?

I really think the world is gonna end for humans soon.

You really don't understand the prophecy. I'm not even sure you can call it a prophecy, unless you count the sun rising as prophecy. But that's okay, you tried with your tiny little mind.
We, according to the Mayans, are currently in the fourth age, soon to be replaced by the fifth age. This could mean anything, as indeed the Mayan definition of an age is such that it is impossible to understand what has changed, if indeed we even perceive a change. That's why so many people seem to have trouble grasping the concept because it's so supposedly beyond the grasp of human senses until you're already in it, then it's too late.

Think about the last couple of years and all the things that happened... the tidal wave (typhoon) in china, The louisiana devastation, the iowa floods... noticing a pattern? WASHING AWAY.

Yeah I'm sure the Mayans predicted Louisiana would be washed away. I'm sure that was all carved out on their sun dial.
Let me make this simple for you to understand, Lisa. If you own a calendar, how far does it go? It stops at December 31, 2008, doesn't it? Does that mean the world is ending December 31, 2008? Of course not. Stop being a gullible douche.
I've often heard the argument that WELL WHY WOULD THEY END IT AT SUCH AN ODD DATE? To them that was a logical date, because surprisingly they don't have the same Gregorian concept of time that we do in 2008.

And with all the crazy hale and thunderstorms we've had all summer and even the summer before, im starting to think that we are gonna die by 2012.

Yeah natural weather patterns really are to be feared.

Fuckin scientology people really piss me off. this is a brief summary of what they believe....

Oh what, like it's any crazier than believing a bronze age culture's stone sun dial predicts the end times?
The Mayans, like the Aztecs, Greeks, Romans and Chinese had an interesting religious tradition, at least in my opinion. Their gods and stories seemed to have less to do on whether they were literally true, or indeed even possible, and more to do with the actual meaning behind them. The ideas they stood for was far more important than whether or not Athena and Poseidon actually had it out for the right to rule Athens.
So to treat these things like common history or a common oracle is to demean its actual value to humanity.

lol. hes the best. hes so cute he just called me up bc he got his library card today and he picked up the GED book. and also got acouple movies for us.

Renting up some movies from the library, huh?

saying you don’t know why I haven’t called or texted you, and that I need to grow up. In fact, I AM grown up. Because if I wasn’t, I would blow up on you every time I hear you talking shit about me at work. But I don’t, because I have respect for my job and the people in it.

So not acting like a complete baby means you're grown up?
Interesting view, I guess. In a stupid way.
Well thank you, Lisa, for providing me with my Friday update. I'm so glad I ended on a first name basis with you.

BACK THE FUN BUS UP

I FORGOT TO GET ON.
So by now everyone is familiar with 4chan. Shut up everyone knows about it. It was in Time Magazine for fuck's sake. There is no "LOL RULE 1 DON'T MENTION IT" anymore. Actually there never was. By the time that rule was "in place" it was already going to hell.
Besides you shits don't remember any of that. I started posting in 2004 so I was there for all of it.
What's wrong with 4chan? A lot of things. If I had to compile a list, this would be it.
Girl Anonymous, eh?
So she had a rough day because-- well a litany of small shit that can get you down, but I don't want to fucking hear about it.

WE TAKE A BREAK FROM THE FAIL FOR EPIC LUNCH WITH MY FRIENDS.

Christ all mighty must epic preface everything slightly good anymore? I remember when "epic" was reserved for things that were, well, epic.
So here's a post entitled "RAAAGE". let's see how she uses rage.

And in other news, I had the worst flu EVAR a while ago, which came with all sorts of vomiting/dizziness/stomachaches/hyperven

tellation/inabilaty to eat. At TWO IN THE MORNING :D GUESS WHO FELT LIKE INFLICTING SELF HARM, GAIZ?

and my computer somehow got, like, INFINITY FUCKING BAJILLION Viruses in my sad attemps to get free online for my illegal-begal copy of the Orange Box (Wich my computer can TOTALLY PLAY :D *Fistpump*) I'm gonna have to actually BUY it now. with MONEY. Poor me. D:

Holy. Shit. I'm raging so fucking hard right now at her inept fucking bullshit.
You stupid twat you can't pirate The Orange Box. IT NEEDS STEAM. STEAM REQUIRES INTERNET. IT'S LIKE PIRATING AN MMORPG. I SUPPOSE YOU COULD DO IT BUT IT'D NEVER WORK RIGHT, AND BESIDES IF YOU GOT A VIRUS FROM IT YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING ANYWAY.
BESIDES THE ORANGE BOX IS GOOD BUY IT YOU STUPID SHIT. HOW CAN YOU FAIL THAT HARD AT PIRATING SOMETHING?

