Oh Christ

I need a second.
I was configuring some Might and Magic 1: Secrets of the Inner Sanctum in DOSBox and the sound that projected from my headphones was so horrific and loud I think I legally died for a full minute.
If you were wondering what the worst noise ever the answer is a PC emulating an early 80s PC making system beeps at 3 quarters volume in a sick mockery of music.
Also the instructions said I needed an Apple II emulator when clearly it's the DOS version.
I don't know if anyone is on their A game in this production.
Also there are no sound settings for this fucking game.
Maybe I can force Soundblaster 16 emulation?
Maybe I'll just mute the whole thing.
Oh.
Not sure this game has music outside of the awesome intro.
Anyway let's read about this cont
And holy shit did I pick a boring blog.

And it has totally kicked my Steve/Natasha/Bucky shipping into high gear (I've written 500 words of the sequel to "Our history is just in our blood" this weekend, after months of nothing), and somehow, along with that, my no longer sekrit Chris Evans/Scarlett Johansson shipping. I don't even recognize myself! I just want them to make out a lot (both on and off-screen) and have beautiful babies and keep making movies together and trolling reporters. They're just so ADORABLE and they look like they enjoy each other's company a lot. I may have a problem. *hands* 

HURRR DURRRR

I have had a lot of caffeine today, and only a big salad to absorb it, so I might be a little (more) scattered. The big salad was good, btw. The crunchy Thai chicken salad from Just Salad, though I feel like maybe celery is unnecessary. I knew it was there, but it was a surprise every time. Also, because I am a wimp, I had them switch out the spicy peanut dressing for balsamic. Regardless, it was tasty and crunchy, though sadly lacking in cheese. I feel like every salad should have cubed fresh mozzarella in it.

Only Americans can turn something as healthy into a salad into food for fat people.

I went to see Pacific Rim this morning (though I did not know there was a scene after the credits, so I left. Curses! But if you haven't seen it yet, now you know!) and I thoroughly enjoyed it. And now I understand why there are already 9 million fusions and AUs, because it is the perfect setup for your OTP (or even OT3). But mostly my takeaway was that Mako Mori was Cass Cain and Stacker Pentecost (!!) was Bruce Wayne, and I had a lot of Batfamily feels.

What the fuck does any of that mean?
I don't know and I don't care.
That movie was fucking garbage
stop talking about it.

I did have some trouble parsing the dialogue because of the sound mixing, but also my hearing is pretty shitty when there is background noise. I look forward to the blu-ray where I can turn on the captioning. And then I can wince at the workmanlike dialogue. *hands* 

I'm not sure what "hands" means but I'm sure it's fucking obnoxious and she probably needs hit for it.

After the movie, I went grocery shopping because I am going to a fangirl gathering tomorrow and need to bring a dessert.

>fangirl gathering
>must bring desert
wow is there even enough ice cream on earth to feed that herd?

I brought home my 4 lb. pork shoulder, and poured out 2 tbsp and 2 tsp of coarse sea salt (half of what the recipe calls for, because the comments warn it can be salty) and then my brown sugar was frozen into a solid block, so I used honey instead, which doesn't caramelize the way sugar does, so it didn't get crispy on the outside, it just burned. The rest of the meat is nice and juicy and pulled apart pretty easily, so that's nice, but I might try it next time as written.

PORK SHOULDER RRRRRR

Last night, L. and I went to see Man of Steel. Since it was in 3D - not even IMAX, just 3D - the tickets cost $18.50 and with the fandango service charge, they were $20. (unfortunately, non-3D times were thin on the ground, and didn't work for our schedules on a work night.)

I can think of few movies I would happily pay $20 to see, and let me tell you, Man of Steel

MAN OF STEEL IS ONE OF THEM SQUEE *HANDS* <3 p="">just you fucking watch.

is not one of them. There was a good movie in there somewhere (not necessarily a good Superman movie, but nonetheless, there was some salvageable stuff in there) but the version that's been released is not it.

Oh.
Well what a surprise.

First off, the 3D transfer was terrible - the movie was visually dark and kind of murky, and I'm not even talking about the unsaturated colors, which I actually kind of like in general (but not for SUPERMAN. COME ON GUYS. IT'S SUPERMAN. SHOW A LITTLE RESPECT.)

Sounds like the movie. They had the gray filter on everything.
Which I like. I like unsaturated colors.
But still fuck that incoherent mess.
Also buy a fucking tripod. I know you spent a billion dollars animating every chest hair on that faggot. Buy a 20 dollar tripod.

I think you know what my fandoms are. If you pick something that's not one of my fandoms I'll either ask for something I'm familiar with or make something up.

I THINK YOU KNOW.

Yesterday afternoon, I saw Star Trek Into Darkness with a bunch of fangirls and... okay. the movie itself is moderately entertaining (especially if you don't think too hard about it), and quite often hilarious, though not, I think, in ways it was intended to be?

Movie was awesome
shut up.

I thought Cumberbatch was fine as the villain - I find him really unattractive so looking at his face bothers me, but he has a lovely voice and he was really good at being icily menacing. But, you know, he's not Khan and they shouldn't have gone there, for a variety of reasons I may or may not natter on about at great length in this post.

>fine villain but not pretty enough so I didn't like him
typical fangirl cunt whining here.
I thought he was good.
Don't know who he is outside of what these twats  have to prattle on about with Sherlock Holmes but otherwise I thought he was a competent Khan.

And speaking of the militarization of Starfleet in this timeline - so are they at war with the Klingons? I'm guessing no, because they wouldn't be sending the flagship out on a five year exploratory mission if they were, but some acknowledgement of that IN THE MOVIE would have been nice.

I guess that five minute scene about militarizing Starfleet because they'd be at war with the Klingons any second and then another scene about the new Starfleet dreadnought wasn't enough of a tip for you.
How about a giant neon sign that says "war impending you stupid fuck"?
Also the Enterprise would be a shitty flagship because in the five minute talky scene about how fucked the galaxy is if it came to a fight with Klingons it was mentioned several times that all of Starfleet was exploratory and science vessels.
Let me spell that out for you:
ships made for exploration and research tend not to be so good at fighting wars.
Remember the dreadnought scene where it caught up to the Enterprise in the warp and ripped it out of the warp by shooting right through its shields?
Exactly.
Christ you people are thick.

I think that could have been a really interesting story - the militarization of Starfleet, and Scotty's objections ("I thought we were explorers.") touched on it as well - but it gets subsumed in this ridiculous plot and then never brought up again. I mean, they could have had ONE LINE when Kirk wakes up - Kirk: "Are we at war with the Klingon Empire?" Bones: "No, Uhura convinced them it was a bad idea." - but it's just completely dropped.

How fucking stupid are you?
They spent literally five minutes on this subject in the middle of the movie.
They even traced the history of the starships with Kirk.
Were you paying any kind of attention or do you lose focus when there's no gay relationship material on screen?

Oh my god, this day. Fridays should not be this busy, nor this annoying! I was unable to connect to the network for over an hour and I was reduced to doing some filing after I ran out of copies to make! FILING! Ugh! Cruel and unusual!

The entire week has been hectic and I don't think it's going to slow down because now we're two weeks out from the next board meeting, and that always makes things crazy.

White wahm working.
Uhhhhh fuck blogs
Fuck the internet
Fuck this gay earth

Things you're not allowed to say

So let's mix it up a little by going back to my old friend ONTD_Feminism.
Last update: July 12.
Feminism is hard ;_;
Da Roolz:

2. No personal attacks. There is a difference between calling an idea stupid and saying the same thing about a member. And you know it. 

Yeah but telling a Commie in EVE Online his build needs improvement maybe isn't quite the same as calling him a shit-eating pig farmer.

Something that is really being talked about in my state of Texas is the prevention of a bill that would restrict abortion. 

... Speaking of shit-eating pig farmers, what's going on in Texas?
That really was the perfect segue. I didn't even plan that.
I couldn't have planned that.

It was supposed to be voted on but what happened was that a state senator named Wendy Davis stopped the bill from being passed by filibustering for 11 hours straight. She wasn't allowed to sit down, lean, eat or go off topic when discussing the bill for 11 hours. The midnight deadline was narrowly avoided and Repbulicans tried multiple times to get her off the stand. 12 minutes before the deadline Republicans were to start voting but there was so much cheering and raucous from protesters that they didn't (couldn't?) vote.

The effect this had:
delayed the vote by 24 hours.
Goooood.

The endless parade of serial-killer dramas on TV today raises an uncomfortable question: What does it mean that we as a society seem to find violence against women endlessly entertaining?

Violence period is endlessly entertaining, apparently.
Why else would all this shit sell?
Since the 10,000s BC that shit has sold.
One of the first professions you could be that wasn't hunter-gatherer was storyteller.
Most of the stories told?
Heroes killing shit dead.
A man that produced nothing except entertainment was one of the first jobs to rise out of the agricultural revolution and the barter economy.
Think about it.
The two species most related to us are chimpanzees and bonobos. Our behavior is a perfect compromise between the two.
Chimps are violent
Bonobos bang everything
welcome to the species with STDs constantly at war.
People sure don't think a lot about shit.

 The show is not subtle in its embrace of feminist themes. It purposefully paints male characters as both limited and flat. The hollow men, the stupid men who think largely with their cocks, the men who delude themselves into thinking that somehow they are worth more or are just better than women, are shown not as fully sympathetic human beings, but as dumb, or violent, or impetuous men.

