Better Update

I was thinking about updating today but I decided to play Fallout 3 instead so the update is a little delayed.
So here we are.
Today's blog is entitled community of socially unappreciated otherkin types.
What must one do to be appreciated by society? I'd say having some sort of benefit on society. So, holding a job (or being independently wealthy) and paying taxes pretty much covers your bases. Or you could be in school, or do some sort of humanitarian work.
Then there's these people. Otherkin. What's an Otherkin? An Otherkin is to furries what furries are to normal people. Furries cut dickholes in their mascot costume and fuck each other in any open orifice. I get that. Otherkin, on the other hand, think they're elves and vampires and possibly even ogres and fairies.
Where do I go from here? It's like a group of socially maladjusted 16 year olds all came to the same independent conclusion that they're going to watch Queen of the Damned 15 times in a row while high on meth.
While that's certainly how I enjoy my Saturdays (although I prefer to substitute Queen of the Damned with Fist of the North Star or maybe Road Warrior) I can appreciate the concept.
Like several anorexic blogs (and furry blogs) this is actually several people posting on the same journal so don't expect any continuity.

I just joined this group. I am a vampyre, or at least a vampiric entity.

That'd be an awkward conversation with your parents. "Mom, dad, I'm a vampire"
Then they stare at you blankly for a few seconds, then a moment of silence, then fifteen seconds of awkward laughter followed by silence until you retreat to your fucking vampire lair bedroom to play Marylin Manson (or whatever the fuck I don't know) at three quarters volume while making yet another frivilous post on your Livejournal about how no one understands how special you are and how much you hurt.
Am I right?
Also I like how he says "or at least a vampiric entity" like he doesn't know. Here's a simple test: do you have a reflection? If yes I have some bad news. You're just a nerd who wears too much black.

I have found lately that ideas of myself held since early adolescence may be wrong.

You know, like when they told me I was human. BECAUSE I'M NOT I'M A VAMPIRE.

Oddly, I didn't join this group for insight about myself, but for a person I care to understand better. We have been friends a short time, but we've grown very close. He is demonkin.

Odd Couple: Bat Edition.

I've read that they tend to be rather chaotic and that they also vary greatly, so I guess getting any infomation that would relate back to my friend would be unlikely.

Ha, ha, ha, ha
Then there's an event (complete with real guest speakers!) convering such fascinating topics as:

The Vampire Archetype in Media, Culture, & the Real Vampire Community

Oh, the vampire archetype in media versus REAL vampires. The first part might be vaguely interesting if it was told by someone with actual insight and education.

Attendance is restricted to members of TWILIGHT only.

Oh shit wonder if I can still get tickets? I'm clearly a huge fan.

Hey guys. Any polmorphs out there? I feel so lost. I havent been able to meet any shape shifters like my self.

Yet the only thing I seem to be able to turn into is a fat nerd in his mom's basement.

i guess I just started realizing that there was a scary number of similarities between me and vampires... not the fictional vampires... but the real-life ones...

Yeah, you know, like Dracula and Twilight and other real vampires. Because I've totally met them before. In the mall. They shop at Hot Topic like me.

My name is Lucian. I am part Noble Vampire part Noble Seelie, or part Nobe Seelie and part Noble Un-Seelie.

Again I'm reminded of the furry paradox. If all this was true (it's not but for argument's sake) wouldn't you occassionally find someone who wasn't a vampire? Wouldn't you occassionally find someone claiming to be like a satyr or something stupid?

I know I may be biased, having played with the idea of being Drow before giving it up in favor of possibly being some other kind of dark elf from mythology,

Yeah because mythology (real mythology, not fucking Forgotten Realms shit you fuck) is just brimming with dark elves. Idiot.

They have a retractable, prehensile penis that resembles a very long, green tapered worm and can lift up to 15 pounds.

That's how all the ladies describe me. Prehensile penis that can lift 15 pounds.

To top it off, I fit a lot of demon characteristics...

Oh, like goat hooves and horns and a pitch fork?

I'm a loner
I can be brutally honest at times
I have a very strong sense of pride
I have strong sense of honor, but I'll ignore that for my even stronger sense of freedom.
I'd rather observe something than take part, not out of fear...but out of interest.

WOW THAT CAN ONLY BE A DEMON!

A couple of months ago I had a dream that I suddenly transformed into a dragon, in the medieval era - I asked one of my friends, she said that it might have been a past-life memory.

I remember all those historical records of dragon attacks in the dark ages.

But I also know that I have unnatural pains in my upper back and sometimes in my lower back as if I support wings.

Sounds like anxiety. If your wings hurt that would imply you... Had wings.

I have a theory regarding people who are psychic or have somewhat adept psychic tendencies.

I'm ready for your thesis, doctor.

My theory is that these people use both hemispheres of the brain simultaneously.

Mmm I'm fairly certain all people, contrary to how they might seem, do that. I think there's something in the brain called a Corpus Callosum that facilitates this.
I might be totally wrong, though. I mean I'm not a psychic vampire like you, but I have had biology and psychology so I think that might be the case.

i just wanna say a few things. YOU ARE ALL FREAKS! ok heres an idea: live in the real world. yah see, thats what normal people do. shit if u have to make up "otherkin" just too feel socially accepted then you deserve a severe ass kicking. wow, so funny.

Best post ever.

I identify with many pieces of anime,

Yeah I'll bet.

I'm 12 hundred billion years old, and I know Exactly what I am and where I came from. I'm a mixed race of vampire, werewolf, the blood of a thousand demons, pixie, elf, pheonix,and dark faerie.

That's really old.
That's 12,000,000,000,000,000,000 years old. That's roughly ten thousand times older than the entire universe. I guess that answers the "multiverse or endlessly exploding universe" debate those stupid physicists with their math and science have been trying to solve, huh? Also I guess even 12 hundred billion year olds can't spell phoenix.

Hi... My name is Aruel, and I'm a Youma.

Are ya?

That’s a kind of demon, for those who didn't know.

Yeah, thanks. I guessed.

Even the 'freaks' think I'm freaky.

I wasn't kidding about that "furry to a furry" thing.
Ugh. I don't even know what to say after this.
I guess that's it.
Oh by the way I got a response from that guy/girl. He said he was a mitochondrion and reproduces asexually, so that cleared that right up.
So if you see my favorite cell organelle, be sure to tell him to split some good stem cells for me.

Life is full of stories

I think that might actually be an ad on this blog and not the title. Who gives a shit?
The first post reaffirms generic blog poster #5828 does not fear midterms.

I just took my Korean midterm,

Cool story, bro.

and I think I pwned it up the butt....z0rs.

ಠ_ಠ

But I have my Visual Arts midterm tomorrow, and I haven't even started preparing for that. Crunch timmeeeeee!

Might want to do that I don't know--

I think I was really productive the past weekend, because I did so many things without feeling rushed. I woke up early on Saturday morning and went to CLICS to study with Esther.

Don't know what that is but Esther sounds Amish, or like she's from the 5th century or something.

Anyway, after that, we went to Ralphs and did a lot of shopping--my fridge is now filled with food! It feels really good just knowing that whenever I'm hungry, I can dig into my fridge and grab something to eat instead of starving.

Holy shit, really? Eating food is better than starving to death? Jesus Christ you are the most boring person ever. I can't believe this is actually in a blog. I cannot believe she just retold her entire weekend shopping spree.
Words cannot describe how little I care.

Then after shopping, we played card games and watched Season One of Friends.

That's the mark of a life bereft of content. Watching Friends.

I woke up early again on Sunday and went to try out Hope Presbyterian Church with Esther, which we both ended up liking--or I liked it at least haha.

Oh yeah, you and Esther went to the Church, didja? How'd that go? Oh, you liked it? Fantastic.
Fan-fucking-tastic.
I'm sure I've devoted more paragraphs than any healthy mind should, but it's worth repeating: ALTER YOUR SENTENCE STRUCTURE YOU ILLITERATE FUCKWITS.

My 순장 bought me a new cool looking bible and I think I might start doing QTs and read the bible more often. So yeah, to sum it all up, I totally used my weekend well ^^.

Don't know what that word is. One of the few languages my grammar faggotry does not extend to is Korean.
Fuck Korean.
Next entry is three paragraphs about making Easy Mac. You know, the shit you put in a bowl, add a cup of water and microwave for a minute? Jesus Christ she treats it like it's a real recipe.

In the early morning, it's raining. In the afternoon, it's sunny. And in the evening, it's freaking cold as fck.

I guess I get to fill in the vowel for "fck". I pick "a". Cold as fack.
Seriously you can cuss on the internet. You're in college now I imagine your mom won't wash your mouth out with soap.