My school was having a community cleanup thing today. I met a girl there who liked anime and that made me squee =D We spent the entire two hours talking about yaoi and fanfiction~ Then we got hot dogs and soda at the end~ But now my hand stinks like latex gloves and I think I stabbed my hand a few dozen times (Those tetanus shots I got forever ago actually did something) Plus there was an annoying girl there I spent most of my time yelling sarcastic remarks at (Gee, I wonder why she hates me?)

So, all in all, =D

Fanfiction, yaoi and squee. Goddamn. Also maybe it's just me, but I don't even admit to liking anime in a Japanese class.
Seriously it's kid stuff grow up. Meanwhile behind the scenes I'm creepy and neurotic, but that's private shit.

Koneko is...A lazy bastard who keeps forgetting to use her LJ for something other then visiting communities. I SWEAR, MI LIFE IS BORING. I WOULD BORE YOU TO DEATH IF I TYPED ABOUT EET. Whatever, I don't think anybody even reads this xD

OH YEAH, Does anyone have SSBB? Mah friend code is 0946-1911-6950 ADD MEEEEE~

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English- C (Because I get it first thing in the morning and can't concentrate)

It's the language you speak you fucking idiot. I've had English classes as early as 7:15 in the morning and as late as 9:30 in the evening and I've never had a problem, because no matter what time it is I SPEAK THE LANGUAGE JESUS FUCK.

I don't know why I posted this, none of you care xDD

Smartening up I see.

...and VIDEO GAMES (Probably nothing worth playing, but, STILL.)

Not that you'd know. Smash Brahs Brawl and World of Warcraft basically clenches it for me. You have shitty taste.
So what does every waste of internet space require?
A Deviant Art account, of course.
OH WHAT LUCK.
Like everything on DA it's shit.
Also according to her user page, she was born in 1993, which by my calculations makes her 15, which makes her underage ban on 4chan.
Know when you brush your teeth too hard and some pink shows up in the sink because you probably don't floss enough?
That's what this blog is.
So how do you avoid being gingivitis?
When you adopt a body of jokes from a popular website like 4chan or Something Awful, make sure you understand the jokes you're spouting. When you say "LOL RAGE I GOT A VIRUS BECAUSE I'M AN IDIOT." You're doing it wrong.
When I first started frequenting 4chan there was a mandatory six month lurking period where you just read. If you posted, they'd likely find out because you'd look like a twat.
Most people didn't risk it after six months, though. Everyone I know waited at least nine months.
So that's my advice today. Lurk more. Silence and observation. Those are your virtues.

In the Spirit of Ecumenism

Hope everyone has their vocabulary hats on.
In the Spirit of Ecumenism is today's blog.
Ecumenism? Yeah. It means anything relating to all churches of one particular religion. So, all Christian churches, all Jewish Synagogues, etc.
I told myself during the last religious blog review, like the last anorexic blog, that I'd never do another one of these fuckers again.
But this one is so over the top bad. I mean look at it. The avatar is a Precious Moments cartoon.
PRECIOUS MOMENTS, GUYS. HOW CAN I PASS THIS UP?

The Blood Drive was good :) Just about everyone played their part in ensuring that the event went smoothly. God did the rest! Grin.

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD, SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!

I thank my gay partner for the logistical support, and geraldine for persevering despite the fact that she was on night duty the day before.

That's kind of surprising. I mean I'm sure gays are just as likely to be illogical as anyone else, but he seems kind of-- what's the term-- overly religious. I was expecting a "THE BIBLE SAYS IT'S UNCLEAN SO IT MUST BE TRUE" rhetoric running through this.

Decided to take some time off to relax and all, so I turned on my PS3 and began hammering Resistance: Fall of Man.

Hey, hey, what's a PS3 have in common with a DVD player?
No games.

