Shaking off Ebola

Came down with Ebola, but I'll try to work through it. I think it's due to the proximity of some bros in my biology class. Their steroid-ridden retard germs infected my delicate system.
Also I tried to update Wednesday but since that was the third day of school (and therefore the first real day of instruction) it was constant MY CLASSES SUCK EVERYONE HATES ME drama that no one cares about. Also I didn't feel like doing it, so deal.
So today's fuckstick is here.
Today (August 28)'s entry is entitled "Karma? MAYBE!" Or, no, wait, excuse me, "MAY BE" two words. Spell check, people.
First thing I said to myself: "bet it's not actually karma" and I was right.
People: karma, contrary to what the John Lennon song told you, is not instant. So your friend Chuck was nice to some people and won 250 dollars. THESE EVENTS ARE UNRELATED TO EACH OTHER.
See, like all religions, they needed a hook to get people to act right, because goddamn they knew they weren't going to do it without some sort of childish reward/punishment system, so they devised karma. Instead of a vague threat of heaven or hell, it's more like a banking account.
Not directly, though. It's not like good karma makes up for bad karma, or bad karma subtracts from your overall net. It's more like a list of good deeds and bad deeds that weigh against each other.
THERE EVERYONE WILL USE THIS TERM CORRECTLY NOW I'M SURE.

Charlie called to wish his mom happy birthday today, and she started in on him complaining about the card I bought- it didn't say "Mother" on it- and then proceeded to criticize the gifts I sent them {we didn't get ANY- I never do, Charlie got a broken dollar store necklace in a card this year} saying I had sent them a bunch of crap. WHAAA???
I made an honest effort and I'm ridiculed for it?? I sent her a lovely cookbook- "Vegetable Dishes I Can't Live Without", a cute little set of Autumn vegetable candles in a wicker basket, a little perfume set, and a cloth-bound writing journal with a matching address book.
Yeah, not earth-shattering, but hey, we're broke too.
I sent her husband a new GE caller-ID telephone.
I have no idea what I did wrong.
This hurts me so badly- especially the way she is yelling at her son and making him cry.

She then went on to bitch and complain about how we can go on all of these vacations {um...helloooo??? I WON those- we TOLD you that}

This is one of those times in life when you do something good and nice and are all happy about it, and then get one of those "virtual slaps in the face" kinda deals.

I am hurting SO badly :(

Guess who's not getting a GODDAMN thing for Christmas???

Lesson on adverbs. I'll keep this simple so even someone like you can appreciate it. Should a word end in "-ly" no qualitative adjective (good, bad, etc) may modify it. This goes for quantitative adjectives too, (so, in your case).
That's not to say there are adjectives that can modify adverbs (there aren't), but that covers the ones you'd use, realistically.
That's it. I don't care about your personal problems.

Definition of obscene: John McCain owning SEVEN fucking houses. SEVEN!!
Way to be a total greedy-ass Republican prick.

Bet if you had that much money you'd own seven houses too. Further, and I've said this so many times it's beginning to lose meaning, make sure you're actually focusing on his qualities as a president. I know in the deem recesses of your vacuous brain his financial situation seems related, but it most likely isn't.
BUT HOW CAN HE UNDERSTAND THE WORKING MAN'S PLIGHT? You say.
Reality check: no president is going to be poor. It won't happen. Pick your favorite rich, greedy fuck and be thankful you don't have real problems to worry about.

Hubby and son subjecting me to the Olympics, which I have TRIED to remain ignorant about.

You could leave the room. Unless they tied you down and are forcing you to watch, no one is making you.

Walmart. I wish there was a good alternative. Srsly. Every time I go there, I get pissed off by something. Today the Cow of a cashier with an IQ of around 20[...]

You two have a lot in common. Don't lie. I've seen pictures.

Worrisome evening last night- had to take a Xanax, and still ended up staying up until after 4 a.m.

Take it with a chaser of rum. It'll work better.

Had a lovely time with exception to the obvious airport and flying crap. They DO make it such a pain to travel!
American Airlines lost my husband's suitcase- I have no idea how, since they were checked in together. We had to stay over a good 45 minutes after landing trying to find it, and then ultimately trying to find someone to help us file a claim. This is where AA drops the ball BIGTIME. If you are flying in after hours and your luggage is lost, you're pretty much screwed.
After finally locating someone to tell us what to do, he looked it up in their computer and said it was STILL in Tucson, probably held up by Security.
"Yeah, those size 13 flip-flops are deadly" I told him.

He wasn't amused.

Oh you're so clever. I'm sure he doesn't hear that a thousand times an hour.

Daughter sent me a message on our sweeps forums board today and told me they had torn down my old grade school- it's a shame they let it sit dormant for so long and didn't utilize it or keep it up. It was a perfectly good building. Now I feel all gloomy about it :(
Alot of things happened in that building- crushes, drama, I learned long division, got my first kiss from my grade school sweetheart, David Hrab, in the broom closet, the smell of new pencils and books, humiliating gym classes...
I hate change.

Know what I learned in elementary school? "A LOT" IS TWO WORDS YOU FUCKING IDIOT.
Jesus Christ you're a grown up with kids and bills and you can't even muster enough intelligence to know something so trivial even a third grader could tell you?

Haven't been on much- my anxiety disorders have been flaring up badly, and I've also been engrossed in Stephen King's "From a Buick 8", which I finished this morning and promptly started on "The Ruins" by Scott Smith. It's on Mr. King's top ten favorite list, so it MUST be awesome!

I knew I didn't like you. Anyone who takes Stephen King seriously is a twat. Also just what I want to do when I have an anxiety disorder. Engross myself in poorly-written, stereotypical hack horror.

Trav's doctor co-pays JUST THIS WEEK- $160
Trav's meds- $55
Toy and snacks specifically for him this week {since we go NOWHERE} $27
Not to mention the ongoing utilities and food crisis of a 14-year old walking garbage disposal.

Total donated from stupid-ass ex- $0.

Big. Fat. Zero.
Fucker.

Yeah kids cost money or something.
What kind of medication does he take? Is it ADD? I bet it's ADD. You could take him off that and try, I'm not sure, paying attention to him?

Between the doctor copays and the greedy fuelmongers, we'll lose weight on the "We can't fucking afford to EAT" diet. {funny, because I've dropped 3 pounds, Chuck dropped 4, Travis dropped 7.}

All three of you will live. Don't get excited.

Apparently, you can grow them in square containers and they take the shape of said container.
Fascinating.

This is in reference to watermelons they grow in Japan.
Also yes they can. Welcome to twelve years ago.

They also did his cleaning, so it seemed to take forever, during which I almost had my head implode from the gossipy, giggly receptionist and assistant.
Aren't you supposed to outgrow that in ninth grade?

Uhh... No? What else would you do all day? Besides make irrelevant posts on LiveJournal, oh ho.

Apparently this is a common thing and I just missed it

Or maybe I'm just crazy lucky (subjectively of course) when it comes to finding these fucking things.
How many anorexia-based blogs are there? I would have said one, and I have already found it, but apparently they're common enough to find two different ones completely by chance.

so i havent posted ina couple days
ive been really busy
im in charge of parts of our sorority recruitment
so ive been bustin ass
my sorority sisters and i we did a circle of trust
where we tell everyone something difficult
and it brings us all closer
4 girls admitted to eating disorders
i wasnt shocked that they had EDs
i was shocked however that they admitted it
im not about to say a word to anyone
sorry

Err, except to the internet, which isn't nearly as anonymous as you'd believe.
Also I'd like to mention that most of these girls aren't grotesquely thin. Most hang around the low to mid 120s. Apparently any thought given to weight loss is now "anorexic". I'd believe it, too, looking around campus today. Good Christ, people. You can skip a meal once. It won't hurt you.

girls,

I don't know... if it's better to eat an apple, or white bio yoghurt with dried raisins???
And, do you have any experiences with fruit and vegetable juices? we bought new sapper- so I wanna know, which juice is the best for getting thinner- cause... that's realy my only one interrest :)

You can have both. Both, I'd say, would constitute a nice, light breakfast. Then some sort of juice.
Then someone responds with this:

yepp, apple. almost always rule fruit over anything else. and for fruit/veggie juices? V8 juice is awesome!

V8 juice. Everyone familiar with that fine product?

Ok thanks, :))) what it's in the weight juice? can I make it, or I have to buy it...?

By "weight juice" I assume she means the V8. WHAT FUCKING PLANET DO YOU LIVE ON WHERE YOU ARE UNAWARE OF V-FUCKING-8? I SEE ADS ON TV, ADS IN NEWSPAPERS, THEN I CONSTANTLY SEE IT IN THE STORE.
Initially I thought "well maybe she doesn't live in an industrialized nation" but then I said "IF SHE FUCKING DIDN'T SHE'D BE WORRIED ABOUT MORE IMPORTANT THINGS." Then I got angry at myself for permitting twattery in any form, no matter how small.
By the way, just so everyone knows nothing escapes my wit, the obvious answer is "because she has her head so far up her ass she can't see anything else."
I like this one more because instead of just calorie counting it also has really girly, emo poetry.
This poem in particular is hilarious because it expresses contradictory thoughts and emotions, often back to back.

ive always been the fat girl.
ive always been the one in the background that no one notices
ive been the one blocking all the skinny people

So you were in the back and no one noticed you, but you also blocked all the skinny people?
So let me set up a situation where this event could exist. It's the beautiful, popular skinny girls, then ugly fat you, and you have your back to the wall, but then hiding inside the wall is ninjas or assassins or some shit.

ive never had thoughts of Ana/Mia cause i was so fucking greedy
ive never been noticed
i was scared to use a scale
i couldnt bare looking at myself in the mirror
ive always been told to stop eating
ive never came near perfect.

