Oh hey what's going on in here

OH SHIT
Anyone know where I can get a skull fossil in Pokemans, incidentally? No one on Earth seems to have one and it's really troublesome because I need a Cranidos for egg moves on Aggron.
It's critical.I'd get one myself but due to the fucked up way they handled Cranidos/Shieldon in Platinum I'm kind of stuck with shitty old Shieldon.
Speaking of giant dinosaurs with ridiculously armored noggins, I defeated Barroth in Monster Hunter, too. It has been a very dinosaur week.

So I have this poem that I wrote about Helen and John. It's basically John's thoughts as he asks Helen to marry him. I've put it up on various sites but I don't think it's specifically on this journal. Anyway, it'll follow.

COULD WE BE SO FORTUNATE? SO FORTUNATE AS TO GET TO READ THIS GREAT POEM?

BUt the improtatnt thing is I submitted it to my school's literary magazine and .....

THEY PUBLISHED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm pretty sure if you submit something it gets published, I don't know.

Angel's Light

Angel's night, Angels bright

Angel bathed in golden light

Never stray far from my sight

Angel show me what is right

>AAAA BBBB CCCC rhyming scheme

This is a review that was just left on the part of my Dragon Series:

Incoming bottomsore.

Okay, the story is fun but I have one problem. Despite TV shows, people do not get shot and then walk around later in the day.

John Wayne disagrees.

If you want the story to be unrealistic, put a comment in your write up that its going to be "cinematic" so people know not to expect any reality. Okay?

Gee sorry for not mentioning a story called "Dragon Series" might be a tad unrealistic.

Seriously? The fact that people are turning into Dragons didn't clue you in that this was going to be less than realistic?

Yeah, fuck you, reviewer. You know you have fucked up when I'm taking a blogger's side on an issue.

Side note: Squee needs to be one of the moods on here.

All right I took your side on one small issue, don't press your luck.

I have realized something about all my favorite couples recently.

Great, don't give a shit. Why are you telling me all this?

God, I'm so mad I'm either going to cry or scream or both. Feel free to skip over this post if you don't want to deal with a whiny college student venting.

Ha, ha, that poem got published in a college literary magazine?
Can't say I'm entirely surprised but goddamn, that's high school shit.

I was so excited for this day because I had a presentation so I wanted to break in my new green corset. I bought this thing months ago and have just been waiting for a chance to wear it. I made my own choker to go with it, put my hair in a high ponytail, added a ribbon, I was feeling great.

English majors.
Incidentally I have seen soooooome shit in my college career. Furries, people dressed like that, people dressed like it's 1700, a guy that always carried an umbrella-- people are strange.
My favorite was the guy that always dressed like Napoleon, though.

I got to my class and got several more compliments. One girl teased me and asked if I could breath.

Breathe*

The only thing that could have made this day any better was if Adam, my crush who is into corsets, had been able to see me.

Uh-huh.
Somehow when you say he's "into corsets" I don't think that applies to the morbidly obese.

I sit down in the car and do not even have my seatbelt on before my mom starts in with teh questions. She wants to know how my presentation went, what grade did I get, have i talked to my advisor yet?

It went well. I don't know my grade yet. No, my adviser is a useless cunt so I'll get around to it.

Remember the corset I told you about? I put up a facebook status about it and promised pictures to my one friend.
I was told by my father that I should not even think about writing such things let alone posting picture of them. Because apparently posting a picture of myself in a corset means I will never in my life get hired. Despite the fact that the only people who can see my Facebook are my friends.

Give me five minutes and I can be into your Facebook.

Now I know my father wants what's best for me and that if someone really wanted to tehy could hack my facebook. But what employer is going to dig that deep?

It's so hard to do I'm sure no one has such employees.

There's nothing like sitting on the lap of a hot, shirtless guy whom you have a crush on. Except when said hot guy asks you to sit on his lap and then does things like play with your hair.

Good lord, it's been a long time. School is winding up so I've been super busy with that. Plus My computer caught a really icky virus and it still hasn't let go yet. Oh, and Word isn't working on there anymore so I have to use school computers to write.

I always wonder about people like this. MY COMPUTER HAS A VIRUS AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! Never mind that Googling "my computer has a virus and I don't know what to do" links you to a comprehensive list of instructions to follow and holds your stupid ass hand through the entire process.
It's un-fucking-canny, is what it is.

The first TEN people to comment in this post get to request that I write a drabble of any pairing/character of their choosing.

OH WOW, CAN I BE SO HONORED?
>20 comments for this dreck
>my own blog struggles to get one comment despite AWESOME COMMENTARY FOR YEARS

I had to talk for just two minutes today.

OH FUCK ME TWO MINUTES. You're right, college is totally unreasonable!

And normally that wouldn't be a problem, even with knowing very little information like I did. I talked for about thirty seconds before my nervousness got me and I choked.

Oh shit I have to talk for ten entire minutes Tuesday, what should I do?

I had to pass on the presentation. I really hate public speaking. I hate being the center of attention in general. It really sucks, I have to say.

This is funny in light of your "I wore a corset today and everyone was talking about how cute I looked." If you hate being the center of attention why do you dress like a goddamn freak?

And I don't even have new Criminal MInds or CSI New York episodes to make me feel better. This day could not get worse, it honestly couldn't.

At least you came out with all your digits.
Oh and here's her very first entry. Well congratulations, me: I made it through her entire blog.
Now let us drink~

So little time, so little to do

Hooo, good grief. Sorry I missed Monday, but I had a choice of two activities from a list of three, essentially, and so one had to be dropped. Originally I had picked this and Monster Hunter with schoolwork being dropped, but damn having to act like a responsible adult.
Anyway totally worth it, got my switch axe. A lot of people seem to be of the opinion that switch axes are inferior to a plain long sword due to silly things like "accidentally hitting team mates" but you know what I call these people?
Pussies.
Speaking of pussies: behold.

I've already gotten into the really competitive university theater program that I wanted.

>competitive
>theaterNo, really, that's cute.

Please, help a 'coon in need! Any ideas for a remedy to this horrible, terrible, crippling affliction? D:

Wow that was really needlessly racist-- oh. Furry.
Great.

Goodness gracious I am in a pickle.

... That's what she said?

I'll start from the beginning. So, there's this boy I'm friends with.

Stop. Just warning you now: I don't give a fuck.
Okay, proceed.

This very, very, VERY cute boy who happens to be one of the sweetest, most genuine people I've ever met. Naturally I have a big fat crush on him. However, I kinda tried to force myself to move on and get over him, since I assumed that he was straight.

Uh--hu--zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

I'm in an empty room with the boy of my dreams who just told me that he likes guys, and what do I do? Nothing, 'cause I'm a huge pussy. Anyways!

ANYWAYS GUYS
ANYWAYS

Then I get a text from one of my friends (who happens to be a girl) telling me that she has a big crush on that same boy which I can't get out of my head. A DURRRRRRRRR

*takes deep breath*

Such drama.

Starting today, I'm going to try and write in here every day, and get back into furry.

Going to get back to disappointing your parents, I see.

I just finished a rather brief (3-6 page) story called 'The Hitchhiker', which is about, you guessed it, a hitchhiker.

That was a good episode of The Twilight Zone.
Turns out the hitch hiker is death, see.

Short, but sweet. The hitchhiker, who is described as 'some sort of a large human rat' with 'quick eyes and pointed ears' turns out to be a pickpocket.

Oh. The Twilight Zone episode was better.

Furaffinity.

Sleep.

Warcraft.

I bet he made a Tauren.
You fuck. You furry fuck.

So, I've decided to get off my ass and upload some artwork onto my FA account! xD

XD LOLZ

So, I recently discovered torrents xD

XD

I've been mulling about this for some time now, not sure what I should do as a fursona. I mean, if I'm going to be in the furry community, I should have one, right?

I dunno bro but I have this paper to finish up so if you'll excuse me, I'm sure this doesn't need my undivided.

But this came to me as some sort of epiphany. I looked in the mirror, and thought to myself. Raccoon.

