M8

I dunno what blog I'm reviewing yet but I'm sure I'll pull it from the comments of this article:

VIEWPOINT: The Debt Everyone Is Freaking Out About Does Not Exist

Pretty sure it does.

Well, not quite. The actual truth is that the debt everyone’s freaking out about does not exist.

[citation needed]

Some of the debt certainly exists, like the roughly $11.6 trillion owed to foreign and private creditors.

THE DEBT DOESN'T EXIST
WE ARE ONLY 11.6 TRILLION DOLLARS IN DEBT.
If you paid off 10 trillion dollars of the debt
you'd still owe 1.6 trillion dollars.
All right let's DO THIS.

Hot damn! I'm reading a book called 'Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World' and I must say that I am utterly amazed! I have this (somewhat) obsession with particular military generals and their motives -- not necessarily the wars themselves. I think It's because, as a reader, I like characters more and some of these leaders/generals were ... well, fascinating. XD

XD I'M GOING TO SHIP GENGHIS KHAN XD

Anyway, this book gave much more depth and insight on the political objectives of Genghis and Kublai that were surprising. Such as, Genghis Khan outlawed bride stealing. He wrote all his laws down. The soldiers would learned all their laws by singing. Much to my own surprise, the Mongols hated/feared blood and body parts, especially the head.

Oh wow imagine that primitive barbarians were superstitious.
Color me fucking surprised.

Don't get me wrong. He did terrible things, certainly. It's just amazing to compare today with back then, ya know?

Good work, social justice warrior.
GENGHIS KHAN DID SOME MEAN THINGS LIKE COMMIT ONE OF THE FIRST INSTANCES OF RECORDED BIOLOGICAL WARFARE
BUT YOU KNOW
GOOD GUY OTHERWISE.

I'm getting really sick of authors who title their books (well, okay, the publishers too because they have a say in it) with a bastardization of Ray Bradbury's "Something Wicked This Way Comes". Your book will never be as good as Bradbury's, okay? Just stop it! D

I pretty much refuse to read anything with a title that's a pun of another title of a book.
If you're that creatively bankrupt on the cover I can't even imagine what's inside.

I'm writing again, after a year or more! And it's a completely original idea. So far it's been running smoothly but I'm getting close to hitting the "this story REALLY sucks" wall.

That's probably your brain telling you to stop.

Gah. I don't know what to do about that. I'm having fun but this is like my DEMON WRITING NUMBER ONE (tm) with echo'es.

Echo'es.
That's a word, is it?
Maybe you should stop writing.
What the fuck does that even mean?
I was too focused on "echo'es" to notice you hadn't formed a coherent idea in the first place.

I had a horrible dream. 

Ever notice when someone describes a dream they had it's the dumbest fucking thing you've ever heard in your entire life?

I feel like the US is toast. I always have had that dredged "we're in trouble" feeling but I also thought some of our smart citizens would step up before it got too bad. Or that we have enough thinking people to put ourselves back together.

But...

Well, I fear I'm losing that hope. I'm finally believing that most everyone is an idiot.

Yeah.
Yeah that's right, echo'es.
Wow.
If you feel like that imagine how actual intelligent people feel.
It's a horrible feeling, let me tell you.

There is an Oklahoma republican that wants to pass a law making it illegal to use human aborted fetuses in mass produced food for "flavoring". He apparently believes we're all eating aborted fetuses. This is the most retarded thing I've ever heard. It's obviously a ploy to ban abortions.

That's not the bad part.

I watched it on a news report off youtube. The hosts were (justly) mocking this. That horrible, sinking feeling came from the comments. Since the hosts hadn't specifically said this was "false", people were commenting: "well, is it true? Are people using human fetuses in food?"

That's like... so much worse then the republican. 

Than*.
She's intelligent, though.
Fuck you.
YOU CAN BE SMART AND FAIL AT SECOND GRADE GRAMMAR, OKAY?
JUST LIKE YOU CAN BE SMART AND NOT KNOW 2x2.
Wait no you can't no one would make that argument that's provably stupid.
Why is it okay to claim not knowing second grade grammar is acceptable and you can still be smart despite that?
Fuck this gay earth.
She posted her favorite quote and it's like the longest fucking quote in the history of the world.
Quotes are supposed to be a sentence or two and sound cool.

I was watching a show on kidnapped brides. I forget what country it was in -- well, rather, I dunno how to spell it and I'm too lazy to look it up. It was one of the 'stans.

Kyrgyzstan you lazy pleb.

They've even made a bastardized version of a wedding to make it all offical. Like, they throw flowers at the poor girl and put a white scarf over her head, and BAM! she's married. The show I was watching showed this man kidnapping this poor girl and gah! It made me so angry.