Sometimes, it's just super hot in the morning and super cold in the evening.

Oh wow I wonder what causes that? You fucking idiot.
Maybe my aggression towards this bimbo seems unwarranted because I haven't quoted an entire paragraph in whole, so I'll do that now so you can get a picture of what her entire journal is like:

Ahhhh, omg. I remember from my previous posts and how I would always complain about this one teacher I had in highschool because of her scary-ness. I think I've found a new teacher who will replace her for my journal rants. This *new* teacher is seriously one anal homo. He's a smart person and a very dedicated instructor, but I don't think he has to be so anal about how closely we have to follow his absurd rules. Out of the three classes I am taking this first quarter, his class is the worst. It seriously ruins my entire day. For one, his class is at 8:00AM, and it's the furthest class from my dorm. Second, it's the longest class I have in my entire schedule. Third, he's mega anal. I really hate how his class is at 8:00AM in the morning though - I find it extremely hard to wake up that early to get to a class, honestly.

JESUS FUCK ME WE GET IT. HE'S ANAL AND YOUR CLASS IS AT 8. I CAN FOLLOW YOUR SIMPLE LOGIC FROM POINT A TO POINT B WITHOUT REITERATING IT FIVE TIMES.

How do you pronounce the word "coupon"?

Die.
Also this person is a man. I know his entire name and his address because HE POSTS IT ON HIS BLOG.

I mean, I can even take racist remarks from my French class teacher, but the kid kept talking about how Koreans were dumb, as if eating dogs had anything to do with smarts.

Don't really have anything to say here I just thought I'd take some quotes out of context.

I need someone to fangirl with.

So this is a girl? I'm completely fucking lost now.

I'm going to be thinking "what the hell am I supposed to write about" or I might even write the entire essay with simple sentences, wow.

No, not you! You'd never write an entire blog in nothing but simple-fuck-sentences!
I'm back to thinking this is a guy.
I have to know. Even worse, his/her Facebook picture is two people. One boy, one girl.
This has to be the most ambiguous journal ever.
I'm going to take drastic measures never before taken: I'm going to post a comment.
Violating one of my prime directives to never directly alter or affect native life but this is critical.

Dear Sir or Ma'am,
Are you a man or a woman?
Don't take this the wrong way, but I can't tell.
Sincerely,
Curious.

I think that's nice. I didn't want to come off as too threatening or mean because then I'd never get an answer.
Ho, ho, ho posted.
So I think I covered the hard hitting issues of our time in this entry: man, or woman?
I'm just doing my part. In a billion years when we're dead and some advanced alien society is researching our world, they'll find this record and know the score.
You're welcome, alienfriends. You're welcome.

Thanks bud

Today's entry is a typical pussy cunt douchebag FAGGOT.
I used all these words because she specifically listed them as things she hates, and I live to please. How do I know this one is worth typing about? Well, just look at the title. What's the mark of a good title? Well I might suggest humbly that Edie Finds a Corpse is a fantastic title. Something like that will most likely be passed over by me as an unlikely target regardless of its actual content but when I see "I often repeat myself" with a subtitle "and the second time's a lie" well, think of me as a wolf (not in a furfag way don't get excited) and I just picked out the limping, small deer in a pack of huge fucking... Bison.
I don't know this analogy is getting a bit tangential.

I decided a couple months ago that once I told my parents about the whole gay thing, I would have a Coming Out Party!

Any excuse to throw a party, huh?

I told some girls on the rugby team about it, and they were totally supportive and excited.

You're on the rugby team? Your parents already know.

Man, mornings suck balls.

Not that you would know, oh ho.

I am posting twice in one day. That makes me either a badass or a lameass. I pick bad.

Really? That's funny because I picked "lame".

I'm obsessed with "Living Room" by Tegan and Sara lately. Such a good song. If you haven't heard it, you should give it a listen... just once.

Is that a challenge?
I can weather any song.
Wow. Wow.
No, no I can do this brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I MUST ENDURE. That was the longest three minutes of my life, and I listened to Celine Dion cover Shook Me All Night Long.

Dedication is something you can't fake. It is frustrating when new girls join the team and then a month (or a day) later think that they know everything and try to teach other players how to do things... badly. Realize your place.

Ah ha, one of the smartest things I've read on a blog that wasn't mine.

If you have any interest in the LGBT community, I say you should check it out.

I don't. Wishing no offense to any gay people, I couldn't care less.

I've spent the last 15 minutes staring into space and reading other people's journals--mainly people I have never met and have no connection to. It is amazing how easy I am to judge anyone, and not even know a thing about them. From what little I gather about a person, I am able to fabricate their whole being in my mind.

I don't know what you mean.

Last night, ten of the girls from the team went out dancing, which was rediculous.

"Rediculous".
Here's her list of "ten things she could live without".
I find top ten lists the ideal place to judge a person, because nothing shows how shallow they are than their top ten or bottom ten of goddamn near anything.

1. (most) men
2. student loans
3. Cosmopolitan magazine
4. characterization of patriarchy-questioning, unshaven, vegan feminism as a bad thing, or as a necessary "I'm not that kind of feminist" disclaimer
5. men calling each other pussies, douchebags, fags, gay, etc. and not understanding the problem with it
6. bacon
7. those "Marriage is Better" ad campaigns
8. female anti-feminists who buy that male sexism shit
9. women on the prowl for a new man all the time
10. Sarah Palin (see #8)

The most perplexing one, to me, is number 3. What did Cosmopolitan do to you?
Also my intro is explain by number 5. She shouldn't have a problem with me because I understand the problem with it and do it anyway. That's why I tell the jokes, people.

Yesterday, they all participated in a Gonzaga hate-fest, which was fine.

No, you're butthurt. Lay it on me.

But to make fun of our decent basketball team when you school has no sport even close to its level is really ridiculous.

No it isn't. Sports are dumb and I'll make fun of anything I goddamn well please. That's the beauty of living in America-- I think there's a document that guarantees my right to say it. I think it's called... What was it... The Constitution.

Could they even think that everyone within hearing distance might not be a giant Whitworth fan or would that be too much brain power?

Good Christ it's not like they were making fun of your sexual orientation or race or anything actually offensive. Just a goddamn school don't be so pretentious.

Obviously it was just about a silly sport, but they still need to be careful.

But by your own admission it was just a silly sport, so what's the problem?

The things they said were degrading against the university and over-stepped the sports line.

So? I say mean things about basically everything, even my own school.
I like my school, though. It's a fine institution. Still, I make fun of it because it's my nature.

Making fun of a Catholic institute and religion is not cool—not matter what you believe.

No, no matter what you believe, holding anything as sacred is stupid. Why can't I make fun of religion? Why is religion afforded more respect than, say, a political affiliation or any other club or group of people?
Besides, if you, personally, are Catholic and derive some sort of comfort or self worth it shouldn't matter what anyone else says about it, now should it?

Earlier this morning they made fun of men who wear kilts.

Kilts are ridiculous and if you think they're cool you're just as ridiculous. The entire ensemble (with that dumb beanie) is silly and the Irish are silly for still wearing it.
It's 2008, dress accordingly.

Why would you judge people because they wear a skirt?!

Why are you judging me for judging them you stupid bint? Street goes both ways.

What issue is that of yours? Why must you judge every opinion on the planet?

Ever heard the myth of the scorpion and the cow? No?
Well go look it up I'm not here to educate you goddamn.

Only disgusting and uneducated people are so close-minded to make fun of other groups. I really wish I could just tell them where they can stick their goddamn Whitworth College diploma…

Oh you're so educated and so much better than them.

You know what's fucked up?

Ugh. No, what?

That women are so some expected to take their husband's last name, if/when they get married.

... It must be so nice having nothing to worry about.
That wasn't rhetorical, either. I'm saying it is. I know because she worries about irrelevant, stupid shit.
Like me.
Personally I think there should be an official council that decides the hierarchy of last names, and whoever has the lamer last name has to take the better name. Shit, then everyone will eventually end up with the same last name as weaker names are replaced by superior ones. It'd be like Highlander.

And for women to be like "oh, well that's the way it is" is so fucking ridiculous. Enjoy your life of pathetic, man-filled grossness. I'll keep my last name, and my brain entacted.

Good Christ it's just a name. Statistically speaking she'd just be replacing Smith with Brown anyway, so what's the big deal? It's not like there's a law forcing her to do it, or anything.

So many straight people don't even fucking know what it's like to have to make a way for yourself in this world.

Not even sure what that means. Maybe my stupid heterosexual brain can't comprehend her superior homo ways.

