TIME TO FOCUS

Whenever I look at today's blog I just find my eyes unfocusing. Time to use my will.
Also it has been a while since I've reported these important figures:

As you can see progress has slowed since FUCKING HORRIBLE HIGH SCHOOL AND TEACHING has taken over.
Still, though, tons of ranks on weaving and alchemy.
The important skills.
Ah yes, the writer's block:

What's your most debilitating insecurity? Do you think you'll ever overcome it?

And her answer (and the reason I clicked on this blog as I'm sure you're about to realize):

Definitely my breasts. They're way too big. My boyfriend loves them, but that's for obvious reasons. I'm a 42DDD and it sucks.

And I'm sure she's trying to project this image she's some sort of titty monster and not just a fucking hambeast but let's be realistic here.

I have severe back issues and I'm always made fun of or getting in trouble for too much cleavage.

Anymore than a handful is a waste I always believed.

I hate having to wear wicked high cut clothing everyday because of it.

You should have to wear a Pac-Man ghost outfit like Muslims.

If you could turn back time, how far back would you go?

I always believed I was born in the wrong era and probably should have come of age around 1980.

I have no idea. Probably like the 40's or 80's.

Of course the way that's structured it makes it sound like you mean the 1940s or the 1880s but whatever you probably mean the 1980s.
I really found this question interesting due to the number of people that took absolutely no interest at all in it. I mean I was having trouble deciding when I'd like to see and the number of people who said "ehh, 1940 or some shit" was staggering.
Do you morons have any idea what was going on in the 1940s?
It wasn't a big deal. Just a little something called WORLD WAR II.
Also the start of the Cold War.
No, those times are not remembered fondly because they were good times-- they are remembered merely because the West prevailed.

Yeah, it's time to try, once again, to lose some weight. It's the same story every year. I always say how I'm going to lose the weight and how I'm going to look much better and blah blah blah.

I'm looking at your display picture and 1. I'm pretty sure that's not you and 2. you'll never be a delicious brown or yellow girl so why bother?

I'll even begin making a weight loss plan and make a journal and/or binder on it. It'll last a month or so and then I'll just randomly stop. I also say how determined I am and how I am not going to give up, but I always do.

Here's your weight loss plan: stop eating so much.

Jenni-Lyn Watson is a girl from my area who graduated my high school a few years ago. I'm posting this so that I can get her name out there for everyone to see.

She's 20 years old, 5'2", approx. 100lbs. and has dirty blonde hair. She's been missing since Friday, November 19, 2010. She was last seen in Liverpool, NY.

Give up. She's already dead.
Sorry I'm probably not being very helpful.

Why is riding a bus so fucking expensive? Seriously, I'm only on the bus for five minutes and I'm paying $1.25, which might not seem like a lot, but in reality, it is.

Consider it your "too lazy to walk three blocks" fee.

I've been on an anime kick lately and the two named animes have been the latest reasons why I never sleep.

Fist of the North Star and motherfuckin' Macross Plus is what I expect to hear from you.

They're both the same genre and have almost identical plots, but they're freaking amazing and I loved them.

I first watched KimiKiss Pure Rogue on Anime Network on Demand a few days ago.

No idea what that is.
I'm guessing it doesn't involve giant robots and therefore isn't worth watching.
Unless it's Fist of the North Star.

It's a sappy, slice-of-life story about a boy who's best friend moves back from France to finish her third year of high school. And, basically, they fall in love and all that other blah, blah, blah that's typical of modern animes, though there's a lot of emotion, understanding and struggle with this one.

>typical of modern anime
All right so it's shit, got it.

Myself; Yourself follows the same plot line as KimiKiss in many ways. Basically, boy moves back, boy meets childhood friends, boy mistakes childhood friend for random classmate, angst angst angst,

Huh.
I can't even muster up a proper response to this. Am I really reading about what anime you're watching, really? Even if it was something good all I'd be able to do is say "okay, you don't suck as much as I thought" but clearly you do so whatever.
Now here's an R-rated Pokemon fanfic.
Admittedly it has been a while since I've watched Pokemon but I somehow doubt the tone of the show has changed that much--

It's like 8:30 in the morning and I still haven't slept much tonight. Ugh. It's quite annoying, lol.

I'm sorry to hear that. 8:30 means I've been at work for half an hour.
Oh and I'm all the way to the first entry. That's handy.
Oh by the way, she posted another picture of herself and she has a really bitchy look on her face that I suppose is supposed to look sexy but just reminds me how brilliant my plan of going to the third world to get a brown girl is.
I mean not to toot my own horn or anything but in terms of great ideas I put it up there with Einstein's theory of relativity and Newton's discovery of gravity.
Anyway time to play some FFXIV, woo Friday~

The Wide World of Writer's Block

And other words that start with W.
Today's blogger had an answer to the question of the day that actually gave me pause for thought:

If someone insults you when you're walking down the street, what do you do?

My immediate answer was "fight them for your honor" but as this person (for once) astutely points out:

Do people randomly get insulted while walking down the street? I can't remember that ever happening to me. Maybe I have lived a sheltered life.

Actually hang out at my horrible high school for any length of time and it will happen.
But no, for most normal people who do not have to winnow the tide of barbarism that is real life this would seem like an odd question.
Anyway this blog seems oddly familiar to me. Maybe I've done it before?

I am not nice myself, but I can appreciate niceness in others. Do I get points for that?

If there's one thing I've learned in the past couple of months it's that kindness, even an appreciation of kindness, is a misplaced and dangerous emotion to have.

What do you do when you're sick other than rest or medication?

Last time I was sick I tried to spread my contagion to as many as possible in attempt to weaponize it throughout my high school.
It worked with mixed results.
Which is a euphemism for "total failure".
Although no, maybe that's a little strongly worded. I did successfully spread it but it never turned killer.

I blow my nose -- a LOT -- and I use any brand but kleenex. I absolutely hate kleenex. Worst tissue in the world. Please, everyone, don't use kleenex if you know what is good for your nose.

EVER GOTTEN THE KIND WITH LOTION AND VICKS RIGHT ON THEM?

Have you ever thought about the politics of disease?

Many times. It is far more beneficial to treat disease than prevent disease.
Why cure when you can sell medicine indefinitely?

Consider that heart disease has historically killed far more people than cancer -- yet more money is spent on finding treatments for cancer. Why do you suppose that is?

Cancer treatment is far more expensive than heart disease treatment.
Also you said yourself heart disease is far more likely to kill you than cancer so therefore the problem is harder to fix ergo it has a greater overhead cost-- am I making any sense?
I mean I know bloggers are of menial intelligence but goddamn.

Or how about this one: breast cancer and prostate cancer are roughly of equal prevalence and equally likely to end life. Yet breast cancer is a major cause celebre while prostate cancer barely gets noticed.

Uh that's because the government gives more grants into prostate cancer research than breast cancer so the private sector has to pick up the slack.

Breasts are on women, and women have historically been treated like crap in our society -- which means of course that they are better organized and also have a much deeper well of public sympathy from which to draw.

No I'm pretty sure I just explained why that happens like it happens.

Besides, people like breasts. They are a symbol of nurturing, sexuality and motherhood.
And then there is lung cancer. A shameful disease if there ever was one. Not only did you probably bring it upon yourself by smoking, but how many people did you harm through second hand smoke along the way? And now you are a burden upon society as your prolonged treatment plan eats up precious health care dollars.

That's a good point.

Folks. I particularly hate it when politicians and CEOs etc. call people "folks" because it is such an affectation.

Folks, from the German "Volks" means "people".
Hence "Volkswagen" is "the peoples' car".
"Folks" sounds far less clinical than "PEOPLE."

We know that they come from a background where people are called "individuals" or "clients" or whatever -- the use of folks is a total fabrication.

Or as I call them: "FILTH".

There is no objective reality. Just different shades mixing together to form changing colours. We all make millions of decisions each day, and the vast majority of these are entirely unplanned.

Did anyone else just mouth the words "what the fuck" now or was that just me?

Every controlled muscle movement in your body is a decision. Every time your eye moves or your finger types a new letter on the keyboard. All decisions. Later, when someone asks you why you did something, you cannot admit that there was never any conscious reason for it, so you make something up on the spot that sounds reasonable and you decide to believe in it.

I'm pretty sure if someone asked me why my finger hit a specific key on a keyboard my reasoning would be the painfully tautological "so I can type a word".
Why did I type a word?
So I can type this bullshit and call you an idiot.
Why do I need to call you an idiot?
BECAUSE IT MAKES MY BALLS FEEL BIG.

For some reason, we cannot admit that we are never really in control of ourselves. What we make up to explain the past becomes reality.

So something else is making me type this?
LORD JESUS INSPIRE ME~

You have only very limited insight into what your motivation was at that past moment, and even less about others' motivations. You construct subjective realities about the past, and these are heavily influenced by your unconscious, your attitudes, past experience -- your entire world view.

This is about the point where it's revealed the Nazis won WW2 or something.
Actually wasn't this a really long monologue by Morpheus in The Matrix?
How everything you've ever known is a carefully constructed simulation of a reality you've never known and therefore it could be entirely wrong and you wouldn't know?

Depressed people view the past as an indictment, a repudiation of their lives and themselves. A paranoid person sees it as evidence that the world is against him. Megalomaniacs see the past as confirmation of their destiny.

I just see it as proof you're fucking nuts.

Accepting that reality is an illusion is extremely liberating.

Yeah. You can learn to fly like Neo did in The Matrix.

