Oh God what do I do?

Today the god of Livejournal has deigned to give me TWO possible candidates instead of the typical "sit here for half an hour and maybe there will be one" bullshit. WHAT DO I DO!?
This blog has longer entries... Yeah I guess I'll go with this one. RussellB, you're lucky.
First thing: maybe it's my allergy addled eyes, but I can barely read this fucking font. Is black font on a white background (or white font on a black background) that much of a problem for you people?
I guess so.

I just had the most beautiful picture put into my head. i was in the amazing forest with green all around and waterfuls and flowers. it was breathtaking.

Waterfuls. That's not even a word. I think anyone reading this knows me well enough to know how this thought is going to end.
Will she move on to talk about:
A. fucking
B. writing fanfiction
C. furfaggotry
D. Jesus
E. All of the above
Well if you picked "E" you'd be dead fucking wrong. Never pick all of the above. It's almost guaranteed to be the wrong answer.
The right answer was D.

I was running and i just imagined myself jumping as high as i could and not knowing where i would land. then at just the last second i was caught by Jesus and held like a little child.

Wow Jesus is pretty fucking strong to heft that much weight around. (P.S. I'm implying you're fat) (P.P.S. I know by your picture that you aren't, I was just being mean :3)

i will fall time and time again but it seems i'll always be caught just before i hit the ground.

Oh that's a risk I like to take when I'm falling. "It seems like this parachute will deploy." I suppose she doesn't mean literally falling but a metaphorical fall symbolizing mankind's Fall.

life is beautiful and i'm in love living it for the one who made it so. forget fear. forget change. forget the past. forget worry. forget whatever people decide to do.

Forget change? What if it's good change? I'm also purposefully ignoring the incredibly poor grammar in the second part of the first sentence.

i know what i'm supposed to do and where i'm supposed to go and thats all that matters.

That reminds me of something on my campus: The Campus Crusade for Christ, which makes me a little nervous, personally. Maybe I'm the only one who actually knows what you Christfags did the last time you had a crusade, but suffice it to say, I'm watching you. Scum.

i avoid confrontation and seeing people in pain breaks my heart. i also hate losing people.

Is that right? Well, you're a Christfag, so you must be familiar with the Bible, yes? Then, I have a book in that Bible for ye: The Book of Job. The Book of Job is probably my all time favorite because it shows not only what an awesome troll Satan is, but also what a fucking psychopath God is.
Here's what your favorite mythological character thinks of you:

And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.

So there it is, he's going to do whatever the fuck he wants to anyway so why bother praying?
Oh boy it's my favorite time of the day: shitty poetry time.

I’ve always longed for a fairy tale
Maybe part of me never quite grew up
Perhaps I never really wanted to
It’s possible that reality and I will never coexist
I’ll stay here in my land of magic and wonder
Til’ the world fades away to eternity
Those of the world call me naïve
Others still a fool, but I tend to disagree
What’s foolish about believing in the impossible?
Why build a world on a notion of despair?
I’ve built my world on a foundation of rock
Fortified by faith, hope, and an amazing love
It’s something that won’t crumble with the unattainable
My world won’t shatter when I dare to dream
Perhaps it’s not a conventional tale to tell
Though perhaps that’s the best kind to express
For somewhere in this world that discourages all but reality
I’ve found a fairy tale complete with all I ever dreamed of

Further proving that poetry is regular sentences with random line breaks.
Oh another poem, but it's more of a riddle, so let's try to figure out who this person could possibly be.

They named him condemned

Despite the love in his eyes

They turned away

Despite the tears in his eyes

As they made their choice

So far I'm going to guess Gary Glitter.

So there he stood

Friend and brother

Ridiculed, betrayed

Leaving behind him

A trail of blood and tears

Leaving behind him a trail of blood and tears-- still going with Gary Glitter.

He named them forgiven

Despite the piercing nails

He never strayed

Despite the cross he was given

To save the undeserving

Oh, no, wait I know this one. Don't tell me-- is it Osiris?

There he stood

Friend and Savior

Risen, glorified

Shining with the light

Of his father in Heaven



They named him condemned

He named them forgiven

Yeah, definitely going with Osiris. I thought it might have been Gary Glitter at first, but I'm settling on Osiris now.
Okay there's another riddle afoot, and this time I don't think the answer is Gary Glitter OR Osiris.

"i love you for you
not for who you were
not who for will be
i love you for who are
in this very moment"

So whoever this person is doesn't love me for who I was or not who for will be (what) but for what I am THIS VERY MOMENT. Nope don't care this is stupid.

the only moment that is gaurenteed is the one i'm living in.

Guaranteed* and that's right: YOU COULD DIE AT ANY MINUTE!

well its a rainy day and i feel like i got a lot to say (and that totally rhymed booyah!)

when you compare my problems to those around me it's like i'm living the dream.

Well that's some dumb logic because compared to a billionaire your life is shit.

i have an unbelievable amount of hope. so therefore i believe in the unseen and hope for better days.

Yes, hope. Such a useful and worthwhile emotion. A lot of people are convinced you need hope to make life tolerable, but I completely disagree. Life is plenty interesting (and entertaining) when you trust that everything will go wrong. Just don't be down about it and it'll still be hilarious. Not "ha ha" hilarious, but kind like a black comedy. That's not to say you should be an emocunt about it and be completely hopeless, just don't fucking think about it. Although it is best to assume the worst is yet to come.

and sometimes it takes a lot of really bad shit (pardon my language) to make you realize that you just can't do it on your own.

PARDON HER LANGUAGE, GUYS. SHE'S JUST KEEPING IT REAL. I bet she paused for a moment after typing "shit" and wondered if she should edit that out. Well guess what: shit fuck cunt. No one cares on the internet.

i'm not ignoring my life. i'm living it for someone else.

Sounds healthy.

thats the beauty of faith, you always have something to hope for.

Even if you have to trick yourself into believing there's something to hope for. No, sounds great. Live a perpetual lie and ignore everything contrary to your favorite fairy tale.

i can do all things through Him who strengthens me :-).

i heard a story about a man who bought a car. When he brought the car home he discovered that it wasn't running right. He checked the owner's manual to see what could be the problem. The manual told him to check and make sure there was oil in the car. When he checked he discovered that there indeed was no oil in the car. The manual told him to put oil in the car if he wanted it to work. He scoffed at this "who are you to tell me what to do with MY car. i'll do what i want with it." so he decided to put honey in his car instead. When he tried to turn the car on it wouldn't work much to his amazement. the author of the owner's manual knew what was best for the car. he wrote it so the car would run right not so the man would have a set of rules that he had to live by.

God didn't give us rules to limit us. He gave us the bible to follow because He created us. He knows what causes us to run well and what causes us to break.

Except logically this man would have no reason to assume honey would make his car run. There's an objective truth to be had here. Honey does not make cars run. The Bible, however, is frequently (always) wrong on scientific (objective) issues (rabbits do not chew cud, bats are not birds, whales are not fish, the mustard seed is not the smallest seed in the world, the earth isn't flat, space isn't filled with water, etc) and as a moral (subjective) guide it's quite frequently, well, amoral. Like the part where it tells you to stone a disobedient child, or kill all witches (well that part I think we can all agree with).
That's not to say the Bible is completely faulty, though. There are some good lessons to be had, but those are so few and far between barbaric, bronze age reasoning that it's hardly worth reading. In fact, as a moral guide, things like the Iliad and the Odyssey are not only better written (truth) they're also of superior moral fiber because they don't condone beating children and stoning witches.

im trying to be patient but i'm not very good at it. i wonder if i hadn't prayed for patience if i wouldn't be given oppurtunities to be patient? who knows. point is i'm tired of waiting for whats gonna happen to happen.

Tired of waiting to become patient. Sounds like you have a patience problem.

i want to know what people really think. i'm tired of fluff and superficial conversations.

