I wanna be the very best

After weeks of on and off struggle I finally managed to get a perfect Claydol. Fucking Claydol. Anyway my long awaited sunny day team is nearing completion after numerous stalls and distractions. Just in time, too: the Pokemon tournament I entered is having a UU round. First round was OU and I beat my opponent pretty handily (he only managed to faint one of my Pokemon and I got all of his) and so here I am.
Anyway on to the meat: Texas beauty queens. Paradox of I've ever heard one.

I got a new book but I found out that my car has a flat. Krama sucks.

... What? Connected thoughts or the rambling of a fucking mental patient?

My new book is called "Stiff : The curious lives of human cadavers" by Mary roach. I find very funny and educational and yes I am listining to Papa roach as I write this entry.

... Oh Roach and Roach I get it.
Wow. That's the standard of humor we're dealing with on this blog today.

I bought in a B& N for 13.99 only to find out by mom's droid that I could have gotten in for 9.48 online.

Editing for content is important in any good writing.

Back to the topic, in the book it's talks about beheading and the Vladimir demikhov man made two-dog(s) & headless dog experiment.

Do people named Vladimir ever turn out not evil?

There was a Pro-life women at wallmart, she had a big sign on her back and was passing out papers. She got in line with this other man who was also Pro-life. I got one her papers to see what they were info they had in it. I was surpire that there was nothing in there about God. Not very good reading but meh. Still on the fences of things.

I hate the way you write.

I am working on my book. Getting all the plot laid out and all that jazz.

Oh good, of course.

Gah my abs hurt so bad. I worked out yesterday and this morning. It didn't help that I went to work. The hardest thing for me to do is count back change and everyone know that I can't do it.

Wow you're pretty stupid. It's a simple process, matey: just think "can I use quarters? No? Dimes?" repeat. Then think how many you can give them of your largest denomination of coin, then move on down the line-- you know what, this is obviously too complex. Fuck off.

They keep asking how did I get to high school and all this crap about how I can't count.

Oh believe me, you don't need to know shit about shit to graduate high school.

I alomst started crying at work but stop myself.

So instead of learning how and proving them wrong you start crying.
Fucking Texas.
YOU'RE USELESS, ALL OF YOU.

There is no talent in this pageant so it's all on beauty and the interview.

That's a lucky break for you.

I have the beauty down

Surely Nemesis will punish ye.

(narcissus much) but I am working on the interview part and toneing for the bathing suit.

Yeah that first part, actually. Wow I'm amazed you know that, especially since you can't spell "toning" in the same sentence.

My mom is my coach and will help me with all the talking.

Your mom has to help you with all the thinking. Seriously there's two parts to this contest and you can't do one of them. What a loser.

I gauged my ears out to 12.

Nothing says "beauty" liked gauged ears.

If I want to I could take a trip to FL and audition to work at Disney.
Then I have teachers trying to stuff collage down my windpipe.

College.
"Collage" is a word but it's not what you think it is.

Help! How do I choose and how do I tell people I am not to collage (I am going to a trade school).

She's not to collage, guys. It's part of her religion.

I am alittle worried about the fact C and I didn't warp the willy up and I am off the pill.

She also implies her boyfriend died but there's such a disconnect between one thought and the next I can't really tell if she's serious.

There was one time that the swimmer were to the cave but no deep sea diving (lots of cotext clues) then there was one time were there was deep sea diving but no swimmers (as we now of) .

WHAT.
I have read this sentence five times and I have no fucking clue what she's on about. I'm guessing (somehow) it has to do with pregnancy.
swimmer were to the cave but no deep sea diving. I can't get over that part.
Anyway I'm up to her first entry and I'm only bleeding from my eyes a little bit so I think I'm going to find something else to do.

Oh well.

Last entry I eluded to using FurAffinity to find blogs but as it turns out FurAffinity isn't really blogging material. It's more a furry version of DeviantArt, which I thought that's what DeviantArt was. So I guess it's a furrier version. Not wanting to fail in this mission I did find a place where furries had blogs but most were so short and bereft of content (even the usual bullshit) my current post as it stands right now is currently longer than most of their blogs.
Anyway while I sort this nonsense out I went to this website called "Omegle" last night where you chat with idiots and I had an interesting conversation pertaining to blogs, feel free to read it:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: hello
Stranger: okay so random question.. im trying to pick a name for my blog.. which do you like better haha "Candy Coated Misconceptions" or "Reality, meet Neverland"
Stranger: hi
You: both of those are pretty awful
You: I review blogs, I'd know
Stranger: well wht do you suggest?
You: link it to me
You: let me see it
Stranger: its about my life, interesting, pic, my phtography, inspirations
You: sounds boring
You: name it "I'm really boring"
Stranger: your a whore it my blog i will make it waht i want it to be
Stranger: fuck you
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Faaantastic.
Well, it's not furries but it is girls playing video games. "Video games" since the one game is World of Warcraft.
Are you excited, incidentally? Only... 55 days and 9 hours until FFXIV!
Not that I'm keeping track or anything.

I guess it's sad that I can't even get up the gumption to have a few drinks tonight. I planned on it. But drinking alone sucks, and I know a lot of people do dumb things when they drink alone.

Drinking alone and playing World of Warcraft. Oh ye mortal coil.
Seriously please don't inflict people with your drunken antics online. I know WoW is really easy and you could probably perform admirably while drunk or high or even dead probably, but just stop.

I'm ticked at myself. I missed the drum circle yesterday, which means I'll have to wait until next month. I can't shake this sadness. It's stupid. Tomorrow is a cleansing moon, and I could pull a ritual together.

Errr, what?

But lately, I just cry at my Altar, which seems counterproductive. All I do is cry. Stupid, stupid stupid.

In Oblivion (and Morrowind too, I think) when the characters don't have anything to say they sniff and it says "SNIIIIFF" at the bottom of the screen if you have subtitles on.
So SNIIIIFF.

The trip with mom just took it out of me. I think I learned that I can't live with her. She doesn't mean to, but she has a heard time distinguishing where she ends and I begin. She and I approach life from completely different angles, and that won't work with her breathing down my neck 24/7.

So anyway,

I'm debating spending the money on a realm transfer to level my 70 Undead Lock to 80.

I mean when I played WoW I leveled to 70 (the then-cap) on a PVP server but I guess you could level in the safety of a care bear server if you're a pussy. Or a girl.

That's another $15, plus the $25 realm change.

Bobby Kotick, CEO of Activision Blizzard is a genius. Look at all this shit for what, moving your character to a new server? This is on top of the expansions, monthly fees and the 10 extra dollars for a special epic mount?
IT PRINTS MONEY!
Incidentally, Blizzard: dick move, charging a monthly fee then starting an in game cash shop.

Or I could just write my book, instead of dicking around on WoW.

On second thought it'd be no good so you might as well.

Some Saturday night. If I had any sense at all, I'd wash my hair, go to the cigar bar and pick up some lonely rich 40-something for random sex and a decent glass of wine.

Whoring yourself out, marvelous.
Also don't get cute with me. You play World of Warcraft. No way you have the charisma to pull something like that off.
I mean "pull something like that off" quite literally, too.

Back in the 80s, I boycotted Exxon stations for the Valdez disaster.

... How old are you? I was a little over one when that happened so I wasn't boycotting shit.
Again, quite literally.

I have mixed feelings about boycotting BP Stations; they are locally owned, and I can't help but think that we are hurting "the little guy" by boycotting the local BP station.

Sleep with wolves, etc etc.