I have mixed feelings about Nanowrimo. On the one hand, it's a bit like running a marathon -- a big accomplishment that no doubt stretches and tones your creative muscles. On the other hand, it's an absolutely dreadful way to write a novel.

I know I make fun of National write a book month or whatever the fuck but honestly the idea that people can write an entire book in a month on their own accord for fun after struggling the past month to get 9th graders to write 10 entire words on a page has me a little incredulous.
I'm dead fucking serious when I say this entry contains more words than they've probably coherently written in their entire lives.

On the surface, creative writing seems like a fairly straightforward, linear kind of activity. You turn on your computer, you open Word, you write a beginning, then you hop nimbly from stepping stone to stepping stone until you reach the last stone.

Oh is that how creativity happens? Just turn on your computer and bam, typed manuscript?

But in reality, writing is typically not linear at all -- it's very iterative. I write a beginning, then I move along forward, then I stop and read. And I wonder, what the heck is this story about anyway?

Uhhh I don't know what the fuck kind of stories you've been writing but I usually ask myself what a story is about before I start writing it.
"What is happening and who is doing the action" are pretty much two questions you should ask yourself always before setting out.

Then I catch something in paragraph three that seems promising, and I ask myself, what's going on there? I go back and mess around with para three, and while I'm at it I insert a couple of other paragraphs. And then suddenly paragraph 16 has completely new relevance and paragraph nine seems completely out of place.

So you're not a minimalist I take it. In fact this entire description of how you write is so incredibly bogged down and repetitive I'm starting to get a bit of a headache.

And it occurs to me that somewhere around para 34 something very cool is going to happen, so I write paras 32 through 35 and set them aside. Then I stop for the day, and when I open it up the next day I wonder what on Earth I was thinking, and I delete para three altogther. And so on. Sometimes at the end of all this I just have a mess.

Okay let me tell you how you write a story if you're not brain damaged:
you have an idea you want to tell. Pick the character you think would be most effective at telling the story.
Note I didn't say the character you personally like the best, I just said "most effective".
Your next goal is to figure out where the turning point of the story is. Then your goal is to get your character from Point A, the start, to Point B, the turning point, as quickly as you can and still maintain believability.
Your next goal is to get from Point B to Point C, the end, as quickly as you can.
Note if you think you can write a novel on this you shouldn't write more than 40 pages and if you think you can write 40 pages make sure it's about 15.

Which is to say that Canada is a social welfare state. This means that being poor in Canada is a virtue while being rich is something to feel vaguely ashamed about.

Canadians are the second most pretentious twats I've ever met after the French.

This idea has its tendrils in every aspect of life in this country. For example, there is a sacrosanct idea that in an environment of limited resources, health care should be distributed based on need and not the ability to pay.

It should go to those who are fittest.
Clearly those who can pay are fittest.

Livejournal has introduced a new type of advertising that is triggered sometimes when you try to leave a comment. The screen goes grey and you are forced to watch a commercial before proceeding. I'm all for finding good ways to generate revenue to sustain this site, but I really found this unacceptably intrusive.

Adblock Plus? Never heard of that.

The fact that Canada was denied a seat on the UN Security Council in favor of Portugal shows just how far the international body has fallen in terms of relevance and legitimacy.

>Canada
>UN
SORRY POWERFUL NATIONS ONLY.
Look at this chart. Not in the top 10? GET THE FUCK OUT.
Also European Union can piss the fuck off too. You need 20 of your little shit countries to equal the might of one real country.
I'm just pretending the UN does something.

As far as I can tell, politically the UN has become a place for tinpot dictators, terrorsts and anti-semites to advance their self-serving agendas.

Well the top 10 does include all three former major Axis nations so Antisemitic would come with the territory.
Then again it also contains all 3 former major Ally powers too so it's like we're really still living in the shadow of WW2.

Two questions about ethics.

First, which is worse, someone who does unethical things knowingly, as part of some conscious desire or plan, or someone who just seems to do it because it is part of his or her DNA.

That's funny you said you had a question but I don't see a question mark.
Also the person who does it because of their DNA, clearly.
Far better to act of your own accord than someone or something else's accord.

Second, who is better, the person who does something bad with absolutely no regret or the person who does something bad and has a major crisis of conscience for it.

The better person is the one with no regrets.
The latter is both wicked and a coward, the former only wicked.
Man this entry sure has dragged on.
Anyone else really tired after reading all this or is it just me?

Another day,

I'm not getting paid to do this, my game is down when I get home-- FUCK.
Anyway we need to talk.
Today's WB:

Let's say you're running for president, and you win by a mudslide. What would you change about your country and why? Would you make new laws? Paint the White House blue? Tell all!

Adjourn congress and dissolve the senate. There is work to be done and I cannot be tethered to bureaucratic nonsense. Democracy is far too important to trust to the common man.

I would impose heavy tariffs on imports to encourage domestic business,

Domestic business we can't afford to do because we've priced ourselves out of the market--

promote completely clean fuel sources, make public transportation widespread, abolish the use of cars except in rural areas

Oh God, really?
Abolish the use of cars.
Do you have any idea how stupid that sounds?
If we're using cleaner fuel we won't need to abolish cars--
Oh God no.

and make sure that the rich are heavily taxed, if there were any rich people at all.

Mmmm, yes. Always a wise idea to ensure your elite are poor.
What's that thing about smart people leaving poor countries as soon as they can?
Brain drain?
Might want to look into it.

I would abolish the stock market

HAAH
WAAW.
I, too, would enjoy living in the 10th century again.

lessen the salaries of CEOs proportional to their workers, so that whoever did the most work got the most pay.

Define "work".
As unnecessary as middle management often is someone does actually have to be in charge.

I would create more opportunities for the arts and everyone would have the best health care and the minimum wage would be high enough to live

And who's paying for all this now that you've abolished the stock market?
And to top it off she says she'd have everyone perform Russian disco hits and promptly links a German disco band.
Classy.

If you were a country, what would be your national anthem?

Man where the hell were all these questions when I was answering dumb shit about what food I like on a rainy day?
Anyway my national anthem would be this.
In case my ideas of dissolving the senate weren't throwing off enough of a Darth Vader vibe, you know.

Should websites like Wikileaks be defended for sharing confidential corporate and government information with the public, and why?

No. Secrecy is a weapon the same as an army or a bomb.

Yes. Governments only keep secrets away from each other and their citizens for violent purposes, it seems to me.

STOP CONTRADICTING ME, CAPTAIN "I'D DISSOLVE THE STOCK MARKET".
You're clearly Communist.
Look at your choice of colors, even. Red and yellow? MORE LIKE RED AND RED RED PINKO SCUM.

Wow, I'm in a domestic mood... today I made gluten-free banana bread

GIMME THAT GLUTEN.
Jesus Christ after staring at her blog for a while going back to a white screen makes everything look green.
I think I'm going blind.
That awful red color is permanently burned into my retinas.

Hello, I'm in London, sitting in a practice room at the Royal Academy of Music, listening to my friend play flute

Hey I'm in the United States sitting in my computer room going blind.
Then I'll become like that blinded Korean War vet in that movie Blind Fury and kill mobsters with a samurai sword.
I think he got blinded my Agent Orange, though, and not this blog or as I'm calling it "Agent Red".

It's a small room and flutes are loud from this distance, and the piece includes a lot of very high notes. Ow. It is a beautiful piece though, and she's studying with famous teachers; she's very good.

I really care about your friend.
Please, tell me more.

My flight back to this country was really crazy... it was supposed to leave Dayton for Atlanta, Georgia at 1:27 PM, and due to Atlanta being at the center of a huge storm system at the time, we had to wait until 6:00 to actually leave, (unboarding? Disboarding?) three times and then reboarding, and waiting on the runway for half an hour before we were allowed to take off.

I don't even know what game to turn on to ignore you. I can't turn on FFXIV because it's down-- maybe I'll play some Call of Duty.

Because my first flight was so late, I missed my connection to London, so had to take a later flight, which was supposed to leave at 9 but was rescheduled for 10:30 and ended up leaving at 12:30 while they fixed the toilets onboard.

Oh you wanna fight, Charlie? Let's see suck on the end of this .44 Magnum.

And I was seated in a seat with no windows next to a baby with an unintentional mohawk.

There's something very satisfying about using the enemy's weapons against himself.

Oberlin's Quaker meeting has gained two children who come to meeting with their dad, so we have had to debate about how to handle having a Sunday school. I'm charged with teaching the kids about Christian history before the Quakers.

So there were some Romans who were busy being industrious and conquering people and then a bunch of religious types caused a dark age we call the Dark Age-- I dunno, maybe I skipped some details there.

Great! I thought. Now I can teach them all about how Christianity departed from Judaism with Jesus and spread across the Roman Empire, which regarded it as a cannibalistic Mystery Cult, helped by the fact that unlike other religions in Europe at the time it admitted women and the poor as members.

AND THEN ZEUS SMOTE ALL THE UNBELIEVERS.

I was sick all last week, with something that felt like mono. Now I'm going to an Oberlin BDSM meeting.

This is the second blog in a week that has mentioned bondage.
I read some weird shit.
Well I'm all the way back to 2008 now and there isn't anything interesting to post about so I think it's safe to say you're boring.
I mean at least I had mapped out a plan to start a second Roman Empire in my responses. Yours were just nonsensical.
And just when I was about to let this dog lie:

I met this Polish guy last weekend in Dublin who thinks I'm a girl.

I mean surely--

I thought everyone who calls me Andrew knew I was a guy. Apparently their fucking gender binary minds can't get around their prejudice regarding who I am.

