Small Steps Corrupt

I find today's writer's block "what is your favorite mythological character or creature" by Herasrevenge somewhat self-serving. HERA'S REVENGE? MYTHOLOGICAL FIGURES? HMMMM?
Hera, for those of you woefully ignorant of the one true religion is the queen of the gods and wife and sister of Zeus.
Hey they were around when there were like five things in all of creation so it's not like they had many choices for a spouse.
I was on the look out for the one tool factory (Victorgraywolf probably) who was going to do that edgy thing and say JESUS, MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN but Livejournal never fails to disappoint and I couldn't find that guy in the first three pages so FUCK IT HERE WE ARE.
Her (his?) response:

The phoenix. It's my symbol of hope that someday I will be able to rise from the ashes of all of my problems to be reborn as good as new.

:|

Well, I have to say things have completely and totally changed for me! First off, I am totally over J at this point. In fact, since my last post, I now have a BOYFRIEND!!!!! *happydanceofsqueeingjoy*

Oh good it's more of this.

The weirdest part about it: he's actually J's best friend since middle school. I know it looks bad, but we had been hanging out, just the two of us, a couple of times, and we were talking all the time online. Then, one day he asked me what I would say if he were to ever ask me out.

Oh don't care.

Next week will officially be a month, so I'm hoping we can go out on that day or maybe even make him dinner or something like that. Most of our "dates" are really just us hanging around each other's houses, but the time feels just as special as if he took me out for a night on the town.
Wow one entire month.

That's like, pffft, 30 whole days!

Well, I'm back on talking terms with J, and things are a bit awkward for me. See, he's planning on moving in with the girlfriend, who I still insist he barely knows, very soon. He doesn't have a job for sure out there, nor does he know what school he's going to be going to.

You're in college?
Really?
This is high school psychology.

Let's see what else...OH! I've officially decided I have to drop ALL of my classes this semester instead of just two due to health problems, so finding guys that way is completely out...Yes, that's all I've been focusing on right now b/c health-wise things aren't doing so well and I need an escape.

Oh good it's more of this. Have I reviewed this blog before?

Okay, I couldn't resist answering this one! I'm very much a realist. I know things aren't made out of silver and gold and unicorns and rainbows, but they're not total crap either.

>you
>realist
>you've "squee"ed before
NO STOP FUCK IT.
Actually "fuck it" indeed because I have SHIT TO DO IN THE MORNING.

The Emperor knows, the Emperor is watching.

Spent the better part of the evening assassinating Guardians in RIFT. Truly, a waste of mankind's potential.
Anyway I think we have some kind of blog here today.
oh great new version of Blogger. So now instead of just having a handy box pop up it grays out my entire window and a different box pops up.
Makes sense to me~
Here's our WB for the day:

What's the worst thing you ever did to a partner during the course of a relationship? Did you ever move beyond it?

Cut her eyes out.

I've punched my boyfriend in the face a few times. I'm not proud of it. Yes, we've moved past it.

Sorry I just stole your thunder with my insanity.

I'm drinking some warm-ish grapefruit juice and it's not tasing so good. Tastes like there's a hint of alcohol in it and that's a disgusting taste to me right now.

... So stop drinking it?

Funny, because I used to drink grapefruit juice and gin a lot.

I have a memory in high school one night before school I mixed lots of gin and some grapefruit juice in a large dasani bottle and I put it in the freezer. I started drinking it on my way to school the next morning. The memory gets a little blurry here because this is not the only time I've been drunk at school and the episodes are getting mixed up.

Yeah I had a kid who claimed he had vodka mixed with his orange juice.
I called him a dumbass.
No actually I just pretended like I didn't hear it because I didn't want to wrest the drink from him and investigate further.
Fine, get drunk at 9 in the morning as a 9th grader.

The drunkest I've ever been at school all happened before lunch time. Was drinking and had a lot of fun in my first class. Then I get drunker during my second class and I'm unable to do work. I put my head down on the desk and idk If I'm sleep or not but I get that feeling in my stomach and jump up and run to the bathroom to puke, of course. I'm told I passed out in the bathroom. I Remember waking up in the nurses office with the school nurse all in my face asking me shit. My best friend and a couple of other people came to visit me in the nurses office. Then my stepmom came to get me and I left early.

Why are you telling me this story? You should be so ashamed of this episode that it goes to the grave.

One of my suite mates is indirectly interfering with my sex life.

She has an issue with my boyfriend being here a lot. She... seems lonely.

Threesome.
Uh-huh.

I mean, she's here a lot with no visitors. I want to get it in with my boyfriend. However when we have sex, it's not exactly quiet lol I'm a screamer lol (tmi?)

Great thanks for th-- WAIT NOW YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT TOO MUCH INFORMATION?
WHAT THE FUCK, LADY?

I'd rather do it when she's gone but she doesn't really leave. I don't want her to hear because I don't want to make her uncomfortable but geez... I guess I should just learn to keep it quiet, huh. lol

Ha-- ugh.

I'm going to ask my dad if Jeremy can come home with me for these few days. I'm sure he will say no because it may make the other people (non-family) in the house feel awkward since we are not married and they have 2 daughters that are young and ah, It's a complicated situation but mostly Jeremy just wouldn't have a place to sleep.

This is one of those rare blogs where I just let the words wash over me in grim satisfaction that the hits will keep on rolling.

The living room would not really work since it is a public area in the house and he can't stay in my room because my dad don't play that. LOL. I am pregnant, daddy.

SEE?
Holy shit, I didn't even read ahead. I just sat back and said "let this one ride" and bam.
Didn't she also imply she was drinking a few posts ago?
What's up, burden on the state?
How's that FAS monstrosity percolating in the alcohol swill you call amniotic fluid doing?

I also want to get some professional pictures taken with Jeremy, while I'm pregnant. I don't have money to spend like that BUT I was looking through that old coupon booklet I got during my McDonald's days and I get get 40% off a 5-pose picture packet. I'm so excited because Jeremy and I have no pictures together and I'm pregnant! I want to document it so I can give pictures to my family and whatnot. But, mostly I just want them for me.

>no money
>babies tend to cost a lot of money
>pissing away what money you do have on sentimentality
I can't believe my solution of taking babies like this and raising them in a monastery setting as elite soldiers was met with universal disgust.
OH WHAT, THE OTHER OPTION IS THIS?
We're always going to need soldiers. War is never going out of style.
My system ensures a new class of warrior for these blurring battle lines. The era of the uniform and the tank is passing us by and yet we cling to a bygone era.

Also... shit, I forgot what I was going to say.

No, I remember. Baby Shower.

Present your male children to the chapter at birth. Some are selected and removed, the rest remain.

I'm typing with one hand cuz the other hand is on my belly cuz the baby is moving! feels like it's thumping around inside, awww.

Sounds like fighting spirit to me.

Ughhh. My Sprint bill is like $300, I'm not trying to pay that. I want to switch to the local phone service (Cricket), it's only $45 a month! But... the phones are so ugly. I don't want to buy a new crappy phone that I don't like. I like my Android with sprint.