Six page essay, folks. This shit won't write itself.
Oh, what's this still doing here? I ended up capturing a Qurupeco and killing a Royal Ludroth in the time I could have been listening to this furry moan about shit.
I feel fulfilled.

FURRIES. PURGE THE BEASTS!

It's Friday, so let's read about furries.
First post is an awesome rant about recycling and it sure must be nice to have so few problems that this tops your "problems for the day" so much so that you have to rant about it on the internet.

Does the title of my post make you recoil in annoyance? Because that seems to be the response I get from a lot of people when I ask "do you recycle?"

Uh-huh-- when the fuck are you living, again? 1973? People are still bothered by recycling?

For Earth Day I made a recycling bin out of an old trash can that mom gave me. I introduced it to my co-workers, stuck it in the kitchen and sincerely hope that people use it.

I bet you're a real riot to work with, Jesus.
I'd take one look at that, say "not happening" and carry about my day until you nagged me into submission which upon reflection would only take one try.

Just letting everyone know that I'm most likely not going to be around the intarwebs for a couple of day's.

I see this more and more. Anything plural is instantly possessive. I guess because you have something like "days" then "day's" and it looks the same? I don't know, how can you have a breakdown of such simple second grade grammar?

My troupe is getting ready for the biggest Belly Dance convention on the east coast, Spirit of the Tribes.

Gross fat girl belly dancing.

Jon and Al just had a chat on Skype that put images in my head and made me LOL

OH GOOD SKYPE CHAT LET ME READ THIS IMMEDIATELY--

Jon: So... I was woken up this morning by... well they didn't wake me up. But, shortly after I woke up I was accosted by a Jehovah's Witnesses at my front door.

Really? That's fascinating.

Al: WAT.
Jon: That's right, at first when I opened the door I thought it was a Jehovah's Witness, but in fact is was a Jehovah's Witnesses.
Al: Well they do always travel in pairs.
Jon: Yes, in pairs. Clever girl...
Al: ... and they walk in a single file line to hide their numbers.

... So this is the level of humor on which most people function.
Well I can't say I'm surprised, just a little disgusted that it's staring me in the face right now.
Also: XD SO RANDUM
Now there's some sort of eel girl drawing and I'm not really sure what this is.

Due to personal reasons and changes in my life, her coat is no longer typical. I never liked her spots from the get go but always drew them anyway because... well, servals have spots. They look beautiful on the animal, but felt weird drawing them on Mirroreyes. Like it was making her, not her.

Yeah this is real interesting and everything but can you hurry this along? I have dragons to kill and I the day isn't getting younger. Monster Hunter Tri, you see.
And I do mean "kill", not "yiff" like I'm sure you'd want to do.
Dragons are a blight on the existence of man, and the only weapon against it is cunning and a sharp knife.

Would Naga's have belly buttons?

POSSESSIVES DO NOT WORK THAT WAY.
Also a "Naga" is a half-man half-snake. A gross parody of the features of man and something that therefore must be destroyed with contempt, but FURRIES go figure. Interestingly no one actually bothers to research this shit but a female Naga is a "Nagini" but no one seems to know this except me.

I know all artists render Naga's differently. Some with cut and paste upper human to lower snake where a belly button would make sense.

Well if you bothered to do that pesky research you'd know anything born by eggs wouldn't have an umbilical cord and therefore would not have a belly button.

Others draw them mostly snake-like where they look more likely to have been hatched from eggs.

Furthermore, snake women wouldn't have mammary glands or hair.

I sometimes draw them with or without mams or hair based on the look I'm going for. But belly buttons... how would you rationalize that?

I know how I'd do it.
I wouldn't.

If your in or near the area you should TOTALLY check it out. :D *hint hint*

>your

What do you like in a game review website?

Well my new barometer for game review sites is to check their opinion of Final Fantasy XIII, and if they think it is good they are provably wrong. First time in history a subjective thing can be wrong.

I wanna know what's important to you. What do you look for in a game review?

Also their opinion of Monster Hunter Tri can be another good indicator. If it scored lower than FFXIII, you have fucked up somewhere.
Now there's a long post about her turtle dying. Apparently she moved it and it found an atom of water and promptly drowned, which makes me think her turtle was an NPC in a video game, because they always find amusing excuses to ruin your mission.

Also, just for the hell of it have a centaur chick!

>centaur chick
>proper name is Centauride
I don't know why I bother explaining this shit to someone who doesn't know the difference between "days" and "day's".

*sigh* Someday Peta will realize that these ridiculous proposals only hurt they're main objective of ending cruelty.

... They are main objective.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Now she posts a picture and she wants critiques of it, and I do see a problem with light sourcing but frankly it's better than 99% of anything else Deviant Art produces so that seems really knit-picky.
It's still furry shit but whatever.
Well I think that's about all I can take of this nonsense. Pleasant day, fags.

Who is Justin Bieber

Why do I hear the name "Justin Bieber" everywhere like he's someone I should know? Well you know the routine by now, I should think. It's as Dante said in his Inferno:

Before me was nothing but things eternal,
and eternal I endure.
Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

Here must all cowardice be slain.

My friends and I finally got around to launching out website, Primary Ignition. It's pretty much a site full of written reviews and odd stories so far.

Well let me go right to that!

and I have my review of FFXIII up! Check it out! Tell your friends!

What is this "FFXIII"? Last I checked Square Enix was doing something incredibly strange. They went right from 12 to 14 with no 13 in the middle. Maybe it's because it's unlucky?

Having said that, Final Fantasy XIII gave me hope. Like a crack of light glimmering in deep darkness, it is my belief that FFXIII could be a dawn of a new era in the series.

Har, har, har.
All right million words I'm not reading, cut to the chase please--
>rating: 7.5/10
Wow someone is mighty generous.

FFXIII is a step in the right direction.

Endless tunnels and corridors, melodrama at every turn, nonsensical plot, a plot that indeed doesn't unfold unless you read the requisite journal (not good storytelling, SE), a soundtrack that is as uninspired as it is unmemorable, a battle system that outright rewards mashing buttons over any sort of thought process or strategy, a level system so linear and redundant they might as well just give you stat bonuses every level instead of jerking me around pretending like I actually have a say in how I customize my characters--
yeah you're right, this is a step in the right direction. Who needs all that pesky thought and interesting characters and shit when I can send my achievements STRAIGHT TO FACEBOOK YO

It's 2003 all over again. Except I'm uglier and listen to more music.

Funny I said the exact same thing last night, only "I sure do talk to more Koreans on MSN than I did in 2003." Followed briefly by "why do I have so much harspichord music in my iPod?"

I think that it's time I come to terms that my day in the sun is over, and I will never be in another relationship again, no matter how positive of piss poor my attitude is.

Sunny days seemed far away-- woooooo Sunny Day team.

People these days are shallow, and I just don't have the looks anymore to attract any girl that I would want to enter a relationship with.

Oh, oh what's up, blaming the girl for your lack of personality?

Part of the reason I feel this way is because of the fact that I am balding (from the back of the head WAY more so than the front).

Shave head, learn kung fu
get bitches

This may make me sound like an asshole, but I find myself strongly resenting my mother's side of the family because the baldness gene is from there.

Oh so much hair, so much hair how can I possibly comb these glorious locks?

And then it hit me. Again. I'm not cut out for this crap. Not that it matters if I was seriously looking anyway because I am fucking hideous.

Speaking of getting hit again, there's this weird tree outside one of the buildings I have to go to on campus and again today one of its creepy spine fruits fell down and bumped me right on the noggin.
That tree has it out for me.
ONE DAY, TREE THIS DANCE OF OURS WILL END

Don't fucking give me eating and exercise tips. I'm fucking exaggerating because I am frustrated about that right now. If I stick to eating better and cut back drinking like I have been doing, exercising should get me results faster. There, I said something positive. Are you happy?