Why do we even bother thinking we're civilized and different from animals?

>We
>one backwards country that you can't even be assed to remember the name of does this
Most people don't kidnap women they want to marry.
What's with the righteous indignation? You literally couldn't be bothered to remember where this even happens.

So, I have this theory and I think it's a good one, (I'm only half kidding... maybe.) And as my theories are usually just delusions my mind subjects me to, I have no proof.

Thus: I giveth my conspiracy theory to thine eyes!

It goes like this: I think the republican party is going way overboard to ensure Obama gets reelected. Consciously, I mean.

Stupid.
Here's my conspiracy theory:
the county I work in doesn't want me to work tomorrow because the only jobs posted are really shitty schools that I'm not taking.

OMG! I think the Tea Party has just dealt itself a death blow. LAWLS!

Tea Party: "Go on strike! Stop hiring people!"

Like there is any jobs.

Are.
There are any jobs.
Plural.
JobS.
Are jobs.
Not is jobs.

 Maybe they think saying this will fool people into thinking there are jobs and that businesses are on "strike". OMG. Funniest thing I've heard all day.

Also people are employed, you know.
I could go on strike from my job.
The job that I have.
I don't know to what end but I could do it.

Man. I am so, so far removed from Christianity. I hadn't realized it. Last night (well, this morning), that knowledge gave me a bitch slap that still has me seeing starts. 

>seeing starts
>starts
WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?
Seeing starts.
Seeing
fucking
starts
What the fuck
Seeing stars, dipshit.
You know when you hit your head and you see sparkly things that LOOK LIKE FUCKING STARS?
I'm Googling this. There's no fucking way you're this stupid.
It must be something dipshits in the Midwest say.
Nope.
Google called me an asshole for even suggesting it.
Fuck you.

I downloaded a book called "Pagan Christianity". I love historical non-fiction on pretty much every subject. There isn't a lot of audio books on this sort of thing. It's mostly atheists ranting about Christianity or visa versa. The book purported to talk on the origins of the melding religions (as Christianity took over the earlier faiths and assimilated them.)

As man turned away from the one true religion.

My library is kind of cool because they have this online thing that lets you "check out" electronic books as well as electronic audio books. We can "check out" 10 books at a time. They've formatted the books to disable themselves after the check out date as passed. It used to be 3 weeks (like the in library check outs) but they changed that to 1 week, 2 weeks, and 3 weeks check out periods.

I wonder if this is common.
I bet that 3 week limit is easy to pop.

Now, I have an ipod that I take to work with me and listen to books on tape. For audio books, we get to choose between mp3s and wma files. Wma files is a windows extension. Both of these types have some sort of thing in them that makes it impossible to convert to another file type.

What bugs the crap out of me is that the majority of the books are in wma format. On the overdrive page, in big block letters, there is a category that says "IPOD compatible books". All these IPOD "compatible" books are in wma formats.

Yeah well that's what you get for buying an Apple product, dipshit.

I'm listening to the "Emperors of Rome" audio class (via TTC.) I'm really not surprised by much in this course save this one law... It was apparently against the law to kill a virgin girl.

Rome had a lot of weird laws.

We all know how those hostile take-overs go. When the emperor is deposed, whoever is raised in his place kills the entire family. 

Rome.
Back when people knew how to conduct business.

So the old emperor is deposed (I forget the emperors name) and the new regime orders the death of his family.

OH YOU KNOW
DEFINITELY NOT IMPORTANT TO THIS STORY OR ANYTHING.
Because the Roman Empire was just one continuous thing and didn't undergo any cultural change at all in its history.

He has several young children, one of which is a girl. The teacher mentions, almost as a side note, "oh, and ancient Rome had a policy in which you couldn't put a virgin girl to death."

Supposedly the guard hired to carry this out said the princess looked up at him as said "if I'd done something wrong, tell me and I won't do it again." He sent a note to the new emperor saying he took care of the girls virginity before executing her.

Yeah.
Barbaric times and shit.

 Now, I'm no blushing daisy. I know how these things go. Raping, pillaging, and burning towns down (in whichever order) was the ancient past time. It's just... that law leaves me cold. Ancient Romans weren't idiots either. They knew as well as you and me that people in that situation would be killed. It's govern sanctioned rape.

But Genghis Khan
he definitely didn't rape anyone.
I wonder what emperor this happened under?
Galba?

She to be fairly young as well. Girls were married off when they are 13-ish. It's not enough to kill her whole family, to also be on the point of killing her, but the government says they have to rape her first.

That is... terrible.

Yeah people did some shit back then.
They knew they lived in primitive times and they were trying their hardest to move to the modern age as fast as possible.
But then you have the dark ages and shit and what can you do?
It's not like it's significantly better now, though.