So you weren't anorexic because you were greedy?
I, because I'm an awesome space marine and shit, would argue they're BOTH greedy. One is gluttony, the other one IS ALSO FUCKING GLUTTONY. EVER HEARD OF A "GLUTTON FOR PAIN"? I'm going to be brutally honest here (as opposed to how I usually am) and say this: no one cares if you have the cupcake or not.
No one does.
Seriously. Eat it or don't. Believe me, I have you set up in such a lose-lose situation I get to make fun of you regardless, so whatever.

im losing weight.
so how come im in the spotlight?
how come i cant stop weighing myself?
how come i spend countless hours infront of the mirror?
how come i cant stop pinching all the fat on my body?
how come i cant stop shoving all those pills down my throat?
how come i cant stop purging after anything touches my lips?
how come im always noticed?
how come i cant bare the site of food?
how come people are forcing me to eat?
so how come they claim im good just the way i am?

Because you're a shallow cunt? I don't know. Will this be on the test?
Also, unless someone is actually shoving food into your fat face or holding a gun to your head and making you eat no one is forcing you to do anything.
Now this poem takes an odd and unexpected left turn and becomes a love poem.

my feelings are getting stronger.
i cant live without you
everytime i wake up, you're on my mind
im addicted to you & i dont want it to stop
everywhere i go, you are with me
you make me happy & you make me afraid
you let me live in the moment like its my last day alive
you are part of me, always

Nice. Definitely not cliched or trite or any other mean word I can think of.
... Huh. This blog ALSO does that thing where the background is white and the food is white so you have to highlight to read it.
... Is this the same blog?

i just got back from running errands, and my mom finally got my a scale. but it wasn't that easy to get there. she kept questioning me in the store, telling me i don't need to worry about my weight and how i don't need one. i just kept telling her i do, so finally she gave in. today has been alright with the eating. i've been picking a lot, but even that adds up. this morning i had an apple and like 5 crackers. then i had lots of diet coke. then my sister was having some baked doritos so of course i had some of those. not to many though. then i packed my mom and my sister a sandwich and told them i would eat when i got home since the only thing i could have would be a PB and J...

Instead of thinking about food and weight and yourself constantly, you should read a book. A grammar book ideally, but we'll start small.
Every time you have obsessive weight or "me" thoughts, channel them into the acquisition of knowledge. They'll be calling you a savant (and not the idiot persuasion this time!) in no time.

Hey everyone...I am posting all my stats and everything (like my cal intake) on my journal so you can check it out there.

Thanks I've been wondering.
In fact I'm going to do what no one else here has done. I'm actually going to look at her stats.
Hopefully it's like Pokemon and she'll have a high attack stat or something, so then I can say "she'd make a good sweeper."

Ok, so it's 1:16 pm here in Jersey and I officially haven't eaten anything which is good. Basically, I just woke up which is why I haven't eaten but that's an awesome thing because when I first wake up I can never eat. BUT THEN i walk out into my kitchen and there is a HUGE bowl of pasta with awesome sauce sitting on my stove. I wanted it so bad but then I just turned out of the kitchen and walked away. Which is pretty cool I guess.

Maybe it's because I'm a huge nerd but anything qualified with "pretty cool" usually starts with "my chaplain just totally destroyed that carnifex holy shit."

so i am addicted to working out. Which would be ideal, however i am addicted to food in many ways as well. It has a strong power over me.
ugh. I also love the feeling of being pure. Just me. No food.

Yeah food has a strange power over me as well. If I don't eat it I'll die.
Also you're never "just you" because there are colonies of bacteria living in your stomach and bowels that exist in symbiosis with your body (look up that word I'm not here to teach you goddamn) so enjoy thinking you're filled with white light and cupcakes or whatever it is girls think. Meanwhile I know the truth.

I wanna cry. I have been working so hard to get down below 115 and i finaly did it, then i lost it because my roomie had a birthday dinner yesterday at Hooters and i had 10 wings. I ate way to much.. Now i cant get down again. ahhh i want to cry right now. I ran 4 miles this after noon and got on the scale a few min ago and gained 3 lbs. What the crap. How did i fing gain i was sweating like a pig how did i gain. ahhh i dont want to eat for weeks.. someone tell me some good excersises that will burn a ton of cals...

Her location is listed as "her cell without walls" aww, poor little anorexic girl. Her life finally had purpose when she was under 115 pounds.
Wait what is this music?
WHY CAN'T I TURN IT OFF?
THIS ISN'T ANYTHING I LISTEN TO
WHO IS THIS WHINY FAGGOT SCREAMING AT ME?
You cunts. THIS IS YOUR DOING.
If you think this will scare me off...

as some of you know from my previous post today i'm sick
i can't take two bites of anything without my insides feeling like a hand is in there grabbing and twisting them. ugh. it's good and bad i guess
but what does my darling best friend think is a good idea for a person with the flu? let's go out to eat... to denny's. Seriously?

Yeah. Surprisingly, the world doesn't revolve around you, so if you don't feel like eating out, that doesn't mean no one does.

what he doesn't realize is that it's ana and i don't want to eat. he continued and said "i know you don't have an eating disorder but i think you are at a higher risk. so just be careful" i honestly just wanted to cry. I wanted to tell him everything, but I'm not ready. But the fact is, he gets it. When I am ready, he'll be listening and not angry like everyone else in my life would be. He won't think I'm weak.

That's okay I think you're weak. Pathetic, too.

ok so i binged at lunch and had a bagel, like 15 crackers with dip and like 7 cookies. i wanted to purge soooo badly but i'm trying to stop bc its like really super bad for you.

If I were to teach a speech class, and someone asked me "what should I avoid doing?" I'd say "pretty much this."

So I am sure this world HATES me.

If the world did hate you, the best thing it could do is ignore you. You couldn't fucking take it.

I watched the Degrassi episodes where Emma is anorexic and it is like so easy for her to go into recovery and that bugs me.

That's because Emma's a character on a TV show you dumb whore.
Goddamn this screaming music is really getting to me.
All right that's it. It goes on and on and on but I can only take so many "EVERYONE HATES ME CAN'T EAT OM NOM NOM NOM I PUKED IT BACK UP" entries.
This is the last entry about anorexia I'm making. This is bullshit.

Wackies

If you're around my age you probably remember all the Lifetime movies you had to watch in high school health class (because they'd be goddamned if an entire day would pass without a movie) about anorexia. The one my class had to watch starred an aging Wonder Woman and some bimbo. I have a sneaking suspicion there's an entire closet filled with similar-but-slightly-different movies.
While Wonder Woman went on to voice all of the women in Morrowind and Oblivion (fine video games, a bit of an acquired taste) and the bimbo went of to do... Whatever it is she did, time moved on.
I think Lifetime should revisit the anorexia theme, though. It would be an easy story. Newly-divorced mother takes daughter to new town (San Francisco, that way you wouldn't have to pay extra for not filming on location) and she has trouble adjusting until she finds a website just like this.
You mean she can be thin and beautiful? THEN SHE'D BE THE MOST POPULAR GIRL IN SCHOOL AND THAT HUNK OF A STAR QUARTERBACK WILL ASK HER TO THE PROM AND NOT THAT SKANK DEBBY!
Seriously this website reads like every Lifetime movie watchers' nightmare. Apparently these girls, when they're told that perhaps taking in large quantities of food then sticking a feather down their throat and purging it all back up might not be the healthiest decision ever take to the internet to share their woes.
Also purging secrets.
A recurring theme here is beautiful women as their avatars. I guess if you purge enough you, too, can look like Audrey Hepburn. Not likely, but hey whatever.
So here we go:
on another note...

intake:
jello = 10
Yogurt =25
Chocolate = 35
SOFTICECREAM=300
OTHer shit = 50
Broth =10


=430

outtake =
6k biking = -200

total = 230.
meh.
i was gonna binge cuz of my hair
but then the scale said 141
so i was grateful.

141? You're doing it wrong.

I'm sorry I'm posting so much. I was just wondering how everyone else's parents react to their eating habits. My mom is so proud that I've lost so much weight and recently she seems to be looking disappointed whenever she sees me eating. It could just be all in my mind but I feel like she wants me to be even thinner. My step-dad gets upset when I don't eat but my mom always defends me. Does anyone else have similar parents or are mine weird?

You're projecting. You personally are disappointed in your weight, but since the world MUST REVOLVE AROUND YOU you project that onto your poor mother.

One more thing. I generally don't let myself have more than 300 calories on a normal day. Sometimes I let myself have 500 but not usually. I've read that only eating that much can actually stop weight loss. Is that true? How much do you guys usually take in? I don't think I could eat more than 500 calories without slipping into a binge or making myself sick (like just sick, not purging) but I just want to know the facts about it.

Well, you see, when you're starving to death your body converts anything it gets into fat to prevent, uhh what was it... Oh that's right. Death.

Every now and then I try to be normal. I try to forget my E.D. and just eat like everyone else. As soon as the food reaches my stomach I feel sick. I had my first real meal in weeks a few hours ago and now I'm so bloated that I look 4 months pregnant. It hurts so badly. I never want to eat again, it's just not for me. I want to be clean and simple and thin. I can't stand this. I hate the way I think and act and am. I'm trying so hard to be positive. I'm trying not to take laxatives but I feel like I need them. Tomorrow I'm starting a 3 day fast. I'm not weighing myself until I'm done.

