PRAISE ZEUS

Today was a good day. Let's ruin it with shitty blogs.
For, as Zeus has said, "mortals are so quick to blame the gods for their problems, but never once look to their own devices for the source of their misery."

Spending my easter weekend writing a 6-8 page essay... some-fucking-how relating abortion, to philosopher Machiavelli...

I'm sure the man who coined the phrase "the ends justify the means" would have little qualms with abortion or anything, for that matter.
There's my six page essay. One sentence.
Hey why spend six to eight pages when you can get it across equally well in one sentence?
Now there's a fucking entire post devoted to "guys she'd do," great. Like I'm going to make a post about the car collision I almost caused because I was looking at this girl on the street.
Oh wait I just did.
Fuck me.
I guess the guy who decided to cut over wasn't as taken as I was by Mrs. Noclothes. A lot of gays on my campus.

You dont fight with drunken saski girls. I'm glad me and meeg (mostly meeg....) were the bigger people in the situation.

Anyone know what the fuck? No? Anyone want to know?
Yeah me neither.

WEDNESDAY WILL BE HITTING EVERY IRISH PUB DOWNTOWN, SINGING EVERY DRINKING SONG. Fuck my dignity.

Yeah, sing it sister! Dignity is for shit!
Wait, no--

I hate being so average. I hate school. I hate this place. I hate everything. I hate how I'm the only one doing horrible in my classes.

Yeah you're going to have to tell me what that's like sometime.

I hate how my life is right now. I hate everything. I hate being the only one with shitty marks. I hate being shitty at what I do. I hate still life.

Oh I didn't mean now, Jesus.

"The amount of work you have in design at ACAD is equivalent to the amount of work a medical student would have." HAHAHAHA FUCK, Too bad when I graduate I'll be making .00012% of what a kid from medical school makes.LOL

Ha, ha yeah fucking society thinking doctors are more useful than artists--
hey yeah, actually.
I always love that willy-waving contests people in college do. MY DEGREE IS AS MUCH WORK AS A MED DEGREE, DON'T YOU KNOW?
Really? Why the shit are you doing it then? I'm the first to admit my major is piss easy, but I'm not trying to be a doctor so I guess that's fair.
That's not to say my job isn't useful, someone has to teach all the future idiots to read so they can read up on their incoming malpractice suit, after all. I guess I'm just a little more comfortable with my lot in life than an art major, but upon further introspection spending all that time on a major that will get you fuck all would have me asking a lot of existential questions too.

Hiya guys. I'm in need of some new music.. ya know, catchy upbeat, feel good type stuff so I can clean my room (finally) and work on proj's with some good music!
Let me know whatchya got for meh!

I'm going to recommend "The Dock of the Bay" by Ottis Redding and "Stranger in Moscow" by Michael Jackson.
Hopefully the spiral of depression that causes will get you to stop posting on Livejournal (or kill yourself. Same result for me either way~)

I know I bitch about this everyday, but it's seriously getting to the point where I want to start crying in every class (almost have in every class) and want to commit suicide every night!!!!

Telling you, she's one Ottis Redding song away from taking the plunge.

I have no idea what I want to do now.. design isn't for me, fine art.. not really either..
I'm not good with numbers, or science. I don't have the patients to work with children, I don't have the patients to work with injured people, or mentally challenged people. I don't have the skills/patients to work with technology, I'm not good any law shit, I suck at any management stuff, I'm not very good at decision making or listening. I'm not organized and I don't co-operate well.

Sounds like she's suffering from low self-efficacy WOOOOOOOOO TED450 PAYS OFF

I did a career test and it said I should be a recycling officer................. are you fuckin' kidding.

Oh I took that test. It said I should be a kung fu instructor.
Not even making that up.
If this whole college thing doesn't work out I think that's what I'll do. I'll go to China, Thailand and Japan to become a master of KUNG FU and then come back like Weedhopper from that show, Kung Fu.
Fuck yeah, man.

Please tell me there are people just as confused as I am, but make it in da future.

Something like 90% of all geniuses never finish college.
Of course your problem is very different than theirs because they are geniuses and you are very clearly of diminished intellect, so I'm not really sure why I bring this up.

Anywhoo.. last weekend the girls here all reunited and we went to Vinyl. It's a "retro" lounge. It plays only 80s and 90s hits..

Shit.
Too bad you have to go to a lounge and sit on a reeking sofa and talk to assholes to enjoy the smooth sounds of Dire Straits.
If only they'd invent some sort of portable hard drive that stores music you can listen to on the go.

so they say.. anyways, we predrank, and I made a legit 90s playlist for us to listen to while doing so!

Predrank.
Alcoholic?

Does anyone else wish that connor would die so we don't have to see his pointless FB statuses?

YEAH FUCK CONNOR MAN, FUCK CONNOR!
Hum hum, your life sure is boring, miss.
I thought the aforementioned smooth sounds of Dire Straits would really help this along but it's kind of creating a stark contrast between fucking awesome guitar solos about selling color TVs and boring, humdrum life.
I'd like to see someone try to cover Money for Nothing, come to think of it. It'd be like that episode of Fist of the North Star where that bandit guy tries to use the Fist of the North Star against Kenshiro and explodes in the process. I bet it'd be just like that.
Oh sorry started doing something else entirely, good grief.
Uhh-- entry over, go away :C

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
This guy. Let me tell you about this guy.
His name was John Milton, and for some fucking reason I cannot escape him this semester. Maybe it's because I foolishly signed up for a class called "John Milton" but holy fuck me I never expected Aeropagitica to ambush me on Livejournal.
I found this shit, was scrolling through, said "yeah this is boring," and was two seconds away from clicking the back button when I saw that word and my eyes almost screwed out of my head. We're also going to get some hilarious (only read like "HUUUUUUULARIOUS") interpretation of Marlowe's Faust and, hold onto your ass because we're about to get into some
TECHNICAL SHIT:
Paradise Lost.

So it has come to my attention that my little sister is something of Steven Strogatz fangirl. Apparently, he writes the best math textbooks she's ever had to read

Can a life be so devoid of content that this passes as entertaining?
I'm about to find out.

For example, Finding Your Roots is a wonderfully lucid explanation of imaginary and complex numbers, but when he gets to fractals, which seems the really fascinating part, the writing becomes dense, cursory and leaves me fumbling for meaning:

I can't believe this is happening. On Livejournal, no less. I'm reading an entry about Fractals on Livejournal at 1:29 PM on a Monday.
... When I was 10 and I was "imagining my life in 12 years" for my 5th (6th, 7th who the fuck even knows) grade English assignment, I'm sure I imagined myself as somewhat more of a success than this.
Sorry, 10 year old me.

I had a navel orange as part of breakfast/lunch and for the first time, marveled at its name. Wikipedia tells me "A single mutation in 1820 in an orchard of sweet oranges planted at a monastery in Brazil yielded the navel orange [...]

Ah, like the single mutation in the form of a perfect special defense IV that spawned my entire "indeterminate" egg group progeny.
I tried plotting that family tree, incidentally.
Very creepy.
Controlled inbreeding and alien virus infection. Pokemon takes a very dark turn when you look under the surface, good grief.

Or, Paradise Lost, the really good parts

So, near the end of Bk 2, Satan flies out of Hell, searching for earth,

No, nope. Not doing this.

Reading Areopagitica and PL so close together emphasizes how much free will matters to Milton

Oh he reserved all his good lines that he himself spoke and believed in for Satan.
Wonder if that means anything?

The only time Milton's God seems interesting

IS NEVER SHUT UP. Any time you make something "really boring" to "make a point" you have fucked up somewhere.

Read Marlowe's Faustus again for the first time in 7 years. Kind of want to see a modern stage production of it now in which Faustus is a hipster grad student.

Honest to God I cannot believe how pretentious college is. No wonder people hate intellectually-minded folk.

Also rereading Paradise Lost. I think I'm getting old. The first time I read PL, I like every other teenager who encounters Milton, thought OMG SATAN IS SO COOL. And now, I just feel he's sad and childish, just like Faustus.

Really? I just keep imagining him doing jazz hands at every turn. He really strikes me as a character from a musical.

Was so congested last night I couldn't sleep so finally got and up and read Duchess of Malfi until I dozed off in the middle of Act 3.

Yeah the Duchess of Malfi is pretty cool or something idk I guess school hasn't beaten that one to death for me yet.

Nothing like a desperate tragedy of revenge, murder, and torture to put you to sleep.

I know you're trying to be "lolironically funny" but it's seriously the only good thing you'll read in any Renaissance drama class.

I have absolutely nothing to say about this play except perhaps to compare it to Edward II what with the anxiety of princes consorting with the base born.

You have nothing to say about revenge, murder and incest and yet you have a fifteen thousand paragraph essay about fractals?
Whatever.