I hate it when people say THERE, HAPPY? No, actually, I couldn't give a shit.
Exercise or don't, I don't give a fuck. Meanwhile in me world it feels good being slightly underweight and having a FULL HEAD OF FLOWING HAIR~

I figured if I died, seriously injured myself, or any other negative possibility happen I would have got what I deserved. While she wasn't exactly the easiest person to get along with, it's not like I'm a fucking prize either. I would love to change my attitude toward women in relationships, but it's very hard for me to.

Oh let me back up the WAAAAAAAAmbulance.
Here's the secret, brosef: when you think you're being totally awesome and a really nice guy to them you're being slightly less of an asshole than you usually are. It's the way people are hardwired, I dunno. They're programmed to see the flaws in others and ignore their own.
I think it has to do with Adam and Eve's disobedience to God-- no I'm just fucking with you.

Again, not like I even have that problem right now because no woman would want to be with me right now.

Not with that attitude they sure aren't.

Many people have suggested my negative attitude is my problem with meeting women.

Or you can't meet women because of your negative attitude, eh? How about that shit? Reverse that logic and it still stands to reason, so you have a vicious cycle of douchebaggery.
There's another sentence I'd like to quote but I can't actually get all the way through it without my brain running into what I can only assume is the human equivalent of a RAM address error.
Here's his relationship history and I'm sparing you, the reader, the details of this but rest assured I read every goddamn word of it.
Though there is this nugget:

Karma came back to haunt me since she ended up cheating on me while at college. Said it happened because of how I was acting. I wasn't supportive enough.

IT HAPPENED NOT BECAUSE I'M A WHORE WHO CAN'T KEEP HER LEGS CLOSED BUT BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T SUPPORTIVE ENOUGH~
Cool, way to pin the blame. Enjoy your venereal disease.

I should drink myself to death one of these days. I'm talking about in one sitting.

I agree.

The more I think about it, the more I think that I really, really don't want to get into a relationship again.

Hey man, you don't need to keep telling me. All you have to do is convince yourself that you're perfectly happy alone and miserable~

No, I am not pissed off.

I'M NOT CRAZY
I'LL KILL ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE

Fuck, I thought I was scared THEN. I was only, what? 20? I will be 28 in 2010.

Zzzzzzz.

I swear to god, we run into a man in a Luigi suit, and some teenage sluts were trying to get our attention. I high five the Luigi, and ignore the girl teenyboppers asking if they could have our alcohol. Fuck them.

This is why you're still alone, man.
Holy shit you made a v-log. New level of personal, this blog. You look and sound exactly as I imagined.
Jesus Christ. Asshole: script. Now.
Also: cool video game audio upstaging your shitty story no one cares about.
What is that, Final Fantasy VII soundtrack?
The least you could do is put some classy shit so you wouldn't look like a complete fucking loser, but ah well.
That's how you get bitches via music, by the way. Show them you're a fan of Al Green so they know you're a smooth motherfucker then whip out the Bach. That's right, complete package. Smooth and classy.
Oh here's your online dating profile--
Ah, you're looking at the camera and smiling.
I read a study recently that suggested men who look away from the camera and don't smile (exact opposite of what you did) averaged 50% more responses than men who did.
SCIENCE!

I am an anomaly. I am not designed or pattered to be in a normal relationship.

OH MY GOD DUDE KNOCK THIS OFF.

The funny thing about love is this: It's like a snake.

Calling up Whitesnake for this awesome new song idea I just got thanks to this.
Well whatever asshole, I have shit to do. I have a script to punch up for Japanese class.
It took years of study and practice to get this funny in English and now I have to do it in a foreign language.
I welcome the challenge?

Sunny Day Time

Prior to today I felt a deep understanding for the Michael Jackson song "Stranger in Moscow" particularly when he says "sunny days seemed far away" because I, too, knew the sting of having an awesome Sunny Day team in Pokemon planned only to have the core of the team foiled by the harlot that is Heart Gold and Soul Silver.
Well no more, for today I have successfully RNG abused a Growlithe.
Sunny days are here to stay?
Anyway I'm sure Mr. Jackson wasn't referring to Pokemon when he sang this song, but the alternative is far too silly to comprehend. Feeling alienated about accusations of pedophilia? Yeah, I think that would happen.
So here we have today for your delectation The Deep.

I was just contacted by some recruiter looking to hire me on as a CSR manager.

"The pay rate is nine dollars an hour."

Why, if you work the standard 9-5, that's an entire 81 dollars a day!
Do you know how many boxes of Lucky Charms that is?

I said that did not meet my requirements.
"Well," she said in a huffy voice, "what do YOU make per hour ?"

I am independently wealthy and am currently working this secretarial position for chuckles.
So here's some sort of flowchart of nonsense I'm not really sure what that's about--
Oh I think he's a furry.
Good.

I like my work.

I really do.

Like most people who work off of commission in the fandom, I have a day job.
In my case, it is a night job.

Dare I ask what that "night" job is?

I work overnight running a department of Mastercard, and I work primarily with European and Australian banks.
Thrilling, I know.

Oh, okay. Well, certainly not what I was expecting from our fur-suited friend, but all right.

So, for those who are in the know. . .

I got sunburnt rather badly this week. It was not a fun time at all, and it is just now beginning to peel. Bleh.

So speaking of the sun, this reminds me of my Sunny Day team:
I'm going to have a Shiftry lead, right, then a Claydol support for stealth rocks, then motherfucking Arcanine. It's going to be, as the kids say, "the bees knees".

I ended up going counter Kabbalistic in my ordering of the Sephirot, but I think it makes more sense.

But the Sephirot is Kabbalistic--
isn't it? I don't honestly know, come to think of it.
For those of you not versed in "wacky" as myself (meaning you haven't played Xenogears) I shall explain.
In Jewish mysticism there's this thing called "the three of life" which is supposed be the various emanations of God. People think this means shit, but in reality it's just a loose collection of character traits.
No different than, say, the flowchart of nonsense I linked earlier about furries.

I also alter the positions of the Angels themselves (and their functions),

Ah yes last person to do this was a man named "John Milton" and he was writing something called "Paradise Lost". I don't think you'll be met with similar success, however.

So, I managed to come up with a monster of a story idea.

Like, this one amazed me and I have yet to even write it.

Well I'm glad someone is getting some enjoyment out of it because I have no doubt that when you post it I'll be bored to tears.

I feel bad because some might view it as me waxing over my esoteric learning,

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWN. Jesus, you can't even get through the first sentence of describing the fucking thing and I'm already looking at something else to do.
Like staring at the glory that is my Growlithe.

I even came up with a name for the bad guy, which is exciting. I am also uber pwning with my olde school mythos knowledge. Thoth, you are on notice. :D

One important thing, I think, for any good villain is the ability to pronounce his name easily without sounding like you have a gay lisp.

So I raise contention with Brian Jacques on a few topics.
Mainly, why are foxes always evil ? Ferrets too.

Brian Jacques, a man who probably hates the day he came up with his masterpiece Redwall, is a famous author of young adult books mostly centering around sentient mice who get into various knightly adventures.
The series proper started in the 1980s, a healthy two decades before this whole furry thing started, so I think it's pretty safe to say Brian Jacques himself is just a man with an idea, because the books themselves were really quite enjoyable as a child.
Of course I'm sure they have since become the target of something far more sinister and creepy (like furry sex) but I guess we're in for a surprise. Or not.

I understand he had to polarise somewhere, but can you really see a tyrannical fennec ruling over the mice and hedgehogs of a forest ?
I just see it taking everyone's cock.

See? What the fuck did I just say? These furries cannot go one whole paragraph about sentient animals without mention someone getting their knob polished.
What is wrong with you people?
These are books for children, for Christ's sake.

It would be like if Magikarp's splash attack gave your opponent the option to mercy kill themselves and save you the agony.

Yeah of course Pokemon has a huge furry following. It's something of a constant horror I have to battle. Pokemon is as much a psychological battle as it is a tactical one.

Then it evolves and kills everything with rage and fire.

Yes I am quite pleased with my Gyarados as well. Earthquake, Ice Fang, Dragon Dance, Waterfall--

I am beginning to really like the furry group here.