If you don't tell me I'm picking pronouns.

"Andrew, were you born a girl or a boy? I don't fucking care, but just tell me who you are." I don't fucking know who I am. I'm just fucking who I am. I'm a mess. I'm a fucking mess. I'm a fucking human being who just wants to be fucking left alone.

Well when you need to invent pronouns to describe yourself people are naturally going to have a few questions, yes.

Do you know how fucking hard it is? I suppose you might. But I met this amazing guy, who calls me a girl, and then five minutes later I'm "mate". It's not fucking fair. It's not fucking fair. I am who I say I am. Nothing more, nothing less.

Yeah but there are far too many women with vaginas to mess around with this nonsense.
Unless you're into that kind of thing.

God I'm fucking drunk. Okay, I'm going to stop writing this entry... alcohol is a curse upon the fucking human race. Don't forget that. Oh god.

I'm the only normal person in the entire world.
Anyway I think this entry officially ends here before I run into any more fuck.

What the fuck am I reading

Today's writer's block really encapsulates how truly boring the human imagination is.

If you could turn back time, how far back would you go?

You can go ANYWHERE IN THE PAST.
YOU CAN DO ALMOST ANYTHING WITH THIS POWER.
90% of the answers?
"I'd redo my shitty childhood, herp derp."
FUUUUCK YOU. You can do anything with this power. You can turn back to the last lottery and become a millionaire. You can find out who Jack the Ripper is. You can live through the Crusades with knowledge of how they'll end up and set yourself up as king.
You can go back 4 years and discover what the fuck Will Wright was thinking when he made Spore a bunch of goggle-eye casual shit.
Anyway we have some business.
Her response:

I wouldn't turn back the time because even though things are tough at times and mistakes have been made, I don't regret anything and what I have done in my past is what makes me me.

How many times must I explain? *Your* past doesn't even matter with this power. This completely changes everything. You can do whatever the shit you want and you're content with the way things are? Really? You'd never change a single detail?
I'd also like to mention a startling number of people answered they'd go into the future which I'm pretty sure the question says IF YOU COULD TURN BACK TIME.

Should physical education in schools be mandatory, and why?

Yeah, why not. They might as well be good at something even if it is just running a mile.
I mean Christ knows they can't learn anything useful like how to read.

I don't think that phys. ed. should be manditory because not all kids are skilled or built to be in sports, even though its healthy to be active.

And some kids aren't cut out for school, Mrs. "I don't know how to spell mandatory".
So here's something entitled "The Darkness Chap. 3" and dare we venture forth?

Xyler looks at the doorway
he doesn't look too happy about that girl
not looking back at me, he starts talking

You have a conjugation of the word "look" three times in your first three lines.
I don't have to be an editor to tell you to try that again.

"That's Rashell, don't get involved with her.. she's a thief and a liar..
none of us want her here but Kin didn't want us to destroy her..."

Oh God no.

I look at him confused
"don't worry about it, Rayne.. just stay away from her"
"Let's show her around!" Araya chimes in

Araya sounds like a Mithra in FFXI.
Sounds like you might take an annoying quest from her to gather three bullshit things to unlock an advanced job, maybe.
Also I can't imagine saying that name without rolling my R. Ar-r-r-r-r-ah-yah.
Anyway I think we'll be skipping "The Darkness" because there's no way I'm reading three chapters backwards (or forwards, for that matter) of this shit.
Oh wow. Here is a post that's dark blue font on a black background. It's difficult to explain how difficult this is to read so I think maybe you should check it out instead.
Oh when I sit up it gets a little easier to see.

that feeling
that way you feel when your so tired of everything
no sleep for weeks
no food for days
very little water

>your so tired
>YOUR so tired
>YOUR
:|
Oh I just noticed your avatar in the corner. Heavy eye makeup that makes you look like a raccoon, fake enigmatic smile hidden behind a hand, looking down but making eye contact with the camera, generic camwhore high angle shot that disguises the tortured geometry of your face--
I think I've discovered a real winner.
Remember that plan I've mentioned 50 times by now about going to a third world country and finding a brown girl?
I think this is pretty much what I'm crusading against.

The time i spend away from you people say is a good thing
but to me its time wasted
People say the time I spend thinking of you is time wasted

Sittin' in the morning sun,
I'll be sittin' when the evening comes
watching the ships roll in
then I'll watch 'em roll away again, yeah
I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay,
watching the tide roll away
Ooooh I'm just sittin' on the dock of the bay,
wastiiiiin' time
I left my home in Georgia,
headed for the 'Frisco Bay
because I've had nothing to live for
and looks like nothing's gonna come my way.

But its all I have, my thoughts of you and my memories are what keep me going til i see you
When your heart beats against mine in the dark of the night i cant think of anything better
When our hands are intertwined, all I feel is how happy I am

2000 miles I've roamed
just to make this dock my home.
Oh. Looks like I've reached the end of this blog through song~
Oh and now I wandered off for 2 hours.
Uhh-- piss off.

I see, bro. Very sad.

Today we have our standard two writer's blocks. One is "what food do you eat when you're feeling down?" but since we already had a two part review of a fatty blog I think we'll let that one slide. Instead we're going for the stupid "should parents be held responsible for the criminal actions of their teenage children?"
Welcome to "Lyndzicatherine" a blog about-- well some cunt, I suppose.
Her response to this thought provoking question was this:

No, kids have minds of their owns.

Pretty sure comprehension of consequences never really develops in most people. Causality is beyond the diminished mental capacity of the chattel called man.

I'm doing what I want now. I can't do what you tell me to because you think you're better than I am.

No I can tell you what to do because if you don't I can swarm about 50 giant dudes with guns.
The glories of teaching in a horrific school.

You're not. You say that I'm your best friend, but you treat me like I'm the least important person you've ever come across.

Oh I had this conversation with a girl once.
It was fun and painfully circular:
"so just stop talking to her"
"I CAN'T SHE'S ME BEST FRIEND ;_;"
"but she treats you like shit."
"I KNOW I HATE HER."
"so just stop talking to her"
"I CAN'T SHE'S--"
Women.
That's around the time I learned they're not actually looking for you to solve their problems but instead listen to their crazy shit. I think it's an evolutionary adaptation that women seek to normalize while men seek to depart from the problem.

I don't know why I'm so close with you. It's like we were born and raised in two completely different galaxies.

I'm not sure what she's talking about but just in case she's thinking what I am I'll repeat this:
common birth, common man.

I don't like the person you turned me into, and I don't like the person I turned you into.

Let's pin blame.

Can we go back to the days where you were the nerdy, straight-A girl in glasses and modest clothes, with a perfect boyfriend, who was sweet to everyone? And when I was the girl who was just a little rough around the edges, wore too much make-up and didn't give a shit about anything?

When you were the Midge to my Barbie--
gayest analogy I've ever made, I think.

You take everything from me. You put me down. You care too much about your appearance, talk me into skipping class, and have me wrapped around your little finger, like I'm a puppet.

>talk me into skipping class
Yeah but you did go along with her. What, is she a dude in the other room with a gun? She's literally forcing you along at gunpoint?
Just tell her to go fuck herself, Christ.

What are your best and worst personality traits? Do you think your friends would agree?

I haven't really given thought to this before. The obvious answer is "how awesome I am" but I'm not really sure that's what the question is asking for.
Anyway, what's your answer, my good cunt?

I'm artsy and creative, and always friendly, and I can be driven and determined.

It probably says something about me when all that translates to "annoying" in my head.
Three years' experience with Edie Finds a Corpse has proven if you are a girl who is "artsy and determined" you are a cunt.
Here's a post entitled "I Miss Myself" which makes me wonder who wrote this but I guess we'll find out.

Absolutely beautiful and confident, spunky and blonde, 20 pounds lighter, head over heels in love, and the only one in a giant crowd jumping up and down in her white sparkle dress singing every single word to You Shook Me All Night Long.

Hells Bells is better.

Where did she go?

I ended up listening to Meat Loaf instead, somehow.
ON A HOT SUMMER NIGHT--

She gained 20 pounds, dyed her hair, got her heart broken, lost the two best friends she had ever had, and discovered depression and a kitchen knife.

CUTTER ALERT!
CUTTERS, AHOY!
This always makes for good and crazy reading.

It's funny how easily life can tear you apart. It sneaks up on you when you have everything. And takes it all away.

How long can a painted smile last?

I have to assume that last question is rhetorical.

I realized today that no matter how much I plan for the future, there is only one person I've met that I can picture spending the rest of my life with.

How old are you, though? You seem like you're about 15 or 16.

Every girl creates their own idea of perfection. Mine happens to exist. And is absolutely in love with my best friend.

Ohhh sounds like some teen drama to me.

He is everything most girls hope for, and guys like that are so, so hard to find.

Everything a girl hopes for?
A giant penis made out of chocolate that ejaculates money?
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU JUST GOT DESTROYED.
Goddamn I just set women's lib back like 50 years with one comment.
Welcome to 1961, ladies.

He's standing right in front of her, and she doesn't want anything to do with him.

And therefore, because he is my friend, I've taken over the task of convincing her to give him a chance.

Maybe he needs to take the words right out of her mouth.
OHHHHH IT MUST HAVE BEEN WHILE YOU WERE KISSING ME.

I always feel like I'm losing something important to me. I have no idea who I am. Or who I want to be. I know what I want, but I don't have the self-control or ambition to acheive it. I know that I'm determined and driven inside, but I don't know how to bring it out.

