It has been a while

I kept meaning to update but Friday was TERA beta 2 day and then Monday I was planning on updating late but then work called and said I had to be in on Tuesday so I had to be going to bed but here we are anyway.
I'm not sure why I felt the need to explain myself. This isn't Livejournal, after all.
Anyway get ready for a lesson in self indulgence and reproduction.
Lordy it's coming.

My posts are about 80% friends only and 20% public. Please feel free to add me, but I'd like to know where you found me and what we might have in common before I'll add you back. Thanks!

Considering you update literally every day I'm left with the perplexing reality that you post five times a day.

How are you celebrating Leap Day?

Celebrating leap year.
This is a holiday now, apparently.

By mourning the death of my first true love, Davy Jones. I hope this isn't the start of a Leap Year trend or anything. If so, you're next David Bowie (who, ironically, is also named David Jones).

That's not ironic. That's barely even a coincidence.
What, did Davey Jones die on a leap year?
Is this his birthday?
Did David Bowie die and no one told me?

For the first week of my bed rest, rather than gaining 5 pounds like I expected, I actually LOST two pounds. Who would have thought.

Hang on I'm gonna call Fox News--

It's super vain and silly, but I feel like I look SO BANGIN in this photo from our maternity shoot earlier today. I just had to say it.

>huge, fat ass
>disgustingly wide hips
>matronly arms
I AM SO FUCKING TURNED ON RIGHT NOW JESUS CHRIST
Here's a picture of her other spawn holding a sign that says "28 weeks" and she's all big and pregnant.
This really is indulgent and vain, she wasn't joking.

There are a bunch more on my flickr, including closeups of my awesome hair and makeup. Marshall was in charge of directing the poses, by the way.

CLOSEUPS OF HAIR AND MAKEUP?
We truly live in a great time.
Oh and there are your fat legs.
And a closeup of your face, this is great.
And you generously provide a profile view.
And a 3/4ths view
And a frontal view.
I can fully review the unfortunate reality of your facial structure now.
Your nose is very large.
Your eyelids are too heavy.
Lips are too thin.
Your cheekbones and chin appear within an acceptable range, however.
Eyebrows are sparse and oddly shaped--
Small ears.
All in all not too bad, though. Assuming 5 is average I'd give you a solid 6.0/10.
No excuse to be acting like this, but then again there is no excuse to be acting like this.
Here's a post entitled "super creepy sky" and not to be a complete dickhead but that sky looks cool as hell.

Here are the fabrics I bought the other day. The one on the left will be a dress or skirt and a pair of Marshall shorts, the second will be a skirt, and the rest are Marshall shorts. I can't wait to get started!

HERE ARE SOME COLORS I'M USING TO PAINT WARHAMS
LET THE INTERNET BE INFORMED.
Seriously who gives a shit?
Also I couldn't link all the ink I'm using because they don't make it anymore.

Look at the amazing vintage red cape my coworker gave me today! She found it in her mother-in-law's attic this weekend and immediately thought of me, rescuing it from the Goodwill pile. I'm so in love with it, I feel like it's easily the coolest thing I now own.

Look at those cankles, man.
I know I'm not linking any of the pictures but you can go to her blog and click on any solitary entry and see her so whatever I'm not going through that exercise in tedium.

Pretty spontaneous. Aaron, our friend Derek, and I got matching scissor tattoos on our middle fingers, simply because I dreamed that we were going to.

You can now never get a job teaching.
Congratulations.
And here's another tattoo-- you'd think someone who took pride in the quality of her skin she'd be hesitant to junk it up with paintings of cats.

I'm having a really bad day at work. Just needed to share.

Fucking off on the internet.
You know maybe you should do something about it instead of whining. I know when I'm busy at work there's no time for moaning.
Here's a post where she says she loves doing laundry.
There's a good wife.
I guess.

I'm trying to find some cute birthday party invites for Marshall, and everything is failing me. Even etsy, and I was so sure I'd find a million amazing things.

Marshall.
Why'd you name your kid Marshall? Do you hate him?
Mark. There we go.

My plan was for something involving a red fox, inspired by the movie "The Fox and The Child" (go rent it, it's beautiful). I want the colors to be mostly light robin's egg blues and reddish oranges.

All my colors end up looking desaturated like it's a WW2 movie.
Maybe I'm depressed.
I'm trying to paint this one Dark Eldar bitch's hair strawberry blonde and I'm having trouble reconciling the typical color of that with my love for desaturation.
Here's an uplifting story about a little girl dying of cancer--
Wow, she really posts about how sad she feels and can't figure out why. Could it be you're reading about dying cancer patients?
Oh there's your hair but it's brown. I knew you weren't a natural redhead.

I know this is probably a long shot, but can anyone confirm or deny for me that Petra Hayden is dead??

I'M ON THE INFORMATION SUPER HIGHWAY BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIND INFORMATION PLEASE HELP!!!
Here's a post saying she should dye her hair strawberry blonde which is funny because I just got done mentioning how much of a PAIN IN THE ASS that is to paint--
I don't think you should, incidentally. It's a lot of work.
Here's a list of things you're supposed to check off. You check it if you're afraid of this thing and if you score more than a certain amount you should seek counseling.
I don't see a "I FEAR NOTHING FOR I AM FEAR INCARNATE" option so I guess I'll just skip this little test.

[X] monsters under my bed (shut up! I saw a movie once and it's haunted me forever.)

Bitch are you 5?
Also I was just informed Davey Jones died.
Welp.

09. What did you want to be when you grew up?
A housewife. Unfortunately, I am grown up.

Sellout.

11. Which characters are overrated?
Kanji? Does that count?

As in one of the three primary writing systems of Japanese?
Or the guy from Persona 4?
He was a good character, fuck you.
I mean everyone pats Bioware on the back for exploring gay characters in video games and how brave it is of them but here's a gay character actually handled tastefully and no one says word fucking one.
Bioware's answer to gay characters is to have them have a ton of gay sex. They are defined through having gay sex.
And then girls can do their annoying fangirl squee shit over it and I get a migraine.
Kanji was a deep character who was incidentally gay.
You know, exactly like A REAL FUCKING PERSON?
God people who like video games suck.
I didn't like Persona 4 as much as 3. The character development felt a little more strained, honestly.
Considering the entire plot revolves around character development in a realistic and meaningful way that's a pretty serious charge to levy.

Everyone wants to see me as a blonde again, so it would be the perfect opportunity to do that again.

Everyone.
Also people like Persona 4's gameplay more than 3 but again I have to disagree. 3 was a legitimate challenge but 4 was that artificial "hurrr enemies deal 2x damage so hard" challenge.
I mean sure the friendly AI in 3 was dumb but it wasn't that bad.
Unless you're using Mitsuru.
But then again what kind of idiot uses Mitsuru?
the AI in that game sure loved its status effects.
Oh right I was supposed to be reviewing a blog.
This one sucks.
There, reviewed.
GO HOME.

Oh my God J.C. a bomb!

A bomb
Fanfiction, anime AHOY.
We're off to a great start because the first entry is entitled "the purpose of this journal" I guess written in case the author conveniently forgot.

Hello all. So I've never been overly impressed with Live Journals and never really had a need of one.

...
So here I am, on Livejournal, signing up.
Did you ever stop to question your actions?
You know when I saw the Sony Vita I took one look at that and said "I'm not really impressed, so I don't think I need to go buy one" and to this day I still don't own one.
I might change my mind but then I won't be saying "I'm not really impressed, so I don't think I need to buy one" why on earth would you sign up for something you don't need and aren't impressed with?
Why for the love of fuck would you post constantly to it?

What will be posted in this journal:

1. Fanfics. These will be new fanfics, and fanfics I've brought over from my ff.net account.

Off to a great start already.