Hurp I'm a durp

I also was referenced a few times, mainly because I am a 'damn foreigner'.

Grounds for deportation, in my book.
That you're a furry, that is. If they find out you're a terrorist they detain you, why should this be any different?

Warning, this contains gratuitous amounts of GAY !

Ha, ha wow. Now you warn me. That's like wandering five miles into a high radiation zone only to be met by a sign "warning: your face may melt" Yeah, kind of figured that out around the time I started sprouting vestigial wings due to the radiation.

I was asked a question: what do I look for in a mate ?

"Well first thing she has to be human, boss, so I think the term is "girlfriend" and not "mate" but whatever, yeah" would be my response.
Jesus Christ this is like a fifteen page checklist of traits and features.

If he asked I would say yes.

But, he would have to know how to ask.

Oh I see, you're a living Da Vinci Code riddle.
A FARMER SEES THREE CROWS ON A FENCE AND SHOOTS ONE, HOW MANY ARE LEFT?
None, because the other two would fly away~
And a few more entries I'm not reading and we're up to his very first entry, awww.
It looks like he's new to this whole blogging thing.
Well I hope this gives him a nice, warm welcome :3

Cease and repent

I have a hypothesis that how cool you are is directly proportional to the starter you chose in Pokemon as a child. Take, for example, children today: they have the choice between a rock turtle with an entire ecosystem on its back, a flaming ape that punches people so hard they light on fire, or a penguin. Just a penguin.
I think it's sufficiently clear which starter is the lamest in this case. And here we have a fan of said penguin.
If you're keeping score, the lame duck out in the previous generations are: Bulbasaur, Chikorita and Mudkip. Water has taken the prize twice, grass twice. Fire is always superior.
Think about it. First generation you had a turtle with pneumatic water cannons on its back, a giant fire lizard or a fucking... Thing. Second gen you had a giant bipedial crocodile, a giant flaming porcupine or a... Gay thing. Third gen you had a fighting fire chicken or a Rambo-esque jungle lizard. Or a Derp.

Keeding. You're not a stalker. This was just a message to you if you feel like you've been watching me harrrrrrrd. Like seriously hard.

For some reason when I read this post I thought he was talking about the vidya gaym Stalker (or S.T.A.L.K.E.R. as it's properly written) but apparently he's talking about a real stalker.

• Bio class was so warm, I decided to just napppp :D
• The IB Survival Handbook is soo...handy :D

Pussy. Back in my day we didn't have fancy handbooks to get through IB. Shit, I didn't even get credit for it. I was the test subject.
I like to justify my "zero reimbursement for doing a favor for my school system" in my head by thinking of it like Gundam. I'm the prototype Gundam in this case. It's superior to the mass produced models.

Oh and I've really been implicit about what's been going on with my life lately but I don't give a shit anymore.

Explicit*. Implicit would be you saying-- well, something that's implied.

As long as I'm not explicit, s/he has no reason to get mad at me because s/he will just prove that all my rantings is about him/her and that'll basically expose him/herself

Oh. What?

If you're reading this and you feel offended and probably is prepared to rant to your friends about how much I've been "shit talking" and you're also brainstorming other possible

I feel offended at how fucking douchey this has been so far. I think you owe me, and me personally, an apology.

This major life change is actually pretty recent. My "circle of friends" changed and I lost two of my best friends, but I ended up finding a lot of good people whom proved that they

I've never seen someone fuck up "who" and "whom" backwards like this before.
You do know you need a preposition to use "whom" in that capacity, right?

would be there for me and would be definitely a lot more trustworthy, plus many other people whom I somewhat neglected and now pay attention to a lot more.

Wow this is the world's most complicated sentence. I've been trying to diagram it for the past five minutes and I gave up. Oddly, though, your second "whom" is correct because it's a direct object.

I'm a little angsty today, like a pendulum full of emotion, but it's a part of growing up isn't it.

Speaking of I've finally worked up the nerve to download "Unicorn Gundam" and I saw immediately that one of the tags on it is "angst" so I'm incredibly concerned now.
Remember when Gundam was an awesome space opera about great heroes and giant fighting robots in space and HOT BLOOD and shit?
Yeah I miss that too.
I mean of course the whole doubt and fear thing was always part of it but it was never the all-encompassing theme that it has become today.

I'm going to be a little explicit with my language but please consider that this isn't coming from what I feel, this is coming from the fucking heart.

Implying that "coming from the heart" isn't "what you feel" but whatever. Also this must be some pretty serious shit to warrant such a warning at the start. The last thing that I read that started with a plea "from the heart" was about ending slavery in America.

But anyways, my point here is that, where the fuck do you think you're going doing what you're doing?

This, of course, coming from a high school kid who says "anyways". Isn't this the kind of talk a father gives to his son after he picks up the guitar or something? Who the fuck are you to be saying this to your friend?

What the fuck is going on with you bro? You've turned into this Yu-gi-oh crazed, girl-hungry, shit-talker.

Sounds like typical middle school kid to me.

Bro, you were in the Top 100 for comedians in Canada on Youtube

Youtube, whose number one comedian is currently a 13 year old boy who speeds up his audio and pretends to be four (I am dead fucking serious), to me, is an incredibly poor indicator of comedic talent.
Also:
>Canadian
>comedy
pick one.

You had two of your poems published in a magazine - that's two more than I myself have ever gotten published.

Fuh, yeah. Which magazine? Your school literary magazine? I used to get shit published monthly without fucking trying. If you have a firm grasp of grammar regardless of content or talent you're getting in.

I don't know if you realized, but the two things society has been looking for since the beginning of time is people in the arts and people in the sciences

Yes, society ONLY values TWO THINGS and TWO THINGS ONLY. Why is most of the industrialized world in middle management, again?

Yknow, I was about to post a really angry entry about how your shit talking makes it seem like you're obsessed with me but something tells me this is what you want.

I have no idea who you're even talking about but you seem to be the one obsessed, friend.

Reon Kadena <3

Ruh-roh. Getting my hose, I feel like I'm going to need it.

When I was looking for a picture of her, I didn't want to put up a picture that showed her body off.

Good luck with that. She does have an amazingly large chest for a Japanese woman.

I wanted to find a picture that showed off her face. Sure she has a nice body, but that face is killer.

A quick Google image search with content filter off can confirm his sudden interest in her.

No, serious talk now. Some guys fail to see how much more attractive a face can be over a body. Even in her "racy" photos, one cannot help but stare at her...FACE.

Huh? Oh, oh yeah. Sorry I was starting to lose interest in what you were saying because I started looking at my own Google image search.

Anyways, what's my point about this little rant here? That bodies are overrated? That face's are so much more attractive? That the term "gorgeous" is so much better a word to use than "hot"?

Gay.

No. It's that I'm not gay. So stop talking shit.

Well you never sound gayer than when you're saying "I'm not gay".

Woke up at 3am!

Played Pokemon

Woooooooo

Bun you IB textbook. I'mma use my Chikorita and cut you up with Magical Leaf.

See I told you my hypothesis has merit. Later he confirms he also likes Mudkip, so he's 3/4 so far.

So I'm going to get the new Pokemon soon and I want to make a new team that I can use to pwn my IB buds

Cool kids on the bus now, watch out.

And a note to the latter part in the above : I don't want to use "normal" pokemon (like Tyranitar, Typhlosion etc. aka. OVERPLAYED POKEMON)

>Overplayed
>Typhlosion
What.

I want an INTERESTING line-up. So if you have a favourite that you never see in "strong" line ups please please pleaseee feel free to suggest.

Well if it's strong it's going to get used, so I'm not really sure-- there aren't unlimited options, here. It's not like there's a hidden Tyranitar-tier Pokemon that people have forgotten about or anything.

>Put your iPod on shuffle.
> Write down the first 5 songs that play.

No.
Well I think that's it, then. Enjoy your Pokemon, faggot.
Hey wait--

Look at this

Look at this.