Just listen to Hells Bells and try to be half as cool as the opening to this song is and you'll succeed at anything you want to do.

My best friend seems to be slipping away from me. And the people I want to be close with seem to be so far out of reach.

I'M A ROLLING THUNDER, A POURING RAIN
I'M COMING DOWN LIKE A HURRICANE
WHITE LIGHTNING IS FLASHING ACROSS THE SKY
YOU'RE ONLY YOUNG BUT YOU'RE GONNA DIE
Oh a rare thing happened: an update to her dumb blog while I'm updating my blog with an entry about her blog.
Rollin' back:
Forget it it's a bunch of dumb shit.
Well I suppose it's all dumb shit but I don't have anything to say about it, so I guess we'll move on.

What's the first thing you do when you wake up?

I say "well TODAY'S GONNA SUCK."

Have you ever cried over something that wasn't yours to cry over?
Or fallen for someone who wasn't yours to fall for, even though you both know you were meant to be each others?

Can't say that I have, no.
I know this is supposed to be rhetorical like everyone has done this but no, actually, I haven't.

Why is it that we go for the things that we can't have, and avoid the things that are right in front of us?
We all seek for a challenge. It's just going about achieving our goals that holds us back from getting what we want.
Life is a crazy ride.

I, uh, would like a life of leisure and no challenges, personally.
And barring that a life of awesome adventure because why not.

What if you know what you want to do to get what you want, but you also know that it isn't the right thing to do?
Is there really a right and wrong? Or do we just assume?
Are we really even here?

Wow man that's so fucking heavy.

What technology gadgets are on your wish list?

I don't even remember this question. How far back am I? December 22 of last year, really?

None. I hate technology.

Oh yes let me use the TECHNOLOGICAL MIRACLE THAT IS THE INTERNET WHERE THE ENTIRETY OF HUMAN KNOWLEDGE IS COLLECTED INTO ONE PLACE AND INSTANTLY ACCESSIBLE TO UNTOLD MILLIONS OF PEOPLE WITH SUCH A SHOCKING BREADTH AND DEPTH THAT THE ANCIENT THINKERS WHO PUT TOGETHER THE LIBRARY AT ALEXANDRIA COULD ONLY DREAM OF SUCH A TIME WHERE THIS WOULD BE POSSIBLE TO TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH I HATE TECHNOLOGY.

I have so much homework, have to be to church in an hour, and have been procrastinating on livejournal for the past hour.

>church
YOUR SLAVERY TO THE CORPSE GOD ENDS TODAY.

Which one book should everyone read, and why?

Dante's Inferno.
Even though The Odyssey is the greatest book ever written, Dante's Inferno is more beneficial to human understanding as a whole.
It's a badass story with the devil in it, it teaches you everything you need to know about ethics and morality, it has a giant serpent King Minos flinging people violently into the Stygian Abyss-- I don't know how people haven't read it.

My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult. It teaches the value of life and how easily things can fall apart.

Nope, Dante's Inferno.
It shows that there are people out there who would walk any distance to save you because they'd be lost without you in their life.
Dante's Inferno taught me that the greatest suffering
is to remember the happy time
in misery, and this our teacher knows.

I'm sitting in my living room, posting a blog using an 11 year old's laptop. I'm 16 years old, and I don't even have a laptop.

Called that shit.

Oh and I bought a North Face this weekend. And I took my bus to school for the first time this morning! '

Not allowed to wear those at my school.
Mostly because they'll fucking mug you for it.
Actually not "mostly", that's the only reason.
But a good reason it is.

I'm currently babysitting the kids who live across the street from me. They're playing Mario Kart on the Wii. I tried to play, but I discovered that I can't play video games for the life of me. It's not hand-eye coordination, because I have plenty of that.

It's because you're a girl.
Girls are bad at video games.
How the hell am I still talking about this blog?
Anyway--

Nope.

Ho-hum.
Anyway I think we're continuing the crusade of stupidity today with Fierce Fat Fucks or whatever.

I was in line at the grocery store today when I noticed the woman behind me eyeing my enchiladas. Always one to make conversation I said “They are actually really good for frozen food, no preservatives or weird chemicals, and they’re tasty.”

That's when I get a bemused look on my face and put my hand under my chin as if to say "this is really interesting, do go on."

She sighed, in what I would call “longing,” and said – “I can’t, I’m on Atkins.” She paused, smiled wryly and said, “sixth time’s the charm, right?”

Nine hundred twenty ninth time is a charm.
At what point do you go with a new approach?

I must have made a “huh” face because she went on. “My work charges me extra for my insurance if I’m overweight – it costs me about $600.00 a year. I’ve been on and off every diet and I’m heavier now then when I started. I’ll lose 30 pounds and gain back 35, lose 20 and gain back 40, it’s a vicious cycle but $600 is a lot of money to me, so I have keep trying, right?”

Gearin' up for impending bottomsore.
If you smoke or you are fat or other health risks yes you should be charged more for insurance.
Welcome to reality, assholes.
Oh right, we're supposed to be moving backwards because there was a post I mentioned I wanted to cover.
Well in the interest of coherency I'm going to move back to a post from yesterday then return to our progress from yesterday.

Since Fat Bastard is going to cry if he’s not allowed to send a goon squad to disrupt Fierce Fatties or post his own hate, and since he’s using censorship as an excuse to not debate me face-to-face, I am posting all the hate we received over the past week into this post.

In other words,

I'd like to take this time to point out the Goon Squad is Something Awful, not 4chan.
4chan being the ones who were raiding you.
Anyway, moving back.
Oh wait, no, here's another good post:

People all over have been making the argument that, if fat people choose to be fat, then they are responsible for any illnesses that result.

>People
>taking personal responsibility
What planet are you from?

If fat really were a lifestyle choice, then I would agree. Totally.

Errrr yes it is?

Just imagine all the money we could save for far worthier causes if we just threw all undeserving ill under the bus!

Hmmm there's a thought.
No, no, we can't do that. That'd be-- what's the word?
What's the word where something is a good idea but you can't do it because it makes you sound like Hitler?

In fact, here is a list of 20 other conditions I’m sick of paying for:

Proceed. I'm always prepared for some vitriol.

-Pre-eclampsia/HELLP syndrome: Haven’t you ever heard of abortion, ladies? Pay or die.

Yeah, exactly. Fuck fetuses.
"Fuck Fetuses" sounds like a punk rock band, come to think of it.
It probably is.

-Noise-induced hearing loss: Ear plugs are cheap, you know, much cheaper than hearing aids and cochlear implants. No, you didn’t need to get old either when suicide is an option.

I must say this callousness is a nice change of pace.
I particularly like the part where she says "you didn't need to get old either when suicide is an option" or as I would have phrased it "you didn't need to get old when you can FUCKING KILL YOURSELF." I know this is supposed to be hyperbole to drive a point home but I'm enjoying this.

-Conditions aggrivated by poverty: Here’s the classified section of the newspaper. Hey, only a buck! Lookitthat!

That is a good argument, actually. Get a fucking job and maybe you won't be so miserable.
I'm doing a full time job currently and I'm not even getting paid. It won't kill you, honest.

-HIV infection: I don’t care if your partner lied to you. Haven’t you evolved enough to read minds? And why didn’t you put that condom under the microscope to make sure there were no holes in it?

Actually if you use a condom correctly it will never tear. That "99.9%" shit is just to cover their asses.

Any physical or mental infirmity caused by battle: That’s what basic training is for. And they even give you protective gear! You should’ve USED IT!

:|
You do realize ballistic weave vests are not invincible tools of destruction, right? It's pretty much for light arms fire and debris, not for taking rifle rounds to the chest.
I was with you until that one. Now you just sound silly.

This is by no means an exhaustive list.

Have any more to add?

How far are YOU willing to go with this?

Yeah I would: fat people who spend more time sassing off on the internet than losing weight.

Anyway, I don’t have a citation for the claim in the title, but one of my famous neighbors has a son who had gastric bypass surgery (who doesn’t?). Apparently, his wife had one too, got thin, and dumped him soon after.

Have I told you about my plan?

According to my famous neighbor, divorce is common in couples affected by bariatric surgery and that surgeons are well aware of this, yet they don’t discuss it with patients (what DO they discuss, exactly?).

When you're trying to sell an expensive car you don't talk about how the brakes don't work, come on.

Um, I thought bariatric surgery was about health? Are you trying to tell me that this woman’s newfound health inspired her to run off with a man she met online who, as she says, shares her love of corned beef? (Yes, that’s exactly why she left him. They both loved corned beef.)

So here's my plan. I think I've shared this before, but I feel the word hasn't spread far enough yet:
Find a nice girl in the third world and bring her to first world standards of living. She'll be so thrilled to have the filth cleaned off her she'll never leave you for another man over her love of corn beef.
In fact you might very well be the first person to ever feed her fully so you can pretty much introduce any foods you like.
Think of her like a Pygmalion experiment.
Here's a post entitled "On kinky sex or the way the world should be" and this is giving me more pause for thought than an entry in a blog should but probably not the way she intended.
Dare I venture?
Of course. I am a Space Marine, after all. I know no fear for I am fear incarnate.

Over the summer, I had the chance to attend a BDSM fetish fair in Boston and, needless to say, I had the time of my life.

I feel bad for BDSM devotees (devotees? Is that the right term?) because that's a fetish that requires dedication. You need to know how to tie knots, suit up a body harness-- some of that shit looks like it requires knowledge of construction.
So you do all this shit thinking you're going to-- I dunno land some nice pussy I guess and then look what shows up to your fair.