I realized something while I was playing then, and it wasn't the first time that such an occurrence happened. Every time I play any computer game these days, I will constantly experience this probing from God that makes me feel uneasy. It is as though He is trying to tell me that my time can be better spent elsewhere. For instance, spending quiet moments with Him.

Need to reflect.

So God wants you to stop watching Talladega Nights on your PS-Triple and spend time sitting there like a lemon? If that were my god, I'd be looking for a new deity posthaste.

To "just love." Easier said than done. But nevertheless, I will try and try and try and try. Not with my own strength, but with the strength of Jesus and with the help of the Holy Spirit.

Maybe if you actually tried instead of just sitting around waiting for a dead guy to do it for you it'd get done.

Do not judge a person by his appearance; judge him neither by his character. Do not judge. Just love.

Ha, ha, ha what hypocrisy. You judge constantly. Nothing wrong with it-- it's a defensive mechanism. If a fidgety fuck tapped on your car window while you were sitting at a stop light with an axe handle and asked for a ride, would you let him in?

You guide me in everything I do Lord, but why are you silent when it comes to relationships?

Perhaps it's time you embraced a new deity. I hear Mithras is having a deal-- CONVERT NOW, FREE SPOUSE WITH CONVERSION! Also he has reasonable contracts.

This random question popped to mind when I was in camp today: "What can a person do for you that would make you really really happy?"

I've been asking myself this question over and over again, but honestly, I can't think of any answer. Weird me. Haha. I wonder what other people would say?

I'd say I make my own happiness.

But I believe that God has a reason for everything, including what awaits us.

Including all those still borns and amputees? What purpose could he have for horribly crippling some people and not others?

Bingo. Right on target. Doing what God asks of me, without needing to understand why. A step of faith.

God's telling me he wants you to give me all your money.
It's okay you don't need to know why, since faith will guide you.

Sigh... sad news.

That's the whole post. Maybe you should have gone on instead of your typical ramblings about Jesus and how he's telling you to put your penis in the salad bar at Pizza Hut.
Now he lists his (?) blessings from today. Let's go through them and see who we should be praising.

1. The bus stop has seats that don't creak.

Thank you whoever serviced the bus.

2. The bus stop is clean and free from vermin and litter.

Thank you, ye who cleans yon bus stop.

3. The bus stop is lit!
4. The roads are brightly and evenly lit!
5. Traffic lights work just fine.

PRAISE BE TO ELECTRICITY!
This goes on so I'm skipping.

12. I have money to pay for my bus trip.

GLORY TO YOURSELF, HE WHO EARNS THE MONEY.

I choose to leave the theological stuff for God to settle. You never know, maybe He purposely didn't give us enough wisdom to fully comprehend the scriptures because He wanted us to learn how to place our differences aside, and learn to work with each other DESPITE THE FACT THAT THERE ARE QUESTIONS LINGERING AT THE BACK OF OUR MINDS.

Yeah that must be the reason none of this makes sense. That has to be it!
Oh you religious types always interest me. What possesses people to post like this? I know plenty of people who believe in some sort of deity but none of them talk like this. Is it genuine fear that if even one thought deviates from their chosen deity something bad will happen?
Seems a tad obsessive, don't you think? I'm sure if there is a God (I don't think there is but let's assume for sake of conversation) he would want you, his creation, to be happy. Therefore go on and watch Talladega Nights on your PS-Triple. After all, if he didn't want you to have it, he would not have provided it for you, right? By your own logic he's guiding literally every detail of your life. Maybe you're a video game to him. That has to be it! Try to stay interesting so he won't delete all the doors and the toilets from your house just to watch the tears roll down your cheeks.
Okay that's it no more religious blogs. Can't stand another SOMETHING BAD HAPPENED TO ME JESUS MUST BE TEACHING ME A LESSON noonsense post.