I've been reading this new Warhammer book called Sons of Dorn. It's pretty awesome. It's about these three bitter rivals who were all inducted into the Imperial Fists right before they were about to kill each other and how they handle having to be squadmates and enemies at the same time.
I prefer reading about the Imperial Fists and their progeny more than any other legion, I think.
Raven Guard are pretty cool, though.

How would you describe your ideal romantic partner in six words?

I already did it in five words you cunts.

Mature, Understanding, handsome, loving, well-endowed, rich

Well good luck with that, pregnant trash.
I can't even believe this. Try aiming in the stratosphere, Christ all mighty.

So, I'm pregnant.

It's been a while since I posted, lots has happened, obviously. Most important: I found a boyfriend that I love & that loves me. Now I'm 5 weeks pregnant.

Let's rush into something life altering.
I understand they sell these things called contraceptives. A little late now, I understand, but keep it in mind the next time you want to add to the already overburdened welfare system.

I... like drugs. I love them. I'm high on hydrocodone cough syrup right now and I want to take more and more and I want to lay down. I want to get more from the health center but, in addition to getting me high, it's also doing it's job and it's curing me of that god-awful cough. so what am I doing today? I'm gonna head back to the room, take a swig of syrup and sleep until ol dude calls me about smoking some weed. then I'm gonna smoke it, and I'm gonna enjoy it and...

I just want to point out this same person is now four months pregnant.
And it's not like "oh, this was six years ago and now she's grown up" NO THIS WAS FUCKING FIVE MONTHS AGO.

From Dr. Polidori's Lord Ruthven to Stephenie Meyer's Edward Cullen, the annals of vampire lore are filled with attractive, charming bloodsuckers. Which one would you most want to be bitten by?

All of them are sick aberrations begging for the release of death.
Wooo anyway it is bedtime.
Night my good faggots.

Twisties

TORNADOES ARE COMING THROUGH TOWN OH NO.
Hope nothing hits my shitty high school preventing my journey there tomorrow~
Anyway here we have a blog.
It's called "Zameenah's World". Presumably "Zameenah" is some kind of nickname she's picked for herself and not, you know, her real name.
I don't know what prompts me to say this because the kids at my school have crazy fucking names so it could easily be her name and it wouldn't be the craziest name I encounter in a day.

If you decided to start a band, what would you name your first album?

I think I'd just do like what Led Zepplin did and just give them numbers.
Or name it after Warhammer things but come to think of it I think a band already does that. They're called Bolt Thrower. Apparently Games Workshop signs off on it because they even use official Warhammer art as their album cover which most of that shit would make for a great metal album cover anyway.

Dream Dragon. Duh.

OF COURSE. DREAM DRAGON.
The fuck?

What's your favorite thing to do on long car rides?

Drive. Because I'm an adult.
Or play Pokemon. Whichever.

Sleep.
Or read.
Both while listening to music.

>sleeping while listening to music
How do people even do that? You people must like some boring music.
Here's a post entitled "Why is it..." which made me think we were about to launch off into a Jerry Seinfeld bit but no:

that some men are so damn stupid and stubborn and just not worth...me?

I'm FAbulous.

And I know it.

BOOYAH!

YOU TELL IT SISTER!
Now here's a quiz she took that tells her how great her personality is and I took the same quiz and it called me overly introverted and paranoid so THANKS A LOT.

I'm sitting here watching the Last Dragon and I'm laughing my ass off. This shit used to be my favorite movie in middle school.

Movie's awesome.
I GOTS THE SHINE
BRUCE LEROY

I was IN LOVE with Taimak (the lead), or Bruce Leroy as they call him in the movie. The acting is horrible, the lines are horrible.

No shit. It's a parody of Kung Fu movies.

I know some of you are gonna laugh and find this trivial, but I was almost in a three car accident today.

I know some of you are gonna laugh and find this trivial, but I almost fucking died today.

A bad one. It seems a brown truck on the other side of the highway going in the opposite direction from me tried to change lanes, lost control, jumped the median, hit a car, spun out and then hit another vehicle(a red truck). A truck right in front of me.

Holy shit that sounds awesome.
Oh here's another quiz she took called the Dante's Inferno Hell Test.
Let's see.
HERESY HERE I COME I'm sure.
I find this question leading, Dante's Inferno Hell Test:

Have you wished bad things upon your fellow countrymen?

WHO HASN'T?

Do you use God's name in vain (ex. "God damn it," "Oh my God")?

Now you're just being silly.

Have you ever taken pleasure in someone else's misery?

Do you have any pagan religious beliefs?

Define "pleasure" and "pagan" please.

Have you ever intentionally given bad advice?

Does "advice I think might not be entirely sound so I can observe the result" count?
Okay this is definitely leading:

Hammering away on scandals is a good way to damage those with whom you disagree politically. True/false.

It is a good way to damage someone whom you disagree with.
That doesn't make it right but that is a good tactic, yes.
And the results are in:

Level 6 - The City of Dis Heretics Extreme

DAAAANG, SON!
She was lustful and gluttonous which in terms of religious crimes mine is way cooler.

Men suck!

Sigh.

That is all.

Herp derp.
Well I wasn't treacherous so I escaped the greatest crime there is.
Although I did say I'd assassinate someone if it meant I'd become powerful and wealthy which I don't consider a wrathful action. It's just business and I'm sure they'd do the same.

I'm so bored.

And I have $20 in my pocket.


z

Buy bullets and maybe rent a gun.
How much are bullets? I get the impression they're actually more expensive than I expect.
Let's see.
Assuming I own the manliest gun there is, the Colt Python, which chambers a .357--
Oh. 25 bucks for 50. 50 cents a bullet?
How can you afford not to shoot people?

Yesterday, I got up at 6am and got ready to go meet the Team in Training Team.

The team in training team.
So the team that's training to be a team, what?
This sounds like something my school would dream up.

That's the team that's training for the marathon to help raise money for Leukemia research.

But to do that we're going to meet every Tuesday at 12:15 but if you have a class then you still have to attend so get the other teachers there to teach your class unless you have an intern in which case you can let them teach but you're not supposed to leave them alone with the students so you better send another teacher who does have planning to watch them and hey if we can't meet Tuesdays at 12:15 we'll meet Thursdays at 2:00 because everyone is free then so why don't we just meet then instead and FUUUUUUUCK.
Here's an entry entitled "Sparta was part of Greece!" and I'm not sure what she means because at several points in Greek history each Greek state was definitely its own independent state.
I guess she's arguing they were ethnically Greek which, yeah, but--

According to Byzantine sources, some parts of the Laconian region remained pagan until well into the 10th century AD

YEAH FIGHT THE POWER.

at around 1:30am listening to the David Bowie cd that a certain someone made for me when all of a sudden, I hear hysterical blood curtling fighting going on behind my apartment. The young couple behind me is fighting again. But this time, it's bad. She thinks he's hiding something from her and she just wants him to tell her.