2. Roleplay fics. These are of no general interest to anyone but the roleplay members in question.

God, why

3. Plot ideas. I'm extremely creative. No, I'm not just saying that. Basically, I have far too many ideas than it is ever possible to write and am willing to throw a few out there to those of you who are interested. Some will be marked for me for later reference, others I'll just open up to first come first serve.

Oh how kind. You mean I can really use one of your ideas?

What do you need to know about me?

Yes, enough waffle. What do I need to know about you, fanfiction cunt writer #518743a?
I'm really ready to sit down and enjoy a good fanfiction so what do I, a mere mortal, need to know about such a lofty member of the literati as a fanfiction writer on Livejournal?

I'm blunt, I don't hold punches, and I will politely tell you to go f*** yourself if you annoy me.

You don't hold punches but you also don't want to write "fuck" on the internet.
Seems like a bit of a contradiction to me but what do I know?

On the whole though, I'm a pretty nice gal who prefers not to eat her visitors for lunch. Constructive Criticism is always welcome. Out right hate is reported, blocked, and otherwise ignored except for maybe a quick laugh.

Reported, blocked, cops called, house set on fire.

Also, I'm a sarcastic Catholic liberal who occasionally breaks out into valley girl and adores chocolate. I think that about sums everything up.

Ohboyherewego
So already I have a great feeling about this.

But someone needs to hear my Kodansha ravings.

Someone needs to hear this and apparently I'm bearing testament.
Lucky me.

So. As if the whole their/there fiasco in the Sailor V manga wasn't enough, I'm reading the new translation of Sailor Moon, volume 1. While I'm glad they're calling her Usagi instead of 'Bunny' as a nickname for Serena, and of certain other translation things, there are some times I just want to smack the translators around.

Translating Sailor Moon is serious fucking business.
This needs to be heard. You know when a Roman Emperor decreed something to be so on pain of death?
That's something that needs to be heard. This is all bullshit.

I can't even keep up the sarcasm that this is something worthy of reading. This is such nonsense.
Mainly 'Bump Head'. Bump Head is probably the single worst translation of Odango-Atama that I have ever heard.

Sounds like a pretty literal translation to me, but what do I know?
I've only had four semester of Japanese, I haven't read the entire Sailor Moon Chronicle.

Seriously, guys. While admittedly there will be some new people who are just now getting interested in Sailor Moon with the manga's re-release, most of your sales are going to be hard core fans. We all know what Odango-Atama really means and why he calls her that. 'Dumpling Head' is what most fan translations use, and that's the one that we're all going to recognize. 'Bump Head'?

Well odango is literally a bun and English speakers might readily confuse a bun (food) with a bun (hairstyle).
Because you have hair on your head, you know?
So you'd pick a different word--
Why am I explaining this to you?

Damn. That makes me wish for the dub. Meatball head was better than that. Much better. Pathetically much better. Bump Head is awful. Later on he starts calling her 'Bun Head' which makes a little more sense and is a bit better, but did they have to use Bump Head first?

Because words--
sometimes words are spelled the same but have two different meanings, see.
And--
then you translate anime for hardcore fans that'll hate it no matter what you do so you might as well try to appeal to a younger, dumber audience before they turn into fanfiction writing Amerifats--

That's the only really jarring thing I can remember at the moment.

So that's what has you so upset.
One word choice.

Damn it. Now I want to replay the game. Except then I'd have to still get through Sailor Mercury in Nepal, and you have to level her up, by herself, to level 18 from level 5 or 6 before she can even hit the boss for more than 1 or 2 hp. >.< Really, couldn't you have nerphed Nergal down a little so that Ami-chan can actually defeat her? I hate that part of the game... It takes so looooooooooooooong since the enemies don't get stronger. T_T

Complaining about grinding in an early 90s RPG?
You don't even know the meaning of grinding.
I mean I'm not too familiar with Sailor Moon the RPG but I imagine level 6-18 is very doable and the game probably isn't that long in the first place because like all cash in games that are made specifically because someone got the rights to something popular they had about 3 months to go from planning to finished product in case the fad bubble broke.

I don't think I really want to write the characters, but I've been enjoying reading the fics recently. And today when I had a very rough day at work (not really a bad one, but just... rough), I kinda decided to screw all the things I was supposed to be doing (rewatching Ice Warriors serials for my next Amy-verse fic, listening to podfics that I really do need to listen to, and so forth) and read ridiculously fluffy fic.

Stuff you NEED to do, like read fanfiction.
You keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means.
Usually when you need to do something if you don't something bad happens.
Like if you don't go to work you get fired and end up homeless, if you don't breathe you die-- what happens if you don't read fanfiction?
Exactly.

That said, I've mostly just been ignoring the sex fics. Of which there are a lot of. I'll read one or two every so often just because there are good fics out there that include sex, but I'm fairly sure you guys all know my stance on this by now.

Yes, we all do.
And I hope everyone is falling in line.

Cy actually got the brunt of my complaining, since she always complains to me when she has to write a sex scene. It was only fair to turn the tables on her. She was also absolutely no help with the whole sex thing, being asexual and finding porn just as dull as I do.

Asexual?
Are you sure?
Are you sure she's just asexual and not a polyamorous asexual dual spirit furry hermaphrodite trapped in a woman's body?
All right I'll stop.
I think with everyone confusing want with need and with everyone affixing ten million labels to their bodies like idiots I've solved this riddle.
People will have a thought in passing like "wow what if people had squirrel souls" or whatever idiotic shit they think when they're cutting me off in traffic and then they forget that thinking doesn't mean believing and so they think "wow I must have a squirrel spirit" and then it goes from there.

There are some things that do turn me on though. One of the short stories in Firecracker is Melancholy by Arina Tanemura has a scene where the main male character takes the main female character's hand and looks at her, not with lust, but with just this serious sort of look and kisses her hand. I was madly blushing and suddenly very hot and flustered.

Girls.

So, future husband, if you are reading this, don't send me dirty text messages. Just sketch me like a non-French girl and I'll apparently find that incredibly sexy. I'm weird, I know. Just go with it.

If her future husband happens along my post: run far away, man.
In fact, I Ran should be playing through your head right now.

So, Cy asked me a while back what I would do if I were the head writer for Doctor Who.

I know what I'd do.
Watch an episode of Dr. Who.
Hasn't that show been on for like 75 years? I'd watch one from the 80s. None of that new shit counts.
Although I think I saw the lead actor on an episode or two of QI and he was pretty funny from what I recall.
So maybe he's all right after all.
I don't understand the rest of this post so I'm skipping it.

So apparently I need some sort of Doctor Who/Three Musketeer crossover.

Sorry, Alexander Dumas.
Apparently no one is spared the tragedy of fanfiction.
Well I guess it's exactly like Dumas said:

There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state with another, nothing more

In this case comparing shit with good writing.

However, after watching the new Three Musketeers and seeing James Corden (Craig in New Who), we decided to make a day of it. Now we're watching the Disney version, which will be followed by the Micheal York version.

Ain't readin' no books, though. Reading books won't make you a good writer.

So, I did a bit of house cleaning today. Or more correctly, tag cleaning. All Doctor Who fics now have Doctor and Master tags corresponding to which ones the fics contain. If you want to read my Eleventh Doctor fics, you can now click on the handy little Eleventh Doctor tag.

O, happy day.
I don't know why but I'm getting increasingly angry every time I click on a fanfiction.
I don't know why I would be because I knew what I was getting into but it just throws me right the fuck off I can't see everything on the goddamn front page because of this shitty "HURRR CONTENT NOT APPROPRIATE FOR MINORS" garbage.
What's the point of even having a front page? Just have a giant middle fucking finger instead. It achieves the same effect for none of the effort.
I curse like a goddamn sailor on this blog and I've never even been flagged. They're just fucking words you retarded cunt. You admitted yourself you're not writing porn so can you please knock this shit off?

