You people are doing this on purpose

It must be a contest. That's the only explanation. Whoever can come up with the biggest "who gives a shit?" entry wins a prize. These past three weeks have been a veritable tennis match of hum-drum, boring, "who gives a fuck?" type blogs. Don't get me wrong, though: all blogs are that way, so when I can pick out your blog as especially inane, you have problems.
Fortunately we have Saddest_Borg's blog today, a person who drove this contest to its natural conclusion. This is the top. It is only up from here.
I hope you're deep in your seat, because if not you will fall the fuck out. Today we get to cover such pressing issues as Abortion Rights in Poland and UKRAINIAN ELECTIONS OH NO and my personal favorite: "Why I hate anime (!)"!

Since I've just come back from the screening of an important documentary, today is a good day I think to post a post about Poland.

Of course this poses a perhaps rhetorical question of when is it not a good time to post about Poland?

Because make no mistake, women are getting abortions.

Oh, so essay over.

Take a look at any newspaper and you'll likely find one or more ads in the health section--the code is typically "restoring menstruation".

The numbers I'm familiar with are around 80-200 thousand abortions a year (out of about 20 million women total). It's hard to tell exactly, because, well, it's the black market.

Oh-- so it continues.
For some reason I'm reminded of school.

The absolute lowest end of the price range right now, to my knowledge, is 2000 zł, which comes out to nearly $700. The average monthly wage as of January 2010 is 3213 zł, or about $1111;

So most of a month's paycheck, but considering the alternative--

How is this useful to anyone outside Poland?

Err, it isn't?

It highlights the fact that the right, particularly the religious right, can and will take away women's right to a meaningful choice if that right is not constantly defended. This will most likely be done, as it was done here, by your elected representatives--mostly men in both cases--who will fuck women over without a second thought if there's a bargain to be made. And once the fight is lost, you will find it unbelievably hard to reclaim your basic human rights.

Ah.
Well thanks for that informative and interesting reading, Saddest_Borg. I sure will be meditating long on the issue of abortion rights in Poland all week.
You know, outside of other pressing issues my Titanic mind has to sift, like: The Scarlet Letter and church government practices in 17th century England.
I am enjoying these new fine art reaction images. I feel classy and funny all in one breath.

So do I hate anime because of a number of legitimate reasons, or am I buying into some unexamined but common attitude? Like--hypothetically--Americans on the Internet feeling insecure in their cultural hegemony?

Anime, like all things, used to be fucking awesome (in the 1980s) and like all things has experienced a steady decline due to our increasingly backward and decadent society.
I have no trouble saying "our society", either, because Japan, America and all of the Western world is dealing with the same issues.

Call me a snob, I don't give a shit. Call me elitist. Call me a hypocrite, go ahead; I've paid money for Mass Effect 2, after all, knowing full well what awaits me.

A game where you throw people out of airlocks and romance blue alien women? (I.E., the same fantasy every man has ever had ever while looking up at the night sky?)

But videogames aren't supposed to be good.

What? Fuck you, Mass Effect was awesome.
I made a cool Samuel L. Jackson guy with the name Axel.
Axel Shepard.
Fuck yeah.
Of course my image of a badass Clint Eastwood in space fantasy was ruined when he opened his mouth and nothing but the most Canadian accent ever came out, but whatever it was a cool illusion at least.

People haven't been making videogames for hundreds of years in various historical circumstances, societies and languages; they're a very recent symptom of an ever further globalising culture that's hell-bent on devouring its own children. Small wonder they don't have much to work with.

Hey man, just because you don't know how to enjoy vidya gayman doesn't mean the rest of us have to be miserable.
This is really the Flowers for Algernon dilemma (see I can be pretentious too): do you want to be miserable and bored out of your huge genius brain or happy and pants on head retarded?
Simple solution, that. Be really smart while at the same time maintaining a little bit of a retard edge (stay just back from full retard, basically) and you get to enjoy the best of both worlds.
Like me. I have absolutely no practical skills at all (well, I can drive, but that's about it) and yet I know everything there is to know about literature, practically.

Never again will I say a bad word about fanfics or the practice of writing them. This is what bestselling novels in English are today: indistinguishable from a well-written and uninventive fanfic. Was it always like this?

Actually.
Before you ramble on and on let me paint you a rich narrative with Wikipedia.
So there was this guy who probably didn't exist living in circa 8th century B.C. in Greece. He wrote some totally fuck awesome books. Then a couple hundred years later some Roman guy decided the previous guy's fuck awesome books were indeed fuck awesome, so he decided to write his own fuck awesome (dubious) fanfiction. The heroes of the former's last book and the latter's fanfiction are basically the exact same, bar the fact that the latter is a whiny bitch. Also his name is Aeneus instead of Odysseus (real subtle there)
You know, exactly like how fanfiction works. To the fucking letter.
So I have now conclusively proven fanfiction is a 2000 year old tradition.

Polish novels are even worse. I don't even read any of these anymore, they're just so depressingly and uniformly dismal.

Oh hi, just being the best Polish book ever written.

Some years ago in my class on Native American Women Writers,

I am so, so sorry.

I handed out, as an illustrative counter-text, a story from Herbert Schwartz's Tales from the Smokehouse, a collection of Native erotic stories.

Oh YOU handed out. I guess you were the leader of this train wreck.
Also yes, Tales from the Smokehouse.
I've had the distinct pleasure.

In the story, a Christian missionary enters the room of a young Native female convert, finding her naked on the stone floor, her arms outstretched, gazing at a crucifix on the wall.

I made mention of this to a friend on MSN and he linked me to an album of the world's best porn music.
It helped.

Seeing the man's erection, the young girl inquires, "What is that pointed stick that stands out from your belly?" His Pauline response is:

Baby.
Oh, no, wrong again:

"My child... this stick is a thorn in my side, which causes me great pain and misery."

Thorn in your side? Must be some stick!
Now he's posting the cover of the recent vidya gaym "Dante's Inferno" and seems surprised that it exists.
Personally I was surprised it took so long to turn into a vidya, but I guess not everyone has the same foresight I do.

Between this and that Harkonnen guy who can't get off unless he kills a pretty young boy, there's potential here for a devastating critique of one of the "foundational" "works" of nerd "culture". Quite frankly though, I'm content with making y'all reading this think of gargantuan cocks whenever Dune is mentioned.

Funny it never occurred to me until you said it, and I'm constantly looking for new cock jokes to tell.
I won't say you're reading too much into it, but you probably do want to suck 20-30 dicks in the men's bathroom. Just putting it out there.
Well I guess that's it for today. I must say I've enjoyed this entry a lot more than, say, last entry.

Incoming fire has the right of way

Today, as I sit in traffic, watching three idiots communicate through some sort of spastic flailing about who has the right of way (green arrow turning right does, assholes) I realize that whoever has the right of way should rightfully go to whoever is bravest. Fuck you, pedestrians.
I clicked on today's blog, its opening entry entitled "Collision" expecting something about the results of my new idea, but instead I find some sort of bullshit.

this is not good, not good at all.

We seem to have switched scripts. I'm supposed to be saying that and you're supposed to be saying something else.

i dont want to make things completely awkward by bringing it up, let alone by telling him how I feel about it:

Oh boy.

he's a great guy, my best friend, the one person here who i actually love hanging out with. i dont want to be the girl i was last semester and i dont want him to be just another guy. i dont want a relationship either.