This is on the front of Facejournal when you log in (hurrr because you have to now to properly browse). Those are images you can purchase for other people. That's not like Livejournal money, either, that's real money they want for fucking clipart taken from Windows Paint.
I'd say "who on this wide earth has enough money and not enough brains to do such a thing?" But I'm pretty sure this website is proof that more would than wouldn't.
Today we have an exercise in disappointment that is this shit. Look at the name, ho boy.
I was going to review this other blog written by some Korean girl because I want to stare at their funny crop circle language some (my latest hobby, I have a new TV channel devoted to NOTHING BUT) but it turns out she's not Korean, so fuck that noise.

Oh great, Adam's updating his Livejournal again. What is it this time? Another joke too long for him to fit on Twitter? More song lyrics that aren't half as poetic as he thinks they are? A sequel to the story about the time he couldn't find gloves?

More shit I'm not reading? A confession that you're a homosexual as all men with blogs are? WELL, LET ME KEEP YOU GUESSING, READERS!

Quite frankly, I don't talk about life because little in my life has been worth talking about. I often claim, 'when something happens, you'll know about it.'

I just blew my nose and this long yellow and red thing came out of my head. Cause to be concerned, or allergies?

Our equipment consisted of one High-8 camera with a tape deck that wouldn't open, and a ten dollar omni-directional microphone.

This sounds like the start of a war story as told by John Wayne. WE ONLY HAD ONE RIFLE WITH THREE BULLETS AND A SOCK PUPPET AND WE TOOK OUT EVERY BLASTED ONE OF THOSE SONS OF BITCHES.

My writing opportunity is satisfying, but these skills don't pay the bills.

Hear that, Spielberg? Pack it in. That shit will never pay the bills.

Tartarus.

In Ancient Greek mythology, Tartarus was below the underworld.

Oh, hello. Suddenly something interesting.

It was where the truly wicked were doomed to spend eternity; those who insulted, spited, or manipulated the Gods. Those doomed to this fate received unusual and taxing punishments. Sisyphus was doomed to roll a boulder up a hill, but never reach the top. Tantalus was constantly hungry, but forever out of reach of food.

And if we're talking about interesting punishments devised by the gods, don't forget Prometheus, destined to have his liver picked at by an eagle for all eternity, only to have it regrow the next day~

It's not just Hell. It's a manifestation of frustration. A hallucinatory sense of making progress, but never actually moving forward.

"Frustrating" is kind of an odd word to pick for that, but yeah I guess it works.
All right.

The other day, I Stumbleuponed my own personal Tartarus. It's a trivia game. Pictures of 100 famous movie directors, all you have to do is identify them from a headshot.

Oh. Bye, interesting part~
Also I'd say a successful director would be hard to identify by his picture. Isn't that the whole idea? He's directing and not acting?

Thanks for your help. And tell Hera I'm not sorry; she knows what she did.

Really? Hera? Of all the gods you could possibly piss off, Hera has to be one of the hardest.
She's pretty affable, really. I mean, how many mortals has she killed in all of Greek mythology? Only a couple hussies that Zeus took an interest in, but beyond that, if you're a man you're pretty much safe.

I'm not taking an anti-intellectual stand, far from it. I'm simply saying literature written for kids has a special kind of quality that can't be touched. It's why I associate Hatchet with untamed wilderness adventure instead of Robinson Crusoe.

Also because, you know, Hatchet was fun to read and Robinson Crusoe was really fucking boring.
You are allowed to think these thoughts, friend. Contrary to what they tell you in school, sometimes a classic is a classic because of tradition more than an actual reason.

It's why I think of The Giver instead of Brave New World when I hear "dystopian society."

As the world's most self-important litfag I will now point out with assured smugness that "The Giver" is problematic in terms of a dystopian society. The people willingly submitted to it, the goal of the government was truly beneficent in nature, and ultimately no one was truly unhappy in the society as such, and so therefore it's not really dystopian even if it would seem like it to you.

Simply put, Young Adult and Kids literature thrust me into adulthood better than a rocket riveted to my spine. And that's where my problem lies. While I assume there is plenty left to discover about this world, nothing could possibly be comparable to the bounty of information I learned then.

The Count of Monte Cristo and Dante's Inferno are 500 times better than any shitty kid book, don't even kid yourself. You have your nostalgia goggles on so tight they might as well be welded to your face, friend.
Now here's a story written about him in the third person. Not reading this, "Adam Jaspering".

I stay up late because I'm no bitch to my circadian rhythms.

No, but you are a bitch.

The problem with DC as mentioned in The Big Bang Theory:

Words I'm not reading.

I watched The Birds for the first time yesterday.

You graduated with some sort of (useful, har har) film degree and hadn't seen The Birds?
School, I tell you.

But what about the average Blockbuster goer? They don't choose to sit down one Thursday evening and watch a TCM special about Stanley Kubrick. Should they be entitled to the surprise that HAL-9000 kills the crew of Discovery One?

The movie is like 35 years old. It's your fucking fault if you haven't seen it in the interim.

Dracula being a vampire was once a spoiler.

... Well, spoiler in the sense that it wasn't explained until later he was a vampire, but if you couldn't tell there was something wrong with Mr. Dracula from page 3 there's something wrong with you.

It has become readily apparent that the vast majority of people have malformed information about the upcoming Zombie Apocalypse

Like the fact that zombies are biologically impossible.
Sorry to ruin your "lol xD" post, faggot.

Zombies do not operate via the remnants of their central nervous system. Aiming for the brain will not help.

Wrong, every piece of zombie fiction ever (almost) indicates a shot to the head is the preferable method of execution.

Do not set zombies on fire. Dry logs take hours to burn. Flesh will take much longer.

Wrong, flesh burns faster than logs.

Zombies are neither cold-blooded or warm-blooded. They are no-blooded.

Wrong. Without blood, movement would be impossible thanks to NO LACTIC ACID.
Man you suck at zombie trivia.

The Zombie Virus applies to all species. Beware of feral chipmunks. Look out for enraged pigeons.

Ignoring for a moment that you said at the start of your post that the zombie plague would spread via parasite and not virus (further ignoring that a mass parasite outbreak is highly unlikely in the first place), it is impossible for a virus to effect all living species at once. Viruses, like all life (well, pseudo-life, whatever) are adapted to their environment and therefore would have to separately adapt to all species.
In conclusion, good doctor, you are a faggot.

Good luck everyone. Keep together, don't trust strangers, and watch the itchy trigger fingers when visiting former Ghostbusters.

Keep together so inevitably when one of you gets cabin fever he can go nuts and endanger everyone. Good plan, asshole.

People don't understand how decades work. The 00's began on January 1st, 2000.

Actually if we're getting technical there was no "year 0" so the decade actually begins on 01.
Goddamn you're just wrong all over the place.
On that note I think I'm going to go do something else now.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhh

Today we have a new type of blog (well, sort of). It's a blog about a stoner. These people are always very annoying because they're so quick to point out that they're SMOKIN' WEEEEEEED, MAN. Who gives a flying fuck, honest to God? What, are you 12 and getting off on doing something BAD? Is that what's happening here?
Then, when you point out you're on laudanum or something equally adult and you find their pot childish and tame, they either leave or get really butthurt. Jeez, chill out. I thought pot made you mellow.

i just found some papers in a box...like rolling papers type o papers.

Like rolling papers type "o" papers. I see we're dealing with a master of the English language, here.

theyre large lol i recall buying em back when i smoked way too much pot because regular papers wernt big enough lol looking at these things its like...i could easily fit 2 grams in one of these papers if not more haha

I'm glad someone is laughing because I'm groaning right now.

last night was fun. me and amy went out and convinced other people to come out. my cousin came and it turns out she doesnt suck haha i just assume all ym family members suck but she was pretty cool.

That reminds me on an essay I handed in last week I kind of said that an epic poem isn't epic because it follows the epic form but the epic form helps create the feeling of a grand event unfolding before you, and to accentuate this I mentioned that Dante's Inferno had no epic invocation, then I was recently revisiting it and was hit square in the face by the epic invocation in canto 2, so good work, me. Hopefully that doesn't adversely affect my grade by being dead fucking wrong but I guess it happens to everyone at some point oh well~

and jeremy from charlottetown came cuz amy pretty much forced him too lol and when me and my cousin went to get papers we ran into meewa from charlottetown too!