I am fascinated by war history. I'm listening to "The Storm of War", a history of WWII. For some reason, I find Operation Barbarossa to be intriguing. It was like a train wreck in the war. I know hindsight is 20/20 but still... 

Really?
The invasion of the Soviet Union might not have been the best idea ever?
I've just been idly clicking the "back" button on this blog for like 15 minutes.
This woman never says anything remotely interesting.
How fucking terrible must your life be?
Fuck this I'm going.

Slideshow

Got into the new FFXIV 2.0 beta thing and it was fun until I hit the combat and everything turned into a slideshow and became an unplayable mess.
Good job with this shit, SE.
Anyway here we go--
I'm sure it's just because there are 8000 people mashed into one little area but come on you invited a billion people to this thing maybe mobilize more than four servers.

AW YES

MY INTERNSHIP IS FINALLY OVER

I REALLY MEAN IT THIS TIME

really really. the e-mail said it was done. DONE. nothing more I gotta do. they'll put my name on the website and everything.

NOW TO PUT THAT BADBOY ON MY RESUME

AND I SWEAR TO CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCH IF THAT DOESN'T HELP ME GET A JOB IN WHAT REMAINS OF THIS YEAR






THEN I'LL BE PRETTY SAD.

CAPS LOCK ACTIVATE
Like what's wrong with you?

figured I should say something here, since I last wrote.

finished a fanfic since then. applying for graduate school.

sup?

Oh I'm sorry, are we having a dialogue?
Not much is up here. I'm just sorting my skill queue in EVE Online.
What are you doing?
Oh shit, that's right. It's a fucking blog entry and you can't respond.
Idiot.

i thought i was only at one warning

because i never used a goddamn cash register before having this job

but apparently i screwed up so badly i jumped ahead two

even the manager on duty didn't know exactly what i did wrong

how the fuck does that even happen

how the fuck did i not even last one fucking month there

i am just.... fuck. why am i so fucking pathetic

She got fired because she can't work a cash register.
But she was working at a dollar store so I imagine it's even more passive aggressive than a grocery store.
Of course quite how you fuck up "this item is a dollar" I don't know but whatever.

I clean up aisles, unpack things and put them in their place, but for the first time in my life, I worked the register. And boy do I suck at it. I have to memorize my SS, and there’s tons of odd combinations I have to do if a customer wants to retract an item. Now the thing is, I am TERRIBLE with math in all forms. Counting, handling change, you name it, I suck. I screwed up so much today… one of the managers said there’s a certain number of times you can do give back incorrect change before you get terminated. And I did it 3 times today.

How the fuck is there change involved when everything is a dollar?
Am I losing my mind?
Tax I guess but still--
how do you fuck up giving change back?
Like yes, I'll admit we had words at my old shitty grocery store job over what constituted a full table of pistachios (I somehow got in trouble for having it too full and too empty [the mountain of pistachios I created when they couldn't make up their fucking mind didn't help my cause]) but at least I know how to make change.
In fact, yes.
No matter what happens in my life
no matter how shit I think I am at any of my jobs
at least I can break a dollar.

So… yeah, Mom said if I am terminated next week or something, not to “get offended”. She really wants us to keep looking for other jobs, since the security in this one is so terrible. But for now, a job is a job. I’ll be working on Weds and Thurs next week. Fingers crossed.

Yeah just abandon hope now.

$8.50 an hour, not too shabby.

Yeah in 1980 maybe.

I just...  I dunno, it's almost getting to be a year since I graduated from college, and I feel like I keep letting my parents down. I'm the only one unemployed in the family - even my little sister just got hired last week, and one of my cousins got a paid internship yesterday. I'm happy for them, of course, but... I feel so damn useless. But I have no right to be upset, not when there's worse things happening to people, I'm blessed and lucky to still be where I am.

English major ahoy!

I'm an English major. I was screaming internally for the last five minutes of the interview.

Oh holy shit.
I swear I didn't know that before I said she was an English major.
Psychic right here send the black ships I'm ready to start my inquisitorial career.

BITCHES I'M GETTING PUBLISHED

YOU READ THAT RIGHT

Published in Caps Lock Press apparently.

Granted it's for a webzine and I won't be paid and they heavily edited it

BUT LOOK AT ALL THE FUCKS I GIVE

Uhhh
you should give at least two.
One for not getting paid and the other for editing you.
Like you can't even use that as some sort of spurious reference on a resume if they edited you.
Holy fuck after this it's just MEME MEME MEME fuck it I'm going to bed.
ICE TOMORROW MAYBE OH SHIT.