Oh! And the library only has, like, two lesbian novels. Fucking stupid and fucking sad. Open up for your fucking eyes, pricks.

Why don't you just read normal books like a normal person? This may sound cold and uncaring (because it is) but maybe you should try fitting in more if you want to, I don't know, fit in. Which seems to be the crux of the issue-- you go on and on about how gay people are discriminated against (which is true I'm not saying it isn't) but then you need your own section at the fucking library? Seems a tad hypocritical, doesn't it?
In all ways that are important you're just as bad as the deeply religious. Not everything has to revolve around your sexuality, for Christ's sake. I've met plenty of gay people and most of them have normal concerns just like any other person, contrary to everything you just described. In fact, save for the fact that they boned their own gender (unlike most other people) they were basically identical in every way to ANYONE ELSE. So get over yourself, would you please?

Middlesex is the story of an intersex coming out, yet so much more. Greek mythology,

Hmm. Shit might be so cash for that last bit.

I've been getting these headaches lately. They're getting worse and more intense. I don't like it.

I know what you mean. I seem to get them every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Think it means something?

I feel like my chest is about to explode, like everything in my heart isn't real and I can't breathe.

I can't breathe.
I can't focus.

My brain is somewhere else, having its own eyes and focusing on something else.

Holy shit, did a man named Kenshiro just punch you? If so, you're already dead.
Well that's it everyone go home.

Idort

I had two choices today. One for shitty poetry and the other for spelling coughing with a P. In the end, shitty poetry always wins.
You're lucky, girl who spells coughing with a p.
So here we are today.
Poetry, like all fiction, is usually dialectic in nature. That is, it's from someone to someone. Good fiction (anything not poetry) is usually from the author to the audience. Simple and direct. Poetry, on the other hand, can be from anyone to goddamn near anyone. Usually, the vast majority of the people reading it are not the intended audience.
So here we have the first stanza:

These words I write are damaging,
The hurt I can't reveal,
I can't let anybody in,
So this raging agony I conceal.

Why?

I could say that I've been broken,
But it's beyond what I can comprehend,
I've been trying for so long,
But this heart is too shattered to mend.

How so?

I'm tired of feeling hurt,
And I can't stand the pain,
Every morning that I wake up,
Is just another breath I take in vein.

Presumably she means "vain" and not the part of the nervous system.
And it goes on and on like this, and while this is a bad example of poetry it does basically summarize all poetry (except epic poetry).
So I'm going to do something unprecedented (for me) and skip all poetry because fuck it it's all the same.

I am so sick of fake people. Sick of people acting and saying one thing and then do the complete opposite.

Couldn't that be people being honest and genuine, though? They meant to do one thing but then it came down to it and they decided to do the other? Wouldn't that be staying true to their actual nature, instead of conforming to how you see them?

im tired of people telling me what i do is wrong when they have no idea the shit i have been through.

What shit have you been through, Hot Topic shopper?

All i want is for someone to show me that they are different.

I'd wager I'm different from anyone you've ever met by virtue that I'd say all of this to your face, but I bet you couldn't handle that.

but soon i will find my release, my sweet release to see the blood flowing from my veins.

A CUTTER HOLY SHIT.
I really need to make that checklist.

if they all think that its ok to just walk away why cant i just make one final cut and leave them all behind to find my freedom at last.

Whoa there, crazy font. Also you're not going to kill yourself. Don't be so dramatic. You're far, far too whiny and too much of a show off to do anything that takes a set.

What do you do when the tears finally stop falling. And everything you feel is numb.

Listening to Pink Floyd now.

Where do you find the strength that you need.

Ha, ha what? Is that a question? I can't tell because there's no question mark. Assuming it is, I'm not sure. Stop asking stupid questions and you'll stop seeking stupid answers.

My life is slowly falling into darkness how do i escape?

Cool font, brah. Noticing a repetition of themes, by the way?
Also what's so tough in her life that warrants all this? Her job is tough.
Dead. Fucking. Serious.

My job is pissing me off by making me work at there other store when i dont want to and if i dont keep my hours at 60 my pay check gets cut.

Holy shit going blind goddamn.

I wonder if the life im living has a purpose.

Nope. Most people just make it up as they go along.

I try and tell him why im upset with him and he just turns it all around on me and it turns out that im the one in the wrong.

I'm not sure what Patrick is like but I'm guessing it is mostly your fault. Look at you.

And if he can handle me having to be in the hospital for a time.

Ha, ha Looney Tunes is going to the mental home.

there isnt a single person who knows everything about me. i have to many horrifing secrets.

Ah, ha, ha, ha what the fuck is that? What kind of "horrifing" secrets do you have?
PATRICK I'M-- I'M-- HITLER!
What a tweeeeeeeeeest.

No one understands it. and if i reveal that my wings have fallen once again i will lose everyone i love.

Holy shit that's her horrifying secret. She has wings. Call the inquisition and the space marines there's a mutant afoot. There may be more, better have some Grey Knight Purgation squads in reserve.
PURGE THEM WITH SWORD AND FIRE!

everyone thinks it is easy being me. but its not.

Aww poor baby. So hard living a privileged, middle class existence, isn't it?
As for me, it's easy being me. Being me kicks ass.

who is there that i can confide in. i want to hide away. away from everyones expectations. everyones needs.

Confide in me. Nothing escapes my sight.

i feel like two different people. one that i let everyone see. and then the one that hides away in the darkness. she doesnt eat, she cuts herself, she does bad drugs on occation.

Both have atrocious spelling and grammar, though. Also I know about both of you because, after all, both are all over the internet for any stranger to read.
Your "hiding in darkness" self isn't exactly Superman to Clark Kent, is it? A Superman that everyone knows about, maybe.

when i finally fall to my grave who will be there at my grave and who will be to busy to waste thier day.

Whoa-ho, easy, there, Grammaticus.

Is there anyone that is truely true or is everyone just so fake?

"Truely" true, as opposed to falsely true, or only sometimes true?

In other news my mom is getting married March 29th An she had the nerve to ask me to be in her wedding!! It blew my mind!! How can she expect me to be in it when i dont approve of it.

I guess your mom expected her daughter to be less of a spoiled brat and be there for her mother instead of thinking (as usual) only about herself?
Or, no, I know what she's thinking. She's thinking: "I have raised such a cunt of a daughter." That's what she's thinking.
No I'm just joking. Your mom sounds like a cunt too. I'm sure that is where you got this from, in fact.
That's it. That is her entire blog.
Welp I would say I had fun with that, but--
I didn't. That was a shitty blog and she should feel bad for it.
So shitty, in fact, that I'm left with nothing else to say.
So in other news, here's a blog that doesn't suck.

Fandom.

Being a fan of something is fun, isn't it? Like me personally, I fucking love Warhammer and Shin Megami Tensei. I, however, cannot stand other fans of these things. This is where "fandom" comes in-- basically peoples' excuses to be fucking idiots about something.
Here's someone who likes the fandom behind shit. That's basically guaranteed good reading, in my mind.
What does a fandom produce? Noise. Lots and lots of noise. Specifically in the "fanfic" department.
Ever read a fanfic? No? Well allow me to enlighten you. Imagine you have a wrench. Wrap that wrench around the thick part of your middle finger. Now turn your middle finger towards yourself so that you are flipping yourself the bird. Now squeeze that wrench as hard as possible.
That's fanfic.
Contrary to what many fanfic readers and writers will insist, there has never been a good fanfic. Not one.
In fact I have trouble imagining a bizarre, parallel Earth where there is a good fanfic.

So, just a few days ago I was lamenting how there's little good fic out there for Twilight fandom?

Twilight is shit tier fiction. Before, had you asked me as an avowed litfag what the shit tier fiction was I probably would have responded "Harry Potter... Or The Wheel of Time, I guess." Now if you asked me I'd say without a doubt "Twilight." Twilight is to writing what taking a dump is to living.

NaNo is around the corner and I, once again, am biting at the bit. I want to write. I'm dying to write, but ... I want to write some of everything instead of everything of one thing.

NaNo is the national write a book month or some shit like that. Basically it encourages people to write.
Fanastic in theory. But since you have to write an entire novel (100,000+ words) in a month it doesn't encourage quality. At all. It encourages Stephen King-speed writing, which is not conductive to quality. How long did Paradise Lost take to write? A decade or something?

I still plan on doing the same plot as I'd had before, but it's become a longer fic than had originally been intended. I'm on Chapter 5 and no confessions of love as of yet, and I'm already at 14k+ words.

That's 14,000 words. That's about ten pages. I cannot imagine subjecting myself to that torture.