Jesus Christ.

actually shes been in japan since november and she just got back and shes off to charlottetown today.

Do you know what happens if they catch people with pot in Japan?
They cut off their hands.
No, they throw them in jail for a long time and then deport them if they're foreign. I must say it seems a little harsh to me but if it prevents shit like this from coming out of their country-- can't really complain.

so ya....religion may not be a bad thing in theory but some people dont really do it right lol

lol it's okay guys I said lol so it's automatically funny.

i got picked up by russell...a giant pot head dude that was pretty sketchy but had a shit load of good weed.

Man you're as bad as the religious with this shit. They can't go one sentence without mentioning Jesus, you can't go one sentence without mentioning pot.

he had a miniature doberman and we stopped at about 8 tim hortons lol we also were so stoned the whole way it didnt really matter if he was crazy lol he was tellin me he did 5 years in jail after being involved in a police chase where he drunkenly rammed some cop cars off the road while trying to ditch 5 kilos of coke out his window.

Connected thoughts or the ramblings of a mental patient?

easiest goodbye so far. i was smoking a bowl on the front porch and caleb was smokin one in the back.

Jesus Christ, man.

not much goin on here. me and mira went adventuring a lil bit yesterday then raked our yard...i broke the rake lol oh and i got rid of her evil blinds too! it was super duper nice outside so basically i just kept finding excuses to go outside haha

lol lol haha

today...hmm..its a high of 1 so i dont need to be outside much lol ive got a few things to do....

HIGH of one, right you fuck?
No? No mention of smoking and adding fifteen lols to it so I know it's actually funny and not obnoxious?

im feeling oh so loved lately. everyones missing mark.

I'm hoping Mark gets hit by a bus.

her brian is tellin her to do one thing but the rest of her wants to do another.

What-- oh, her brain. Okay.

i shaved.....but i took pictures!

I hate the internet.

what a great weekend. erica rocks. she likes to take things slower than any girl ive ever met lol but at least shes down with cuddles.

Saying something that can be construed as negative= "add an lol so they know I'm not mean". Does this work? I mean yes, it does, but, but why?

from friday after work until about an hour ago when she tucked me into bed and sang me a lullaby before insisting on going home to her own bed lol

Suddenly reminded of Paradise Lost only the stoner version where instead of eating from the tree of the knowledge of life and death "from which thou shalt not eat" Eve smoked a bowl after being tempted by a giant hemp rope snake.
Ah, but it's not all bad. Adam and Eve had to fall so we could all be saved by Rastafarian Jesus.

honestly....i have no idea why i didnt kiss her or anything lol besides the fact im retarded lol but i think now that shes gone and my brains working right again its pretty obvious she likes me.

lol I don't know why I didn't lol kiss lol her lol I think lol she likes lol me lol lol
You motherfucker.

so tonight got boring and caleb felt like gettin high so we got high and played video games for a few hours.

Okay I think we've all had enough of this shit.

OH NO

Light is a complex and confusing affair, and probably the most important thing one can study in Warham painting. Many novices make the mistake of looking at an effect and trying to reproduce it wholesale without thinking of the constituent parts that create it.Why do I bring this up? Because specular highlighting is hard and going from one blinding activity to another is HOLY SHIT I'M BLIND.
Fucking Space Marines and their armor.
Also fuck Livejournal and their font choice.Anyway, today we have some bitch teaching English in France.
It's real pretentious in case you couldn't guess.
Our first entry is "Thoughts about teaching grammar, even if you don't care." and thanks for giving me the option. YOU'RE GOING TO HEAR THIS WHETHER YOU LIKE OR NOT, MOTHERFUCKER.Actually I could just scroll down and be done with it. Or close the browser and do something else.
In fact I have a lot of options "even if I don't care" but apparently I do, because here we go.

I think that grammar needs to be explicitly taught - because the student is going to ask eventually - but WHY is it like that?

Ah yes, flashback to yesterday's Japanese class.
Sometimes things just are the way they are because Japan is an isolated backwater when its language is developing and it does shit its own way on its own time.
Just roll with it. Polite form ましょう+ と思う = "I think we should _______" whereas plain　よおう + と思う= "I plan to ________" just go with it. They don't think it be like it is, but it do. I guess it's because that verb can mean "to think" or "to plan" and so-- no, it still doesn't really make that much sense in an English context.

But if you were to put it into some better context, not a cartoon, and not a tight and clean control. How?

Is that a fucking word jumble or are you asking a question? I thought these were your thoughts on grammar, not asking a bunch of dumbass questions about textbooks?
Ugh, forget it.

And I do. The mint-green fishnets and black leotard. They say 'wow what a lion we've got with this show-stopper.' Hair all a mane. I walk around with a shadow between my legs on stage from the spotlight overhead.

WHAT THE FUCK AM I READING?

Sometimes old men give me candy afterward. Don't take it from strangers, they say, but I do, because it's so good.

YOU'RE TALKING IN TONGUES, WOMAN! THE DEVIL IS IN YOU!

if I'd get a tattoo, it should be of "sexy flower." Not a rose, he said, something with the petals opened, a little "haute couture," a little soft and natural, and put his wrists up to his neck and fanned out his hands.

WHAT

The best things I do are artistic - whatever'll let me do that.

OK.

Oh yeah, your last three entries have been filled with artistry but NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

I might say that Italian films are my favorite foreign kind.

... Of film. Why are you teaching grammar, again? 10/10 sentences of yours, on average, will be opaque and not make much sense grammatically.OR NO, EXCUSE ME.Teach grammar why are you again? Sentences many as in 10/10 sense grammatically they will not make. Opaque.

No one but me in my family for French - how did I choose this isolation? In fact, if I think of it, I'm pretty sure there isn't any "Romantic" ancestry. French, Italian, Spanish, Romanian, Portuguese. Interesting, sort of. Languages, and the connected cultures, bypass ancestry.

Interesting to you, maybe. Meanwhile in metown I'm rubbing my temples wondering when the milky white fog will finally overtake my vision.

Let's think about the Basques.

You know what? No. Let's not think about the Basques. How about that for once?

ring out like a roar
in the night.

Suddenly reminded of something that doesn't suck, hold on.

All this talk of warm and cold fronts is pretty romantic.

Instead of two lovers meeting it's - air masses.

SORRY CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF AWESOME.

taking a walk. They were each standing about a foot into the street so that at first I'd watch the cars zooming up

WHAT? SORRY, THIS IS REALLY LOUD NOW.

The thing is, I couldn't stop thinking about sex.

Eww, you think about sex when you talk about Mormons? The only thing I think about when I talk to the religious DEVIANTS on campus is how awesome it'd be if Warhammer was real.
The religious deviants on campus being:

• everyone

Quite a list.
Haven't been confronted by Scientologists recently, come to think on it.

Usually a song, after I've heard it once or a few times.

Like I need, need, need, to hear it again, like it touched something hard in me and I need it touched again.

Tongue tiedshort of breath, don't even try
ooooo try a little harder
something's wrong, you're not naive, you must be stronger
oh baby try
hey girl
move a little closer
you're too shy too shy, hush hush eye to eye
hush hush eye to eye

Whoa, sorry. Completely off topic but it just came on and I decided it was a lot better than this.
I was taking a walk reading The Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass and was stopped for my number and I said had a boyfriend he said had a woman he said you go on with your walk then, smiling, said damn mm-mm as I walked off.

Holy God what the fuck does that say? Bitch: punctuations. Now.
Also: the Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass? Really? I mean, I had my arm twisted in school and read it (a bit). Who reads that for pleasure, seriously?
Hey Douglass, here's an idea for you: narratives often have a narrow focus to keep the reader's attention. Just a thought.

If you only had read how Frederick was beaten, you'd see how silly my fall was.