Yeah damn the eating elite.
Also the reason that happened is because your gut flora and fauna are so fucked up from the flood of laxatives and purging your body doesn't know what the fuck. It should go without saying but only eating 200 calories a day and not even letting those digest properly isn't healthy.
Also I like the line "I never want to eat again, it's just not for me." Like it's a hobby or something. WELL I TRIED THAT KICK BOXING CLASS, BUT IT WASN'T FOR ME.
One thing that my blog layout may render not-obvious is the color choice of this blog. It's a white background and all food is in white, making it appear as if it's invisible. You have to highlight to see the food.
I guess they're trying to make the food "go away" because they don't want to eat it. Or eating isn't for them.
Whatever.
One thing I've noticed is while most people might plan their day around some sort of events or set of events, like going to school or work, these stable ladies plan their days exclusively around food.
Even normally enjoyable events are often overshadowed by food, like this one girl who mentions in passing going to her boyfriend's house. What she focused on was not what should have been an enjoyable (albeit boring for me thanks for not droning on about it) event, but instead the fact that she had to eat pizza.
Maybe that's why they have to binge. They're like Pacman: any food they encounter THEY MUST EAT.
Next is a multicolor resolve to not eat all day.
Which isn't hard. Shit I could do that standing on my head.

i really really hope i can do it!! i have the willpower to control it, but i am going out tonight and tomorrow night so i hope nobody forces me to eat.

To me, "willpower" would be the power to control these obsessive thoughts plaguing every waking minute of your day, but maybe that's why I'm not crazy.

I met this guy and he's super hot and I'm totally into him, but he's so skinny! Honestly. I weigh 123 and he weighs 130.

Apparently, she wants to "get" skinny for him. Which, honestly, depending on her height she could stand to lose a couple pounds.
What? It might be true.

I fast and only eat low amounts of calories. My legs are HUGE and MUSCULAR because of soccer.

Anyway, I wanna be skinny for him (please don't tell me it's wrong I just wanna do it)

DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS?

Ha, ha, ha you have fat legs. EASY ON THE CUPCAKES.
Sorry. Isn't that good therapy for anorexics? Give them conflicting signals about their weight constantly?
YOU'RE SO SKINNY! EAT SOMETHING!
WHOA EASY THERE, MOBY!
I'm pioneering a new form of therapy.

i won't let this get me down,
i will be beautiful.

Time to root yourself in reality. Even if you waste away to nothing it still wouldn't make the unfortunate structure of your face better.
OHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT.
Me: 1
girls with no self esteem: 0
They just got DESTROYED.

Quickest way to loose 20 pounds in less than 2 month possiblee right?? how?

Take an English class.
What? It's not like you'd know. It's true. Trust me.

Today has been okay so far, but I can never tell how it will end. I tried to stay in bed as long as possible so it's about 1:30PM now and I've only had water.

So you don't eat, and to ignore the hunger pains, or to avoid trying to eat or whatever you stay in bed forever.
Seeeeeeeeeeeeems healthy.

I'm suddenly worried my mom might say she thinks I have an eating disorder. I don't know why I'm suddenly worried about it since I never was before, but I'm really, really nervous now.

Because it's the truth?
Well this is shocking. A MAN, ON THE ANOREXIA BOARD? Every 1 in 1000 cases of breast cancer affect men, so I'm sure it happens here as well.

I don't lose weight so I get people's attention.

You're lying. You're just upset everyone isn't showering you with praise.

I do it to make myself feel happy and accomplished.

What a pointless accomplishment. So you wasted away to nothing. What did that gain you? With all that wasted effort and torment you could actually have something to show for it by now.
Let's say it isn't even the most useful skill you put it towards. Let's compare it to something I do, for sake of fairness: let's say you put the same amount of effort into painting these little Warhammer figures.
I BET YOU'D BE BETTER THAN ME BY NOW. YOU COULD HAVE TROPHIES TO SHOW FOR IT.

not excited to start college?

The only thing I like about school is that I don't have time to eat.

Maybe you're taking harder classes than I, or maybe your schedule is filled with enriching activities (doubt it) while I spend my evenings saying mean things about strangers on the internet, but I have never been so busy with college that I had no time to eat.
Even at my absolute busiest with college, and that involved a math class, calculus no less, I still ate at least twice a day.

stiiiill hungey, 2 hours ti i lveave for work, 9 til bed, 6 til the gir goes to bed,i can just lay onthe couch with headphone on after she goes to bed, i will stay strong,beenon edge for 4 hours

I bet I could roll my face around the keyboard and come up with more coherent sentences than this.
To prove this wasn't just an off post either, here's one of her comments:

my calroie counter ,com, its amazing, u can put ur nimimun daily intake as low as you want!!

"nimimun"? What are you, two? I bet even I didn't bungle words that hard when I was a toddler.
Seriously with all this wasted thought on food you could have at least been coherent at English by now.

My roommate, Ana moved in today. She's so petite. And she's got great collarbones.

Hmm maybe I have odd taste in women, but one thing I certainly wouldn't think to look for is "great collarbones". Unless I turn into a vampire or something, then that is relatively close to the neck so that may be a pleasing feature.
All right that's all I have. It goes back and back forever, but it's starting to repeat itself a lot so whatever.

LITFAGS.

Litfags are curious creatures. Always going on about some... Thing.
There are a few garden varieties of litfag, as well as a few that occur only in the wilds and haven't yet taken to domestication. Many scientists theorize this is due to the common pesticides employed by local farmers.
Here is today's specimen.
There are those who are almost fanatically devoted to literature, those who can't do anything else so they do that, and those who do it because it makes their balls feel big.
Then there's this guy. This guy, I think, is one of those who haven't yet been domesticated. This is the writing litfag. HE HAS A WORKING KNOWLEDGE OF LITERATURE AND HE MAKES MONEY SELLING STORIES. Also he'll remind you constantly that he's selling shit.
Of course when he posts how much he gets for it you no longer feel envious because it's something like two pence on the word (yeah he's British).

well today it suddenly clicked in my head, that people who dislike me (or are jealous of me (wink wink)) refer to me as 'weird', and people who like me call me 'eccentric', and I've never been called 'normal.'

I'd call you an asshole. How do I think of you?

So I didn't spend my weekend planning my dissertation as planned. I drank a bottle of wine the night before, tried to go to salsa which wasn't open, and woke up late today as a result. The Writers Guild this evening was good, although only three of us turned up this time.
On the contrary, many of the greatest dissertations were written after missing salsa after a bottle of wine.

Also it's worth noting I'd never join any guild ever unless the words "World of Warcraft" appear before it. Seriously people, it's 2008. Guilds are an outdated, dark age institution. Time to get a new word.
I don't even play World of Warcraft anymore. Time to update that gag.
Wednesday, August 13 has a post about a scary dream. It's as long as all of my entires put together, though. For a writer he certainly doesn't know how to edit his thoughts.

(This is the second time I've had a dream about someone eating dead birds.)

Wonder what that means.
Anyway this goes on and on, but there seems to be an oedopian motif running through the whole thing that's kind of creepy.

I am finding this environment absolutely impossible to work in. This evening I set myself the task of proof reading my whole novella so that I can begin the research for my commentary tomorrow.

Maybe he actually doesn't have everything turn out perfectly the first time he writer something, but I never proofread. Fuck it. It takes me fifteen seconds to proofread something. It goes like this:
THIS IS THE GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT IN WRITING SINCE STEPHEN KING INVENTED A MONEY MAKING MACHINE.
That's it.
He spends aproximately three paragraphs bitching about the "noise" pollution and how he couldn't finish proofreading because of it. One might wonder how he found enough mental clarity to post that instead of just, I don't know, skimming a few pages?
But whatever. Also he lists his current music choice as "(I'm Always Touched By Your) Presence Dear - Blondie". I'm not too familiar with Blondie music, mostly because I have ears located somewhere on my head, but it seems to me if you're going to bitch about "rubbish college rock at full blast" you should make damn sure you're listening to something good.
Like right now I'm listening to George Harrison. IS ANYONE HERE GOING TO ARGUE WITH A BEATLE?
I THOUGHT NOT.
This may have been very well avoided by saying "but I have a bizarre taste in music so my opinion doesn't really apply to anything on earth because I am driven by a cold, alien logic unknown to your species."
That's my usual excuse, anyway. I have to use it when I explain how I can have George Harrison next to Kajagoogoo on my playlist.

when I received a message on deadjournal concerning my ex. I won't post it here, because it contains information of a private and delicate nature, but from what I can gather, it was written by a jaded lover.

Don't worry, reader, as long as you are here you can be assured I will saying nothing interesting and instead post about the Writers "Guild" meeting number 79.
Many people may think that contradicts what I said yesterday about having class and not posting about shit like that, but he didn't really not post about it, did he (double negative)? He mentioned it, almost as if to rub it in our faces that he is interesting but when and how he is interesting is none of our business.

As for myself, I'm perfectly content to pass my days peacefully on my own, with a book (not Don Quixote) and a good period drama, with social drinking on weekends.

What's wrong with Don Quixote? Sure it does tend to drag a bit but at least it's not fucking MOBY DICK.
Or, God forbid, THE SCARLET LETTER.

and then if it's not too late, read some of the detestable 'Don Quixote.'