Gundam Wing - Oh, Gundam Wing. I still love thee

Is it some sort of rule that the only Gundam anime nerd girls know about is Gundam Wing?
You know it has been on for like 30 years, right?
Watch some Gundam 0083. It might be your first step towards not being an awful human being.
Actually no shit you can see how Gundam Wing is for girls and Gundam 0083 is for manly men like myself from half of one sentence in each of their respective Wikipedia entries:

the series focuses primarily on the Gundam pilots: Heero Yuy (an alias, not to be confused with the martyred pacifist), Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, Quatre Raberba Winner, and Chang Wufei.

versus:

the series focuses on the crew of the Earth Federation Space Force assault carrier Albion as they try to recover a nuclear-armed Gundam mobile suit stolen by a Zeon group at a base in Australia.

And yet even Gundam fans haven't seen 0083 and everyone (even non-anime fans) have seen Gundam Wing.
I wonder why Gundam sucks now?
Fuck people.
I mean you can see right from those half sentences how Gundam 0083 has a plot (gotta get that nuke Gundam back!) and how Gundam Wing is a soap opera that happens to sometimes have a robot in the background.
Didn't you girls have your own hobbies and TV shows? Why do you have to ruin mine?
You don't see a bunch of nerd guys wandering into your territory like My Little Pony and--
fuck everyone.
What is wrong with writers?
Why am I apparently the only person that sees shit like this? Aren't you chucklefucks paying attention?
Writing a good Gundam series isn't hard.
18 year old naive kid joins the Federation or Zeon, gets thrust into a situation way beyond his ability to comprehend, ends up piloting the Gundam because by virtue he's there even though there are way more experienced pilots, ends up having to pilot the Gundam again despite not wanting to due to some contrived reason,
ends up flirting with some whore, gets his heart broken or he fumbles hardcore because he's a tool factory (or both if you're Amuro)
then he has to kill tons and tons of people in a space war
and then we find out maybe we are all the space Nazis after all and real life isn't a fairy tale and maybe the price of victory is too high after all
but it's okay because if you're Amuro you scored with a brown girl.
Then you die to a sniper if you're the book Amuro or you burn to death in Earth's atmosphere if you're anime Amuro
and then we're all a little wiser, roll credits.
IS THAT SO FUCKING MUCH TO ASK?
I DIDN'T ASK FOR A GODDAMN SOAP OPERA SET IN SPACE, ASSHOLES.
Sorry what were we talking about before this?
I forget.
Fuck it I have a headache now.

This is terrible

What a shame
Are you guys ready for TERA beta this weekend?
I can't wait.

Given the choice of time travel, would you go back in time or forward?

Today's writer's block.
Either answer is good, really. Using your knowledge of events to come to conquer the past is a worthy goal.
Traveling to the grimdark year of 40,000 is also a good goal as well but you might find yourself in some kind of culture shock.
I guess you would in the past as well but at least you're a space man to those primitives.

I have absolutely no need to know the future! It would only freak me out.

Being able to time travel wouldn't freak you out but GOING INTO THE FUTURE WHAT?
Also shouldn't you always be freaked out, then? We're all traveling to the future, just really slow.

But, going backwards in time, that would be fun!And there would be all kinds of havoc, ba ha ha HA!, that I could wreak by, of course, trying really hard to make things better. Like, "Don't step in front of that bus" kinda stuff.

Really, that's all you can come up with? Going into the past to keep people from stepping in front of buses?
What if you set off a chain of events that caused Hitler to win WW2, exactly like that episode of Star Trek?
The only true answer is to conquer the past or travel to the year 40,000.

Wish I could go back to high school and tell off tons of people instead of fantasizing about doing it now, at my 25th Reunion this summer.

>Going to your high school reunion
Here's a really long and boring post about how dry her eyes are and how they're not dry anymore.
Who does she thank for this?
Jesus, of course.
Well he did heal the blind I guess.

For three months now, I have been trying unsuccessfully to get the guys off to school on time.

They both come from Spanish cultures and time is not a big deal, plus we fundamentally disagree on what time they need to be up at the school. I think, living five minutes with no traffic from the school, that we need to leave the house 10 minutes before the bell rings. Believe me, with all the last-minute traffic, even when we leave with that luxurious window of time, we still pull up about the time the bell rings.

>5 minutes with no traffic
>schedule 10 minutes in
HOW ABOUT 20 IN CASE THE TRAFFIC IS REALLY AWFUL?
So her kids are lazy shits and don't show up on time, got it.
Now she's saying they'll get fired in the future but since my generation is filled with babies I imagine work will turn into adult daycare in the future.

Okay, I weigh about 180 lbs, or less, (because I don't keep scales in my house anymore, and have to go to the doctor's office to find out how much I weigh), at five foot 9, which would never, even in an alternate universe, be considered skinny, but keep in mind that I weighed 450 lbs (or higher!!) for 10 to 15 years.

"I'm not skinny" and yet this entry is entitled skinny.
I can't wait to see how 180 pounds at 5'9" (I'm taller and yet manage to weigh significantly less and I'm a man, who are supposed to weigh more than women) is justified as skinny.

Also consider that I have 20 to 30 pounds of excess skin and if it were magically removed tomorrow, I'd weigh about 150 lbs or less.

So, for me, I'm not just skinny right now; I'm DAMNED SKINNY!!!

Bulletproof logic.
BMI: 26.6
Overweight: 25+
RUH-ROH.
Normal weight: 18.5-24.9
Undweight (skinny territory): ~18.5
You're almost 10 points off by my reckoning.

Wait, don't tell me! Now you're impressed, right???

Not really.
"Oh look, I'm doing what I should be doing I get a gold star, right?"

This is truly a miracle. Not the biggest miracle that has ever happened in my life, but it's certainly way up there on the list. Even if I were an atheist, I'd have to believe in Divine Goodness to explain this one.

I'd agree with you if willpower or liposuction didn't exist.
But unfortunately they do so I'm not lacking for rational explanations to this phenomenon.
I mean goddamn, this'd be like if I started pumping mad iron and when I gained huge muscles said "oh wow this must be the work of Jesus Christ and not ME LIFTING LOTS OF HEAVY SHIT."
There is not a way in which Zeus isn't a superior deity. There's a scene in The Aeneid where he has the option to save some asshole from himself and Zeus basically says "well I could save him but I shouldn't because he'll never learn this way."
So he doesn't and the guy dies and we all come away a little wiser.

Every day, I wake up, thanking God. Despite my current circumstances. And I have to believe that God didn't deliver me out of all this just for me to be completely and permanently disabled by this current sickness.

If you were a firm believer in Zeus you'd be thanking yourself because only faith in Zeus breeds conviction and willpower enough to make a change by yourself.

I had a super-duper good pain-day yesterday!!

Yes, I was still in pain. Yes, there were moments when it was really bad. But, those moments were incredibly sparse, even for a good day. I used probably one third the amount of eye drops that I normally use, and I even had to go grocery shopping

Oh man not grocery shopping holy fuck.
What a trooper.

Really, people don't realize it if they're lucky, but if you can get out of bed in the morning and you are blessed with the freedom and the ability to go about your day without being in pain, or without being stuck somewhere connected to a machine of some kind, or in some other way impeded, you are doing fantastic!

All those people in Africa caught up in brutal civil wars?
At least you're not hooked up to a machine!
Hey all you North Koreans, toiling under a brutal dictatorship?
Could be a lot worse. You could be toiling under a brutal dictatorship WITH DRY EYES!

Life is GREAT!!!

So, people suck sometimes. So what that you can't pay the bills on time, or you hate your job. You are not in pain!! You are not in agony every minute of the day!! What is there to complain about???