Ha, ha, no you don't. A lie is always preferrable to the truth. As H.P. Lovecraft said: "The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents."
Well that's it. I'm bored and you're a cunt, so~

Respect is to be earned, not expected

rachel11042 you're a stupid cunt. Learn some spelling, grammar and mechanics and perhaps I'll have some sympathy for your plight-- oh wait, no I won't because you're a spoiled, rich cunt.

i feel dead

No one wishes it to be true more than me right now.

im living through movie goggles. everyone knows the feeling. I'll wake up soon.

I'm going to be honest here, I have no clue what you mean. I've never heard of "movie goggles" in my life. Do you mean you feel like you're in a movie? Are you perhaps mixing the concept of a movie with beer goggles? No, no I don't give a shit. You're an idiot, and I'm not going to sit here and decipher your fucking scribbles.

friday was the only really fun day.
gr.

At least you had Friday. Look not to what you want, look to what you already have.

so 2day after school while driving home Alex asked me 2 come pick her up & i obliged.

So far her grammar and spelling have been okay (comparatively) here begins the bad.

then i headed home 4 a nap. woke up hr later-->belly dancing-->bored again.

Oh belly dancing. Your parents are raising a real whore, huh?

AP exams?! nahh. SAT saturday...havent studied at ALL.

Gooooood.

Im physically deprived.

Hmm.
Somehow, with all the talk of belly dancing lessons and a later nugget (to be shared momentarily) I seriously, seriously doubt you're being deprived.

but very satisfied in every other way possible.

Well thank God for that.

except for uncertainty.
I QUITE MY JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!FINALLY!! sooooo happy/relieved/rejuvenated!!

Hey how about that! She "quite" her job!

now i need a new one. i love money. & am goin 2 Italy/Greece verrrrrry soon!

Well my goodness, you certainly are being deprived! Italy and Greece! I hope you learn much during your travels. I understand they're, what was that again? The cradle of Western civilization, or something... Nah, that wouldn't really interest you. I'm sure you'll go clubbing and end up vomiting on some Alexandrian back alley. Dumb cunt.

but prostitutes get more respect than i got.

Well say something I consider respectable and you'll have my respect. So far it's not looking good.
In fact, I'm throwing down the gauntlet. One fucking thing that doesn't make you a vapid whore and I'll end this entry right now.

last night went 2 Mimi's w/Josh & the famille-->dropped off applications-->he had 2 go home 2 do hw & sleep. i need 2 get over jealousy issues cause he's supa perfect. i just wish i turned him on lmao.

Ever notice how, when someone ends their own post in "lol" or "lmao" it's never funny?

therefore i proceeded to go 2 my dadda's.

No, "therefore" implies the previous action caused-- never mind. Of all the issues here, that's not the one I'm picking out.

where i proceeded to call Helen 4 instructions on how 2 light. uhhhhh im really that stupid.

I think you're being too hard on yourself. Up until now I reckoned you for a regular genius.

Now im goin 2 go join my drunken family w/some green melon & vodka cause that's the best kind of community functions...nah i drink aloneeeeeeeeeee=)

I had something to say about this but I forgot what it was. I think this blog is making me retarded.
"goin 2"
Going to.

yes, it is cheesy, yes it is silly, but I'm going 2 try to give him a ring .. & basically say that in 2 yrs i hope 2 still be with him.

please don't give me negative judgment on this one.

I don't care what you do. Give him a ring, don't give him a ring-- doesn't affect me.

i also think ive been classically conditioned by him.

Just like Pavlov's famous dogs.

like in clockwork orange, i get a little nauseaus if i think of something perverted..but im chemically conditioned to love=)

I'm glad to see you grasp the important themes of A Clockwork Orange. (Brotip: this implies he held you against your will and forced you to love him).

i feel like a whore. an undeserving confused whore.

At least you know it.

then everything changed, i became a statistic w/out realizing it.

What?
Oh, I'm guessing someone slipped her a roofie or something.

i thought i was different than everyone but i got lost & stupid. i had a little fun along the way, but i became a monster that I don't recognize.

Or no?
Also, yeah, you're a special princess and everyone just adores you. You still fucking think this, don't lie to me. You're just saying all this shit so people will confirm that you are indeed special. You had a moment of doubt, you thought maybe perhaps you've never had your own thoughts or felt a genuine emotion, so that moment of doubt lead to a moment of panic and you post this. Your mom finds you crying in your darkened room with Fallout Boy playing. Not being one to pay attention to those miserable urchins she squirted out, she's going to try for the good mother routine here.
Instead of dispensing actual motherly advice, though, she just soothes away your fleeting misery so you can retreat into your disgusting habits.
I'm not impressed, Rachel11042.
You're not special. You're not unique.
But that's okay, shit. I'm not either. No one is. Such is life.

he wanted 2 wait til marriage.

the end.

fml.

he still "loves" me.

but i dont know him.

Whoa, okay, kids. I think you got the roles backwards. You're supposed to want to "save yourself", and he's the one that's supposed to pressure you into sex by saying "well you'd do it if you really loved me." Your life reads like a bizarro Lifetime movie script.

& i just called Hard Rock, I am old enough, their sold out.

They're*

one day when im living in Kenya ill slap myself for getting irritated over minuscule things, as for just this brief moment on the vast scale of existence, im a little disappointed.

"I'm a little disappointed" pretty much summarizes my feelings towards you, and I don't even know you.
No, that's not fair. That implies there's something to be disappointed about. This is what I'd expect from your kind.

You might refer to it as "clingy". I call it trying to care.

Life is perfect.

It is? Let me ask you that again when you're "living in Kenya" (I didn't even get into that before because I didn't want to know).

But every time the drill starts to chip the glass (metaphorical glass around the box that holds the heart duh...)

Gross.

Basically there is nothing wrong, life is better than anyone deserves, & I just feel bad that I'm an obligation that he has to tend to everyday when he could be doing hw.

Jesus Christ you say you feel bad like you're not absolutely in control of your own actions. I don't even know what "life is better than anyone deserves" has to do with anything else you're talking about. It's like you're so terrified of something being less than good that you just throw these bizarre self help book slogans in and they don't even make sense in context (or out of context, no one "asks" to be alive, so it's not a matter of deserving, it's just what happens).

drove new route 2 Josh's for QUICK kiss, cause he's in IB!!!!!!!! fuck IB shit fuck it, its silly & makes him stressed. Therefore i dont like it.

Yes, trying to improve yourself and get ahead in life sure is silly.

Also he is taking the same classes as me but his are soooo much harder, i looked at his textbooks their pretty legit! but im satisfied with my slacker school, ha for 31 more days!!!
That's all=)
Life is grand, just SOO grand.

I cut a paragraph. I suspect life maybe wouldn't be SOO (two Os) grand if you actually had some, I don't know... Adversity in your life. Maybe stop slacking so much and try at something for once?
Maybe you've never done it before so I'll explain what it feels like. Life is still pretty great, actually, and you get the added satisfaction of having accomplished something. Like take me, for instance. I just finished a seven page essay. Yeah, not very long, but it still feels good now that it's done.
But you seem the type who, when you finally realize this, start thinking what you've accomplished means something to anyone. I know fully well I only wrote that essay for my own benefit.

but he was happy playing video games so thats important. & trunking although the STUPIDEST thing i have EVER done was enjoyable for him..

This bro is trying desperately to get away from this gash by playing the Halo (and it is Halo, no way he'd play something manly like Dawn of War). I don't think it's working.
& now i have a silly english paper. poop.
Maybe if you actually tried on this instead of dismissing it as "silly" you wouldn't have the grammatical skills of a first grader (I'm not exaggerating, I knew most of these errors she makes by heart by second grade).

more like her downing my choice to convert to Judaism when i turn 18.

Don't you need to learn Hebrew to do that? That uses a different alphabet than English, reads right to left... No, no, you barely speak English. Don't kid yourself, this isn't happening.

SUCH AS: went 2 gym 2day, did hw in less than 10 minutes, volunteering on Sunday w/Josh for EARTH DAY at Nature's Classroom, & Big Brother's Big Sister's because although being a workholic is profitable i get nothing from it anymore but resentment & contempt for the American population that waste money 2 get "perfect" teeth in hopes of improving themselves.
Taking this slow, word by word, and I'll get through this.