Maybe he read a different version than I did, but I thought it was all right.

Tomorrow a man is coming round to buy my PS2 for £50

You're losing out. Although you are in England, so enjoy playing Soccer (football, whatever you people call it) simulator MXVI and still no Persona 3: FES. I think it's coming out in October for you. At any rate enjoy the extra arbitrary six months tacked onto the development time.
Also Persona 3 is better than most books I've ever read.
That's right, I said it. The very medium that prides itself on literary achievement (books) fails to a video game, designed for entertainment. HOW DELICIOUSLY TRAGIC.
That's what you should be doing with your PS2 instead of getting drunk on that money (as cited later). If you were a real litfag you'd play that game.

I would read, but 'Don Quixote' is as boring as ever. I can't wait until I finish it and start my next book, 'The Odyssey.'

I'd get through Don Quixote as fast as possible, then. If there was a list of "greatest literary achievements in no particular order" it would read like this:

• The Odyssey/The Iliad
• Persona 3

But then again, my tastes rarely run alongside those of the masses.

Yeah you're so smart you can't enjoy that Dark Knight movie because it's for the peasantry.
I haven't seen it but it seems like no one can have a blog and not mention that movie at least twice. So here are my two references: The Joker, Batman.
There we go.

Some hours ago I wrote an extremely vile and disgusting DJ entry which I have since banished to the privacy vault for all eternity. Those unfortunate enough to have already read it will no doubt have formed a very negative opinion of myself by now. What I wrote was completely out of character, and I can not account for the reasons behind writing it in the first place.

Some people may read that and say "well that's good of him" but wait a minute. Instead of saying "I POSTED LIKE A HUMAN. I WAS ANGRY AND FUCK YOU." He said he fell "out of character".
Surely everyone plays a variety of characters in their personal lives. However, on the internet you should probably just post what you fucking think (sort of like how I do) instead of "playing a character".
If he is playing a character, as he suggests, that means he's TRYING TO BE THIS FUCKING BORING.
I hate to make a bid for people to be "more realistic" in their posting since people can only post how they think, but at least try to be more interesting.
Hell, lie of you have to. Lying, contrary to what they tell you in school, is a great way to keep social situations moving.

Victim of Insanity

That's the title of today's blog. Fitting, too, because reviewing these things I often do feel like I'm trapped in a mental institution.
Today's gal seems a little wacky and cries entirely too much, or so I thought.
But then as I read her horror story, either she's seriously nuts or something that I can only describe as FUCKING FRIGHTENING happened to her, and if it happened to me I'd never shut up about it.
So I'll see where this goes.
Hell let's just skip to that event immediately. Get it out of the way then judge her sanity from there.

So I take a shower. Get out, dry off. Next thing I know I'm bawling my eyes out because some almost microscopic worm thing is on my leg. White, 2 centimeters, red tail. I don't know if it came from the towel or my bloody pad. I can't stop crying and I'm currently scared shitless. I was shaking like hell a half hour ago but I did some worm research and got a few laughs out of some terrible pictures. Still crying. Going to let Hunter in and go to bed.

Oh, oh it was ON your leg. For some reason when I read that as in your leg the first time I read it.
Err get over it. Also get some antibiotics.
If the worm burrowed into your flesh like something from The Matrix or Aliens then I'd say you'd be right in posting about it. I don't know if any such worm exists, but there's all kinds of crazy shit in the jungle so who fucking knows.
Also thanks for sharing about your bloody maxi. Class act, you.

Anyway. I'm already on antibiotics for the enjoyable cunt staph infection so they were applied instead of going to see a doctor again.

"cunt staph infection"
One thing I'm glad I don't have is a vagina. They seem like a lot of trouble.
The most recent post is major tl;dr. I'll check. If it deals with multiple topics it may be doable in small bursts.

It's not that Ryan's influence wasn't negative.

Who is Ryan?
This goes on for too long with shit I don't care about.

That little poetry site. That amazing little thing.

Uh-oh.

It was the classic blah gothic black...and then, instead of some upside-down cross or disgusting little charm, it had a white flower.

I know where this is going please st--

thedyingswansings.org/blackrose

ಠ_ಠ
I guess it's shitty poetry time.
Oh fantastic she linked it wrong, or it's gone.

A site purely for the public, without forced contributions? And most of them couldn't write... I mean, my poems are nothing, but come on. You must be kidding.

No. That's the beauty of bad poetry: everyone is dead fucking serious about it.
Dead.
Fucking.
Serious.

It was supposed to be my final conversation. I wanted it with someone worthwhile. Someone who understood, had the ability to feel my soul as I craved so dearly.

"Feel my soul". That's what I never understand about these people. Do they mean see you for you, or see you for what you want to be (some damaged genius that no one understands but is unconditionally and universally adored by all)?
If it's the former then I know you.
If the latter then I still know you, and you're a cunt.

10 days from my period, 10 days after my period.

Bright silky blood versus my normal dark glumped period blood.

Errr that's not good. The reason menstruation blood is "dark glumped period blood" is because your body is purging other cells besides just blood. Having "bright silky blood" means you're bleeding. From your vagina.

And now I'm losing more than before. I'm going to guess that even if there's no infection, there's something wrong...

You seem really calm about this.
Holy shit then she just goes on with a regular post like nothing happened.
I guess there's a badass?
Maybe it's because guys don't bleed for a week and don't die on a monthly basis, but to me any blood coming from my genitals is pretty much an apocalyptic situation on par with "there's a board stuck in my head" and "I think someone just shot me."

We went to Taco Bell afterward.

FOUND IT! There's your diagnosis. Ate at the Taco Bell.
Next post is an explicit, and I mean explicit, description of a sexual encounter.

Well. He bought a motel room.

For $50.

The first time we met.

I'm a whore.
He also didn't make me cum...but he ended up cumming three times. Two from blowjobs I gave. Apparently I'm pretty damn good at figuring out what to do when I'm fucking up. He messed with me....in every possible position known to man, without fucking me, and with imaginative little ideas here and there. I just followed lead. I'm beginning to understand why human interaction is so well liked.

What possesses people to post this on the internet? This isn't private (obviously)

It wasn't the need of physical pleasure that lead me into being physical with him though. He was able to pick up on the simplest of emotions I felt and physically respond perfectly to them.

So on count of being a being a whore (self-admitted, not my words) you're also a stupid whore. Fantastic.

Oh, and he swallows his own cum

Know that face on the side of my page? My avatar? That's the face I'm making right now.
The whole I am God complex is a little weird. He also has no problem with sticking his finger up my ass. O_o It's weird, what feels good.
Whatever consenting adults do is none of my business, but it seems to me to be a little uncouth to be posting about it later. On the internet. For strangers to read.
Maybe that's what the kids do these days.
I hate to end here but I think I covered everything.
I don't get grossed out by anything (seriously I eat dinner while watching surgery shows) but if somone said "this was fucking disgusting" I could see their point.
Let's review what we know about this classy lady:

• what her menstruation blood looks like.
• her most recent sexual encounter in graphic detail.
• she has worms.
• her vagina bleeds on a near constant basis.

Today's lesson, ladies and gentlemen, is something I'm sure I've scolded people on before:
HAVE SOME CLASS.
Let's compare this to a monarchy. People knew their fucking place. Even if you were a landed yeoman you were still a fucking peasant, so what's with the attitude?
People have always talked about shit like this, though. The difference between the peasantry and the nobility and royalty was nobility and royalty didn't broadcast it on the public square (the internet). They knew how to talk and who to talk to.
Seriously what advantage did the royalty have over the peasantry (besides being cleaner)? Many of them were inbred, married their own sisters and all sorts of crazy shit but you wouldn't think it by the way they carried themselves and talked.
So that's what I'm calling for everyone to do. Know when and how to post.
...
On second thought: don't, because then I'd have nothing to talk about.

WEEABOOS!

What is a weeaboo, some of you may ask?
A weeaboo is someone who is creepily, annoyingly into anything Japan.
People who like anime aren't necessarily weeaboos, but all weeaboos invariably like anime.
The distinction is the annoying factor, I think.
But how can you tell if someone is annoyingly into Japan?
I have a simple test.
In the following paragraph, one word should set off all alarms:

Wow, I'm tired. My parents dragged me out to the county fair today, and then turned me loose while they volunteered for the gardening association for two hours. And ... *squee* Quilts! Legos! Old photographs! Chickens!

Yes. I'm basing my entire entry around seeing that one word. I'll have to play it by ear now.

I saw a chicken and I wanted to take him home. The feathers on his head were really long and, well, think of Einstein hair on a chicken. He had funky feathers, and it was awesome. I dragged my parents back to see that chicken. I admit, I'm eclectic and weird.

Eclectic. That would be from the Greek exlegein, I think. ex-, which is out, and -legein, meaning to gather.
More specifically, it's someone with an assortment of interests or tastes in something. I think officially it would be defined as "a mixture of philosophies" but that doesn't really help.
More to the point, eclectic is rapidly becoming one of those words. People who don't know many words all independently decided that would be a good word to pepper into their speech, regardless of its actual connotation. What about this situation makes me think "WOW THERE'S SOMEONE WHO'S ECLECTIC, LOL"? Nothing. At all. In fact I'm not even sure I'd use eclectic to define a person.
Why do I point all this out? Firstly because I want everyone to see how smart I am because it makes my balls feel big, and second, this is a common thread with weeaboos. Like furries, goths or emos they pride themselves on being unique snowflakes. Unfortunately being unique doesn't necessarily make you useful, so they quickly latched on to the "eccentric genius" stereotype common with their Japanese cartoons, and indeed all cartoons.
Like all humans on the internet, this particular weeaboo seems to fancy herself an author du jour.