Fall as in "oh no I'm falling" or a symbolic Fall like in Paradise Lost?

Still, some things are significant for meaning other things, if you'd just think about them.
I give you what you wanted, girl. I have some hate left in me that is reasonable. I think it all gets worked out, especially in art and life.

You're right. Suddenly that Lady GaGa song I heard on the radio the other day has a whole new meaning for me. Like when she says "stop calling, stop calling I don't wanna think anymore" I think I suddenly understand exactly what she means. That's you. Stop calling.

I have so many books, and thought yesterday that : damn it if I had no books in my life I'd have so much space. It's not really the space though, I don't need so much space. I think rather than the space it's the weight.

You should write a book. You'd fit right in with those postmodern, pretentious assholes.
Anyway, I'm going to leave you today with two thoughts. One totally awesome to make up for THIS HORSESHIT and finally something I'm going to tell our pretentious cunt here.
The first shall be her thought for the day:
And finally:Fucking rad.

Praise Be to General Electric

Today, as I sit in the pollen-laden air (record breaking pollen count, hurrrrr), angry at my current lot in life (stuck behind some asshole in the fast lane doing 30 in a 55 zone, snail racing with the asshole immediately to his right, also doing 30) it hit me. What I want, more than anything else in the world, is to have this mounted on the front of my car somehow.
It's not a gun. It's a Gatling-style cannon.Anyway, today we have Welcome to My Truth. Good thing it's just her truth, too, because if this were a universal truth it'd confirm what I always suspected: the truth is incredibly dull.

I don't know why I'm telling you this, maybe I'm just fishing for compliments or maybe I'm hoping someone will kick me up the butt and help me do something with my life.But I'm going to tell you this anyway.

Waiting for the big "oops! I forgot I needed a point!" moment. Then I call you an idiot.

There is this girl that I sort of grew up with, I shan't name her. She's pretty much perfect.

Hit me with your best shot, etc?

She's like me, but a better version. By that I mean she's fairly short and she sings, but she's prettier, thinner and although not a better singer she generally does more with her voice. And I'm sure most people /do/ think she's better than I am anyway.

Yo dawg we heard you liked obnoxious bints so we put a louder voice in your obnoxious bint so you can have a headache while you have a headache.
Sorry Xzibit Pimp My Ride parodies are so last year.

And it upsets me and angers me every time I hear about her. And she hasn't done anything wrong. It's horrible feeling like this.

WOMEN. Am I right?

I am so full of anger right now, and I do not know why.

YOU WOULDN'T LIKE ME WHEN I'M ANGRY.

To be perfectly honest, i hate Friday nights. I'm sick of spending them alone and going to bed at 10 o clock and waking up on Saturdays thinking "what's the point in bothering to leave the house?"

You just need a more positive (positiver? I've never had to use this word in my life before) outlook on life. You're not a dateless loser, you just have more time for Pokemon now!

I hate how lonely I feel right now. I know I'm not alone and I shouldn't complain but I can't stand feeling like this.

Ah this reminds me a lot of Otis Redding when he says "and this loneliness won't leave me alone." Only when he says it it's in reference to leaving everything and everyone behind to travel 2000 miles only to come to the horrific realization he had nothing to live for and it looks like nothing will come his way, even now that he's left, so--
wait no, that's totally different.

It's like everyones changing and growing up and having fun, and I'm stuck being the same old me with no life.

Somehow when Otis does this it's more meaningful than when you do it.
Oh right, talent. Yeah. That helps a lot.
Also Otis frames it a little different. His is more indifference towards his situation, kind like he's resigned to it, so you feel more for his situation than had he just blatantly whined about bullshit.

I am currently the heaviest I have ever been.
I don't know how to feel about that.

You should feel good about yourself if you're a boxer. Otherwise-- probably disappointment.

So I have no real reason to complain.

... BUT?Oh wow, she's really not whining this post.
Good work, then. "Steady on", as you British say.

I want to talk to you all about my body, because I think I aught to share this revelation with you all.

Yes, this is an important revelation. It's like the Apocalypse of Saint John, it's that important.
You thought all that Trumpets of Jericho and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and the Dragon and the one third of the waters being turned to blood bullshit were dramatic?
Let me tell you, it has nothing on what's about to follow.

As I am sure you all know, or are in denial about, I am a bit bigger than your average girl. Horizontally anyway.

Translation: I am fat.

Vertically, I'm tiny. I have hips and boobs and a belly, arms and thighs that wobble when I move.

Translation: I am shaped like a meatball.

People always say that that's how I'm supposed to look and how "real women have hips and a belly"

No they don't, shut up. That's just fat people comforting other fat people.

but let's face it, they'd all rather look like Megan Fox than Aretha Franklin.

They'd rather have a man face than be fat-- err, bad analogy.

I've always been extremely self conscious and insecure about my body and my weight. I am not telling you that now, I no longer have these insecurities, because I'd be lying. But tonight, something changed.

Here we go, revelation time. This is going to be great, I can feel it~

I still do not like how wobbly I am. But I have started to develop a certain respect for my body. I know, right? It's completely insane.

I think a part of it is because I know that society and the rest of the world HATES it. Every clothes store and fashion magazine is dedicated to stick thin women whose ideas of "curves" is being able to see their hip bone sticking out. And as much as people say that curves are in, teenagers are getting skinnier and skinnier.

THE MEDIA HAS AN UNREALISTIC EXPECTATION OF WOMEN BLAH BLAH BLAH EATING A HOAGIE NOW

And it's sickening. By being the way I am, I am rebelling against society in my own way.

You and every other slob American/Englishman/German whatever the flying fuck you are.
Also, yeah, real impressive. Rebelling by doing exactly what you were doing before. I'm rebelling against organized society by playing video games today.
MAAAAAAN I'M TOTALLY BONKERS! COUNTERCULTURE, ANARCHY!

Another thing is, recently, I've been looking at thin girls, and thinking "okay she's thin. Nothing wobbles and she has a beautifully generic face and figure. What's so special about her?"

She's in magazines and you aren't?

You probably don't understand what that means, but not long ago, as short as a few weeks ago in fact, I would have looked at that girl and thought "God, she's so thin, I HAVE to be her!"

Yeah I had a similar debate with some Pokebros recently about the effectiveness of Scizor. They said he's overused Smogon faggotry, and while I had to cede the point, I think they gained a new appreciation when I trapped half a team with mine. Pursuit ruins your faggot shit, faggot.
It's a praying mantis made out of metal. What's not to like?

But, I've started being bored by perfect people. My imperfections are what make me who I am, you know?

Ah, but what if the perfect looking girl also has a perfect personality to match? You'd be positively inferior by comparison, because all you ever do is bitch about how you're not perfect, and now I'm supposed to laud that as superior because it makes you who you are, whatever the fuck that means?

So where has all this come from? Anyone who knows how self conscious I am, knows that this is almost as big as the time Galileo said that the rest of the universe actually revolved around the sun.

I'm pretty sure Copernicus was the one that suggested that. Displacing the previously held Ptolemaic model, don't you know.

Today is Ash Wednesday A.K.A the first day of lent A.K.A the day I go vegetarian. Yes that's right my friends, I'm giving up meat for lent.

I'm sure the reaction she's looking for is something like this:
But it's not happening.
Now there's a post about "guys she'd sex it up with" and I'm starting to think about putting my head in front of my desirous M61 Vulcan.
I think that's a sign it's quitting time. Enjoy your hoagies, fatties.

I, Livejournal

I am Livejournal
I scale back convenience for the sake of more ads
I play bad game Runescape
Thankfully, though, today it didn't take very long at all to find this.

Am I seriously gonna fall out of the jrock fandom for kpop...? I mean, I love both fandoms, but it's seriously hard for me to love two fandoms at the same time.