Yes my life sure isn't as hard as yours with your, what was it, DRY EYES?
I could have real problems like DRY EYES.

I feel so guilty that I haven't accomplished something absolutely outstanding in my life with the gift of health all these years that I didn't even appreciate.

Well I think we've already established God is directly meddling in your daily life so if you haven't currently achieved anything of note surely it is by His Will.
You know what I'd entitle this entire blog? "First World Problems".
MY KIDS ARE LATE TO SCHOOL AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TEACH THEM TO BE ON TIME WHAT!!!!
DRY EYES COME ON GUYS BE SERIOUS.
Literally this entire blog is about how she has no friends on Livejournal despite being at least 40 (who gives a shit about friends on the internet you're an adult with a family), dry eyes (which is a brutal health condition don't get me wrong) and a few brief mentions about how her kids are often late to school.
If my kid was late to school I'd just start waking him up earlier and earlier until he got the message.
CLEARLY YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO ADEQUATELY PREPARE.

What's worse: a pit of snakes or a pit of spiders?

Snakes.
Spiders in general don't give a fuck but snakes are assholes.

I'm thinking that the odds are that the pit of spiders is worse.

Most snakes, I think, are not poisonous.

Well if we're going by that logic most spiders aren't poisonous.
Even if they are their bites are a mild inconvenience but the few snakes that are poisonous will fuck you up.

And maybe it's the same way for spiders; I don't really know. But I think a larger percentage of spiders than snakes are harmful.

Of course even nonvenomous snakes can still fuck you up because they have filthy mouths.
All right well I'm tired of looking at her ugly face so I'm going to go do something else.
Fuck.

What a shame

One of these again.
Hope your score cards are revved up and you're seated comfortably.

I am sick and tired of being closeted. I am sick and tired of not being able to be my whole self except around a select group of friends.

Uh-huh. Can you hurry this along because I'm kind of tired and I started this a lot later than I meant to.

I am sick and tired of having to pretend that all the people who I am dating/seeing in some capacity outside of the chronologically first one aren't important to me and don't have significance in my life outside of friendship.

Can't believe I blew my TERA wad last post. What am I going to go off topic about today?

These people matter to me beyond the societally accepted bounds of friendship. They are my chosen family and in some cases also my dates, lovers, and partners. Even if it never amount to anything beyond friendship, that friendship is beyond words. I love them each in many and varied ways.

Who cares?

I need to come out again--this time as poly. It needs to happen, even if it is just to my parents and accepting friends outside of my chosen family. I feel like I am making an excuse, and maybe I am, but I don't know if I can comfortably do it while I am still slightly dependent on my parents. It would kill me to lose them and their support, but this is something I need to do, and I need to do it soon.

As poly.
Of course.
Hey just because you're a whore doesn't mean you need a special title.

I'm poly. My only completely monogamous relationship felt uncomfortable to me, quite restricting. My sister is mono.

OH GOD YES MORE LABELS TO AFFIX TO MY BODY.
GIVE ME THINGS TO CALL MYSELF OH YES I WANT TO LOOK LIKE A REFRIGERATOR WITH WORD MAGNETS STUCK ON ME FUCK YEAAAAAAH.

However, I suspect the same second statement may be true for her as well, at least to a certain extent, as she is a serial monogamist.

Serial monogamist.
Or slut, got it.
I find things are a lot easier when you get negative.

My mother is mono (from every indication I've ever gotten). I suspect when she was younger she was either non-monogamous or a serial monogamist. So, is this relationship non-conforming thing a matter of genetics or environment?

Whore mother, whore daughter.
Makes sense to me~

I am sick and tired of the media treating people who do not conform to one set standard of beauty as freaks, and the people who are attracted to them as abnormal, or simply something worth noting.

Fatty fat.
I read an article today that was all about how interracial marriage was on the rise and it's the first time it has hit 10%+ ever and how it'll probably go right back down and the whole jist of the article was how quaint the whole notion was.
Did I get butthurt?
Of course not. "Good," thought I, "more brown girls for me."
I've tried to bring the ignorant masses to wisdom, as weak and unworthy as they are.
Just like Jesus Christ.

I am no fashion model, not even a plus-sized one. Nor do I wish to be. I do love seeing people with a body-type similar to mine in the media, especially if it is done in a 100% respectful manner. But I look at the pictures and I wonder where the ones are that represent my friends' body types.

No one wants to see Amerifats in Vogue.

I am not skinny, by any extent of the imagination. I have not been in the "normal" weight section of the BMI for as long as I can recollect (problems with using BMI aside).

There is only one problem with BMI and it only pertains to people like Sylvester Stallone.
Or in the off chance your bones are infused with ceramic like Space Marines I guess but I'm guessing your average Space Marine would weigh something in the neighborhood of 700-800 pounds before armor so I doubt he gives a shit about nonsense like BMI.
The problem, of course, is BMI only takes mass into account (of course) so will call very muscular people obese when they clearly aren't.
That's when you employ something called common sense.

To be there, I would have to drop somewhere between 25 and 30 pounds.

I did something today I hadn't done in a while: I was trolling Omegle and I ran into this girl who thought she was a hot model while being 5'4" and 180 pounds.
I informed her she was a plus sized model at best and likely she was a cocksucking liar.
Then she told me she was a size 0.
She disconnected in a huff around the time I informed her Marilyn Monroe wasn't a size 0 and weighed far less than she did and was taller.
Man, people are dumb. Call a size 20 a size 0 and suddenly everyone thinks they're skinny. I think we're sending exactly the wrong message to people.

Most of my female friends, with a few exceptions, are bigger women. Many have been struggling their whole lives to come to acceptance of their body shapes, in the face of a world that tells them they need to change.

I think I just demonstrated evidence to the contrary.
You know there are skinny women out there (a couple, I think) and they need a positive image of skinny women too. This cuts both ways.
I don't understand why fatty fats take such offense to skinny people. It's not like they're telling you that you have to be skinny. They're merely presenting a smoking hot brown girl for you to dumbly gawk at. They're not saying you can ever be this attractive, peasant.
In fact it should be a relief. You should take one look at her and say "oh thank Christ I'll never possibly be that hot so I can now enjoy all this delicious McDonald's."
What if you were potentially that hot?
You might actually have to start working for it.

But no matter what the world tells them, I think they are beautiful, each and every one of them.

Conviction and fortitude, people. Jesus Christ. Not everyone is a special snowflake.

I hate it that it seems like my life and politics should revolve around my body: the contents of my uterus, the size and shape of my limbs and torso, the diet industry telling me that my body shape is wrong, whether I can move using my legs and feet, what I can eat, etc.

So tell them to go fuck themselves.
I mean you don't hear me bitching I can't be a space marine in real life (except constantly on this blog).
MAYBE
MAYBE BEING A SPACE MARINE STARTS ON THE INSIDE, HUH?
Oh my God it happened for real.
A post where she just lists all of the labels she affixes to herself.
Check this motherfucking shit out:

My orientation is

activist, ally, amorous, ask me, BDSM, beautiful, bi-romantic, bidyke, big sister, bisexual, brunette, caring, cisgender, cuddly, curious, cute, daughter, dork, female, feminist, gender fluid, girl, huggy, intelligent, interested, introvert, kinky, LGBTQIA, lady, liberal, lover, Miss, Ms., ma'am, me, miss, open, passionate, polyamorous, polysexual, polysnuggler, pro-choice, pro-sex feminist, queer, sapiosexual, sex positive, special, submissive, switch, weird, woman

What the actual fuck?
Let's not even dwell on this because I've been joking for like 3 entries about this and it finally happened and I'm honestly not sure what to say about it.
What's a polysnuggler? Sapiosexual? How can you be both submissive and a switch?
You know what? I said I wouldn't dwell on it so let's move along.