Was freaking out because I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE REFORMATION OR CALVINISM OR THE PURITANS IN ENGLAND

Oh. Stand back and let me paint you a rich narrative, then:
So some assholes decided they wanted to be the head Christfags because they disagreed with current head Christfags because they disagreed on philosophical issues so incredibly minute that I'm pretty sure no one even then gave a flying fuck. Then there was a civil war and this guy named Oliver Cromwell did some shit then he became Lord Protectorate then some assholes came over to this shithole called America and yeah. I think they did that shit before the civil war, actually.

Now I just need to figure out if the Calvinists and the Puritans were exactly the same thing (are Puritans a subset of Calvinists? the other way around?)

Same shit, different asshole.

I tend to be resentful of Milton's prose tracts because they can be dense to wade through

ALSO BORING AS SHIT, GODDAMN.

but once you are in it, it is wonderful; he knows just how to make rhetoric compelling.

NO HE DOESN'T. SHUT UP.
Milton was so incredibly boring even to himself that he frequently wandered off on totally irrelevant subjects only to barely tie it back into whatever he was saying.

Today I shall blather about Isabella Whitney and how charming the entire conceit of "Her Will to London" (1573)

No you shan't, because I'm not reading it.

Dryden's not all bad; when he teams up with Horace (who is also not all bad), he can be engaging. From Dryden's translation of Horace:

Sorry, just drooled all over myself. Wow, this is dire.

I rushed to the library restroom, scrubbing my hands (probably doing a plausible impression of Lady Macbeth) and wondering what idiot ever thought that the kind of faucets you have to press down on to get water from were hygienic

Oh because Lady Macbeth scrubbed her hands to get blood that wasn't there off.
Oh man, between this, having to get up early for shitty group work, and the song that just popped up, I think it's nap time.
Feels like I just took some antihistamine, shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

Here it is

The ultimate Method 1 seed for Pokemon:
d2140289
Turn the date to 2051 and enjoy your all 31 IV wondercard Pokemon, pussies.
Don't say I never did anything for you.
If that's not enough information because you're a lazy fucker like all my Pokebros, then your target time is 4/26/2051 at 20:56:50 and your target delay is 598 with your coin app at HHHHTTTHHH and a frame of 114. Add two to the frame for 116, divide by two and you have to flip your journal 58 times.
Onto less pressing issues: Healthcare Reform.

It may surprise you, but downloading 15 - 24" X 36" technical drawings takes more than a millisecond.

This is surprising because I have no fucking clue what that means. Do you mean 15 24x36 drawings? As in inches? Shouldn't that be in terms of resolution if it's on the computer?
Who the fuck knows?

Also if you're using a printer/scanner optimized for Windows 7 and you refuse to upgrade to Service Pack 3 for your XP there are going to be a few glitches.

I'll be sure to keep this in mind next time I'm upgrading my XP machine-- wait.

I sound like I know what I'm talking about don't I?

Not really, since by my calculations 24x36 is about 2305x3450, which I would fully expect to finish up in a couple of seconds if you were on any sort of business connection.

But I am right about the computer problems.

I guess?

I realize I may have a problem drawing the line between real animals and game animals. I caught myself thinking about how much pain the pretend goats and cows would be in if I didn't go back to milk them every day and came to the conclusion I need to step away from the Farmville.

Reading about a game on Facetube.
This is good, really.

Someone asked me yesterday if I'd rather date a chain smoker or a Republican and I couldn't decide.

I'm not sure I'd want to date anyone who defines themselves primarily through their political affiliation, but that's just me.
Of course if a bitch is chain smoking she's going to get lung cancer and then I'll have to console her and take her to the doctor and shit, so--

I forgot. I wasn't going to talk politics ever again. Please disregard the last two paragraphs.

I know you're not very good at computer but there is something called a delete button. Just putting it out there.

Selective amnesia and name calling is no way to run a country. Grow up. Accept the facts.

Are you shitting me? That's how every government ever has worked.

I just want to smack everyone who believes the hate and fear mongering and tell them to look past what the beauty contestant is telling them and get the facts. My parents may now be able to afford to buy their prescriptions AND food, clothing, and shelter. Damn Democrats are ruining their life.

Wait-- huh?

If I have to lock replies to this post I will. See if I don't!

Oh look at you! Mrs. BLAH BLAH BLAH SELECTIVE AMNESIA AND NAME CALLING IS BAD followed up with IF I HAVE TO CENSOR YOU I WILL! Brilliant.

Really, I want all this politics stuff to go away. I don't want to hear it.

So shut your fucking face, stupid. You're the only one gabbing about it that I can see.

In other news, I haven't made the time to edit my book and my family keeps buying copies and reading it in all its "dirty word" glory. I have to admit chapter 2 is a little bit... blue.

Uhh-- aren't you supposed to edit first and then publish? I'm pretty sure that's the order of events.

I still haven't found anyone willing to help me. I know where I have problems with it, but it would be nice to know if there are other places that other people have trouble with it.

Well I am very busy writing critiques of such classics as "The Morgesons" (no one has heard of it either, don't worry) but I might be willing to take time out of my very busy schedule of exploiting the RNG for Pokemon to lend a hand. And by "hand" I mean "say mean things about your shitty book".

Speaking of my baby daddy - he asked me out again. I think I'll take out a full page ad in the newspaper stating in big letters "WE'RE DIVORCED FOR A REASON SO GET LOST!!!!" I'm dithering between four exclamation points and five. I want him to realize I'm serious, but I don't want to be ostentatious. Thoughts?

Yeah. Buy one of these.
Everyone knows you mean business now.
Anyone else feel a little uncomfortable that Germany is allowed to develop things called the "machine pistol"?
I know it has been 70-something years but you guys have a history. That's all I'm saying.

Oh mom, you haven't seen a tiny fraction of the dirty words I've used over the years.

How edgy. Number of "dirty words" on her front page? 0. Number of times "fuck" has appeared on my front page (3 entries, not counting when other people say it)? 13.
Who honestly fucking cares, seriously? What, I'm suddenly cool because I say fuck a lot? No, I'm not fucking cool. I look like a fucking moron.
Now there are a lot of posts about national write a book month or whatever the fuck-- I don't get it, honestly. The goal is to write 50,000 words in a month, basically, and I guess I fail to see how counting words means you've written a book. Most good books take more than a month to write, you know--
Further, I'm fairly certain most (good) authors aren't literally handcuffed to a word count. I somehow seriously doubt J.D. Salinger was counting down from 50,000 when he wrote Catcher in the Rye and the second he hit the big 50k he just ended his story midthought.
Well I know the latter part didn't happen, having read it and all.
Which brings me to another good point: people don't know how to write anymore. Catcher in the Rye was short because Salinger knew how to express a thought and roughly how long each point he wanted to express should be. He didn't get all self indulgent and shit.
Oh, and since he died a few (last, even?) month ago, the "best author currently living" position is vacant.
Time to step up, bloggers (har har).
You know that old saying that if you have an infinite number of monkeys writing on an infinite number of typewriters they'll eventually generate Paradise Lost? The entire blogger culture is more like five monkeys with four typewriters and one is infected with the rage virus.
Well anyway, enjoy your Friday, faggots. I have to go write a lesson plan for high school kids.
I think Dante's Inferno is appropriate high school reading.

Time to relax~

I found a good blog that had especially small font. "I could review this," I said, "but I think I'm going to do something else instead. Going for a little break~"
With my new quest in mind, I've been sitting here for several minutes struggling to find a blog that even meets my vision requirements, let alone content requirements. I think this is sort of like how in Pokemon less than 1% of all wild Pokemon will meet an "all 31 IV" requirement, and most of those require you to do shit you wouldn't do in normal gameplay (like flipping the journal 510 times [that was a lot of fun]), and I've just added the additional requirement of "it has to be shiny as well," so I'm looking at, what, a 1:190,000,000 for my odds?
And that's assuming the RNG can even generate that spread. Things like "all 31 IVs and adamant" don't even exist.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is I should probably breed the blog instead of trying to catch it.
Err, wait, no, that wasn't my point.
What was my point again?
Well, anyway, it looks like I'm not escaping the religion theme today. It's Wednesday, and I can only assume that means something to the religious because that's all I see today.

One common misconception is that faith is blind and that some just believe in God without proof that he exists, but the bible itself contradicts that belief.

Oh. We have a problem, then.
Wait, isn't that the definition of faith? That you just kind of believe without needing proof?
If you had proof of something existing and believed in it, wouldn't that be-- I don't know-- being rational?

So is there convincing evidence or Empirical evidence that God (our creator) exists?

Empirical (that is, quantifiable and testable) proof for something that supposedly exists outside of the boundaries of-- no, skipping this nonsense.

Remember my followers, when I stated God told me that he shall PUNISH Washington D.C. for it's evil democratic socialists ways.

What, are you a Royalist or some shit? Talk about old butthurts, good grief.
I guess my main problem with this blog is he starts every entry with "on vox" which is how pretty much all Space Marines open up any radio contact, so I feel kind of cheated to be greeted with... THIS.