Uh-huh.

grrr... why cannot i not be attracted to guys who actually treat me right?

Yeah well that's, like, your opinion, man.
I get the point of your message, but goddamn that's a wreck of a sentence.

so this could go one of two ways and i think it's all up to me.

Stop. Give up.

oh yeah, and i have 3 page reaction paper due in 90 minutes. how am i going to write a 3 page response to a man filming his wife giving birth?!

That's a good question, actually. I guess starting before the "90 minutes before it's due" mark would probably be advisable.

"Red, white, and blue. Red, white, and blue. I didn't even know fraternities were into party themes."
As she looks into her closet pensively, Cienna contemplates going chic or low-key for her first party with James' fraternity.

And what's this? A tale?
Not reading this. Get enough of this dialog-driven, high school romance bullshit in school.

last night, my dream was full of chaos and anarchy.

CHAOS.
KILL THE TRAITORS!
Wait, no, wrong thing.

so this weekend i am so loving that i chose writing as my major. even though there is no guarantee that i will ever hit the big screen, i am so proud to be part of such a craft!

You do know you can be a good author without majoring in writing, right?
In fact most of the actually good writers did other shit in college.

Do you girls ever wonder if your male friend is going after the same guy you want?

All the time, sister.

Scenario:
I have this friend who i love dearly, and we have this mutual friend that we don't really see often so maybe he's more of an acquantance. i told my friend, we'll call him George, that I like this mutual friend, we'll call him Lennie. [NOTE: although these names are from Literature, they do not describe the characteristics of these two people.]

Thanks for that.
It's from Of Mice and Men, by the way. She went to school for that writing degree, people.
I have no fucking clue what she's talking about after this. Apparently they started talking on a "network" (Facetube) and because of that she thinks they're gay.
I mean I guess I can see the vague connection she's trying to make here between cause and effect, but really, that's like saying because he drank purple Kool-Aid and purple is the color of gay pride he must be gay.

I have to keep reminding myself that George has never hurt me and he's not the conniving type.

Bitch, if they're gay together, they're gay together.

I believe that we are all bisexual and shouldn't have to explain ourselves if we are attracted to the same sex. Then again, it'd be nice to know if your guy friend is your competition for a mutual male.

Baby it ain't be like that.

i don't watch television much (especially at school) bit when I do watch television, it is "reality TV" that I watch.

"Reality TV". What's that?

I've been catching a few episodes of "Teen Mom," and I must say that Catelynn and Tyler are my favorites.

Teen Mom. Sounds like a great tale.
Further, I'm sure "Catelynn" and "Tyler" are worthwhile human beings.

The other couples make me wonder. Would Maci be with her boyfriend(Ryan) if it weren't for the baby? Would Amber be happier with her boyfriend if she didn't have the baby?

So this is what passes for entertainment in 2010.
Huh.
Come to think of it, weren't they planning some sort of Nickelodeon special with Britney Spears' little sister, after she got teen pregnant? I wonder if that ever panned out. Well whatever I have to do some shit now. I have essays to write in other languages and such like. I know that doesn't sound too impressive (because it's not) but I thought I'd just make mention of it because most of these bloggers are barely literate in their own language.
This one seems to have that whole literacy thing down. Now she has to focus on not being boring.
Such work, this writing.

Zzzzzzz

I don't know, maybe it's the weather. I think it's cloudy in pretty much every country at the moment, so maybe it's just a lazy Monday for bloggers across the world, but you people (and I mean that exactly as hostile as it sounds) are especially mild today, even in your douchebaggery.
I'd congratulate each and every one of you, but I'm sure it's just a lack of trying.
Not going to get any points for being too lazy to do what you usually do, are you, people?

One of my classmates prayed our teacher would be snowed in, but she was there; however, one of the boys didn't show up, and the one that did, the one who's chronically late to begin with, said he'd had a hard time digging out the end of his driveway.

Neat-- Zzzzzzzzzz.

The good news is that I'm feeling better. The bad news is apparently I've passed the weirdness onto my bird.

I'll be sure to read this.

I've been feeling a little weird today. I first felt it while doing a yoga pose on Wii Fit, and then off and on all day I've been tense and tired and a tad lightheaded.

You know when I bought the Wii I was promised it'd be a fun vidya gaym machine. Unfortunately that never really panned out go figure~

I haven't been at school for this long for quite some time. I'm basically one and done this semester, the joy of being part-time, so I go to school, have my class, and go home, especially Tuesday/Thursday.

Must be nice.
Tuesday-- Tuesday.

Except today I had my choral read-through, which was scheduled for 1:00, so I hung around for almost four hours after French finished.

Whoop-de-shit. I had to do that twice a week last semester.
Actually it wasn't four hours, but it was a long fucking time, all right.

I got a 0% when I got back to it because the audio still didn't load and I just plugged in random answers. My teacher also emailed the company and they were like, make sure your students have the updated programs and software installed. Well, I did that when I first accessed the website less than a month ago because the site wouldn't let me access it otherwise. Sigh. I hope this isn't a continuing problem.

Sounds like user error to me. The other students didn't have this problem, did they?
Macs, I tell you.
Speaking of:
>professor assigns online quiz
>half the class can't take it because they are no good at computer
>I take it and do well
>teacher cancels the exam until he can get the issues worked out
Whatever, that class.

We just got to days of the week in French class. I feel horrendously dumb--who knew mardi was actually Tuesday?

Oh, what? You've been talking like you're a regular pro at French.

Hmm, guess gras must mean fat. No wonder people speak of Mardi Gras as actually just one day. Here I thought it was the French term for Carnival.

There's a reason it happens on the day before Ash Wednesday, darling.
I don't even know about this whole bullshit French culture thing. It just kind of stands to reason there's a good excuse to throw a big party before the fasting season.

Also, we didn't really do anything to celebrate in class today. I half expected my teacher to walk in with beads or something.

Yeah college isn't like high school. There aren't many movie days :(

He also called to tell us that my grandmother did in fact buy the vehicle we'd looked at--all the way back on Monday. Mom was surprised that grandma hadn't called to tell us herself. Well, grandma's not always the most considerate person sometimes.

Didn't know she had to clear every purchase with you. She's an adult.

We're on the verge of a mini-snowpocalypse,

Thanks a lot, Obama, for coining the dumbest word I've heard in recent memory. Snowpocalypse.

I confess: I totally rooted for the Saints. I mean, come on, like I'd root for the team that beat the Bears three years ago. I think not.

Oh look, football.

Hey, Wii-type people:

Is it common for the remotes to suddenly stop working when you're in the middle of playing something? This keeps happening when dad and I play Super Mario, which is really frustrating, because it usually occurs when we're moving and we end up running off a platform and dying.

Vidya gayms

I think part of it happens when we accidentally hit B, but when I became aware that might be causing problems I was cautious about it and the remote thing still happened.

Blaming the controller for user error. What are you, nine? I used to do that AND throw my SNES controller across the room angrily. Then I turned 10.
Although knowing how the Wii controller is it might actually be the controller. REVOLUTIONARY CONTROLLER my ass. I'd probably have an easier time controlling the game through a VCR remote.
It's funny, but the game with the absolute best Wii controls I've ever seen also was entirely menu driven. Great.
Her technical problems continue in piano class and I'm starting to think all technology recoils at her touch at this point.
Not all of us can bear the blessing of the Machine God I suppose, but goddamn.