I'll try and update from the road, but frankly, it may do me some good to unplug for a few days. It's been a highly negative week, and curiously, I'm not the cause of it; just the recipient.

Those are the times where I get my jump pack and lightning claws and start causing my own negativity.
There's a distortion field housed in each blade, and there's four blades on each hand. Biological material is nothing.

Saturday, my guild on WoW disintegrated. The girl who recruited me and her posse left. I logged on to find a bunch of new people (mostly High School/College-age boys) and people I considered friends gone.

High school and college age boys? At last, you can get something done.
If there's anyone you want in your guild, it's college boys.
Sure it may not result in your "rah rah girl power" attitude but I'm sure your characters won't complain.

The guild leaders were going on and on about "positive changes." I just sat and cried. It's dumb. And ridiculous.

I remember when my LS in FFXI had the "we need to make some changes" chat. The resulting response was "don't be a fag."

A heads up would have been nice. But my play-times are very casual, and as always, this "casual" guild is now hell-bent on progression.

Yeah that's kind of what my LS turned into too. But in FFXI they just call it "endgame" content because SE tries hard not to make it sound like a second job you have to pay for.
Also it isn't really a "progression" as such since most of the shit is situational because SE doesn't try to fuck you over with each expansion release like Blizzard does, hmm.

But I thought I had the "not normal" thing beat when I was a teenager. I grew. I lost 50 pounds. Got boobs. Had boyfriends. Lost the ever-present tissue box and traded it for a sic pack of Keystone Light.

I'm looking at a cunt in training.
Keystone Light, huh.

In between the years, my Thyroid quit (there's a fancy name for it; I'll get into that later.), my metabolism crashed, my tear ducts stopped working properly, my skin revolted on me, I got carpal tunnel in both wrists and one foot, my back went out semi-permanently. I had a miscarriage, and seven years later had a Hysterectomy because of disease.

This is the part in Warhammer where they'd replace half your body with bionics and you'd be able to crush an adult man's skull with one hand.

That's not normal. I'm 39 years old, and I have the cumulative problems of a 60 year old in poor health.

Oh she's 39. Or 60.

Because I'm a difficult patient. And nuts. Don't forget nuts. Completely batshit fucking insane.

Jesus Tapdancing Christ. Wouldn't YOU be?

No. No I'd just be waiting for the bionics.

Dune is a classic example. Campy shit in 1985 David Lynch's hands. Totally different story when made into a miniseries in 2000.

You know there was a book before both of those considered one of the top 5 greatest scifi books ever written, right?
So everything that follows this is "zzzz" and "hormonal issues" so I think I'm going to punch out now.

How am I not surprised?

I clicked on a community today (as indeed that's my major form of blog scouting now) called "Artists BEWARE!" and was amazed, amazed, to find most of the people posting are furries. What an unexpected turn of events!
So let's read a blog about two of my favorite things put together: furries and Pokemon! Like peanut butter and jelly, that.

I got a freaking job! YES!
I start on the 4th so I can still go to Otakon and have tons of fun!

OTAKON WOOOO BE A HUGE FURRY FAGGOT NERD AT AN ANIME CONVENTION!

Woohoo! I'm making a Ninetales costume. :3
Let's see if I can make the 2 week deadline. 8D

Welp there goes that idea for sunny day/NU support.
I hate it when furries do this. I think a Pokemon is kind of cool and maybe want one for one of my teams then someone on Livejournal talks about making a furry costume of it or having furry "yiff" time with it and suddenly I can't get the imagery out of my head and lose interest.
Now here's her ad for a Pokemon Party and I have no clue what that means and I'm not sure if I want to know.
Is it like a Pokemon tournament? PREPARE TO GET SWEPT.
Oh she's selling shit. All right, fair enough.

.. I think I killed Fa..

I tried uploading the cheetah head I just completed... and it crashed on me.

o.o;;;

I hate it when people on Livejournal do this. I WAS TRYING TO DO SOMETHING ON THE INTERNET AND IT DIED SO I KILLED IT. Holy fuck you people are bad at computers.
I wish I had that power, goddamn. Livejournal would never be up.
Also it looks like her favorite Pokemon is Gengar, too. Fantastic.

Me and my fiance are going to be opening up a fursuiting side business shortly..

Two morbidly obese people trying to have sex in fursuits. Let that sink in for a minute.
Now imagine the smell inside afterward.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Also this just in: "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" isn't a word unless it ends in a period. I don't get you sometimes, Firefox spellchecker.
So she's selling foam heads for FIFTY DOLLARS and it looks like something a child banged up in about five minutes with Play-Doh.

I love foaming heads and have decided to make some heads starting at only 50$ which includes a semi-moving jaw. That is a steal IMHO.

For fifty dollars I'd expect you to smooth the finish out a little bit. I can see where your giant hamfists failed to shape the clay.You couldn't even seal the mold afterward? This is lazy and you know it.

-squees and hopes for the best-

lol u did not just go thier

Oh hai der.

You're really pushing it today.

I see you see this is another posting.. Well, yay.

I refuse to acknowledge this as words written in a language.

I have been out and about for a while since things got really shitty at my mum's house with my stupid fuck of a brother. Cops were called, accusations where made, crying and freaking out as well.

"The rewards of being a furry" is how I'd caption this post.

We got tired and Kith a little scratched up so we headed home and then cleaned up and went to a restaurant called Edelweiss.

The tank from Valkyria Chronicles?
Or, no, was that the one unit from Front Mission 3?
All of these games are starting to run together, honestly.

I know not a lot of people like furries but I say why not? I'm fun and I just like fur (faux) a little more than the regular person.

Why not?
You people are drama magnets and are attention whores on almost unparalleled levels.

I have a furaffinity account. Look me up. I am poprock-the-stray on there.

I don't think I'll be doing that.
That does give me a good idea for next entry, though. Stay listening.

Good evening pussies

Ho boy you people sure have a lot of problems. I just found this fantastic community called "LJsecrets" because it's everything dramatic and stupid about Livejournal distilled into a series of images with font that's way too hard to read against the image (naturally). While it might be fun to review this community, too, it's way too hard to follow along because I'd have to copy images in and then there's user comments that are equally amusing and no, I'll just find someone who posts here, thanks.
My favorite post on this community, though, has to be "The night you brought home your BFF for a threesome with you and your girlfriend, I didn't just leave because I didn't want to hear it. The idea that you have two people dying to fuck you while I have none was killing me inside."
Ignoring the syntactical and grammatical nightmare these sentences are presumably this is a girl talking to another girl about two guys that want to fuck her. That's my best estimation of this situation, anyway.
Like, what, fucking people occurs in a vacuum? I'm sure you could go out and become the town whore if that was really your goal but it's so much easier and safer to bitch about it on the internet.
Anyway today we have the workings of Flavius Arrianus, better known as Xenophon, historian. I didn't know he was a girl living in the 21st century but apparently.
Oh no excuse me that's just the name of her journal. This is Emma. hi Emma :3
Pretty grandiose to have one of the world's most important historians chronicling your personal blog, huh?

In 9months I will be a nurse.
Kind of crazy no?

No, actually. So what? There are thousands upon thousands of nurses in the world.

I am doing a bit better now, I think the new meds are helping.

Nursing school is going well, and I have lost a ton of weight.

Also take a look at this fucking blog layout. I know it's probably supposed to be both unique and soothing to the viewer but it kind of makes me want to kill. That's what's supposed to happen while browsing Livejournal, right?