Feminism: we're fighting for our equality.
We're achieving this by making men seem like violent brutes.
But we want to be equal, honest!
It's different because we're oppressed! We're allowed to say bigoted things because that's just us giving power to our gender!

You are a slave to your desires, you have no control at all, you are weak, impotent, you think you are some kind of artist, but you are not… you try to dignify what you do, but it’s just misogyny, age-old male violence against women.

In this story I'm kinda working on probably the most sadistic and violent character is a woman.
It's partially that way just so I can gauge ONTD_Feminism's reaction afterwards.
The goal is absolute moral ambiguity.
The people she hurts are thugs and criminals but she's every bit as cold and malevolent as they are.
I'm a big fan of the theme. Becoming your enemy to beat them and at what point can you no longer justify actions like that?
How much collateral damage is too much?
See good stories start with a premise like that. They don't just say "hurrr muh freedms and muh sogyny."
I'm looking at you, Tom Clancy and ONTD_Feminism, respectively.
And that's just one lesser theme in a web of statements.
At no point will it even beat you over the head with it. It's all just a facet of a larger picture I'm painting.
You see the fact is this character could even be a male. The gender is incidental to the development of the character.
Real character development stems from what a character thinks and does. Not what they look like.
The character is female for a different reason. The story necessitates her being a woman.
That's another important thing to note: make sure you develop your characters in a way that they could be no other way. Most people aren't arbitrarily nice or an asshole. They're that way due to genetics and upbringing and shit.
If you just say "hurrr wahm character because feminism" then you're a shit author who needs to stop.
When developing characters don't ask "what are they like?" instead ask "why are they not another way?" and if you don't have an answer it's a detail you don't need to include or need to rethink.
Character development is less about you jerking yourself off and more of a torturous thought experiment into the true nature of man.
This is incidentally why fanfiction sucks.
Look at that question I just asked: "why are people not other ways?"
Do you have any idea the hours of research and debate that leads to?
That's why so many authors claim all of the story came in a sudden bolt of inspiration. That's just the pieces falling into place. More than likely all (good) stories have been a 10 year internal dialogue.

Yet, the show then runs into the same problem it creates for viewers. This argument forces the viewer to ask: If violence against women is nothing more than violence, plain and simple, then why is it at the center of this show? Isn’t it a bit hypocritical to send this message while entertaining us with violence against women?

That'd be a good question to ask if the show didn't clearly suck.
Kind of self defeating, too, because the only conclusion is "wow we are complete assholes."
I know what my first question would be: "why is violence against men normal but violence against women horrific?"

Creepshot is dedicated to posting pictures of women in stages of undress taken without their consent or knowledge, basically.

Don't undress when people are around.
Check your surroundings.
A post about the existential angst of multiculturalism causing misogyny-- (OH NO)--

This was inspired by a question on my Christianity & Sexuality exam about the detrimental effects of pornography on society.
Because pornography elevates the levels of the same chemicals also activated during drug use and falling in love, porn can become an addiction for those who use it. Addictions are harmful not only to those who suffer from them, but to the friends and families of the addicts as well. Addicts tend to isolate themselves, and curing addiction is a long, arduous, and often painful process - but it can be done. The viewing of pornography does have everlasting effects, however, and those who view pornography - both women and men - view women differently than those who have not used pornography.

Oh yeah I remember these debates in pussy sensitivity.
Also Christianity & Sexuality are you fucking kidding me?
There's a wasted tuition if I've ever seen it.

Simply put, pornography encourages the ongoing objectification of and violence toward women. Women in the sex industry are routinely viewed as sexual objects created for men’s pleasure. Real sex is devalued by the viewing of pornography, because no actual sex could live up to the air-brushed fantasies that porn presents as reality.
It’s not like being a porn-worthy bombshell is any better. Women from the sex industry are viewed as a lower from of life and degraded by both men and women for their perceived “choice” - although in many cases there is no alternative, or the alternatives are just as bad if not worse.  

Never mind the Youtube channel with literally millions of views devoted to talking to porno whores and how most of them agree it has been a positive experience for them.
I guess they're fucking liars or delusional because they don't agree with your petty gender politics.
I don't judge them.
Hell some of them are even college educated.
You get ahead however you can.
They're not traitors or cowards so I have no problem with them.

Men and women both not in the sex industry view it as their right to pass judgment on prostitutes, call girls, dominatrices, escorts, and porn stars. Apparently holding any one of these jobs means you have given up your right to be treated as a human being.
And yet the Madonna-Whore Complex is enforced, not just by pornography but by the media. One has only to look advertisements of any medium to realize that sex sells - and not just any sex, but female sexuality. Girls must not actually have sex, yet somehow be an expert on the subject in the bedroom. They must appear moral and innocent, yet have a kinky wild side.

Let me be the first to say: I don't give a shit what you do or think. Just shut up about it.

"Dead Island: Riptide is the sequel to Dead Island, the survival horror video game that has players stranded on a tropical island with a zombie outbreak. To promote the game, publishers Deep Silver are offering a special “Zombie Bait Edition” which includes the console game, artwork, a weapons pack, and a statue of a woman’s bikini-clad torso with her head and arms chopped off. And so help me god, they’re comparing it to the Venus de Milo. The graphic image is after the jump [at the source] and probably NSFW.

Zombies don't care about your feminism m8.

Why Are There No Women In Tolkien's World?  

Uhh.

I did not read The Hobbit or the The Lord of the Rings trilogy as a child, and I have always felt a bit alienated from the fandom surrounding them. Now I think I know why: Tolkien seems to have wiped women off the face of Middle-earth.

Uhh.
I do like how you say you haven't even read it and yet you're an expert on feminism and The Lord of the Rings.
Here's another important woman character.

I suppose it’s understandable that a story in which the primary activity seems to be chopping off each other’s body parts for no particular reason might be a little heavy on male characters —

>No reason
>prevent the conquering of Middle Earth by the devil
Yeah that's true no reason at all.

although it’s not as though Tolkien had to hew to historical accuracy when he created his fantastical world. The problem is one of biological accuracy. Tolkien’s characters defy the basics of reproduction: dwarf fathers beget dwarf sons, hobbit uncles pass rings down to hobbit nephews. If there are any mothers or daughters, aunts or nieces, they make no appearances.

Except Galadriel whose lineage the book spends a protracted amount of time describing.
She gives up her immortality when Gil-Galad dies?
It's kind of a pivotal moment in the story.
Your knowledge of this story really is breathtaking, though. I see you spent a lot of time studying this and didn't just say "I don't like it because muh sogyny."

Trolls and orcs especially seem to rely on asexual reproduction, breeding whole male populations, which of course come in handy when amassing an army to attack the dwarves and elves.

Trolls are, as I recall, depicted as reproducing through unknown means and possibly just split like amoebas.
Orc women are depicted as sex slaves and that's a large part of the reason Orcs are deemed evil and misguided.
Really you're on the same side if you'd stop being unreasonable for two seconds.
I found three women in a cast that is quite large but has relatively few major characters and all of them are fairly big players.
What the fuck more do you want?

Named /= significant character. In the movies, there's really only Eowyn, Arwen, and Galadriel. The only other one I can think of offhand is Goldberry. 

>Only three
>Number of important male protagonist (because if a woman had been evil they'd be crying harder so we won't count that): nine
3:1 ratio don't bitch.

Also it's one thing to name a female character and say she's important to the world. If they are never given lines to speak, it's hardly worth mentioniong. Also, tt's another thing to include 15 main characters in the Hobbit (13 dwarves, a hobbit and the wizard, basically) and 10 or so in the LOTR and NONE of them are female. That lack is keenly felt as a young female reader, let me tell you.

Apparently you haven't read it either because we just named 3.
KEEP UP WITH THE CONVERSATION.
That's it women aren't allowed to read books.
I am banishing you all to illiteracy and bare feet.
Deal with it.

Saudi Arabia implements electronic tracking system for women   

You say primitive barbarians I say forward thinkers.

21 THINGS TO STOP SAYING UNLESS YOU HATE FAT PEOPLE

I hate everyone.
Part of everyone is fat people.

1. Stating a specific size, shape, or weight that’s less okay.

Example: “Women who are a little bigger are more attractive, but 400 pounds? No.”

Example: ”It’s okay to be plus-size as long as you don’t have fat rolls.”

Nope.
A woman over 105 pounds is not a woman for me.
Can't possibly be under 105 because you're 6'0"?
Keep walking.

Fat acceptance is for all fat people. If you draw a line – 400 lbs, 500 lbs, “apple”-shaped, people with mobility issues, etc – and say that people on one side of the line are okay and people on the other side aren’t, you are part of the problem.

The line is drawn at over 5'3" and over 105.
Deal with it.

18. Focusing on (usually heterosexual) attractiveness in general.

Example: “At least being bigger means you have bigger boobs, too!”

Example: “It’s okay, honey, men like women with a few curves.”

Not me.
I have two words:
"fuck"
and "off".
Welcome to why I was popular in pussy sensitivity.

At a recent presentation, I asked all of the gay male students in the room to raise their hand if in the past week they touched a woman’s body without her consent. After a moment of hesitation, all of the hands of the gay men in the room went up. I then asked the same gay men to raise their hand if in the past week they offered a woman unsolicited advice about how to “improve” her body or her fashion. Once again, after a moment of hesitation, all of the hands in the room went up.

HOMOSEXUALS.