I blended right in, Boston was great, and I got all this cool fetish gear out of the deal.

Speaking from experience on leatherworking (Rank 40 [video game knowledge totally translates into real life]) leather can survive an amazing amount of trauma.

In the Fat-o-verse, there is a lot of discussion over expanding the concept of attractiveness to more people, and that brought me to this memory of my trip to Boston.

I'm just a simple man with a simple vision of beauty.
Or I'm stupid, I dunno, but I hardly consider rolls of fat attractive.

One of the first things I noticed about the people there was the ease with which they let it all hang out.

Well it's hard to keep it contained when you're wearing a harness.

Huge deathfats were walking around in fishnets and leather corsets, and no one batted an eye.

I already used why.jpg so I'm going to use an image I feel is equally appropriate:

R.I.P., Kitten ;_;

People who participate in fetish culture of any kind are sexual minorities, and while there is no guarantee that anyone will avoid prejudice, it is my experience that people who are into fetish are involved in other sexual minority pastimes as well, such as cross-dressing.

Cross-dating.
What?
I wonder if my brilliant plan (or "The Plan" as I've come to call it) would be considered "cross-dating". I still prefer "propagating the remnants of crusader culture" like that one bint said to me that one time because I personally think crusaders are hardcore and anything to further that image I think does good.

There are conservatives there, too, and I chose to wear a modest, but edgy Goth outfit. I was looking for a good/bad schoolgirl look.

Great thanks for ruining that image for me.
Fuck the internet.

When it comes to the discussion of “real women,” that idea can seem just as limiting as saying that only thin women are beautiful and deserve the spotlight. What does a “real” woman even look like?

Statistical aggregate based on age and race.
Yes, such a thing exists.

Is she the statistical average? Or is there a range of shapes and sizes that we can call “real?”

I feel like this is the fifth entry in a row I've said this but I guess it bears repeating:
STANDARD DEVIATION.
THERE IS A RANGE OF ACCEPTABLE DEVIATION BEFORE IT BECOMES WEIRD.

You can be a 90-pound compulsive eater. You can be a 400-pound anorexic. You don’t need to look sick to be sick.

>400 pound anorexic
Doing it wrong.
Oh, after looking I finally came to the entry I was first linked to that started this whole thing. June 3, 2010. This shit is ancient history.

Privilege… it’s something everyone has in some form or another*, but nobody wants to admit.

I have a lot of it in my personal situation.

I'll admit it.
It is pretty ballin' being a white man.
How much privilege can one person have?

I am a (lower) middle class cisgendered** straight white lady who lives in a medium sized city in the US.

And I'm upper middle class. How great is it to be me?

That’s a whole passel of privilege right there, but anyone living that life might not notice it, because I was pretty much BORN INTO all of those things.

I know, right? I didn't even do anything and already look at all this shit.
Man.

And what I want to focus on today is a privilege that I have not always had, and that is the privilege of being thin in the United States.

Whatever, adding it to my list of privilege. I'm thin and attractive.
Goddamn I must have bankrupted several small nations' luck by myself.

Things that thin people take for granted that are actually Thin Privilege…

I can go into any restaurant and not worry about whether the seating will accommodate me.

To borrow a line from Louis C.K.:
I could go to the year 2 and they'd have a table waiting for me.
I don't even know what they were doing in the year 2.
But a black guy looks at the same time machine and says "hey, man, not any time before 1980--"

Nobody is going to complain to me if I choose to wear a bikini that I am somehow ruining their day.

There should be laws.
You must be this hot to wear less than a Muslim Pacman ghost uniform (the word has left me because I only speak GOD FEARING languages like English and Latin. Also Japanese but let's not dwell on that--)
I'm convinced that's how they got started. Trying to keep the fatties under wraps but lost their way somewhere.

Nobody is examining the contents of my shopping cart at the grocery store and acting as the food police if I put some ice cream in it.

I mean that's their problem over there in the Middle East. All those delicious brown girls and you keep them wrapped up. What's wrong with you, friends?
Every single one of you should be saying "WOW! LOOK AT MY FORTUNE! SURROUNDED BY BROWN GIRLS AND OIL!" but no, so angry.
So big, so angry, so dead.

I could go on, but I think I have made my point.

Sorry, what were you saying about shit no one cares about?
I feel my analysis of the Middle East is ground breaking in several ways. How many people with advanced degrees have spent their entire live studying the conflicts there and some idiot that doesn't know dick about fuck figures it out instantly?
So not only did I find the source of conflict in the Middle East I also proved Zen works. It is better to unlearn something than to learn something.
Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan anyway I think I've spent enough time on this fuck. Doing other shit now~

Haah Waaw

First:
Now that that bit of merriment is out of the way, let's get to today's subject.
Oh yeah, Fierce Fatties. Do you feel that shiver down your spine? That is anticipation.
Oh, you know, we're just a bunch of bitches from hell and we speak our mind. Think we're ugly? Well you're just not strong enough to handle beautiful curves.
We won't censor you because we're freethinking, liberal ladies. Unless you disagree with us, then expect your post to be deleted.
Classy, ladies.

Hey guys… as many of you may or may not know, I am practically married to an amazing man who has changed my life forever. When he found out it was my week to write he asked if he could do it, he had a post knocking around in his head and had to share. So, without further ado here is my beloved BeOhBe with his rant on fat men and employment.

I WAS PROMISED A BLOG ABOUT FAT WOMEN AND THE VERY SECOND ENTRY (after the one whining about 4chan that I omitted) IS A POST BY A MAN.

I don’t blame that job loss on my being heavy. I don’t have any reason, really, to believe that to be the case, but it really started me thinking about the jobs that are and aren’t available for a guy my size. I spent ten years in a Fortune 50 company, mostly in technical roles, and, apparently, IT is full of guys like me.

So there you have it. Job loss is minutia in relation to being fat.
Are we just looking for an excuse to be butthurt (yes)?
Am I the only person who doesn't look for an excuse to whine?

It’s up to you to avoid those comedians who cross your line and sully topics you hold sacred, including fat jokes.

Patton Oswalt has an awesome bit about fat people.
Just thought I'd share.

I don’t believe in censorship (unless you’re an unrepentant asshole, in which case, I have no problem) because there is no end to the amount of offense people are capable of experiencing.

>I don't believe in censorship
>UNLESS--
God that is the best word in the English language. It's like magic. You can say you believe in something when in fact you're in the exact opposite camp because you qualified it a little bit.
You know what I believe should be censored?
NOTHING.
That's how actual proponents of no censorship think. There can be no exceptions. If you personally disagree with something then you, too, are free to voice your disagreement and evolution will take over. The strong message will endure and the weak will fade into obscurity.

Of course, I’m all for putting pressure on artists and entertainers who “cross the line,” but I am against any particular group or groups drawing that line and saying, “This far and no further.”

Cross the line according to who? You? The government? Which government? Outside of the people agreeing to let the government dictate these things, what authority is the government?

Since I was in third grade, I’ve wanted to be a kindergarten teacher. Teacher, at the time, seemed like an easy profession, but as I got older, I realized how complicated my career of choice was going to be.

BUREAUCRACY MAKES WHAT SHOULD BE A SIMPLE TASK A DAILY HERCULEAN EFFORT.

Especially when it comes to body positivity and what society calls “health.”

>Body positivity
So I'm starting to fall into the Iron Hands camp of "body positivity": their motto is "THE FLESH IS WEAK."

Soon, I will be mentoring “at risk” kindergarten and first grade students. I had to fill out a questionnaire which asked a number of questions about my skills. One question was “Are you able to mentor children on the subject of personal health? (Hygiene, nutrition, weight management, etc.)” and I thought about this for a long while. Honestly? No. I am not able to mentor children on the subject of health. Why? Because I’m not going to say what they want me to say. I’m going to suggest what I think is healthiest.

And now we enter this same issue I've been pressing. What do you know? "Suggest what you think is healthiest"? How do you know you're right?

I’m going to share my own experience (in a way a child can understand, of course).

I’m worried, though. How do I help instill body positivity in a young child? How do I teach it in a classroom? I guess it’s a learning process for me, too.

Any suggestions?

Yeah, I have a suggestion: teach them to read before they get to 9th grade and I have to deal with them, please.

Our comment policy isn’t posted or anything, but we do have one. It’s called the Asshole Rule and it’s fairly simple. If five people tag your comment as you being asshole, then I delete it. If this happens to three of your comments, then you’re banned from commenting entirely.

:3
Is this automatic? If so I could easily form a pretty powerful inquisitorial council where we just agree to burn the witch and report until they're banned. For someone so against censorship you sure do resort to some pretty byzantine measures to see only your message endures.

As fat activists, we have our work cut out for us. We literally have to fight for every advance we make. We have to fight for the right to be seen in public without being abused, to have clothing and medical equipment that accomodate us, and for countless other perks that some of our thinner counterparts take for granted.

>clothing that accommodates us
I can't find pants that fit me because I'm too skinny now and everyone is an out-of-control pig. Please, do continue.

Usually, when we think of fighting, we think of concrete actions such as protesting, writing letters, or shopping ethically.

Actually when I think of fighting I pretty much specifically think of this.

I work in a predominantly female office environment, so as you can imagine, the diet talk is nonstop.

Ha, ha, bet not much gets done there, am I right guys?

Whenever a group of people gang up on you to lecture you or ask if you’re really going to eat that, be blunt. Say yes and eat. Don’t hide.