I want to peel off this chrysalis and spread blue and silver dusty wings to the sky and fly away,

Oh well let's just ride our chariot of rainbows into friendship.

I am not in a cocoon, I am really just a worm, and unlike caterpillers, worms don't morph into something beautiful, worms just stay worms.

Good you realize it. Now turn the wheel of bureaucracy forever until you die, unmourned and unloved. Peon.

God, life has been so hard lately in so many things- I am just feeling suffocated by things- I want to give everything away and float to neverland on a cloud.

I don't really have any other nonsense phrase regarding this kind of thinking other than "chariot of rainbows into friendship" and I can't really recycle that just yet.

I feel like I am smothered by all this surrounding hate- it is hard to wake up sometimes. Hard to make myself get out of bed.

Oh there's a picture of you. As expected.
Also don't color correct your photos that way. I can tell you're not that tan because your HAIR IS NOW GREEN, DUMMY.

I'm such a jerk, even though I don't mean to be. I don't really know how to deal with pressure, or things that bother me. I'm terrible with words when I am so full of emotion I can cliche'edly burst. :(

So let's sink another drink
'Cause it'll give me time to think
If I had the chance
I'd ask the world to dance
And I'll be dancing with myself

I hate it because it really hurts my feelings to see what people actually think of me, I think that the application should just show your 10 best traits and not the things that people don't vote for you at all.

Oh dancing with myself
Oh dancing with myself
Well there's nothing to lose
And there's nothing to prove
I'll be dancing with myself

Like, I know that I don't really have pretty eyes, or that I am not sexier than most- but come on, no one wants to be stuck in handcuffs with me for a day? That could be fun! Am I that uninteresting?

If I looked all over the world
And there's every type of girl
But your empty eyes
Seem to pass me by
Leave me dancing with myself

Blah, hate that application- though, it did make me feel pretty good to see that I am most intelligent- *puffs up her feathers*

Sorry everyone she's going on and on about nonsense and I just flashed back to the 80s for a full minute.

I'm sitting in my room lamenting the loss of my childhood, in that half-baked cookie kind of way.

In the what kind of way?
Sorry not everyone is as fat as you so food analogies aren't always the best way of expressing yourself here.

I miss the days when being an angsty teenager was okay,

Because you never really moved out of that phase of your life and it just seems silly now?

I am an insecure person and I can't help it.

I CAN'T HELP IT I AM HELPLESS PLEASE PITY ME :(

This is my emo rant.

I am sick and tired of things in my life.

AS OPPOSED TO YOUR OTHER POSTS? WHAT WERE THEY, THEN?
Holy shit strap in motherfuckers, this is post is going to be the ass.

I want to be pretty, I want to be thin, I want to be smart, I want to have a job I like, I want to be.....a useful member of society....

AS YOU WALK ON BY~
WILL YOU WALK AWAY?
COME ON AND CALL MY NAME
COME ON CALL MY NAAAAAAME
WILL YOU CALL MY NAME?
YOOOOW
I SAID LA LA LA

I hate that I don't feel like I am interesting to anyone.

Goddamn this blog goes on and on but the complete works of Billy Idol keep oooon coming, too, so it's okay.

I'm lonely, I realize. I'm lonely because I don't have anyone that I am really close to, and I don't have anyone who wants to be around me in a way that is not 'yeah were buds' you know?

So you might say that you're DANCING WITH YOURSELF?

I understand that I am not the most creative, or pretty, or even friendly outgoing- you know?

Didn't we already talk about this? I get it, you're ugly and unfriendly and not creative and you're a bore, can we please move on?
This is why no one likes you incidentally.

I am really sick of living in this mucky state.

I got a 62% on my first bio test....why?

I got a 97% on my first biology test in college.
Proud moment in college to be sure.

Well, this is what happened- our class average on that test was 43%

Ha, ha, yeah and my test was graded on a curve. OH I'M SORRY DID I FUCK EVERYONE'S AVERAGE UP FOR THIS TEST?
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I understand why people go to war.

Yeah, Ares tells them it's a good idea.
But don't listen to him, guys. He only cares about the slaughter.

I am done with being depressed I think.

Maybe

NOPE.
YOU ARE A BIG FAT LIAR.
I HATE YOU FOR IT.
Anyway I think that's enough because all this blog is is whining about not being pretty/smart/interesting whatever over and over and then Billy Idol songs for some reason.
But come to think of it I think that last part is my addition.

What the fuuuuuuck

Oh right, this. My entire schedule has been thrown off lately because the air conditioner done broke. Anyway here's the Monday entry on Wednesday. Deal with it, nerds.
I found this group called "Atheist Parents" which is as annoying as a group called "Christian Parents", honestly. I hate everyone.
As rousing as it would be to review this community in its entirety (and believe me I could) I still think it's better to single one of these assholes out.
Actually yeah on second thought let's go for the community as a whole. Fuck it.

Interesting thing happened today; one of my first quandaries as an atheist parent.

HI GUYS ATHEIST PARENT HERE DON'T HIT ON ME SILLY BOYS~

Basically, my son had gotten a $25 gift certificate to T.J. Maxx, so I took him there today to pick out toys. He's 7 years old, but he's still very little-kid in his tastes (he's autistic, and we don't have TV, so all his choices are based on his own lil' head).

I really care about whatever the fuck it is I'm reading.

Like I said, we don't have TV, so I ask him, "Hey, let's get a movie!" I start pointing things out: Thomas the Train, Coraline, Dora, whatever else I know he likes. But no. His sights were absolutely, positively set on...

>ask
>exclamation point
Grammar.
You may be an atheist but meanwhile I pray at the shrine of APOSTROPHOS, GOD OF GRAMMAR! (creature of my own invention)

...Veggie Tales: Madam Blueberry.

I don't think I have to explain what VTs is.

What-- oh, that. Yeah that was popular at my middle school. I just looked at everyone like they had mental problems (and apparently they did) and moved on with my life.
I'm just fine now.

I happen to think it's harmless, even cute, but do I REALLY want it in my home?

Well a particularly astute observer might suggest you're being as unreasonable as Christfags are when they're confronted with reason and scientific progress but that's just me.
I mean, really, if you were so secure in your position you'd tell your kid "hey yeah let's check this bullshit out but prepare for disappointment." That's what I'd tell my kid, anyway. The Bible is a bunch of bullshit but some of the stories can still be fun for children so why not?

So my problem at hand was my young, autistic, insistent son wanted a Christian children's show to be put in his collection.

I mean you had a choice between fucking Veggie Tales and Transformers. I think you fucked up somewhere but the kid is autistic so what are you going to do?
Now they're whining about trolls--

"My heart just melted. At dinner, Cassidy told me about having religion class in church today and how they learned about the stations of the cross. She said it was "really neat to learn about how terribly Jesus suffered for us." She continued by saying how happy she was to be able to go to school with Jesus every day.... It just doesn't get any better than that. $2450 in tuition. Worth every penny."

Too many quote marks.
Well you dumb shit you take your kid to private school without investigating further and this is what happens.

my husband and i are expecting our 2nd child in may , and we just found out that it's a girl! hooray for team amazon!

Amazons cut off their right breast so they could pull a bowstring back better.
Just putting it out there for the next time someone has "Amazon pride".

what i want is to have all my kids have good, science-based names

... Uh-huh?

so the first child was a boy and we named him Bruce Faraday (Lastname).

>Bruce
>scientific
You're starting to lose me.

That was relatively easy because many high-impact scientists are male.