Also, and semi-random: If you live in the general area, you probably heard that a plane crashed literally across the street from my school Saturday night. It was a small plane and the two people aboard died. It's always sad when something like that happens, but honestly, had it happened at a different time on a different day, and had the plane landed even a few yards to the east, there easily could have been more fatalities.

Holy goddamn I wonder if your power would work on Xeno technology, or does it only work on our blessed human machinery?
Either way I'm calling the Inquisition and the Adeptus Mechanicus.

She then brought up the whole "But Alaska and Hawaii weren't always states in my lifetime" bit. True.

... How old are you?
So I think that's it. This entry is starting to drag a little. Oh well, hopefully Wednesday will be a little livelier.

Camouflage is the color of fear.

Take that, modern military dress codes.
Today we have some... Thing. She calls herself "musochild" and I've contemplated the possible translation of the word "muso" (or "musou" as it's typically spelled) and unfortunately without accompanying kanji or context it's pretty much impossible to know the real meaning.
The problem is that the word translates one of several ways, and all are horrific cliches in these blogs.
The two most likely candidates are 「夢想」 or　「無双」, meaning, in order, "dream (as in a vision)" and "peerless".
I've also entertained the possibility it's not Japanese in origin, but given the internet and blogs as a whole-- nah.
So what do we have here, a delicate, bard soul or Johnny Arrogant?
I'm going to guess both. I haven't read it yet, but that's my gut feeling.

so i pulled an all-nighter.
then at 6am friend of mine who i've known (and liked) for quite a few years comes online, says hi.
then he says that at a camp we went to two years ago, he spent the whole time hitting on me in a roundabout way.
i say 'you should've told me, i wouldn't have said no.'

Wouldn't have said no. Is that a fucking yes or a no, goddamn?

giving up on men. really. they're all useless, unless they're gay. in which they're just as useless, except nicer about it.

I'm sure the feeling is mutual.

do you believe that angels watch from above? the grass is green, but is it green enough?

What the fuck?
No, no, we're not doing this. Next entry.

Name: Claire
Nicknames: Clairebear, Isolde, Princess, Trigger, Clarabella, plus a multitude.

Claire. Hi Claire :3
I particularly like your nickname of "Isolde" first because it's really pretentious but second because of Iseult (as she's typically known)'s bad end. Crushed to death by a Cornish knight.
Nobody fucks with Mark of Cornwall.

About Me:
me?

Really?
WRITE ABOUT YOURSELF.
WAIT, ME?
No, stupid, the other you. Putz.

i'm a little bit strange, i guess. i like beautiful and bizarre and eccentric and weird and wonderful things

Wow how unique.

i'd like to go back to south africa, the beloved country, and fly away to ireland and walk the streets of london in the glooming joyous rain, and run to russia inside a lucent dusk.
i saw a glassmaker today, and fell in love.
aaaaaand i promise i'm not this intense all the time.

I have such a fucking headache.
Unrelated, probably, but still doing nothing to help--

Music:
don't ask this! so much music. right now i'm a little bit into 70's and 80's rock, but i'm a bit of an indie chick normally.

Claire confirmed for hipster bitch.
Speaking of not shit music (the 70s and 80s bit of her sentence): Billy Idol covered Simple Minds "Don't You Forget About Me". I just found out about this.
It's really good, actually. I mean, Billy Idol is always awesome, but there's pretty much no reason to cover the original because it's good as-is, but it's still a really good cover.

plus, i'm a classically trained soprano, and i love to scat.

Classically trained annoying, more like.

Movies:
arthouse and french! oh, and i kinda love star wars. a lot. that doesn't make me a geek.

I always have a problem with people who answer a question like that. What movies do you like? OH I LIKE FRENCH MOVIES.
... Okay? I didn't fucking answer your question with "oh I like American movies," did I? No, I gave you a direct fucking answer. What kind of French movies? I've never seen a French movie in my life because I like my movies to be about cool things like bounty hunters and samurai and shit so needless to say I never have much of a reason to see what's going on in the Land of the Franks, so you're going to have to help me out a little.

Books/Authors:
irini savvides, virginia woolf, ted hughes, sylvia plath, markus zusak.

Oh wow. I've never met someone who honestly admits to liking Sylvia Plath.
Actually I tell a lie: I have met one person. I nicknamed her The Torso.
(She had a really, abnormally long torso. I think she was a xeno)

more weird dreams.

Huh that's almost close to the opening of a really awesome book I know about.

read the new margaret atwood, year of the flood.

I'm not typically a fan of contemporary writers but Margaret Atwood wrote a book about Odysseus' wife, Penelope, that I (for a second) debated checking out. I ultimately decided against it because if I wanted to read a book about women and their periods I'd just check out what's up on Livejournal and add another brilliant entry to my already formidable List of Honors that is this blog.
YOU JUST GOT DESTROYED, MARGARET ATWOOD.
Also Livejournal
Also Penelope
Also literary tradition
Goddamn that was a fucking megaton of a burn.

weird post-apocalyptica satire on christianity and mob rule, crossed with a brothel, some gene splicing and CorpSeCorps.
bizarre. it'll take a second reading to understand.

Huh that's funny. That sounds a lot like Warhammer, except really stupid.

5. what are you listening to now/have listened to last: now? the whirring of my computer. last? through glass by stone sour at band practice this afternoon.

What

going on schoolies on saturday. more yay!

>Happy about going to school on Saturday
Well, Claire, I must say you're not the worst blogger I've ever had the pleasure of meeting but your blog is still pretty fucking bad. Might I suggest trying to be less of a hipster bitch and just rolling more with what you like, versus what makes you look cool?

Sad, bro. Very sad.

I almost feel bad for today's specimen. He, like all furries, seems to wander around in a stupefied daze. It's an emotional state I can relate to (the latter part, not being a furry). I guess it's February weather?
Anyway our boy here has some kind of tragedy in his life (well at least one, as he is a furry) but it might be really hard to tell given the walls of letters he calls paragraphs.

I actively try and do a damn good job at not letting people walk all over me. I'm the first to tell someone to fuck off if I feel they are gonna take me for a ride but honestly when it comes to my friends or people I care about I tend to get walked on and just take it.

Soooooooo... You do or don't let people walk on you?
I guess he doesn't, except sometimes he does.
Personally if someone were to walk on me I'd try first to discern why I'm laying in a potential path of foot traffic then try to either move or tell the person not to step on my dick, but that's just me.

the last few years i've been a total scrooge or however the fuck you spell it about christmas and the newyears and all the other holidays (thanksgiving too).

I don't think that's how that word works but okay. Also I like how he says OR HOWEVER THE FUCK YOU SPELL IT and then proceeds to spell the word correctly. Someone should really consider inventing an online dictionary or something because that would be really handy. If you weren't sure about a word you could just open up another window and hammer that bitch in and wham, there's your answer.
Shit if these internet people really got their shit together they could work out some sort of tab index system so you could just click on the tab and open multiple websites in the same window. You could just have that dictionary in the background while you're making a post so you don't look like a complete illiterate.
Goddamn I'm full of good ideas.

i'm getting really tired of them really fast i just went in an emotional backflip in the last ten minutes.

The title of the post is "my actual bloodline family" but I'm not really sure that helps in understanding this Toyota of a sentence (timely reference). Get it, because Toyotas can't stop and it's a run on?
Hell yeah.

My grandfather called me and started screaming at me saying i stole...his mittens...two years ago...fucking seriously.

So tell him you didn't steal them?