I always wonder about people like this. I LOVE THE FANDOM. Really? You like the people who like stuff? Eh, I love Final Fantasy but the other fans of Final Fantasy are pretty much the biggest group of assholes imaginable outside of a Nazi rally.
Also yes, it is very trying to listen to Korean and Japanese music at the same time. In fact, I'd wager listening to any two songs at the same time would just be a lot of noise.
Or wait, no, she just loves two fandoms at the same time. Who gives a shit? Is it really that hard to keep generiJapanese music straight? Japan is going through the same transition American music did (to complete shit, that is) a few years ago: everything is a Dir en Grey (which itself is equivalent to Linkin Park in terms of emo faggotry) clone.

Okaaaiz. So earlier today I discovered the Livejournal app for the iPod Touchie.

:|

You can learn a lot about someone from the music they listen to. Here's the game: hit shuffle on your music player, and write down the first 25 songs that come up.

Seems overzealous to do this 25 times, so I'm just going to do it once and we'll compare our number ones.
I got Twisted Sister, what'd you get?

9th Revolver - Alice Nine

Ha, ha you suck I win holy shit
Anyone know what that is, even?
Let's see--Are they girls?
No--Wait I have a visual to go with this:Now there's a post so incredibly horrific my skeleton almost jumped clear out of my skin to escape the embarrassment of having to read it.
I'm not going to reproduce it here because my font would go APESHIT and I'd never be able to fix it, but if you want to experience what it's like being a skin bag filled with guts and blood, you can check it out here.

Hm... This makes me sound like a nerd/geek/nerdy-geek, right...? Like I study 24/7 so I can get good grades. But the truth is that... I don't ever study... I barely even study for tests... LOL. (￣□￣；)

Seriously the entire post is XD and THOSE FUCKING EMOTICONS.

Name twelve of your favorite Jrockers :

I'm going to modify this exercise and try to just name 12.
...
...
...
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Uhh...
Well, good thing my grade in Japanese class doesn't revolve around pop culture.

Hm... I've realized, I don't fangirl enough on my lj... How strange.

Sounds like a trip to the Tylenol cabinet for me after this post.

2000 - I was 4. Still innocent. I everyday at recess,

So that makes you... 14.
OHHHHH.
That's why you're so annoying. All right.

01. I've come to realize that my butt: has been touched by various people.... Seriously. LOL

LOL XD holy shit.

Have you ever gotten that feeling when you wondered why you are born? Like you are the total waste on this beautiful planet filled with amazing people?

>planet filled with amazing people
What, are you from Mars or something?

And you are only making this world worse because you existed? Heh. I feel like this every single second.

Well you're certainly making my world worse currently.

Me : " I wonder what Kanon tastes like..."

My friend #1 : "OHHHH~~~"

My friend #2 : " Thinking dirty again, eh?"

Me : *Suddenly realized what I had just said... and RUNS AWAY LIKE A TURTLE IN PAIN while dying inside of mixed feelings

Cool it, girl. I'm going to get a hose, Jesus Christ.

OMG GUESS WHAT PEOPLE???
THIS IS MY FIRST ENTRY ON MY OWN LIVEJOURNAL!!!!
I'm so proud of myself. (?)

What? What? I'm done?
Man I wish school were this easy. WELL WE'RE DONE EARLY I GUESS YOU CAN GET STARTED ON UNCLE TOM'S CABIN (I'm only 50 pages in now, jinkies!)
Somehow I'm two books a head in Paradise Lost because of Uncle Tom's Cabin. I'm not sure how that happened. I guess because Paradise Lost was still work to sit there and read it I feel justified in not reading Uncle Tom's Cabin because look how far I am in Paradise Lost now.

I WANNA BE YOUR SLEDGEHAMMER

Today is Paperwork Friday, because 90% of the posts were about friend list (or "flist" as it's frequently called on Livejournal) cuts. I like to imagine whoever is posting this is talking like how a coach might to a football team when this is happening.
So here we go with our blog for the day: "he waits for the greater silence"
I don't know what that means but rest assured this is a man, and he doesn't seem to be gay, though the BRIGHT PURPLE microfont on a black background (very blinding too, thanks) might lead one to believe otherwise. Oh, also his avatar is a girl.
So let's figure this out.

Lately, I've felt like I'm that guy that everyone tells secrets too. It's as if I can look at people and I can see them differently than anyone else can. For instance:

Very interesting captain, but I'm pretty much the lorebearer for my entire circle of friends so this is old hat for me.

I know how one person feels about there best friend and it cascades this different light about their friendship.

Oh wow you know how people feel about each other! Aren't you on the inside track?
Tell you what, chief, when the deep dark secrets come out and you know for a fact you could, if you so chose, play those off each other for disastrous effect then you're officially "the secrets guy".

I know how to turn a certain girl on so much that she will jump on my lap and fuck my brains out.

Oh that's really--

But she says she doesn't want to have sex again till marriage.

AGAIN until marriage. Great. Real catch you got there, friend.

interestingly enough, whenever I say to someone I met a "smart chick" once, girls get really defensive as if I mean it is them.

Why would you get defensive about that? You have some friends, friend. Just end that statement with "don't worry I still think you're functionally retarded."

Yesterday I asked my friends/coworkers a pretty important question I think

"would you go out with a girl knowingly that the night before she sucked off one of your close friends?"

My first question to you would have to be "what brought this about?"
Also, yeah I think I would. Provided she brushed her teeth some point after that and before our meeting, of course.

I was struggling with my own views and answer on the situation. I was on the fence about it for 10 hours yesterday. Hearing their answer made it an even easier choice.

What, did this happen to you or something?

you know what I really hate? How girls can look so immensely sexy without even trying.

Yeah fuck that, man. They should all be hideous :c

They have so many options to look so damn desirable and what about guys what do they have?

I don't even know what to say to you right now. Who cares?

It's really interesting to hear that people talk about you behind your back.

I've only caught people talking about me several times behind my back, but it's almost universally positive so I'm not really sure what having someone "really" talk behind your back is like.
You're going to have to tell me what being an unlikeable douche is like sometime.

the biggest reason i think i can never find "love" is because i have a wondering eye.

Wandering* eye.

Okay, I've had enough. No more filipino girls, unless they are part flip.

...
What?
Flip is an "ethnically insensitive" term for Filipino, so I'm not really sure how you can--
Oh I bet I know what happened. Started working a girl over, got to the panties zone and oops! found a bulge.
Gotta be careful of those Southeast Asian broads, man.

I threw in my two weeks notice at hollister.

This reminds me of a very fun game: The Hollister Game.
Since all Hollisters are laid out on the same bizarre circular pattern, try to make it from the entrance all the way around the store and back out without being asked of you need help. If you want to play "Dante must die" mode, try to make it to the other end without getting that "you shouldn't be here, nonhipster" look.

I feel rather wretched and horrible. And no I'm not going to elaborate.

So why are you posting?

Turns out having a lip tattoo that says "Fuck off" is a deal breaker when joining the marines. Now I'm super glad I got a lip tattoo.

... What the fuck is wrong with the marines? I see some yahoo with enough crossed wires to get the word "fuck" tattooed to his face and I see a perfect candidate. Although the real reason the marines didn't want this particular yahoo is because he's a goddamn pussy but really I think the marines need to reexamine their recruiting practices.

Lately, I've noticed that whenever I come up with tattoo ideas, they always seem to relate back to greek mythology. For instance, my next tattoo is going to be a flock of ravens (4 in total). Those ravens are in reference to Huginn and Muginn, Odins two ravens that stand for Thought and Memory.

That's Norse mythology, idiot. At least try to understand what you're tattooing to your skin forever before you do it.

A tattoo idea I'm mulling around in my head is a wolf, specifically Fenrir. Fenrir apparently ate Odin and Odin's son ends up slaying the wolf.

... No, that's-- actually, forget it.
Christ.

How can you respect a man, who isn't a man, but rather a coward and acts out like a child?

I think Warhammer is patently clear on this issue:
++COWARDS DIE IN SHAME++

Random thought: I like girls with short hair. I'm also really diggin' girls with brown skin. I have no idea why.

Well while your opinions on women are endlessly fascinating, I think it's time I find something more productive to do with my time.
Like sticking a pickaxe up my nose, perhaps.