Last.fm is teh bomb. Seriously. I love it. Found about 4 songs I want to own for my iPod. It's not as great as Pandora was for matching songs to interest, but it's not horrible either.

Last.fm was a fad with my friends for about 10 seconds. Everyone I know got into it, then we promptly realized what mutants we were when it came to music. No one mentions it anymore.

So, I've signed up for a few Twilight communities, checked out some websites, mostly Twilighted, and notied more often than not, that the fics are coming up short for me.

Clicking on this.
Wow this is terrible. The number one most reviewed piece on this website is "Bella and Edward's Sex Anthology" so I think that should tell everyone who had a doubt about this what people are looking for in fanfiction.

where they ignore basic facts of canon that don't conform to how they want their story written ... like the fact that Twilight vampires don't sleep, or are ice cold to the touch, or hard as granite.

I just read a drabble where the vampire is warm and sleeping. No warning for AU or that the author had decided to ignore canon in that respect, just bam! - a total misrepresentation of the vampires you claim to love.

At this point I'd say "make up your own story instead of leeching off someone else" but that would imply a creativity fanfiction authors don't have, so fuck it.
In my hierarchy of authorship fanfiction authors rank beneath Stephen King, and that's saying something.

What type of Angel(us) centric fic would you like to see written?

I have to assume this is that TV show and not angels as in... Angels. If it is the latter then write about Satan. He was the best angel. The most human angel. If he doesn't count because whatever, then Metatron.

Oh, and don't hate me for this,

I wouldn't say I hate you. That's too strong of an emotion to feel for a trifle like you. Loathe might be a suitable word.

Now I have to find a beta for it because I know my grammar is totally fubar'd in it. It's weird sort of second person present tense I think ... not sure if that's even correct.

Second person present tense? That means "you are". This has to be the shittiest thing ever written. I must find it.

So, I just danced like crazy with my puppy to Paralizer by Finger Eleven.

You're a bint.

But, speaking of writing ... can someone jump start my muse? I've been writing no more than a sentence or two a day on Vacation and I refuse to just let it be and go on to something else because then it'll never get finished.

Again with this shit. How many times to I have to explain to you morons? It's not your muse. What, everyone has to get their own muse, now?
If I had to guess which one you'd invoke (or whatever it is you think you'd have to do) I'd say try and get the attention of Melpomene, the muse of tragedy, since anything you write would undoubtedly be tragically awful.

So, it turns out my muse isn't horribly mad at me. I've been working (albeit slowly due to work constraints) on Vacation. I am just starting on chapter 3 of the re-write.

They should be fucking furious. Thankfully (for you) they only exist idealistically and not actually in reality.

Eventually I'll see about getting a beta, but not yet. I want to get a bit more written.

I think most --real-- writers would call this a rough draft and not a beta, because indeed a beta usually refers to a video game or computer program, but fine whatever I'll roll with it.

So, yesterday I was all geared up to go over my fics today at work. I opened Vacation, thinking, "oh this'll be fairly quick, it's nearly done

Maybe you should, I don't know, work?

There are things that cannot ever be taken back, words spoken in anger or fear, things thrown and broken that cannot be repleaced, and innocence gone forever like the last light of a dying star.

When a star dies it explodes and fuses all elements after iron. Did you know that? By that fact alone this planet cannot be the child of a first generation star because of all the other elements.

... just less. I abhor that I was neive.

Neive. That's in Italy, I think. Nice resort town.

I hate that I was more a prisoner of my own making than a hostage of someone else's.

Not even sure what that means.

Which leaves me stuck in this vicious cycle of irritatedness that keeps me from getting a good nights sleep, keeps me from being fun anywhere I go, and generally keeps me from being a NORMAL, well adjusted human being.

Checking my dictionary. Nope. "Irritatedness" isn't a word.

Then, he gets arrested for domestic violence, get's bonded WITHOUT any jail time, just a little probation and some counceling. WTF is that shit????

Get's. Get's. Get's. Also I don't know stop asking me questions.

So ... how's things? Gabrielle? Em? Femail? Andy? Shannon? Beth? Angelskuupio? The entire world of people who care about me more than I deserve?

Well this obviously wasn't directed at me because, when it comes to you, I don't give three fucks about four fucks. But if I had to answer, I'd say that was pretty fucking terrible. I give that no stars, in fact. See me after class.
This mighty yawn-fest of cliches evoked 53 responses. That's more than all of my entries put together, which goes to show how much noise these people make.
If I had to define this blog in a single term I'd say "unwarranted self importance". Everything about this has "look at this gr8 fanfic I wrote!" all up inside it, but all of it is shit. Based on her "heart felt" entries she has trouble expressing even the most rudimentary human emotions without resorting to cliches, her grasp of grammar is tenuous at best and she shows little hope for improvement because anything less than ego stroking sycophancy isn't tolerated (like all fanfic writers).
So in conclusion I'd rather be reading Stephen King than reading this.

Fack

I've decided on a special SUNDAY UPDATE because I'm bored and it's still five and a half hours until Dexter's on.
The first one I click on threw me right back into Friday, though:

Anyways, we got there and I clambered around doing whatever, briefly spoke to the band's manager, and then went out into the audience to mingle. AND KYO WAS THERE. YES, DIR EN GREY'S KYO. So I walked over to him and started talking to him and telling him how much I loved his lyrics and his music and everything and he was just smiling at me so I gave him this big hug and he hugged back...

Here's me after reading this:
Now you see why I don't do my own art. Also yes I do all of this on an Apple 2 leave me alone.
What is it with these blogs? I didn't know anorexics kept blogs about how much they're not eating, then I run into 50 of them, then it's the Christfags, now it's goddamn Dir En Gray.

What else? It seems to me I can't get any inspiration to write my movie script but... I really need to lol. I'm so behind, lovely.

If it's anything like your blog I'm sure it's an abortion.

Guys, tell me to stop spending money. I just bought an LM.C phone charm, and am about to buy a Kiyoharu poster as soon as I get my check for working the election.

Consume more. It's your duty as an American or something.

12. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
Back to Japan!! Or back to Jamaica. Actually Australia would be really cool. Or Pennsylvania to see Piotr.

Japan, Jamaica, Australia and Pennsylvania. One of these things is not like the others.

Monday and yesterday, I stayed home from school because I couldn't walk on my ankle even with the tensor bandage.

Maybe Canada is several centuries behind the rest of the world, but as I understand it there's an invention called crutches you might want to check into.

So basically I'm really sick of being called into work. I would really enjoy a set schedule rather than Lori calling me during third period and leaving a message telling me to come in so that I don't argue or whatever. In theory I could call and be like "No." but then she would get mad.

Also, you'd be fired.

So I have been wondering for ages how people make the (^v^)V face. I was like "Dude, is there an opposite to the ^ thing or what?"

... The letter V you illiterate fuck.

And then I realized it was a V.

If this happened to me no one would know about it. I would take this to my grave.

So I'm hoping my copy of Glass Skin came today.

It's like I'm really making Friday's update!

I feel soooo ronery.

Somehow I doubt you appreciate the full meaning of this sentence but whatever all right I'll roll with it.

Glass Skin: Beautiful. Amazing. I can't even come up with any words to describe it, I almost cried when I first heard it.

All right I have to hear this now goddamn.
That's arguably the most boring song I have ever heard. That was bad and you should feel bad.

Am I just really stupid or what's the deal?

Yes.

Hooked up with a friend Saturday night. A guy friend.

I know where this is going.
To make a long story with several, several digressions short:

On the other hand he was horny and used the fact that I was drunk and have a thing for him to get off. He pressured me and I didn't say no because I probably wanted it just as much as he did. Possibly more. But this could all be attributed to the whole drunk/liking him thing.

Then she offers this golden nugget:

He asked me not to get awkward about it... He established before anything happened that it would be a one time thing and then we would just be friends exactly the same as before.

How is that supposed to work? I don't understand how he can expect me to do something like that.

Followed by this one:

By the way, just so you know, I am still a virgin. Lol.

All right I give up. Is this one of those Zen riddles?

Lol I just went to the bathroom, awesome.

Is this really necessary?

Yeah, the chick who sits behind me in this class baaasically hates me. Oh well hahah, she's really pretty so I suppose I can't blame her.

This is the best logic ever. The noble's disdain-- doesn't want to sully her superior vision with the sight of the peasantry.

I'm really confused about how I feel about people.

Must be hard.
Now she's talking about getting a tattoo in Japanese because hurr.