Punch them in the face like Bruce Lee.

Fat acceptance has many facets. There’s Fatshion, HAES, conferences, studies, books…all sorts of ways to inform and educate yourself.

Hagen Daas is another form of fat activism.

Tthere are tons of super-articulate, amazing bloggers fighting the good fight out there, putting up with the trolls and the neigh-sayers, being “out” as fat, as it were.

>being "out" as fat
It's not like being gay. You can tell a fat person when you see them. That'd be like being "out" as a black person. You can kind of tell.

I know I really enjoyed blogging over at Fat-n-Sassy…until the trolls came and started arguing with me.

Giving me future targets, pretty much. This blog is an ally.

I watch a lot of A&E, (take from that what you will) so I got an eyeful of previews for their new show called “Heavy.”

It's about a class of tanks.

Maybe you have heard of it, but in case you haven’t, it follows two extreme deathfats through a weight loss program.

It follows an M4 Sherman and a Type 97 Shinhoto Chi-Ha. Bold move to follow the oft-unmentioned Japanese tanks.
Personally I'm rooting for the M4 Sherman but I am a bit biased when it comes to WW2.

The cons, however, outweigh the pros, which is to be expected in a program like this.

The fatal flaw of this, and most other programs similar in nature, is the reliance on cliches. The most extreme examples of obesity, health impairment, and limited mobility are paraded around to represent obesity as experienced by the typical American.

Oh right, the blog. Enough of my fictional television shows.
I have been stuck behind a huge pig in Target many times. Mobility is a problem for fat people, yes.

Serious trigger warning: The following post is about anorexia, thinspiration and suicide.

k
I've reviewed quite a few anorexic blogs and fat blogs so I'm very happy I'm getting this cross coverage.

How many times have you read, heard or been told that Fat Acceptance is enabling fatties to make horrible health choices?

You're free to eat whatever the fuck you want. Who the shit cares what you stuff into your fat, ugly face? You'll never be a DBG or DYG so you might as well live it up. I think you've made a critical mistake in assuming people care. Just don't complain to me when you have to buy five seats on a plane because your ass is 50 feet wide.
Take up more space, expect to pay more for services. Welcome. Welcome to humanity.

And yet, we never hear about how the wider culture, the popular culture, is doing a much, MUCH better job at encouraging reckless lifestyle choices and hastening our deaths.

People need more shame in their lives.
It's what keeps you normal.

Sometimes it’s really interesting to see the different ways that ideas are conveyed and how ironically a spin-off can vary from the original. Take Marilyn Wann’s Yay! Scale: it’s a product that, instead of giving you a number when you step on it, compliments you instead. It’s a great idea and I wish I had one.

Oh God, really?
The hugbox has really been invented.

Obviously there’s a big problem here. First of all, this is, of course, focused on women. Our only job in this world is to be thin and beautiful. If you’re not doing that, there’s something WRONG WITH YOU.

Lose all the weight you want, it'll never fix the unfortunate arrangement of your facial features.

Secondly, the big emotional rewards that come from losing weight are things like compliments from friends and family who now — what? — love you more because you’re thin? Being eyed-up by strangers at the bar/on the bus/walking down the street/at work/at school because you’re more fuckable?

WHOAAA, SOMEONE'S JEALOUS.

Personally, I think anything that gets women out of the “lose weight, feel great!” mentality is a GOOD THING.

GOOD THING.
CAPS FOR EMPHASIS.

I’m hoping I made a difference. However, the thing that kept coming up was the idea that losing weight would improve people’s health.

Well there are still legions of DBG and DYG out there.
Looks like the ol' American woman (MAMA LET ME BE) is a lost cause.

I have a serious issue with food policing because there is a shitload to hate about it: self-righteous lectures, healthist boasting, unwelcome interventions, guru obsession.

>Healthist
and other invented words.

I keep seeing references to fat women that are meant to be positive, calling us “real women”: plus-sized clothing stores who advertise that their clothes are for “real women”; calling thin women “anorexic” or “twigs” and suggesting that they “need to eat a sandwich”; shirts that say “real women have curves”; men who find fat women attractive saying that they like a woman who “looks like a woman.”

Yeah, those people slay me.
"IF I WANTED TO FUCK A 9 YEAR OLD BOY I'D FUCK A 9 YEAR OLD BOY."
I don't know what kind of women you idiots have been looking at but you can have less than massive deposits of fat in your gross, sweaty floppy tits and still be built like a woman, I mean Christ all mighty.

I would love to have more fat positive t-shirts, but they all seem to be saying something nasty about thin women.

Proving your entire "movement" stems on jealousy so you try to establish yourself as somehow equal to thin women as if this is some sort of binary comparison to make.

Or the phrase “curves in all the right places,” which seems to mean fat is cool if you mean a small waist and huge boobs and ass.

"Curves in the right place" do not exist. You either look attractive or you do not.
There is a range of acceptable deviation but once your SD starts to approach a certain number your odds aren't looking good.

I personally know a woman who was ridiculed in a belly dance class by a plus-sized instructor who told her, “Dearie, this class is belly dance for women, so if you look like a boy and you don’t have a belly, this probably isn’t the class for you.”

Haah waaw

I love the old line “You’re just choosing/making excuses to be fat!”

Oh, which excuse will she deploy to counter this? Metabolism? "I'VE ALWAYS BEEN ON THE HEAVY SIDE"?

Frankly, who in their right mind would choose to be fat in our culture?

:|
self-control is hard, eating McDonald's 3 meals a day is so tasty-- not much of a choice to make for most people.

To me, making excuses is about placing the blame on someone else for your own faults, or at least minimizing your culpability. But fatness isn’t a fault, we really AREN’T culpable, and we aren’t blaming anyone for anything.

It can also be dodging blame like you're doing now.
You made a choice, just own up to it. I'm not saying you're wrong for making the choice but you are for being COWARDLY about it.

Furthermore, why aren’t people ever accused of making excuses to be anti-fat? After all, they just don’t want to accept that they labored for nothing/

>staying skinny
>labor
Really it's continually making right choices than actual work but you wouldn't know that having just eaten your way through an entire Arby's.

Ahem, allow me to get my geek on here a bit. For Christmas we were unexpectedly gifted with a Wii. We promptly borrowed Mario Kart from my brother-in-law and have been having a hoot with it ever since. Normally I’m not a big Mario fan (though I am a HUGE Nintendo freak

How can you not be a huge Mario fan?
Whatever--

my main love being Samus Aran from the Metroid series),

That's kind of funny considering she's ridiculously attractive, athletic and blonde. She was also created by a man, so isn't that PERPETUATING STEREOTYPES OF WOMEN THAT YOU SHOULDN'T BE STANDING FOR?
She's also a ruthless bounty hunter who commits genocide at least twice that I know of. She'd make Space Marines proud, despite being raised by FILTHY XENOS.

My first game system was the SNES and it came with Super Mario World. It didn’t seem odd to me in the slightest that the protagonist was a short, fat man.

You do realize they made him portly so he'd appear as a more solid target on the screen?
The only reason he has a mustache is to establish the fact he has a face?
I'm serious when I say character design decisions back then were made out of necessity more than anything and often anything complex we now take for granted simply was not technologically feasible at the time.

His fat is never an issue: Peach never asks him to lose weight, Luigi never pokes fun at him.

Someone never played Mario RPG or Paper Mario.
Anyway I think this post has dragged on long enough and I didn't even get to the posts I wanted to talk about, good grief.
TIME FOR A TWO-PARTER OH NO~

OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

So today's writer's block is a bunch of fuck. I can't even be bothered to quote it but it's something like "if you could own any car, what would it be?" and all of the responses are how I'd have to respond: "I don't really know anything about cars."
I didn't know this until recently: there are two writer's blocks at any given time. I guess the logic is between the two you'll find something worth making a bullshit post about but as it turns out the other question sucks too:

What would be your first purchase if you won the lottery?

The answer, according to Livejournal, is "pay off my credit card debts" which confirms the average age of Livejournal is at least six years higher than I expected.
Ignoring for the moment paying a debt isn't really "purchasing" something it's nice to see as a whole everyone is in massive, crippling debt.
Anyway today we have a blog FOR FRIEND'S ONLY but don't worry I don't think anything is actually censored from normal people.
I don't know what I mean by "don't worry" like anyone is losing sleep but whatever.
Anyway her (his?) pressing answer to this question:

I know it sounds stupid and maybe I'm losing my childish sides, but I would pay off some of my bills. And then the rest of it? Probably put it in savings. I know, right?

I find it hard to believe everyone is this fiscally responsible. Surely attitudes like this aren't how the recession started?

I think I'm done for the night, though. My back is killing me, and I just wanna relax for the last half hour I have. Only I won't, because my boyfriend likes me doing his nails, which he asked for tonight.... better get to it.

Oh so your boyfriend is gay, I get it.

I'm watching Advent Children Complete (in English) because it's SO GOOD. I don't know why I like it so much. But I do. I think it's because secretly, I freaking love Final Fantasy VII.

Advent Children is the Final Fantasy VII movie where they replaced all the characters with boring husks and replaced the plot with technobabble. It's not a bad movie if you are very young or very stupid because it has a lot of bright flashes and colors.

Back to VII. I LOVE ZACK. Oh my god, do I love Zack. I want to keep him. And take him everywhere. Crisis Core was such a sad game. Also, Advent Children made me love Tifa. She's kinda badass.