Is it more complimentary to have a gay guy say that I was attractive and if they were straight or bi they would go after me or to have a straight guy say the same thing and actually go after me? I lean towards the former, merely because the latter happens often enough to be more annoying than complimentary.

I don't think any of these things are compliments.

In one of my paralegal classes today we had four groups (well, that's all of the groups) doing presentations on the negotiations we have been doing for more than the last month--a project that's worth approximately a third of our grade. One of the groups did their negotiation on same-sex marriage.

Oh I used to love debate time in pussy sensitivity.
None of the topics ever affected me except one time there was a debate about genetic augmentation.
Guess who didn't get in that group?
Fuck school.

With this project we were supposed to be representing clients who have a stake in the issue or a firm stance on it. The same-sex marriage group was made up of two anti-equality groups and the HRC. For one, I don't appreciate people debating an issue that may personally affect me, depending on who I choose to marry, and definitely will affect some of my good friends.

Their presentation was such bullshit, too. It was a goddamn book report.
Everyone is aware what a gene is, dipshit. The question is whether it is morally right to create people inherently superior to non-enhanced humans.
And the answer is yes. If you disagree you are a recidivist.
Of course I was literally the only person in a class of about 150 people that was strongly for enhanced humans in exclusion even to non-enhanced humans.
I guess I'm a little ahead of my time.

But then I realized that most of the issues being discussed would have deep impacts on some or another person's life.

THE FUTURE.

They also got a number of relevant facts wrong about a subject that they were supposed to know inside and out.

That happened to this group of yahoos too.
There is a difference between hybridization and augmentation, assholes.
But it's best not to dwell on incompetence.

But what really set me off was that they considered civil unions an acceptable outcome and the idea of marriage was still to be reserved for a man and a woman.

Who
cares
Cancer is still treated with radiation (the 20th century's answer to the 14th century's jar of leeches)
Women still die in childbirth for no reason other than because they do
Man is still terrestrial
The economy is in shambles
Obama wants to make money out of cheaper materials (yet another bold move that neatly mirrors the actions of the final Roman Emperors)
Armor research still lags hopelessly behind weapons research
I mean seriously people still try to block bullets with ballistic weave and ablative ceramic plates and hope they're taking on small arms fire from a long range
Our most sophisticated man portable weapon is a slug thrower
The most intelligent artificial intelligence in the world takes a good thirty seconds to navigate a pair of steps with nothing impeding its progress
But what are we debating?
THE DEFINITION OF FUCKING MARRIAGE?
I mean imagine right now if aliens invaded. Ignoring that we'd be completely fucked they'd take one look at this and say "these people are so fucking dumb they had to write down what marriage was (something they invented, no less) in case they forgot what it was!" and then promptly conclude we deserved annihilation.
I guess I can take solace in the fact that none of these people are involved in the process of innovation but I can't help but feel this detracts attention from the important issues like any of the ones I've listed.

My hand was shaking so bad it was hard to drink my tea steadily, it was that bad. I started to calm down when I asked them whether just having civil unions for all couples (opposite and same-sex) would be okay and just let churches perform whatever types of ceremonies they want and leave all the rest to the state and they clarified that that was the actual intent of their arrangement.

So I calmed down and actually enjoyed the next (and last) presentation about immigration.

Immigration would be such a simple issue if we'd just follow my simple action plan.
You can't immigrate because there are no countries anymore.
There is only Holy Terra.
Man must be unified before the crusade into space can begin because petty squabbles stymie progress.
Takes an entire nation what, like 5 years to get a couple of dipshits on the moon?
It's going to take the entire species to actually make some progress I think.

I find it hard to figure out what to say in an introduction, because there are so many things. How much do I include to make things interesting in the future?

My introductory post is still one of my favorites.
Blogging is indeed the gangrene of the internet. Little did I realize how right that statement would prove.

I am a bi-dyke, queer, switch, polyamorous/non-monogamous lady, an unemployed, almost graduated college student, who upon graduation will have a BA in Political Science and a minor in Environmental Policy.

LABELS.

My queer label I think reflects me better than any one word could. I am a bisexual woman who has always been between 2 and 4 on the Kinsey scale. The dyke part reflects my dress and character: I am not especially feminine in dress or mannerisms. I prefer the word queer in many cases because it places me in a safe community and the other definition is a good way of describing me: odd.

Man you sure think a lot of yourself.

When I got into the (lite) BDSM scene I bottomed/was a submissive and that's still where I'm really comfortable being.

AKA "I like to be held down during sex"

However, I love topping my boyfriend because it really works in our relationship and it's what makes me comfortable in that context.

AKA "he is a spineless pussy and I wear the pants in this relationship"

I like being tied up, tying people up,

Told ya.
Man, do I speak crazy or what?
Someone should pay me for this.
Maybe I should add that to my resume. Maybe that's why I haven't been getting the big offers.
"I speak fluent crazy."
Livejournal has proven not a single person is straight or gay or bisexual anymore. Everyone is a massive laundry list of bullshit. I will interview everyone in your office and figure out a score card.
My services are surprisingly inexpensive considering I think this is the first service of its kind.
I will save your company a fuck ton in discrimination lawsuits because you didn't know that Tinkerbell Snowflake was actually a man who thinks he's a woman trapped in a woman's body with the dual spirit of a squirrel and a washtub basin.
No stone left unturned, no detail too small, no twist in the skein of nonsense too subtle to escape my attention.
All right I'm out.
Next weekend is the TERA beta.

Gotta catch 'em all

Livejournal users seem to collect labels. While there's nothing wrong with being gay or a feminist or a white man or whatever (there is something wrong with being a furry so I left that off the list) when you become a transsexual homosexual furry feminist communist Wiccan people like me start to think you're not so much for these causes as you are collecting as many labels in a desperate attempt to label yourself a special snowflake.
TRANSSEXUAL FURFAG HERE PROUD OF HIR IDENTITY xD
Oh God am I in for it today.
To be perfectly honest the thing that pissed me off most is how every single entry is behind a cut and all of the entries are only titled with the date which makes finding my place in this train wreck a nightmare. Imagine if you were reading a book and every time you wanted to bookmark your page you had to entire a wind tunnel first.
Also you can't be assed to just remember what page you were on because LOOK AT THIS SHIT.
Also I had to agree I was 18+ to read this.
Video games that only ask you be older than 17 include a video game with visible nipples on women and a game where you shoot up a Russian airport.
Thank you, Livejournal.
First entry and we're off to a good start:

Tumblr
I have one, for those who are interested: http://meganbryar.tumblr.com/

OH BOY TUMBLR.
You know, for when Livejournal and Twitter are too highbrow for you?
Also clicking on that and I'm instantly assaulted by a text wall of whining bullshit.
You know in Afghanistan one of the punishments for homosexuality (and heresy) is to have a wall toppled over on you. I think I understand where they're coming from now because I feel like I just had a wall of text tumbled (get it, TUMBLed, TUMBLr?) over on me and I feel a little violated, honestly.

Does this mean I'm leaving Livejournal? Not a bit. In fact, I'm most likely going to be more active here than I will be on Tumblr.

... "Let me tell you about this website I won't be posting to so I can tell you I'll be posting more on this website you're already aware of."
Seems a bit counter productive to me but what do I know?

The name is my rabbit character's name. I didn't feel comfortable using my legal name on a public website because I'm a paranoid little thing. Call me a coward. Though I'd love to actually adopt Megan as my legal name one day.

Then you'd have to change the name of your Tumblr because you'd be using your legal name.

Boyfriend
I have one.

That's right. eliki and I have been together since this last Christmas Eve, give or take a couple of days for various important e-mails to get through.