So speaking of "fighting the power" in that Rift game there are two sides, the Guardians and the Defiant and I picked the Defiant because I'm hardcore like that but we are complete pussies when it comes to insane PVP versus the Guardians.
I don't even understand how this logically works because you'd think the net population of this game would be of a base intelligence but apparently everyone stupid picks the Defiant.
I mean I know this happened in World of Warcraft where all the kids went to the Alliance but honestly that made sense because the Alliance looked like "the good guys" and so only people wanting to avoid the kids picked the Horde but in Rift all races look effectively the same so there's no real aesthetic reason to pick one over the other.
I guess plot wise the Defiant feel more edgy with "LOL THERE IS NO GOD" but honestly it's not like they're raging atheists-- they admit there are gods (because in the Rift world there provably are gods) they just said the gods are assholes and we're forging our own destiny.
Also it doesn't help that the Guardians kind of cause THE END OF THE WORLD and somehow still manage to tout themselves as the righteous good guys.
You know, exactly how I imagine religious people in real life would act.
They argue the Defiants were brokering in technology they didn't understand (some sort of magic bullshit fueled by dragons who are evil) but when they destroyed it they unleashed a guy named Regulos who's apparently so badass his only other name appears to be "The Destroyer" so good fucking work, Guardian assholes.
So I'm kind of torn between these two sides. One I agree with philosophically and aesthetically but the other actually seems to attract a higher caliber of player so I'm not really sure what to do at this point.

watching VH1 and their show on race and it's funny as hell. You should try to catch it if you can.

Did you know the two groups that are the LEAST married are black women and Asian men? LMAO.

Oh no shit?
Wait, we can set up some sort of extrapolation matrix with this shit because statistically the interracial couple most likely to occur is black men and white women.
No, this is already doing my head in.
I'm just going to call you an idiot and move on.

Did any of you ever notice that Asian men never seem to get the poontang in Hollywood movies? LMAO.

I dunno I just Googled Jet Li's wife and she's admittedly not "Hollywood poontang" but she's pretty cute.
Jackie Chan didn't do too bad for himself either.
Nice work, gentlemen.
Now there's a quiz she took that reports she's most like Greta Garbo which--
I don't even know how to address this.
Anyway I think I have something to do now maybe I don't know--

Let's not miss a post Monday

WHEW JUST UNDER THE WIRE AND I GOTTA MAKE THIS QUICK BECAUSE I HAVE TO GET TO BED AND I CAN'T STOP TYPING LIKE THIS.

Do you have a childhood friend that you still think about and miss? What happened to him or her?

NOOOOOO I HAVE NO FRIENDS.

David Carlson. He was my friend for four days. i met him the summer before my freshman year, he was on a church retreat and i was camping with my family. he drew me some pictures and left me his address and about a year later i found the letter i wrote him, unopened, among some papers in my dad's office. my parents had intercepted the letter because i was thirteen and he was nineteen and they were afraid he was a "creep" or something and didn't want me to get raped.

Pfffft. Parents and their misplaced concern that some 19 year old guy might be inappropriate with a pubescent girl.
Like that's ever happened before, am I right?

How important is physical attraction in selecting a romantic partner?

Fairly and if you say anything different you're a LIAR.

i'm going to answer this because it's actually a question that's been knocking around in my head for some time now, because i have a potential partner in the friend zone who i know wants to take it to the next level, but also doesn't know exactly how i feel because i am intentionally keeping him in the dark.

Wait, why? Bait a guy a long, jeez.

i'm pretty sure he knows this and is confused by it, but added to the list of his many virtues and attributes is that he is too much the gentleman to bring it up, and too fond of my conversation and company to potential endanger it with such a subject.

Well I guess he is a pussy in this case but really, stop being a manipulative cunt.
Also, bro: The Plan. I've laid it all out, all you have to do is follow it.

the fact that ninety percent of our communication is through text or IM is what creates that grey area. i don't know if i could actually be happy with him, because there are physical aspects about him that i don't like (we have actually talked about it before, so it's not like i'm being shallow).

I don't think that's how not being shallow works but whatever.

but when i don't spend time with him, and instead am communicating with him solely through messages, i could honestly say that being in a relationship with him would answer exactly to all of my ideals and expectations.

Oh okay. As long as you have a good justification.

so the answer to the question is, physical attraction is incredibly important in selecting a romantic partner. because, right now at least, i feel as though he is just the only incredibly important, completely irreplaceable, good friend i have- but i can't be "in love" with him because the chemistry isn't there.

That's really interesting. I'm glad I wasted time I could have spent sleeping reading this.
Here's her "to do" list because she's "disheartened" and if this is the work disheartening her then what the fuck, man?

~write this post
~take a shower
~make my powerpoint for class
~clean my room
~clean floors?
~finish my pink dress, at least, and then see what i can do to make the green dress less frumpy
~go shopping with Helen and Natane for lingerie!!

Two of these things are recreational and a PowerPoint for class, really?
TAKE TEN MINUTES AND FINISH THE FUCKING THING.
And move on with your life.

I've discovered that i'm not naive, i'm simply idealistic. the things i believe in (or don't believe in) are not from lack of personal experience, but more from the sincere and true faith in human nature.

Uh-huh.
I don't even know how to address this. Faith in human nature? Faith? In human nature?
Shit ain't logical, man.

If your astrological sign has changed, do you think your personality more resembles your current or past sign?

Yeah I heard all about this (and by "all about this" I mean I saw a story about it on Yahoo about two months ago and thought "huh, that seems really interesting and boring.")
But all I could think with the addition of a thirteenth Zodiac that A. Final Fantasy Tactics is completely fucked now because that entire game revolves around the Zodiac and B. that whole thing with the Space Wolves from Warhammer wherein "circling the thirteenth stone" is bad luck because the Thirteenth Great Company turned traitor or was lost in the Warp (depending on when you ask) and-- wait, what was I even talking about?
Fuck me I need to go to sleep now.
THIS WHOLE WORKING THING SUCKS, MAN.

Let's update once a week

AND ONLY ONCE A WEEK FROM NOW ON. :C
No I've been busy lately with things that somehow aren't the vidya lately and coincidentally on both Monday and Wednesday of this week have been especially trying.
Anyway enough of that: as the Orks in Warhammer say, 'ere we go.
Come to think of it, Orks don't really say that so much as one book about Orks in 1988 was named that.

So for extra credit, my teacher wanted us to memorize the first 25 digits of pi.

Ha, teachers and their useless extra credit memorization assignments.
I'm about to assign my merry bunch a chance at extra credit if they memorize all the prepositions.
The difference is none of them will do it because there's, like, a million of them, man! WHAT MIND COULD POSSIBLY RETAIN THIS MUCH INFORMATION?
I'd be willing to recoup two entire test grades if they do it. That's how confident I am that it'll never happen.

Since I have an insanely good memory I thought I should give if a try. I spend a few minutes all week attempting to commit the digits to memory.