You know many high-impact scientists have names straight from the motherfuckin' Bible, and many of these names have the further benefit of not being douche names.
I guess my point is your kid is more likely to be a success by having a decent name than some bullshit made up fuckery. I'm not saying your method is less scientific (it is) but I do have the weight of statistics behind me on this one.

The best idea I have for this girl is Delta G. Lastname.

Know what I think of when I hear a girl named "Delta"? Porn star.
Delta your new name is Delia.

You know, for Gibbs free energy. While I haven't decided what G-name goes with that middle initial, I think it's a good start.

G-name. What's your great grandmother's name? That's her goddamn middle name, fuck me.

Delta is a good, old-school southern name that is uncommon, off the top 100 list, NON-RELIGIOUS, and largely free of connotation.

... No it isn't, shut the fuck up you Southern idiot.

However, my husband is NOT in love with this idea and thinks it sounds like a name for a character of a bad 80s space horror movie.

And yet my proposition of taking children from unfit parents and raising them in a monastery setting for the purposes of raising the future generation of soldiers was met with universal horror from everyone I told.
What, like Delta Tinkerbell is any safer on the hands of these assholes.

2) remind me of other cool, high-impact female scientists (i'm a biochemist/geneticist so i may not be familiar with the founders of your field)

Want a high-impact female scientist name, asshole?
MARIE CURIE YOU FUCK.
Jeeeeesus Christ.
Mary. What a perfectly normal name.

I took the kids to the zoo the other day, mostly to have something to do for a morning that wasn't hanging about the house.

To the lion cages~
Then we'll check out the birds of prey.

TEAGAN (my daughter, age 5): I want to know all about this snake.

Teagan. Your new name is...
Errr, T-names. Tina.
Tina is a fine name.

VOLUNTEER LADY: Well, ask me questions and I'll tell you about him.

TEAGAN: Why does he have those spots on his back?

Well little Tina the snake has spots on his back so he can blend into his environment better. Then he strikes before his prey even knows he's present. In this way the snake can down opponents several times his size and strength.
Let this be a lesson, Tina: a dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords at dawn.

VL: Well, honey, about all I can tell you is it's the way God made him.

WE ALL MUST ADAPT TO OUR ENVIRONMENT, TINA. THE SUCCESSFUL PASS ON THEIR SUCCESS TO THE NEXT GENERATION AND THE WEAK BECOME MINUTIA.

TEAGAN: No. Oh, it's camouflage!

Camouflage is the color of fear. Remember that always, Tina.

See, what I objected to with the lady's comment was not them mention of God. Teagan doesn't have any real context for that word anyway, and if she'd asked I'd have explained it.

Well I guess I can see what you're trying for here but while you're raising your kid to be a butthurt faggot I'm turning her into a professional assassin.
I'm not saying my daughter is a lot cooler or anything but goddamn yours sucks.

Hello. I'm actually an agnostic (as is my fiancee), but am quite close to atheism. In other words, like Richard Dawkins, I admit I cannot prove God does not exist -- but I view his existence as no more or less likely than that of Zeus.

Making fun of Zeus, motherfucker?

I've noticed that really, REALLY religious Christian families tend to have really well behaved children, and that seems even more prominent if they have a greater number of children.

They're just well behaved because they fear rebuking, not because they're actually intrinsically motivated to do good.

Here's my question: Have you noticed that the more religious the parents are, the better behaved the kids are?

I'll tell you what I've noticed: parents that give a fuck about their kids tend to have better kids.

My 13 year old is studying the medieval world this year. This quarter they are starting units on the Muslim World.

"We have a lot to thank the Medieval Muslim World for. Without their dutiful preservation of even older Greek and Roman knowledge we would have been utterly without the Renaissance, not to mention their continued advancements on that knowledge."
Wow that was hard.

At the age of 16yrs old, my son was born and I chose not to baptize him. Everyday for the first year, my mother and Grandparents told me my baby would be going to Hell if I didn't baptize him.

EVERYONE KNOWS UNBAPTIZED BABIES GO TO LIMBO.
Assholes.

One little boy started verbally attacking my daughter over her support for Obama. He said Obama has a police record, wants to turn white people into slaves and doesn't believe in God. He then told my daughter that she's going to hell.

Blend in, Tina. Be like water flowing around a rock. While the rock cannot harm the water, over time the water erodes the rock.

The teacher got involved and demanded to know whether or not my daughter had said that. She said she hadn't. The boy insisted that she had. The teacher said to my daughter, "Do you believe in God or don't you?" My daughter admitted that she doesn't. I don't know what happened after that because at that point my daughter started crying.

The teacher has all the power in this situation. Bide your time until she doesn't, Tina. It may not seem fair now (because it isn't) but there will come a time when this lesson is useful for you.

I have two little girls who have never seen, smelt, felt, walked in, or jumped in autumn leaves.

Lucky them.

“Okay, fine. I…I kind of got into a God fight in the cafeteria yesterday.”

HEY, ARE YOU WINNIN'?
What the fuck is a "God fight"? Is that what you kids are calling the Crusades these days?
Oh forget it. No one knows how to raise children anymore, goddamn. That's a sad state of affairs when a 22 year old guy with no air conditioning has to tell you what's what.

Super Barf IV

People have just been making a general nuisance of themselves lately. Standing in my way and just freezing in place to talk to their friends or whatever. It's like everyone is playing a game that I'm not invited to that will soon involve me punching them in the head.
Anyway here we go for today: Sassymisss (ruh-roh)

Two weeks ago I went on a date with a man I really felt was/is confused about his sexuality.

She knows you better than you know yourself, asshole. Listen up now.
So already this is really presumptuous but I must admit no girl has ever said this to me because I'm basically a paragon of manliness but let's see.

He reminded me of those guys who every one knows is gay years before they admit it themselves and then when they "come out of the closet" everyone says "We already knew."

So one of those guys-- what? She acts like everyone knew someone like this.
Actually wait yes I did know someone like this, huh.

He was very fun to be with and I instantly felt comfortable with him. I was back in seventh grade though. He was my best guy friend that afternoon and I could tell him anything, even about the other "boys" I'd recently been on dates with and we poked fun at the situations we'd found ourselves in, and we'd laugh hysterically and he'd poke me on the side and playfully push his body into me.

Wow I just copied this in and it looks even longer now. I want to edit it down a bit but I'm not sure where to cut and not get half a thought. Please self-edit for clarity as well as length.

I acted completely silly and goofed off with him as if I really was 13 again.

Wow look at how self-confident & zany she is-- oh man huge yawn just now.

I'd explain certain scenarios and attempt to act them out in front of him on an imaginary stage.

How old are you?
I know you were just making a joke (using "joke" loosely) about being back in middle school but I'm being serious. How old are you?

This all took place at a museum. We'd even poke fun at people we saw at the museum. Laughs galore, yes. But there was not one iota of physical attraction.

Hey I asked you a question. How old are you?

I really saw us becoming the best of friends or if for some crazy reason I decided to put my own feelings about his confusion of his sexuality aside and decide to date him, then I'd see myself in a "Will and Grace" situation.

Bro got friend zoned.

Really. He had a passion for female singers but he had an obsession with Regina Spektor.

Who?

He said "Regina, I felt, filled a void within me that I felt I always had, my whole life." Well, he meant that her songs filled this "void." Men don't speak like that, at least, heterosexual men don't.

Except Musashi who had an entire chapter in his book about having a void in you and being the void itself and shit.
No big deal just killed 40+ in honorable duels. With swords.
Certainly no pansy, anyway.

At the end, or near the end, he asked me to send him an email letting him know what I thought about our date.