The true colors of this EVIL America have now been shown around the world. Racism, violence, stupidity and much more has been shown.

You heard it here first: America invented violence.

God never lies and God speeds.

... The bolt that kills our enemies.
No, fuck, sorry. Warhammer again.

There is one more sing or miracle of God that Ihave stated yesterday that has not happened yet.

The heavy bolter roars praise to the Emperor-- man I wish this was a blog about Warhammer.

It is the civil war fueld by hurricane Katrina between the mexicans and the white man.

... What?

Many atheist have begun to start commenting my joutnal post trying to prove God does not exist through logic

Christ all mighty.
IDIOTS: YOU CANNOT PROVE SOMETHING DOES NOT EXIST.

Well I have decided to fight fire with fire. I am now posting 666 reasons, using logic, proving at least partially God does exist. (this is not my work)

It's at this point in Warhammer there'd be talk of the 666 methods of killing the demon, but I guess this is fine too.
If you're stupid.
Oh, what?
>666 reasons
>only 99 reasons posted
I got 99 problems but the bitch ain't one?

Word of God cometh to I and the Pontiff, he has stated a civil war shall break out between races. Fueled by hurrican Katrina, a war shall break out between the white man and mexicans before the end of March maybe.

Well we have eight days left in March so it may be a little premature to call you stupid, but I feel fairly safe in calling you on it anyway.
Remember that "civil war" between the "races" of "white men" and "Mexicans" (Mexican isn't a race)? I sure do. It was pretty brutal, shit. Why, just today I was walking to class, minding my own business when one of my school's many Mexican exchange students said hi to me. HI, TO ME!? Well, I could let this brutal melee ensue, so I hit him with the ultimate attack: "hi, how are you doing?" Fucking Mexico.
Unless we're using the old term for "race" which is basically any discreet grouping of people (like a family, even), in which case I'm pretty sure you'd use the term "nation" for "white men", but whatever.

Thankyou for reading this important sermon. Richard Dawkins is the author of the evil, heretical book entitled "The God Delusion". The book specifically states with science and probability God does not exists.

Ah statistics. The Devil's Arithmetic.

Throughout the book he states reasons that God does exist and then tries to dis-prove them.

I'm sorry I'm suddenly reminded of an argument I had with a friend when I was six.
"OPTIMUS PRIME EXISTS!" spake I.
"NO HE DOESN'T, YOU'RE STUPID!"
Well, you were half right, friend.
We were both stupid. For arguing about stupid shit.

His writings skills seem they need to improve, but for his heretical soul he shall die before.

Talk about the pot calling the kettle black, good grief.

Looking at his appearance is a curse itself for the beholder of the eyes. Only at the age of 66, he owns the appearance of a 85 year-old man. This is surely a curse from God.

Yes, the international bestselling author who is happily married with children sure got told.
I don't even know the guy, but Christ, he seems like a pretty poor specimen for a "curse" if I've ever seen one. SUCCESSFUL FAMILY MAN? GOD'S CURSE IS UPON HIM!

A knight must be thin to weild the sword, so that is what we must do.

I'd think a knight must be in shape to wield a sword but whatever. This is really fucking dumb.
... Don't you talk about anything else, ever? Goddamn, I'd rather read about some dumb girl and her boyfriend troubles than this. At least that was-- I'm not even going to finish that thought. Both suck, fuck it.
And that appears to be his entire Blog. I guess he's new to the greatest community IN THE WORLD so be sure to give him a warm welcome :3

OWNER OF A LONELY HEART

MUCH BETTER THAN A
OWNER OF A BROKEN HEART

It's all out there and I want it back. Now that you know, the pain just digs so much deeper. Is it guilt? Self pity? WHAT?? I don't know what to do.

Come to think of it, I can't believe that song's lyrics have defied this page so long. Remember all those times shit like this has come up and I've said something to the effect of "I feel like I'm missing a really obvious joke"? Well, I think I know what that really obvious joke is now. Yes lyrics, of course.
And they are a joke (burn, Yes)

We're utterly stuck, unable to grant each others wishes. Both in pain, and helpless to change it. *sigh*... what are we going to do?...

Like dust in the wind, dude.
Deeeeeeep.

You're finally feeling what I've been feeling for a year now. I wish I could take away that hurt, because it's killing me to know that it's killing you. You love her... I know that. I have known that. However... "That doesn't mean I don't have feelings for you... but..." Wait... what??... Stop. You can't be serious... "I almost kissed you once you know." No... it's not true. It's not fucking true...

Shiiiiit. What are we talking about, again?

"I don't want to break her heart." he says, "Everyone gets their heart broken..." "But I don't want to be that guy..." You wanna know something?... You don't have to be dating someone to break their heart... you are that guy... whether you realize it or not.

Oh man it reads like the script to FFXIII suddenly.
I WILL PROTECT YOU, SERA
Jesus shit it's like 57 thousand hours in can we please move on?
"COME ON, THEN," says Australia (can't be bothered to remember names), "WE'RE ALL TOGETHER!" (cute laugh noise) OH MY GOOOOD THIS GAME, MAN. THIS FUCKING GAME.
I should have knooooown I was in for some shit when the theme song was sung by LEONA LEWIS. WHO IS THAT? I DON'T KNOW, BUT I DON'T LIKE THE CUT OF HER GIB.
Sorry she's bitching about something (boy trouble, presumably) and I had a meltdown about Final Fantasy.

College. Work. Love. Faith. Friends. It's all a jumbled piece of mixed up garbage that's currently going through the trash compactor of my soul, waiting to be spit out into a nice neat little cube of something managable that I can toss over a fucking cliff.

The world's most tortured metaphor, Jesus Christ.

Of course, I don't really have any enemies either, but you get the point. No one should have to suffer through my psychological nonsense. I mean look at this crap. What am I even saying?

I don't know, that's what I was asking you.
If you don't even know we're in some shit.

All the tiny pieces of her... one by one, they die. And like a hurricane of corpses, the whirlwind created by the lost souls finally settle at the bottom of her being.

Someone just finished reading Dante's Inferno.

There, they sit. They wait. She wonders if anyone will ever pick them up, if not out of pity, then perhaps curiosity, like a child who cradles something in their hand that they do not understand.

...
Sorry I started reading The Inferno.
Just came to my favorite part.
Well not my favorite part, but a good part:

and I began: 'Francesca, your torments
make me weep for grief and pity,
'but tell me, in that season of sweet sighs,
how and by what signs did Love
acquaint you with your hesitant desires?'
And she to me: 'There is no greater sorrow
than to recall our time of joy
in wretchedness --

I was going to quote the part where the people are trapped in the whirlwind but I decided that part was cooler.

Why is it that the only thing I ever get for Christmas is a fucking broken heart. The only fear in life that I have has been confirmed, and I'm utterly useless now... and right before finals. Great.

Ah, it's always the existential questions that undo us.
See I can write epic lines too.
I don't think that's the right meter, come to think of it. Oh well, poetry.

Now all I have to do is sit here and let my wounded heart fester in my stomach. Maybe if I throw up, I can just throw it away and be done with it... damn thing is useless when you're alone anyway...

I don't think your heart is in your stomach. It has admittedly been a while since I've studied anatomy, but I'm almost positive your heart resides somewhere in your chest.

The experience also made me reflect on my own childhood, and I remebered that I would never "play" if there was someone else in the room, unless I was playing with them. If someone entered the room, I immediately stopped what I was doing, sometimes even trying to hide my toys from their eyes. Why? What was I afraid of?

Here's another good part:

Cerberus, fierce and monstrous beast,
barks from three gullets like a dog
over the people underneath that muck.
His eyes are red, his beard a greasy black,
his belly swollen. With his taloned hands
he claws the spirits, flays and quarters them.

Oh yeah, this bullshit. Sorry.
Giant worm Cerberus is pretty cool, though.
Now I've read and copied about five lines, read them, reread them and realize I have absolutely nothing to say about it. I'm not sure what to say to you, Sarcasticmuse23 (oi).

I realized something today. I want someone who's dangerous. Not dangerous like, date a serial killer. Dangerous for me, for my well being.

Translation: I want a guy who treats me like shit.
Good work, though. Come to this conclusion all by yourself, did you?

Maybe... spiritually challenging, would be better terminology. Anyway, I mean, I knew that already, but I think I realized why.

Spiritually challenging? Like, what, someone who calls your beliefs stupid?
Because I'd be willing to do that, shit.

Because being with somebody dangerous means there's a chance I'll get hurt. A chance for pain. GOD, why am I so self destructive??

You know what this blog needs (besides to go away)? Some nice, sugary pop music. Some stupid nothing in the background to balance out the MELODRAMA.

What I want most is always something I'll never have. You stupid emotional masochist. Why is "happy" so revolting? Hope so inconceivable?