Whoa

I found a blog called Edie.
How crazy is that?
I was going to review it just out of principle.
Like no matter how shitty it was I was going to muscle through but it turned out to be friends only.
But the real kind of friends only where I wasn't allowed to see any of the entries.
SO YOU GOT OFF EASY THIS TIME.
Anyway we have this hippie.

It's been a busy, full weekend and it's not quite over yet though today's work is for my first volunteer job, Planned Parenthood. I'm getting ready to head out for Reproductive Rights Lobby Day in Olympia to meet with my district's legislators and attend a rally, all on President's Day!

Busy weekend being a militant liberal.

Sunday I went out to Carnation for a gouda making class with my chicken-neighbor friend, Sarah. I now have my very own cheese mold and I've already gathered all the other tools I need to make hard cheeses!

This is one of those blogs where fucking everything is a hyperlink to something.
Somehow "cheese mold" was linked to something.
Guess you can shop for cheese mold online.
There's a website for that.
You can just casually buy cheese mold online.
Do you ever stop to think maybe our society is too decadent when you can do something like that?
We've made it easy
to make life harder.
You can just go to the store and buy cheese you know.
But if that's too fucking mainstream for you or you have 800000 moral objections about bullshit no one cares about you can buy mold online to make your own cheese.
It blows my mind that this is even a thing.

I did it! I made my very own hugelkultur yesterday.

Your own what?
No.
No, sometimes it's better to not ask.
Oh shit. That's the end of this blog.
Wow.
It was all about some weird co-op in Washington.
Guess it's time for a two-play FRIDAY.

Guys.

Guys.

No, seriously, guys.

One of my co-workers (who knows that medieval and Renaissance geekery is My Thing In Life) just tried to get into an argument with me about how Showtime's The Tudors is incredibly accurate.

Who gives a shit?

There is one Very Special Snowflake on my FB who posted about the Todd Akin debacle I posted about earlier today and he keeps on with strawman arguments and rape apologism and Godwin's Law and I am currently grinding my teeth down to little bitty nubs.

Anybody have a spare bazooka they're not using?  I'll bring it back as soon as I am done.

Who gives a shit?
You're arguing on Facebook.
Clearly your entire existence is pointless.
This is what's bothering you in life.
Someone said something stupid on Facebook.
And it warrants a blog post.
How about you unfriend him?
Or ignore him?
You have options here.
Oh there's a picture of you.
Man them harpoons m8

Did I mention that when I went to the doctor, my weight is up to 273?

Deeply unhappy about that.

Makes me want to crawl under a rock and never come back out.

273
Jesus.
You couldn't get out of your own way if you tried.

I am one of those fools who enjoys swimming, even when the water is rather ridiculously cold.

Well you know they say some whales swim around the polar ice caps, so.
Clearly you're built for that sort of thing.

So, in an effort to try to shape up, I bought a hula hoop...y'know, one of the semi-pro ones? I just did my first half-hour hooping session and my abs hurt, I am huffing and puffing, and actually worked up a sweat. I only managed to keep the hoop up for about thiry seconds at a go. I really hope it gets easier...or at least I can keep the hoop up longer. 

Must be a pretty big hula hoop.

I have to take a class this quarter entitled "Basic Computer Skills."

No, I can't test out of it.

Yeah I couldn't either.
Not even my argument of "well I built my own computer and I reinstalled Windows just this weekend so I think I can swing a spreadsheet" worked.
Not that reinstalling Windows is hard. It's pretty much just follow the onscreen instructions but that's on par with a spreadsheet in terms of difficulty and it's, like, way scarier if we're going by computer newbie logic so you'd think that would count for something.
But nope.

As all y'all know, I am going to be a nurse.  Having been interested in the body, all its weirdness, and all the Very Bad Things that can happen to the body, I tend to read anything I can get my hands on about epidemiology, the history of medicine (as I am interested in both history and medicine, the history of medicine is Very Much Relevant To My Interests indeed), plagues, pandemics, and assorted bacterial/viral/fungal Happy Fun Times resulting in the deaths of populations.

Yeah she does this thing that I've somehow managed to avoid up to this point where she'll just randomly uppercase what she feels are important thoughts.
I know Dark Age thinkers would do shit like that but come on.
Pretty sure you're not allowed to write "y'all" then try to pretend like you're a medieval thinker.

To say vaccines are worse than the illnesses they prevent is total, complete, and utter hogwash. 

You know usually the flu vaccine makes me kinda sick for about 24 hours after I get it.
That didn't really happen this time. I remember thinking "oh, well maybe I'm finally not a pussy" but then I caught Nurgle's Rot this year so I'm starting to think maybe the flu vaccine wasn't as effective this year as it has been in years past.

Imagine coughing so hard your ribs break. 

I coughed so hard one of my floater ribs made a weird popping noise.