Qualifying statement he forgot: this is an e-boyfriend so SHIT AIN'T EVEN REAL.

Who or what is your opposite?

Remember this question?
God the pickings were slim that day.

I think that would have to be my twin brother. He's pretty much everything I'm not, and therefore he's the "normal" one by the standards of our society.

Translation: "he doesn't have a whiny blog on Livejournal and Tumblr where he attempts to affix as many labels as possible to himself."

I'm trans, he's not. He's married, while I'm not. Though I am dating someone again and quite happy about it. On that note, he's completely heterosexual, to the best of my knowledge, while I'm not.

I'm a heteronormative cisgender Caucasian heterosexual male.
Don't hit on me, silly brown girls.

He moved out of this nowhere little town and made it stick while I'm still stuck here.

So you're the bad twin. Got it.

We do agree on religion, though, in that we're both atheists, though he tends to lean more toward the anti-theist side while I simply maintain that because I haven't seen any satisfactory proof of any god or gods there's no reason to believe they exist.

Oh shit I forgot religion.
Heteronormative cisgender Caucasian heterosexual male nontheist with polytheistic sympathies.
SO MANY TITLES I MUST CAPTURE THEM ALL AND AFFIX THEM TO MY BODY.
Why can't we all just be people, maaaaan?

(There. More about me than you ever wanted to know!)

True statement.

All that and we still seem to get along better than many siblings seem to do. He's a good guy, if a tad too fond of video games for my taste,

Can one be too fond of video games?
Also you're a fit one to judge, furry.
"He's a little too into video games I mean what a nerd, right xP? Let me go cut a dickhole into my fursuit."

Write a poem or share one that you like.

No I don't think I should.

The problem with this question, of course, is that there are simply too many good poems to choose from.

Err, yes. Exactly the problem I was having.

What is your must-see holiday movie?

Die Hard.

Ha, well I think my answer is pretty obvious, really. I'd have to go with The Lion in Winter. The 1968 version with Peter O'Toole and Katherine Hepburn.

Obviously The Lion in Winter.
You know, that movie about King Richard (crusader extraordinaire) where he's emphatically not crusading and just being really boring and whines for two hours?
Thank you, Hollywood.

What's that you say? It's not really a holiday movie? Well, true, it's more a historical costume drama. But it's set during the Christmas of 1183, and isn't that close enough?

That was going to be my next point, yeah.

They even stuck in an anachronistic Christmas tree or two! Besides, isn't learning a thing or two about the history of the world more important than watching Ernest make a damned fool of himself in the same tired old movie you've been watching for the last 23 years?

I don't know if The Lion in Winter counts as "learning about history". I guess it does feature real historical figures but I don't think that really counts.
I mean if that counts then Call of Duty also counts because most of those take place in WW2.

Have you ever met anyone famous?

What do you want to bet he's met people no one has ever even heard of?

I think I've mentioned this several times before, but I did have the honor of meeting Peter S. Beagle once, when he came to give a reading at one of the local universities. I got his autograph, too, in my copy of his novel "Tamsin". Which makes it one of my most cherished possessions. Because I'm such a shameless fangirl.

Exactly.
Also I forgot this person identifies as female.
Whenever I see furry I just automatically think male.

Though I'm afraid I kind of babbled like an idiot when I met him, too.

I remember when I met C.P. Gause, hierarch of pussy sensitivity.
"This is Dr. Gause."
Blank stare to the girl next to me.
"The book we've been reading is written by him" she told me immediately.
MAN SHE WAS SUCH A GOOD FRIEND. HOW ELSE WOULD I HAVE KEPT THE SCORE STRAIGHT?

What do you believe we are missing in this world?

Conviction.

Really? Compassion and the genuine desire to try to understand each other without letting our preconceived prejudices stand in our way. An embracing of the concept of love for all human beings regardless of race, sex or gender identity which would allow each of us to really be who we are without fear.

But not religion, ethnicity or sexual orientation, apparently, because you excluded those from your list.

Would you rather be a vampire or a vampire hunter, and why?

We've been over this a hundred times. Vampire hunter is the only choice.

I don't want to be either one. Vampires are boring, especially the modern sort. Even when they don't sparkle they aren't particularly frightening. As for being a vampire hunter, I can think of better things to do with garlic than waste it on the undead.

AND THEN THERE'S THIS ASSHOLE.

I've always preferred werewolves.

Oh shit, the furry prefers people who turn into animals, there's a real shocker.
So enough of this nonsense, let's discuss TERA first.
I've never in my fucking life seen a character creator that had such thought given to your options and yet actively tried to prevent you from exploring your options.
The whole system was needlessly obtuse and limited in weird ways.
It sure made making a waifu needlessly tedious and difficult but I, of course, triumphed.
The game itself is damn fine, too. I recommend it. I sure hope the difficulty ramps up. Though from what I've heard it does later which is good because currently the insane combo I discovered kills all enemies in one hit.
Anyway check this waifu out:

Still some fine tuning yet but that is why you play in betas, eh?
Or is it to test gameplay features, I forget.
Not sure if I'm sold on the hair yet and her lips are maybe a little too large and yet not wide enough.
I tried to compromise with the half realistic, half animu style they were going for in game but I'm not sure if it worked out.
VOICE YOUR OPINION NOW. HOW DID I DO?
See this is where Edie Finds a Corpse gets interactive. I'm asking for my nonexistent reader base to cast their vote.
Anyway this furfag is boring. I'm going to go wait for TERA Closed Beta 2 which is in 2 weeks ;_;

GOTTA GO FAST

2 hours until the TERA beta servers are up so GOTTA GO FAST through all this bullshit.
Quick, go here.
Good now that's out of the way let's get started.

Describe your life in one sentence.

Man the writer's blocks have been really good in that they're really awful lately.

Seeking, surviving.

Soooo fucking deep.
Actually I think that'd be a good summary of my life. "Sooo fucking deep" in a sarcastic tone.

Music:Tori Amos - Leather | Powered by Last.fm

Oh God I'm in for it now.
Listening to Tori Amos while writing that, seriously? I can smell the douching products through my monitor.

I've always maintained that journalism is a career that depends less on a degree and more on ambition, cunning, determination, and all that other deviously good stuff.

I hope you're in for a disappointment because I've applied to journalist jobs and despite being a college graduate in a relevant field I got turned down because my degree wasn't specifically in journalism or I didn't already have years of experience in journalism.
In fact, after careful scrutiny of the field I can't think of a harsher field to get into right now. You know newspapers are kind of becoming a thing of the past and people would rather get their news through blog posts?
I mean we can discuss the implications of what it means to rely on cunts like you to generate non-biased stories but I think the thing you should be taking from this is you aren't going to be a journalist.

Still, just about every PR firm/ad agency/communications department is out for someone with a minimum of five years experience and a Masters. What do you need a Masters for when all you do all day is make other people's work (or screw-ups) sound prettier?!

Everyone lost their job. Why hire you, novitiate, when they can just as easily hire someone with 50 years' experience?

Ergo, I need experience to get the job I want.

I need a job to get the experience I need.

Apply for a shitty sales job, pray for death.
Also I think this is where your cunning would come in. You can make it ahead in retail, you know. Those jobs aren't exactly easy to acquire anymore either (speaking from personal experience now) but it can be done and a sight easier than journalism.

Ugh.

Thank God I'm at least employed, even if it is only freelancing. As to how that came around, the paper I interned for wanted to keep me on as a contributing writer (an honor which, according to my Dad, they rarely grant interns, so yay for ego boost).

So what's the fucking problem?
You're getting journalism experience. What, do you expect to be instantly recognized because you graduated college? That's not how the world works.
Sounds like daddy has you covered regardless. I'm guessing he got you the internship and pulled the strings to keep you around in the first place.
You should probably be asking him to teach you his power.