The first one I am planning is a Dir en grey lyric (Hurrr) with a meaning that I really like [:

No, no I did the "hurr" thing to you. You're not allowed to do it to yourself because you're too douchey to be allowed to use that power. It's reserved for high level internet space marines like myself.

She told me once that she'd rather just stay home and not talk to anyone rather than being around people that she didn't like.

I think that's a hint.

And the fact that I'm really good at english hahaha

Ha, ha, ha no you aren't. If you were you'd know "English" is a proper noun and "anyways" isn't a word.

Mmm, I broke my vow of being uber cheerful all the time lol ;p

Don't take vows you can't keep, scum.

High school is stupid. No one is allowed to be happy in high school unless they are pretty.

Contrary to your "me me me" attitude everyone, except perhaps the football team and the drug dealers, is miserable in high school.

Trying This Again

Tried to update earlier but it was near impossible because all of the updates were so bad, and not in a good way. I had one finished for today but after rereading it, it wasn't particularly interesting. It felt like an injustice to however few readers I have.
So this is Scarlet-chan.
Presumably she's giving herself an honorific and she isn't actually Chinese.

The job situation has not been fixed.

Great. Font even smaller than mine. Also that about summarizes the entire unstructured ramble that is her(?) opening post.

Glass Skin, in my opinion, isn't quite getting the recognition it deserves. I noticed a lot of people actually disappointed with it. Really, you can't fully appreciate the song unless you hear it ripped from the actual single and on headphones. There's a lot of layering you can't hear all that well through speakers.

Dir En Gray is shit tier music and no amount of rationalizing it will change that. When I hear, say, George Harrison, I know that song is quality even if it's through a shitty Cellphone speaker.

And you know what? I think he sounds distinctly JAPANESE.

I guess being a Japanese person in Japan who sings in Japanese to a primarily Japanese audience would have that effect.

(so, all those 'fans' who say Dir en grey sound 'American' can shove it.)

Since I tend to leave the room the second I hear the term "Dir En Gray fan" I haven't actually had first hand experience here, but I think my response to something like that would be "as American as a Japanese citizen who sings in Japanese can sound."

Kyo was also on key the whole song,

Well I should hope so. Is that on the album? SINGS IN KEY THE ENTIRE TIME! If so I think I can see why it isn't a best seller.

Hello, hello. How has everyone been?

Fine until I started reading this. How are you?

I've been okay. I think I've figured out why I've been nausious, vomiting, having ear pain, dizzyness, and unbelieveable sinus pressure for most of the summer. What? A slowly building sinus infection. Not much I can really do but hope that it goes away on its own, since I can't really afford a co-payment AND antibiotics. Here's hoping. lol

I hear whipping yourself helps. I read it in this "Philosophie of Physical Medicine" I think it was written this millennium.

I think I mentioned in a previous entry that I bought some books. I managed to get my hands on a book for hiragana and katakana practice.

Should be minutes and minutes of devotion from you before you give up due to what will undoubtedly be THERE ARE TOO MANY OF THESE THINGS THAT LOOK THE SAME THIS ISN'T LIKE ANIME AT ALL. Welcome to reality. Learning a language is hard.

I want to lay a solid ground for the basics of Japanese writing before I even think of tackling something like KANJI (the simple mention of the word sends nervous tremmers down my spine since I feel like there's NO POSSIBLE WAY I can memorize thousands or even hundreds of characters).

Yeah learning all those characters is goddamn near impossible. Just ask China with its 99% literacy rate.

So far, on hiragana, I have the symbols for 'a' 'i' 'ka' 'ku' 'shi' ru' and 'no' memorized, but I already knew most of those from looking at Japanese subtitles during anime openings and endings.

Like English, there's a set order you're supposed to le-- ah fuck it.

On to writing, I've gone back to poetry to dabble a bit.

Uh oh.

You can see and example in my previous entry (friends list only, since I have that friends locked, sorry).

Oh, no problem. No problem at all.

Another thing, she said that a lot of Japanese can't drive at ALL. I was skeptical, but after reading death tolls of PEDESTRIANS I'm starting to think she might be partially right.

It's not a stereotype for no reason.

Oh, and I'm thinking of making video blogs on youtube, but I don't know how cliche that'll be.

Very.

Oh, and I haven't had the chance to rant and rave about Dark Knight on LJ yet.

Yeah you would, wouldn't you? You and everyone other bint on the internet.

I think I was making a sundae, or trying to. Then I suddenly started to see white spots and my whole body began to feel very hot. I brought my hand to my temple and the next thing I knew my knees had buckled and I collapsed.

Cool infection you have there.

Once I was home I was told to drink water, take a cold shower, and go to bed. I did so, but not before spilling the contents of my stomach in the toilet.

¡Fantastico! Sorry I just remembered I know how to make an inverted exclamation point.

After enough discussion we came to the conclusion that I did not have enough salt.

Oh?

Without enough salt, or sodium,, I was not able to retain water in my body, which led to becoming over heated.

Yeah I know what salt is. Also sodium isn't really that spectacular for retaining water, which is why you can't drink salt water and be fine. Potassium salts with regular salt as well as some other shit including simple sugars is superior.
Now there's a long repost about something. I guess it's supposed to be about how people are close minded assholes, but this is hardly shocking.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

This one made me laugh for some reason. I'm trying to imagine how this conversation came about.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

Well you're halfway there, then.

It was stated in the Bible as being a sin and deserving death, but ALL sins deserve death. That's why God sent his son to die for us in the first place, so WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO.

It's hard to imagine someone with this much sense still believing in the Bible.

The family was even featured in pictures, holding signs that bore the words "God is your enemy".

And you should fear the vengeance of the gods, Idalie who hates a stony heart, the wrath, the unforgotten wrath of Rhamnusis.
That's from Ovid. Metamorphosis, I think. Probably one of the greatest literary achievements ever.

Phew! I've spent the last few hours changing my Live Journal layout.

Seventeen shades of blinding pink and purple was worth the effort.
The first was was 'Click.' You know, that awesome Adam Sandler movie.
Awesome Adam Sandler movie.
Awesome Adam Sandler movie.
THOSE WORDS DON'T BELONG TOGETHER IN A SENTENCE.

The second movie we watched was The Fast and the Furious Tokyo Drift.

A movie so bad even I'm at a loss for words.

I've heard a lot of terrible reviews for this movie, but I didn'r find it to be that bad.

fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

He also likes to prove his point be PURPOSELY littering. He uses the excuse "God made this planet. Why would he make one that was possible for us to destroy?"

Wow does he attend my biology class?

Yes, the title says it all, doesn't it? I just can't seem to get over the embarrassment of drawing a male character in the nude. Female characters don't give me trouble because I think "What does she have that I don't?"

I could say something mean here like "a figure" or "beauty" but I won't.

But when it comes to males, I blush, freak out, and cut off at the waist. I really don't think I should have this problem when I'm almost eighteen. That's almost an adult if I'm not mistaken. And I need to get over this if I plan on going to an art school, even if it's only for animamation.

Give up now. No way you can catch up with this juvenile attitude.
Also she is a DevianTARTlet, and yes I found her account, but unfortunately she deleted everything.
Perhaps someone not unlike me said something?

Some brat this morning spat a lugi in my hair in my first period Music Theory class this morning.

If someone did that to me I'd unleash the motherfucking fury. It'd be like Fist of the North Star.

Anyway, I relized that there was something in my hair when I was trying to brush in out of my face because it was blocking my view of my assignment. When I did, I felt something wet and sticky.

GROOOOOOOOOOOOOSS.

I had the chance to buy a couple of anime DVD's, Gundam SEED and G Gundam.

One of these is shit and the other one is incredibly awesome.
Now there's a long post about how she's emo and wants to kill herself but it's so boring I can't be bothered.

(I haven't seen the news, so I don't know what the real story is.)

Ha, ha checking the news for the real story.
Well that's it. Everyone go home.

Get Money, Fuck Bitches, Burn Heretics

That's not the name of today's blog, of course, because if it was I don't think I'd be posting about it, because that blog would probably be owned by me.
I thought I had a good one picked out but except for the rather douchey opening post it rapidly changes into Half-Life: Full Life Consequences references and typing in caps so I have no feud with him.
An entry entitled "update on the religious thing" glad people are creating such informative titles so I know when to skip.
All right I found it. A winner.

School is becoming EVEN MORE of a problem to cope with.

Isn't that the point of school? At least, that's how I take it. It's a challenge to be surmounted.

I can't make it through school a whole day without crying; often I disappear into the toilets at break to do just that because my friends get frustrated because I won't tell them why I'm crying.

Ha, ha, ha pussy.