While I'm at it, since the measles/mumps/rubella (MMR) vaccine is the primary one Jenny McCarthy et al. froth at the mouth most about, there is such a hullabaloo raised about autism caused by vaccination and it is rage-inducing.  These people go on and on about vaccines causing autism, because apparently there's nothing worse in the world that autism.  I beg your pardon?  Autism is somehow worse than death?  Or causing pregnant women to miscarry is okay as long as your kid is neurotypical?  *flail*headdesk*flail*  These anti-vaccination people don't seem to realize -- 

Doesn't that logic kind of apply in reverse?
So it's okay that my kid has autism as long as you don't miscarry?
You know it's pretty easy for you to say "autism isn't that bad" when no one you know his profoundly autistic.
Ordinarily I wouldn't give a shit but it's really kind of hypocritical when one of these social justice ONTD_P warriors is really insensitive about shit.
Since, you know, if it's any little thing that sets them off they demand to be accommodated immediately and without question.
In fact "need of the many" would be the kind of argument I'd make.
Not you.
I think we mixed our cue cards up or something.
Apparently they live with some yahoo or something.
These people are middle aged, I'd like to point out.
They're all in their late 30s or early 40s.
I dunno.

I just figured out that one of the guys on my FB friends list is a Nice Guy.

...*sigh*

WHAT A FAGGOT.
I ONLY KEEP COMPANY WITH ASSHOLES.
Nice guys.
Pffft.
Someone should beat him.

Boe's laptop managed to get a virus, so there's even less psoting than usual from my neck of the woods.

REBOOTING IN SAFE MODE WHAT
HELP
I'M A WOMAN USING A COMPUTER
WHAT DO I DO
Anyway fuck blogs and fuck the internet.
I'm going now.

Plague Unending

How the hell am I still not fully well?
How long has this been going on?
Am I dying?
I wish it'd hurry the fuck up.

Today I went to National Gallery of Art with a friend, walked around DC, and went to the Kennedy Center's Millennium Stage to hear the US Air Force string quartet. Guys, I am so fucking cultured right now, I could make e coli jealous.

Well I have so many bacteria cultures living in me I'd make e coli jealous so.
You know.
e coli isn't invited.
It's about the only one not invited.

On Monday I am going to a jazz club, which feels apropo, somehow, after we found Etta James' star on a DC sidewalk.

Apropos.
Come on if you're going for the douchebag word at least spell it right.

I also, half an hour ago, began a new fic.

I love the feeling of a fic being born: I never get that electric feeling in my blood otherwise, except when I am in love. As I get more experienced as a writer, there is also that sad thought that statistically speaking, there is a 1% chance that I will ever be finished, however much in love I might be. What this says about my love life I dare not ponder. 

What the fuck?
Was that English?
Are those words I know?

This week has just been one of those weeks, honestly. I moved into a new place with new roommates because it was a) cheaper b) closer and c) I HATED my old roommate. Someday I will tell you all the long, sorry tale. Anyway, my new roommates are grad students from Thailand and Indonesia and whenever they don't have a paper due the next day (which is often, poor grad students) they bring home a bottle of wine to celebrate something or the other. And they invite me to have a glass or four and I ACCEPT, because SELF CONTROL, HOW DOES IT WORK 

M8

with the result that, together with being sick, sleeping it off has caused me to miss a lot of work and class. I mean, not a lot and I think quite a bit of it is due to me being sick rather than a total alcoholic but still. STILL. For the first time in my life I've shown up to a class slightly buzzed.

M8

Which is actually pretty nice, because it was totally relaxing and I could focus better on what was actually important in my notes BUT THAT IS SO NOT THE POINT OMG. The point is that is howwwww did I sink so low? /woe, sorrow, anguish etc.

ur a cheeky kunt m8 check urself b4 u reck urself m8

My laptop won't start.

I tried everything; took out the battery and AC adapter, switched the memory cards, tried them one at a time...Nothing. Nothing.

Whatashame.
I'm sure this is an easy fix but you know.
Girls using computers.

While I've been enjoying it enormously, something's been bothering me about Suits and it took til the latest episode to put my finger on why. 

About what?
Suits?
Is that a TV show?
This post is from 2011.
I've never even heard of that. Is it still on?
Oh man it is.
I am really out of touch with TV.

The characters are lawyers at a large, expensive, private firm. That's fine. But each episode manages to avoid the sort of moral dilemma that should be inevitable in these companies. Lawyers sometimes have to defend the indefensible and ruin the innocent. That's not some sort of judgement I'm laying down; it's just the way it is. Yet at the end of each episode, somehow, the big corporate lawyers were on the side of good.

Americlaps can't handle moral ambiguity.
It's too scary for us.
If God and Jesus didn't say it in the Bible we don't understand.