People played Crisis Core?
I'm a huge fan of Final Fantasy and I've never played Crisis Core. It's like a game made for girl fans of the series and I think it sold a ton so THANKS A LOT FANS OF FINAL FANTASY FOR CONTINUING TO RUIN FINAL FANTASY.
Anyway that's actually the end of her blog so I guess it's time for two blog Wednesday, the best holiday there is. Here's a furry with some problems.
That brings up an interesting point: is it possible to be a furry without problems?

Well, job thing went pretty terribly. I had 3 panic attacks and cried twice in the middle of training.

The job training is working at a call center, incidentally.
You know of all the jobs to get stressed out about this is not one of them.

I just can't handle 8 hours in a room full like that in that type of atmosphere, and pay attention and function.

You could come to my horrible high school where no one pays attention for more than five minutes, then. No need to function for lengths of time.
Oh but they'd probably mug you.
On second thought that's one of those jobs I suggest you avoid.

Today I made calls and have things set up to see my therapist again and called my lawyer to add this incident to my disability hearing file.

Ohhhh I see what you're doing. Say no more, you leech on society.

I hope this can even BE a documented incident - since I avoided breaking down in front of everyone they might think I am faking it and just don't want to work. That is SO far from the truth, but they have to be careful of people who do try to be leeches.

Instead of being down on this guy I should learn from his example. I had a rough day yesterday so why even bother trying? I can just collect disability.

Hi. Today I went shopping with my mom and got lots of new work clothes. Now I need to keep the job long enough to wear them all. Haha. Joke. Anyway, thanks mom.

Seriously, still super-nervous. I am slightly better today than yesterday, when I broke down a couple times. I really hope I am ready for this. :(

Whoever wants to hire this yo-yo: I found some evidence that she might not be a reliable worker.

The 'downside' of having a job is I'm going to lose all my help. Which is as it should be, I don't want to mooch off the system. But it's going to be hard budgeting for food and medical expenses, and I will have to cut back on my therapy visits and other care.

Seems a bit backwards that you get more help while working than when you don't almost as if they're encouraging you not to work but whatever.

AHHHHHHHHHH I leave in an hour or so to go to work thing. SO FREAKED OUT.

I might pop a xanax.

What was that book where they used mind-bending drugs to create a docile population of workers who didn't care they lived in a horrific police state?
Brave New World or something?
Ha, ha, yeah. Crazy imagination, that Aldous Huxley.

I'm debating closing this down to private entries only to prevent further drama.

Well aren't you a cocksucking liar?
Oh, I guess you were just "debating", fair enough.

So, yesterday I went to a Quaker meeting (aka church) with Merci.

Oh someone with agoraphobia, generalized anxiety, social anxiety and has trouble focusing on tasks for long periods of time is going to a small room where people don't talk for hours on end.
I bet this went well.
So I'm going to list a few things I don't like and then the activity I'm going to do:
I don't like being around people
I don't like loud noises or annoying lights
I think I'm going to a dance club tonight.
Good idea, yes or no?

My new years resolution is to lose some weight.

And overweight, you're a real winner.

I feel icky tonight! Girly probs in time for the holidays. :( Pain meds are not helping. Cookies are not helping either. So it's early to bed with a heating pad for me!!

Women and your vaginas.
They say that's your punishment for Eve's deception of Adam in the Garden of Eden.
I always thought that was a little suspicious. If Jesus died for all the sins of humanity, right, then why do women still suffer pain in childbirth and men must toil in the fields all the days of their lives, if that was the punishment for the Original Sin which indeed it was? Should that not have ended after all that Jesus shit?

I'm putting some necklaces I made up for sale on FurBuy.

>FurBay
Dare I go to Furbay?
It's an electronics distributor.
Maybe this is some furry pun on eBay and not an actual website?
Yes, let's go with that.
Anyway an awesome blog was just brought to my attention by someone in my Linkshell so EXPECT AWESOME FRIDAY UPDATE.

Hmmm

Let's see what's going on in the wide world of blogging today: oh right, nothing as usual.
Today's writer's block:

If you could change one thing about yourself, except for looks, what would it be?

The fact I don't have a billion dollars I consider my greatest flaw and so logically I'd change that.

I would like to be more intelligent. You can never be too intelligent....

>implying you're at all intelligent
That's pretty funny. "Well I'm already really intelligent but I guess a little more couldn't hurt--"

Then I could beat Ollie at chess & Scrabble.....which annoys me more than anything in the world.

That's what you'd use your intelligence for. Beating your friends at board games.
You wouldn't even become a chess genius or anything, you'd just beat the one guy specifically.
Okay.

I'm still seeing Chace, it's been since 24th December 2010 so a while now I guess!

>December 24th
>a while
Yeah, real fucking long, kid.

I really like him, but it feels different, I feel in control...like not all...paranoid and thinking about things too much....which is really good! I'm really happy at the moment. The only thing that really annoys me is that since I've told Ollie abut Chace, he's been so wierd towards me...I know he hates Chace...and I'm not really sure why. I think that he's not impressed with how I forgave Chace for saying that he 'had to set an alarm to remember to call me'.

Well if Ollie won't forgive Chace then--
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Also where the fuck do you live that your friends are named Ollie and Chace?
Are you some kind of talking dog and these are your dog friends?

But that was one thing...one thing out of a million brilliant things he's done....or how lovely he is towards me. I think he disrespects that...maybe he thought I was different. Either way, I don't like it. Ollie said to me after that incident that I should ignore chace and never speak to him again, he thinks he's a Ollie means a lot to me, and honestly....if thngs were different...I would be with Ollie...I'm sure of it.

Easy there, captain ellipsis.

So today Naomi, Nina, Nicole, and I drove down to Portsea hotel for lunch because it was an absolute PERFECT day (I drove in my new car woo!), around 28 degrees,

Wait, stop. You can drive?
Really?
As in an automobile on a legal road and not one of those Barbie Jeeps 5 year olds drive around their parents' trailer?

I really don't understand men. For example. You know how I told you about Chace having to 'set an alarm'to remember to call me? Well that night, even after saying that, he STILL didn't call me when he said he would.

This is where that website Omegle has a huge advantage over blogging because I can flat-out tell this cunt I don't give a shit about her and her boyfriend troubles and she should quit running her goddamn yap about it.
Then they get all indignant and I can call them more mean names and I even had one girl admit she was crying one time.
I WIELD AN INCREDIBLE POWER.

So I got upset, and I don't even think I was being irrationally upset. So I tried to call him, he didn't answer. I was trying to call him coz I was angry, to say basically 'just forget the whole thing'.

Anytime someone says "I don't think I was being irrational" to me they might as well be saying "LOOK HOW INCREDIBLY UNREASONABLE I AM!"

So a week later (now) apparently I'm a drama queen. He said I am 'playing games and am all about drama'.

So my question is, am I?

...or was it a valid situation to get upset over?

Stop. Yes you are.
Okay, proceed with whatever dumb evidence you have.

I don't think I was even THAT upset over it, as I said, I only sent him that message...now it seems to be just completly blown out of proportion, and there is no way I'm going to be apologising and begging for forgivness...

We're talking about a phone call that was supposed to happen a week ago.
Bro, can't you just call this cunt once so she'll stop running her goddamn mouth about it?
I understand she's not the most pleasant person to talk to but you know, you could show a little consideration towards me.

I really like Chace. I'm really trying to be myself around him, but it's hard...coz that means trying to act like I've never been hurt...without all of my guards and bullshit attitude that comes with it. And jumping to conclusions and looking too much into things. Coz I find that when I'm guarded I act kind of stuck up and ...angry. ..get pissed off at things that I really shouldn't be... Which is not good.

If I have to read another entry about this missed phone call I'm calling this entire entry. This is literally the fourth entry on this.

I want Chace to see the real me, and these days I don't really let people see the real me...coz I'm so fucking scared of them using it against me to hurt me. I know that I have been very guarded with him up until now...I just hope I haven't blown anything with him, coz I think he's pretty special.

Did you know "because" contains more than three letters?
You'd be forgiven for thinking it contained exactly three after this blog but I'm pretty sure it has a couple more.

Ok so I'll tell you about a situation that happened last night and let me know what you think.

I'll be sure to tell you.

So when I was on the phone to Chace last night he said to me 'I'll call you tomorrow'. Then he said 'Wait, can you call me coz I'll forget to call you'. So then I responded with '...ummm I guess ok'. Then I think he picked up on my reaction and he was like 'Wait, no it's ok I'll call you, I'll set an alarm to remember'.

Oh my God are we still talking about this? Really?

So my question is, set an alrm to call me? wtf?! I think about him quite a lot and definitely wouldn't need an alarm to remember to call him!

This is why you bring a brown or yellow girl out of the third world. She'd be thrilled to own a telephone let alone get a call on it.

So should I be worried about that?! Or is that just a boy thing and I'm looking too much into it. I don't think I ask for much but I have to draw the line somewhere....and a comment like that definitely doesn't make me feel special. :(

OH NO, WELL IF YOU DON'T FEEL SPECIAL 24/7 SOMETHING IS DEFINITELY WRONG!

Gosh I wish for guys to suprise me with weekend getaways etc.....when apparently I'm reaching for the stars with that...really I should be wishing for a guy just to think about me enough to remember to call me. So. That is sad huh.

Telling you Chace. Brown girl'd never ever pull this kind of fuck.
Didn't I say I was going to stop writing this if she mentioned that phone thing again?
FUCK IT. ENTRY OVER.

Oh God Fuck Off

I fucking hate today's writer's block question. Not only because of the subject matter but it's a bunch of heavy-handed, dumbass answers of an issue no one responding understands.