She went to the gym. She did her homework (presumably) in less than 10 minutes. She volunteered on Sunday with Josh for Earth Day at Nature's Classroom (whatever that is) and Big Brothers and Sisters (?). Now she's a workaholic (har har) and that's profitable (ok) but she gets nothing from it anymore but resentment and contempt (contempt being a good emotion to feel, particularly towards her) from the American population that wastes money to get perfect-- no, no this doesn't make any sense at all! I would argue dental surgery isn't a waste of money, but maybe that's just me.

Sorry for the rant but im bored out of my mind have nothing productive to busy myself with!!

A common theme in her posts, but oh-- whoa sorry I ended up doing some other shit for about two hours.
Well I guess I'm done here--

faggotlaugh.wav

So today there's some bitch bitching about some shit I don't know I can't really see straight through all the fucking POLLEN. Goddamn I go outside and my car is just covered in fucking green tree SPERM and everyone in class today says "hur dur I guess no one is here because it's such a lovely day outside!" yeah, well, enjoy your frolic through tree REPRODUCTIVE SYRUP. :C
Oh, yeah, here's the fucking link.

definitely this is not one of my better days, or maybe i should say that is definitely not one of my worse papers.

Holy shit I can't decode your fucking double speak today. Please do not use complex thoughts.

because it's more than that. 3 hours of sitting for one paper, which had never happened to me ever since i was an edinburgh student. 3 hours of trying to analyse data and read between the lines while trying to gauge out every single info that might be in my head.

If that's a long time for one paper you're in for a real shock when you hit your sophomore year. Enjoy your 15 pages on shit you don't give a crap about so you have to make up your point as you go along then your fucking professor bitches that you don't make your point quick enough. BRO, I HAVE TO MAKE A POINT I COULD HAVE MADE IN ONE PAGE IN FIFTEEN PAGES. KEEP YOUR FUCKING PANTS ON, I HAVE TIME.
Sorry this is getting a bit tangential.

maybe i'm not a better person who i thought that i was. at this point i'd exhausted all my energy trying to respect and understanding people. now it had reduced me to become bitter and too tired to care.

Yeah, see, now you're getting it!

but can for the life of u ask whoever you have to ask before u make any conformation on the plan?

What?

because plans doesnt fall from the sky or written on rocks that i can just copy and paste. people actually spent time trying to make it work the moment people's responses were more positive than not. don't think that i can't live with disappointments because i've had my share on that too.

What?
Now there's some Sanskrit writing or some shit I don't know.
I only know one word in Sanskrit and only the characters that make it up so not my most fluent language, no. It's this, btw: मूलाधार
I'd explain it but a good mystery is more entertaining, I think.
Oh good grief now there's a poem. Didn't you Indian people invent poetry or some shit? Is this really the best you can do?

reading about how to read people's body language got the wheels in my head churning; is it possible that this is the result of simply thinking too much?

Reading body language is a very useful skill. It's basically the closest you can come to mind reading.

i don't find it possible to read another person's body language while talking. i mean , a mere mortal can only do so much right?

Yes, it is impossible to do two things at once.

maybe ignorance is a bliss...

Truly the logic of a feeble mind.

every so often, i like to take a breather and stop to think about my poor deluded soul.

Every so often I like to take a breather and wonder WHY YOU NEVER SHUT UP. :c

i'll do my best to finish my project analysis by tonight, byhook or by crook. have a feeling that i just might drop dead by the end of the week.

Well I guess that makes you a bit melodramatic, doesn't it? Your blog certainly does go on and on after this post.

i'm spending more and more time on computer lately, trying to analyze the proteins that i found and i'd have to say that the outcome looks pretty good. praise to god.

Yes, praise be to Jesus, or should I say BAPHOMET, HERETIC!?
the 'me-time' is unavoidable because of the nature to reflect ourselves or maybe to just stop thinking all-together.
I often had "me days" in Phantasy Star Online as a joke explanation for why I was a dick and took all the treasure. I didn't know people actually thought like this.
Actually, let me rephrase. I knew people thought like this (they are, after all, people and therefore unlikeable by default) but it's just weird to hear my own (joke) logic thrown back at me.

when you find life to suddenly becomes difficult and you felt as if you were smothered in a blanket,

I know the feeling. I just did the Red Mage artifact boots quest and it was a huge pain in my dick. If you had asked if I wanted to that quest for the boots or you'd give them to me after stepping on my dick for 30 seconds... Well I'd take the quest, but it would be close.

eppp. whats up? are u feeling down and unhappy about the amount of work that u have?

Nope.

do u think u have nothing to live for?

Nope.

do u feel like punching somebody elses face just for the sake of fun and fair sport?

Nope.

if your answer is yes (or even your answer is no i'd still say it), then u, my friend need quotes,

Sounds faggy. Let's see what some of your favorites are--

"some tortures are physical and some are mental, but the one that's both is dental" Ogden Nash

Ho shit if I never need to hire an inquisitor I know who to look for. The rest are, as previously predicted, pretty faggy.
Well that's it. I suspect this will be the last entry ever as I (finally) asphyxiate on my own phlegm from the aforementioned tree-- what was it? Tree reproductive syrup-- eww.

Fuck You, Henry

I love being on a first name basis with the people I review. So I was glad to see today's blog is entitled Henry, which I assume is the guy's name, and not the actual name of the journal.
Henry has problems. ADHD, he's trying to be perfect, he plays Dungeons and Dragons-- but all of these pale into insignificance in light of our boy Henry's biggest problem: he's a douche.

I was just reading a post on one of the ADHD communities I am a member of here, and learned something very important. Some of us with ADHD are perfectionists.

One might wonder at this erroneous conclusion on Henry's part-- indeed, a portion of any population will be perfectionists. But I am, after all, talking about a moron, so let's see where this heads.

The problem is of course that it is impossible for everything to be perfect. What do we do when we see something is not perfect? We stop trying.

"We"? Speak for yourself, please, or should I call you King Henry?

I quit jobs because I am not the best. I withdraw from friends, because I can't be perfect for them. Relationships get ruined, because they are not perfect. I stop doing things I love, because I am not the best at them.

And I think you are a grade A douche.

The question is how to be perfect. The answer is by trying not to be.

I think what our boy here is saying is that YOU'RE FINE JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!! which would be wrong.

I love words. I love reading them and I love writing them. I love how they conjure images in your head on a story, I love how they conjure feelings when they come from a beautiful song.

Wow that's really-- Oh wow, like a stench blossom unfolding in the Stygian miasma that is the internet I can click "more words" and this post expands from one small, nasty paragraph into many small, nasty paragraphs. This must be what it's like to have ear mites.

No, I am not writing to “bitch” at you. I am writing to say that I am sorry. I regret that I have been the cause of stress and so many headaches. You see, that thing I told you about, ADHD? I didn't made that up. It's real. A lucky 5% of the population have it.

Yes I'm sure they do, but what percent of that 5% use that as an excuse for their own shortcomings? I know of at least one person~

I am special!

Ah the failings of the American educational system-- telling everyone they're special so they morph into entitled, self-important cunts.

So all those e-mails with questions in bullet points? I told you, it's very hard for me to both retain verbal instructions and to express myself.

Well then, Henry, in these tough economic times maybe I should just find someone who can retain verbal instructions and express themselves.

Many, many of the people that went to school with me are CPA's.

That does not make you a CPA though, Henry.

Because processing data like that is one of my biggest weak points. I told you that too.

So you can't follow an email (that was nice list complete with bullets, even), express yourself or process data? What are you doing for this company again, Mr. Henry?

Am I a lazy worker that can't get through his work load? Nope.

I don't know so far in three tasks you've listed you've made excuses for all three, so I'm guessing there's something you're doing incorrectly.