Oh well, it shouldn't be anything to complain about. I'm earning something and it does contribute to tackling a few expenses. I'm 21 and alive; there's enough fight in me.

I had to pee in a cup yesterday.
I think she debated sticking around to see if I wouldn't fuck around with the test which was fine but if she stuck around she better stand the fuck back because this is going to be a piss for the songs.
I didn't even know a human could hold that much piss.

Took the Enneagram Type Test and got some scarily accurate results. I'm a Type 4, aptly titled the Individualist. Key adjectives: sensitive, introspective, expressive, dramatic, self-absorbed, and temperamental.

Enneagram tests telling bloggers they're self-absorbed.
IT TRULY IS THE FUTURE.
I wonder how much money has been spent collectively on these personality tests and all for what? To conclude that someone who talks about herself all the time is self-absorbed?
It probably even outright asked her "do you spend a lot of time thinking about yourself?" and then you answer yes and it says "oh I get it you're conceited" and then WOOOOW SO FUCKING ACCURATE.

Apparently, I'm in good company. Famous Type 4's include Ingmar Bergman, Alanis Morrisette, Paul Simon, Bob Dylan (who, coincidentally, I was stamped as on LJ's musical_legends rating community), Johnny Depp, Anne Rice, J.D.Salinger, Edgar Allen Poe, Annie Lennox, Michael Jackson, and Virginia Woolf.

I can't imagine wanting to be associated with Alanis Morrisette or Anne Rice but whatever.
Or Bob Dylan, I mean goddamn. Robert Zimmerman, have you seen the guy? Can't sing, can't act, known as a singer and actor. Great.
Jesus Christ you have to pay ten bucks to take this test. What a crock.
Here, I have an idea. You pay me ten bucks and I will ask you a bunch of questions about bullshit for ten minutes then using my magical powers I'll be able to tell you what you're like.
You aren't even plugged into a machine. This is pure psychic might from a class Alpha+ psyker.

Time's been good to me. I no longer look as awkward while I'm at it, walking alone down my path. Have I grown used to that idea, The Loner? I don't look as lonesome anymore. I have grown into the 'strong, silent' label that comes with natural introversion. Independent, observant, content to travel this road by myself if there was no one to keep pace beside.

Time has been good to you?
You're 21, what the fuck are you talking about? Of course time has been good to you, it hasn't even done anything yet.
You're supposed to say that shit when you're 90 and have grandchildren and you're looking back. You don't have anything to look back on.

'The Scorpio tends to be self-destructive since they use passion in most everything they do. They end up hurting themselves emotionally or physically, but they regenerate, transform and are reborn.'

... I see.

Oh God why?
Ever notice when a bitch posts about her zodiac the blog is especially insufferable?

I've been thinking of getting myself a Nook or Kindle, once I have enough set aside after next month's pay-check rolls in. It'd save me shelf-space since all classics happen to come free of charge.

Yeah they're not the only books that come free of charge if you're smart.

Though, I'll admit, the feel of a solid block of paper beneath my hands will be something I'd miss. I dunno, maybe I'm just sentimental. About books, imaginary places and characters, of course.

What are you, stupid?

Had a fun time on Tumblr, going through memes and gifs featuring games I liked. Haven't picked up a controller in a while though. I like gaming, I appreciate what certain series have given me through fanfiction and entertainment, but I don't think I'll ever be as into it as I once was.

Further proof all girls care about in terms of gaming is fucking fanfiction and ruining games.

"Oh, so she's completed her degree as well? Wonderful! Time to start looking for someone suitable, I think..."

"You prefer Malay boys, of course? Not that there aren't any Moors up for grabs, just so you know..."

Moors up for grabs?
What, did you stumble into the 18th century?

Thus, my life has turned into a Jane Austen novel. Only with no Fitzwilliam Darcy, Frederick Wentworth, or Colonel Brandon in sight.

Except you're making this shit up and you should probably shut up.

Hopefully, this is how it stays until A) I have a steady job which won't require me to be dependent on a man of all creatures for money, and B) when, miracle of miracles, I am ready.

What other kind of creature would you rely on for money?
Other women?
Animals?
She puts that in italics like how dare someone suggest it but if you have children in all likelihood you're going to be relying on your husband for support.

Now, off to dig up my copy of Pride and Prejudice. I think I'll need to keep some wittily-phrased rejection speeches handy.

All right, it was a friendly suggestion. No need to get pretentious.
Not that you need an excuse but you could at least spare the young, the elderly and the invalid.
You know even a lot of tyrants had the common decency to spare the elderly.

I visit the Tekken fanfiction section and find this...

TEKKEN
FANFICTION
FANFICTION ABOUT A FIGHTING GAME.
These games have literally no plot and no character development. What the actual fuck are you doing?
Here's how character selection in a fighting game goes:
"I have no clue what I'm doing so let's just try all these out for a few minutes--" and then you pick the one you suck least at.
Or in my case with Soul Calibur V you get to the third character on the list, Natsu, and decide THAT'S FAR ENOUGH.
And I now have a 77% win ratio online.
Nobody sees that weeaboo fightan magic coming.
What's her character? What's her motivation?
I don't know. She looks Irish but her name is Natsu and she's some kind of ninja.
I reckon she was somehow adopted at birth by a clan of ninja but who the fuck knows THIS GAME HAS NO PLOT LIKE ALL FIGHTING GAMES.

But as silly and pretentious as that is, that's not what bothered me about the fic. Rather, check out one of the reviews it got:

Well you'd know pretentious.

'i personally still deem a guy that punched me in the face as gd lukin in reality BUT jin is the execption lol!'

What?
Sorry, I don't speak pig.
All I got from this is you maybe want to be punched in the face (which can be arranged) but otherwise I don't understand.

I really hope that that was just a careless comment and not a statement of the reviewer's personal beliefs. If it is indeed the latter, then this world makes me sad.

Well as the wise man Snoop Dogg once said: "bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks."

24. Betaing - how many betas do you like to use to make sure there aren't any major flaws in your fic? Do you have a Beta horror story or dream story?

"Betaing" or "proofreading" to non-idiots.
You do realize there's a very real difference between video games and books, right?

17. Titles - are they the bane of your existence or the easiest part of the fic? Also, if you do chaptered fics, do you give each chapter a title or not?

Who cares about titles?
Don't even bother until you're done then spend like five seconds thinking about the horror you just unleashed on the world because you're a fanfiction writing loooooser and then just succinctly summarize it.
I know you morons don't understand what "succinct" really means so I'll explain: you have three to four words to explain yourself.

I think I hate these more than the summaries. Sometimes I do have a title in mind before I even start writing the fic but mostly, I come up with one derived from some aspect of the plot.

Summaries are even easier.
If you cannot write a summary of your story you might be writing chick lit which has no plot but 50 subplots and therefore becomes very difficult to accurately summarize.

16. Summaries - do you like them or hate them? How do you come up with them, if you use them?

I hate them. Especially concerning my multi-chaps. My plot-lines often grow more complex as they develop and it can be difficult to capture the essence of that in a few lines.

Your plots should never "grow complex" because the plot is a framework for why shit happens.
Plot for A Few Dollars More?
Two bounty hunters want to kill a bandit for different reasons.
Plot to Star Wars?
Guy comes of age and wants to be a great warrior.
Plot to Frankenstein?
Guy makes an eldtrich abomination and wishes he hadn't.
I summarized four movies and a book in three sentences.
Now let's focus on why this doesn't work for chick lit. I'm going to take a beloved classic that I like, even, but this perfectly summarizes where you run into problems with the "I forgot a main plot" thing.
Plot to To Kill a Mockingbird?
Well a girl and her brother are coming of age but the brother is having more angst than the daughter because she's younger and meanwhile they're in the South while their father has to represent a black man in court and there's a lot of racial tension but there's also this retard that lives next door--
Can't exclude any of this because all of this shit is as relevant to the plot as the other stuff you do include. What's the main point of the story?
I guess the literate have concluded it's the court shit but I don't know why they decided that. I guess because Atticus is an adult and the kids are just kids and aren't really in control of what happens to them.
This kind of setup works for To Kill a Mockingbird because it's one of those books with an axe to grind and therefore should focus on the characters in exclusion to all else but really this is not a setup that works favorably in most circumstances.