First off two years ago i'dve never been interested in some fuckn mittens and i'm still not and for me to steal mittens when i have my $180 boardin gloves is retarded in and of itself and nobody can dig under my skin like my family with their words so i'm goddamn enraged at this point like i threw my phone had to move the glasses away from me chainsmoke two cigarettes and take a shower only to get out and find that i have a new voice mail not five minutes after he called me acusing me of being a thief and a liar he left me a message saynig he found his gloves and he wants me to call back and let him apologize.

Wow it's like John Milton wrote this only suddenly he was struck full retard or something (John Milton was a pro of writing really, really long sentences with parenthetical asides in digressions kind of like what I do sometimes).
Now there's a post about his brother dying of brain cancer (perhaps it runs in the family, because I'm pretty sure a cancer claimed our boy here's brain a long time ago and he kept running somehow, like a computer without a hard drive [that doesn't make a lot of sense]).

This year i'm going to be at rainfurrest on my birthday

Stop. "Rainfurrest"?

o here's hopin i don't turn into a big pile of depressed on my birthday at a con and i actually make it so that i have one more day in september thats awesome, filled with friends laughter maybe the drink *coughawesomesexcough* and good times for everyone

Furrest--
ಠ_ಠ

y'know i used to believe that people were makin shit up when they said shit like "they have a smile that lights up my world". I thought it was all smoke and mirrors and stuff. I used to think they were all crazy when they talked about how just the though of someone could bring their worst mood and make it do a 180. I never quite figured out how a smile so genuine could come from something as simple as a text or a song could crawl across thier face, or how somethin even smaller can put someone in bliss.

What?

free from everything pain, worries, sorrow. how someone completely analytical and contemplative can just not be able to do it anymore on someone. It never occoured to me as a possibility that the world could change and almost stop to become just that much brighter with a person. I donno maybe i'm crushin'.

MAYBE, I DON'T KNOW. No really. I don't know. I have no clue what the fuck you're rambling about.

Maybe it's more. I sometimes wonder if i'm enough to chase.

Huh, comparing love to a chase, what does this remind me of--

Other times it's like butterflies in my torso tell me to run as fast as i can until i catch. I don't know. I used to think. I never quite figured. I used to believe. There is only really one constant in this whole mess of some sort of things. Damn do i love that fuckn' smile

IN TOUCH WITH THE GROUND
I'M ON THE HUNT I'M AFTER YOU
SMELL LIKE I SOUND
I'M LOST IN A CROWD
AND I'M HUNGRY LIKE THE WOLF
STRADDE THE LINE
IN DISCORD AND RHYME
I'M ON THE HUNT, I'M AFTER YOU
I guess that's more of a hunt than a chase, but same shit.

i've been reflecting alot lately and i'm gonna post things about me here that follow the 7 sins i'm not a religious person but these "sins" intrigue me to no end and i find each and every one of them in me in some way and how i'm going about in life trying to fix them (yes i'm bitching this whole journal)

I, too, am interested in the notion of sin and Dante's Divine Comedy is one of my favorite writings of all time so I'm very interested in your no doubt poorly-thought out, poorly-worded diarrhea of a post on the subject of the Seven Deadly Sins. I especially like the promise that he'll be "bitching this whole journal". very promising.

This is one i've recently gotten in check with the help of my room mate and his mother i've seen the joy of giving and i'm addicted to it. i'll buy the whole shop at work doughnuts i'll lend money (sometimes that i don't have) to someone who desperately needs it and i don't really ask for it back i tell

Okay I have no idea what the fuck he's talking about pretty much from the beginning. He seems to be implying he lent money without expecting it to be repaid at all and because of that he's greedy.
I don't think that's how greed works?
Greed is usually being particularly miserly or unreasonably attached to money. Dante divided this into two categories, the miserly and the prodigal, and they forever sat in these stone half pipe contraptions and wheeled giant boulders at each other only to crash in the middle and repeat the process over.
Sort of like that level of Crash Bandicoot like that where you had to jump between the circle cut out in the middle, but I think that might have been a coincidence.
I think Dante was inspired by the myth of Sisyphus.

Awesome people awesome friends FC and the music spun in the rooms *jizzed in my pants* Rush Tek and Statik jeeze that was sikk!

...

THE OLYMPICS AND ALSO VALENTINE'S DAY

So glad Valentine's Day fell on a Sunday today. No trying to update when you twats are blabbering on about bullshit and-- hey wait, you always blather on about bullshit.
Today we have a very rare specimen indeed: a male who, on the surface, isn't gay. This is not possible, as we all know, because all men with blogs are gay. It's been proven.
But he seemingly has a normal life with some cunt named Jes (perhaps that's short for Justin, I don't know). But it's okay: he's a grade A dick, and dicks and cunts go together like Bruce Springsteen and bad music.

I convinced Jes that I was helping a friend move during the day and wouldn't be able to see her until later that night.

When making plans it's very important to stop for a moment and think to yourself "where can this plan go horrifically wrong?" and if "oh right, she could get totally butthurt" is the answer, you might want to rethink your battle plan, Patton.

And that we might miss our dinner reservations, but I'd make it up to her today (Monday). The plan was then that I'd show up and surprise her.

Let me guess: she went out with her girlfriends and got drunk.

Jes did not take it very well. She's a fiery one and I should have realized that there's no way she would just stay put and wait around for me to call. She went out with friends, which I didn't find out until I went to pick her up and couldn't find her.

Oh it's like he can see into the future how does he do it--

She had her phone on silent, so my calls went to her voicemail. Finally, I got in touch with one of her friends. The group was drunk at a bar.

Someone call the Inquisition we have psychic talent right here in my house--

At this point, there was no way we were going to make dinner reservations. I walked in and some guys were hitting on the group. Jes, pissed at me for all sorts of reasons,

I'm not sure who's the bigger twat in this situation. On one hand what an over-reactive baby his girlfriend is, but on the other hand what a dope he is for not anticipating this. Surely he should know his girlfriend better than me, a stranger on the internet?
This is an incredibly common situation in my life where I'm supposed to take sides but I end up hating both parties.

Words were exchanged and long story short, we all got thrown out and that guy and I continued fighting in the street.

Fist fighting, I hope.

Everyone else stepped in and broke us apart. Then I drove Jes and all her friends home. We're going to try VDay again today. See how that goes.

Yes your first attempt at synthing a happy Valentine's ended in a critical failure where all your materials were lost.
Also don't let anything like statistics fool you: my character manages to explode synths 30 levels below her.
She's pretty stupid.

The first guy Jes ever brought home to her family, and hopefully the last.

The first time was for a play date when we were maybe 4.

Oh look it's like they were meant to be together or som-- Zzzzzzzzzz

Jes is being amazing. Phenomenal. She's keeping me on my toes. Occasionally makes herself "unavailable" and flirts with other girls in front of me.

Huh that's really weird, because here would be my assumption if my girlfriend were unavailable: "oh huh she must be out or something I'll call again later." Maybe it's because I'd never date a cunt like "Jes" but availability would probably never keep me on my toes.

I took one of those plastic Easter eggs from my jacket pocket and gave it to her. I told her Happy Easter, and as she opened it, I knelt. A little wet from earlier rain, but great night weather.

hurrrrrrrr

It's sad when your girlfriend does better with her bracket because she knows more about college basketball than you do.

ENTRIES FROM A YEAR AGO
Also I just pick the coolest names to win. Belmont and Gonzaga should always win.