Ah, I know you “take breaks to go in to the Internet, and your lunch break is not 30 minutes” you say. But see, something that would make me very happy would be if I could work four hours straight, take a 30 minute break, then work another four hours. Then I can go home and do fun stuff. But I just can't. Why? ADHD.

This is all well and good, Henry, but meanwhile THERE'S WORK TO BE DONE! IT WON'T GO AWAY JUST BECAUSE OF YOUR EXCUSES! I mean, I know you think of yourself as a god child with a streak of misunderstood creativity and your mean boss won't let you write your totally awesome Naruto fanfic on the company's dime but guess what, faggot? Welcome to the real world. No one gives a shit about your talents unless you can produce. Just because you are unique does not make you useful.

I am probably the last person to hear about this one. Long story short, Amazon.com decided to block "adult content" from search results in their website. In order to do so, they took out the sales rank of some books. Well those books turn out to be overwhelmingly gay and lesbian literature.

I hadn't heard about this, nor do I care.

I am late in posting about Ritalin. I started taking it last Friday, twice a day in 5mg doses. I say within 15 minutes of my first does I could feel how my head was more clear...

Cool story, bro

Side effects are minimal,

>Ritalin
>minimal side effects
oh aren't you in for a surprise.

Hello, and welcome to my journal.

Thanks. I just read through it.
That looks like the entire blog. He seems pretty new to this whole blog thing, so I hope my post here about him makes him feel welcome. :3

Charisma~

When you're trying to come off as a smart ass who says mean things because he can, it's fairly important to have some sort of charisma and sense. You have to be compelling so the audience doesn't turn on you, and you have to turn it on yourself sometimes, as fair is fair, and turning it on yourself keeps your pride from turning into conceit.
So when I saw today's offering, "Suck This" I immediately knew what was wrong.

Dear mothers in restaurants,

When your four or five year old child starts screaming and making cartoon sounds at the top of their lungs, you and your other family members are the only ones who find it cute or funny.

No, definitely don't care about this.

Trust me on that. The rest of us think your child should have a wad of napkins stuffed in his mouth and held in with duct tape. And you should have the napkin dispenser shoved up your ass sideways simply because you're so stupid and inconsiderate and obviously incapable of controlling your child.

Easy, punchy.

Wow! Something life changing and amazing just happened. I think I finally made a bowl of miso soup from scratch that I think tastes as good as that at the local Japanese restaurant! One of my big dreams is now fulfilled!!

"Big dreams"? Well it's good to have goals, I suppose--

The next thing I need to do is to find a better way to dissolve the raw miso paste in the dashi. Somehow I don't think submerging a lump in the dashi and crushing it between my fingers is the proper Japanese method.

Good grief. You're a real cunt, friend.

Twitter has now jumped the shark. Last one out please turn the lights off.

Well if the patriarch of cool has declared it so, hey. I'll hit the lights.

Watching Jessica Alba in a strapless dress on Leno while I'm eating Mickey's Kingdom cookies. Life can't get better!!

Your standards are low. Hurr durr gawking at Jessica Alba on the TV while eating (I love it when these bloggers admit they eat too much).
You're an oaf.

And for today's bit of work humor...

Oh boy I'm sure this will be a laugh riot (hostile audience here, bro, time to prove yourself).

A friend asked me to look at his girlfriend's computer. She's complaining of it running really slow. I've got it on my workbench now. Part of the problem is probably that it only has 512mb of ram...XP really needs 1GB.

RAM requirements for operating systems is no laughing matter, son. It bottlenecks countless systems.

But the bigger reason for the slowness would probably be the 59 malware infections. We obviously need to have a little chat about safe browsing practices.

I scrolled down in futility to read the punchline, but the post ends here.
I've noticed a lot of people confuse the words "humorous" and "anecdotal" a lot.

I currently have a Verizon Wireless data plan and card to use my laptop on the internet. Its pretty much for emergency only, when I absolutely *MUST* have net access from where ever I may be.

Yes, for those emergency porn downloading sessions.
Seriously what's this guy doing that he'll suddenly need the internet and not be near a computer with the internet? Are you really that goddamn important? (rhetorical question) What, are you some sort of CEO and suddenly see on your jet that QUICK! MICROSOFT HAS DROPPED! BUY! But you don't have the internet AND ANOTHER MULTI MILLION DOLLAR DEAL IS RUINED!

Is it just me, or is How I Met Your Mother getting to where its just not that funny any more?

>How I Met Your Mother
>implying it was ever funny
:|

I love it. Half the critics say Obama is a socialist. The other half say he is fascist. They can't even reach an agreement on that.

Nope not reading the rest of this.

Something incredible and unheard of just happened. I needed a 500GB EIDE hard drive. The amazing part? Best Buy's price is the same as Fry's price, and the Best Buy is only 80 miles round trip as opposed to 150 for Fry's.

Jesus Christ where the fuck do you live? Even when I lived in bumfuck, Maryland I was no more than 25 miles round trip from a Best Buy.

I have the perfect solution for dealing with North Korea. It involves launching a small rocket of our own.

Well good thing you're not in charge of international negotiations, huh? "I have a simple solution: NUCLEAR APOCALYPSE."

Today's Riddle of the Day...

What do you get when you cross a teenager who's had her drives license for two weeks, a Suzuki Sidekick, darkness, and a curvy country road?

This blog? Ronald McDonald?

I'm glad Kelsie is okay. But now that she's okay she really does deserve to have a foot put up her ass.

This is the second time you've mentioned objects going into the rectum that do not belong in the rectum. I'm watching you.

I feel worse for her dad (also, ironically, named David).

Coincidentally* named David.

I find it both interesting and annoying that when an older woman seeks out younger men she is called "cougar", but when an older man seeks out younger women he's called "pervert". Funny how that stuff works.

Or how when a guy sleeps with a ton of women he's awesome but when a woman does it she's a slut. I fail to see your point, other than "hurr durr people treat men and women differently."
Incidentally I just imagine every one of your posts begins with "hurr durr". I hope that's okay with you.

Okay, I'm pissed. Not even one of you nibbled on the April Fools post. I'm definitely losing my touch.

You worked so hard to make it convincing, too. Frankly with everything else you've said nothing you could say would surprise me.
Here it is:

Uh oh. I'm in trouble. I just read a pile of stuff from Rush Limbaugh. And he makes sense.

I need a drink. Now. Make it a triple. And leave the bottle on the desk.

HA, HA, HA WOW. Good humor, good humor. Oh God.

I've spent the last 15 minutes or so looking for my wallet. I finally found it.

In my pants pocket.

The pants that I'm wearing.

Good job. That's the kind of thing I don't admit to others.

Do people in Asian countries really eat Ramon Noodle type products, or is that just a gimmick to get us 'mericans to buy them?

(And yes, this means I'm cooking a pack now.)

THEM RAY-MON NEWDELS YOU ORIENTALS EAT? (brotip: it's ramen)

I just love it when I order a part from a US company and the company assures me it is being shipped from the US and will only take about a week, and then when it finally does show up after two and a half weeks it has a Hongkong customs sticker on it.

I love it when I order things from England after I've ordered something from America and the British order shows up before the American one.

I don't normally wish bad things to happen to people. I think its bad karma, if nothing else.

And I hope you get trapped on a burning elevator.
Well that was bad. Really bad.

Good Grief

Here we go.
I think you can see why I picked this blog from the opening title:

At least my vocabulary is expanding XD

lol xD die shittingly.

I find it hilarious that this entire Spring Break, I've been reading fanfics as if I needed them to survive.

Well at least you're amused by you, because I'm certainly not.

And I desperately want to learn Korean and Japanese now. Just ::flail:: I wish I had enough time to learn all the languages I want to in my lifetime.

Wow Korean and Japanese? That's one... TWO entire languages! This task is sheer madness!

One: my birthday is next week. Not during Spring Break but during school. Yippee.

I seem to recall thinking I had something to say here but I just sneezed five times in a row and I guess the pressure damaged my brain because I don't remember what I was thinking.

Yesterday, well two days ago since it's 12:48 am (OMG IT'S EASTER~), was Good Friday. Our youth group held a little pantomime show for the church.