 I am seriously addicted to Glee. Seriously, this needs to stop. I've watched every episode at least three times and I don't even ship anyone! I just have a purely platonic adoration for this show.

Women.
I WATCHED A TV SHOW AND DIDN'T EVEN IMAGINE TWO PEOPLE HAVING GAY SEX!

While still deeply down in the dumps about Netherlands' loss to Russia in the Euro '08 semifinals (soccer--you wouldn't understand)

HIPSTER AS FUCK
I WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.

To all my weird little friends that I usually adore:

I don't like Twilight.

There's a shocker.
Guess it's too mainstream.
Anyway I can't handle shit anymore.
Going.

the plague thing

I still have the plague.
It has been like two fucking weeks.
So, sorry for not updating lately but I've also finally crossed that threshold where I'm well enough to teach school again but not well enough for it not to make me fucking miserable.
So that's kind of what's been up all week. Just me doing the school thing then coming home and praying for a release from this mortal coil.
Anyway let's do this.
If I have one last action I want it to be something pointless like this blog.

Typical cyberbullies. Talk all the shit in the world, then go suspiciously silent when one-upped.

Put it down as the latest in a long line of effortless wins for me.

>arguing on the internet
>winning
Nope.

If one more waste of blood from the Tea Party uses the term “Real America/ Americans” to describe small, conservative-leaning rural towns and the populace thereof, I am going to kick them through a jet engine. Forgive me for reviving a phrase that went out with whalebone corsets and the minuet, but how DARE you? 

Wow imagine if you had real problems.
Like no, seriously. What if you had a problem beyond the word choice of others?
Can you imagine how much more complex your life might be?
Like imagine if you're just me and you have to teach middle school while under the weather.
Do you have any idea how much worse my problem is?
If we were to compare problems it'd be like not having a problem to starving in Africa.
And I'm not trying to act like a badass here. My problem is barely a problem-- if I weren't sick I'd be riding high.
What passes for decent pay in 2013--
doing well at my job--
not too difficult--
but even still it's like a serious thing I have to reckon with. What's your problem in life?
Nothing.

DANIELLE: One thing that really aggravates me about fandoms--ANY fandom--is the pointless quest to milk every relationship between two characters--be it respectful, hostile, protective, or parasitic--for sexual tension.  

>Giving a shit about fandoms
Well there's your problem.
I don't get this desire to network with other people that share similar interests.
I hate other fans of Warhammer and Final Fantasy. I cannot think of people I'd rather be around less than the people that share my hobbies.
Warhammer fans in particular are annoying.
They miss the point of it entirely.
How can you be interested in something for decades and miss the message they've carefully constructed and told you literally hundreds of times in various forms?
Warhammer is a multimedia empire that spans across books, boardgames, video games, movies, audio dramas and comic books and it has maybe 15 messages total.
How can you not know all 15?
THE ULTIMATE FUTILITY OF STRUGGLE
THE DAMNATION OF MANKIND AND THE FORGOTTEN GOLDEN AGE
SOCIETY'S TENDENCY TO REGRESS TO NIHILISM
HOW CAN YOU MISS THIS SHIT?

NATALIE: Total truth. You see it in every single fandom in existence, though. Now, I will be the first to say there are a few shows out there that absolutely play with their slash audience, totally intentionally and are blatantly feeding them--but not every relationship that is deep translates to a sexual relationship, IMO. And I think a lot of members of fandoms are really screwing their own heads reading them that way. Is that what you think love looks like? Really?

That's why Warhammer will be safe from fanfiction writers and women in general at least until Games Workshop changes hands.
It is probably the least romantic fictional universe ever.
I remember thinking it was shocking and out of place in Helsreach when a character admitted he had feelings for another one.
Note they were never in a scene together and she died by the end of the book.

DANIELLE: Could not have said it better. Seriously. Yes, there are characters that lend themselves to ships and slashing. Kimber and Stormer from Jem!, my girl-girl OTP,

Meanwhile in Warhammer this is the kind of dialogue you're dealin' with:
"WE ARE CURIOUS," came a mighty anguished thought which itself transcended time. "WE HAVE FOLLOWED YOUR INTRUSION INTO OUR SANCTUARY, OUR ANTRUM AND ADYTUM.

"My lord." Jaq sank to his knees. "I beg to report to you before I am destroyed. I may have uncovered a major conspiracy-"

"THEN WE WILL STRIP YOUR SOUL BARE. RELAX, MORTAL MAN, OR YOU WILL SURELY DIE IN SUCH PAIN AS WE ALWAYS ENDURE."
 Emperor of Man is so hardcore he can only be properly represented through CAPSLOCK.
It's seriously one of the greatest scenes in science fiction.