My horoscope from yesterday:

Stop. You're not a girl. Men do not read horoscopes.
Okay, proceed.

Today's birthday (Feb. 23): To you, it's not enough to be really good at one thing. You figure out how to apply your attributes to become a star in everything you do. May brings financial breakthroughs. The love risks you take in June are worthwhile.

That's from the birthday email my sister sent me. She bolded the last line.

Oh.

Attached to the email was a picture of an engagement ring, as if I didn't get the hint. And since things weren't already crystal clear, Jules called me later to explain that the picture was of the ring. I don't even want to know when she and Jes had this talk or why my sister thought this would be such a great birthday present.

So your birthday present was a suggestion to get your girlfriend a very expensive ring.
... Okay, I guess that makes sense--

This used to be a journal about my bachelor shenanigans and youthful indiscretions. Now it's a running commentary about the issues in my personal life. None of it is even that interesting.

OH WOW, NOT VERY INTERESTING. BETTER POST THIS IMMEDIATELY!

And right. I let a female friend sleep in my bed a couple of nights ago.

It's fine. Nothing happened. Hell, I'm pretty sure every girl in the house (well, almost every girl) has slept in my bed.

"Let me find reasons for my girlfriend to be pissed at me."

Which I hope is a good thing. She asked me how I'd feel if one of her guy friends spent the night in her bed.

Oh look she just threw you a softball--

I told her I'd kill him. She asked why there was a double standard. I apologized. She is really, really angry.

I'm looking into buying a motorcycle.

I think it'll make me look cool.

Jes thinks I'm a "dipshit" and an idiot.

You're so lucky I'm not your friend, dude.
I'm the biggest rabble-rouser ever.
"I think you'd look fucking rad," would be my response to your and your girlfriend's face, then in private to her I'd tell her I thought you were a dipshit and being unsafe.
You would never get a moment's rest.
So whatever, "Kevin". Enjoy your shitty life with your banshee girlfriend. Meanwhile in Meland I have awesome shit to do.

I am error

Last entry I seem to have implied that Eurylochus was the giant Odysseus blinded with a fiery poker in The Odyssey. Eurylochus was, of course, the first captain on Odysseus' ship, and Polyphemus was the giant.
The two times I don't bother fact checking myself also prove the two times I'm wrong go figure~
Even though he wasn't horrifically blinded and disfigured, he ultimately meets his fate (along with everyone on the boat who isn't Odysseus) at the hands of Zeus.
Speaking of people who need a cleansing bold from Olympus: Revoless. (what)

The amount of disdain I have developed toward institutions of formal learning in recent years is remarkable.

I hear you. Christ all mighty, it has been --two weeks-- since that dusting you Southern hicks call snow fell, why in the fuck are the upper levels on the parking garage still closed? I could have moved that "snow" two handfuls at a time and it'd be clear by now. What have you yokels been doing?
Oh, but it's probably (probably) open now you may say. Well, that doesn't keep this last week from being a ton of nonsense.

Initially, it manifested as a distaste for the amount of bias inherent in post-secondary educations.

Oh, right. That. You'll get over it and become thankful there's a right opinion you can choose from instead of having to actually think for yourself. Believe me, you're in for reading the same shit over and over again so the ability to hand in your papers three times is pretty much a bonus.

Every class has a text and test-administrator that makes certain, more than anything else, that his/her students think in the same manner that they do.

Yeah I made the mistake yesterday of perhaps telling one of my fellow classmates that while she had to read Beowulf, I'd rather read Beowulf five times than The Scarlet Letter even once, and the teacher might have heard that oops~
Well hey, two can play at the "your opinion is wrong" game. If you think The Scarlet Letter is better than any epic you are clearly misinformed.

And some of what's spoon-fed is quite offensive if enough thought is given to the implications.

IMPLICATIONS
>implying implications

Your science is full of guesswork, and correlation mistaken for causation. No amount of precision,

Excuse me? No, I'm pretty sure they're testing that Hadron supercollider a lot before they turn it on. I'm almost certain that thing has to be unbelievably precise.
In fact I think most modern scientists try not to guess or take logical leaps at all. Also unlike English class, there is often an objective truth in science. Sure, the theories might be wrong, but you're going to need a lot of actual proof (outside of "HURR YOU CAN'T KNOW BECAUSE YOU'RE MORTAL") before anyone is going to listen.

I cringe at spelling mistakes. It's terribly shallow. Meaningless.
But that's what religion is for, isn't it?

I wish there was a religion that abhorred spelling errors. I'd be high cleric.

The Cruxshadows are probably even why I appreciate Homer, though they're clearly on Troy's side, that is to say, Rome's side.

Excuse me? I've read the Iliad a few times (it's one of my favorites, see) and I'm not really sure what that means.
I'm pretty sure Homer wasn't on the side of the Trojans. Hence that whole sac of Troy business.
Oh apparently this is a song. As in recorded and published by someone else, and she (?) bought it.
Cool song, bro.

Currently playing a game that asked me if I needed it to update my system to DirectX 3 while installing. I love.

... DirectX 3, huh?
Well anyone familiar with vidya gayman would know we're about to gear up for DirectX 12, so I think I might be reading a blog from quite a few years ago--
Nope this was published December of last year.

The old one had gotten so iffy that it was apparently making Karl's computer protest being connected to it. Now that it's gone, suddenly his processor isn't overheating anymore either.
So yay. Yay yay yay.

Uhh--
Wow I thought I had networking problems, good Christ. I didn't know simply being on a network could make a processor overheat. What the fuck are you using for heat compound, peanut butter?
Now there's a six paragraph essay on her latest scar healing. No, please, do continue.

I used to like the internet. Back in the days when it felt anonymous, unregulated, untamed and unorganized.
Back then, no one knew who you were, and no one particularly cared.

Things have changed so much in ten short-- wait, no they haven't.

And you could hop from point to point to point. Nowadays, you go to wikipedia, exhaust their resources, and are lucky if you can hop anywhere of note from those resources.

Are you on drugs? Almost every Wikipedia page has an "external links" section that takes you to ten million sources pretty much only you and the guy who wrote the page read.

The web used to allow one to be thorough, too. Nowadays, any site with real, textual content is invariably in the form of a blog.

>blogs
>content

My computer is dying. Blue screens of death with various types of error codes, freezing on the "preparing to stand by" screen... I'm pretty damned sure it's beyond redemption. It'll cost roughly $700 to buy a comparable computer without a monitor, and this is only assuming it'd take my outdated graphics card (should work, but I'm paranoid about such things because my knowledge is patchier than I'd like).

... If your monitor will "take" your graphics card. Your knowledge isn't patchy, it's pretty nonexistent.

When I was a little girl, I had a habit of pacing about the playground and thinking very hard about such questions as The Nature of Man and The Meaning of Life.

I used to pretend I was Mega Man X.
I think that's the end of today's blog. I could keep going if you'd like to hear such fascinating tales like THE MATH CLASS SHE KIND OF LIKES or WACKY ZANY COMPUTER ANTICS but quite frankly I'd rather go blind like I feared I was a few days ago.

There is no greater sorrow than to be mindful of the happy time in misery.