I had a monster of an entry written up about Gambit and its current delay. And then LJ ate it. *grumblegrumblegrowl* The short of it is that ... taking a chapter that's written, and then swapping out one character and hoping that the chapter won't need to be completely rewritten is foolish. As I have discovered the hard way. (read: I've now had to rewrite every scene in the story to accommodate the skewed dynamic)

So she's angry her characters sound unique. Most probably her characters only sound unique to her, because indeed she wrote them.

I should be glad my characters don't swap out so easily, because to me that says I'm doing something right. (Even if, technically, it is one character that's just dressing up as the other people. No, I'm not sure how I'm keeping all the people switching roles around straight either. I am, just don't ask me to explain it .. or at least don't expect it to make sense.)

I love it when what I'm reading makes no sense. It's like trying to solve a maze, but instead of being greeted by a way out I get a headache.

That's one thing I have to say about Gambit: it makes sense when you're reading it, and writing all the personality sleight-of-hand isn't that difficult, but explaining it coherently is impossible.

Sounds like a flimsy excuse for piss-poor writing to me.

However, the most interesting thing I'm experiencing with this chapter is that character interactions change, and change drastically, if you swap out characters. Things like past history and perception get in the way. It's a good thing, as social interactions should be nuanced enough that there's a distinct difference between different people; It's just not something I'd really ever considered before. Granted, I've never had muses refuse to budge until I changed an entire chapter to suit them either.

You must be new to writing. Welcome. Not every interaction has to be, as you call it, nuanced. If every interaction were, why, I'd reckon those characters would be fucking irritating quirk-sticks. The rule for "nuanced" interaction should be, I think, like perfume: enough to see that it's there, but not enough to see that it's coming.

On a side note, I think this is why most fanfics with alternate pairings don't work.

No, most fanfics (all of them) don't work because they're thinly veiled authorial self-insertion fantasies.

Something happened today, because Gambit suddenly skyrocketed in hits. I've no idea why, but ... yay? Though I think Ithilwen's going to never ask me a question in a review ever again. I have a slight obsession with Kuroba Kaito. He's on my cellphone screen in fact. Him and a water lily.

I have no idea what any of that means.

This is why Shinou and Chi and Emy and Midoriko had to threaten my life no less than five times while I was writing Gambit, because I spontaneously decided no one else would want to read it and I wasn't going to post it. I think there was also a moment I decided it was too cliché and no one would want to read it, no matter how much fun I'd been having writing it.

That little voice in the back of your mind is trying to keep you from making an ass of yourself. You should have listened.

I've noticed something. I'm perfectly content working on all my current stories, but once I've played with them enough to get a solid grasp on their world, the part of me that thrives on world-building is off to find a new toy. Apparently, the new toy is now 19th century Paris with alchemy, witchery, and something that may be the Bavarian Illuminati thrown in for snaps.

Bet you think you're really clever with that one, huh? Throwing a bunch of seemingly --lol random-- elements together and forcing them to work, no matter if it's like sewing the head of a dog onto a dolphin's body?
Well I'm here to inform you that you're a no-talent hack. France, like most of Europe, had witch burnings. One of the grandfathers of alchemy (Nicolas Flamel) was French. None of these elements seem at all unrelated to anyone with even a tenuous grasp of history.
While to most that's good news (fantastic this story won't be apeshit crazy) to you I'm sure that's like a punch to the kidneys. YOU MEAN I'M NOT A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE? No.
Also if I hear one more fantasy story that starts with "so an alchemist..." I'm never reading again.

*peers into her author's Bag o' Ideas and wonders if she dropped it in LSD at some point* You can't give me any ideas that don't require a staggering amount of research, can you? There's enough work there to keep me from doing any writing on it until early 2008.

Staggering amount of research, huh? Yeah I bet. Fifteen minutes on the Wikipedia entry for "France" followed by "alchemy".
Also quite a number of entries ago I recalled mentioning "no one cares what your mood is" and then mentioned that everyone used huge vocabulary words to describe their moods, half of which weren't even moods. I think I even used "quixotic" as an example.
Well I was being facetious before, but goddamn if her mood isn't listed as "quixotic".
I hate the fucking internet.

Found out yesterday that Funimation is going to dub Ouran Host Club. Am I the only one that thinks this is an exceedingly bad idea? I love Host Club. It's hilarious. It's just ... not going to translate well.

Yeah because you understand Japanese humor so well it made sense to you.
Here's a spoiler for you: humor isn't so specific to any one culture that its humor will be lost on all outsiders.

Dear morons that couldn't keep their porn addiction at home,

That's how all open letters should start.

Though, have you ever had a series of days where you just feel like you fell off the ball, and then someone greased it?

Yeah I just wanted to take that out of context.
I'm going to check through her tag list, because I'd wager I'd find at least one of my "words and terms I check for" before I write a blog off as shitty.
Yep, there it is: tarot.
I fucking love tarot. I think the entire mythos behind it is fascinating, and to write it off as a device for fortune telling, to me, degrades its actual meaning.
Let's see-- oh she took one of those internet quizzes. Well fucking fuck who cares what tarot card you are. THE STAR, huh? Big fucking deal. What does it say-- oh, she represents hope and dreams realized.
I wonder what card I'd be? LET ME TAKE THIS QUIZ AND FIND OUT, THEN POST MY RESULTS HERE LIKE ANYONE GIVES A SHIT!
Seriously if you're going to post the results of an internet quiz don't make an entry.
That's today's lesson: don't make frivilous entries.
Also sorry about forgetting Friday but fuck it I was busy.
(By "busy" I mean "I forgot").

Blah blah

Blah taking time out of my busy day of Warhammer playing to grace you peasants with an update how noble of me~
Here it is.
The post that attracted my attention is this:

Language can cause harm.

For clarification: This video is a response from disability activists to the producers of Tropic Thunder for the gratuitous use of an ableist slur. The video uses the slur for impact.

Man up, girls. Also for you college educated nerds (OH NO OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE) an ableist is someone who discriminates based on disability. Not to be confused with an arbiter, which is a judge. Language can only harm if you let it. If you let someone hurt you with their mean words then you're giving them power over you.

Now there's a news story about a woman who was strangled to death by her boyfriend. That fact is not in dispute, apparently, but what is in dispute is whether or not he murdered her. Uhh. Apparently she had some auto-erotic asphyxiation thing going. Here's what our brilliant analyist had to say:

Like Helen, I wonder how she knows this. Of course, it’s another example of “defend the criminal by discrediting the victim.”

She didn't know that. She couldn't know that. She's a lawyer. Contrary to what you well-wishing types think, lawyers don't deal in the truth. Their success isn't measured based on their ability to find the truth. It's measured in the quality of the story they tell.

Now there's some shit about feminist theory or queer theory or something. Ever since I took Critical Literary Theory my eyes involuntarily cross whenever I read words like this so I'll just keep moving. My advice, though, would probably be "stop being such a boorish idiot" but I can't say that for sure since I didn't read the post.

And what a fracking useless application of social constructionist theory.

It's okay I'm pretty sure your parents won't read this.

For someone who bangs on and on about literary critical theory she seems to be afraid of words. Avoiding the word "fuck", telling me straight that I shouldn't use certain words because someone might be offended isn't the thinking of an educated adult. The words of someone who has read a lot of books, perhaps, but being educated and being well-read rarely are the same.

Also this is a transsexual woman. I don't know which direction that goes. Is that a girl who became a guy or the other way around? Well whatever.

She's now angered that Sweden proposed all transsexual people be sterilized. Granted that does sound a little Nazi-esque, I'm fairly certain almost all transsexuals can't have children due to the hormones they take anyway, so I'm not sure the point of this ruling. Either way I'm sure anyone with a brain in Sweden in charge of this said "we can't do this holy shit everyone will call us Nazis."

Another Woman Dead, The Blogosphere Largely Doesn’t Notice

What is a blogosphere? Nevermind, I don't even want to know. Good Christ. I'm going to assume the "blogosphere" is the blogging community, in which case no, no they wouldn't notice because they're too busy being pretentious pricks with a slightly different brand of pretentious than your favorite. Your favorite being "look how well-read I am I get to be so outraged at everything."

To me, the mark of the educated (versus the well-read, I made that distinction earlier) is doubt. If ever there was a thought worthy of worship, it's doubt. Doubt is what gets things done. While she's certain all this fury thrown into the void of the internet makes any bit of difference, I doubt her stand every bit of the way.

Her use of "personhood" is really dumb. So afraid of gender words, I see. For someone who proudly stands as being a woman you sure do retreat behind ambiguous words like that.

Here’s the truth- even in death,

unfortunately this sentence didn't end in "I STILL SERVE" so apparently whoever this is isn't a Space Marine Dreadnought, so I don't really care what they have to say.

This tells us a lot about how institutions act out ideological biases–transphobia, misognyny, racism, ableism, homophobia, classism, and so on. Some lives are more valuable than others, some lives are more worth saving than others, some people deserve better treatment than others.

"Deserve" is such a tricky word. Do they deserve it? Probably not. Do they get it? Yes. Taking a stand on the internet won't change anything, though. All that frivilous reading won't accomplish anything, except to perpetuate your own tortured philosophies.