I always suspected nothing interesting happened in church. Now I know.

Yesterday (Saturday), I spent the majority of the day just reading fics. I've really gotten into Jaechun. It's quickly becoming up there with Yoosu. I find it funny that I these pairings, which I strongly ship, contain Yoochun, even though he isn't my favorite. Yoosu is good for the fluff and the happiness; Jaechun is just amazing, it's always so deep and written so well, at least the ones I've read have been.

I don't know what half of these words mean.

went to go see Henry V with Wolak and a bunch of other people. It ws awesome! I thought it would be boring because it was a history but it was actually really funny.

>Shakespeare
>good
>funny

I got accepted into the National Honor Society after initially being rejected. And after I found out I was accepted and began walking back to my locker, I began to cry. Luckily, I stuffed my face in my locker. That, and the bell hadn't rung yet. I felt foolish.

PUSSY!

I mean shouldn't one be happy after they've been accepted into NHS? I kept silent. I didn't feel like explaining. I might tomorrow. I don't think they'll understand though.

Yes because you're sooooooooo complicated.

MY LOVE FOR DONG BANG IS TOO GREAT.
>My love for dong bang

And WHY DID THE AWESOMEST WRITER HAVE TO UPDATE NOW WHEN I HAVE TO GO TO SLEEP AND RIGHT WHEN I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF RE-READING SUB ROSA!

>awesomest
You're pushing it.

You're writing kicks ass.

Are you sure you're getting an A in AP Composition? It was a piss easy class but I think you still needed to know the difference between your and you're to pass.

My iPod and wallet were stolen ><>
You got caught cheating, don't add "liar" to your list of critical properties.

I really should start writing in here lol. But I don't know what to say T_T
I fail at keeping journals or anything.

You can put a period on "I fail" and the thought would be complete and accurate.

And I guess to meet other fangirls as spazzy as myself since my friends aren't as spazztastic as me xD

lol xD

OFF TO GO WATCH DONG BANG ON YOUTUBEZ! yay~

>watch dong bang on youtube
>watch dong bang
>watch dong
:3
And that's it. That's her entire blog. I thought there would be more, but mercifully there is not.
Well I'm off to finally succumb to my poisoning.

Them blogs, man

Them blogs.
What do you, dear reader, consider the greatest piece of literature ever composed? Your answer doesn't actually matter, even if its drivel like Twilight because what is for certain is that it is not Whisper in the Darkness.
First thing I have to mention: holy Christ I've been struck blind (and stupid) by the shitty layout.
So first she poses a simple (deceptively so) question to herself:

What change have you made in your life that you're most proud of?

Okay, to which she responds:

To become a lesbian. And not cutting myself. That I'm most proud of.

When your "most proud" change is defined by that which you haven't done I think you've fucked up somewhere.
Also "to become a lesbian" doesn't really seem like an answer to the question. I'm sure what she tried to articulate with her tiny, tiny mind was "I became a lesbian" (see, present tense) but whatever.

Well I called Tim to wish him a happy easter and he didn't stop calling me the other day. I don't know what is up with him. I just wanted to wish him a happy easter and nothing more.

As I understand it some people enjoy talking to people they like, and try to do so frequently and sometimes share their thoughts and emotions with this person. Also they frequent social events together. This relationship isn't romantic. I think you might call this relationship "friendship" but I don't know.

If he wants to talk to me talk to me online don't call me.

If he wants to talk to me, (comma) talk to me online. (period) D(upper case)on't call me.

Anyways I have a girlfriend and she is the love of my life.

I know you said "anyways (sic)" but you should still probably qualify sudden shifts in thought with a paragraph break or some kind of connective thought (or even an admission that these thoughts are unrelated).

I think I'm going to move in with her. Yes that is what I will do. We are getting this big fucking place in suffield and I'm going to move in with her.

When I entered the 6th grade I was encouraged to vary my sentence structure to keep it interesting for my readers.

I hope that it is the right thing to do I think it is.

No punctuation mark is not the correct option here. There are many, many choices, rest assured. Indeed, each offers a slightly different shade of meaning while all are correct. You could have broken this into two sentences, added a comma, added a dash-- anything, really. You're clearly a special case so I'm going to be unusually merciful and give you half credit for things I would typically regard as incorrect (colon, semicolon).

Kathy doesn't but I do because god loves everyone and he who is without sin cast the first stone I always say.

Again I need you to bridge your thoughts better. Also: God loves everyone, eh?
That is true about casting stones and shit, though.

Mary mag was a prostitute I think that is even worse than gay.

Oh-- didn't you just say not to judge and shit?
Also by your wording, homosexuality is implicitly bad, prostitution is just "worse". Personally I'm okay with both but I guess we can't all be Christ-like like me~

Jesus loved her. So I say he loves gays too. I mean the world has changed I mean the male gene will not exist in another 2000 years if we manage to not blow our selves up and find a way to produce clean things for the environment.

I see your understanding of biology, genetics and the environment is as startlingly vast as your knowledge of the Bible.

They say the male chromosome is getting smaller and smaller it said on the discovery channel and all that will exist is female.

Well if the Discovery channel says it, hey. Who am I to judge?

We will be a planet that is totally asexual.

No-- you'd still be female. Asexual would be without gender. Not requiring coitus to reproduce.

We won't need to have sex to procreate.

So because all men die women will magically be able to reproduce asexually? How might that be? Spontaneous evolution?

The female gender is the dominant one out of them all.

I'm going to ignore for the moment that the male chromosome is surprisingly resilient and far, far more adaptive than this stupid cunt thinks.

Although we would probably be like we couldn't live without men but you know what we would find a way to preserve the male chromosome if that was happening so I think we would always have men just they would be toys. There would be discrimination towards them. ha ha ha. Just like fucking slavery only there to pleasure us and then be thrown away.

"Subject displays sadomasochistic tendencies" is what I'd be writing down on my notepad if I had to analyze her psyche.

I would love to see the female as a dominant species because man has reigned far too long.

Say what you will about every ruler ever (male or female), at least they're not you.

I just feel my life has been such a wasteful one. I'm now 26 and I'm not even married not like gay people can get married but hey at least I could get domestic partnership to her.

Wow. You're now 26. Your entire life up until now has been a waste-- and it's now over. You cannot possibly recover from this. Your life is over.

I will take it slow but not being cocky or anything she will eventually have to say that she is married to me.

Ironic that you say you won't be "COCKy" as if you could be-- ha, ha, ha.

Take my name at least instead of her name Missy White.

Sounds like you're hoping to marry a stripper or perhaps a porn actress.

I'm going to bank of america tomorrow to get the remaining 50 bucks that I owe him.

Wouldn't you be giving instead of getting? Whatever. Suddenly I'm reminded of that Rolling Stones song.

I want us to lead a non dramatic life and I eventually want to move in with her. I hope Tim approves of it.

Making a note of this in my psychological pad, too. "Expressed deep hatred of men but still seeks the approval of an unrelated male acquaintance." Then beside that I'd write "issues with father?" Or perhaps "Electra complex?" to remind my note pad that I have a fucking psychology degree.

I just hope this autoimmune disease if I have one doesn't bring me down because I'll be devestated.

Devastated*
Also now I'm thinking of that song by ELO.

Which day of the week do you least look forward to? And which one do you most anticipate?

No one gives a fuck, next entry--

Well I told tim her friend that see he is gay so I'm not worried about anything.

W-- What? This is like when a CD skips and five lines play over each other at once.
I'm going to take this slow, word by word, and see if I can get some sort of sense out of this.
Well I told Tim, her (girlfriend, presumably) friend that-- and here is where I'm confused. Is this an aside? If so, shouldn't this be its own sentence? Also what would you be worried about? That Tim is suddenly going to swoop in and turn your girlfriend (who is a lesbian I assume) heterosexual? Well I only know one Tim (me) and he is absolutely capable of such raw feats of masculine conquest, so perhaps you are wrong in not worrying.
Let's continue. Perhaps this will all make sense in due time.