I have to pretend to be happy every damn day so as not to upset the group; and I just can't do it for much longer.

So you won't tell them but then act like you have to be happy so as to not upset them? Either they're the most inept friends ever and don't realize crying is usually a sign of sadness or you're the biggest cunt on earth and need a nice salt water douche.

I can't write properly anymore, there's no real feeling in my acting and music long ago stopped helping.

"Anymore" implies you could at one time, which is clearly not true. I should say this should be a happy time for you: it is the end of your delusions. You can now move on and become strong.

I know I wasn't planned...my parents told me to my face. My Mum had me so that she didn't have to go to College,

Well it's nice to have goals. Usually people abort babies so they can stay in college, not have them to stay out of college, but whatever.

I keep thinking about the pills in the cupboard but I'm scared.

Oh don't be scared. I won't judge you. Death awaits all, so you are blessed in knowing your death as well as the hour.

Nobody cares, so why should I?

Bulletproof logic.

Why am I such a terrible person?

I don't know... Posts like this, maybe?

I'm so cold. Please do something.

Turn the thermostat up?

because I'd written about how the Romantic Hero/Gothic Villain was usually my favourite character

Romantic fiction is very, very different from Gothic fiction. That shouldn't have a slash.

but that when it came to Victor Frankenstein I just didn't feel the same.

Who is the quintessential Romant--

She seemed most happy when I explained about loving Snape, Darcy, Heathecliffe...etc...

Oh you.
Here's what makes an emofag, I found it:

How do you vent anger?
I don't. I can't. I've got WAY too many things to be angry about that venting it would take up too much time.

Whereas a normal person would say some... Thing. It could be anything, really.

Are you happy with your life?
Your kidding, right?

ಠ_ಠ

My burnt finger hurts like hell. Tis blistered and bleeding.

'Tis has an apostrophe before it because it's a contraction of, what was that, OH YEAH. IT'S. THE YEAR IS 2008. THE LANGUAGE HAS CHANGED. GET A GRAMMAR BOOK MADE IN THIS CENTURY.

Whilst perusing my music; I found one awesome song that I've always loved.

Whilst perusing my music; superfluous semicolon (running gag).

It's called 'To Sir With Love' and it's by Lulu (I think). Rather good song there, if I do say so myself.

I mean I've never heard this before but I think it's safe to say if YOU LIKE IT'S SHIT. I'm listening to Billy Idol right now so I'm allowed to say things like this.

I got very miserable today about being alone; I just suddenly started thinking about what it would be like if Jonathan Rhys Meyers (Might just call him JRM in future to save hassle) went to my school and was my rugby-playing-poetry-writing-knight-in-s

hining-armour boyfriend.

Who? Also knight in shining armor? Seriously? Seriously?

It just gets so depressing thinking about it; I recall that when I first saw Captain Jack Sparrow all those years ago I fell for him instantly.

Well that's a problem because he's a fictional entity. The actor playing him is not actually a pirate.

That's probably why I love books so much; you can get so involved with whatever is going on inside -- and you can take it anywhere with you.

With all that reading you do I really wish you'd learn how to work a semicolon. It's not hard, honestly.
If you were stranded on an island with a fictional character, who would it be and why?
I said Hermes so I could, uhh, leave the island, but she actually played the game seriously.

Captain Jack!

Although.....he'd know how to get off of the island...so what's the point?

Yeah, now you're thinking.

Originally my vote was "Athena" because I figured it'd seem a little more hetero to be on an island with a grrl but she seems kind of like a bint. Logic would dictate have fewer distractions, so as to expedite escaping.

Fortunately I have the ability to pretend that I'm okay; which I suppose is part of my acting 'talent'.

Yes. 'talent'. Let's call it that.

I'm very angry right now; as my Sims 2 has been playing up for ages and now freezes whenever I attempt to play it.

Reinstall? It's not a life-altering event like you make it out to be. Back up your saves and reinstall. Problem (most likely) solved.

I've taken Prozac three times over the past five years.

I've also had Citalopram, Paroxetine and Sertraline.

Fucking rad.

None of these so called 'Anti-Depressants' have worked.

No. You're joking. Also just to prove I'm smarter than you (because I'm a petty dick) Citalopram is Lexapro, Paroxetine is Paxil I think, and Sertraline is Zoloft. Might want to look into, hmmm... Lithium, perhaps? My usual diagnosis is "Diazepam" but as someone pointed out that's not actually an antidepressant.
My response to that is typically: yeah but you'll be feeling so relaxed you won't care that you're depressed.
QED.

I've found myself in a rather melancholy mood all day today; to be honest it shocked me. I don't know why -- solemnity is commonplace for me.

I don't know how she'd define solemn, but to me depression and solemnity aren't the same thing. In fact, I wouldn't even consider them synonyms. Plenty of solemn occassions aren't depressing. One could even define a wedding as solemn, but it isn't depressing (usually, shotgun weddings are a bit of a downer I guess).

It's just my damned medication. It's blocking out all of my creative juices; I'm struggling a great deal with all of my fanfictions and the like.

Thank you antidepressants.

I begin to wonder whether they'll ever find an anti-depressant that will work.

Lithium can give you hallucinations, iirc. What makes someone more creative than that?
Next entry is entitled "FUCK. OFF."
So I think I will.
Good day, all.

Dark Undead Abyss of my mind

Why "my mind" isn't capitalized I don't know. I guess it's none of my business.
If you've been following this journey at all, I think you know what's about to happen.
If this is your first entry, then allow me to clue you in.
You'll click on it. It'll be black font with some "lol ironic" avatar, usually white text on a black background. Then you will look at the words in the blog. At this point your brain will tell you it's crap and you'll have to labor to keep your eyes from rolling right out of your head.
Here we are~

Do i ever post good things?..yes...

I guess we should define "good" here. Positive, maybe. Good (as in quality)? Never.

Did alot of laundry *grr* hate laundry

Got that done

Took out the trash

took a break and leveled Sheryna (World of warcraft chary) to level ten...

Wow, level 10? That ranks up there with not zipping your dick into your jeans after taking a piss.
Actually I doubt he could have posted a level or achievement in World of Warcraft that would impress me. Play a real game.

Tried to apply to mcdonalds for extra job and money and almost done through the application...the computer desides its done with its virus scan and restarts without asking me for permissions...

Let me guess, you have a Vista box and let it run amok and control your life? You know most of that shit turns off.

so i say fuck that for a while...

Go to take out more trash and start dinner

I don't know how you do laundry (for all I know you take it down to the crick and get your wash board out) but you seem to be missing a few hours of your day. I know if you're absolutely shit at WoW it takes maybe two hours to level to 10.

big spider walks into the house while im out there aparrently because he was just sitting there like "hellllooooooo there"...when i walked in..

atempted to shoe it to death, broom it out the door *nicely*, then gave up and desided a bad chemical death would be nice....some pagan wiccan I am...

What the fuck is a Pagan Wiccan? What is that? I've heard these words spoken before, but I never endeavored to speak to anyone claiming to be one because I was sure what would follow would be a litany on par with when Christians try to convert people.
I know "Pagan" is the generic term Christians apply to anyone not Christian/Jewish/Muslim so that's not really helpful. You could worship Odin for all I know.
Consulting Wikipedia now.

Wiccans typically worship a Horned God and a Triple Goddess.

So, what, Hecate and Pan?
Ugh this is too stupid to even warrant thinking about.

Work has cut down hours to like 2-4 dyqas aweek...for everyone...wtf
gas is near 299 a gallon...^_^ SQUEE

What.

Samhain is comming YAY....

Non-douches know this holiday as Halloween or All-Saints Day.

Wife is angsty about the whole thing, how do you tel someone you love that what happens happens...however hard it is to say that and believe it...

W-- this is a guy writing this? I'm surprised. Usually guys don't claim to be Wiccans. That's a stupid girl thing. I think guys claim Odinism as their thing so they have an excuse for the homo shit they do in the gym showers.

Today is Solans birthday, YAY...hes 3...yay...

You named your kid Solan?

but then the world better watch out because im already makeing my long horror movie line up for the whoooollllle month of October...and if anyone wishes to know waht I will be for halloween im going to be a fairy

... Is this a girl writing this I can't tell now. Also "making" doesn't have an e. I know third grade grammar is tough but come on.

so a week or so ago heather dabbled in the male species so to say...
and...now she feels all things written below

... F--

dizzy
"sick"
bloated
headachey
crampy
and...really really tired

...which all sound remotely like the earlier symptoms of something

...
...
this should be interesting...

AH SHIT. You shouldn't be allowed to have children. Mandatory abortions.