Really, dude?

"Really?" I asked, "that's a bit awkward." "Is it?" he replied. "Well, I think so. I mean, seriously, you want me to do that?"

All right I think I just realized a problem with my own critiquing system. Had this been a fictional story I would have said "real people don't talk like this" but evidently yes, they do.
I guess I should rephrase that: "real people who aren't cunts don't talk like that."

"Well," he says," I guess not. I just wanna see how you feel about the situation, see if you might wanna go out again."

All right, whatever.

Well, there it was. He was asking me out again. It was a funny way to ask.

What a fag. Dating girls, what does he think he is? A girl? Wait, no--

(His straightforwardness was also a bit much for me. Men aren't usually in the vicinity of asking for a second date before the first one ends.)

Straightforwardness, definitely a trait considered feminine. Wait, no--

"It was fun. I laughed a lot, thank you. I think you may be gay."

Here would be my response to this text message:
"sick burn but seriously when can I pick you up?"
Of course I'd never date this cunt in the first place but this was kind of a hypothetical situation where I would.

I hope this doesn't make me sound petty or shallow but I don't think there is a way around it.

I already think you're pretty shallow so no risk here har har har

I have always believed that to find someone who you will form a truly significant relationship, it would have to be someone you already know, be it through school, growing up, friend of a friend, work and so on.

Wow, what an idea! To form relationships with people you have to, pfft, form relationships with people!

I always valued that idea. With our ever advancing technology and the internet,

I was rereading an essay I wrote last night and realized I included both the phrases "dark age of technology" and "relentless march towards an unblinking future". I have no idea what the latter one means but I don't think I was thinking about "writing about reading".
Relentless march towards an unblinking future. I think that's what space marines do.

"Online dating" is not at all like dating in the realm of your own physical world.

Oh really? The internet isn't physical?

Pictures are very important because one must be visually appealing to the other sex, first and foremost.

If you're crafty you can bypass the whole picture thing I'd wager.

I was shocked! How could someone represent themselves a certain way online and know that when they come to meet you in person they will notice the difference?

Yes the way I represent myself online is totally how I am in the real world.
Putz.

I did not know how I was to excuse myself from this "date" and I wasn't brave enough to say anything. I couldn't be anything other than polite and have conversations.

I was trying to think of a good Warhammer quote for this situation but I'm pretty sure the society that proclaims "there is no truth, only death" probably doesn't have much of an issue with lying.

It seems I've been absent for a while. The reason being is because my "love life" or my dating has had a significant lack of interest.

... Uh-huh?

Dating is hard enough to do when you meet someone alone, online dating I have found to be a bit more difficult.

Wait, are you implying all the shit that follows is interesting?

I have been on so many dates since the inception of my new decade and I haven't met a decent, probable candidate to sweep me away as I have hoped.

Inception of your new decade what?
I guess you just hit 30 (or 20 but that hardly seems something to be concerned about) and so you have to use this weird language that doesn't make much sense because, what, you fear aging?

I also started to wonder recently if maybe I may be my own obstacle in finding love. Do I give off the air of "I'm a fun girl and I just want to have fun?"

Let me put your fears at ease: no. So far you seem the opposite of fun, actually.

Do I not, in my personality, exert that I am a great person and I do want to find love? Am I just a fun first date?

Rhetorical question with an answer: you're not fun.

These questions pose a concern for me. If the answers are "yes," 'no," and "yes" how do I change this?

The answers are, in order, "no, no and no" and you should be more concerned.

In the past week and a half I had an exciting three first-date stint.

Oh my God do you think shit about shit? Do you know anything at all about... Not this?

I was home with my daughter and eleven year old cousin

You have a daughter?
First I'm hearing of this.
Wouldn't you think to mention something as significant as a daughter before now? Shouldn't you be looking for someone who is potentially a good father for your child? Shouldn't you, more importantly, be there for your dumb kid?

First of all, I'm certain I mentioned in my first post that I'm 30, single and looking for "ridiculous, can't-live-without-each-other love."

Doesn't exist, raise your stupid kid and shut up.

I'm 30, single, mom, waitress, I have an English Lit. degree from a very expensive school, currently looking to find my niche in writing and, to boot, a job in the same.

What a degree in just English gets you, folks.
I can differentiate between reality and fantasy, so I may not find "ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love" but a girl can dream.
I hate you.
Anyway this looks like her very first entry so that means I made it all the way through her blog without choking on my own vomit.
Hurray!

It's the Ragin' Contagion

Why is everything in DQIX a pun or portmanteau?
I guess it was always this way but goddamn.
Oh right, here we have a guy I think. Or it might be a girl. I can't really tell, as usual.
No, no I'm pretty sure it's a guy. Maybe.

i guess it often all just hits at once.
here's the story, just because...i dunno.

"I dunno" is a great reason to tell a story.
"I dunno here's a story about my journey to Hell or whatever. Guess it's kind of interesting, maybe not--"

so my church has this social networking site. yea, it's a little like fb, but it's more for connecting with people in the church and spreading info across the church in an efficient manner.

Huh. Couldn't you just, I don't know, announce this shit on Sundays when you've already roped everyone in and they're compelled to listen?

they send you like once a week updates in email of new posts & threads. i opened my email today. i rarely check these cause i don't use the site that much. one is a guy who is selling a flatscreen tv. i'm semi-interested so i click on to read about it. from the last i've known, it's my ex's bf. in the text he says that he's selling it because he needs cash because he's getting married in october.

... Okay?

so you sit there and think, "so the fuck what?" and that should be my reaction, too.

You better be arriving at the point or you're looking at a beating.

but it isn't. why does it bother me? it shouldn't, but it still does. i have no idea how to cut this out of my heart & mind. i thought i had already done it. i thought it was over. i thought my heart had moved forward.

Oh it's one of these blogs. Great.
You know, THESE blogs.

people say "you just have to move on."

i say, "how?"

"By not being such a goddamn pussy, how do you think?"

most people say, "it takes time."

i say, "it's been 16 months. how much longer is this going to take? how can i rid her from my fucking thoughts? how can i cut her out of my heart? i (clearly) don't know how to do this."

Whatever, powder puff.

what the fuck happened to honesty?

>People
>honest
youuuu.

i'm really tired of being drawn to people who can't be real with me. i'm never deceptive. i'm always upfront and honest and as sincere as i can be. i used to think those were admirable traits. i thought girls looked for those kinds of things in a guy. am i taking fucking crazy pills, here?

YES YOU ARE. WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?

dear you,

we were lovers, once. i remember those looks you used to give me, the ones where you looked into my eyes with all the hope and admiration in the world and just smiled endlessly with me.

Hoo-boy. Do you talk about anything else or am I in for the long haul here?

i still remember the day you left me. i remember how you cried, how i cried.

yet, one thing still bothers me. if you left me, why won't you get the fuck out of my dreams?

Zzzzzzz

you're a sweet girl & i miss you dearly. i truly hope you're doing well in this world & that you're taking good care of yourself.

Bitch left you, remember.
I know you're trying to be captain righteous here and the bigger person and all but you're still within your rights to tell her to get fucked.
I think a little conviction would serve you well, actually. Maybe the bitches would stop treating you like a goddamn pushover, which is what you are.

i hope you're eating more than just bowls of rice. if you've got a boyfriend, i hope he makes you feel beautiful.

"I hope you downgrade because you certainly aren't doing better than me you stupid cunt. I hope it takes you six months to realize it and then it'll be too late. I wish you a long life of mediocrity before an unfulfilling death."

i hope you realize what an awesome person you are. keep chasing your dreams, kiddo. you're an amazing artist. you'll change this world if you try.