This is like philosophy for the criminally unimaginative. What possible use do all of these words have? Yes. A transsexual woman was murdered and no one was outraged-- but how many people are murdered daily and they aren't even reported by the media?
That's why you, specifically, don't command special treatment. It's because you see the world in strictly binary lines: you are transsexual, therefore only things that affect transsexuals affect you. Nevermind that no matter your gender, race or whatever else you're still human and should therefore be primarily concerned with the exploits of humanity, instead of just your own factional standings.

I'm not going to say "if you were one of the elite you wouldn't be saying these things since the system would benefit you" because I can't know that. I have a feeling, based on your petty, superficial understanding of humanity I'd be willing to wager you wouldn't.

Also I just went back and reread my post and the phrase "man up, girls" carries an almost prophetic tone to it, because I didn't know at the the time the poster was a dude. Err, girl.
Whatever.
See that's why people are afraid of transsexuals. It's confusing for them. People get scared when they're confused.
So whatever this is boring I'm going to play some more Warhammer.

Oh What Luck

I mentioned yesterday that I was waiting for my Warhammer Online invite. Well, I got it, but what I hadn't anticipated was what a monstrous piece of shit the torrent used to download the client would be.
So had the first blog I clicked on not been an award winner at the shit Olympics (right turn onto topical and timely street) there would not be an update today. My internet is that fucking clogged.
But you're reading this, SO WHAT FORTUNE.
Today's blog is entitled In The Rain, Noone Can See You Cry...
I always read the grammatical error "noone" as "noon". Also I see that more times than I can count. If this shit keeps up it'll just be a compound word, because I truly believe more people don't put the space than do.
It's like "snuck" or "struck" or, God forbid, "anyways". Fuck, Firefox spell check only caught one out of those three (snuck should still be sneaked, I guess). If you were keeping score, the right answers for those three is "sneaked" "stricken" and "anyway".
So here's the first post. I have no clue what she (?) is talking about. At all. At first I guessed a pregnancy, but then I'm thinking it has more to do with-- a trip? Who knows.

What did I bother getting ready for then?
I know I moaned but it wasn't my fault - I don't do last minute - anyone who knows me knows that.
But of course, he doesn't know me does he?
Has he even bothered to take the time to do that?
He knows how I feel. I've voiced my opinions about that before. So much for wanting a girl first, eh?
Well I tried, and now he's in a mood, being all stubborn as usual. I don't even want to go now if he's going to be like that. Being stuck in a car with him will be no fun at all.
I shouldn't even be going on this holiday, al this train business was his idea. Why he couldn't book online like everyone else I don't know. This is all so pathetic. I hate Sundays.
Worst. Summer. Ever.

Ah yes, must be a trip. I find that whole "worst. _____. Ever." thing to be totally played out. That was funny when the comic book guy in Simpsons did that in, what, 1993? It's fifteen years later. Time to get a new catch phrase, people.
Also at the bottom of every entry on LiveJournal and DeadJournal (and presumably other blog places too) you can leave a comment, but everyone is allowed to put their own text in for what a comment is called. Some people adhere to some kind of theme, like I've seen writers say "leave a critique" instead of "leave a comment". Well, this one is "Wanna fuck? Rape me." Which-- Jesus Christ take it easy.
At first I thought this was a poem, but it's a list of things. I found it very illuminating, and I'm now reminded of an earlier entry I made:

Things change so much, yet they also stay sadly the same.

I never learnt to drive.
I passed my exams.
I'm at Uni now.
Writing this.
Me and Jas are still together.
I think I finally got off of his back.
And we love eachother so effing much.
3 whole years.
I was such a fucktard.
A little fucked up kid.
But I'm okay now, I hope.
I haven't cut for years.
Jas made me better, he healed me.
All those wounds.
I wanna start writing here again, but this time I wanna talk about all the happy things in my life.
Not depress myself further.

My best friend is getting married, and she's very pregnant.
God things do change.
And hopefully for the best!

Love you Jas, always will.
Now you just have to marry me, hah.

A CUTTER. Also I was right about the pregnancy thing. Someone was indeed pregnant. AM I PSYCHIC? NO, JUST PAYING ATTENTION! (sorry, watching a lot of NBC lately).
The next post contains a lot of typos. Bad typos. Typos so bad the word "cry" has a forward slash in it, for some reason. Which, looking at my keyboard, c, r and y are all to the left or the center, and the forward slash is way the fuck over here above enter, so I don't know what kind of flipper hands you'd need to make a mistake like that.

All i doo lately is cr...And cry and c\ry...
it's not fair, I shouldn't be this upset...All I want is the usual stuff, a happy life, a lvoing boyfriend, a well paid job...

But I can't even have that...

If I coud do something different, otu of everything...It would be to stop myself from falling in love...Love, love isn't happy, and love most definately isn't great...I hate it...I hate love almost more than I hate myself, and my life...

Love is pain, there ae joys, but more pain than anythign else...

LOVE IS PAIN, MAN. Sounds like a Whitesnake greatest hit.
The next post is an overly long MSN conversation, but it was so boring and filled with trite bullshit my eyes almost rolled out of my head.
Another post that's too boring.
The next post is kind of interesting, I think:

Oh yeah, me and Ricky broke up March this year. He cheated on me for 2 months with a girl called Freya - she was supposed to be my best friend at the time.

Better take it easy, he was cheating with a Valkyrie. You're probably lucky to still be alive after that. Seriously I didn't know people named their kids names like that. That's like naming your kid "Zeus" or "Athena".
Also their MSN names are really long. Know what my name on MSN is? Tim.
Seriously, look at this:

There are times where I really do believe that he still loves me - and then there are times where I think he hates me too....

Responding to

Revenant - Thoughts without words

Jesus Christ those aren't titles those are sentences. REVENANT OooOOoooOOOooooOOOOOOooooo scary name.

I'm actually proud of that. Don't get me wrong, I have wanted to hurt myself, so many times. To split myself open and let out all the worries.

Yeah too bad.
This is five years' worth of posts, by the way. That's right-- this emo kid has subsisted like this for FIVE YEARS.
Jesus Christ cheer up.
I've said it before, but:
CUT DOWN ON THE MELODRAMA. Especially with the ellipsis. Some of her posts (I didn't mention any here, but they're there) had no punctuation except ellipsis. That is some serious drama.

because He lives

Odd caps in today's title. I assume He is uppercased in exclusion to other, equally fitting words because this refers to God.
You know God, don't you? That angry eye in the sky that sees everything you do, everything you think, and he's got a book of grudges. Personally I don't like this God character. I don't like any unnamed entity. Makes me feel like he has something to hide. Perhaps miss God has a restraining order?
I also like my deities to have a personality. I know this God character is supposedly loving and all that shit but when you strip away what he's supposedly doing for you he seems kind of bland.
So I appreciate the old gods. I know, I know your God is "eternal" or whatever but in a reality the Bible is a relatively new text (400 AD for the complete, modern Bible I think).
Yeah, gods like Hermes or Zeus, or even Odin and Baldur (even though Odin seems kind of like an alcoholic). Something with a history, something with tenure.

The common love we share in Christ is really the one that brings us together and keeps us till now. People can change and get on with their lives but God's still our common topic, and that makes me feel so much for our friendship.

Yeah, see? It's all about what Jesus is doing for your friendship. It's never a platonic thing. I wonder how Jesus feels about your constant cajoling and begging and pleading? It's no wonder prayers never get answered.
Also sorry the font is so goddamned small I had to zoom in five times just to read it. I understand my font is small too but good Christ at least you can read it without squinting.
When I mentioned they old gods I should have also mentioned that I don't worship them. I don't pray to them. Indeed, I never ask them for anything. I've read their stories and they're capricious gods at best (so praying would be a 50% prospect in the most ideal situations) but mostly because I know they aren't real. But I do derive some kind of comfort from their stories. They're interesting characters. Which is something I can't say for the Judeo-Christian God. When he is interesting it's because he's threatening to murder the entire world or something.
Another problem I have with God is how he takes normal, genuine human emotions and twists them until they're some kind of parody of themselves.
Here's a perfect example:

I realise, after all these birthdays, that all my closest friends have been with me since forever.

That's a nice sentiment. Loyalty to one's friends, to me, shows character.

It's only after celebrating 20 years of God's goodness in their lives that it dawns upon me how long I've known them already.

Err, what? What would God's goodness have to do with your friendships?

For that, I feel ultimately blessed and glad. If there's anything I could use for comforting myself in times of despair, it'll be the fact that I've got a handful of really good friends God has given.

Nevermind the friendships you had to cultivate, the undoubted mutual labor of maintaining a friendship with someone, it's all GOD'S WORK.

I've witnessed far too many already, but for the fact that I still have my circle of friends around me proves to me how God has been the keeper and guardian of my life. It's a testimony of His faithfulness and God only has more to show me, if I'd let Him.

Notice here all God is never to blame. He brought you friends and all that, but if you lost them it was because you somehow failed him, not the other way around (note the language on the end). I would never let God guard my life. I'd never let anyone but me guard my life.

i know you mean it from the bottom of your heart. thank you, and thank You, God for giving such friends. i believe it's also the first time you've called me your best friend.

Best friends, to me, are entitled to be brutally honest with each other, particularly when one is about to make an ass of herself.
Also I'm fairly certain God has millions of best friends now. It's cute you think you can cultivate a real, literal, personal friendship with an imagined, or, at best, distant and incorporeal entity.

thank God the test and interview went well.
God has done His part. now it's back to me, to see if I am courageous and faithful enough to follow His direction.