Why is it people are close minded, its so much easier to be open minded, think of all the time and effort that it takes to dislike things...when you could not care and like them anyways because they are people and not a religion or a sex...

Because that means I filter out SHIT LIKE THIS.

Why is it every human being is selfish, in one way or another everyone is out for good ole number one...

Is this a rhetorical question? I can't tell because there's NO QUESTION MARK.

Why is the christian god so fucking pushing, if he wanted people to follow him, he should stop makeing
his existing people " shove it down your throat" seriously if this God guy wants me to follow him he needs to stop being sexist, ignorant, and closed minded...

There is no God. Not one. The people who follow this deity may be backwards, ignorant fucks but the actual creature doesn't exist. It's like being mad at the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus.
... Who don't exist either, in case you didn't know.

How come men dont know what NO means...its a very simple, word, prehaps it is too complicated for their heterosexual pea sized brains...

According to the paradigm (s)he's set up here gay men cannot exist.
Also I bet I understand more than you ever will, so don't partonize me you stupid cunt.

Why are people stupid?

Ask yourself why you're stupid and you may come to an understanding.
Here's what a hypocritical douche this person is:

Why don't people take into consideration peoples feelings before they say things...it would avoid alot of hurt...

Fair enough, I guess.
Oh but wait. Not ten items down:

If we all just die in the long run, why do we spend our whole lives trying to perfect life...

CAN'T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS. I fully realize that just because two things are contradictory does not mean that both cannot happen (morals are often confusing that way) because this isn't science, but somehow I doubt this person has the mental faculties or the a knowledge of philosophy wide enough to pull a stunt like this.

ok i'm done LOL...anyone who can remotely answer these go for it...

LOL SO DEEP. Die.
Also if you're really looking for an easy answer you can understand, allow me to answer a question with a question: why not?

I wonder at times why RPG causes more drama then real life lol

I wonder at times WHY ARE YOU TYPING LIKE A CHILD.
Then she posts her results to the Dante's Inferno Hell Quiz. I had to take this shit in High School when I read the Inferno. It called me a heretic, which I can live with. If squares call me a heretic I'm doing something right.
She, however, is padding her results to look more "badass" than she really is. Look at this shit.

Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Extreme
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Extreme
Level 7 (Violent)	Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Extreme
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very High

A violent, gloomy, fraudulent, treacherous heretic. JUST THE PERSON I WANT TO MEET.
I remember me and the people I knew in the class tried to pad our results as much as possible to see if we could get extreme on everything (what else are you going to do) and we couldn't even get results like this when we tried.

Choose one word to describe me ... just one single word.

Just one word? Let me see, there are so many to choose from and this is all so sudd-
Cunt.
That's me.

Ah Jesus Christ

I'm sure I've mentioned my respect for the Greek pantheon of gods and goddesses. Though I'm not a religious person by any means, that's probably the closest I come to being religious.
My respect for pantheistic gods (gods that rule over some aspect of life or nature) doesn't stop at Greek gods, though. Generally I find the idea more interesting than some omnipotent singular entity that sees everything you do and knows everything you think.
While I was sure, before starting this project, that I was the only (or one of the few) that thought this way I've since learned that I am in a rather large minority. And, like anime fans, this minority is fucking annoying.
So she took this test and pasted it in wrong (hint: LiveJournal doesn't support HTML. Try PHP) declaring that she was like the goddess Isis. I'm not sure that's something I'd be parading around proudly because, as Wikipedia can well attest, Isis was fucking nuts.
Then she mentions her muses, which I'm sure I've yelled at people about before.

Also, have three days to write a pantoum and a prose poem. And all my muses want to do is play with my fanfiction. Why only when I don't have time?!

The muse of fanfiction, huh? That has to be the most useless muse of all time. That's the muse all the other muses make fun of for having no talent and generally being an antisocial douche.
I've been a litfag all my life practically, and I have no idea what a pantoum is.

Just got back from my midterm -- you know, that test that I've been studying my butt off for the past week for? Yep. Save for the take-home essay, the majority of the test was passage identification, which can be very difficult if you're good with concepts, but not so much specific wording, like...oh, say, me.

That sounds like the excuse of someone who didn't study, thought she could rely on her natural talent, only to be rudely reminded midway through the test that oh, that's right, I don't have any natural talent.
If I can identify passages of poems I haven't read, you can identify passages you have read. I find your excuses weak and deeply unconvincing.

I think I got most of them. But there was one... It just sounded so much like Wordsworth, and I'd read "Lines above Tinturn Abby" so many times.... But I still wasn't sure about it, so I looked it up when I got home.

I rag on poetry a lot, but Wordsworth has a fairly distinctive tone. I can't imagine confusing him with anyone else.
To make a long story short, here's what you should never do on a test:

So I wrote approximately half a page explaining and discussing the wrong thing entirely.

Ho ho ho big mistake.

And didn't you know that freaking out makes things okay? It's not freaking out that guarantees disaster. (or was it the other way around? /tongue in cheek)

Feh.

*hates the government and all its red tape and is about to cross over to the anarchists camp just for the stress relief*

I think the asterisks are to denote an action and not a mode of thinking, but in the grown up world we just start sentences with "I" instead of all this emotive nonsense.

In other news of a lovely nature: I CAN HAS WRITE POETRY!!!

Holy shit I'm raging like motherfucking Fist of the North Star right now goddamn.

I can't believe it, but I actually managed to write a poem. Hereness, take a gander if you care, skip over it if you don't.

Fuck yes you are the worst blog ever.
Here it is:

Haunt


A childish game, lost within betrayal:
To what do I owe this charming visit?


A severed trust, a secret too long held
in silence. Allow me: to look, to stroke.


I'll slice them off, those awful fingers that
did dare to snatch this, my sweetness, my joy.
That which was none but my own to treasure.


Yet why? What reason spurs, what purpose thrills
to greedy hands? To clammy palms against
uneasy skin, confused and trembling thoughts?


Unwanted comes, and I am damaged, spoiled
beyond repair. A scar, unknown, unseen;
a scream, to fling my tears against the wall
unmoved. Forever burdened, this endure.


And what is strength, if not continuing
on? What is hope, if not to conquer pain?
Laughter survives. Innocence heals. That thing


the nightmare I can never forget.

So that was horrible.

O.o Iambic Pentameter? Whuts that? o.O Enjambment? Never heard of it.

No I guess you haven't. You do have some aborted attempts at enjambment after reading over it again, but your lines are not arranged in iambic pentameter. Your best bet would be to say it's Dactyllic Hexameter if you translate it into the original Greek, but I doubt anyone would fall for it.
Iambic pentameter, for those of you who are ignorant to the favored mode of poetry for hacks one and all, is a line of five syllables (pentameter) arranged in iambs, which is a form of feet consisting of a stressed and an unstressed syllable. Her poem fails in both regards. Most of her lines contain more than five feet, and most aren't stressed followed by unstressed.
Enjambment, to use her poem as an example, is this:

Yet why? What reason spurs, what purpose thrills
to greedy hands?

See how the actual sentence spills over into the next line? Usually it's done to connect two sentences closely or to keep with a certain rhythm, but since her poem has neither coherence nor rhythm it's probably easier just to call her a hack and move on.

Stats for British Literature:

Must be to the end of Volume II of Frankenstein by six tonight.

Currently: halfway through Volume I

*blinks* What? I had other reading, too!

Lunch is done, back to work. Toodles, darlings!

*skips off*

That's like fifty pages. Good work doing your homework, you.
Oh, oh shit. Gross. My eyes almost rolled out of my head when I saw this.
Her current mood:

Disturbingly good

Well at least you have the disturbing part right.

* They had a grand total of ( I swear to you, I counted as I packed every one) six boxes of nothing but hangers. So I wrote cute-clever little one-liners on the boxes expressing my amazement at having so pack to many, only to realize far too late that I'd spelled them all "hangars".

*facepalm*

News at eleven: English major commits suicide over word misspelled in red ink.

Oh, if only. Maybe you're sharper with the one liners than I am, but the only "cute" one liner that I could come up with is "abortion factory".

And then, of course, when I finally found my classroom (in between the eight and ten of rooms starting with thirty-three when all the rooms on the second floor are supposed to start with twenty-two. SRSLY--huh?!), my professor was right in the middle of going over the lateness policy part of her syllabus. Fantastic. *facepalm* And then we played an introduction game where we had to introduce ourselves with a metaphor and then repeat them as we went around the room.

SRSLY guys, SRSLY.

I get the feeling everyone had the whole pointy porcupine thing in their minds rather than the pen, like I did. Oh well.