So I've been playing Dante's Inferno lately, and it reminded me of something awesome: Dante's Inferno.
I'm hoping for a sequel (or prequel, whatever) to Dante's Inferno: Homer's Odyssey. Holy shit, I'd preorder five. Press A to gouge Eurylochus' eye with a fiery poker.
So speaking of people undoubtedly damned to an eternity of suffering: cryqueen.

what a day i am haven,i have to go to work today when it is snowing,how bored i am.i wake up today to have a good day but it can happen for me because someone in my house wouldn't let me have it,i am so tried of living in my mom house;she is driving me carzy,alway want to start a fight with me and i dont have time for it.

There's this tendency in modern writing towards what litfags dubbed "stream of consciousness". So while people like the aforementioned Dante and Homer, and even more recent authors like, say, Mary Shelley, probably spent a lot of time thinking about what they were going to say and how they were going to say it, stream of consciousness dispenses with that bothersome "quality" and even "coherency" and just cuts to SHEER WORDS ON THE PAGE.
I like to call it the "Stephen King philosophy of writing". If you write a lot the law of average dictates some has to be good (coincidentally, Stephen King disproved his own theory).

well i feel like my skilles is not being recognize by my sensei,in my class,is there any one that take karate,tell what you have to to get promotion,because my still is better then the people that he promoted yesterday and i am so angry.

Usually martial arts reward patience, perseverance and temperance (you know, like you were some kind of virtue or something) and especially Eastern varieties also reward the reduction of ego, but whatever I guess you could bitch until you get your way.

so today someone told me that i am giving u this gift because othere people in my class were saying something about the way i was dress in a dress with no short undernet when i was wearing one on,don't u just hate when people think they have the right to talk about u,when u were not around i fine that annoying;now i am so angry about what she told me about the women in my class saying,why can people just tell others how the feel in front of them.i think that would be a good thing to do.

can someone tell me how u could have sex with a guy one day and the next,he's telling u that he doesn't want a relationship with u.well that happen to me and I still have feelings for him ever though he doesn't.

Heh.

MY is allways the same, i feel like im doin the same thing. Take work for insead i go to work and watch kids and is the same thing i do,

Okay I think I have a perfectly plausible explanation for this. She is a thawed cave woman. We should really congratulate her for integrating this far into modern society.

Every little girls that is see r marry and i can fine sumone to love me.

I know I just used this image recently but I think the situation calls for it:
This is easily in the "top five worst blogs grammatically" I've ever read.

is it me r i dont have luck in fining love i dont know anytime i fine someone sumthing bad happen,can sumone help me out so i can know what im doin wrong.

See this is exactly what I mean. I quote something, reread what I just quoted, and I immediately forget what it is I have to say about it because it basically stands on its own. I don't really need to say anything. I can just quote and say LOOK AT THIS SHIT.

today is a borin day all i do all day was sit around n take care of some ladys kids, im bored how do i suppost to have fun with this job, is borin help me.

LOOK AT THIS SHIT.
And that's it. Her blog looks kind of new, so welcome her to this FABULOUS COMMUNITY that is blogging. :3
As a welcoming present, I have a good title for your blog, compliments of my bro Dante: "abandon all hope, ye who enter here".

Henry David Thoreau is the world's first blogger

What a cunt.

Ha, ha this is faaaaaaaaaaantastic!

I think I found an offshoot of the "dark purple background with the moon and birds" background: the "dark purple background with black grass" background. It's like the Nazi flag, really: when you see it, bad news.

I'm not really sure what's going on with me at the moment. I seem to be ridiculously overemotional, I cry at the slightest thing, and I am absolutely emotionally exhausted with it.

WOMEN. AM I RIGHT GUYS?

WHILE I N

EED ONLY GET A WHIFF OF SOMETHING CONTAINING FATS AND BALLOON IMMEDIATELY
INTO SOME SORT OF ELEPHANT/HIPPOPOTAMUS HYBRID?!

I'm completely out of control.

My thoughts run screaming out of my head, out of my mouth before I can save myself. My feelings are completely alien to me.

Oh my DS appears to be in another room. Excuse me one moment.

I feel like I'm observing myself through bulletproof glass, and every now and again the realisation that this is my life, that I'm the one who has created every circumstance that has led me here, hits me like cold water. I lay awake all night and sleep all day. I haven't been to work or university in days.

So I have been having a hell of a time RNG abusing for a good Spiritomb. I'm planning a balling all ghost team now that my OU team is finished. It's kind of hard to explain what happens, but rest assured it's bullshit.

Weeks. I can't even concentrate on things that would normally make me happy. I'm scaring Andrew and upsetting him and pushing him away and I know all this and I still can't stop it.

Hey, here's a good seed with a delay of 598 and a frame number of 12. Worth a shot.

And it doesn't make sense. I mean, the circumstances of my life are so stable.

Generate adjacent frames-- blah, hit 596. Two off.
Oh right, you.

I have someone in my life who loves me and wants to take care of me.

I should probably reset slightly sooner instead of waiting slightly longer. I usually find that works better.

I have a place to live, a job, a degree course I ought to be enjoying, I lead my favourite society.

WOOOOOO hit it second try.

What if, no matter where I go or what I do to try and make myself into someone who can do all those normal things that other people can do, I'm doomed to be this tired, useless, shattered thing all my life?

Wasn't there a DLC quest line about that exact topic in Oblivion?

I feel like I'm some kind of colossal fraud, and someday soon everyone is going to realise that I really have no grip on anything in my life, and sheer luck and fucking tenacity has got me this far, shit!

Better to be fucking lucky than just plain fucking. I don't mean the latter as a verb, by the by.
Newly hatched Spiritomb :3
Time to calculate some motherfucking IVs.
He's alert to sounds which means... Odd number in speed stat? Hmm.

Today is a good day. Woke up, went to the MacLab to cram, did exam (not too difficult, not massively easy...it was sort of meh, and they made us stay an hour even though EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD HAD FINISHED T

HE FUCKING EXAM...

What the fuck? This is college, right? Get up and fucking leave. They're not the boss of you.

We've been together a mere eleven weeks now, but we've already been engaged for nearly a month. Sometimes a thing just IS right, and with Andrew I have all the things I have ever wanted.

Hurr I'm a durr
Goddamn missed my frame by one again. I guess it really is three, despite CHECKING IT FIVE FUCKING TIMES AND IT CAME OUT FOUR FUCK YOU POKEMON.

It's four in the morning and, instead of snuggled up under my duvet I am sitting here freezing my ass off under the glare of the oh-so-homely blindingly bright striplight in my room, trying to muster up the energy to write five hundred or so words that I have been putting off for DAYS.

500 words is three fucking paragraphs.

23. At the tender age of 19, I have already had my heart broken 3 times. I mean properly, 'can't-stop-thinking-about-you-fuck-why-d

on't-you-want-me?' broken.

Girls are dumb.
So now I'm stuck in a weird position of not wanting to play with my DS and not wanting to read this bullshit, but I also don't want to read fucking Henry David Thoreau (homework), so I think I've officially entered what scientists have dubbed the "clusterfuck spiral".
I guess it's time to bite the fucking bullet and see what's up with captain Henry "I don't make sense from sentence to sentence" David "gayfag" Thoreau (he needs two nicknames).

AHHHHHHHHHHHH

As you may well recall from last entry, my eyes have been scourged by the fiery darts of Phoebus Apollo, and so today's entry brought my already reeling eyeballs to a state of milky blindness.
Who decided bright (almost neon) green looked good on a really bright orange background? This idiot, apparently.

The only schools I’ve ever gone to have been Catholic ones. For a number of reasons I won’t go into now, looking back on this often makes me cynical, and angry.

k
I went to regular public school and I ended up cynical and angry too. Wonder how that happened?