NATALIE: Never, ever, EVER got Harry/Draco. Likewise with Harry/Snape. There was definitely more to their relationship, but it sure as hell wasn't sexual. Makes no sense to me. I love the derivative nature of fanfic and I think it's brilliant as a social experiment and a growing art form. 

Art form.
"PERHAPS IN A PART OF US, SINCE THE HYDRA PROMISES A PATH?"

"SURELY A MALEVOLENT PATH; FOR HOW COULD HUMANITY EVER FREE ITSELF?"

"THEN WE MUST BE MALEVOLENT TOO. FOR WE HAVE EXPELLED OUR SENTIMENTALITY LONG AGO. HOW ELSE COULD WE HAVE ENDURED? HOW ELSE COULD WE HAVE IMPOSED OUR RULE?"

"YET BY VIRTUE OF THAT WE ARE PURE AND UNCONTAMINATED BY WEAKNESS. WE ARE GRIM SALVATION."

"NOTHING THAT SAFEGUARDS HUMANITY CAN BE EVIL, NOT EVEN THE MOST STRENUOUS INHUMANITY. IF THE HUMAN RACE FAILS IT HAS FAILED FOREVER."

"WHEN WE CONFRONTED THE CORRUPTED, HOMICIDAL HORUS WHO ONCE USED TO SHINE LIKE THE BRIGHTEST STAR, WHO USED TO BE OUR BELOVED FAVOURITE - WHEN THE FATE OF THE GALAXY HUNG BY A THREAD - WERE WE NOT COMPELLED TO EXPEL ALL COMPASSION? ALL LOVE? ALL JOY? THOSE WENT AWAY. HOW ELSE COULD WE HAVE ARMOURED OURSELVES? EXISTENCE IS TORMENT, A TORMENT THAT MUST NOURISH US. EVIDENTLY WE MUST STRIVE TO BE THE FIERCE REDEEMER OF MAN, YET WHAT WILL REDEEM US?"

"Great Lord of All, did you know of the Hydra before now?" Jaq asks.

"YET SURELY WE KNEW. HOW COULD WE NOT KNOW?"

"ONCE WE HAVE ANALYSED THE INFORMATION WITHIN THIS SUB-MIND OF OURS."

"HEAR THIS, JAQ DRACO: ONLY TINY PORTIONS OF US CAN HEED YOU, OTHERWISE WE NEGLECT OUR IMPERIUM, OF WHICH OUR SCRUTINY MUST NOT FALTER FOR AN INSTANT. FOR TIME DOES NOT HALT EVERYWHERE WITHIN THE REALM OF MAN. INDEED TIME ONLY HALTS FOR YOU."
When fanfiction produces dialogue of this caliber we'll talk.

Brain, I love you. No, really. We've had our battles: you're really good at sabotaging my sleep and really bad at navigating writer's block. And I know that you and my heart can only communicate through a neutral mediator. But--since the subject of movie scores came up yesterday--if I could dedicate a song to you right now, it would be the Superman theme. Just because you're such a superior model to the majority of others I encounter day after day after night after day, I'm half-convinced you're some kind of mutation. If so, I worship the gamma rays or toxic waste that came in contact with you.

Wow.
There it is.
The ubermensch.
This bint.
This is what the Nazis were working for.

TODAY'S EPIPHANY: My specific style of humour is pretty much useless. Otherwise, I wouldn't be the only one laughing.

And yeah, this has damaged my ego a little bit. There, I said it.

AKA "I'm not funny" .
Also this woman is American.
Just spellin' shit the British way because.
Because fuck you I'm going to be affected.

To Whomever it May Concern:

So no one--

Maybe the USA will become a theocracy.

2007 called.
It was looking for its buzzwords and irrational fears.
This woman is 34, incidentally.
Anyway my willpower is fading fast.
Hopefully Friday I'll be normal.

Special Plague Update

Meant to update Monday but you know.
Flu and all.
I got a flu shot then still got the flu.
So much for immunization, eh motherfuckers?
I even read the vaccine was spot on this year.
WELL HERE'S ME AS LIVING PROOF YOU WERE A BIT OFF.
Maybe it mutated in me specifically.
I feel bad, too, because I started this 2 month job at a middle school a week and a half ago and already I've had to take a week off because I was dry heaving for 5 minutes yesterday.
Whatashame.
Anyway this blog is dark gray font on a black background.
Also it's like size .5 font.
Having it easy to read for my readers?
Psh no fuck you.
I'm sure half of you are in the habit of not clicking on the blogs (I can't blame you) but before we carry on you must at least look at what I'm suffering through (with the flu, mind) to entertain you today.
First, though, the entry from ONTD_P I found this bullshit from:

Coach suspended for 10 days after anti-gay rant

Coaches are always a little odd.