First there was the "Bic for Her" pen. Then there was the Fujitsu "Floral Kiss" lady-computer (complete with a built-in scrapbooking app and bedazzled keyboard!).

Honda just took things to the next level by producing the Honda Fit "She's" — a pink car made specifically for women that's marketed as "adult cute."


The $17,500 car, currently only being sold in Japan, has loads of lady-friendly features. 

Japan.
A nation with sense.

Apart from pink aesthetics and a dainty heart to replace the apostrophe in "She's," design features include: A windshield that helps prevent wrinkles, and a "plasmacluster" air conditioning system that Honda says will improve skin quality.

If you don't like the pink tone, don't worry. A Honda executive told Yomuri Shinbun newspaper that it's also in brown and white, to match the driver's eyeshadow.

10/10.
Would laugh again.
What's wrong with wanting a car that matches your eyeshadow?
That might be important to Japanese women.
An article on how awesome Dredd was (even feminists agree!)--
Ehh I think I'm done here.
I certainly don't miss Livejournal.

;

From my heart and from my hand
why don't people understand
my intention?
Weird science

I've talked about my dark nature before, or if I haven't, I've always been meaning to.

I have a lot of hurtful and angry thoughts in my head, for some reason. 

Harness them.

And they always seem to reappear at random times during the day, as if I have some mood disorder or something. I don't, but it does seem like that (not to mention that it does run in my family). The randomness is baffling; sometimes I have a near-constant rage that lasts for weeks, and other times months will go by where I'm barely like that at all.

SCION OF THE BLOOD GOD.

For the longest time, I've wondered why I hate so many things, and why I'm almost addicted to these thoughts. And then yesterday, it hit me: I'm the kind of person that thrives off of negative energy. I get some sort of high from not only the suffering of others, but also from myself.

LET THE GALAXY BURN
sorry what's happening?
Lots of emo whining and I'm turning into a Chaos Lord over here.

I don't know if that makes me a bad person by default. I don't particularly want to hurt people; I just think about it a lot. I guess being dark is really from your thoughts and emotional dynamics alone.

EMBRACE CHAOS.

I applied to two jobs today; one at Hastings and one at Winco.

Oh yeah prepare fr semicolons like a motherfucker.
None of them used properly, of course.

Not much to do recently. I am going to meet a professor to talk about philosophy, though. He works at the Christian college on main street, so that might be interesting.

Is this going to be one of those blogs where you feel all dark and edgy but it might anger God?
Also you whine about your lack of employment?
I've already read you whinging about that so I know that's coming.
Look motherfucker, Percy Bysshe Shelley (husband of Mary Shelley, author of Frankenstein) has the right of it:

If he is infinitely good, what reason should we have to fear him? If he is infinitely wise, what doubts should we have concerning our future? If he knows all, why warn him of our needs and fatigue him with our prayers? If he is everywhere, why erect temples to him? If he is just, why fear that he will punish the creatures that he has filled with weaknesses? If he is inconceivable, why occupy ourselves with him? ... And if he has spoken, why is the world not convinced?

So don't think about shit plz.
I call that quote the "Catechism of the Doubtful" incidentally.
I'm sure it has a name but whatever.

I was alcohol-free the last night, as well. Although I did decide to have a cigar. I only smoke those occasionally. It was pleasant until I got about three-quarters of it down; after that, I was very agitated and stimulated. I like the calm it provides, though. I've noticed that when I get drunk, all I do is listen to music and play computer games. When I smoke, I actually listen to good music and I feel like writing. I've written while drunk before; I get mixed results from that.

That's funny even when I don't drink that's about all I do.
Weird.

 I sent some philosophy papers to a person I met at a church last Sunday. Hopefully he will like them. I currently read and write philosophy; I showed my therapist the paper I wrote yesterday and she was impressed.

Therapist has to be impressed. If she says it sucks you'll kill yourself and she goes to prison.
You need a unbiased audience.
Like me.
I just assume everything is shit until it can prove otherwise.
Oh wow here's a "what kind of Dungeons and Dragons character are you?" quiz.
The burning question in my mind. Let's see--

True Neutral Elf Sorcerer/Rogue (2nd/1st Level)


Ability Scores:
Strength- 13
Dexterity- 12
Constitution- 12
Intelligence- 15
Wisdom- 16
Charisma- 14

Or homosexual, as that's how I'm interpreting this.
Thank you for nothing.
Incidentally 12 is average in D&D and 18 is considered borderline superhuman.
14 is considered a noteworthy score.

I saw my psychiatrist today, and looked at the records from when I was in the psych ward last time. It was very interesting, and more accurate than I thought it would be. I told her that the Olanzapine was effective so we decided that I would stay on it.

CCCCCCCCRAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZYYYYY.
I woke up at 4 am today.

I think it is because I drink too much beer, but I could be wrong about that. I'm definitely going to start cutting down on that, though. I also had some Blue Stilton before I went to bed, in order to have a lucid dream.
>Psych ward
>alcoholic
>let me try lucid dreaming
no that's bound to go well.

Feeling slightly uneasy right now; I almost got T-Boned by an Asian driver today. Figures. 

As Monday can attest Asian bitches are crazy.
Run a check.

I had more than a few beers (PBR) last night to cure myself of the anxiety; it worked, but I ended up saying some crazy shit to my roommate. He eventually asked if this was the way my father talked to me, and I noticed that it was. He noted that I have a lot of unresolved issues. I don't blame him.

I'm going to stop drinking again; it doesn't work in the long term. And I'll get internet again at the apartment, too.

Literally the fifteenth time she's said "I'm going to stop drinking."
I don't think it's working.

God, fuck my life.

In the late afternoon yesterday I took a Sudafed, thinking that it would help my headache and eyes. Turns out, it didn't; it just made me all shaky, scatterbrained, paranoid and anxious.

Yeah the Sudafed is to blame.
Clearly.
This is a man, incidentally.
I was kind of thinking that but I didn't want to commit.

Well, I haven't posted in a long time.

Don't feel too bad, Dreamwidth. I don't even care about Livejournal anymore.

Looking back on my previous posts, both here and on Livejournal, I can't help but to feel like a faggot. It is totally all my fault, though.

Well--
at least you know.
I feel like this is the first time this has ever happened.
We can probably pack it up, honestly.
If there is a theme to this blog it would be "you're a faggot and it's 100% your fault."
So thanks I guess?

I feel as if I have reached nirvana.

I don't desire anything. I don't aspire to anything. I don't need anything to happen. I simply need to exist, and I am fine.

So what's with all the fucking whining?
Also that's not really the definition of Nirvana so whatever bro.

I've also been playing PSO again; very fun and nostalgic.

Hey man.
He likes Phantasy Star Online and realized he was a faggot and it's his fault.
How bad can he be?

I had a nice dinner with my brother yesterday (that he made himself) and he was telling me a lot of things about SSI that I actually agreed with. He sees SSI as being an appropriate short-term solution but that I need to do something else for the long term, and he believes that it is getting a PhD, and not writing. 

You're not meant to write and I can tell you why in the very next post.

I think that I've finally come to an answer, though. With the help of my sister, I've realized that I need to be on SSI, instead of working a standard job. I simply don't have the energy or constitution for a standard 9-to-5; I get too tired and such a job would suck the very life out of me. If I had to do it, there would be nothing left of me; no passions, no interests, essentially no life.

You have to be in the shit to be a writer.
Can't take the easy way out.
You have to get a will of iron first and then you can write.
I did it.
I went to a hood school to student teach
it fucking sucked
then I put salad on a shelf for a year and it fucking sucked
now I'm a substitute teacher. Is it good?
I can't say because my main reference point is the proverbial nightmare the last two things were.
And with all that shit even I'm not yet ready to be the greatest living author.
It takes a lot of shit, man.

I've been proofreading some more of my writing, and that is really it. Not really doing much else, don't have the mental energy or interest.

 Well with that no job to work and free money from the government I can see why you'd be taxed.
You do realize willpower is a skill you have to cultivate, right?
I didn't just get here by nature. I had to come home from my shitty internship and say "oh it's Wednesday guess I should update this mess" and I'd fucking do it because I'm hardcore.
I missed days, sure, but I updated usually.

I'm just so tired. I've tried as hard as I can, and nothing has ever worked out to the point where life is actually worth living. This just makes me so embittered. I don't even desire or need that much, and yet I'm actively denied some of the very basic things needed to be successful in life. They say that it is because I'm disabled, and perhaps I may be, but I really think it is because I'm discriminated against. But again, there is no way to prove it, and there is also no way that the SSI people are going to care about that, so if I don't get on SSI, I'm going to be fucking stuck doing shit part-time jobs for the rest of my life when I have the intelligence to do things that are far greater than that, and yet can't due to other people's bigotry.

If you're a white man you're fine.
You're keeping you down.
That's exactly why you didn't get it: "I don't need it that much."
Even if you don't and know it act like your life hinges on you doing that.
I had a job interview recently and I barely missed getting the job over someone else.
Did I want the job?
If I adopt your attitude no.
Working sucks and I'd rather play video games all day but the way forward was to get that job and I didn't get it.
I'm pissed but what can you do
BALLS OUT AND TRY AGAIN.
Unlike you I know the path to glory is treacherous and miserable at first.

I just don't understand it. Very little is wrong with me outside of having a different personality, I mean I can do the jobs just fine. But people get offended by that for some reason.

That's a problem, dipshit. Half of the game is fitting in.
Why the fuck do you think you can write if you can't even understand how these plebeians work?