It's 25 fucking numbers. What, are you a goldfish? I could memorize the first 25 digits in an hour.

I was sure I had it down until I went to recite it to my teacher. It was all good until I got to about the 17th digit and my mind went blank. I couldn't remember those last 8 digits no matter what I did. So I didn't get any extra. I really needed it too... :[ And the moment I sat down at my desk I was able to remember everything.

>Insanely good
>can't retain 25 numbers
Maybe I'm the crazy one. Maybe I just assumed people can visualize shit they read and can remember basic information when it's arranged in an easy to remember way, but I guess not.
Since pi is not a rational number and therefore there's no pattern to memorize I'd probably look into mnemonics but that's just me.

Clearly I have a pressure problem. That makes me kinda scared to do my solo at Cabaret. >_<>
MAYBE, I DUNNO. DEFINITELY NOT SOMETHING TO INVESTIGATE.

What was the worst significant purchase you ever made, and why?

Hmmmmm.
Xbox 360 or my last computer, probably. That's what I get for buying prebuilt, I suppose.
BUT NOW I HAVE BUILT A TITAN.

Hmm... Well, I spent $1000 dollars on a keyboard I barely ever play. :P

I can't believe I didn't take that computer back the second I got it out of the box. It failed to boot the first time I turned it on. I had to reformat. Shouldn't that have been an indication of future trouble?
Oh, also it overheated playing FFXI. I know SE can't program worth a goddamn and the game was ridiculously processor intensive for something that old but come the fuck on.
Well I guess it works out regardless because I ended up needing to upgrade to play FFXIV but that game has FALLEN INTO THE FUCKING OCEAN NOW GREAT.

There's been alot of negative energy and occurences in my town lately.

Negative energy--
so speaking of because FFXIV is down for at least one week I decided to give this RIFT game a try.
It's pretty fucking good. I was worried it'd be too much like WoW and I just threw 40 bucks away and admittedly the game play is pretty much a carbon copy of WoW's but the shit around it is way fucking cooler. The sides are more interesting-- the graphics don't look like puke-- the game doesn't treat you like a mentally handicapped child-- yeah, it's all pretty good.

Last week there was a shooting. My best friend and I drove past it and we could feel the hate and terror in the air.

What the fuck are you, a demon of Chaos? You can't really see, so you just read the channels of psychic energy and look for the leak of mortal corruption?

There was something wrong going on that day.

I don't even know what Warhammer quote to use in this situation.

I can tell that this negative energy is only going to get worse. I just hope that it doesn't have any affect on me or anyone I love.

Sounds like cultist activity to me. Stay where you are: a purgation squad has been dispatched.

Compared to yesterday, today has been easy as pie. I was able to finish my essay and turn it in so hopefully I got an A this time.

The only easy day was yesterday.

But you never know. My teacher is kinda crazy. Anyways, speaking of teachers. I'd like to talk about my math teacher. He's a really nice guy, but I hate how he calls on me randomly and expects me to know the answer when he asks it.

Hey idiot: we already know the 5 students who participate know it. Gotta make sure the rest of you miserable lot knows it.

Now everyone thinks I'm stupid because I don't get problems right when I'm under pressure, Its rather unnerving. And it doesn't help that this new kid showed up in the class and I feel a strange connection to him.

Ruh-roh.

I can't really describe it. He's not very attractive and he's such a nerd, yet I really want to get to know him. I'm still trying to figure out why.

Run, friend!
There is no cowardice in a strategic withdrawal!

I had a straight guy and a gay guy fighting over me today! it was so funny. They both wanted me to walk with them.

The part she's not telling you: they each wanted the other guy to take her.

I ended up walking with Keith because I never see him. He told me that his girlfriend got jealous of me because I hugged him today.

But if she's walking with a friend who happens to be a guy and he hugs her then you're clearly overreacting and too possessive.
BROS, LISTEN: DO NOT LOOK TO YOUR OWN HOME AREA FOR WOMEN.
Think of it like this: when looking for a chick do you look right in your own household? Of course not, that'd be creepy.
NO DIFFERENT.

That kinda made me feel powerful and full of awe at the same time. I've never had another girl jealous of me before. I'm not skinny, pretty, or very smart so its really cool to know that someone actually thinks I'm competition.

PETTINESS KNOWS NO BOUNDARIES.

Not that I would ever date a freshman, but still. That thought boosted my self esteem alot. Enough about school.

Yeah enough of that bullshit.

Its mostly because of school and homework. When I'm not working, I'm hanging out with my friends.

When I'm not working I'm preparing for the next day (or playing RIFT but officially just preparing for the next day)
VICTORY IS BUT A PRELUDE TO THE NEXT BATTLE.

Meet my Mom and Dad. They seem like the good, middle class, hardworking Americans. They provide and care for their children.

But they're really crab aliens OH NO.

They have family that supports them and people who love them. This is a misconception. No one really knows what they are like.

Because they're aliens, honest!

Meet me. I'm your average 17 year old girl trying to enjoy her senior year in high school. I play piano, sing well, write novels and get average grades; A's, B's and C's. I don't do drugs, smoke, have sex or do anything that stupid teenagers of this century do.

Sex was invented 11 years ago.
Teenagers in the 90s? No sex.

Yet, my parents act like I'm the most useless human being on the face of the Earth.

Well you are. You're 17.

And this is where people don't believe me. They think that my parents are doing a good job raising me. If only they knew how my parents really are.

Seems like they're doing fine. I mean you are a cunt but what's to be expected?
It's as I've said: common birth, common man.

My Dad just spent the last five minutes yelling at me for eating ice cream. This is because he thinks I'm "fat" because I don't exercise everyday. I'm 5'7" and I weigh 140 pounds.

5'7" and 140-- I mean I'm taller than you and I weigh less but I am skeletal.
You could probably stand to lose a couple pounds, honestly.

My Dad acts like I have all the time in the world to exercise and I should've done it 5 hours ago. I've been working on school projects all night. I did the same last night. My Mom checked my grades online and I had 3 C's and 2 D's. I told her that I brought them up since then but she won't believe me.

If there is one thing I've learned about interacting with teenagers it's that they are all cocksucking liars and are horrible liars to boot.

I've gotten a 100 on every assignment and done every homework paper assigned this week.

Well this should be real easy to sort out. Show me the proof.

And yet I'm still being punished this weekend. They expect me to spend all weekend studying for finals next week. As if I'm going to do that crap.

I thought you were an A/B/C student. Let me tell you: A students study for their fucking finals.
Except I never did but then again I knew by 17 that "anyways" isn't a word.

And when I'm in another room they talk bad about me all the time because I'm not like my sisters and get straight A's and play a sport. I'm sorry that I'm not perfect, but I'm not going to change my lifestyle just to impress them.

I wonder if she even realizes how cliche her life is. Does this really happen? Do you ever deviate from the script a little? Even your deviations are accommodated by the script.

I'm going to be a musician all through and after college. I don't have book smarts. I'm good at music theory and putting beauty into writing music and language.