This is like playing a video game with cheats on. Why wouldn't you want to play the actual game instead of relying on unfair advantages? Hell, actual, literal cheating is less of a cheat than using this God fellow. At least real cheating requires preparation and work.
Also again this is all about what God is doing for her, not the other way around. What is God's benefit in this relationship? You seem to be walking all over the poor guy. I bet if God stopped supposedly answering your pleas this relationship would be over and you'd forsake him as being a non-entity.
i don't know why i suddenly felt a tinge of anger last night when you talked to me and asked me how i was. and i just didn't feel like telling you anything except that "i'm doing good".
"I'm doing well" would be grammatically correct, but all right, fine. I think this might be why you have trouble landing friends and have to rely on overpowered super deities. No one expects any answer but "I'm fine." It's like a greeting. A stupid greeting with all the potential emotions stripped from it, but that's what it is.

do we expect people to stay the same after not being in contact with them for awhile?
fact of life, people change.

Hardly. People change superficially, and only change serious personality details when they have to. It's not a bad thing, necessarily, it's just making major life changes is taxing both physically and mentally, and most people don't want to do it unless there's a dire need to do so.
spending a day out with the people i love makes life so meaningful.

i realised after tonight, that even in singapore, you could do simple activities, and feel like at the end of it all, you've done the best thing in years.

just like sitting at the padang, watching softballers and ruggers train, feeling the night breeze in your hair and face, get some angles and perspective on the skyline. all that, beside a buddy, talking about things that really matter.

why not, God is praised through our edifying.

Again simple, human emotions are given an unreal quality to them with this God character. Let me see, "edifying". That would be the improvement of knowledge in the moral or religious arenas, wouldn't it? If that's what friends are for, count me out.

after all the fiasco, i just sit down and think long and hard.

my conclusion is that i will move on with my life and continue to praise God.
He's the only constant and the only person I can trust to depend on for my past, present and future.

trusting men too much was my downfall.

I don't mean to make a generalization here, but it does seem to be a recurring theme amongst the truly religious: an ultimately low opinion of humanity. That's fine, shit, I share in this, but at least my philosophy on life offers ways around this. I always maintained people were untrustworthy until they could prove otherwise, and I've stuck to that. This, however, seems to set you up alone with an imagined being. Not a fun way to live, I think.

I guess the lesson for today would be this: observe your thoughts. Why do you feel this way about God? Why do you feel the need to constantly reference him, like some kind of personal mantra?

Write about that shit. It'd make for a more interesting, human read. That would be "edifying", I think.

Well that's all I have. I was hoping this'd pass time until I got my Warhammer Online beta invite, but the fucker still hasn't come yet. Oh well. MONDAY AT THE LATEST, OR SO I'VE HEARD.

Can't see shit

Today's blog resembles a cave.
Can't see shit. Everything has that weird fade quality to it. If text happens to scroll over that dumb flower in the background I'm literally blind. I always love having to pick around for the text. Straight, easy readings are for pussies.

It's been four years. Four years since we've spoken. And then one night I call you out of the blue. Because I found a mixtape. I hope you're reading this again, because if this is a novel, it'll be a lot easier in small doses.

If this is a novel I'm putting it back.

Come to think of it it's been about four years since I had a ritual for new music. Open the package, read the lyrics on the way home, listen & read, listen & sing. All of this occupied the period of several hours and was (come to think of it *ahem*) a very spiritual experience for me.

Well your music list is shit, containing such award winners as Tool and Korn, so fuck you and your taste in music. Melodramatic ass.

I called you because I found a mixtape. For your ex-boyfriend who died recorded on the other side of the first (only?) cassette you ever made me. I haven't even seen a picture of you in over 2 years until that night.

Is this going somewhere or am I missing something? After skimming through the hugely long post, No. No it doesn't.
That's five minutes of my life I will never have back.

I woke up this morning with the realization that it may not be.

What may not be?

That genuinely frightened me and for a second the finality of death rushed over me again.

Oh Christ here we go again.

He was so in love with you, y'know. He told us both over and over again that no one would ever be able to love with the purity that he had loved you, and in ironic circumstance fate didn't give him the opportunity to be wrong.

Us or you or-- who is the audience for this? I guess it's like she (?) is writing to herself, about herself. Which if you ask me only confuses an already very confusing blog further.

He's in me now.

Tee hee

I know it. And if he's crammed in here with Mary, and Tim, and George Carlin, at least he's making good conversation.

ho ho ho where is this? Sounds pretty full up there in your ass or wherever this is.
Then some more melodrama and cryptic bullshit that I'm not reading followed by a poem that's seven stanzas too long.
More poetry.
More poetry.
Ah-- let's read that last poem. Why not?

My banana rama killed your pajama
You were the egg man I was the walrus

Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon. The darker one on ABC. That's what this reminds me of.
This furthers my theory that all poems are paragraphs with random breaks in sentences. It goes on from there but it's really, really not worth reading.

So this is the part where I finally kick my journal in the ass because I finally am miserable enough to do so. Misery isn't the word, it's just a running theme in this place. Somehow all of the glorious and beautiful moments in my life go unrecorded, whereas I find myself scrawling the most when I have those horrible itchy rotten feelings in the bottom of my gut.

Sounds like you need some Summer's Eve.

I am actually leading a very happy life.

You could have fooled me.

I did a tarot reading last night about you and Katie, (where you are, if you left intentionally, etc. etc.) I usually don't do readings without permission, but considering the circumstances I thought it was appropriate.

... Really? Tarot isn't a mystical practice. You did know that, right? They don't predict the future. You're supposed to do it, then read what it tells you, then you're supposed to feel better about yourself.
I'm fairly certain no one ever pretended they divined the future. Well, street performers did to fool children and stupids out of their money, but that's different.

Everyone keeps saying that the two of you probably ran off for some adventure; That's what the cards suggested.

I know all of the Tarot cards and can't think of any that suggest "adventure" outside of The Fool and The Magician, but that's more a quest than an adventure. See if you line the major arcana up in order it's the cycle of a life, and each suggests an impasse or a stage of being. Take The Fool, being in position 0 in the major arcana. Then he becomes The Magician, because he gained knowledge. See, then it passes through each until he's The Hermit, old and wizened. For all major considerations, consider 0-9 the transition of one individual, then 10-19 a similar, albeit large-scope transition. That's all that is. It's not some MYSTICAL SCIENCE.

I don't know. I'm more afraid that your dead.

You know the Death card doesn't mean literal death, right? Well whatever.

Or that something awful is happening. I wish you would send word soon. I sent myself a copy of the e-mail I sent you, a way to log how long you've been missing. I might delete or archive it though, seeing it makes my stomach churn in horrible unspeakable fashions. It doesn't help that I haven't even chipped the iceberg that I wanted to share with you. Every single second I am afraid, and sad, because the idea of you not saying ANYTHING to anyone doesn't sound right. But maybe I'm wrong. I would like to think that you'd at least shoot me another gonecrazybebacksoon. I can't really concentrate on anything else. The twilight zone factor of it all is just too difficult.

Good Christ all from your little Tarot deck you bought from the Borders? If it's going to do that to you put that thing away.

I just wish I knew where you were. Or why. Or when. Here's the real irony; it's one way to insure that you'll get a novel from me. Don't be dead though. If either one of you ends up dead I'll be mad. Not at you, absolutely blind crazy fucking mad.

Maybe I've sunk further into spelling nonsense, but to me "insure" implies measures taken beforehand, like insurance. Ensure, however, is a guarantee. Maybe that's just me. Further, what you describe isn't ironic. It isn't even a coincidence. Hell, it isn't even a coherent thought. Why would one of them dying ensure (insure, whatever) you'll write a novel?
Now she (I'm positive this is a woman now) is going on and on about... Something. I think it's about disappointment or some shit like that, but it's so wrapped up in what I can only describe as a personal myth that it's basically meaningless to anything not residing in her fucking nutty head.
I will admit, though, it is well written. It even has that "edge of interesting" feel to it that I so often got from the books I had to read in school. I'm sure this is a sentiment many can relate to: the book could have been really good and interesting if it didn't have its head so far up its own ass.

I have started talking to my biological father again. The first step in studying psychology is realizing that crazy people are crazy.

When I took the first step of psychology I learned the definition of crazy before I tried to willy-nilly apply it to people.
Let me see if I still have that textbook newness to my psychology knowledge and diagnose you.

Of my plethora of psychological problems the one thing that I wish to rid myself of forever is the sickening feeling that engulfs me when I have done wrong. Every social mis-step, every horrible decision, and essentially any time I have a reason to feel that I have made a complete ass of myself; the history of every mistake I have made washes over me in waves of horrible regret.

I'd say you have a pathological desire to martyr yourself. For what I'm not sure. You seem to loooove playing the victim.
You seem overly concerned with yourself. Every social "mis-step" is more about what you did wrong than how it affected other people. I don't think you lack empathy, though. I think, based on the tone of this journal, you try to disassociate yourself from the situation by treating your empathy as a third party observer, and it's looking back at you.
I'd also say you project a little (understatement) hard.

Imagine if every wretched or even mildly unpleasant experience in your life crowded into every corner of your mind. You're re-living them all. All at the same time.