If society is going to do this to me, then they deserve to have me leech off of them by being on SSI. I'm just really fucking angry right now.

Yeah you're welcome.
Asshole.

I'm working on my writing a bit more. I use 750words.com for it, and it is actually a really good tool to use. It gives you statistics and overall word count and everything. Apparently, my writing is usually past-oriented. Also when I write sex scenes, the highest rating I've ever gotten is PG-13.

Har needing tools to gauge your writing.

I'm pretty sure that I've reached that point.

I now am fully aware that I really am disabled, and that I can barely function. I don't have the focus or the energy to do the things that are necessary for me to thrive like anyone else. I wish that I did, but I do not. I have a broken brain that gets in the way of me functioning normally. Because of all this, I cannot have a full-time job and make enough money for myself. I cannot survive on my own.

I feel like a tard. An invalid. A parasite who can't hold his own. I need assistance, and that is really hard to accept, especially since very little is wrong with me intellectually. I just am sick and tired of busting my ass and really not even making it on my own in life; I know that if I don't get help, I will wear out, sooner or later.

I just want to retire, and accept myself for my flaws. The problem is that I don't know what to do with my life anymore, outside of writing. I don't know if I can achieve the important things that others can achieve. I wish that I didn't have the desire; I'm starting not to due to gradual apathy. I need to be constructive, but what can I possibly do? Maybe being on disability would be a nirvana of sorts.

I'm just in too much pain, and I want it to end. I struggle every day with the fear that I may never be able to survive in the long run; I live from paycheck to paycheck and my life is practically hanging on a thread. I need security, and I need a better life. And that is only going to come from either a full-time job or disability. It seems that only the latter is possible for me.

I just don't know how to cope.

Welcome to life, whiner.
Seriously who hasn't thought or felt this shit?
I feel this shit all the time and I'm basically a beneficent, Christ-like figure.

Yesterday, someone online called me crazy. That person wasn't the first, and probably won't be the last.

It was probably me somehow.
Oh shit it keeps happening.
Walked away for 7 hours.
Fuuuuuck.

A guide on how to get reck'd

Waiting for a phone call that probably isn't coming--
waitin'.
Time to kill time: only way I know how to do that is to get fucking angry at strangers on the internet.
Today we're getting a rock solid lesson in "holy shit bro what the fuck are you doing?"
This blog might be really boring because I only read like two sentences in it before I knew this is what was happening today.
Those might be the only two sentences in the entire blog worth commenting on but we'll see.

So yes, some have asked me about how to impress a Chinese girl or Asian girls in general. How?

By being white, not a complete mutant and over 5'4".
Sorry bro you're going to be forever perceived as the man who failed with white wahms instead of the wise man we both know you are.
Excuse me for going after the women classically known for not nagging you to death.
Clearly my standards are the low ones.
Retards.

By trying to learn some Tang poems. Why? In this dynasty, there was a famous poet named Li Bai, who wrote many poems about how a man should treat a woman, and he should behave around her.

Holy shit bro
what the fuck are you doing?
God I can just imagine this class.
I remember this class.
I felt embarrassed for the guy.
Then I leaned over to the girl and said "look at this asshole" and she laughed.
Yeah that's right. Thanks for setting up a perfect situation to hit on a chick that I didn't monopolize on.

He critisized "rape, possessivity and jealousy" in relationships between a man and a woman. He got very disappointed by his fellow males' behavior around females (for example, badmouthing the Woman's country and relatives and saying, rude, sexual things when complimenting her and not being honest when doing so).


So here's how to be a real "gentleman" in China and to make her see you as a man in my culture: 

Harr getting a lesson from some mutant on the internet in not being a mutant

In Chinese Mandarin, the poem would be thus :

Chuan qiang ming yue guan,
Ye lai feng yu sheng.
Hua Luo zhi duo shao. 

Thanks for noting the tones, asshole. This is as unintelligible to me as it is to a Chinese person.

Recipe 176 : Why Asian Men "cannot" date White Women

Why would they want to, exactly?
I call those guys (all both times I've seen them) "dark wise men" or "bizarro wise men".
I'm sure that's the thing to do in whatever dimension they're originally from.
Don't judge them just because they're interdimensional travelers you fuck.
Look at how they adopted our customs by not wearing shoes on your hands.

Whom are gorgeous and stunning if you ask me here (E.G Jennifer Aniston, Liv Tyler, Kate Blanchet, Princess Diana from England, Tiger Woods' ex-wife). I'll be unveiling the reasons why in a few. 

Wow bro.
Wow.
I'm going to tell you the theme song of today's update.
Just put this on in the background and I think you'll see where I'm coming from pretty much always.

1. His Mother has "absolute power" over him in China, so she decides everything for him. So if any "White Vixen" or "Blond whore" is trying "to steal/take her flesh and blood away from her", she'll resist, mark my words, like any Mother would. I'm sorry to offend anyone, but that's the way White Ladies are "called" in my native dialect. 

Is that true?
I sort of believe it.

2. So to get his parents' "yes you may/can be our daughter-in-law", the White girlfriend must first try to get his mother's affections or to "earn her trust" by giving her gifts, showing her attention (like in some Asian dramas). Or she could try to give her a massage and etc. And the White girlfriend must try to convince his mum to "let" her be his girfriend and then wife.  

"Or she could try to give her a massage."
You sure this was a drama and not a porno?

3. White women are perceived as "dirty" and loving "free relationships" too much in the Mainland. By that, I mean "no strings' attached" or "on-and-off" relationships in modern English. Now I think some White women do truly love (or are really in love with) their Asian boyfriends, having seen some such couples in my life. So some Chinese mothers (with a traditional mind) would see the White girlfriend as a "threat in her family trying to tempt her son with her evil, seductive ways and trying to break her family up". Again, "no sex before marriage" in some Asian parents' minds, particularly the Mainlanders. In short, White females=demons, harpies and witches in the Chinese, Japanese and Korean cultures... which I myself don't think it's true by the way here. 

"White women are harpies"
Mainland Chinese wisdom or this blog's wisdom?

4. So for the Asian (and mostly the Han) male, the White female is the Forbidden Fruit, the bad influence or how to say it : the guilty pleasure. And he'd be "breaking traditions" by taking a White wife or by being engaged to a White woman in some Asian societies. For example, Mainland China. His own people would be asking him : "Where's your Asian wife"? Or telling him to "go back to your Asian wife". 

We're still left with an important bullet that isn't covered:
Why would he want this setup in the first place?

To conclude my article here, some tips from me to some White wives or girlfriends in this predicament : do not try (or refrain from doing so) to convert him to Christianism or some Western religions. And please avoid "badmouthing" China or saying China's communist and Satanist or the Chinese gvnt's "wrong". And again, do not talk about his looks so openly in her house. And some Asians (Hans mainly) are very "sheltered" boys indeed and their Mums would try to "protect" them by interfering in their lovelife or sexlife. 

"Christianism"
come on m8
check it.
Also thanks for the advice, I guess. If you're a Chinese man and any of this is true you sound pretty fucked.
"Mama won't allow it so just date an Asian girl" is how this all translates to me.
I don't even believe this is true. This guy is full of shit.
He just seems full of shit.

Recipe 175 : Why Westerners are off-limit to Han Women?

They're not.
God the internet.

Especially living in Mainland China, why indeed? 1stly, China's many Western countries's number 1 enemy currently, politically, economically and religiously speaking.

Ignoring that's not even a coherent thought how in the fuck is the West China's main economic enemy?
Quick Google search of China's #1 trading partner:
WOW WHAT DO YOU KNOW IT'S THE US.

So saying things like "Free Tibet, Free Mongolia" in China definitely won't help (would even get you ennemies) as Hans are extremely patriotic. So if you as a Westerner go there and say these things on the streets or in downtown Bei Jing(as it's a very sensitive and hot topic on Bei Jing news and etc), you won't have a chance with a Han girl. 

If I'm in China why in the fuck am I whinging about shit I don't care about?
"FREE TIBET" is a sure way to get in some girl's pants.
I bet that wouldn't even work at some pussy sensitivity rally here.
Get your act together.

And in conclusion here today, I'd like to ask European males a question, why such obsession with and such attraction to Han Chinese women? Are there not enough beautiful women in the West too? Why not pick one of your own Women as a lifemate/companion? 

Brother
I'm cutting you some slack because you're actually Chinese as it turns out
but seriously get reck'd.

And also, best solution to this problem, according to me : marry within your own race/ethnicity! Otherwise, too much complications. On these thoughts, nice dreams and have a nice week-end! 

Where did you go so horribly wrong?

How do we (the Chinese) look at the Koreans or feel about the Japanese?


Well, first off, raw historical facts : Japan invaded Korea and China. China aided the Koreans for a decade or so. It's much like the Israel-Palestine issue in the Middle-East. 

Genghis Khan also tried (and failed) to invade Japan.
He didn't try that hard though.
I think he'd have succeeded if he hadn't said "well never mind then."

I know I may or might sound strange or weird, but yeah... my family doesn't care all that much about what the Japanese did to the Chinese during WWII. Of course, my grandparents do... but my dad/mum would buy me sushi and Japanese tea even because I like it. And I told them to not be racist against them (the Japanese). My parents never taught me to hate them. So I'm a Chinese girl, but a Japanophile.

This is a girl?
Wow ok.
Didn't see that one coming--
She can still get reck'd though.
So I'm now interpreting that earlier advice of "learning some poem from the dark age" as ways to get into her pants.