"Death becomes you."

it's not that we should lower our expectations of people, per se

Speaking of today I'm getting my group project. I'm looking forward to a simple task made incredibly difficult due to the human factor. It'd be one thing if you idiots just let me do it (yeah yeah not fair to me, trust me it's easier than guiding your stupid asses through it) but nope, we have to cooperate.

but we should have more realistic expectations of our friends or lovers. they're human, too. just like us.

The huge difference here is I'm not trying to make life more inconvenient for myself.

seek after grace in your heart to make room for the faults of others.

Do what and what? Listen, I'm sure they're fine people. I just don't want to work with them.

the job?

transportation security officer. at the louisville international airport! (:


see if you make it through my security checkpoint....

Is that a come-on or a challenge?

but seriously, things are going well for me and my new ladyfriend, ashley. we talked about pursuing a dating relationship. i told her that i like her & i'm interested in getting to know her more and i that i want to proceed slowly & with caution.

Let's see. This was May 10th. Today is July 14th (or "69 days until FFXIV" as I've come to label the days), so that means this bitch he's mooning over he has known for perhaps only two months.
Unless this is another bitch he's mooning over in which case you should probably focus on the here and now.

my challenge is not projecting my past relationship to this one.

Oh I should read further before commenting.
Listen to me: shut up.

i have to say, there is a guy in my life who is an honest man. i get to work with him a lot of nights and he's just really encouraging. he tells things like it is, no matter how hard it may be to hear. he's one of the truest, most real people i've ever known.

Read: he agrees with me on issues important to me.

anyways, i talk relationships with him a lot. and he's been through pretty darn close to the same thing i've been going thru, so it's been good to just talk with him.

See?
When people say they want someone "real & honest" what they really mean is "I want people to agree with my world view."

Romans 12:21
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Silly Romans.

there's a rhetorical question that goes like this:

why put a new address on the same old loneliness?

There's another good rhetorical question that goes like this: "why are you such a douche?"

let's all clap for the american assholes who don't give a shit about starving people in the world:

The article he links is about a woman who wants to weigh 1000 pounds.
While this is a crime on numerous levels one thing I don't think you can accuse her of, per se, is not caring about starving people. Our pussy here seems to be taking the incredibly large leap of logic that "eating food = denying other people food" which I guess in a hyper-literal sense is true (technically acquiring power of any kind is, at some point, denying that power to someone else)
but for all he knows when she's not devouring entire McDonald's she's volunteering at her local homeless shelter.
Of course she's likely just watching Jerry Springer, but my point is he doesn't know this.
Besides it's a well-documented fact that many of the famines in Africa especially are artificially created by the governments there and this country alongside many others provide ample food for the entire population only to have most of it rot in warehouses.
So I guess the lesson here is don't provide people food without a solid infrastructure to get it to them.

Dear you,

one year ago, today, you left me. we became you and me.

Hey, listen to me. Marking time that way sucks. I only have to count down 69 days and already it feels like forever.
Although if you're in high school and are dreading going back to school, let me tell you a way to make your summer last for an eternity: sign up for a douchey class in the summer and look forward to something in the fall.
Enjoy your endless summer.

-i'm getting a tattoo soon, hopefully within the month

Cool. What's it going to be? Tribal band? Chinese letters?
Something pretentious?

just a few days ago, there i was, reading & writing down at Quills, the best coffee shop ever.

then she walked in...

"Oh it's you" and back to business.
Be polite but don't act like you really want to talk to her.

and immediately i was nervous. i mean, we haven't spoken in months.
i miss her.

but there she was, just a few feet away from me. her. this person i once looked in the eyes and called "best friend". and there i was, unable to even talk to her.

i decided to try to start a conversation. awkward.

Nope, let her approach you.

it was simple, catch-up conversation. how's school? how's work? you look nice. you know, the simple stuff. polite.

No you don't care that much. Let her ask all the questions. Reciprocate because it's the polite thing to do, but you're not all that interested so you have to go soon.
Listen to me I'm making you less of a goddamn sad sack.

lately i have been going through a lot of my old writings and reading what i used to write.

I found a story I wrote about four years ago and it was a lot better than I remembered.
Man I'm awesome.

so i got all nervous-like in my loins. after like 30 minutes, i work up the nerve and i go out and sit at the table with her. we start talking a little bit then just go for it. i say(and maybe it's stupid, but it's what i said): "if you're otherwise not seeing anyone else, i'd like to go out with you sometime." of course i expected rejection because this never works out for me.

Listen to me. You don't care if she's seeing anyone else. He's not your bro, you don't have to worry about stepping on his toes. Fuck that guy.
So anyway I'm getting a fucking headache now. I have to ready up for the "HUGE" (massive sarcasm quotes) quiz I have today. How am I ever going to answer a multiple choice test about Gardner's Multiple Intelligences or Vygotsky's theory of social learning and Zone of Proximal Development (ZPD, also known as scaffolding?)
It'll be a close call, here.

Such is the fate of the enemies of man

Here's some shit. You have to agree you are over 14 to read each entry and yet she still censors all of her language what's the point

Did you know .....

*Acting isn't really acting... it is simply playing off each other emotions..

Acting isn't even acting, man. Deep.

*You can kill a man if you kick him hard enough in the face....

Did you know it only takes 10 pounds of pressure in the right direction to break an adult male's neck? Keep that in mind.

June 16th we met for a walk in the park...

Silently walking around kicking our feet. He was one of my first of many dates to come. There was trails behind the trails in the park, slightly little off roads of hiking.

TRAILS BEHIND THE TRAILS AND OFF ROADS AND KICKING FEET THIS IS GOOD, CLEAR, CONCISE WRITING

Walkin around trails as we talk about really nothing of importance. Stories about basic life, old relationships.... both very closed books, but yet attracted by the paper back covers wraped around our pages.

Our mom's are both saints...well,... his mom is a saint and I said my mom is an angel.

Plurals~

ok ...... remeber those gothic type teddy bears they used to sell at like a hot topic and spencers.

"remeber"
this is becoming so common pretty soon it'll be standard spelling.
No, you illiterate halfwits, "remeMMMMMMMMber" has some extra consonants in it. You don't even say "remeber" unless you live in the hills or some shit.

what where they called?...

..............Teddy Scares.... ( that actually took a while to figure out )

So here's the scene at my house currently:

"I am Society's Abortion"

I had a good friend (oh mister man ) say this to me today.

If a friend said this to me I think we'd stop being friends. What a cunt.

I sat there racking heads and Smashing minds on different points of the world.

I'm guessing it doesn't take much for your mind to smash or your brain to wrack. Meanwhile my brain is still full of fuck.

Why we so scared of being judged?

I FEAR NO MAN.

As I shake your hand or give you a hug, I can tell you're eyein me up

No I'm not.

Your judgin me before I even handed you the opportunity to get to know me.

Oh yeah because you're so deep and there's so much to know.

People are so amazing if you get to know them.

Not really.

I'm an open book, but just like a book you wanna start with page one, sometimes you get lost if u start in the middle.

You remind me a lot of a school book.
That is, I'm kind of obligated to read and say I will read and may get as much as a half in before getting bored and just looking up the summary online and then getting an A on the test because, lo and behold, there's not that much to know in the first place.

I'm AWESOME and I know it!

My name is Anna (on-ah)

Onna. Are you Russian? You better fucking be.