I often heard this complaint at my Jesuit university: “I resent having to take three theology classes, and treat them as if I believed them. To me, it’s like taking a class on fiction.” Now I would agree.

I wouldn't. You went to a school taught by Jesuits. What did you expect?
That's like when I'm surprised my school goes full retard around snow. I went to a school in the (barely) South, what did I want?

In 7th grade, my Religion teacher was my Science teacher.

Hmm.
Must have been a fascinating lesson on the theory of the humors or perhaps the music of the spheres.

I sometimes wonder if my education could be considered child abuse: I memorized miracles, mysteries, and lives of the saints for quizzes and texts.

Preaching to the choir. I'm about to read The Scarlet Letter for the third fucking time.
I'm 22 and it's still child abuse as far as I'm concerned.

My favorite spells were always prayers to Mary. So that is how I will end this post: Salve Regina, mater misericordiae: vita, dulcedo …

Get the flamethrower. There's a witch afoot.
Here's my summary of the next entry: "there's a summary on Wikipedia of OH FUCK MY EYES ARE MELTING STOP LINKING IN THAT COLOR."

Last week we went to the museum. A whole whale is hanging from the ceiling. Bigger than big! OK, have you ever seen a Volkswagen car that's like a bug? Um huh, you know what I'm talking about.

Yeah, it's called a Volkswagen Beetle. It's sort of named after a bug?

That's how big the heart of a blue whale is. I know it's not possible, but if that heart was in me could I love more?

... You do know the size of your heart, contrary to what Dr. Seuss taught you, has nothing to do with your ability to-- never mind, I'm talking about a girl who thinks witchcraft is real.

(I like to believe that when I write fiction, I explore the possible beauty and meaning of every moment, every image in life. But I am pretty damn vulnerable to despair and distraction when I'm actually living my own life.)

Wow you're really boring. I bet your fiction sucks.
Excuse me I'm just going to EV train my Larvitar while you talk. I'm sure you won't mind.
160 HP, 252 Att, 96 Spe. That shouldn't be too difficult.
There, 290 of 510 EVs knocked out in just a few short minutes.

I am an open-minded person, but I have also learned to be a realist. Please read this explanation of rape culture. I'll wait.

Now that you understand, a little bit, how a young woman is vulnerable in a patriarchal society, I expect you to understand why I will be cautious around you if you are a) a man I don't know very well b) a man as old/older than as my parents (hint: they're both under 50) or c) ANYONE I don't know very well.

Oh look, Foundations of Education has returned.
Oh, Tyranitar needs 1,250,000 exp to get to 100. That's pretty high, actually.
Yet another reason in an ever-expanding list of reasons Ghost Pokemon are the master race of Pokemon: on average they only need 800,000 exp.

I need to protect myself, and there are some things I would like you to assume about me:

Oh I found your protection right here.
Dirty Harry wishes this existed when he was tooling around San Fransisco.
Oh, no her protection is the following: RULES RULES RULES DON'T TALK TO ME.
Don't flatter yourself. I wasn't planning on it.
Christ, your rulebook is bigger than the Warhammer 40,000 3rd edition rulebook.
Which is like 400 pages, incidentally.

I would only like you to contact and communicate with me in the appropriate venue, i.e., the circle we know each other in.

So... MSN?

If we know each other through the Time Bank, message me through that system ONLY, and ONLY if it is about a volunteer opportunity.

Listen I just need a Cranidos if you don't have one you can just say so and I'll find someone else to trade with--

2) I am not looking for a romantic partner right now. Thanks but no thanks.

You know what? I'll just use my Sceptile instead, actually.

3) I have a few circles of friends my own age (let's just say mid-20s). Of course I would like to get to know you at the appropriate venue (see #1), but outside of the clubs and organizations we both belong to, I am satisfied with my social life. Let's keep our relationship (read: friendship) professional.

I SAID FORGET IT, JESUS.
I thought you were cool but it's like talking to a fucking lawyer over here.

4) If you are a man and you're showing an inappropriate interest in me (as defined by points 1-3), I am going to look you up on the Wisconsin Circuit Court open records system, and then I am going to report you to the moderator of whatever group we know each other from.

>inappropriate interest
>friendly conversation outside of her "social circle" would technically fall under that category
Glad I'm a man and don't have to worry about this rape stuff. This seems like a really complicated affair.
Seriously a .44 Mag is like a thousand bucks. You can even get the Clint Eastwood variant.
Worth thinking about.
Well this whole EV thing has really taken off so I better stop here so I can focus on this much RAW EXCITEMENT (when fighting hundreds of Seakings is more interesting than your blog you have fucked up in a way that I can't even describe properly).

Oh fuck

Did you know marine forces in the Pacific during WWII used the hamerless Winchester Model 1912 because as long as the trigger was depressed it was capable of slamfire? Meaning, all a marine had to do was slide the action and it'd fire, sort of like that show The Rifleman.
Oh yeah, unrelated: blogs.
It's just always amazing to me how creative people are when it comes to violence. Figuring out book bindings? That'd be a 2000 year process, but a rapid fire shotgun? 20 years.
I'm sort of envious, though. Having two of those mounted on the front of my car would come in handy. No one would be cutting me off anymore, no sir.

Some point in 2009:
Hannah: So Who is the Library Day Speaker this year?
Lita: i'm not really sure.
Hannah: I heard it was Vanda Symons?
Lita: I think so, they write books.

Okay, That was like the most epic fail of fail I have ever said last year.

... LOL XD

Now uh, the above speech was so stupid. Not to mention, it happened in the library. So I fail.

Vanda Symons does write books fyi and she is also a really lovely person to meet.

k
It's okay not to have anything to say. You don't need to keep posting. Or keep your already too long post from ending.

Aww -___-


I was talking to some of the junior librarians today (actually now to be presise), sounds like their having a freakin marvelous time.

Oh, what? I went into my image folder looking for something and it's 15 minutes later and I don't remember what I was looking for.
Stop this. Stop this immediately.
What could I have been looking for?
Well you seem to fancy yourself some kind of litfag but you don't know how to spell precise or the difference between "there", "their" and "they're". Probably something to do with that?

Hello LJ,

for the first time in ages, I don't actually feel like posting because I have nothing to say.

OH BOY NOTHING TO SAY! I'M SURE READING THIS! Oh wait, it gets better, too! "I don't actually feel like posting"! Goddamn, this'll be a great read!
How did Milton or Homer open their epics? "whatever don't really feel like writing this. Sing muses, or whatever it is you do. Or don't, whatever."
Somehow I don't think people would give quite as much of a shit as they do if they had opened like that.

Time to watch the Commentary to The Forbidden Kingdom
Oh my gosh! I'm gonna go and have that damn tea! YES? yes.
And...i'm going to...stop being so annoying now.
TEA.......♥
(Top 5 tonight m'dears!)
-Litaxx

Here was my face during this:Move over dog and let me in that pillow fort.

Okay m'dears! Welcome to February!
Not long now until I start Uni, but still quite a long way to that point in time.

Okie dokie, Let's hope that this month I can manage to post EVERY SINGLE DAY!
Am I up for the challenge?
Hell. To. The. Yeah.

So yesterday I was moving my eyes in a weird way to imitate how characters in Mass Effect 2 often look and I heard a weird pop in my head and now my left eye hurts periodically. Should I be concerned? I can still see out of it and everything but-- I don't know. It's worrisome.