Hooooo me. Big yawn.
Uhhh--Oh, story time:

"She slumped further into herself, as the weight of her mood drug her down, deeper and deeper, until she was almost drowning in her own thick aura. The utter heaviness of her heart made breathing difficult, and unnecessary. Despair was not with her, but left her lonely in front of her keyboard, begging for words that would not come.

Hold, I must recompose myself.
Wow, I seem to have forgotten how to read after that.

Anyway, basically, I feel like shit. Which is depressing, because I thought this would make me a lot happier. I don't even know who I am anymore.

I always love it when people say shit like that. I DON'T KNOW WHO I AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM! My natural instinct when I hear that is to hit them on the nose with a rolled up newspaper. STOP THAT. BAD.
Well this entry has already dragged on far too long, but with a picture of Godzilla and lines from Dante's Inferno I feel it's sufficiently awesome now.

ಠ_ಠ

Well I solved the great mystery of "what the fuck happened to the sections on Livejournal?" If one registers (ugh), clicks on the "communities" section, then clicks on the teeny tiny "life" section barely visible above the search bar, one is then free to browse this high quality content after watching a brief (30 second) commercial.
Goooooooood.
But it was all worth it, because I found this fascinating romp into pretentiousness.
Today I'm going to have a little contest with myself. I'm not allowed to say "cool story, bro" and the second I want to default to that response the entry ends.

All of my favorite characters-- in literature, in history-- are hard-headed women who are completely unafraid to speak their mind, who are sure of themselves and are correct to be so confident. I call these women "badass" and their badassery intrigues me to no end.

Cool story br-- FUCK. One more time, okay. That was a practice run.
Uhhh--
Uhh--

-Scarlett O'Hara (Gone with the Wind, as always my first and foremost fictional fascination) (WIN for alliteration!) (WIN for rhyming!)
-Dominique Francon (The Fountainhead)
-Joan of Arc-Cleopatra
-Paulina (The Winter's Tale)
-Hermione (The Winter's Tale)-Melisande Shahrizai (Kushiel's Legacy series)
-Eva Peron

That's funny. All my favorite characters in literature never whine once.
I guess Joan of Arc didn't (except when she was getting burned to death, but I think she's within her rights at that point). Other than her, though, fuck this list.
Also I'm amazed you stayed awake through The Winter's Tale. Well, not entirely, since it's boring and you're a bore so you have a lot in common, but I know personally I entered a twilight coma to get through it.
Fuck pastorals.THAT'S ONE OF SHAKESPEARE'S PROBLEM PLAYS BECAUSE IT'S REALLY DRAMATIC--
Great, don't give a shit.

I admire their badassery and I aspire to it, to varying degrees depending on the character in question. For each of these women, I want to be them, at least a little bit. That is one of the reasons I will propose Winter's Tale, because it has a high concentration of the kind of badassery I so love.

Don't you have to do something to be badass? I always thought so, anyway. Like when Kenshiro punches people and their heads explode and he doesn't whine once during it. Sort of like that.
You know then a guy asks for mercy and he says something like "you gave none, so none shall you receive," and then the guy's already dead.
What'd Scarlet O'Hara do, exactly? I don't honestly know, having never read the book and I fell asleep during the movie (watched it in school, so I was killing like five birds with one stone by falling asleep).

I have been pondering something which is VERY exciting to me. So I am going to share my ponderings :)

Great.Can't wait!

Last semester I was pondering proposing a show. Pericles, Prince of Tyre, to be exact.

Sounds pretty-- Zzzzzzzz.

Winter's Tale lends itself VERY well to a fairy-tale motif, somewhat more so in the second part of the play, which takes place in mainly in Bohemia.

DE COLOHRLESS GRAY FOHG SWEPT EHCROSS BOLETARIA
No, wait, that's Demon's Souls.
Also good work, Demon's Souls. Wouldn't "gray fog" by definition be colorless?
Whatever.

I'm not sure yet precisely what I want to do with these elements, from a design perspective; but I love them so very, very, very much, and I've been thinking about it near-constantly for the past couple of days.

Wow you're really boring.

My antisocial-ness springs from laziness most of the time, or from feeling a lack of interestingness; and then because I am feeling this way, being antisocial perpetuates my feeling uninteresting, and creates in me a sense of being adrift.

Ooph, that was a lot of douchiness to take at once.
Hold on, feeling a little winded after that.
Okay, proceed.

So last night, Walter and Charlotte and I went to see the Vagina Monologues.

Oh? How much were they paying you?
Goddamn, leave it to these high-minded pretentious assholes to make vaginas boring.
I didn't think that was physically possible, but I guess true douchebaggery reigns.

I have been waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak, on my study abroad application for quite some time now.

Oh where are you headed?I would bet it's either England or France.
Probably England.

I have been waiting to go to Argentina for literally my entire life.

Oh.Didn't see that one coming, anyway.

And this morning, during yoga, the idea hit me that I might not get approval...

During Yoga huh huh lllllllllllllllllllllll

Which isn't to say that I didn't fit into the homogeneity; after all, I am Jewish and I look it.

Ah that means your mom is Jewish.
Only goes matrilineally, don't you know.

This morning in Econ Stats, I experienced a thought of such profound geekitude that I just had to share it:

"Friends, Romans, Countrymen" is Antony's construction of a 99% confidence interval to test the null hypotheses that Caesar was ambitious, and that Brutus is an honorable man.

Hold on, hold on:

For those of you who don't speak statistics: the null hypothesis is a claim that you make about a given population, which you hope to reject after you construct a confidence interval.

Yes, surprisingly I, too, had to sit through elementary statistics as well.

a 99% confidence interval will be more accurate than a 95% interval.

Good, good, keep it coming. I have aaaaaaaaaaaaaaall day.

Today I was productive. It was like a great switch turned on in my brain (with particular respect to microeconomics) and I could figure out the problem set I've been puzzling over for days now.

Cool story br--Ah fuck, I guess that's it, then.
Oh well. I had a good run, one false start notwithstanding.
In fact, I'm going so far as to give myself the Chef Excellence stamp of approval:

Oh my God Livejournal come on man

So it looks like Livejournal has redone their front page. It's completely the same upon a cursory scan but one critical button is missing: Journals. It looks like I can no longer browse the life section. Or any section at all for that matter.
I then discovered I could search by category or school, which is fantastic if you want to read the philosophical ramblings of a 14 year old made five years ago (no thanks). I'm fairly certain this feature has always existed but had previously been locked out to people not registered (oh hi me). I debated registering to see if they had just switched browse and search, but the fantastic Livejournal registration system wouldn't allow me an account, so who the fuck knows?
Of course the "Shop" button is still healthy and intact, so fantastic. Wouldn't want to do anything to that, would you, you cunts? Fuck blogging.
Fortunately Deadjournal, that oft-neglected emo sister to Livejournal, stands intact and ready to please.
If that sounded Freudian that was the idea. Anyway, here we go: Papyrus of Ani.

As of late, I feel like i'm here for no reason. Like I don't matter to anyone, except Raiden.

... The god of lightning?
He's basically Zeus but in Japan. Also not the lead god because their lead god is a girl (kind of an unusual feature in mythology, that). Although I think you can make a strong argument for the central figure in Greek mythology being Athena and not Zeus, even though Zeus is in charge of the whole operation.

And the only reason I matter to him is because I feed him and change him.

I don't think Raiden (or Raijin if you're not American. And fat) would need fed or changed. I bet he can take care of himself pretty handily, in fact.

And while I know he'd miss me if I was gone.

Were* gone. I don't know why I bother with something that freakishly subtle when 99% of the internet doesn't know the difference between your and you're, but it bothered me.

He'd eventually just stop missing me and because he's so young, maybe even forget about me.

You named your kid Raiden?
What the fuck is the matter with you?

I wish my cramps were worse. Right now, i'm thinking I deserve it. I can't believe how fucking stupid I am.

I can't believe you named your fucking kid Raiden. What's wrong with Roger?

Not a single day has gone by that I haven't cried. While i've already kind of realized things have gone back to normal, I don't want to admit it.

This is why I don't visit Deadjournal very often. All of the blogs (and I do mean all of them) are written in this incredibly cryptic language. I know Livejournal often does that but at least on Livejournal it's book ended by Bible quotes or Naruto quotes (or both for some reason) so you can at least get a vague impression of what's going on.
Not so on Deadjournal, so you're left with two contradictory thoughts of wanting to know what's happening but not giving a shit at the same time.

I want to remember how beautiful and loved he makes me feel.

Hurr durr I'm a hurr.

Every time I think about how beautiful things were just a week ago and how they are now. I break down and cry.

That was then, this is now, focus not on the past or the future but on the ever-present now, etc etc

I need even more love and support than before he left. Where am I supposed to turn? I'm going from day to day feeling like i'm barely surviving this pain.

Ha, ha okay, Linkin Park. Excuse me, I have some new Pokemon games to play.

With this much pain and what sometimes feels like noone to share it with,

Why is it people always want to share shit with Peter Noone? Is he some sort of sage and I didn't know? (Lead singer for Herman's Hermits [ask your grandmother]).