Lets meet up and see where it goes... you could be my something special or I could be yours.

Let's not. How about that?

We never know... don't try and play with me like I'm a doll, I'm smarter then that. I'll pick you apart and figure you out if you try.

You couldn't figure out a VCR.

I’m not all clingy and needy, but I like attention

No, a girl on Livejournal wants attention?
I don't even believe it.

I wont pry for it, if I don’t get it that’s okay, just don’t get mad at me if someone else does give me attention and they steal my interest.

Oh so you're a whore. I get it.

I have an insane sex drive but I’m not slutty. Being whore-ish just seems so morally unjustified.

Recent textual evidence would suggest otherwise.

So tell me…. Did I peak your interest?

You didn't pique, peak, peek or Pict my interests.
Anyway I think I'm out. Got this thing to do where I go to school and learn about empowering vocabulary or something I don't even know what's going on please help me.

Ho-hum

Do you know what Linux is?
Well, it's sort of like Windows in that it's an operating system, but it's totally different from Windows. Linuxfags will claim Windowsfags are slaves to Microsoft and how Linux frees you (I don't think that's how this shit works bro but whatever), but the acute irony of the entire thing is most Linuxfags are slaves to their own PC, because most of the operating system's drivers require you to at least compile them yourself, or sometimes outright write code to get shit to work.
With that out of the way, let's begin~

This art­icle is for you if you’re a Cana­dian foot­ball fan, you don’t have cable TV, you use an oper­at­ing sys­tem which doesn’t run Microsoft Sil­ver­light (such as Linux) and you can’t afford to go out to the bar all the time to watch foot­ball games.

So you're writing yourself an article. I see.

I may have described only one per­son (myself)

Oh. Well, at least you're self-aware.
So now he goes through the process of getting this... Whatever to run. Take note that a Windows user would have just installed Silverlight (fuck I hate Silverlight) and be done with the mess (after you reset five times to get all the updates). Let's see what working this sorcery on Linux entails.

The first and most import­ant part is to install rtm­p­dump, a util­ity which you will use to actu­ally down­load the video stream. I’m using a rel­at­ively ancient ver­sion of rtm­p­dump and I don’t think it mat­ters par­tic­u­larly which ver­sion you use.

Okay so you need the toolkit first. This makes sense, I guess, and an internet savvy person could find this easily, so I guess it's not too bad so far.

From there all that is needed is a way to get the rtmp URLs of the game you want. To use the script below, you give it a link to a game you want to down­load — some­thing of the form http://​watch​.tsn​.ca/​c​f​l ​-​g​a​m​e​s​-​o​n​-​d​e​m​a​n​d​/​w​e​e​k​-​1​-​a​l​o​u​e​t​t​e​s​- ​v​s​-​r​o​u​g​h​r​i​d​e​rs/

I guess this all stands to reason.

#!/​bin/​bash
match_​name=$(echo “$1″ | sed ‘s,\(http://.*\)\(week-[^/]*\)\(.*\),\2,’)
q=0
# get through all the videos (quar­ters) linked to by the given game (“epis­ode”)
for i in $(wget –q –O — “$1″ | fgrep ‘#clip’ | sed ‘s/\(.*#clip\)\([0 – 9]*\)\(.*\)/\2/’ | uniq) ; do
src=$(wget –q –O  — “http://​esi​.ctv​.ca/​d​a​t​a​f​e​e​d​/​f​l​v​ /​u​r​l​g​e​n​j​s​.​a​s​p​x​?​vid=$i” | sed ‘s@\(.*\)\(rtmp://.*\.flv\)\(.*\)@\2@’ | tr –d ‘\n\r ‘)
echo “sav­ing from $src“
echo “sav­ing to $match_​name-$q.flv“
rtm­p­dump –r “$src” –o “$match_​name-$q.flv“
q=$(($q + 1))
done
# cre­ate dummy file so we don’t know before­hand if a game went into over­time
if [ $q –eq 4 ] ; then
touch “$match_​name-$q.flv“
fi

What.

I bought a new laptop a couple days ago. For the past 6 years I’ve been using Macs just about exclus­ively; for the past 3 years or so it’s been my Mac­Book that’s been my main machine.

I see, so Linux is where you go when Mac is no longer pretentious enough for you.

Fuck! This! (said as Crispin Glover from Drunken History: Nikola Tesla)

What.
I just noticed your avatar, man. It's really bothering me. Stupid shit-eating grin, knock that the fuck off.

I'm itchy all over. Just a little bit. The Internet informs me this is either dry skin, an allergic reaction, an iron deficiency, liver disease, kidney disease, an intestinal parasitic infection or lymphoma.

Anyone else rooting for lymphoma?

I'm usually one of the first to talk trash about linguistic prescriptivists.

Definitely rooting for lymphoma now, Jesus Christ.

And then stomp on their glasses when they're crying. The irony is that I actually try to stick to prescriptively correct grammar in my own speech.

I roll my eyes at who people claim that English has a subjunctive—

Err-- "She was required" would be subjunctive, wouldn't it? Since it requires a conjunction, hence sub- -junct-ive? Am I crazy here?

but at the same time I use the subjunctive in my own speech and I start envisioning bloody trails of dismembered limbs whenever I hear a sentence start with "if I was ..."

Am I going insane?

I think the issue of prescriptivism vs. descriptivism extends far beyond grammar.

All right chucklehead let me solve your problem for you. Grammar is descriptive (that is, "describes shit that we see and do" to to all you non-assholes) to a point, but at some point some people (sometimes even one person) sits down and decides for all of us this is how we should be speaking grammatically (that's the prescription part, where someone prescribes how language should work).

So, back to prescriptivism in linguistics. There's a very interesting class of words in English called auto-antonyms, words which are their own opposites.

All right it's far too early in the day for my brain to be filled with this much fuck. I don't even have class for another two hours.

The word "literally" literally means "not literally" (depending on what dictionary you go by).

... No it doesn't. The word "literally" comes from "literal" plus "-ly". It means "involving" or "in accordance with" (there's another subjunctive for you, asshole).
Many people use it in a one-off, sarcastic manner but that doesn't mean the word itself has a whole new meaning. If I say sarcastically "wow, you're a really cool dude" am I suddenly going to rewrite the dictionary definition of cool to read "not cool"? No, because I'm not living in a 1984 dystopia where the government is trying to reduce language to only one word: "yes".

Some of you might cry bloody murder and say "those aren't the correct uses of those words, though!" to which I would reply "fuck you, prescriptivist, and prepare to have your glasses stomped on".

You don't even have an argument for your bullshit outside of threatening physical violence.
That is a good point. Those aren't correct usages of those words. What do you have to say about that?

This isn't a new phenomenon, either.

Hey I asked you a question. How are those correct?

So far as I can tell, there are three solutions to this problem:
Become a more literal Nazi and install a brutal dictatorship

I skipped some shit just to highlight this point.
So your only answer to someone who disagrees with you is to threaten and then call them a Nazi.
Okay, nothing to see here.
I don't even give a shit about this, what's it, descriptivist versus prescriptivist bullshit because quite frankly no one does and it's so stupid and petty only pretentious college idiots have enough free time to argue this nonsense, but I do enjoy pointing out you're an idiot.

As any­one born around 1980 would know, gam­ing reached abso­lute per­fec­tion with the release of NHL ’94.

Excuse me?