I don't have any doubts about this relationship. I loved her from the moment I met her. I know now I'm a lesbian and i will never ever be with another man.

This isn't going to make sense, is it? Also I like how you say you have "no doubts" about your relationship but then go on to say "I love her"... Five times, by my count, in one entry. Trying to convince yourself, I see.

I would probably commit suicide knowing I couldn't be with her.

"Subject is clingy, melodramatic and has attachment issues."

Well one that made me really angry is that muslim woman who got her vagina sodomized for talking to another muslim man.

Wow this is like a Zen riddle. You can't perform sodomy on a vagina since it is, by definition, anal or oral copulation.

We should send all the women to college in iraq for free.

Brilliant solution. You're like those beauty pageant winners (sans the beauty): "WE SHOULD JUST GIVE EVERYONE A MILLION DOLLARS!!"

I'm a lesbian just to let you guys all know that. I am and I don't care what anyone thinks or what the bible tells me.

Well you are very wrong in assuming I care. Which I don't.

I don't know about you Christians but I think you all are basically unhappy people to begin with.

All Christians are miserable. All I'd have to do is show you one happy Christian.

I don't know if this is a generalization but it isn't because I've noticed how unhappy Christians are.

You don't know if it's a generalization? Quick brotip: if, at any time, the word "all" comes up, it's a generalization.

I just have to say last night was amazing. I totally am into Missy. I don't care if it makes me gay or not.

This is the second time you've stated you "don't care". Hey you don't have to convince me.

I'm a man hater because I don't think there is a single man out there that is good. I think men are evil. Maybe there are a few but in the general they all just want to get into your pants and bang you.

Yeah like you're such a hot commodity.
Well I could go on, so I will.

I did sexual things to her. I guess you could say we had sex.

This is the first time I've ever laughed out loud at one of these fucking things, and for all the wrong reasons. Really, you did sexual things, so you had sex?

Oh and I weigh 200 lb's now so thats good.

Gross.
Okay I'm officially done now. I probably could continue, but this entry seems to be dragging on and on so I guess I'll go~

I'm Dying

I'm slowly being poisoned so let's keep this short ok~
ugh

I don't even know anymore
I just spent my long weekend doing nothing, and I mean nothing . .

Welcome to my every weekend. Feels good, man.

it's almost like i can always find something else to do that's not work. I don't really know how I pull it off, and I'm always feeling terribly drained after having done a day of nothing.

I never really feel drained (except today, but as I mentioned I am dying) but other than that I know exactly what you mean.

Also, it seems that every time i look at something, it's waiting to be ripped apart and turned into a work of art somehow. Not really art, but something different. A paint job here, a rip or two there, maybe some arranging--WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME

You lost me.

So for anyone and everyone out there, answer me this: when you don't want to do what you've always wanted to do, and if you feel like doing what you want to do will help you do what you need to do, what do you do?

I-- kill yourself.

I thought he had more raw sarcasm in him than Kimmel, Letterman, and Leno

Yes, Leno is known for that biting sarcasm (or maybe that's just a huge bite, hugejawman.jpg).

also, can anyone point me to a full-length, hi-res picture of a crocodile without any of its body parts cut off from the shot?

www.google.com you stupid cunt.

More of the time I get ticked off and turn the TV on. xD

lol xD

I'm hoping it's not ADD, and I know it's not ADD because I know it's supposed to show up in childhood. But lately I've been jumping from one thing to the other, getting distracted more often, talking about five different things at once, doing things without thinking--UGHHH I just wiki'd the symptoms, and most of them apply to me. :'|

I'm going to link you to two character traits I look for in people before I can declare them not cunts. I want you to read them and think hard on them. Here's one, and here's the other.

. . . that only leaves the 1203712478473 other CD's I want to buy, LOL

>buy
>music

I got tired of the P4-themed one, though I do miss the coloursplosion. :"D

>Persona 4
>colorful
Maybe you played a different game than I, but I can summarize the color choice of Persona 4 in one word: yellow.
You know, sort of like how Persona 3 was blue? Seriously I'm not a big artfag and even I noticed this shit.

I finished my school!sketchbook a while ago, and now I've got nothing to draw with--I have my own, of course, but the paper is too soft and so is the lead I use.

So get a new pencil? Seriously they're like 85 cents. Even if you had literally no money a trip around the parking lot could afford you that pencil.
All right I'm looking at her deviant art account. She's okay. Certainly nothing to write home about.

also, this is pretty crazy considering the amount of homework I need to do: I finally touched my P3:FES file again, YAY! AKIHIKO MUH'BOIIII <33333

Persona 3 is sitting in my Playstation 2 right now. I think I'll just go over and eject that. Let us never speak of it again.

I am so not used to the battle menu anymore LOL;;; the system's basically the same as P4 but the menu is just confusion all over again.

I-- it's-- it's fucking exactly the same, only the icons are arranged in a circle instead of a straight line.
Persona 3 wasn't the easiest game I've ever played in my life, but I can say the menu isn't what caused me to stumble.

The interface looks pretty good, but for the life of me I cannot figure out how to use any of the tools because IT'S ALL IN JAPONESS

OH NO THERE AREN'T ONLINE DICTIONARIES THAT CAN HELP YOU IN THIS QUEST.

After my attempts at ass-kickery in Brawl, we played a round of Wii Tennis and tried to get Trauma Center: Second Opinion up and running (I had no idea it was an Atlus game!

girlsplayingvideogames
All right I guess that's it. She wrote a lot (a lot) more but frankly I don't give a shit~

This is probably a bad idea

Going to try Warhammer painting and updating, since FFXI playing and updating worked so brilliantly last time.
Also just a warning: if you want to follow this cunt about, you will have to click two (yes two) links. Apparently she posted in a group blog that I don't really give a shit about outside of her post, and then she has her own personal blog. First, here.
Post entitled "I hate you, Borders."

I did not try to purchase Corambis from Barnes and Noble even though it was available there earlier, because I have NO MONEY (I had a baby. Babies are expensive. WHO KNEW?) but I do have Borders Gift Cards.

I don't see how it's Borders' problem that you had a baby, so I'm not sure what's your deal with the whole "BABIES COST MONEY YOU FUCKS GIVE ME FREE SHIT!"
I don't know what to say here, maybe WAIT UNTIL YOU'RE IN A MORE FINANCIALLY STABLE SITUATION TO HAVE CHILDREN?
Virtually no Borders in my area has the book in stock.
Well I feel very sympathetic towards your sit-- oh wait, what's this?

I tried calling around on Monday to ask different stores if they WOULD have the book in stock, but apparently I spoke to idiots at each store. Hold up. I'm usually kind to people who work crap jobs like this.

Usually doesn't cut it. I'm usually polite-- well you weren't this time, and that doesn't make the idiot working that shit job's life any easier, so get off it, cunt.

But NONE of them were able to locate the book OR Sarah Monette, in their systems.

I have to be honest. I'm a fairly well-read person and I haven't even heard of this woman or her series until just now. I know when I go to Gamestop, say, looking for an obscure game I try to explain what it is, the full title, and how to spell it because I know most people, even people who like video games, aren't familiar with Shin Megami Tensei, let alone how to spell it.

Even the people who recognized her name. Durr? She's written SEVERAL books?

Oh well fuck me, several books in a book store with TENS OF THOUSANDS OF THEM.

How can you not find her? ARE YOU EVEN LOOKING? Idiots.

If she's not in the system it's safe to assume her books aren't in the store. I know I often question the organizational methods of Borders and like stores, but I'm sure they wouldn't just lose track of merchandise. That'd be, I think, bad for business.

It's frustrating that this book isn't carried in more locations. How are people going to buy it if it's not available for sale?

THIS WOMAN IS A NOBODY. MOST BORDERS I'VE BEEN TOO DON'T BOTHER TO STOCK THE ILIAD AND THE ODYSSEY, AND IF HOMER ISN'T THERE IT'S SAFE TO ASSUME MOST PEOPLE AREN'T. Okay so on to her main blog.