You will have Gen. Ed. courses-- God help you, you will have Gen. Ed.

They don't even care about my creativity. All they see are those dumb grade letters on the computer. I wish they would accept me for who I am.

I JUST WANNA BE ME.
Wow we have hit the mother load of teenage cliche.

I don't have a reason to write this. I literally have nothing to write about. I'm just really sad right now. I don't understand why. It probably has something to do with whats going to happen in the future.

... Because being from the future I already know what's going to happen.
What?

When I'm suddenly taken aback by an emotion or series of emotions, usually it means something bad is going to happen soon. I'm super weird, I know. But I just felt like typing. Its not like I can do anything else. I'm going to fail at my voice and piano lesson tomorrow because I haven't practiced at all this week.

... So practice?

All I want to do is hang out with my best friend but my parents aren't gonna let me til New Year's Eve. I know its only 2 days but Alex and I have been hanging out every day for the last week and it pains me to have no contact with her for 2 days. And no, I'm not a lesbian.

You never sound gayer than when you're saying "I'm not gay."

I just love my best friend and she needs me right now. She is having so much trouble with boys. It really makes me never want to date again.

I see where this is going. Lesbian hookup, uh-huh.

So my Dad decided that I spend too much time on facebook and since my GPA is only a 2.9, he put a password on my user account and delete facebook from my browser. The only way I can get on is if I sneak on using his computer or use facebook mobile. So now I practically have no way to contact a majority of my friends. And as if my life couldn't get any worse,

>couldn't get worse
>no longer have Facetube
I know you're a dumb cunt 17 year old girl but come on, let's not overreact.

I lost my government book so I haven't done 8 assignments in that class. The only way my dad is going to give my computer back is if my grades go up. Its so stupid because I have to wait til 6 at night or later when he lets me on the computer to do homework and sometimes I can't finish in that short of time.

Just go to a shit school and then you'll never get homework. What's the point in assigning it when it won't get done?

I want to get out of this house so bad but I don't have a job, I'm not pretty enough to get a boyfriend, and I don't have any rich relatives to pay for an apartment I could get.

Too annoying to have a boyfriend, more like.
Also yeah, not pretty enough.
Or smart enough.
You are the complete package.
Weeeell RIFT just went down for a patch so I guess it's time to finish this, but this has gone on long enough-- time to go do something else, then.
Farewell, pussies.

your'are're

We're going to try something slightly different today and I'm probably going to rapidly regret this sojourn. Behold.
Also today's writer's block let's just get it out of the way:

Was there ever a fictional character who you admired so much that you strived to be like him or her?

Srived-- strove-- striven-- whatever. GRAMMAR, WHO CARES? (brotip: 'strived' isn't a word)
Also if your answer isn't
you're clearly a woman or gay.

haha, not so much admired, but when I was a kid I remember wanting to be a forrest dryad or something from a book I read, some female character that could turn into trees.

Yeah see what I mean?
Anyway now we start to get into the oddity so HANG ONTO YOUR ASSES.

I can't trust myself,
today, I sleep so little, yesterday, tomorrow, when
was the last time, for no reason whatsoever, no sorrow.

Fear not the beasts of the jungle but those that lurk in your mind.
Oh yeah, that's right: we have a poetry blog today.
FEELIN' GOOD AND COMFORTABLE?

I lay under the sword, to strike who knows where, my heart feels vulnerable.
for no reason whatsoever.

What's that other Warhammer quote I was just thinking of?
Weigh the hand that smites the foe and salutes the battle won or something?
Shit goes all the way back to Rogue Trader times, I think.

I see in the sword my life's end, that I see myself today with no path to bend,
I I I
I am not entirely alone
but i prefer it!

Oh rush of weird memories suddenly. Anyone play Suikoden III?
Man that game was fucking crazy.
I actually really liked it but apparently it's somewhat of a black sheep. I think it's easily second best game in the series after II.
I mean the graphics were kind of a muddy mess and it looked very sub-PS2 considering it was released in the middle of the PS2's life but graphics don't really make the game.

I I I
am
decay
tomorrow

the rollercoaster ride that is the song my life now on record
the one I jumped at board, seeing the sights to come
I would simply ask to do it all again, if i could,
or would I?

TAKE HEART IN ENTROPY, CAPTAIN.
HEED THE ROILING CHAOS THAT BRINGS RUIN TO RUIN UNTIL ALL IS AS DUST!

Pop quiz:
Love
or duty?

So in Dawn of War: Dark Crusade Davian Thule says this quote: "faith and duty" but because the voice actor was clearly a homosexual gentleman and it sounded like he had a fistful of marbles (or perhaps cock) in his mouth while delivering his lines it kind of comes out "FEHTH EHND DEWTEE"

A kind girl and her friend aproached me one day,
same bus stop, small talk.
she initiates I respond in kind.
why do I think about her?
generic female human
why do you draw my focus?

Why are you talking like SHODAN from System Shock?
Look at you, hacker: a pathetic creature of meat and bone, panting and sweating as you run through my corridors. How can you challenge a perfect, immortal machine?
that I boil over it
in my mind, that I whatever,
non-action.
That's what I should do instead of reading this shit: play System Shock.

-like always read at your own risk-
(usual unitneresting self sporting overly revealing drivil - j;skldf

>drivil
Okay here we go, DOSBox open.

Look at my life as a fight.
as I have always.

since the moment I first discovered sensual pleasure as a child
to my later years in life, though I feel fight fading

Whoops ended up playing System Shock for about an hour then I ate dinner then I went to buy batteries and hey it's 3 hours later.

when young i'd try everything I had to stop the invasion of change introduced into my mind through whatever manner of effect not influenced by my rock hard will. Stubborn.

I feel as though I have always been at a personal war with this comedy of life, my constant strivings to reafirm, for myself and to impose on others the life I see most fitting.

This really reminds me of a book I might have had to read in college and I just looked at the Wikipedia page for 5 minutes and got a 115% on the test.
God I love postmodern writing so much. It's all collective pretentious and bad.

I know nothing now, my fight fading, forever at war in my heart at whatever strange indignities being born had wrought.

Yeah see this is exactly what I mean. "Strange indignities being born had wrought" what?
How is "being born" an indignity? Is the implication that life is an indignity?

that I know my life my words are as nothing to the immediacy of need of all. I would wish none to live my life, and as such desire no form of human to follow. I do wish though that someday someone may have the sight that I had as a child and whatever it was that I lacked.

I guess my problem with all modern writing is it tries to sound deep and just doesn't make a ton of sense. The deep thoughts in actual good writing are kind of a byproduct of good writing and not the end to itself.
My grandfather is in many ways what I am not, and in some that I am.

Laying in a bed, nearly unable to move his own body due to a growing rigidity of muscle spasms. Yet he worries about his responsibilities whether the expenses are taken care of.

This isn't even well written. At least the syntax and grammar can be decent but no.