... I have no clue what that means.
Next I'm going to analyze these two sentences, and let's see if we can find the break with reality:

And I'm relieved that everyone in Poetry seems to have such fun, down-to-earth attitudes.

Her class is down to earth, all right.

(Seriously, one of the guys used the metaphor SPARTA! for himself, and another used a ficus. One of the girls used My Little Pony. I'm not kidding. It was fun. I hope it stays that way. *hopeshopes*)

There it was. Down to earth, comparing yourself to a ficus or Sparta (I'd love to hear that metaphor. I'm like Sparta because I, too, have sex with young boys).

Oh, and then I volunteered to work for someone else tonight. On my day off. On the first day of classes. This is why I will probably never procreate.

Thank you evolution.

We saw Journey to the Center of the Earth (Brendan Frasier is always entertaining)

If you had asked me earlier today what I believed I'd never hear articulated into a thought, this would be near the top of my list.

OMG *squeesheartssparklystars* !!!!!

That's it. Entry fucking over.

Oh no

The first entry I clicked on today was entitled "Another Short Entry" because that was promising. It quickly proved to be longer than one of my average posts, so I don't know if she was being sarcastic or if her other posts are reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally long but I won't be finding out.
But I got this next one. The next blog is composed entirely as a poem.
Every single entry is broken into lines and stanzas.
Do they rhyme or even make a coherent thought most of the time? Of course not.
Furthering my theory that all poetry is nothing but sentences with random line breaks.

i like piles of words.
handfulls of things that sound nicely balanced
and have senses attached to them.
i also like the release of thinking
out loud on here.

So she likes exactly that which her blog is not. I see. Well as we learned in the fable "The Fox and the Grapes" it is easy to hate that which you have not, so I guess she's being a the bigger person in that case. Also "handfuls" only has one l. Just putting it out there.

i think by now you know how much i
owe you as far as events in this life
of mine go,
but that's for some other time.

All right to save myself from some (much) tedium I'll just skip about five stanzas. That seems fair.

and just like that.
everything was over.
all the look-forward-to's finished themselves off.
just like God promised AND warned me of.

Good Christ I can never get away from that guy, can I? Finding a post is about God is kind of like finding a prize in a box of cereal.
Only instead of a prize it's a razor blade.
And instead of cereal it's shit.

smoke and vapor.
breath and chaff.
i still cringe when i think about it.

Maybe had I read those five stanzas I skipped this would make more sense than it does but somehow I doubt it.

now. i sit.
senior ditch day.
full of cookie dough and other
only-for-the-taste pleasant things.
on the rag.
looking like i don't care.
but definitely alive and well.

I really need to make an official check list for these fucking things. So that's officially:

• God
• Mention of periods

yesterday i talked to a bunch of kids about God.
i wonder...and fear that they laughed more than
really got something.

Smart kids. I'd laugh at the vapid cunt babbling incoherently about miracles and an imaginary being too. Look, no one asked you to convert them, so could you keep your cheap stories of salvation to yourself, please?

my thoughts are these precious christmas beads.
i'm so glad that i feel God's taking me somewhere.
but my soul can't seem to verbalize it to anything.
not even itself. or God. or my brain.
how much of this burden am i suppose to carry anyway?
i asked God this today.
i'm sure that when Jesus was done preaching, he wondered too,
if they REALLY got it.
and i'm sure he cared so much it pained him.
yesterday i talked to them and wasn't sure if i was getting anywhere.
and i wonder if i want to get somewhere with them just so i can
feel good about it.

So... Wait, what?

so...i need to know how to do this whole thing.
speaking truth without walking away kicking myself,
without impure motives. with the right outlook.

I'm starting to notice a recurring theme with these God posts. They always ask a question to God, they don't get a response, then wonder and wonder why there is no response. Then somewhere down the road something happens that they construe as being a sign from God.
I'm not saying that's stupid, but that's pants on head retarded.
That's seriously the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
I bet if I checked up a week from now she saw a mourning dove on a stop sign and interpreted that as a response from God or something.
Whatever burden you think you're carrying is yours to carry and yours alone. Shut up no mystical being will relieve you of it.
Also, assuming there is a burden you have to carry (which seems to revolve around converting the heathen or something) what makes you so deserving of being relieved of it?

why do i feel the need to make God appealing?
if i recall correctly, He did that perfectly on His own
for me.
one word and i melted. no one made it happen.
i just had an open heart, to be sure.
God's appealing enough when He shows up.
and he promises to ALWAYS show up when
we wait and watch earnestly.

Smart marketing? You don't see candy companies talking about how their products are like sucking on a dog turd, do you? Also the reason it was easy for you is because you are, after all, an idiot. I bet you'd hop into the sack with a guy on the promise that he'll "really, really love you after this" then proceed to treat you like shit.

it seems that as a christian who's never
really rejected the teaching but built and built
on a solid foundation, the real raw questions come out later.

Ha, ha, ha yeah I guess they do. Blindly accepting a bronze age dogma then wondering later why it makes no sense must be tough. Most people would just find something that makes more sense, but I guess pursuing it regardless of the sense it makes is a noble goal, in a stupid way.

and there's nothing this hurting world loves more
than REAL. something relatable. something understandable.
a language of their own.
didn't Jesus speak ours?
hmm...the answer's a comin.

No, Jesus didn't speak our language. Literally. He spoke Aramaic or something.

the best part about all these scary questions is
that God knows exactly what's going on in this head
and heart of mine.

That's why I make sure to think "fuck anyone listening to my thoughts right now" every three seconds. Just to be safe.

it's amazing how satan can take something
totally annointed and meant for
the Glory of God,
and turn it into a deceitful trap
or a vainly uplifted endeavor.

It's funny how preoccupied Christians are with Satan. For a character, he's a minor character at best. He's mentioned something like thirteen times in the entire book, and most of the time he's in some other form like a serpent.
Ehh, and really, he's more relatable than that God character. Satan at least makes mistakes and seems somewhat human. In many ways he's a tragic hero, in fact. How many of your Bible stories are about the small man overcoming adversity in the face of a greater foe? David beating Goliath, Samson... Well getting his shit ruined but whatever, Job... Getting his shit mangled by God, and on and on.

anyhow. seth's in my room right now.
he keeps saying "bubby-dude".
he's in his tiny little boxers.
i'm almost smitten.
but he keeps touching everything!
so i should stop typing now.

You have company and you're typing all this shit? You're the worst host ever. This is bad and you should feel bad.
Now it's doing this thing where the font shifts back and forth and it's all over the place. Feels like I'm reading that book House of Leaves again, and that's something I don't even want to be reminded of.
House of Leaves. Holy shit. READ THIS IT'S SCARY AS FUCK DO IT. So I do it, and what I expected was PRIMAL TERROR but what I got was one of those deep lung yawns that doesn't want to come out but you force it out then you kind of have a headache for a few seconds afterwards.
I guess the idea is scary enough. The scariest parts of scary movies are usually the tension right before whatever happens happens, so stretching that part out indefinitely is pretty smart, but the problem is it's so wracked with poor writing choices that by the end I couldn't give three fucks about four fucks.

You're the Answer.

I still have to play that. Thanks for reminding me. Gotta do this before Persona 4 comes out.

Sadness is beautiful to too many people too often.
and disappointment can easily be made into the most listened to song

or most read poem.

I bet you're going to turn this into a long winded post about how that's bad and we should turn our attentions to Jesus, but I'd just like to mention that disappointment and sadness are part of the human condition. Everyone relates to sadness so IT FUCKING SELLS. I bet you really think those song writers feel all that shit. While they certainly may, most of them said "hey this sounds good and it'll sell" then someone sings it. End of story.

gross.
tomorrow holds SO much.
God holds SO much for tomorrow.

I didn't even read ahead. I fucking called it.

Why do you spend you money for that which is not bread,
and your earnings for what does not satisfy?

I bought a Techmarine with a Thunderfire Cannon, so I'm mighty satisfied. I'm thinking of adding some Sternguard veterans because they look cool and they have multiple ammo types, so they'd be a good trouble shooting squad. I was also thinking of adding some scouts on bikes because they have mines.

First, these flesh covered ears must be trained
to even here Him call.
Let alone answering wherever and whenever.

Here him call. Here him call. Here him call. Here him call.
Also I refuse to uppercase "him" because it isn't a proper noun.

it makes your spirit scream inside of you.

That happened to me that time I ate at Bojangle's. Never again.

and because your stomach's full,
the physical translates my spiritual rainfall into vomit.

Again I'm reminded of Bojangle's.
That's it. I wasn't planning on this happening, but here we are anyway.