I think part of the problem is I still haven't come to terms with everything. In my mind I go to sleep thinking that maybe tomorrow all our problems will be solved and we'll at least have a plan.

People think too much when they go to sleep, Jesus Christ.
Now there are ten thousand words that I'm not reading. I'm suddenly reminded I have to finish The Morgesons this weekend, though.
Oh all right, I'll make an effort to read this.

As soon as we got back to the hotel room and just put down our luggage and focused on eachother, it was the most beautiful, natural loving thing in the world.

Kind of sorry I started reading this now, good grief.

I sat on the couch and he just started kissing me, I returned all this and, of course, the kissing led to making out and touching.

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-- gross, fat girl vag.

Making love to him was perfect. Feeling totally at ease and in love. Being so in sync and looking eachother in the eyes while saying how much you love eachother.

Each other is two words. I'm sure Peter Noone would tell you this.

Every time we made love it was a physical and a spiritual thing.

Ah, I know what you mean. One time I had a ball of wax in my ear that I swear must have been the size of my fist that I finally got out.
It was almost a moral victory, that's how good it felt.

I usually feel really cuddly and lovey at this time. And in a way, I do. I'm just afraid if I think too much about it that it will just make me sad. There has been no doubts this last month or so that the 25th of January was when Jav was supposed to be out here.

I think Jav is her husband and he's either dead (based off her posts it's really hard to tell) or he's away, possibly in a war somewhere?

10:09pm

I don't feel loved. I don't feel wanted. Since Sat nothing has gotten better. I play by myself just to feel something.

Fat girl touching herself.
I can see myself turning into that stereotypical starved for attention wife that will get it wherever she can.

I WANT TO FUCKING FEEL SOMETHING

So you say you want to feel something because you can't, longing being an emotion you supposedly can't feel.
Wow. That just blew my mind, man.

I just want this fucking feeling to go away..

But I thought YOU JUST WANTED TO FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL SOOOOOOOOOMETHING :(

I'm proud of myself for not writing during my emo phase.

Excuse me? You didn't write during your emo phase? Doesn't that imply what you're writing right now is somehow not emo, or worse, that you can somehow be more emo than this?
I'm trying to imagine you even whinier than you are now, and quite frankly it's difficult to comprehend.In fact I'm left with only one thing left to say:Also I hope Livejournal gets its shit together Friday.

What-- oh

Well I was going to review some yo-yo's blog because he fancied himself a MASTER OF KUNG FU but apparently he really was, so I guess I'll skip that. Meditating under waterfalls and mastering the ultimate punch are what blogs should be about, really.
But don't interpret my passing this as acceptance of his bullshit. It isn't. Unless you're Ryu from Street Fighter I don't want to hear from it.

Ok. Right Now. I'm meant to be reading ICE (Institution of Civil Engineers) Presidential Address.
But Hell. Are they boring!

Yeah and I'm supposed to be reading the Book of Job. Don't hear me posting about it-- hey wait.

I seriously hate uni work.

OOOHHHH! The latest episode of Desperate Housewives is on 4od! YAY!
I've not seen it yet!

DAMN! Need to stop procrastinating!
FRICK!

Stupid uni *mutters*

Love.

So... Boy, or girl?

Yeah, so I'm sitting on facebook chat.
Was talking to one of my friends casually, about the bridge we're building tomorrow, and he asks me a really random question;

'Blair
so who u liking these days?

Oh but if you ask Blair out Chie's Arcana will go in reverse-- sorry, I probably shouldn't get my dating tips from Persona.

22:04Owen
haha
eh
no-one
yourself??

22:05Blair
nobody really
like there are obv oh i wuld girls
like diane lol

Excuse me?
Oh I'm sorry I broke one of my cardinal rules for Edie Finds a Corpse updating: no fucking MSN conversations.

'I thought you'd be spending some time with that girl you're going out with?'
Another door got slammed. That was me out of there.

So... Boy?

I swear, if murder weren't illegal, there'd be a dead woman in my kitchen.

Wait, why?
I TOLD YOU MOTHER I'M NOT DATING THAT ICKY GIIIIIIIIIIRL~

'You don't understand how lucky you are getting everything you get, your car, a house, don't need to pay for food, don't need to pay rent.'

"Yeah man. Feels good."

'I'm sorry, I pay for my car, I've offered you money when you go shopping, and you said I was stupid for asking if you wanted dig money!'

'You know, it pains me to know that you can't talk to me about things, I don't believe there was ever a girl you were seeing, and I'm not surprised she was seeing one of your friends, you are always here!'

Shit, burn.

*SLAM*

She followed me through to my room, and said some other things that I can't remember.

I suppose running off butthurt is a response (not a good one, but a response).

About three months ago, I started seeing a girl from uni, a nice girl, she was quite quiet, but when in company of friends, she would always come out of her shell. I liked this girl. The first nice girl I had liked in a while. And one, surprisingly enough, who liked me too.

So I put my Hitmonlee (Bruce :3) into my Pokewalker and I'm racking up exp and watts now, just by walking around and twitching! This new Pokemon game is fucking awesome. It's like I'm really living a healthy lifestyle all of a sudden.
All games should come with little doodads like this.
Oh right, you.

So I took her out on a date, which went very well, we went for dinner, then went to meet up with the rest of our friends.
We had a good night, we laughed, we danced, and banter was had.

Then things got strange, just under a week later, she stopped replying to my texts, she barely talked to me, whenever we met up, she couldn't look at me with a straight face.

She's mad at you. You're not sure why.
There might not be a reason.
There might be a reason. It might not make sense to you.
There might be a reason. It might be something you did.
There might be a reason. It might be something you did, but didn't mean for it to be interpreted that way.
There might be a reason. It might be something you did, but forgot.

Just when me and all my friends thought it was going to get slightly more serious.
A friend from my course in uni had phoned me saying 'I've just seen ------, with another guy,'

"Oh well blimey, guess it's time to find a new bird then, roight mates?"
Britfags.

My life is fucked.

Bitches and hos, man. Bitches and hos.
Don't let her get you down, right. Come on, let's go to the pub and whatever else you British people do.

My topics of conversation tonight have been rather weird.
1 - 'Sarah Jessica Parker is ugly. Discuss!'

She looks like a horse and her forehead is really freaking me out.

Why some people would choose to live alone, not because they're happy that way,
but because they're too scared to take the jump and see if they like someone.

Bet you're rethinking these wise words now, aren't you?
Oh no, I can't seem to move back maybe this is it--
Oh man, it is! Hurray, I'm done early!
Time to run some laps while listening to The Karate Kid soundtrack. Also training a fighting Pokemon at the same time.
Fantastic. It's like I'm really training for something important!
RAIN DANCE TEAMS ARE A WRECKING MACHINE, ROCK.
IF YOU WANNA BEAT 'EM, YOU GOTTA EAT THUNDER AND CRAP LIGHTNING!
(combining quotes)

Super Fun Japanese Time!

Let's follow this simple chain of logic, shall we?
so if this: 木is a tree, and this: 森 (three trees stacked on top of each other) is a forest, and this:　火 is fire, and three fires stacked on top of each other like this: 焱 is flames, then what happens when you stack 女 (woman)?
Why, you get 姦, which as near as I can tell is no longer in common use (probably due to it being a pain in the dick to write) but its two most common meanings in order are "wicked" followed by "rape".
What does this tell us? Asian languages are inherently sexist? Women are evil?
Actually I'm not sure what my point was. I just found it kind of funny. I was reminded of it because today's subject wants to get a tattoo with those super-mysterious Chinese letters.
Those Han characters are crafty, they are. They never work quite like you'd expect.

I mean, this is the thing: today it's just all about breathing in, breathing out and knowing that you're exactly where you're meant to be.

Oh is that the thing? Breathing is important? Yeah, kind of figured that out a while ago.

Isn't it? I think it is.

I have an ocean's worth of love in my heart this morning. An ocean's worth. <3>

Funny I have an ocean of disgust in my heart for you.
Her next entry is entitled "why this Icon for this entry is the one tattoo I would get"
and it's a picture of this: 龍 which means dragon. It kind of looks like it, too. If you imagine the top left part is the head, then the bottom left part is the body then that shit on the side is a tail-- yeah you kind of have to use your imagination.

The Fire Dragon is a powerful force to be reckoned with. This is a Dragon doubled! The Fire Dragon can move from calm and collected to combustible in a matter of seconds.

Last dragon I fought was a complete pussy. The cutscene introducing the dragon took longer than the actual fight itself.
FFXIII, I am so disappoint.

The dogs are like, what are you doing?

I'm like...I'm brushing my teeth.

They're like, is there any possible way we could provide assistance?

Regular Homer at this storytelling thing, aren't you?

Perhaps if we stand closer to you? Oh, is that your foot? My apologies. What are you doing now?
I'm like...I'm going to bed! We have hung out all day!