He has always been a strong inteligent man, though I didn't know him well, I knew him well through my familys telling, and my infrequent visits. He read the paper every day, and wrote to the editor just as frequently. He was and is a man of strong morals. Though not religious, beliving more in nature.

Beliving.

While listening to the shallow conversations of others in public places, leeching my internet for whatever pointless or pointed purpose.

I wonder how people not far from age of mine, perhaps my elder, perhaps not, perhaps time wears more quickly on their faces, sadly I hope.

And other words I'm not reading.

As their conversation is undeluted by the foul waters of intelligence. Interaction cleanly swept with niceties ans flirtations, talk of family and children.

Oh what a burden to be as smart as you, someone who can't even spell "undiluted".

I should not look down on these, this simple warm converse.

Converse is a verb, idiot.
Also "these" implies something in front of you not something figurative like a conversation and in the past.

It is good, though I want nothing of it myself, at least as little as possible without rendering my mind anathema to the masses.

:\
I could point out this thought makes no sense but I think it'll be expedient to just call you an idiot and move on.
Actually no, let's figure this out. She (?) wants "nothing of it [herself]", presumably the "conversation undeluted (sic) by the foul waters of intelligence" but the "conversation undeluted (sic) by the foul waters of intelligence" is indeed the product of the masses so how could having this type of conversation render yourself anathema (anathema meaning enemy or nemesis) of the masses if it indeed is what the masses themselves do?
Is this some sort of accusation that the masses are vindictive and hypocritical?
Of course not I'm just reading way too far into it.

a mind without purpose.

WANDERS INTO DARK PLACES FUCK YEAH WARHAMMER.

So I hate being close to other human beings, it's been a developing problem that's climaxing in my fear and inability to help with a dying grandfather.

So today I was listening to religious radio (fuck you I live in the South) and at one point the preacher is talking about how we shouldn't stray from the worship of Jesus because the whims of the pagan gods are capricious and how only God truly loves us and it was a really interesting disconnect to me to imply the "pagan gods" (by which he meant Zeus and referred to him directly) have wills and exist when the Bible clearly states there is only one God and the others are fiction or demons or some shit.
Personally I like to imagine a cosmos where they all exist so I can call Christians the hateful followers of the corpse god but that's just me.
The whims of the Old Gods might be capricious but when they visit their blessings on a mortal the ground trembles with every step.

It makes me feel like a total shit-bag but yet I still can't, i'm afraid, for some reason somewhere, somehow there is this block, and I am unable to get around it. I can't stand strangers looking at me, I can't handle feeling close to anyone on almost any level especially so with males.

Women.
Did you know a radical new treatment for people with severe agoraphobia is to get two agoraphobics in the same house?
After a year they kind of cure each other.

I finally have a girlfriend companion, I am somewhat ashamed to admit it, from my old ethical or moral standpoint, the desire or craving of another person to simply fulfil this niche of my life and for that alone, is like my own personal decadence.

Must be a lesbian.
No way this is a guy.

I am a male --> I get angry on regular bouts.

Winter semester is coming to a close, it is hard keeping all of my obligations organized, and my temper in line as well.

Welp. I don't even know what the fuck anymore.

I feel that what we desire corrupts us, or not even that, it changes and shapes us, and the more we desire and pursue one thing, the more we lose the important parts of ourselves, or our minds. I desire a womans caress, though not only that, I desire open arms and lips, a welcoming gesture that is representative of Woman.

The ladies only like it when you know how possessives work.

Yet, my spiritual pocketbook is empty in debt to other gods, and no matter what price---expensive or strange, I can't afford to pay on any sexual favor.

Hateful follower of the-- uhhh.
YOUR SLAVERY TO THE CROSS ENDS TODAY.

Plain and simple---read subject line---I suck, I can't play the game, I kind of do but then fail, and aghh.. I hate it.

yes, this is a self absorbed complainy-post. I am maturing well!

As opposed to all the other posts which have just been fucking awesome.
Hooo I just don't know anymore. This blog is blending together in its mediocrity into one continuous entry that has gone on for about five hours so I think I'm going to stop.

Oh-- oh.

So there are blogs and then there are motherfucking blogs, goddamn.
Lately I've been settling a lot but it really has been a "best of a boring lot" situation.
But here we have this blog and I haven't even really read it yet but I know it's already a winner.
Check this fucking crap out.
We have all the signs: Agree you're 18 (!) or older before reading, agree you're 18 (!) or older before reading and the font is the tiniest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. I've seen larger bacteria.
No kidding I'm zoomed in 1000% and it's approaching size 16 font by any normal scale.
I think we have a black weeaboo and I'm not sure what to call a black weeaboo because "weeaboo" by definition means "white". Bleeaboo?
No idea.
I'm skipping the first entry because it's some dumb story. Already off to a great start.
Also here's today's writer's block so we can all stay current:

Which song makes you happy every time you hear it, and why?

It is hard to pick.

The song that makes me happy every time I hear it would have to be between two songs, Koda Kumi's Black Cherry [*] and Far East Movements I PARTY because the beat in the songs makes them so uplifting which makes me want to dance.

No idea what these songs even are but they sound amazing.
I am familiar with Koda Kumi, however, because she's a delicious yellow girl and also she was on a comedy show I watched briefly and basically the hosts trolled the fuck out of her but she was too dumb to realize it.
It was gooooood times.
Now here's a post called "My Tweets" and it's like she's doing everything in her power to keep me from reading her bullshit.
Let me tell you there's no quicker way to get me to lose interest than to mention twating or posting your IM chat logs.

A couple of months ago I had decided the best thing to do for my hair was to start all over again.

So as I mentioned a couple of times I teach at a high school and because teaching is already a woman dominated profession and my high school is really shitty most of the teachers are black women.
I had no idea 1. women could talk about hair so much and 2. that black women spend upwards of 9 hours every weekend getting that mess straightened out.
I mean what the fuck who has that kind of time?

When I was little I use to have extremely long hair that went down to basically my butt, but I couldn't handle my mom constantly pulling on my hair and causing little bumps to form at the scalp. So at 5 years old, I cut it all off up to the base of my neck.

It's around this time in the story I'm looking for some bureaucratic chore to do.
Listen I'm sure this story picks up but I got this form that's a series of letters and numbers to fill out.

Of course my mom was furious, but as time passed I went through a lot of stuff with my hair. My hair has grown to my shoulders and because of stress caused bald spots and I am experiencing all this stuff before the age of 18.

Tell me about the relaxer, please.

Now, almost at 18, I have had my hair cut because I have had a chemical relaxer.

Oh what do you know?
I don't know what any of this shit is because I have the HAIR OF SAMSON and I basically don't even need to comb it so whatever.

Now I want my hair to grow back naturally without a chemical relaxer and I decided to get what most people would consider the BC, or the Big Chop which means cutting your hair to a certain length in order to grow out your natural hair to whatever length you want it at.

Waiting for my bro to show up so we can talk about AC/DC or something but then I remember I'm sitting at home and I'm ostensibly doing this for my own amusement.