Welp

This could very well be my last update ever as far as I'm concerned, because I found it: the shittiest blog. Every lesson I have tried to instill into ye unwashed masses can be found here, and still more I hadn't thought of besides.
Do not click here, it invites madness.
So immediately every entry is titled "lastnight (sic) and today". Why? Who knows. Who cares.
Here's the first entry:

lastnight and today so lastnite [thrusday] after i updated i was bored for a bit, and i just chilled here for awhile, just talkin to some people, and then i eventually let the dog out and fed the animals and then i was bored for awhile, talked to my mom wen she came home, then she bought pizza but i wasnt hungry, so i just chilled online, eventually took a shower, fucked around on melo, talked to kristy for a bit, try to call pete of course nothing happened, and i called him quite a few times, nothing, then i didnt feel good at all, actually i felt dying idk wtf was happenig and then i talked to trip for awhile, then went downstairs and watch that 70 show, try to eat pizza, didnt work at all, and then i watched rush, and then 2 hrs of dawson creek, then wen i was about to fall asleep, my mom woke up and was being loud, then finally after she stopped talkin i passedout, and then today [friday] i slept and slept and slept, cause i never sleep anymore, and then when i do sleep thats all i wanna do im horribly depressed this sucks, apparently i miss kristy's call, which sucks cause she was suppsoe come over today, and then i talked to chris and i said ill call bak when im awake, and then i got up around 3ish, did some things around the house, went online, talked to chris so apparently around 5ish hes gonna come over, and we gonna go to dp, and im gonna SPEAK TO PETE and get this over with, cause this bullshit really needs to fuckin stop i cant take it anymore, but other then that idk what im doin so if u wanna chill or somethin i guesss hit me up but im out for now peacee

Oh. My. God. That is one sentence. This is the ultimate "who cares?" entry. Jesus fucking Mary.
But guess what?

so lastnite [wednesday] after i updated i was bored for a bit, didnt feel so well, well lastnite i was pretty WASTED lolz. and then i hit up tanya and she said she wasnt sure whats goin on she gonna hit me bak up, so i was still tired and stuff and i decided im gonna go lay down so i get off the comp, and laydown which lead me sleep for a couple hrs, woke up around 8ish, went online, found out that tanya's van wasnt workin and her mom was outta state so we had no way there, so iw ent downstairs ate some food and then kurt called demanding i get my ass there, and jamie really wanted me there too, so he asked if he picked us up if tanya will go and i said hold on so i hit up tanya and she said yeah so i called him bak, finish eating dinner, and got readi, he got there mad fast like around 9ish, and then we went and picked up tanya and then we drove to the place, and then we got there and chilled there was mad people, but it was a sweet place cause there was outside thingy with a fire and shit like that, so i had a couple beers, some blue moon, man blue moon with lemon in it, is quite delcious i liked it a lot and then had some octoberfest which was rather good too haha me and tanya drink highclass beers son, and then we got offer free shots which was cool, and then eventually jamie played but of course she was the last one, then we just chilled and then after she played we chilled for a wheile, needed a cig so got one from lil jon and i also got hit from the bowl which was cool, and eventually we left, i got home around 1 somethin, went online real fast, attempt to call pete, to see perhaps he'l speak to me but he didnt answer, and then of course he turn his phone off, so i guess hes mad at me or somethin, idk anymore, i was too outta my head to worry paranoid like i usual do so then i eventually passedout, then today [thrusday] slept slept slept you get the picture, all i want to do is sleep, nothing else, and then finally i woke up around 2 something, try pete, it was off, try later it was on, but he didnt answer =/ so then i talked to chris for a bit, and now im bored online drinkin coffee, no idea whats goin on tonite i have nothing planned for once so if u wanna chill hit me up but im for now later ppl

THE ENTIRE BLOG IS WRITTEN LIKE THIS. Also all her entries start with "so lastnite (sic) [day of the week] i was bored" then no period. Every. Single. One. You could just exclude that thought all together after the first, oh, four entries because after that it's implied, isn't it?
Also every single would-be sentence is so generic. So I did this, then this happened, then this happened, then I did this, then... Goddamn liven up your thoughts once and a while you illiterate.
I would say this is the work of a four year old, but apparently not because she(?)'s getting drunk and carrying on like a regular grown up idiot.
Also no one ever calls. It's always "hit up" which is now going on my shit list of "terms I never want to hear".
It's a skill I was taught in fourth grade. Telling a story via its relevant and most important points and culling the irrelevant information. I seem to recall a rather grand project about making a haunted house out of shoe boxes, then we had to tell a story using only the vital information from each shoe box section.