Fuck this guy and fuck the coach and fuck the school and fuck football and fuck Alabama. Seriously. That isn't misspeaking. That's being a racist, bigoted douchenugget.

All right his comments were (I assume, I can't read the original entry) bigoted but I don't know that they were inherently racist.
He did say some shit about Michelle Obama but maybe he just didn't like her as a person, or something--
you can dislike a black person for reasons other than their race, you know--
Anyway on to this crappy blog:

In which I'm exaggerating. I'm not hating on Christmas as hardcore right now, even if I still have way too many presents to finish. 8| One fish hat is almost done, though, so there's a good point.

Also, I got to go see The Hobbit at the midnight premier here. It was kind of awesome, because Mike decided to spring for 3D tickets, which ended up being an excellent choice. There was one other guy in the whole 3D showing (everyone else was cheap and went to the regular one lol)

Movie sucked. Live with it.

One of my main characters, Ainsley, got poisoned by a silver arrow (he's a werewolf), and for some reason in my own twisted mind, the poison of silver works unreasonably fast. Now he's dying and I don't know how to save him because the token healer of the group is also a werewolf.

And to top it off, Rinda, my half-elf, has just started to come to terms she might be ~in love~ with Ainsley.

I need a way to save his fuzzy butt pronto. And I am fresh out of brain power.

Wow that sounds awful.
Seriously stop writing.
I can't even begin to tell you how stupid "silver poisoning" sounds.
Silver is magic or some shit. If it hits the undead or a werewolf they burn. It's not poison.
If you want it to be poison that's stupid and you should feel bad.

Just a little miff I have with some people that follow this-is-not-native on Tumblr. Let me say first and foremost, I do identify heavily with both sides of my heritage. But because of my physical features, I mostly resemble the Cherokee side, 

I skipped the post where she said this because it was stupid but earlier she asserted she was related to Mary, Queen of Scots.
I checked and it's technically possible as Mary did have children (I've talked to people who claimed to be descended from Anne Boleyn, whose only child to survive infancy, Elizabeth I, was called the virgin queen for a reason) and yet being related to Mary on one side and the other half is Cherokee strikes me very much as trying to fit in with the regal, posh, Anglophile side of Livejournal that loves Dr. Who and that shitty Sherlock Holmes serial on the BBC on one side and trying to be an empowered POC womyn on the other.
In conclusion I'm almost certain you're full of shit.
That is something I learned in one of my pussy sensitivity classes and that's literally 90% of people that claim Native American heritage are either lying or are mistaken.

and I tend to speak out quite a bit about cultural appropriation from the Native Americans, because we have been so downtrodden in this country's history. (Don't get me wrong, I don't in any way hate this country. I just think NA rights are sometimes overlooked, and our lifestyles are sometimes glamourized when they're not.)

Not since the 1950s, no.
Once westerns moved to Spain and started being filmed by Italians not even westerns featured Indians.
No one gives a shit.

Anyway, some do-gooder submitted this to TINN, and...Really? Have you never seen a pup tent before? Because that is what that symbol is. Not a teepee. It's a pup tent. You go camping in them, hence why it's the universal US symbol for campgrounds. I don't think we NA people invented camping, just saying.

Link removed because it no longer exists--
common problem when blogs linking blogs, as I think you'll find occurs in my archives--
I've been asked why I always say I removed the link.
The reason is because despite being a patriarchal, imperialist white male pig I am in fact vehemently opposed to censorship, unlike every liberal blogger ever so I always feel fit to warn you in case you really care and want to check it out.
But in this case I wouldn't because it just 404s.
Also "we NA people" is kinda bullshit. Unless you live on a reservation then you should probably shut up.
You're probably like 1/32 Indian at best, assuming you even are, which I doubt.
Your claims to being Indian are probably more specious than my claims to being Roman is what I'm trying to say.
Also while Native Americans might not have invented camping Native Americans (broadly speaking) as a group seemed to stick with camping as a basis for civilization for about 2000 years longer than most everyone else did so I guess most people just considered you guys the experts on the topic.

Here's hoping Mike's superduper strong Army man coffee has done what it's supposed to. :3 Especially since he's gone off into the woods deer hunting (He hunts for meat, not sport, yay. Also, mmm, deer sausage. Om nom nom. Just sayin'.).

That's good he hunts for meat and not for sport because there isn't much sporting about shooting a deer.
Have you seen those things?
The only sporting creatures to hunt are bears (assuming you use a bow or a knife), crocodiles (blight on the earth) hippos (you can use guns for these also) other than that you're a pussy.
 And I've hit the start of this blog.
That's handy because I'm not sure my delicate constitution could take much more of this abuse.