MOVING. STRAIGHT. ALONG.
Uhhm, I was going to say something about the title..Oh right yeah, actually coming to think of it, I think I might just pass on that because it could aggrivate...certain people.
I should really shut up.
I just woken up (YES IS 11.40! LEAVE ME ALLOOOONE!)
hm.
Today is going to be a good day, the parent's are leaving the house to go to work and I'm home alone in all it's glory, Yaaay ^-^

Shut up my eye hurts goddamn I think I detached a retina--
it feels better if I cover it up.

So once upon a time there was a guy I liked and I knew I was out of his league.
Anyway, fast forward a few days later, I didn't like him anymore because he was a creep.
The End.

After that, there was another guy I liked.
And for a while we were pretty...cool. Except because I'm screwed up, the more he liked me, the more I pushed him away. Until I realized what I actually had I didn't do it so much. Anyway, long story short - it's pretty much the opposite now, so we hardly keep in contact even though I try but neugh.

Fascinating.
This is probably the first time I've seen in your blog that you've managed a coherent thought through two paragraphs. I know you're big into the "lol I'm so randum xD" phase right now because you think you're "like, totally funneh" or whatever it is you morons think (goddamn I got douche shivers typing that) but don't expect me to read any of it.
In fact I've skipped three straight pages of posts for this exact reason.

Told me to mention him in my journal entry. So, this is his mention, yup. Hello Morgan. Blah blah blah.

Oh speaking of, holy shit I heard the worst song ever today. It's called "Blah Blah Blah" and it's by that banshee, Kesha (not spelling that with a dollar sign, get fucked)
I don't even understand the appeal. She can't sing, she looks like she doesn't shower very often, she's really not particularly attractive (personal hygiene or no). No, I don't get it at all.

Do you get offended if someone repeatedly checks their mobile phone when you're out for lunch or dinner? If so, do you usually say something?

My answer to this is "yes"

Uhhhhh. This is why I have to go so off-topic. You're so impossibly boring I can't even think of anything mean to say about you. That's pretty fucking dire. I've posted every other day (not counting weekends) for over a year and a half and you're the one who exhausted my bile.
Good work (oh and also not counting days I've forgotten).
Now there's a totally hilarious post about Windows 7 and her updating schedule. Apparently she's letting Windows 7 run her life and that's somehow the computer's fault (brotip: there's a big red "turn automatic updating off" button in your control panel).
Well that's it. I think my work here is done.
I have to go write a reflection on Emerson's "Nature" which is problematic because I've done a lot of soul-searching on this monumental text in the long and brilliant literary history of the United States and the only "reflection" I can come to is that I have no reflection on the subject.
(I also haven't read it which isn't proving to be the problem you'd think it would).

OH NO WHAT DO I DO

OH NO
OH NO
TWO BLOGS AT THE SAME TIME WHAT DO I DO?
NOW I HAVE TO READ WORDS!
Actually, no, turns out one is really short. Also it's about being anorexic which I think I just did a review of one of those a few weeks ago (and a couple more before that) so let's depart from that topic for a little bit.
Instead let's get an exercise in the greatest punctuation of all time: the ellipsis.

This weekend was ok,I was ill all day sat.but got up sunday not feeling great but the best in days.

Speaking of "no space between your punctuation marks" did you know in Japanese you don't need to put a space because it's already included after each punctuation mark? Pretty handy, that.
Of course that doesn't really make up for typing in Japanese being a general flowchart nightmare but still, it is pretty cool.

I went to the market sunday afternoon,hoping of course the tax check would be there is was not of course!That it wasn't beating me to the bank.I had to stop at cfair for the paper which I forgot,and cigs.Since topps is taking over.......they aren't ordering much.....out of cigs.So,I get to the fair and going in I spy something that looked like a sack!There is 2 older women in front of me ......they were in a dead time........they go and I go out and bent down felt it and snatched it up.I guess it gives validation to.........ask and you shall receive!

I have no idea what she's trying to say here, but if I had to hazard a guess I'd say she went to a drugstore that's being taken over by Topps (presumably not the baseball card company) and then she found a backpack someone left and instead of being a good Samaritan and turning the item over to lost and found or something she instead decided to keep the bag, citing the old axiom "ask and you shall receive" which I'm pretty sure was about Christfag shit and not stealing, but I don't really know.
So already our girl is of questionable moral repute, but that may just be the sign of a complex character and not some self-centered cunt (har har har).

I was gigling all the way home....I never find anything.....a quarter here and there few ...."heads up''pennies!But nothing ever of any mention.So,I was most happy!I felt bad about dude who lost it,but my gain for once.

She felt bad for the dude who lost it, despite the fact that she stole it.
There's a word for this, I can't really seem to recall what it is-- oh that's right, I remember now.
Now her post decays into random words. At one point she says "tracker and tailor" and I'm almost positive she means "tractor trailer".
Wow I picked a bad blog to review. I know I'm supposed to be funny and make jokes and shit but I'm so mystified by everything she types I feel I have to report back here and translate it just to reaffirm to myself I even understand what's happening.

It was long and boring......the weekend.Saturday I was just exhausted after jaenelle.I went to bed early.Him and jen were going to bed when I was getting up!Tell ya what kind of day sunday was?I cooked a pot roast and did laundry.Went for the paper.Who else was gonna?Several times a day I am reminded of why I hate it here!

See what I mean? What the fuck, man?

Here ya go ........ready?

Wait let me gird my loins like some kind of Gaul-- okay, go for it.

He lost the cash!That fucking,stingy,self centered jackass hasn't lost money in 20 years!All of a sudden now?

I should have known..........He went to town at 12;15......he got back here 2;15...........with creamer,sugar,toilet paper,a pack of cigs!
I didn't eat yesterday because we had no tp.Today I was looking forward to eating something,we got next to nothing....and definately nothing that won't make me shit!!!!!!Nope......nothing to drink,or eat!!!!!!

I don't know what to say, honest to God. You didn't eat because you had no toilet paper?
... Get some?

He says I don't know how I am getting home.I was like what do you want?I can't cancel jen's appt tomorrow,I got no cell min!You tell her she can't go!I am not...............this is not my fuck up!

Yeah, you tell it sister!

Monday................doctor tomorrow for jen.....a ride to edn.Hope weather is good by mid morning.Monday music mania,no house or men,I seriously have to get some of that crap out of the tivo,and on discs....got my own bugs bunny...just got to get to a cd.

Anyone know what the fuck?
I'd like to know, actually.
Apparently Jen has a doctor's appointment Monday (also tomorrow? I don't know. It was posted on a Thursday). And then we have Music Mania (I don't know) and no house or men (so playing outside I suppose) and she has to get "that crap out of the tivo and on discs" followed by "having her own Bugs Bunny" (???) and then that last part.
Wait, no, I have the perfect reaction to this. I saved this a long time ago and I never thought I'd get a chance to use it, but finally its time is here:
Motivating quote from Oscar Gamble himself.

He's got most of the symptoms.........now we are in mania(depression)

...
Wow, that's really strange. Can you be manic and depressive at the same time? That's like being hot and cold at the same time.
Well my darlings as fun as it is reading this (about as fun as the time I wracked myself on my bike's handle bars [long story]) I have to read Comus and work on getting a Gyarados (both lofty goals). Gyarados breeding opens with a delay of 607, pretty much the worst delay there is, so good luck to me~