so lastnite [monday] after i updated i was bored for a bit, just chilled online, nothing special, talked to a couple of ppl, fed the animals, talked to tina who i havent talked to in forever, i was suppose chill with her later but it didnt happened, then i did some cleaning and then i went online was bored a bit more then my mom came home and i talked to her for a bit, then my damn cat somehow got into my room and ate my cigs,

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Also there seems to be a problem with past tense. "didnt happened" sounds like a three year old babbling.
In fact, that's exactly how this reads.
Also "so I was bored" occurs with such regularity I might as well call it a conjunction as it bridges one part of a sentence to another. Apparently even a half a minute of "not doing anything" is boredom to her. I remember whan I was three I got bored easily too.

so i just watched dane cook

Somehow I'm not surprised you'd be a Dane Cook fan. Also "back" has a c in it. Just thought I'd tell you.

food from panda express i never ate there before i had some chicken kong fu shit, idk it was mad good actually but really spicey but it sucked cause it kinda made me sic afterwards.

"sic" is how I'd describe this entire blog.

oh well and then we walked around for a bit and then saw some ppl i knew and then eventually we left and went into the verizon store cause ryan wanted to look at phone's and i saw the cute pink blackberry phone i want too bad i dont have money aha and then we left and i came home around 7ish,

That's kind of funny, isn't it? Someone who can't speak wants a communication device?
Ready for the biggest horror story about this wide-awake nightmare?
She has updated nearly every single day since 2002.
THAT'S SIX YEARS OF ENTRIES.
Assuming she did update every day (some days have none but others have four, so it probably evens out) that's 2190 entries.
TWO THOUSAND ENTRIES.
I was wondering what sort of creature would write this, and thankfully she posted pictures of herself. I figured she'd have too much makeup on because why not.
Soulless eyes peer past a broken nose and-- that's all I have.
She also dresses like I imagined. You know, like an idiot.
So I guess that's it. I'd comment further, but if it came between having to read another entry or the thumb screws, I'd have a decision to make.
There's no advice for this. What can I say? "Write like an adult with some tact and thought"? "Stop being such a boring twat"? That'd never happen because that would involve thought and skill. Only advice I can give is "never write again."
Yeah, that'd be my advice to her. "Piss off."
OH WAS HE JOKING ABOUT NEVER UPDATING AGAIN?

How I Choose Blogs

Recently I've been inundated with literally three questions about how I find blogs to review.
So let's take a break from usual review nonsense and take a gander at how I continue to bring the content three times a week for going on two entire months.
Basically my first decision comes in the form of LiveJournal or DeadJournal. Naturally any blog with its own domain is going to be too quality to deal with, because whoever writes that site considers their content good enough to actually pay money for a domain to host it and shit.
Blogspot, my own hosting place, makes it too difficult to find shit. That's probably why only pretentious twats post there.
So LiveJournal or DeadJournal. Usually it's whatever key my cheetoh-encrusted hand finds first that determines where I go, but sometimes I might feel like a particular flavor of blog. Do I want angsty preppy girls worrying about the fifteenth dick they sucked that day giving them an STD, or do I turn to whiny, poorly written poetry? If it's the former, LiveJournal. Latter is DeadJournal.
Today for no reason in particular I picked LiveJournal.
Finding a blog is as easy as clicking on the life or culture section. So let's do that~
Immediately you might see why I like LiveJournal. Previews provided from the most recent updates. No need to click to see if it's shit, and I know the content has recently been updated.
First indicator I look for is the avatar. If it's some sugary anime girl (or boy) or some kind of furry avatar, or one of those "lolironic" black blocks with white words proclaiming that they are indeed the biggest bitch in the neighborhood then I start reading in a bit.
Next indicator is title. If it says something like "today was good at work" I usually skip it, because that most likely won't be interesting.
So here's one entitled "im a thief". That's usually worth checking. Any admission of a crime is often an indicator of other problems, and therefore drama, and therefore profit.
But it isn't. Just another one of those "someone posted a list of personal questions that I will now answer in detail because I love talking about myself."
But that's okay. Just refresh again until something turns up.
Here might be a good one. Artsy avatar, entry is entitled this:

My head is full of sky and my boots are full of ocean..

and the entry opens with bitching.
So now I read the entire first entry.
Hmm. Not overly interesting, but it does have an overtone of cunt (note how she demands something from the audience, in this case to give her ideas. Not always, but is usually, an indicator of a total douche).
So now I find the "recent entries" button, which isn't always as easy as you might think.
Ah, found it. Labeled as "What I write..." another good indicator, because usually only cunts and douches change the default names.
Ah this is one of those blogs. When I feel like I'M ON FIYA I might write about this one, but as it is it's too boring with random douchebag sentences.
Take this one for instance:

Money is stupid and imprisoning us to materialistic society.