Err I do. Most people do. You just have to toughen up, though. Remember no one remembers anything even a quarter as long as you do. It goes back to that whole personal myth thing I mentioned earlier: what seems crushingly important to you most likely won't be important to other people, because it more than likely only seemed important to you at the time. So while you carry these feelings of guilt and regret no one else remembers because they're so wrapped up in their own personal fable.
Your entire being seems devoted to fantasy and mythology, too. I can recognize this so well because it reminds me of me.
But while my interest has long since been academic, I'd say you are using it as a defensive mechanism. The tarot cards, the way you perceive your own life, finding any parallels?

When I was fourteen that feeling would leave me gasping between panic attacks. At times it would overwhelm me so severely I could only cower in the corner (or bed, or shower) for days. This was what drove me to self-mutilation.

Yeah I was just getting to that. You also seem to have a panic disorder. I'd tell you I can help, but I'm pretty sure you have to want to help yourself first, and I'm not sure you do.
There. I think that about sums it up.
I THINK I STILL HAVE IT.
So in conclusion, to not be like this blog:
MELODRAMA. TOO MUCH OF IT.
Try not to be so crazy. That can be really hard I understand, but try to put a manic spin instead of a depressive spin on it. That at least makes people feel better, or at least inquisitive.
Change your background. Can't see a goddamn thing.

Socially Inept Dumbass

It's story time, children. Today's story is from Doug's Journal.
Our story begins with a social misfit named Doug.
Doug seems like a nice enough guy.

I tell her how beautiful she is, I bought her a brand new house, several nice cars (not at the same time), and I do what I can for her. I'm not rich, I can't buy everything she wants, but I eat frozen burritos and crappy cereal most of the time so she can eat the things she wants to eat.

See? What a noble soul, sacrificing everything for his wife! Maybe it's just me but I always feel like any noble gesture stops being noble the second you start bitching about it. That sets up an awkward situation for poor wife: the deed has already been done and she can't fix it now, because what has passed has passed.
That doesn't excuse her, though, because she sounds like a twat. Apparently she's flirting with dudes on the internet.
I guess my point is she's a twat and he's a dick: a perfect match.
At first I started to feel sorry for the guy. Then I remembered I dislike every person and thing until it can prove itself likable. So this is some list he made apparently about the rules of men. If these are the rules of men then call me a woman.

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
from the male side. This is our rule! Please note... these are all
numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

We do? Maybe it's your taste in women but I have never heard these rules.
Maybe you have to be married.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

The toilet seat always goes down because when you flush BACTERIA FLIES ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. I know you can't see it and therefore you assume it doesn't exist, but trust me.
Let me set up the scenario for you: you shit, don't put the seat down and flush. Bacteria and shit particles everywhere.
Meanwhile your toothbrush is on the top of the sink.
GUESS FUCKING WHAT.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.

Yeah I love watching muscular men reach between each others' legs and make gigantic homoerotic man piles too.

1. Crying is blackmail.

That's defense-tactic number one. If you fall for that you should have to buy her whatever she wants.
Also you should have seen it coming in the first place and avoided the situation.
Or, even better, date a chick with some guts, but that's not going to happen because you are, after all, an ass.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

This is the breed of beer-swilling idiot I used to see in my high school all the time. The loss of subtly does not make you more of a man. It makes you a jackass.

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Perhaps, but they usually should be qualified with some sort of opinion or thought process. You know, so you can keep up the facade that you're an adult capable of some intelligent thoughts?

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

I learned this lesson early. I thought it'd get me chicks by pretending to sound sympathetic, but then I turned into the girl-gossip magnet. While interesting in its own right, it wasn't the effect I was going for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

I don't know what kind of existence this guy leads where he can't remember stuff he said from a week ago. I never forget anything.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

Ah, this bulletproof logic. If you're ugly don't expect to be treated right.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

There is no good excuse for not choosing your words carefully.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

I have to be honest. I'm not sure what mauve is either, but I wouldn't wear my ignorance like a badge.
What's it, like a pink color? I'll Google this.
Yeah it is pink.
WOW THAT WAS HARD TO FIND OUT.
All right I'm done with this list, but it goes ON AND ON. I think this is from that comedian. He was on the blue collar comedy tour, but I don't follow the exploits of hack comics so I don't really know.

So I'm not honest huh? Well fuck you too for talking shit then. I swear, people are two-faced.

No one wants you to be honest, either. People want to hear what they think, not what you think. Just repeat whatever they want to hear at them. If you can't do that or are unwilling to do that, then shut up. If you can't do that, then expect disappointment and failure.
Now he's bitching like a bitch about getting in trouble at work for some completely dumb reason. That's what people in charge do. They act petty with their power so you know they have brass balls.

And by the way, who ever was replying to the last post and talking shit about me being a waste, FUCK OFF!!! If you are one of my ex's, you know you are wrong and that your full of shit. Now why you would come on here and talk shit to me is beyond my imagination. Last I checked, when you talk shit about a person, you do it behind their back and not to them you Fucking idiot!
What a temper.

I'd tell him to act like the big man he likes to pretend he is and grow a set and stop bitching to strangers on the internet about it, but I'm fairly certain that's what blogs are for in the first place.

Well, I am an idiot.

At last, something we can agree on.

Yesterday I had my final in English class and today I have my final for photography.

Considering you don't seem to know the difference between "there", "their" and "they're" (hint: they are different) I'm guessing that went well.
The amazing thing is I have commented on six years of entries (sparse updater, bonus points) and he has not changed at all.
All right here's how to not be like this putz:
don't be an internet tough guy. It makes you look like an idiot.
don't pretend like you're some badass. You're on the internet, everyone looks the same through the internet.
don't talk about girl troubles and your petty, half-realized understanding of women. It makes you look clumsy.
I guess that's it, then.

FURRIES

I don't know what this blog is but I saw the avatar and said "FURRY."
So let's see how this goes. It may be shit, in which case this post will never see the light of published status, or it may be pie.
Based off the name I'd say I'm in the clear, though: Huskypupp's Adventures!

wow, 10 whole hours since i posted.. Seen a lot of stuff today and big thankyou to everyone who wished me happy birthday *slurrps*

Based off all the furry art I've seen this past week I'm not going to ask what you're slurping.

Right now i'm treating myself to a humongous pizza @ pizza hut, had nothing all day :(

Peace out y'all, back tomorrow ^^

Pizza Hut is shit tier pizza.
Also I don't know what it is about furries but they all seem to have southern accents or be from the south. Hmm. That might go a long way in explaining why they're so annoying.

Sooo, now i iz all old...

Even if its expected of me, they cant force me to act my age :0p

Therefore, I'm off to Edinbrough for the day to see what trouble I can cause up there ^^
If anyone knows what good stuff goes down there, all ideas are welcome!

"I iz"? Talk like an adult you idiot. Also wear a fursuit and fuck people in the ass. Isn't that what you people do?

Anyways, the couple i mentioned quoted a poem in my card that i cant seem to find anywhere else..

"When I was a child, I spake as a child,
I understood as a child, I thought as a child:
but when I became a man, I put away
childish things. For now we see through a
glass, darkly; but then face to face: now
I know in part; but then shall I know even
as also I am known."


I have no ida where it is from, but aparently theres more to it, about when your a man etc etc.

It's from the Bible. Corinthians, I think. But don't worry about finding it and reading past that part, because based on your grasp of the English so far I have the feeling the meaning would be lost on you.
Also side note about that quote, because I'm sure EVERYONE WANTS TO KNOW THIS: the story A Scanner Darkly gets its name from that passage. The part about "glass, darkly" and-- well, I thought it was interesting, anyway.

Woof! incase any one might be interested..

Stop that. You're not a wolf. You're a freak in a mascot costume.

1). Licked from one side of the road to the other for a dare (my tongue bled like hell! )

I think it's safe to say that if he really was a wolf he would have been selected out of the breeding pool by now.

2). Fitted a total of 11 Horse Chestnuts under my tail!

What.

I dont think i've ever had red wine properly.

but it sure does make for giggleh huskies ^^

What.

I dont see the point of making a special effort *JUST* for inspection.. should'nt it be 100% of the time?
And if we put up a false front now, then i think it's pointless being inspected, because thats not how it is 100% of the time!


Or is it just me?

I don't think you understand the point of an inspection. It's like a test. Do you remember all the shit on a test forever? Of course not. You just want to do well on the test.

Okay so, i bought some fur aaaages aog to make myself a proper tail.. some nice longish blue and white..

"Proper tail"
"blue"
"proper tail"
"blue"
Have furries, uhh, seen animals before? Unless it's like a gray-blue or something, animals aren't that color. Mammals aren't, at least.
Then he links to a furry article that he describes as "disapointing (sic)"
I read through the article, and this was the only quote worth note:

When other boys were making use of the ladies' underwear section of the Kays catalogue, I would draw one of its models with kitty ears and a tail

ho ho ho

Wuff! as y'all may know, i managed to get a place at Confuzzled! there is one thing though, i saw the option to choose your roomies..
would anyone mind bunking with a husky?

Like an actual dog, or-- oh I get it, you mean a freak who thinks he's a dog?

I has a question and would really appreciate if someone coudl help me out.

Back to the "lol wacky" speech, huh? Well fuck your question. I know the answer but you can eat a dick before I'll help you.

Does anyone else think about humping the laundry just as your taking it out of the tumble dryer?

What.

OMGZ Ceiling cat is actually watching me masturbate!! :0p

WHAT.

was coughing up small traces of blood this morning whuich is worrying!

WHAT!?
All right that's it I'm finished.
Good luck with your Ebola, though. Hope that works out for you.
I've said it before, but: don't be a furry.