How do you feel about standardized tests? Do you think they accurately indicate a student's knowledge or ability?

10000 "THERE ARE MANY KINDS OF INTELLIGENCE AND THE TESTS TEST NONE LOL!!!!" later and I'm fucking angry.
The reason standardized tests fail you morons is because the bar is set so incredibly low and even if you miss the bar the first time you often have three or four chances to recover. It'd be like if I set up a genius test and the only question was "can you zip up your fly without getting your dick caught? You only have 15 attempts to do this" and if you can guess what? You're a genius!
Why bother at that point? It compounds when the schools that are tested the most are often the worst schools so yeah, take away valuable instruction time to see if they can spell the word "hoping" (hint: it's not 'hopeing' and "hopping" is a different word idiots) which they couldn't two days ago so I'm guessing a miracle didn't occur between then and now.
Whew. Anyway, on to our blog.
Her response:

Of course not! There are seven different types of intelligences and standardized tests accurately test none of them. They don't help a student show true understanding of subject matter, only that 1 out of 4 times, he can guess correctly. They are loathsome and I believe I heard somewhere that around the time they were introduced and leaned upon heavily, ADD prescriptions went up.

Wow, you heard somewhere ADD prescriptions went up. I'm sold! Don't bother citing anything just, you know, make up shit as you go along.

But here's the underlying problem with standardized tests: Knowledge, intelligence, education and the learning process are not easy concepts. Taking a person and helping him through the steps to learn new skills, understand parallels in literature or use the scientific method is a highly personal journey. Each person learns a little differently and takes a different amount of time to learn different things.

BECAUSE WE
ARE ALL LIKE SNOWFLAKES.
Oh my God I don't have the stamina today to put up with this.

Standardized tests seek to make us all the same. They take this rich tapestry of life and reduce it to "Do you know this fact? Y/N"

So how would you fix it? Everyone hates these standardized tests but I have yet to hear one plausible alternative to them.
Here's some sort of block of colors that's supposed to tell me about her personality. I have no idea how to read this so I'm just going to assume it's calling her a cunt and move on.
I just took the quiz that generates these blocks of color (I have nothing better to do with my life)
and mine featured more earth tones and grays while hers was just a corona of contradictory color so I guess it nailed something correctly.

Ghosts never seem to have problems walking through walls or people, but why doesn't anyone have issues with floors? If you're so insubstantial that you have literally no effect on your surroundings, why aren't you always falling through the floor?

... Because ghosts fly?
You've never noticed how they float, really?

It occurs to me that some people could be upset by a commonality in video games for the default of the player avatar to be male, as though the gender of the avatar affects the enjoyment of the game.

Most people prefer to play a character that looks like them, yes.
I, on the other hand, can never make a character badass enough to encapsulate how awesome I am so might as well make a girl.

Now, I am the first person to flail with glee when the main character is by default a woman instead of a man and doubly so when the game isn't a 'girly game', but I've never been particularly bothered by this occurrence.

>Default female avatar
>not girly
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I've been playing video games for nigh on 18 years, let's see how many examples of that I can come up with.
The Metroid series--
Arguably Final Fantasy 6--
Uhhh-- Bayonetta I guess--
So less than 20 games, great.

I used to poke fun of it when I first had my Pokemon Yellow game, but I was never really offended. Maybe it is just long years of conditioning that I expect myself to default to male in a game, but I think it is more that I am extremely comfortable playing a male character.

You do realize Pokemon Yellow is based on a cartoon with a male main character, yeah?
And that you've been able to pick a female lead since Ruby and Sapphire?

Something that makes me squee with delight is when a female avatar seduces a female NPC in a game that was obviously made for men to play. I'm not sure why, but it makes me happy to see lesbianism (Female homosexuality? Is this the PC term? Do we even have one yet?) in any game. I feel it is highly underrepresented and would love to see more of it about.

Do you play video games? There are lesbians all over the place.
Consider your primary audience~

Maybe I'm a little bit crazy, but hearing a knock at my door is possibly one of the most terrifying noises I ever experience.

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.'
Yeah when you try to rip off an idea from someone make sure you pick someone a little more obscure than EDGAR ALLAN POE.
People still can't follow basic directions:

How would you describe the last decade in one sentence?

Her response:

Oh. Fuck.

>two periods
>neither word constitutes a sentence

Today has been one of the most frustrating days ever. This morning, it was difficult to wake up Doryen, so I was awake a little longer. Then it took me forever to find a razor that wasn't dull.

... To shave your legs, right?
RIGHT?

Has anyone else noticed that sometimes when you add the word 'my' to a slightly intimate sentence, it suddenly becomes uncomfortably personal? For example:

I always feel like a canary when I wear yellow underpants.

I always feel like a canary when I wear my yellow underpants.

Can't say I even know what you're talking about.

I usually whine about useless drivel on this journal and I'm certain that this will be no different, especially since it's nearly one in the morning as I write this. Let me begin with a qualification: I love my boyfriend. I adore him. He is a perfect gentleman to me, but isn't stupid enough to believe that I can't take the harsh realities of life (though he has yet to learn where my pain tolerance lies).

I'm reading that last part a lot of different ways.

He is exhausted all the time, and I can't blame him because he works overtime all day, then goes to class at night, Monday through Thursday. Normally, this might not be a problem except that he has been living with me for the past three weeks and I'm horny out of my mind. I don't want masturbation, it feels hollow and unsatisfactory, I want his *hands* on my *body*, his heat burning my skin. I want him to *want* me.

I think I suddenly understand what you mean about the whole "my" thing.
Especially considering I'm sure you're both morbidly obese.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Here's a cute story about how she met her boyfriend online.
So cute I can't even be bothered to copy and paste it here, I mean fuck off, goddamn.
Watching movies online together is like 18 levels of pathetic.

Therefore what you need to do, instead of appealing to your demographic's logos (that's Greek for logic and not their corporate symbol)

Oh is it Greek? Thank you for that.

Why is it that when you look at a pair of men together, you instantly believe that they are both fully homosexual and when you see a pair of women together, you think that they're probably closer to bisexual?

Because having spoken to many women and men women are far, far more likely to claim to be bisexual in some sort of petty attempt to attract men than gay men, who are typically gay?
I'd wager if you asked online you could find more people claiming to be bisexual women than heterosexual women.

Attention everyone!

I got my hood pierced =D

Your what?
Oh!
Oh...
Great.
It has a shiney, light blue jewel now.
Yeah, great. Any time I see people with genital piercings (which happens far more often than it should for those of you about to say "well how often does that happen, really?") my immediate thought is "mental illness".

A few thoughts on modern management of big businesses and that really should be done to fix their broken code of morality

>business
>morality
no.
Moving on from this post, in fact~
Now here's a post entitled "statistics and why I think they're bullshit" and this should be interesting.

I take as my primary (and really only) example, Deal or no Deal. Everyone probably knows the premise of the game- the contestant picks one of 30 odd suitcases, each with an amount of money on the inside and for the duration of the game, picks the other suitcases to see what was inside them until he or she finally gets to see which one was theirs.

>everyone knows the premise of this game
>let me explain it to you
Great thanks for this.

The player makes two choices, and two choices only: the suitcase he picks at the beginning and at the very end where he decides whether or not to switch cases at the end. All of the crap in the middle? Filler. No, his statistics aren't actually changing because he's not making any new choices.

Oh is that right?
There are 30 cases, the object of the game is to get the case with a million dollars in it. Assuming you do not know what is contained in your case, your odds of initially picking the case with a million dollars are 1:30, the same as picking a case with any discreet amount of money in it.
If you open a case and it does not contain a million dollars your odds increase to 1:29 because you have successfully eliminated a case in the wild, thereby increasing the odds the case you picked is the right one.
The situation you described would require you to never initially pick a case and just eliminate them at random, in which case your odds still increase as you pick successive cases but overall your odds are 1:30.
GIRLS AND STATISTICS, AM I RIGHT GUYS?

But this is my inherent complaint with statistics- I still think it's mostly bullshit. Yes, you can predict fairly accurately what card is going to come up next or, if you talk to a large enough group of people, what someone's preferences are going to be but in the end, it's still a 1 to 52 chance that you're going to pull a 3 of spades out of a pristine deck. Yes, it *is* less likely that after you pull out a spade that you'll pull out another spade, but I think the acknowledged margin of error proves my point just fine.

No it doesn't you stupid cow. A margin of error takes place only over the course of thousands of trial runs.
That'd be like flipping a coin once, getting heads and concluding that coin can only get heads because it happened one time.
Ever heard of a confidence interval?
Jesus Christ.

In conclusion, I would make an awful Deal or no Deal contestant. I would pick my case completely at random and open the rest of the cases in descending order, exhibiting little to no emotion as each was opened.

That would be part of the absolute best strategy, yes, but you came up with it for the entirely wrong reason. Your goal is to pick cases in any discreet pattern and then switch cases at the end when it comes down to 1:2 because of a statistical principle I'm not going to explain because this entry has already gone on too long.

If there are any mathematicians or statisticians, I would be interested to hear your opinions on the matter, but please only address what I've said here because I won't understand much more.

It is actually impossible to fully disprove you with the information you've provided because your knowledge of statistics is so scant I can't even invoke basic Statistics 101 principles.
You're probably someone who thinks the odds of getting tails on a coin flip approaches 1 with each successive flip of "heads".
Uuuuuuuuuuuh fuck. Anyway my head is swimmin' so I'm going to go do something else.