Why do people say shit like that? Do they even think about what they say? DUR DUR MATERIALISM IS BAD. Guess what, idiot? Materialism drives the economy, and all those fine products like computers and vaccinations and the 1st world standard of living you enjoy came about because of it. Don't want any materialism? Fine. Go the fuck out into the wilderness and craft everything you need by hand. There's a non-materialistic society.
Now had you said capitalist society, fine. At that point it comes down to personal philosophy, or had you said we're overly materialistic, again fine. But to just shout this shit out like it makes any goddamn sense at all-- stop.
Of course getting that far took four entries, with no guarantee there are any more like that. Of course logic might dictate that there was already one, and the mood is set so there will be more, but oddly I find that is not usually the case. Usually it's one sentence like that then more boredom.
Yeah this goes on and on about nothing. The problem here is as I suspected. Yeah, it's bad. Yeah, she's a cunt, but it's such a non-issue. Genericunt, I call it.
But that's okay. Just go back and keep trolling for one.
Here's one entitled "The American Dream?" almost guaranteeing ignorant opinions.
So far it's promising:

Consumption--no not the disease tiburculosis

Do you mean tuberculosis?
Tiberculosis. I guess it came from the Tiber river, huh? Classically given by Tiberinus, god of the river?

So, it's official, I am now a card carrying member of the Libertarian party. It's fun to know that i've now got license to babble on all day about how the other 2 parties are stupid and mine is the best because we just are.

Anyways, Libertarian candidate for president is Bob Barr, from Georgia. Check him out and research my party's platform, because we the best!

Entry is entitled "Whateva! I do what I want!" which is a sentiment I can relate to, but to me signing up for an alternative prepackaged idealogy instead of actually forming your own thoughts isn't exactly doing what you want. Maybe he really does believe everything the Libertarians preach. Psychotic.
At this point I have two comments about four posts, so that's a pretty good rate. Basically I always look to see how many posts I have (or could) make a comment about. If the rate is higher than, say, ~50%, I usually run with it. Typically I'll still go back and check through again to make sure something better hasn't come along (happens often) before returning and finishing off the entry.
I'm a quick typer and the thoughts come to me easily so I usually only have one draft. Sometimes, if I have nothing else to do, I'll check through it and fix a few sentences, but usually it's a one shot affair.
I've noticed, and maybe others have, that a majority (about 80% when I last calculated) are critiques (or mean comments, whatever) of women's blogs. As near as I can tell this is because most people who keep blogs are, in fact, women, and not any sort of commentary of women's blogs.
Although I do notice men tend to gloss over the interesting tidbits, whereas girls will treat a blog as more like a dialog with a friend, and therefore will spill everything.
Gender is not a determining factor because, as I've often said, I can't tell gender.
The page layout is often a consideration in my decision. I've passed on really, really awful blogs because the text was white on a background that was partially white, necessitating highlighting to read. I get headaches easy, so that's usually a deal breaker.
So if you really, really don't want me reviewing your blog, change your background to some complicated picture or something partially the same color as your font.

Stories from Beyond the Grave

Goddamn I wish this was a post about the Crypt Keeper or something, but it isn't.
Also I'm basically procrastinating at the moment, so this entry may be shorter or longer depending on how long that lasts.
Today is a typical entitled princess posting about how awful her life is because her boyfriend said something mean to her.

I hate my life.

I was never blessed with loyal friends. I was never blessed with distractions from my depression. I will never know what it's like to be blessed with true love. I'll never be blessed with a direction or purpose. I'll never know what it's like to be happy. I'll never know what it's like to enjoy the gift of life I no longer want.

Loyalty is earned, not expected. Perhaps instead of waiting for the "blessing" of loyal friends, you should develop a personality and gain some friends.

The only thing I know is Pain, agony, loneliness, depression, chronic emptiness, and sorrow. That is all.

Sounds like me that time I ate at Bojangles.

I want to die. End of story.