So yeah many wondered about this and have asked me questions about it... why are social appearances and honor important in China? Why do they matter so much in a Chinese girl's eyes? Well... it's related to "loosing and saving face" in my earlier post. E.G some girls would buy "brand items" just for "keeping up her own appearance and saving her honour before others". This could/may be looked upon/on as a new form of "superficiality and/or materialism" in the modern Chinese society.

This isn't nearly as interesting as the advice I got from a Korean girl:
"if you want to marry a Korean girl you have to beat her father at Starcraft first."
So if anything I'll say just going off the last two days of interaction with Asian women Korean girls aren't quite as heavy duty as all this.
Although considering Starcraft is a national sport there part of me wonders if she wasn't serious.
Maybe putting all my eggs in the Warhammer basket was a mistake.

Recipe 156 : How to date an Asian girl

Finally some practical advice from one of these fucking things.
How long have I been waiting?
Like four years or something?

1. Always try to see : what's good for her and not for you (as a guy/male) only and "What's in it for her"? And "What are you (the male or guy) to her"? Please don't be male-centered when "being with or dating one". And always be on-time when having rdzs/dates with her... She'd (the Chinese girl) hate you for being late. And course, this might/may change as your relationship goes on but yeah. Do not piss her off by "being late on your first date".

Oh thanks.
Never would have guessed being on time was important.
False alarm people.

Interestingly enough, Chinese girls "adored" a "family or home-Goddess" 'round the 3 kingdom's dynasty (3 k years ago in our history), much like the Greek deity Hestia.

Yeah definitely false alarm.
I know for a fact this deity (and Hestia) aren't this fucking crazy.
I think you're confusing what you think the gods tell you to do for your own mental instability.
Leave it to me to skip over all the blogs that are Asian girls just talking about usual shit and go right for the crazy.
Also don't presume to tell me how to live honorably. I use Zeus as a pattern for my conduct. I know what it is to be honorable more than any man alive.

7. My friendly advice : absolutely do not kiss her while meeting her parents, you (as her Western bf) would be an embarrassment to her and her whole family. How will she marry you later on?

This one bit of advice comes up like 87,000 times. The impression I'm getting is this is the key to dating Asian women.
Yeah I know Asian countries aren't big on the public displays of affection.
I'm cool with it.
Whatever.

In Chinese, eumphemisms are intoned in the voice or used in oral Chinese. For example, telling your Chinese sweetheart "I want to sleep with you" would sound too crude in her ears, the euphemism I'd use here would be : "let's make flowers.", which would mean something similar to or along the lines of: "let's make love/have baby flowers" in English. 

I'm going to have to go to "dating Chinese women" summer camp, that's it.
Does this come with a workbook or something?
Also I've met Chinese women. They're not this particular.

It's highly complimentary to her also when you call her "My Mei Zi",

I can't pronounce "Zi".
It's not like "zee" it's like some noise no human can make.
ZRRRRRRRRERRR.
ZUUUUUURRRRRRRRREEEEERRRRRR.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZI.
That's it I can't date Chinese women.
I can't even swing basic terms of endearment.
But I can school a motherfucker in an RTS so I'm feeling good about Korean women still.

because you're comparing her to the flower's seed firstly and then her sweetness to the "Queen of Flowers" in China. That's the whole symbolism/meaning 'hind our Mei Hua.

You'll need to :

1. Get some Mei Hua petals and some Asian prune Honey (could make the Honey yourself or buy it at some Asian supermarkets). 

I know it probably seems very insulting to question someone about their own culture but I seriously don't believe any of this is actually applied today.
This seems like turn of (last) century shit.
I'm going to cross check this later.

Let's make on today's recipe : the Elixir from Heavens. 

Isn't that the thing Sun Wukong steals in Journey to the West and gets damned to 10,000 years of cleaning the heavenly stables?
I knew this woman was trouble.

1. You may/can use some dried fruits like Chinese prunes, lichees, some mandarins, or Gui Yuans, which are the rarest ever planted in China and very yummy to have or drink in a can.

2. Peel them, get their seeds out and put th' into a glass and crush those into a machine, to extract the juice out of it. Serve it cooled to guests or yourself when feeling mouth-watering.

The Gui Yuans were concubine Yang's favourite in the Tang dynasty's. This caused the Kingdom to fall into Darkness and crumble because when the Tang Emperor learnt she's lik'd them, to keep her happy and all smiling in his Palace, he's gotten her so many on their Lovers' day that he's left none for the' poor at all. What's your feelings and thoughts about this recipe? Wouldn't you like to try this? 

A drink so hardcore it made an entire empire fall into a dark age.
Fucking
what?

I'd like to teach you all or everyone how to use some idiomatical expressions in a Chinese sentence/phrase, and how to court and woo a distinguished Lady in China.

So far your steps to dating a distinguished lady involve way more cooking than I'm comfortable with.

How to ask her out : you should just read her some Shakespearean verses and poetry and then take her out to a tea pleace, English tea is preferred there because it's "in" and fashionable in my Country.

Now I know you're bullshitting. There's no way Shakespeare is part of your dating rituals.
He wasn't alive until the late 1500s and so far all of your dating rituals are circa the Roman Empire.
How about I just quote her something from the 6th edition Warhammer rulebook?
"We are judged in life by the evil we destroy."
"Call no man free until he is dead."
"Such is the price of failure."
"My armor is contempt. My shield is faith. My sword is hate. In the Emperor's name, let none survive."
If that doesn't get a bitch going then she's no bitch of mine.

A way to flirt with or win an English young lad's hand/feelings: "you're my knight in shiny armor or you've a Sailor's soul=you've a brave man or a Lion's heart/soul to me."

Okay I know English people.
I suspected before you were full of shit but I didn't want to say too much because you're (apparently) actually Chinese but now I know you're a bullshitter.
If you said that to an English girl she'd (quite rightly) laugh at you until you stopped being such a pud.
You have the soul of a lion?
Are you trying to pick up a British chick or are you trying to date an anime character/furry?
Thine soul is of gilden nature
let none wrest it from thee
I mean are you fucking kidding?

Here's how to confess your love to an Arabic girl in China: "M'Lady, May I unveil thine Moonlit Crescents, so they might be reflected in my eyes forever..." May = could or let=asking permission in Chinese/Arabic. 

Here's how you actually propose to a girl:
"hey baby wanna get married?"
I'll admit it's less poetic but on the other hand she probably won't laugh at you for the suggestion.
I'm changing the title to this blog. Originally it was "HOLY SHIT BRO" but I'm changing it to "a guide on how to get reck'd"
How to date Asian women:
write her circa-13th century inspired sonnets
how to date a British chick:
write her circa-13th century inspired sonnets
how to date an American chick:
no one knows because they're harpies.
I've never seen a blog less informed about women than mine.
And this one was written by a fucking wahm.
I'm honestly at a loss for words at the moment.

I’ve tasted the Nectar of Aphrodite as some would say…

That'd be honey.
Don't worry people I've come fully equipped for this blog.
I've read literally all of the same bronze age mythology she has.
And while I've distilled the wisdom of the ancients into the world's greatest creed she seems to be struggling with what to call honey.
The trick I find is take all the superstition and use it metaphorically.
You should pay attention to ancient people when they're being pragmatic because when ancient people were pragmatic it meant shit was getting real.
The more real to life your personal philosophy seems the more people will disagree with it and the more hardcore it seems.
So the cooler your own words sound and the more horrified the people around you get the closer to the truth you are.
Basically if you're not bullshitting here's what being a human with thoughts is like.
Oh man.
Made it to the start of this shit.
Man that was really bizarre.
Well I hope we all learned a lot.
About stuff and things.
And shit.
Fuck.

Fack

Furry and a brony--
what else is new with reality--

Honeycomb! No, not the place where rabbits meet under Watership Down: I mean honeycomb ice cream. I do like the flavour, but (as you'd expect) it's very sweet and so I try to limit myself. This was the first time I'd eaten it this year, and given that it was another hot day (29.4 °C) I think an ice cream was a virtual necessity in any case. It's supposed to be cooler (though by no means cold) and cloudier this weekend, then really hot and sticky for a couple of days next week before a possibly quite thundery breakdown. I'm not a storm fan; I'd much rather have a quiet return to average temperatures. Oh well.

A virtual necessity.
Or you could not be a puss.
Also you don't like warm weather and thunderstorms?
What the fuck is wrong with you, friend?

Aren't we a barrel of laughs in this country? After years of complaining that our summers have become cold and wet, all of a sudden we have a genuine summery spell... and we're complaining that it's too hot. =:P

Getting people in the UK to not bitch about the weather is much like stemming the tide so--

I had a good day out today, and one which included ice cream, but I'm just too tired to write much about it now. More to come on this tomorrow, though!

Thanks for that fucking waste of time.
I DID STUFF BUT TOO TIRED TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT
so don't update.

I went to another brony meet today, this one in Birmingham. This one was a bit of a step up in terms of size and length: we were in double figures and were together pretty much all afternoon. I had a very good time, and was much less nervous than I'd expected to be. I'm very pleased to see on UK of Equestria that other people did as well. A sequel seems to be in the works already, maybe at the end of the summer after BUCK. If there is one, and there's no reason for me not to go, then I will go. =:)

Lol ponyfucker

So we then sat around chatting about this and that, quite a lot of pony-related stuff (Twilicorn, Equestria Girls, prospects for Season 4 etc) but also quite a lot of other things. It was a very convivial couple of hours, actually, even once I'd finished my cider. (Well of course I had cider: what else would one drink at a brony meet-up?) 