I got it cut almost a year ago and I've seen little to no growth, and to make matters worse I've been putting more chemicals on it, I've bleached my hair and put some ridiculous red hair dye on it and look like a Black Ronald McDonald walking around. Soon, im dying my hair to its

So true story I just learned recently: "dying" as in "putting dye into something" is actually spelled "dyeing" in what has to be a violation of every grammar and spelling rule I've ever learned. That's like the fifth word I've realized I've been spelling wrong for years in a just a few months, and it's all thanks to Final Fantasy.

natural hair color and I still refuse to get a chemical relaxer. I am using this post now to just kind of post my trials and tribulations on my journey to healthy natural hair, hopefully I can get someone to try this with me as well.

Are we still talking about this? For real?
Listen to me, bitch: I can't ignore you any harder than I am right now so please relax before I invent a new tier of not giving a fuck.

I've come across Youtube videos that say the best way to start is by training your hair or wrapping your hair and the best way to contribute to your hair growth is by taking vitamins and getting exercise in.

Am I really reading a blog about a Youtube video about haircare? Really?
I have to meditate under a waterfall for several years so I can attain a level of "not giving a fuck" never before witnessed by man.

Today, I deep conditioned my hair with the Cholesterol deep conditioner and I tested out the Saran wrap, wrap and it actually worked pretty well. I also took a vitamin to start the process.

All right I can't take this anymore. Let's move on.
Oh man two entries entitled "My Tweets" in a row and they're hiding behind a "YOU MUST BE 18 OR OLDER TO READ THIS" cut.
Also I just realized I can't type the letters "cu" without instinctively hitting the "n" right after it.
Now there's this ol' gem:

What subject you like to become more knowledgeable about, and why?

Definitely the 666 rituals of slaying the demon.

I would definitely love to be more knowledgeable about language because its how we communicate and its important to communicate with others of different races and since people have their own dialects its really important :)

Why is it really important?
I mean besides the obvious "to talk to brown girls" there's no reason to learn their heathen language.
That is a good reason, though, don't get me wrong but you know. It's not like there's one beyond that.
Oh I guess there is: if you plan on getting mixed up in international espionage.
So yes there are good reasons for learning other languages, huh. The two noblest deeds to which a man can aspire: scoring delicious girls of various colors and SLAYING THE ENEMIES OF MAN.
I'm not sure what that says about my view of international politics when the only two reasons I can come up with to learn a language is to steal their women and murder their dictators. I guess that puts me somewhere square in the 12th century.
Where I feel I often belong, honestly.

So today me and my two friends: Nykol and Tabi ( who is a writer on here) had an amazing day at the mall.

Oh, do share.

At the mall we go to where we live, there are these two guys: One that looks like Tae Yang, and one that looks like Chan Sung <3.>
Huh a black girl with a thing for Asian guys.
That's gotta be about the rarest breed there is.

we were passing by his friend who looks like TimothyDeLaGhetto nudged him in the arm and asked,

Is that really his name?
I mean I see some names in any given day. I can't tell what's really a name and what's a joke anymore.

I felt so stupid for not working up the courage to talk to this guy.

Whoa big yawn just now.
Really tired from lugging desks up and down flights of stairs and having to deal with sassy cunts all day.
Also you already have the courage you just lack something interesting to say which sets off your doubt.
It's like Jesus taught: you have the entire cosmos inside you, you just have to let the power free.
Oh wait, no, that was Athena from Saint Seiya.
I consider Saint Seiya a religious text alongside Fist of the North Star and The Odyssey. Shut up. It's my religion.
If we consider all fiction (except the bad fiction) one continuity (as I do) then it goes a little something like this:
The Epic of Gilgamesh
Some unspecified amount of time later
The Iliad
The Odyssey
The Aeneid
Unspecified amount of time later
Beowulf
Unspecified amount of time later
Sir Gawain and the Green Knight
Le Morte d'Arthur
Unspecified amount of time later
Orlando Furioso
100 years later
Dante's Inferno
450-500 years later
The Count of Monte Cristo
120-140 years later
Saint Seiya
150-160 years later
Fist of the North Star
28,000 years later
The Horus Heresy
10,000 years later
WARHAMMER.
Note: stuff happened in between these stories that I didn't bother fleshing out such as the collected works of Edgar Allan Poe and H.P. Lovecraft.
Oh and I've come to the beginning of this blog. That's really handy.
Well I can't say that was the worst blog I've ever read (mostly because I didn't actually read much of it) but good things don't come up often when it comes to Livejournal so I'll take them when they do.

Trouble

How about that new Pokemon game, huh?
It takes place in the Pokemon equivalent of AMERICA.
AMERICA, BOY!
WE HAVE WAR EAGLES AND SHIT IN AMERICA!
Speaking of: oddly, the Japanese have invented the most American video game of all time called Metal Wolf Chaos which is about the president who goes around in a giant robot freeing the fuck out of America from terrorists. I still can't believe that game never came out here.
I guess it is a little insensitive about history as a giant robot comes exploding out of the Statue of Liberty but I can honestly say if that happened in real life it'd be on the short list for "greatest thing to ever happen".
Oh right, blogs.

It amazed me last night, as I was having an anxiety attack in the BCC parking lot, how many people just walked by me.

>Anxiety attack
>need me to rescue you
Listen, princess, you're just freaking out. You're not actually sick or anything.

I was on the floor gasping for air the way someone choking might sound and about three people just walked past me without looking at me.

Yeah and I spend the better part of a day being yelled at by a group of idiot 9th graders who don't know what a comma is. We all have our problems.

Finally I had to scream for help to some guy who was walking towards me. He calmed me down and found a police officer to call rescue.

I also have that problem with the new Pokemon game that plagues all new Pokemon games for me: I played the Japanese version so I'm not used to all the new names. Usually I learn pretty quick but this time around the names seem really silly to me in English. I mean they phoned this one the fuck in. "Conkeldurr" will never have the same impact "Roobushin" has.
What does Conkeldurr evolve from? "Gurrdurr" (because it's holding a girder) and he evolves from "Timburr" because he's holding a piece of lumber.
Fuck whoever named these things I mean goddamn.

I have never had this happen to me in my life. When I was a teenager I have had what I considered to be panic attacks. But this was like I was drowning and I literally could not take in breaths.

Oh right, you.

Just a note; if you ever see someone who looks like they might be in need of some real help, check to see if they are ok.

Look, I'm really busy. Your personal health and safety is little concern of mine.

I'd like the opportunity to write a paper about how parenting styles that are "gender neutral" are actually perpetuating our culture's gender stereotypes.

This paper is less than three paragraphs so go ahead and bore the fuck out of me. Why not?
I have learned from the masters of pussy sensitivity so it's going to take a lot for me to actually hear anything you're saying.

I am bothered by what I saw on Oprah the other morning. It was a family that had a six year old boy; according to the parents their son decided on his own to be a girl. He began his gender transformation at age two. How? By preferring girl themed toys and colors.

How can a two year old even make an informed decision about something like this?
Oh right, they can't.