Again I'm reminded of that time I ate at Bojangles.

I want to die in my sleep. I wish I could die by taking a whole bottle of asprin. I wish I had the courage to slit my wrists. I wish someone would even shoot me so it wouldn't be a suicide.

If only my life would end... everyone would be so much better off. I don't deserve to live anyway not knowing anything about life at all.

What baffles me is the last part. "I don't deserve to live anyway not knowing anything about life at all." I get the feeling there's a part of that sentence missing. I guess she thinks everyone else knows what they're doing, and she's special and unique enough to wander around clueless?

For the past couple years or so I've been having problems with this friend of mind named Drifter. We've been friends for 6 years and she was someone who I can easily get along with, brain storm, laugh, and role played. We joined character worlds and swapped art several times.

Drifter? Seriously, Drifter? I have to assume that's not what her mother calls her.
Also I see where this is going. "SHE STOLE MY BEAUTIFUL FURSONA" or "SHE STOLE MY IDEA FOR A NARUTO/HARRY POTTER FANFIC."

But then... everything just changed for the worst.

Bit by bit she became extremely critical and harsh. No matter what I did, it was never good enough for her. If I see two mistakes on my artwork, she'd see a hundred. When I made a random gift art for her that I poured my heart into, she never appreciated it.

Oh. Close enough?
I'm going to skip down a few paragraphs to be polite to you, the reader, but this goes on and on for something nearing half the lengths of one of my posts.

Then she told me that she hated my characters after months and months of working on them just to please her. I was crying for two nights over this.

Maybe they sucked?

She is just so unfair. Every time she gets critical or angry at me my fragile self esteem gets chipped away and my social anxiety gets worse. It seems as if she's determined to bring me down. As if she's determined to break me and I don't know why.
Why does she keep harassing me?

In bold is the answer to your question. You made yourself an easy target, so she breaks your balls to build herself up. I'd say "present less of a target" but that'd be too simple, wouldn't it?

That I'm going batshit insane with her negative mouth and mind? Is she jealous of me or something?

Ho ho I'm sure that's the reason. Jealousy.

There are tons of artists out there who are better than me and I'm not jealous in the least. In fact I admire them and try to learn a thing or two from them to improve my own work.

There's a sentiment I can understand. But I'd say you were lying, because if you were truly striving to improve you'd consider all criticism, no matter how harsh. No. Your mind is not devoted to getting better. It's devoted instead to holding on to whatever talent (or illusion of talent) that's there.

But you know what? After my encounter with her yesterday and the endless criticism and negativity coming out of her mouth, I want to end this friendship.

Common sense, in my blog reading? I bet she's still talking to her.

I've been also more concerned with aging, the passage of time, and the limitations of my body makes me more serious about doing what is important and essential.

Now you're just looking for shit to worry about. To me, this is the mark of an idle mind. You need a job (or another one if you already have one) or if you possess the glimmer of intelligence (if I'm writing about you, you don't) some sort of hobby or skill.

My needs for socializing, affection, and companionship has been long neglected as well.

I think I see why you have no friends. Me, me, me.

The problem is, there's no outlet or opportunity to meet new people. I live on mainstreet and it's really just a drag of bars. I don't drink and stores close too early. Why should I be out? Plus I'm afraid to go out at night.

A litany of excuses. Excuses are the refuge of a weak mind.

If only God would just give me the blessings of having people in my life.

EVEN GOD ABANDONED HER. HOW TRAGIC. I'm guessing you're some garden variety of Christian, to which I'd say: God gave his only begotten son for you, unworthy sinner, and even that's not enough. You tax friendships to their limits, don't you?
I was being facetious about the "stealing your fursona" comment earlier, but I happened upon her Deviant Art account, and she is indeed a furry:
http://midnight21.deviantart.com/
Typical furry bullshit, whatever. I wasn't actually trying to find a furry blog to comment on, but I guess if you throw a stone in internet city you'll most likely hit a furry. There are two images so hideous and foul that DA saw fit to censor them. I have to register to see them. I'm half tempted to do this so I can see what lies underneath, since there are other images not thus discriminated against, and they're basically gynoshots.
But then again that seems like a ton of effort for what can only be a female tiger being raped to death by a nineteen-dicked horse.
So I guess that's it.
What?