Semen.
Semen is what one would drink at a brony meet up.

So... a very enjoyable day all in all: good company, nothing that seemed to annoy/embarrass the non-bronies around the place, some very silly in-jokes created and not too much rain. Oh, and my first ever brohoofs (brohooves?) which somehow made it all feel that much more special. I'm still amazed that I, of all people, enjoyed a day-long social event so much, but I've never been happier to be amazed!

Bronies are such douche bags.

The dreaded (by some) Equestria Girls movie came out yesterday. I haven't seen it, because it's not appearing in the cinema outside North America. However, I have seen some dodgy cam footage of a few of the songs and the last 13 minutes of the film itself. (The songs are still up on YouTube; the ending doesn't seem to be.) As you can tell, I don't care about spoilers for this film -- by the time the DVD is available, I'll know everything anyway -- but I won't ruin it for anyone else. So, the rest of this, including the reason for my choice of subject line, is under a cut.

There was brief talk of attending this movie in my circle just to see the mutants that also went but then we realized that would mean going to a My Little Pony movie.
I think we settled for walking by the theater it's playing in.

The songs... well, with one very catchy exception (the song used in the second trailer) I can't remember any of them now. They're pretty much generic tween pop. Tastes differ, but personally I love the musical-style numbers Daniel Ingram creates for FiM, and this doesn't come close.

No shit?
Tween pop in a movie intended for little girls?
Color me fucking surprised.
That's like being disappointed a Warhammer video has mostly synthetic Gothic chanting for a soundtrack. What the fuck did you expect?

Oh, and there's the high school stuff. I hate high school cartoons on the whole, and I don't like magical girls anime either. The little romantic scenes with Flash Sentry were presumably put in because that's what tweens expect, and I could more or less cope with them in the humanised world. But at the end, when pony Twilight was being teased about having a crush on Flash? Urgh, no thank you. The only acceptable crush in Equestria is Spike's on Rarity!

I wonder if there's any point in a brony's thought process where he looks back over what he is entering into the public record for all of eternity and thinks "goddamn I'm a fucking dork".
I'm guessing not because if there was that sort of filter he wouldn't be a brony in the first place.

Well, I suppose that's another social achievement unlocked: I can now talk about the pony meets I've been to. =:P Last time around there were three of us in Worcester; this time it was six! Pigasus (the organiser), Electrokitty and I from last time all attended again, and we were joined by eliki, Spring Wonder and Crimson Dawn. The vagaries of the railway timetable meant that people arrived and departed at different times, so for quite a proportion of the meet there were actually fewer than six of us, but we did have some time when we were all seated around the same table at the same time, so it counts!

Is that really an achievement, though?
Sitting around with five other mutants?

When Eliki and I got to the pub, Electrokitty was already there. Pigasus followed shortly thereafter, then Spring Wonder. The five of us were all fairly quiet types, but thankfully no-one seemed to hate anyone else on sight. Crimson was the last to arrive, but he was also by a long way the most confident. I don't think any of the rest of us would have quite had the nerve to plonk a sizable plush pony on the end of the pub table as he did! The whole meet lasted two or three hours, considerably longer than last time, so I think we did all right.

What the fuck

We've been having a very interesting discussion over on UK of Equestria about where we see the My Little Pony (specifically the Friendship is Magic) fandom being in ten years' time. One thing that's come out of the conversation has been that several contributors felt that we'd already passed the peak.

Hopefully in 10 years' time everyone will have forgotten this shame.
Oh shit I kinda got a migraine so I wandered off for 12 hours.
What is this?
What am I doing?
Help

SOUNDS LIKE MY KIND OF BLOG

"DISGRUNTLED GIRL".

Watch out, disgruntled white wahm!

Describes every blog ever pretty much except "gender confused lad (or gal)" and "boring guy".
Blah blah "people hate him" blah blah "wear a vest" blah blah...

"I don't think he can work. I don't think anyone can hire him... George is a pariah," his lawyer said.


So .. an armed outcast. That always ends well. 

Should have sentenced him to death, then.

A man with a gun and a sel-appointment to "the neighbordhood watch" gets out of his car when he's told not to to confront a younger man when he was told not to and kills the unarmed man with a gun.


6 women found this guy "Not Guilty".


Question: What is this going to be distracting us from?

6 WOMEN.
Also what is this distracting us from?
OH GEE I DON'T KNOW
MAYBE THAT WHOLE SNOWDEN THING?

I've been sitting around with this vague discontent. Really vague. It's like wanting to eat but not sure what and not being hungry in the first place and then wondering if you actually are hungry and are simply not paying attention or blocking it. 

Sure glad I picked this blog. Scrolling like a motherfucker already.
I'm here at work and the fucking thing won't open. I kinda need that.

There is no tech support for us on the weekend and during the week - they tell us to have our supervisor call in a ticket.

While I can get to the inbox if I need to, I need to get to the databases. This happened before during effing Xmas.
Sigh I've been trying for over 20 minutes. It's just sitting there saying "Loading". Earlier it .. simply closed after a bit and I had to kill the processes.
Sheesh.

WOMAN WORKING
BETTER FIX HER COMPUTER STAT
What irrelevant bullshit do you do, anyway?

A new trend among Japanese teenagers called oculolinctus, also known as "eyeball licking," or "worming," is currently sweeping across the internet in videos and photos

Oh.

The Japanese.


Again.

CHECK YOUR
FUCKING PRIVILEGE.
Shouldn't she, though?
Like imagine I said
"Oh.
The African Americans.
Again."
Imagine the fallout from the literally fives of people that read this.

Sunday we watched Battleship, which - Avery & Ricardo: you suck for recommending this. Some said the Science was suspect, others said the story was suspect. The whole thing blew monkey chunks. The lead was simply not someone you can like. Rhianna was a Marine. No wait, she's Navy. No wait - Marines. Hang on, she's a WySO. No wait - she's a heavy gunner. Ok she is an assault .. I give up. They just smeared her all over the screen and yet gave her very very few lines. She was pretty good, though.
When you give command of a US naval ship over to the Japanese - isn't that technically surrendering?

I know I spent half of last post lambasting a movie about giant CGI robots but are you seriously finding fault in the movie based on a board game?
Like what the fuck did you think would happen?

From this article:
New York Magazine’s The Cut coined the term “Netflix Adultery,” the act of binge-watching TV episodes ahead of your significant other when you promised them you’d watch together. Have you been a victim of this horrendous crime? According to Netflix’s survey of 2000 American adults, “12 percent confessed to watching ahead on TV shows they were supposed to save to watch with their partners. ” Also, “ten percent admitted to being the victim of Netflix adultery, which means either 2 percent are blissfully unaware of their partners’ indiscretions, or the cheaters are hitting multiple victims.”

HOLY SHIT.
No wonder divorce rates are 50%!
Also what kind of slob can't wait for their chick to get ready to watch it?
Isn't that a thing couples do?
Watch crap together?
And make a big deal out of it?
Or am I crazy?

........ talk about a mountain out of a molehill. I'm certain this is light hearted, but I have heard of people getting honestly upset and hurt by this. Something about "lack of commitment" or "the principle of the matter"..
How about maybe you don't shut up during a show (blurting what you think is about to happen out loud, cracking a joke and turning to get acknowledgement) and they want to watch it in peace? Or maybe they are hard of hearing and after have a need to rewatch a show to catch what was missed (cough Hannibal cough). My roommates and I can attest - there be some mumbling on there. 

Holy shit maybe that is why the divorce rate is so high.
Grow up, people.
If I had a girlfriend and we watched TV together (ha ha me watching TV) and I found out she'd watched it ahead of me I'd be pissed she didn't spare me the misery of having to watch TV.

Last night Nikki and I suddenly had a pitched battle with a large roach (where the cats were NO help). No matter how hard Nikki hit it with her shoe, it merely stunned it.

>not skewering it and lighting it on fire
women.

I eventually captured it with a large amount of toilet paper. As I sent it to a watery grave, I heard Nikki exclaim "Oh god there's a baby one."

LET THE PROMETHEUM BURN IT TO A CINDER.

This morning, as Kevin and I were discussing a potential health issue on my part in the bathroom, I saw another giant crawling across the wall; as if sneaking up to drop on Kevin.
So I made the decision today to bugbomb the house instead of buying my prescriptions. 

Infestation.
The only solution is to torch the place and start anew.
Give the hated xenos no succor.
Let come what may.

We have to stay out in the garage and backyard area for the next 2 hours. 4 people, 5 cats and 1 farting pitbull that totally does not prefer the outdoors. We've got 2 fans, a small ac unit and a PS3 that's currently applying updates for the past 4-6 months. I'm on my work laptop, may as well knock out a few things while waiting.