Sometimes he can only sleep when I’m curled up on the couch holding him with his ear against my chest so he can hear my heartbeat.

You know they make machines that emulate a heartbeat, don't you?
Personally I can't stand hearomg a heartbeat. It freaks me out and makes me start thinking my heart is stopping.
Yeah that's one of my neurosis.

Which is nice, as OMGTHEBABY recently decided that sleep is for CHUMPS and he’s only going to sleep for two hour stretches at a time, interrupted by feeding sessions that last for half an hour.

Brostorm.

I keep forgetting to eat. Yesterday? I hate a half cup of jello, a glass of grape juice, and a half cup of cottage cheese. That’s all I had until dinner, when I ate like a normal person with Nesko (spinach lasagna, hot bread, and a lemon square).

>I keep forgetting to eat
>I hate[...] (sic, ate)
Wouldn't forgetting to eat mean, you know, not eating anything?

That’s not really enough to survive on, you know?

I beg to differ. Contrary to what most decadent, privileged Americans think, you really don't need to eat all that much.

So I don’t feel hungry most of the time

NOT HUNGRY = DON'T EAT. THIS SHOULD BE INSTINCTIVE.

Nikola wakes up and decides he is hungry also and I tend to him and sometimes forget that I was about to eat something OR feel hungry and head-achey.

You named your child Nikola? What's wrong with Nicholas, huh?
Nikola sounds like an off-brand Pepsi.

Nesko and I went to Church yesterday, at the Serbian Orthodox Church he goes to for Easter and Christmas and no other time.

Nesko. Hmm.

Part of the service was intensely and incredibly familiar, even though it was in a different language.

That language would be-- uhh--
I don't suppose Serbian is a language?

I don’t know if I’m going to blog about it because there’s a very good chance I’ll sound like a jerk or something. I tend to be flippant, and it’s really easy for flippancy about religious worship to be taken the wrong way.

Who gives a fuck?

So I was very clueless as to what was going on (most of the service was in Serbian as well; there’s normally an English service at 9:30, this was Serbian with a little English mixed in) and that always bothers me.

Prior to this she mentions that she's used to the Catholic tradition (I omitted this part because it was too boring), which is funny because that's supposed to be in Latin.

It’s kind of weird how not involved in his religion he is. Growing up, I went to Mass every single Sunday, First Friday in grade school, Holy Day of Obligation, etc.

I've never set foot in any holy place of any religion and I turned out perfectly fine. What use is it?
Now there's a post so incredibly long and boring I find myself treating it like school reading and just kind of glancing over the length of the paragraph (not the actual contents of it) and considering it read.

I’ve been drawing with pencil and pen since we moved and never got around to unpacking my tablet.

I found it today after about an hour’s searching, but now I can’t find the stylus.

OH LOOK AT THE MASTER ARTIST. CAN'T USE THE MEDIUM THAT MAN HAS USED FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS TO EXPRESS HERSELF. NEED THE AWESOME POWER OF THE INTERNET TO MUSTER THAT FOR YOU, HUH?

It is, in fact, the Wednesday after Fat Tuesday which makes it a stupid fast day because I was born during Lent and ARGH I’m tired of fast days on my birthday. :(

... So eat. Seriously nothing bad will happen to you. When you die it's nothing for all eternity (perhaps coupled with the feeling of falling backwards).

Because other people’s dreams are totally interesting, right?

Wrong. Next post.

My friend says of them “I hate them. I hate them so much. I’ve always hated them, since I met them. Before I knew her, I hated them. They are foul.”

While you are a cunt, your friend sounds awesome.

What is your first reaction when someone says "I need to talk to you"?

"THAT AIN'T MY BABY!" Regardless of context or severity of what's about to follow.
Wow this does go on. That's it. The end.

This is a good idea

I'm going to try fishing in FFXI while updating my blog at the same time.
NOTHING CAN GO WRONG.
Shemovesalong91 you are a douche.

i didnt go out friday night because everyone was busy and i was REALLY tired so i didnt exert any extra effort to get plans. Saturday night i spent with the family, oh joy.
and then yesterday was like pseudo-easter and i got my blackberry early<33333
and its a godsendddd, i was dying with that walmart phone.

Awww she was dying with her Wal-Mart phone, poor dear :(

i still miss my old phone but the curve is beautiful. its really hard to figure out but im technologically stupid so i'll give myself some time before i master it.

Oh if only technology came with books to help you master them.

I have nothing of worth to say because my life's been almost out of my hands lately because its just happening with nothing of purpose occurring.

And yet you go on for several more sentences. I'd read this but by your own admission IT'S BORING. WHEN YOUR OWN LIFE IS BORING TO YOU YOU'VE FUCKED UP.

so today sucked. it rained, i lost my phone, and stained my jacket. bad luck comes in threes. typical.
when i got home, i finished the Da Vinci Code, which was really good. Then i napped.

Oh boy how riveting.
Seriously are you trying to be this much of a fucking bore? It's working.

so today was pretty uneventful for the most part.

I'm sensing a trend.

they already know my current issues but its really been bothering me lately. i hate mind games, i hate conversations that SHOULD NOT be had because they are innapropriate, and i hate not knowing what to do.

You sound like a stupid, pretentious cunt.
I know your type. The type that roll their eyes at anything anyone says, but then demands attention for any stupid thought that enters your head.
Everyone hates you.

i like being in a good mood all the time

Holy shit what a waste of a sentence. Yes, everyone else just fucking looooooooooves to be in a bad mood.

as for after school, i went to the mall with mike. i bought a sweater, two shirts, and a bag.

I find myself staring off into the middle distance while reading this. Also every sentence of hers sounds like an exercise in a foreign language class. You know, when you don't really know how to express yourself because you don't know many words? So every sentence becomes "as for today, I bought (a) sweater. I bought shoes. I bought a bag." That's her entire existence.

we had an awkward discussion that should have made me squirm more than it did but basically, i've just decided we're really fucked up best friends. anywayssssss,

Christ all mighty this is tedious AND stupid.

today was a virtual waste of a dayy.

No fucking kidding?

after aids, i went to taco bell with the mock trial team. we stayed for two hours and it was sooooooo funny. i basically know all of their lives and its great. ugh, i cant even take how nerdy it is but i love them all.

I like how any interesting detail (something being funny in this case) is immediately glossed over, thereby guaranteeing all of her entries will be about how her life is sooooooooooooooooo booooooooooooooring :(
Also when she says "after aids" I hope she means she contracted AIDS.

ahhhh, well i'm currently watching Au Pair 3 because i used to laloveee those moviess. it's pretty gay so far, not going to lie, but its mindless and i like ittttttttttttttttttt.

I wonder if she talks this way in real life.
I bet she does.

Well, while i was in italy, he had a like a "mini" heartattack, which is probably grammatically and socially incorrect.

YOU KNEW IT WAS GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT AND YET DID NOTHING TO CORRECT IT.
Here's a post entitled "yeah, so my life's REAL interesting" continuing with the crusade of BORING.

stayed home sick todayyy but it didnt even feel like a whole dayy seeing as i only woke up at 12 and went to the school anyways at 2:30 for mock trialll. lifesajokeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

I can almost hear her whining through my monitor~

last night was a bore.

Oh God shut up. Shut the fuck up you waste of space. Jesus Christ your entire blog is a waste of time and effort. "Today was boring." Copy and paste that about a trillion times and you're done. You never need to update again.
This is bad. This is perhaps the worst blog I'll read all week. It's all up hill from here, people.
The only redeeming feature of this blog is that in reading it my FFXI character gained .4 fishing skill and 1.5 stacks of Nebimonites, but that really has nothing at all to do with this dumb blog.
In fact, had I been giving my game my undivided I'd probably be better off.
SO NO, NO REDEEMING QUALITIES ARE TO BE HAD IN THIS BLOG.