Writing fanfic has made me see a lot of the faults in Namco's characterization, especially. The main mistake I mentioned above is one they've repeatedly made with their main characters. Rather than giving them some much-needed dimension, they pile on more characters with connections to them and commit the same crime with them.

That's because they're fighting games and they have to add new characters to keep people playing.
These games aren't about stories.
If you idiots focused on what you should do instead of what you want to do your stories probably wouldn't suck so much.
This is also why Namco has the franchise that made millions and you idiots are writing fan stories.
Ohhhh goodness.
This entry has gone on long enough AND WHAT'S THIS? ONE HOUR UNTIL TERA BETA?

Duty Prevails

Get ready for some fucking crap.
Man.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Considering Livejournal is mostly women the collective answer is "yes".
I mean I guess I do. I sure hate a lot of people at first sight so why can't it go the other way?
I mean for adults with a personality the general answer should be no but most people have the personality of wood so why the fuck not?

Yes, but the bigger question is, "Will there be love in return?"

Wait, what?

I just woke up and realized my entire life is an obscenity.

So fucking edgy hell yeah bro.

What is the best and worst quality about mankind?

Objectively humanity's ability to endure is its best quality. Name one other species besides bacteria that has managed to thrive on every continent on Earth.
Humanity's worst quality is its COWARDICE AND WEAKNESS.

Our ability to judge others.

Being judgmental is a good quality to have I think.

The man that rents the upstairs is a Monopoly fanatic. I also happen to be a Monopoly fanatic. As a good will gesture, I sent him a custom Monopoly game piece from Johnny Lightning/Playing Mantis in a giftwrapped jewelry box. Now, I am hoping to put together a very mean Monopoly game night at my residence and invite him over.

Monopoly is a great game to play if you have five hours to kill.

I am sure this is only going to end up starting a fued, but I am trying very hard to win my neighbor over, socially.

If you can feud over Monopoly you can feud over anything. I'm not sure I'd be awake during a Monopoly game, let alone caught with enough awareness to argue.

But the silence since I made this gesture has been quite loud.

Why the hell am I repelling people lately?

Because what kind of idiot sends a gift to a neighbor like that? He's probably hunting down a restraining order.

Jason H. and I went to our local place so that he could get his drink on and so I could people watch and listen to a brand of Karaoke that can only be described of as hurtful. An individual who has been watching me now for MONTHS finally had the courage to come up and try to speak to me.

Monopoly and going to the karaoke place. Is there a way in which your life isn't boring?
Why do you feel the need to keep a blog when this is your lot?
"Dear Livejournal,
Today Groundhog's Day continued" is how every entry should read.

And then he spoke...to Jason. Jason, who is promoting the cage fighting event at Midway Mall handed him a flyer.

Cage fighting. Let's talk about that instead.

The guy, we found out, is named Larry. As he conversed with Jason, Larry kept looking at me out of the corner of his eye, I think, expecting an introduction. Jason never gave it to him.

I stood there and did what gay people are bad to do. I played hard to get. Too hard to get. As in, "What? Jason is talking to somebody?" hard to get.

No okay bye interesting thing--

God, that was mean. What is wrong with me?

Larry, we know from a prior encounter, is also a fighter. He does unpaid matches out here in Emerald Edge where I live. Just because he likes to.

And he looks rough. He looks rough in the way that he needs somebody to take care of him.

So I guess I should clarify if this isn't obvious already: this is a guy writing this.

And poor Larry. Poor, big strong Larry, can't speak to me out of some kind of macho fear.

When we stepped out, Larry called to us telling us both to have a good evening.

I asked Jason why he didn't introduce us and Jason said, "Because he's a straight guy into you and you know you are going to get into trouble if you get involved with him."

Sounds like a great recipe for winding up strangled in a cheap hotel to me.

I have also faced the reality of my age: I have to give up on finding a mate.

Not if you follow my two step action plan.
As someone pointed out my action plan pretty much assumes you're a white man which I'm not going to lie or mince words: it does.
But as a white man I don't consider that a serious complaint. If you want your own action plan you have to figure it out for yourself. I can't think for all of mankind, here.
1. Stop being a pussy
2. Brown girls
Even Jesus Christ asked for more than I do.

I came to the conclusion a long time ago that there are so very few people that can handle the tidal wave that is my personality. I have what can be described as a frustrating, suck-the-air-out-of-the-room sort of presence when I'm fully on.

THE SWARM RISES TO MEET ME.

So, as I age, I will have to find out just what will be keeping me warm at night when I start succumbing to chills and insecurities.

Far away, across the field
tolling on the iron bell
calls the faithful to their knees
to hear the softly spoken magic spell
Have you ever heard that song Time by Pink Floyd, friend? It sounds a lot like you only a lot more hardcore and a lot less whining.

I live for chaos, really I do.

HERESY.

Last week, I decided that I was going to seek out new employment. After gathering my wits, sprucing up my resume, and grabbing my nuts, I applied to three of our competitors. In less than an hour, I got a response.

Oh well la-dee-da.
LOOK AT ME GETTING RESPONSES IN LESS THAN A DAY.
I'm skipping down because I don't have time for all his words.

This new employer wants me to fill in for them one day a week for a few months while I keep my present job. Then, he'd like to hire me in full time.

Six day work week? Big deal, right? In 1999 when my first sales position really started moving for me, I didn't have a day off for SIX MONTHS.

Wait, because here is my dilemma: I have a BLOODY CONTRACT with my present employer that states that I am not permitted to work for any of our competitors, even on my own time.

Don't be a faggot, Christ.
Do it on the sly and tell that other company to suck 53 dicks.
Or, you could tell them this other company is offering you more and they better match the offer immediately or you're leaving. Strong arming isn't too smart unless you're vital to the operations of this company, though.

Some background here: the new company has been growing by leaps and bounds, buying up failing clinics and turning them around. They pay insanely well and have amazing loyalty with their employees. I would be a FOOL for not taking a chance on this.

So there you go. You'd be a FOOL (cool caps, bro) for not doing this. Speaking of, you really need to get a grip on your caps. That shit is getting pretty annoying already.

But all it would take for me to get my Fabulous and Righteous Ass Fired and SUED TO DEATH

All right, stop.

is for the wrong person to walk into my new clinic and recognize me, or somebody at the state level to question my present employers as to why my license is being used in three locations instead of two. Or, and this would be the most likely scenario, I'd have to call over to my present employer on a routine prescription check between clinics and somebody would recognize my voice.

I mean really your contract is just there to bind you, not the company. If the company wanted out they'd just breach it and then tie you up in court until you went broke so I say you don't owe them any loyalty. You were there to do a job and you did it and now it's time to move on. If you can't think of a clever way around this contract issue then you deserve to be shackled by it.

This is just not fair. I know the world isn't very kind, but just once I'd like to catch a break.

You only get the breaks you make.
Man this guy is so fucking boring. I can't believe this guy even bothers to post. Surely he gets bored writing about himself.
Anyway I'm going. I'm probably going to pass out for three weeks because of this boring bullshit.
Anyway goodbye, I'm off to inject a Red Bull straight into my dick. Only way to shake this off, I think.