A foe without shelter is without hope.
Here's a video of a pitbull keeping a drawer filled with knives closed from a toddler trying to open it.
It keeps looking at whoever is holding the camera like "please God do something with this kid".
In my infinite wisdom I have decided the pitbull is a better parent and shall be given the child to raise.
Oh God this person is Texan.
That explains it all, really.
Anyway fuck the internet
fuck the police
fuck blogs

Market Research

I've been doing extensive (and I do mean extensive) market research at my target audience for this blog because frankly I don't advertise so I'm kind of curious about how the literally dozens of unique hits per week (recent spike in activity ahoy!) found out about this travesty.
The number one audience, unsurprisingly, is the United States of America. Apparently the bile I spew about 'Murikuh hit a patriotic cord.
Second biggest audience?
France.
No I don't understand it either. I did find a new love for France teaching French class (a school I substitute for frequently seems to be under the mistaken impression I know French and I'm not about to tell them they're wrong) but I'm pretty sure I have called them cowards or surrender monkeys or something on this blog before.
Either way I'm sure my puerile hatred of Europe has found a place in their heart.
The third biggest market is the kicker: China.
My love for Asian women is well known but I somehow doubt that translated. I'm guessing some sort of marketing scheme.
Or maybe my pure hatred for corruption and ineffectual governments has struck a cord of love in the Middle Kingdom.
I can't say.
What I do know is 41% of you are reading this on Internet Explorer. What is wrong with you, friend?
1% of you are on Safari. You can stop reading as far as I'm concerned.
The fourth and fifth biggest markets (Ukraine [what] and Sweden) lag so far behind the three big ones it doesn't bear mentioning.
Anyway I'm just putting off having to review a blog.
I've done some extra homework for once and once I heard George Zimmerman was found not guilty I immediately went to Dreamwidh to find the biggest twat whinging about it and it didn't take long.
This wahm won a spot for Monday's update largely based on two criteria: her infantile whining about George Zimmerman and social justice and in addition her love for the movie Pacific Rim.
I had just seen that piece of shit so that kind of brought my piss to a boil.

What the verdict tells us is, to the astonishment of tens of millions of us, that you can go looking for trouble in Florida, with a gun and a great deal of racial bias, and you can find that trouble, and you can act upon that trouble in a way that leaves a young man dead, and none of it guarantees that you will be convicted of a crime.

I was interested to see how Dreamwidth would handle this.
On one hand booo perceived racism but on the other hand yaaaaay all women jury.
As we all know no one on Dreamwidth can be happy and just not whine so I reckoned early on if he was found guilty it'd be a "hurrah check your privilege white man" but if he'd been found not guilty it'd have been "boo racism :(" either way they get to whine.
I don't care about this trial, frankly. I was interested from a purely sociological standpoint.

This case was pretty open and shut as you can get, ladies and gentlemen whom are not listening to this post in the least. I've seen Black men and women convicted on almost little no evidence for shit that don't even have anything to do with murder and manslaughter, but this motherfucker gets off without so much as a Manslaughter charge for stalking and killing a young man in cold blood because he needed get off on his gun. That and no one thought to charge his ass with it. The verdict doesn't surprise me, but that doesn't mean I can't be fucking angry about it. Thanks for reminding me what my position in this white driven society is, America. I sure as hell don't mean shit if Zimmerman can avoid not guilty and manslaughter charges for killing a young man for merely existing in Florida.

I guess she's black?
I don't know. It's hard to tell with women on Dreamdwidth. They'll appropriate any cause they feel will get them sympathy points for being a victim.
It honestly wouldn't surprise me if this turned into a "well if this happens to a man imagine what happens to women".

Blog: Words Fail me right now. I will get academic later, though. PACIFICRIMISTHEWINNER!

It was a huge piece of shit. Insipid dialogue, nonexistent characterization, poorly framed, cartoonish action and plot twists so stupid it actually made me stupid watching.

Idris Elba was the King of the movie and Rinko Kikuchi was the Queen. 

The part that pisses me off is it should have been a slam dunk. White guy pilots giant robots and then bangs Asian chicks.
It's basically what goes on in my head 24/7 but no, they somehow fucked up the easiest movie on earth to make.

First world problems: The closest one in my area decided it wasn't going to have any showings of Pacific Rim period. Fucking A, Mr. Convenience, you had to choose the one day I wanna go to a premiere to be Mr. Inconvenience, did you?

The theater I went to accidentally started showing Man of Steel.
I feel like it was warning me. "You don't know it now but you'd rather sit through this turd again."
It's true. If I'm a captive audience at a theater I'd rather sit through that again than Pacific Rim.

We’ve all always suspected that Johnny Depp’s portrayal of the pidgin English-speaking wildman Tonto in ‘The Lone Ranger’ might be more than a little racist, but now that we have an abundance of official images to go on, we can say conclusively that yep, this character is offensive as hell. 

Don't worry the movie sucks hard.
Pacific Rim was so bad guys--
I think I'd rather sit through Lone Ranger again.
That's how bad it was I'm dead fucking serious.

SO IT WOULD APPEAR Pacific Rim is about to suffer the same problem Remember Me experienced as far as viewership and attendance goes. Those who somehow got a hold of its tracking announce that its being beaten out by the worse comedian ever and his sequel to his equally awful movie, Adam Sandler. 

Remember Me?
The video game?
That like 5 people played and is already 40% off on the Steam Sale (still not spending 30 dollars on it)?

I'm wishing that Aisha Tyler had been considered for Lois Lane in "Man of Steel". Lord knows she's got the looks, the personality and the passion to pull the character off without a hitch. Problem is, she'd just be stuck with the same bland interpretation of the character from David Goyer Amy Adams had to deal with.

Not sure the American audience is ready for Superman to go interracial.
She is a lot hotter than that 5/10 white wahm they went with though but that seems to be what the American people demand so who am I to judge?
... Seriously I bet you people just read right through that sentence without another thought.
"Who am I to judge?"
I JUDGE ALL.
Holy shit she did mean Remember Me the video game and not some movie I've never heard of.
Who gives a fuck?

Kotaku.com tends teeter on the edge of offensive to rare-moments-of-clarity. This time its the first and not the latter and since this is coming from an author who appears to understand why it’s a big deal video games have Black protagonists or female protagonists in video games

That chick is black?
Are you fucking joking?
Black--
as in during character gen they picked the "not lily white" option, right?
What the fuck black person has blue eyes?

JEAN-MAXIME MORIS: No, we wanted Nilin to stand out. I think these sort of issues become self-fulfilling prophesies; people saying that only white males sell so then everyone only does white males. If you start believing these things, you get your head inside this cold marketing strategy that you cannot get your head around. It becomes a pretty fucking racist and misogynistic way of thinking about lead characters.

And 5 people  bought the game so I guess they were right.
White male protagonists let's do this shit.

It was their belief that Nilin’s status was a biracial woman (Black mother, white Father) should have no standing on her ability to stand as a the headliner of a game, that the belief as stated above is not only racist, but a misogynistic mantra that many won’t or do not challenge.

Kotaku.com’s Evan Narcisse attempts to argue the same under the pretense. However, he suggests that because “Remember Me” doesn’t discuss the issue of race and her status as biracial and female, this means that her being a Black Woman “doesn’t matter” in the role of a protagonist at all and it does.

See what I mean when I say don't waste your time with this piece of shit?
It's the future and I can inject other peoples' memories into my brain but the real issue here is what race the DNA the main character's mother got injected with.
Not, you know, the moral and ethical ramifications of injecting someone's memories into your brain.
I know virtually nothing about this game outside of a 3 minute Broteam review and the opening sentence of the Wikipedia page and already I can think of a handful of far more interesting issues than the pedigree of some slut:
1. how do I know my memories are my own if this technology exists?
2. what defines a memory?
3. what am I if not a collection of reactions to past things and a current interpretation of events based on those reactions?
4. Nostalgia is generally accepted to be a necessary emotion to keep down angst about the ever-changing definition of who you are (no one holds the exact same opinions they did when they were a child or even six months ago, for instance) so does that change if your memories aren't your own?
BUT NOPE, ALL THAT MATTERS IS THE MAIN CHARACTER IS A BIRACIAL WAHM.

A nice Cheerios advertisement whose only discernible difference from other Cheerios commercials is that it depicts an interracial family was forced to disable its YouTube comments section today after it became inundated with virulent racism. 

Genius.
Get everyone whining.
Personally I'd have an interracial transgender couple in my commercial.

I am biracial. My mom is black and my dad is white. My family often had the audacity to eat breakfast even though cereal was not being specifically marketed to us. When I was growing up, there were no families on television that resembled mine. My family was something of an anomaly in the overwhelmingly white neighborhood of Seattle where I lived. When I was with my mom, people would look at me and ask, “What is she?” When I was with my dad, people would ask, “Is she Italian?” 

Most Americans are part Italian.
Most of my ancestors were Roman, though.
Here's the character from that shitty video game.
Would you have ever guessed in a thousand years she was supposed to be part black?
Ignoring the fact the entire game has this shitty effect where everything looks like it was dipped in Tang but you can't even tell.
There's this thing called facial morphology and most video game makers haven't heard of it.

Capcom really needs to learn to divide its series up between different characters instead of pigeonholing the series to just Chris and Jill. Claire Redfield hasn't been seen in a primary game since Code Veronica, Rebecca Chambers and Billy Coen have all but fallen off the face of the Earth; the characters of Outbreak have yet to be seen in another game and the list goes on. Sheva (and Josh Stone) is just another in a long line of "new characters" to join the ranks of the unvisited after their initial showing. It's a shame, really, because she was one of the best parts of RE5 outside Excella.

People care about the plot of Resident Evil?
Since when?
Here's the plot of Resident Evil.
People care about that.

    Spleepoppetween wrote:
    People bitched about that pretty much because there's Black Africans in Africa that were being shot which is the dumbest thing I've heard, I doubt they're avoiding making a certain race of characters over a group of dumb people who made a dumb accusation.