THEY FIGHT LIKE DEVILS, THEY WILL DIE LIKE SINNERS!

myloveprocess's journal.
>my love process
>:C
Most recent entry:

04:24 pm
50% Friends

What?
Ready for some retard philosophy? I know I am.

A shadow is the absence of light. Yet a shadow can only be present if there is light.
Just like life, there is good and there is bad.
Bad is the absence of good. Yet bad can only be present if there is good.

Oh boy. So if bad is the absent of good, then good is the opposite of bad. If something is not good it is, therefore, necessarily bad. If something isn't bad then it is, therefore, necessarily good. If someone is not bad, they are good. If someone is not good, they are bad. What if they're neither? Well, since they are lacking good they are bad. Since they are lacking bad, they are also good. Therefore, I posit, good and bad are the same.

I hate living up to everyone's expectations omg. Shoot me already.

omg high school is sooooooooooo difficult :{

I think Akon is too black for his own good, and his voice isn't exactly very pleasing to the ear,
But Right Now (Na Na Na) is a super good song.

>Akon is too black for his own good
Ha, ha what? Yeah, someone better tell that Akon to lighten up (literally). I don't think he has control over the melanin in his skin. If you mean he acts too black, then I'm pretty sure it's an act to sell records. I don't know Akon from Adam, but most of those rap guys are acting. It's hard to do drive bys in the ghetto when you're living in a mansion worth more than some smaller countries.
Although I think as Chris Brown confirmed you can still mistreat women in said mansion (burn).

Anyway, juniors played really really really well today. In my viole(n)t HAHAHAHA OMG PUN, opinion, you should have just punched/ kicked violet. But anyway if not for her we would have won like, 60+ to 2? Hahahaha.

Am I dying?

I'd like to compare your love to a smoldering charcoal in the wind, never burning out yet never flaming hot.

YEAH WELL YOUR LOVE IS LIKE A PLASTIC BAG AT WAL-MART ON THOSE BAGGING CAROUSELS-- what.

My mind's pretty much a blank now, and everything I type out seems pretty pointless.

Oh, so like any other day?

I've been trying to come up with something worth your(reader's) time.

Dear myloveprocess,
Anything you write is a waste of my time.
Love,
Tim
P.S. stop writing.
P.P.S. please.

I still am in the right state of mind. Have you lost the ability to empathise?If love fuels my anger I'd rather not love at all.

Bitches be crazy.
And that's it. That's her entire journal.
Glad to see she really was considering my time investment when she decided to write this thing.

FOR THE EMPEROR!

The semester is winding down, finals are around the corner-- it's nice to see people can take time out of their day to be pretentious, self-centered douches.

In the midst of the end of the semester, I'm really busy and it's really easy for me to stress out but I have just felt God saying to me this week, You can do this. You don't need to be stressed. Look at all I've given you; You have friends who love you, family who wants to see you, the love of your life there to support you, the character to do what's right even if it's hard, the motivation and focus to complete it all, and most of all, Rachel, you have My joy that I have given you especially for times such as these. Trust me Rachel."

Stop. I never bought into this religion thing in general and Christianity specifically, but I don't think the point of faith in some sort of religion is to make its central deity your fucking personal self-help guru. He said all that to you, did he?

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me

Ugh this is already getting tiresome.
Now here's a post entitled "Ha ha" with nothing in it. I guess that's the number of things she's said that have caused others to laugh (owned).

I commit this coming year to one where I will draw nearer to my Savior.
A year where I pray more about decisions... large & small.

Great. More time spent hoping some magical space entity will make my decisions for me instead of doing shit for myself.

Or I could say, "Because I scare the boys away with my awesomeness."

Yeah I'm sure that's it. Don't you Christfags have some sort of rule about hubris or something?

Have you ever just wanted someone to want to get to know you?

Nope. If I perceive someone I'd like to get to know better, I talk to them. If they enjoy my company we hit it off. If not, fuck them.

I'm sure you have.

Well aren't you presumptuous?

Everyone wants that I think. But I would really like to be known and for someone to ask me about....me. Eh.

So you want people to be interested in you, is that it? Well for people to be interested in you, you have to first be interesting. That's the difficult thing for a lot of people. There are many ways to be interesting. You can look interesting, say interesting things, or have an interesting talent.
So far, based off the contents of your blog, you fail at all three things. I mean, I've never seen you before, but I can imagine.

I've been around the block a few times and my age has nothing to do with it because people are so quick to use the age card to count for life experience when that's not necessarily true.

I'LL BET YOU'VE BEEN AROUND THE BLOCKS A FEW TIMES! (burn)
Also shut up. You're 19. You know nothing.
Now here's her lesson for today, which I think is particularly apt:

Don't put your life on the internet if you don't want people to read it

Couldn't agree more.

It's hard to deal with sometimes when people assume things about you that aren't true. They don't even know you, or know someone close to you but they'll still pass judgments.

Who gives a fuck? If they don't know me, I most likely don't know them, and therefore by default don't care what they think.

At least put a little truth in peoples' minds instead of crazy stories they'll make up on their own and say about me?

Oh wow unwarranted self importance. You really think people you don't know care that much about you? Most people probably won't look twice. Seriously.
I'll teach you a valuable lesson right here, right now. Let's go through your little list, and I'll say what immediately comes to mind when I read it.

I'm single. Not looking, not interested.

Lesbian.

I'm grateful for the close friends I have. I'm happy that, in all honesty & sincerity, Gus and I are friends. Nothing even close to anything else. I'm happy about that because of aforementioned reasons and because he and I never got to be real friends without romantic inclinations before.

You're manipulative.

I love myself. I love who I am becoming and the changes I have made.

You have no self confidence and rely on your friends 100% to prop your self esteem up.

It's really important to me to be consistent in my relationship with God because sooner than I think, I will be on my own and my world falls apart when I do things my own way apart from the God who loves me and takes care of me.

Don't think a lot about this, quite frankly. Oh wait, I have one. You're stupid. Now how did that make you feel? Pretty bad, I imagine. But oh wait a minute: who the fuck am I? I'm no one, at least to you. Why does my opinion matter? It doesn't.

It's just weird knowing as much as I stalk other people, people are stalking me. Weird.

Yes, those who do illegal things are quite often afraid that they will be caught, or that their activities are reciprocated. "Dark thoughts weigh heavily on the heart."

Just remember that:
You may think you know, but you have no idea.

Know what? Philosophically speaking all I can say with 100% certainty is that "I am." After that I'm pretty much making assumptions. Still I know a lot of things to a fairly safe margin of error.

Goodbye Stalkers.

You really think you're being stalked, don't you?

I hate having my journal friends only...

Uhh--

It is especially 'disheartening' since I probably won't be dating at all for three years. Three years of THIS. Let's just hope that Jesus gives me a heart change soon so that I can be happy as a single woman. And by 'soon', I mean now, because I don't know how this will affect me in a little state called desperation. The last time that feeling came over me... let's just say, it was a mental disease filled with poor choices.

I think you need to get laid.

Sooo.... here's the big news.
Yesterday I praised God that I had a sister because she got us tickets to go see the most amazing band of my life.

So you only praised God for you sister because she did something for you? Wow, what a cunt.

So I am officially a college student who attends classes, studies, and has migraines. It's pretty great if you ask me.

>migraines
>pretty great
you've never had a migraine, have you?

But, the food is great, most of the people are great.

Okay now I'm sure you've never been to college, either.

I met a girl yesterday who is legally blind with a slew of eye problems like, her eyes can't focus, and she's photophobic meaning she can't be in the sunlight. And she's an AMAZING artist!! She's just sooo good. I'm so jealous. God really gave her a precious gift.

Just not sight. One might wonder what kind of God would allow a person to go blind.

There are so many girls who are Christians but they don't understand why that should entail a level of modesty.

Huh, you, Mrs. "people are stalking me because I'm so scary awesome :)" lecturing people on modesty.

I watched a movie this morning and then walked to Curves and worked out until the sweat was streaming in my eyes :-p .

Ha, ha-- eww.
Now there's a ton of shit I don't care about, so entry over, I guess.