They're like, but say, just before you go? How about a bedtime story?

And then I was like, uh-uh, girlfriend!

well, that about maxes out my Spanish abilities. yo quiero taco bell. And there you have it. Tonight, I celebrated September 1st by attending a meetup in Old Town for the Wild Women of the Vine of San Diego. For an introvert, this is a fairly egregious undertaking: you have to go out, after work, and talk to people you don't know.

*cowers in corner*

It trips me out when I chat with G online and she's all, yesterday I saw the Dalai Lama in person and tomorrow I'm going rafting in the Himalayas! :) And I'm all, I'm just sitting at my desk.

wait no, let me write like you:
so you're all "I'm a huge a cunt"
and I'm like ಠ_ಠ at your dumb fucking posts.

this morning, the air outside smells salty, like the ocean, and even though I live 8 miles from the sea, I can almost hear the waves crashing.

OH, AN ENTIRE 8 MILES.
You know back in the day they believed living close to the ocean turned you into a manipulative, backstabbing asshole.
Not making that up, either.

is it possible to wish for things as they once were and simultaneously have no desire to go back to the past?

Shut up.

I was born in July. The full moon in July is sometimes known as the Oak Moon, which was waxing on the day of my birth. Ancient lore tells that the moon that governs your month of birth can predict a great deal about your character and challenges in life....

Yeah, ancient lore also prescribes pouring bull piss on a snake bite. Not exactly scientific, ancient thinkers.

I am going to poke my eyeballs out with hot burning sticks.

The end!

Yeaaaaaaaah pulling a Polyphemus. Awesome.

I have discovered that my thought process, which is nonlinear at the best of times, is so completely random in the mornings that I confuse even myself.

You're such a cunt even you stand aghast at your douchebaggery. Good fucking work, Columbo (?) (not really sure what prompted that)
Also I fucking love it when people equate confusing to deep or genius thinking.
How the fuck is it Albert Einstein could explain some of the most complex scientific principles in such a way that even children can spout off what it means yet you chucklefucks can't even explain the simplest workings of your day without stumbling over some elementary grammatical concept or relying on the most douche-shiver inducing language imaginable?
The reason is simple: Albert Einstein was actually a genius. You people are just idiots with egomania.

The fragrance you bought three years ago that you now hate because it reminds you of your ex-boyfriend but it cost $9234962345 dollars and you can't throw that shit away!

WOMEN, AM I RIGHT GUYS?
Well I guess that's everything I wanted to say about today's fucking blogger.
Remember, Pokemon SoulSilver (or HeartGold if you're stupid. And 10.) Sunday better have that shit on preorder for your free doll action figure~

You're a what?

Oh I get it, you're a HURRRRRRRR DURRR DERP DERP
You'll forgive me for not giving this my undivided, because, well--
Also I have two, two, two entire Pokemon to train for a big tournament coming up. You know how it is.

I ran into a friend of mine whom I used to see 2-3 times per week and whom I am now only seeing about 1-2 times per month. When I saw him, I walked towards him, waiting for him to turn and smile at me, like he always does.

Haven't I read this? I don't mean this in a funny "all blogs are the same" way, either. Haven't I literally read this word for word elsewhere?

He has a killer smile that makes me feel awesome when he smiles for me. He turned and smiled, but something was different. The smile was just as large as ever, but still something was different.

He has a girlfriend oh no what a trage--Zzzzzzzzzzz

The smile was just as large as ever, but still something was different. Then she came over and he smiled at her the smile that used to be just for me. Oh. Wow. That means he liked me like... I didn't realize... Wow.

Oh I'm so right how do I do-- actually I read this entry before I started.
The next entry is called, what is it, "Wiccan Feminist Mormon Rantings". I had to check that about five times to make sure I had it right. Wiccan Feminist-- Mormon--

There was a big earthquake in Chile, but the missionaries from our church were very well taken care of because a couple of weeks before the earthquake, the Mission President's wife awoke in the middle of the night with a very distinct message from God regarding preparations to be made for earthquake safety. She told her husband in the morning and together they implemented some safety policies, inspected missionary apartments for earthquake soundness, etc. etc.

Hmm one might wonder why missionaries wouldn't seek to warn the people of this but I guess self-preservation ranks high. Additionally, mentally sound people (even Christfags, apparently) don't put much stock in dreams.

AND it's awesome that the Mission President believed and acted upon his wife's premonitions. There aren't very many scripture stories by righteous women and we don't have any books of scripture written by women, so I'm happy to see church history unfold with women playing integral roles in it.

>Mormon Church
>history
Yeah, okay.

Last Sunday, the First Counselor in the Bishopric made a remark over the pulpit about a typo in the program and one of the speakers did also. I believe that the speaker was happy with the typo and thought it cute because he smiled a good smile when he said it.

The what? Bishopric? Bishop prick? That's not very nice.

I paid off one of my student loans with my tax return, or I thought I did. I logged in to see my success and it says I still owe $0.25 because of the interest they charged for the week of that payment cycle that passed before I paid off the loan. My bank won't let me make such a small payment. So I wonder, what happens if I you mail a loan company a quarter...

So, what, the bank wants this to balloon back up into debt before you can pay it off?
Makes sense--
Now there's a post about old people on the internet. It is predictably HILARIOUS.

Where did the time go? It's been so long since I've written in my journal.

To (still) write about:

Juno movie
Range on Monday
Doing homework w/Dad and the subsequent grouchy Randy episode.
Church on Sunday- including mean people and angry Randy.

WRITING ABOUT CHURCH SUNDAY!? Worth the wait for sure!

I bought him a Reno shotglass to add to his collection, a leather bound book on the atonement and a DVD of the Loveletters of Joseph and Emma with illustrations by Liz Lemon Swizzle and a box that says "Made in Texas" on the sides and a spiel about thanking your lucky stars that you are in Texas on the top.

Gross. This is why I hate Texas. MADE IN TEXAS, GOD BLESS TEXAS! GOOD THING "YOUR" IN TEXAS! No, fuck you, Texas. Want to know the best thing about Texas?
You can fucking leave.

He bought a BB gun at Cabela's and we're working out a target stand for it in the backyard.

I bought a Walther P22 handgun-- my first gun.

I wonder what Jesus would have to say about this?

Then said Jesus unto him, Put up again thy sword into his place: for all they that take the sword shall perish with the sword.

Oh, okay.
But I'm sure if one were to say that you Christfags would find 10,000 tricks to explain that away and how he meant SPIRITUAL WARFARE or whatever, but when it comes to shit you don't like suddenly the Bible is hyper-literal.
Good job all around, people.

2. A graphic sex dream with Randy. Yum. How many more months till we can do that IRL? Lol.

My phone was ringing, the noise made me want to panic. I tried to stay calm. I looked at the phone, it was Randy so I answered it. I told him I needed help. I was crying, I couldn't breathe easily because I was so upset. I was half a parking lot away from him.

Okay, pop quiz! What could have possibly sent her into such a panic?
I'd give you a multiple choice on this, but quite frankly the answer is so incredibly stupid it'd stick out so you could just play the ol' Sesame Street "which of these things is not like the other?"
Which is incidentally how I take all of my tests in educational psychology.
A average wooooooo--
I'll paraphrase the answer because the post is also incredibly long and dumb.
She went to McDonald's drive through (or "drive thru" if McDonald's spelling is to be believed)
and the microphone was broken so she started reversing in the drive through lane (something I think they specifically tell you not to do) and someone came up behind her, blocking her exit, and just sat there.
Of course they were probably so dumbfounded at what they fuck they were witnessing they couldn't help but freeze, but this is Texas I'm talking about so the big angry lights on the car probably triggered some sort of primitive "stand your ground" instinct, so who knows.
Of course logic would dictate go forward and exit through the, uhhh, exit, but whatever, Texans.

Finally, I got out of the drive through and went over to Panda. I got out of the car and went to him, crying. I hoped he would hug me.

He asked me later when we were home if something was bothering me. It bothered me that when I was upset and needed him to comfort me, he did not. As we spoke of how hurt that I felt when he wasn't there for me, I wept. While I was crying, he didn't comfort me. Didn't we just go over this? I guess he really does not care.

He was probably so dumbfounded that something so juvenile could trigger this kind of reaction, but this is a Texan I'm talking about so probab-- okay I'll stop.
What follows is 19000 entries about Church and Temple (don't even want to get into that mess) so I think I'll stop here.

Huuuuuuuuurrrrrrrr

Today is March 8th. Tomorrow is March 9th, and that means Final Fantasy XIII comes out. I'd say I'm excited, but I don't think what I'm feeling is excitement. Concern, perhaps. I mean I've heard a lot of shit about it. There's practically no world map (unless you count a straight line as a map), there are 15000000 cutscenes per square inch of world (not an uncommon trait in Final Fantasy, not sure why this is a criticism). When I heard this I thought it might be okay. Final Fantasy X had all that shit it and it was still a great game, obnoxious male and female lead notwithstanding.
But then I heard it. The magic silver bullet to every Final Fantasy ever: time travel. Time travel does not mix with Final Fantasy. Every time they try it comes off incredibly fucking dumb. Look at FFVIII.
Speaking of incredibly fucking dumb (smooth transition): Sweet and Lovely.