I think I’ll work a bit more on the novel today, some­thing I haven’t done in prob­ably a couple months. I always kind of knew, but it’s become increas­ingly obvi­ous that the core of the novel isn’t so much a story as an explor­a­tion of human­ity, the defin­i­tion of human­ity and espe­cially the rela­tion­ship between human­ity and lan­guage

I think we're done here.
He's like a triple-nerd, I can't believe it.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell

I think I'm in for some shit today. This is just as well, because tomorrow officially begins the summer semester, and I have to answer such pressing questions as "what is literacy?" and "can watching TV count as being literate?" (read: no). So for a glorious one month my brain wasn't full of fuck. Back at it, I suppose.
One look at the title confirms a few things: "Just_a_girl86" is absolutely a cunt, but at least, for once, gender isn't an issue. At least, it probably isn't. Oh God, what if this is actually a guy pretending to be a girl?
Fuck me.

When is appology acceptable or needed.

Apology. Also question marks.

Do you need to appologize when it's your fault?

Lessons I learned when I was six, hello.

well yes of course. Should you appologize when it's both of your fault. Yes both of you should.

Thank you life guru.

But should you appologize if it's not your fault. I don't think so,

Never apologize for anything. Apologies imply you did something wrong.

but I do. I do for the love of my boyfriend. When He does something that isn't right to me I get mad and then he gets mad. He should be the one to appologize but guess what, I end up appologizing. Because I love him so much.

Herp durp durrr

Worrying sucks. I always worry way to much. I worry about everything. When I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING!

"High school students entering the 9th grade are encouraged to create complex, interesting sentences."
Ho-hum.

I worry about my boyfriend and everything about him and us. I will literally worry my self sick. I don't know why I do though. It's stupid.

You, doing something stupid? Surely you jest!

I know nothing is wrong or is going to be wrong. But I worry anyway. I worry about my friends dying. They are young! I don't know why I worry.

Fear is the mind-killer.

I believe it has something to do with hormones and memories.

Hey, hey how do you make a hormone?

I believe everything is based off perspective. I believe the way people see love and life is acording to thier perspective.

Oh wow.
No shit. I thought everyone had the same perspective as me.

So i'm going to start off by saying yes I am young. But I dont understand why age has a limit on love. Everyone always says, "Your to young to know what love is." But honestly when is the right age to love?

You don't know shit about shit. Shut the fuck up you middle school asshole.

Moving on to my boyfriend and I. I have been with him for almost 2 months now. I know not long but it seems like forever.

Seems like forever when you're 12, maybe.
Although I don't know what I mean by that because FFXIV's release date was announced only a week ago and already it feels like a fucking eternity.
ONLY THREE MONTHS WOOOOOO~

But lately we have been fighting alot. He says im clingy, I say he makes me mad, he says im annoying. We fight over little things. But it is very annoying.

Hmm. I believe both of them.
Oh Christ, I just had a thought. "just_a_girl86". Of course. 86 implies she was born in 1986, doesn't it? This bint is older than me.
No. Nope, refuse to acknowledge this as a reality.
And it looks like I'm all the way up to her very first post. This didn't take very long. Did I mention how much I fucking hate Livejournal's new format?
I don't really know what I mean by "new format" because it's the exact same shit minus a couple of important details. Oh well, hopefully by Wednesday's post I will have this fully resolved.
Or I'll quit forever.
No really.
Maybe.

The Crusade of Stupid Continues

I found a way to get random journals from Livejournal-- the problem is you cannot limit your searches by any means. At least all of these blogs seem to have updated this very day, but the other problem is it takes me about 15 tries to just get one in English.
All the while the 99 cent clip art pinwheel is spinning happily in the corner. I bet I could order 150000000 of them by the time I found a single blog to review. Fuck you, Livejournal.
Oh look, I found a way to filter by journal but it only filters for my journal entries (of which there are none).
What the fuck?
So after much fussing I finally found something.
I had to want it, man.

Unloved, unloved, you brutish son
So make me tall and brave and strong
Your cruel grin and your boots of violence
It is not of these that I do love.

... Why did I pick this blog again? I mean this is bad, but-- what has become of my life?

It is your tongue, your tongue, your tongue
How I shall steal it away and keep it in a jar
To fill me with mad delights, the passion of crime
Wild-eyed boy sans civil tongue.

What

Eyes may roll but ne'er may they shut
Poor brutish son, rather driven mad
To wash you clean and pure and young
All but your tongue, little son.

I think I need a moment.
Okay I've rallied.

It is here in these empty canals that the spirits dwell,
the wind a strange bedfellow.

Does the wind blow in a canal? Maybe in these canals it does.

The tired glass and pretty coins in windows
wait in a lonely, solemn peace.

Coins in windows-- what?

Red, green, golden hues on land that once held birth.

Why am I reviewing this, again?
I only have one complaint about this blog (and it is a big one): THIS MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE.
This is absolutely incoherent to me. I might as well be reviewing one of the thousands of Russian blogs I stumbled on before this.

It rained all through the departure. The people on the dock fussed with umbrellas and coats, for they did not want to say goodbye, really.

The dock, eh?

It seems people often become strangers when saying goodbye.

Were they watching the ships roll in?

Some came just to see the magnificent ships, and they were truly a breathtaking sight to behold. They were very beautiful, albeit a touch cold.

I left my home in Georgia, headed for the 'Frisco Bay
'cause I've had nothing to live for,
and looks like nothing's gonna come my way

The voyagers were to go to a new world, a strange and fantastic place which the people knew nothing about.

To the East, to Morrowind.
Fear not, for I am watchful.
No, no wrong thing. Again.

The rain was forgotten as all watched the ships rise steadily into the air. Higher and higher they rose, until even the sharpest of eyes could no longer discern the ships.

Oh they're space travelers.
Uhh-- I know where I'd like to send whoever wrote this: Armageddon.
What happens there?
Nothing big, just an ALIEN INVASION.

They had all heard the tales of the departure, but the brilliant light that bathed the launch dock as the ship doors opened went far beyond their most exotic dreams. It was in this light that the voyagers took their first breath of the quiet air, walking from their coruscating ships onto the landing dock like a realized future.

Took their first breaths of quiet air, like a tortured metaphor. Oh fuck me it's poetry time again.

sweet dreams, dream train
train of thought.

Suddenly I'm reminded of both the Eurythmics and Ozzy Osbourne.

From Dr. Polidori's Lord Ruthven to Stephenie Meyer's Edward Cullen, the annals of vampire lore are filled with attractive, charming bloodsuckers. Which one would you most want to be bitten by?

NONE, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?
Vampires are supposed to be monsters. You destroy monsters, you do not feel sympathy for them.

I answer this only because I have been reading Anne Rice for the past month or so. The Vampire Lestat sits beside me as I type this.

Anne Rice is to blame for all this. Remember when vampires were fuck awesome and not whiny pussies?
Yeah I miss that.

Before proceeding to the main attraction, the people were requested to remove their shoes and watches.
They were to be placed in safety boxes until a later time.

No I'm keeping my shoes. Fuck you.

While the people were busy watching, the machines were busy outfitting each individual with his or her very own action suit.

Action suit.

The suits, like the television programs, were much the same.

Does this mean the suits are like the ones seen on TV (still not sure what an action suit is?) or does this mean the action suits are like the television programs, and that is all the same?
Participles are crafty, they are.

At the end of the tour, a small serial number was painlessly and neatly printed at the napes of their necks.

So I'm a Space Marine now.
Oh forget it. I am so pissed at Livejournal now. The one amusing feature they completely removed. It's like they're trying to find a way to turn douchebaggery into a weapon. They're coming dangerously close at any rate.