Except that it wasn't bitching, a lot of it was pretty justified when you step back from the knee-jerk reaction of ''Resident Evil'' being deconstructed from a critical standpoint at all. Especially when the arguments were valid once you start looking at the social implications of a white character (Chris Redfield) and a light-skinned [West] African woman (Sheva Alomar) killing en masse her darker skinned counterparts.

Throw in how people in Africa are depicted as downtrodden "savages" in need of rescue from a white counter part and you've got a problematic recipe for disaster that most were right to point out. 

... They're not just shooting black people. They're shooting black people infected by some sort of fuck off leech zombie virus.
Here's a post bitching about how roleplaying always has to be about two gay guys in a romantic relationship and why can't they just be friends?
Because you're dealing with a group of people with 0 social interaction. That's why.

All are modeled after women of color. Not that this is an important part of any of their identities, but it’s still a very conscious choice on the developer’s parts in an industry where anything but ‘white male’ is an other. The few earlier, well-established video game women are all white (ex. Samus Aran, Lara Croft, Joanna Dark, Sarah Kerrigan).

Lara Craft is actually half black and looks it, unlike the other game you were mentioning.
Do you even play video games?
Samus Aran is also like 6'7" or something ridiculous and can fold herself into a ball (bending her spine the wrong way) so I suspect she's a different species.

Inspired by Anita Sarkeesian’s Video Game Tropes vs Women, I wanted to pitch a Zelda game where Zelda herself was the hero, rescuing a Prince Link.

Shiek was Zelda in disguise and Shiek basically saved Link's stupid ass throughout all of Ocarina of Time.
Do you people even play video games?
Ha, ha here's something asking me to take a pledge: "gamers against bigotry".
No and thank you. That'll get in the way of the killing.
Nonstop whining about video games and black people--
Nonstop whining about video games and women--
All right I've decided I'm done with this shit.

Gaben

STEAAAAAAAAAAAM SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALE
My wallet is ready, Gaben. Please take all my money.
Day 1 acquisitions: Rogue Legacy- AKA what if Rogue-likes weren't all fucking gay and stupid and Hotline Miami- AKA what happened if the 80s never ended and turned into a surreal horror story.
Anyway Dreamwidth was playing some whiny music I couldn't find the source of (I think some twat uploaded it and set it to autoplay so the main page was just playing it by default) but none of that matters because this blog comes via request.
Yeah I'm popular enough to get requests.
Anyway I'm just waiting for the new Steam sales.

Holy mackerel, ya'll, I have ninety-nine volunteers for transcript work. I'm pretty sure that if we haven't broken some kind of Volunteer Transcripting Feminist Brigade then we will soon if I keep getting more folks on board. SOMEONE CALL GUINNESS.  

Transcribing the important texts.
Pop quiz, everyone: name one feminist author and one book she wrote.
Margaret Atwood doesn't count because that's just bondage fetishist writings masquerading as whining woman bullshit.

Yesterday, I noted that the farm bill had passed the House with no funding for food stamps. The expectation was that Republicans were wrenching the two apart in order to attack the food stamp program with deep cuts. And so it begins:

Yeah. Cut food stamps but continue subsidizing crops that don't need subsidized anymore.
Bang up job all around, retards.
We're saving money while losing even more money to shit we don't want to cut because we'd lose graft!
I say cut everything.
Man is a wolf to man, as the Romans used to say.

THE REPUBLICAN PARTY THINKS PEOPLE ARE NOT ENTITLED TO FOOD.

Well I mean technically speaking you aren't entitled to anything. There was a time not too long ago where if you didn't grow/make money to buy your own food you were pretty much fucked. There was no social net to catch you.
I might contend with all of our progress and technology (which, like all great scifi authors, I believe hasn't set us as far apart from beasts as we like to believe it does) we should be a bit beyond letting people starve but trusting man to overcome is own nature to do so is a bit silly.
If I were people I'd try to endure and overcome because at the end of the day the only thing you can trust to get a job done right is you.

They think people are not entitled to jobs. They think people are not entitled to healthcare. They think people are not entitled to homes. They think people are not entitled to education. They think people are not entitled to safety. They think people are not entitled to equality. They think people are not entitled to vote. They think people are not entitled to agency. They think people are not entitled to any of what the baseline security of being a citizen in a wealthy democracy should guarantee.

Pretty sure the constitution entitles you to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It doesn't entitle you to any of the shit you just mentioned.
PURSUIT of happiness doesn't mean you'll achieve it.
It's like Steam achievements, man. Just because the game lists 60 achievements doesn't mean you'll get them all.
You gotta play it and do well.
Or if it's like most games beat the game then get really lucky with the rest.
This blog is really boring.
Why did this come requested?

[Content Note: Hostility to agency.]

What the fuck does that mean, exactly?

Hey, ya bunch of radical feminist weirdos! Long time no talk about LOVING AMERICA.

Man, all this abortion talk lately has really been getting under my skin. Along with three ticks I acquired while fishing with my best friend Dick Balzac last weekend, but I guess that ain't relevant right now. 

What the fuck does that mean?
I'm not reading all this.
More abortion shit I don't care about--

[Content Note: References to death and disaster.]

From a recent interview with British Cosmopolitan (What—did you think she would do an interview with NOT-British Cosmopolitan? You're so weird.):

    [Paltrow] disagrees with doctors who warn patients to avoid tanning. "We're human beings and the sun is the sun -- how can it be bad for you? I think we should all get sun and fresh air," the actress tells British Cosmopolitan. "I don't think anything that is natural can be bad for you -- it's really good to have at least 15 minutes of sun a day."

Well it does help with Vitamin D production.
She is right. Being outside 15 minutes probably won't kill you.
While I haven't been outside a contiguous 15 minutes in the last month that doesn't mean it's inherently harmful.
I just see no need to venture out.
She then proceeds to bitch for about five paragraphs about nature could conceivably harm you.
It's true it could but that's unlikely.
Being inside could harm you. You could accidentally swallow your own tongue if you contemplated how boring you are.

[Content Note: Fat bias; eliminationism; racism.]

What is eliminationism?
Sounds like something I need to be a part of.
Wikipedia defines eliminationism as:

Eliminationism is the belief that one's political opponents are "a cancer on the body politic that must be excised — either by separation from the public at large, through censorship or by outright extermination — in order to protect the purity of the nation".[1]

That gets a cool out of yes in my book.

Yesterday afternoon, I had the amazing opportunity to speak to a photography class taught by Shaker gwyllion about the Beauty Standard, culturally constructed norms, visibility, and transgressive/deviant beauty, specifically around fat bodies (although during the Q&A following my Skype talk I ended up talking a lot about other marginalized bodies, too, like trans* bodies, bodies with visible disabilities, etc.). 

What the shit?
If I majored in photography (I'd switch majors to something less useless) but if I majored in photography and that's what the class was about I'd walk the fuck out.
I'M TRYING
TO LEARN HOW TO TAKE A GODDAMN PICTURE.
I DON'T NEED THIS COW MOANING AT ME.

[Content note: Discussion of trans*phobia]

Gaben if this is the Steam sale today I think my wallet is going to come out largely intact.
75% off a game that barely fucking works.
COUNT ME THE FUCK IN!
50% off Fez, AKA pretentious hipster garbage!
HOLY SHIT.

[Content Note: Image of gun.]

The hilarious thing about this warning is I saw the gun before the warning.
Unless your monitor is especially small or you've configured your browser in a clever way you're almost guaranteed to have the gun and the warning on screen at the same time.

This weekend, after being friends online for a very long time, Jessica Luther (@scatx) and I met in person for the first time. And it was amazing. And we talked about all the things.

ALL THE THINGS THERE IT IS
I WAS WAITING
God that's the worst saying there is.
WE TALKED ABOUT ALL THE THINGS~
I can almost hear the annoying high pitched whine her voice hits to say that.
It really just needs an anime emoticon to bring my piss to a boil.
ALL THE THINGS ^.^
God I'm so fucking angry.

f you have appreciated being able to tune into Shakesville for coverage of the goings-on in Texas, or the recent Supreme Court decisions, or discussion of Paula Deen's racism free of fat hatred, ageism, and regionalism, please remember that Shakesville is run exclusively on donations. I would certainly appreciate your support, if you can afford to chip in. The donation link is in the sidebar to the right. 

Her blog is Shakesville.
She's asking for a handout.
Incidentally if you want to support the only guy who tells you how it is consider donating to Edie Finds a Corpse.

What is something you regularly do that people might consider "old fashioned?"

I'm not offended by everything I see or read.
I know, I know: way old fashioned but what can I say?

As for me, I still totes play my Atari 2600. For a long time, I was just super uncool. Now I'm a "retro gamer." LOL.

GRRRRL GAMER HERE

I don't use birth control.

I don't use birth control because I'm in a relationship with a man, and we would like to become pregnant. 

You mean you.
If he becomes pregnant that'd be worrying.

Two years ago, we spent a lot of time and money and tears trying to become pregnant through IVF -- a step we thought was necessary due to low sperm count after a vasectomy and vasectomy reversal -- but we didn't succeed. We didn't succeed because all the embryos we created ended up failing to thrive due to genetic abnormalities; the doctors decided that my husband and I were genetically incompatible to create healthy babies. 

Sounds like weak genes.
I think it'd be best if you adopted--
although your life outlook is an aberration, too.
Maybe cloying, crushing loneliness is best for you.
Fuck this gay earth.