Gragh. I'm currently writing/planning about a hundred different stories. Well, with one of them, I've been planning to have Liza, my main character, fall in love with Lionel, the male lead.

Wow a love story where two people fall in love. How original.

Well, I've suddenly lost interest in getting the two together, not because I don't like Lionel, but because I've just introduced his best friend into the story, and now part of me really would like Liza to fall in love with him instead.

Maybe Lionel can still love Liza (usually a bad idea to have your two main characters with same-y names, but whatever) while she still wants the best friend. Maybe the best friend can turn out to be a total dick. Lionel comes to hate both. Maybe the best friend can wrongfully accuse Lionel of treachery, landing Lionel in a 19th century French dungeon.
Then Lionel can escape with the help of a priest accused of being a supporter of Napoleon (sort of like Lionel was) after learning all of the Priest's worldly skills (which were ample). Then, so changed by his experience, he can integrate himself back into the same society as someone else to exact vengeance on those who wronged him.
Ha, ha, just kidding this book already exists.
Of course in that book Dante's chick didn't marry Danglars (one of the men who wrongfully accused him) but one of her cousins (ew) but whatever basically the same shit.
But keep aiming for the stars, kid. I'm sure it'll work out fantastic.

This year I'm trying to set myself a personal goal for each month, whether it be something educational and improving, or totally fun and frivolous.

Sounds like it'd backfire. I'd just set my goal every month to be "this month I promise not to make any more goals for myself" but maybe you have more willpower than me.

However, I don't know what to do this month. I don't even really have any ideas. So I thought I might turn to you all for suggestions. What do you think I should do for March?

Oh, oh I have a good one: kill yourself.
Now here's her list of favorite names. I really give a fuck.

Caroline
Isabelle
Sabriel

Sabriel?
Also everyone knows the three best girl names are Cecilia, Edie and Chloe.

Leon
Aubrey
Owen
Haakon

Aubrey? Haakon?
Seriously, Haakon?
Sounds like someone I might be fighting in a Dawn of War game.
Pathfinder Haakon.

Tycho
Gabriel

Oh my God it is Dawn of War. Brother-Captain Erasmus Tycho of the Blood Angels III company and Captain Gabriel Angelos of the Blood Ravens III company.

Gareth

Isn't he from Mass Effect?
No wait that's Garrus, sorry.

Man, this was like THE week for wierd dreams.

Tuesday I ran into Cyndi Lauper on the street and started chatting with her.

Wierd. I guess I should cut her some slack because schools beat the whole "i before e except after c" into your head (the one grammar concept they still seem to give a fuck about) and it happens to be wrong on many common words. Bang-up job all around.

Thursday's dream was really unpleasant, especially at one point when the gang was trying to lure me out by threatening a little girl.

I had that dream once.
Then I realized I was a bear and mauled them to death.
Fuck yeah.

Now, FFVIII is my favorite video game barr none.

See? Only annoying cunts even like Final Fantasy VIII.

It is difficult to explain just how important it is to me, and how much impact it had on me when I was growing up. It is to me what FFVII is to everyone else.

No fuck that noise: Final Fantasy Tactics is clearly the greatest Final Fantasy ever made and if you disagree you are provably wrong.
Shame about all that other shit it spawned.
I kid, XII was pretty good. Of course it didn't have a quarter of the plot Tactics had.
Oh and the characters weren't nearly as deep or compelling.
Oh and the music kind of sucked.
Oh and it played like a watered down version of XI-- wait, why do I play these games? I should just replay Tactics.

And for quite awhile now I have secretly known I want to dance to "Waltz for the Moon" at my wedding, should I ever have one. Well, as I watched everyone dancing, to that song, in that setting, I was so moved I had to blink away tears.

Hurrrrrrrr
Stand back, pussies, and get ready for some real music.
You could sit back and sip brandy or some classy shit while this is playing.

Last night I decided on my New Year's Resolutions.
1. Live posatively.

1a. Learn to spell "positively" (brotip: there's no 'a' in it)

7. Improve my looks. (Lose weight. Get contacts. Decide on hair style.)

8. Get a good, regular job.

9. Start lolita video blog.

>Lolita video blog
Pretty sure that's illegal.
Well anyway I have shit to do (by which I mean play Pokemon. Fuck yes, Spring Break).

Better crippled in body than corrupt in mind.

Wow everyone is getting sick. Everyone is bitching about it on their blog, even. I think the reason is clear:
"Thus did he pray, and Apollo heard his prayer. He came down furious from the summits of Olympus, with his bow and his quiver upon his shoulder, and the arrows rattled on his back with the rage that trembled within him. He sat himself down away from the ships with a face as dark as night, and his silver bow rang death as he shot his arrow in the midst of them."
The wrath of Apollo is upon us.

I feel like crap, and yet I'm still going to school.
Why? You ask.
Why, to spread the swiny and infect as many peons as possible!

I have done nothing to anger the god, so perhaps I will be spared his fury.
Now she links to another journal where she tells elaborate (and no doubt shitty) stories through The Sims. I don't think I'll be clicking on that.

Anyway, continuing on with my Christmas rant-yay list, I got covers for my iTouch, OKAAAAAAMIIIII *squee*♥*squee* and many other wonderful things.

>*squee*♥*squee*

On Okami, I can see why people love it so much. It's a beautifully illustrated gem of a game, the art in it is so unique. And there's booze. I MEAN THAT. LOTS OF BOOZE.

lolxD
Only 9th graders could be so impressed with something like that.

You people must think I'm a crackhead...But that's OK, ILY2. ;)

I think if you were you'd have come up with something better than this.

SO.
I'M BORED.
So I'll give you a cookie if you can translate these phrases ♥
They're in Deustch ♥

Oh look, a thinly veiled "fuck you I know a foreign language" post.
Well I'm real impressed.

Jesus hatte mehrere Kinder, von denen alle aßen ihr Vater.

"Jesus had several children, all of whom ate their father."
Whoop-de-shit, German. You can practically sound out the translation.

Ich hatte eine Schweinshaxe. Es war sehr lecker.

"I had a porkchop. It was very tasty."
You do go on and-- oh look, you provided the translation under each sentence. How disappointing. I just noticed because it's in teeny tiny yellow font that's crossed through, but I suppose you can read that if you don't mind your eyes melting in the process. I guess the reason she threw the translation up there is because it wouldn't he wholly impressive until you knew she knew it, but fuck you I had high school German too and I'm not fucking impressed.

Well...
November is shit. That's what I think.
I honestly, truly, really do.

And I have reasons.

Reasons I won't be reading--

PLEASE READ BEYOND THE STORY AT THE BEGINNING. Please, this is totally serious and not just me going on a rant.

It looks really long, though.

Well, someone recently blogged a Justin Bieber (sp?) music vid. I was curious, I'd never heard him before, so I clicked it.
Well, I have to admit, I don't really enjoy his music.
I didn't comment that in the blog, I decided to try and post something I felt was amusing in the video, so I said it looked like he was wearing lipstick. Before I entered it though, I read the comments before mine and saw that one girl had also stated something along the lines of 'I don't understand why people like him...'.

IMPENDING INTERNET DRAMA.
Skipping some unnecessary details (well, the entire post and indeed the entire blog is unnecessary, but whatever):

Color me surprised when her and her friend show up and begin antagonizing me as well, for stating my opinion.

Now, this isn't meant to be a blog to get guys on my side and start flaming these two girls, I posted it because of two reasons:
1) I'm really hyped about it now, for some reason.
2) I think we should start a movement. (which I'm also really hyped about right now)

Now, as you can see, that second one looks serious. Well, I'm totally serious about it.

A movement for what? All spurred on because someone was "like, rly mean" to you on the internet?

I want this movement to be about the respect from one person to another person when stating their opinion, or just respect of another in general.

Yeah good luck with that, stupid.

Maybe, to a lesser extent, we could promote correct grammar and punctuation? I'm not as gung-ho on this one, and understand that you guys may not be either.

Yeah why would you want to be gung-ho about that one? WE HAVE TO RESPECT EACH OTHERS' OPINIONS ABOUT JUSTIN BIEBER, GUYS. :(
That's much more important.
Who the fuck is Justin Bieber?
I have a simpler movement: anyone who likes Justin Bieber is a cunt and I don't want to hear their ignorant opinions in the first place.
How about that for a movement?

Okay, so I'm getting (maybe) Sims 2 on Thursday. YAY!

Current location: North Carolina.
I just want to distance myself from her a little: I'm not originally from North Carolina.
And that's it. That's her entire blog, aww.
Well, Sierra, I have to hand it to you: at least you keep a reasonable update schedule. You only update when you think you have something to say (which still somehow manages to be never, but whatever I'll cut you some slack because you're clearly of diminished capacity) instead of getting one of these fucking things and making fifteen million posts through Twatter like everyone else.

The future is trivia.

Man.
You know what I'm really tired of? Bible quotes. I've been getting that shit constantly lately due to some of the classes I've chosen. Christ, I thought I took Milton read EPIC POETRY not some convoluted church government scheme because of what Paul said to the Ephesians.
Anyway, I had a specific criteria today: no Bible quotes in blogs.
Do you know how fucking long that took?
What the fuck is the matter with you people? There have been books written since that are perfectly quotable. What, just because the Bible says it's "true" suddenly you have to follow it in exclusion to all else?
Is that really all it takes to trick you people? All I have to do is write a rambling guide to life and at the end sign "P.S.: This is true" and I'll get millions of adherents?

Today we are going to talk about WTF Am I Going To Do In The Future.

Why is that a proper noun? Are you like a medieval writer and suddenly anything that Sounds Important is a Proper Noun (see how that works)?

So I had this great plan to skip my senior year and go to Clarion, where the older sister goes, and get like credit for my senior year for it! Except two problems: 1) my school is being douches, and they also are being incredibly indecisive and 2) I really, really don't want to go to Clarion. Clarion's lame.

So you're transferring to another school for no gain on your part?
Sounds logical.

I basically have to go all next year instead of any graduating early. Because! I need financial aid. Basically, I have found my dream school. But it's expensive. Really freaking expensive

What the fuck am I reading? So you have a dream school you want to attend (who cares) and to do that you're transferring to an irrelevant school you hate-- ugh, whatever.

Mostly like, "if you can't even give a speech how will you live in nyc by yourself!!?!?!!??!"

Connected thoughts or the rambling of a fucking mental patient?
I CAN'T SPEAK KOREAN HOW CAN I POSSIBLY HOPE TO LIVE IN OHIO!?!?!?!?!?

First of all, giving a speech and living in nyc are very different things. At least, as far as I know. Secondly, I just don't know if I could do the lame graduation speech. I don't have the boring speech voice.

Talk like Virgil does from Dante's Inferno (the game). Man, I wish Virgil would follow me around in Jedi-ghost form and narrate my life.

I don't do a very good job of not saying inappriopriate things. I think I would probably insult a lot of people on accident and various other bad things.

Who gives a fuck? Also she's so incredibly racy and working blue that she later censors the word "fuck" from a picture. Good fucking job, twat. Yeah, you're real racy and insulting.

Right now there is a really nice, brand new Gym Class Heroes shirt, Draco Malfoy one, Corpse Bride one, Raven from Teen Titans ones, and Inu-Yasha one. So go buy them!

Thank you. XD

Oh, related story: on the front page of my university's website is a guy wearing a Kingdom Hearts hoodie. On one hand I can feel vaguely superior to the rest of the campus by that simple virtue alone, but them I remember to anyone looking in I'm with these chucklefucks. Shit.

3) AND. I apparently only ever get any fic written while I'm at school! XD
[---]
LOLZ if you guys be having any cheering up sort of things I'd be glad to be getting comments of happy! Cause...I don't know how I'm going to get through this year, guys, srsly. D:

Oh and there's a picture of you-- are you a boy or a girl?
Your cheeks and lips would lead me to believe girl, but your haircut and your nose are kind of masculine-- okay, trying you to imagine without the coke bottle glasses.
I'm going to guess-- girl?
Controversial call on my part. When in doubt, assume ladybro.

I also have new hair, but no pictures yet. :)

Great.
Now she wants me to fill out a questionnaire about myself. I didn't know this blog came with a homework assignment. I might have rethought my participation.

9. Do we know each other outside of LJ?

I sure hope not.

10. What's your philosophy on life?
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?

No, no and yes.

13. What is your favorite memory of us?

When I put the tags on this abortion of a post and ended it.

17. Can we get together and make a cake?

No. I only make cake with cute girls.

18. Which country is your spiritual home?

I would have said America yesterday, but after hearing the Fist of the North Star dub in Italian I'm going to say Italy.
How multicultural am I, by the way? American watching a Japanese cartoon in Italian with French subtitles.
Man there's like four languages at work there.

E) LOL at fans. Like, I know I'm all obessive fanboy, but wtf everybody?

BOY?
BOY?
WHAT?
Well we really can't make a cake now.
I went back to study your picture some more and after discovering I could make it bigger I probably would have picked boy. Should have checked to see if I could get a bigger resolution shot, silly me~
Man that blows my mind. I didn't know guys typed like that.
I know this is probably going to bother anyone reading this, but even though he's not --technically-- a chick he still acts like one, so I'm awarding full points to myself for the earlier call of "girl".
Man, I sure can call them.

Fear not the creatures of the jungle but those that lurk within your mind

Good grief, why do I have to click to read each of your entries? Why would you do that, outside of to piss me off? It's not like they're so long having them all fully expanded would be ungainly long like, say, The Scarlet Letter. Shit, most are one or two sentences at most, so what the fuck is your problem, friend?
So here we have The Core Dump, which is kind of what I wish my computer would do while I'm reading it because then I'd have a plausible excuse to not be reading it anymore. "Oh, blue screen. Better do something productive with my life now."
But, alas, I built this TITAN to avoid exactly that kind of problem, so oh well.
Although I did buy a Seagate hard drive for it because I LIKE TO LIVE ON THE EDGE.

* 20:10 @tibek Led Zeppelin or Bond? Not that they're not both good. #
* 20:16 @tibek That is so awesome. Proof positive that the world likes good music! #

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Oh, that's brilliant, right? "Hey, let me take something already probably out of context (Twitter) and make it even more out of context! Hey, yeah, any reader I have will enjoy this exercise in futility!"

No browser? No USB? No floppies? No problem.

Yeah I got a fucking USB right here for you, you Texan fuck.
Oh shit he is from Texas. I was just kind of assuming.
I can smell a Texan from a mile away. They all have that distinct stink of cow.

On a more personal note, I love my new giant hard drive. I've finished installing very nearly every game I have on it, the latest one being System Shock 2, a classic game which had major influences on later works, especially Portal and, of course, Bioshock. System Shock 2, of course, is not supported by anything after Windows 98.

Of course. Can't find a work around or unofficial patch for that, can you? Just a classic game every nerd on the planet has a chubby for. I "reckon", as you Texans say, that it'd be impossible to fix this problem.

I've found various patches and workarounds for this around the interwebs, some of which actually got the game to run, but none of which prevented it from crashing after about a minute. Sad.

Core affinity, stupid. Turn all (save one) off.
Goddamn Texans.

For a solution, I've decided to go after something I tried a long time ago and never got to work with my tiny hard drive and limiting RAM: virtualization.

Or you could set core affinity, but I guess that's also a solution. Leave it to a Texan to pick the most convoluted solution available.

* 19:22 I want to put virtual machines on my virtual machines (so I can compute while I compute, etc). Is it so wrong to want a fractal computer? #

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You're pushing it, motherfucker.

For about $15, I managed to pick up Audiosurf (a cute little game I've had my eye on for a while, and is well worth the $2.50 they were charging), a grab bag of old LucasArts adventure games, Beyond Good and Evil, and (the biggie) Bioshock.

That's interesting I managed to get all of those for free.
Guess I get a special non-Texan discount, huh?

Super Smash Brothers: Melee (or is it Brawl? I can never remember which is which)

Oh that's easy. Melee is the one basement-dwelling mutants try to turn into a hardcore tourneyfag game when in fact it's a fun party game, whereas Brawl is a game basement-dwelling mutants try to turn into a hardcore tourneyfag-- hey wait.

Today, I'm going to talk about profanity.

Fascinating.

A long time ago, I, being my usual inquisitive self, asked my dad just what it was exactly that made bad words bad.

Nothing. Quit being a pussy.

Like any other literary device, though, overuse will dilute the significance, and overuse of it in casual situations could lead to having nothing left when the situation demands something more.

You seriously underestimate the power of the word "fuck".

I feel like I should be leading up to some kind of final revelation here, but nope. That's about it. I don't cuss. It's weird. Here's a journal entry about it! What do you guys think about profanity?

GUESS I FORGOT TO INCLUDE A POINT! LOL!!
You fuck. You Texan fuck.

I'm going to talk for a bit about my computer. My new computer is awesome.

Oh wow, let me read about this.

My new year's resolution is 1280x800. Seriously.

Current resolution: 1920x1080.
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Oh, what's this? What's this? Fifteen Dragon Age: Origin windows open at once.
Because why not?

[EDIT: Hardware installed. New hard drive space: approx. 250 gigabytes.

Oh let me stretch out in my 1.5TB of space. Sure is eeeeeeempty in here.

Current Mood: y so srs?

Current Music: Shinedown - Second Chance

So I think that's it.
Fuck Texas.