This is so baffling to me. How have we come to the point where gender is based on what aisle we prefer to shop in at ToysRus? As a child I would role-play as a boy when we were playing imaginary games. At McDonalds I wanted the racecar instead of the Barbie.

Okay I get it. Get to your point.

I allow Adriana to play with whatever toys, and I don't gender classify them. (Of course, I still choose what toys I allow her to have and will probably continue to do this for some time.

Okay.

This is what I don't understand about 'gender neutral' parenting. It is just a doll, just a train, just legos, just a tea set. I think we should phase out the gender specific toys, like all pink planes, computers, doodle pads, etc. But I don't think we should gender classify everything. I think this is where the perpetuation of the way our culture views gender roles comes from.

Great thanks for this it of nothing.

This year has been the hardest of my life. It has been the most life changing. I am thankful to God for every moment; the good and bad. I am grateful for the times where I felt so alone and lost. It was in those life-breakings moments that I was most changed.

Oh God this is going to be one of those religious moments, isn't it?
This is what's entirely baffling to me about the average religious idiot: their empty minds are so filled with faith and yet they can't even answer the simplest questions about their own religions. I had this kid grilling me about evolution recently (I made the critical mistake of using it as an analogy for a 5th grade word we were learning) and how the Bible says God created the heavens and the earth then today he says the Immaculate Conception was Jesus.
It was Mary you 9th grade moron! I mean fuck me, I don't even believe in this shit and I know that!

I began this year with nothing. Nothing in wealth, in material, in education, in a future, in spirituality.

See this is exactly what I mean. THANK YOU JESUS FOR MONEY AND MATERIAL WEALTH!
But then quoth Jesus in Mark 10:25:

It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.

And as if that wasn't clear enough:

Mark 10:21
Jesus looked at him and loved him. "One thing you lack," he said. "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."

I don't think the Lord understands how market economies work.

It never fails that at the pediatricians office there will be one mother there that is absolutely lost. Every time I've taken her... It is almost sad watching these moms. She sits from her seat and shouts nonsense at her son, who is running around in circles. "Griffin, mommy says be nice" ...

If you named your child Griffin he should be taken from you because you are clearly unfit.
I am already bored shitless by this.
I think I'm going to go do something more productive with my time like nail my genitals to a wall.

I don't care

Not a single fuck.
Look at this dumb cunt.
Flipping me the bird in her avatar. Real classy, trash.
Anyway I do like today's writer's block:

If you could confront the worst teacher you've ever had, what would you tell him or her?

All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
I'm surprised (I don't know what I mean by "surprised" because I'm really not surprised at all) no one quoted that song.

That he was a huge douchebag and it was me who put acid in his coffee freshman year. HA. im glad you got fired.

Wait you put acid in his coffee and he's the douche?

I dunno. i was thinking maybe its time to start over. a new journal perhaps. all my most recent entries have been my life sucks, im broke, im fucked, im moving blah blah blah.

Oh I see a promising entry in my future.

but then again i could make a new one and then i would probably never write in it. coz i rarely come on my lj coz i dont really know anyone who uses it anymore. *sigh* i dunno. i guess im just bored coz scott started his new job today.

>I'm bored
>better be sure to tell the internet about how boring I am
Great thank you for this.

Coz well im actually on a computer for once at the library. Umm everything kind of well sucks. Me and Scott r both outta work. We are broke as fuck and there are no fucking jobs.

GRAMMAR POWERS ACTIVATE!

ok. so we packed up our shit and we moved to tennessee. well that place fucking sucks donkey balls.

we thought thatmaybe if i came back to florida andi worked and he worked there with the kids. we could get enough money and things would be ok.

You know that thing in good writing where they show and don't tell?
Welcome to the opposite.

SO last night i went to the dkm show and got kicked out.

some douche bag was sittin outside talking shit about mass and saying the red sox sucked and i yelled at him. and tried to hit him and security kicked me and scott out.

i feel really bad. i was being a drunk asshole and scott got kicked out of show coz of it. :(

Ha, ha oh wow.

ugh.

im feeling stressed. i dont like to be stressed.

we gotta find somewhere to live fast. i need to get a new job fast.

Holy shit this post is from 2007. How is it your life is just this never ending cycle of needing to find menial work?
Have you ever thought about learning a skill?
God, fuck I am just nodding off, here. I don't think I've ever been this tired in my entire life and this blog is really not helping.

but i'd like one where i can work from home or maybe one that would just allow me to have my hair the way i want and keep my peircings in. arrgh.

>keep your piercings
They want professionals, not whores with tongue rings.
Sorry about that whole reality thing.

myspace is being wick3d lame as usual and not working so i find myself here on my livejournal. if i cant be addicted to one site it has to be another...

Myspace.
What fucking year is this?
Oh, 2007, right.

so i've managed to only drink 2 beers today. sort of by choice, but not really. i prefer to be drunk i think. granted i still tend to get very emo when im drinking.

As opposed to the rest of the time where you're just bubbly and not bitching about your lack of employment.

being drunk is probably my favorite activity. but i get paid tomorrow so i will totally be buying myself some drinks

So you know those "warning signs you're an alcoholic"?
I think if these two thoughts occur back to back you can skip the signs and just assume you are.

nothing much to report from here. still working at bradys. still kicking myself in the ass everyday for having a shitty job. still just making it. still drinking entirely too much. still feeling that im always alone. still wishing my life was something different. still alone. still listening to the same sad songs over and over again.

Well I tell them there's no problem
only solutions
Well they shake their heads and they look at me as if I've lost my mind
I tell them there's no problem I'm only sitting here doing time.

i dunno. things are going ok. other than the fact that im completely broke and i dont have a car. but its cool. im havng fun, but i know im fucking myself over everyday. i barely make enough money to cover my rent.

So I'm always really excited to see the guild leve "Hungry Like the Wolf" because whenever that comes up it's Duran Duran time.

and it sucks. and its not like i can be ooh i'll give it to you next week. coz i never make more that like 150 bucks a week. my rents is 100 a week. and usually whatever is left gets spent on ciggarettes.

So a real winner, eh?
No but have you seen that music video? It depicts pretty much the noblest endeavor a man can undertake. Bro goes on a quest to some third world cesspit to land a brown girl.
The creators of FFXIV know their shit so they said "let's name a lot of our leves after 80s songs. Why the fuck not?"
They just need a leve called "Money for Nothing" and I'm really in business.
Fuck there might already be one. I should check. If it does exist I'm leveling whatever job has it--
Would have made a great goldsmithing leve but no dice.
Holy fuck how far back does this blog go?
March of 2003 are you fucking kidding me? Let's see what was happening in 2003:

This journal is friends only. Sorry if you find that to be an inconveinence... but yea. Add me. and I most likely add you back. Peace Jigga.

Did you just call me a jiggaboo?
Oh man.
This girl averages 2 updates a year.
I can't exactly be angry at her with an average like this. I mean I brought this on myself. This is a blog literally no one reads and no one updates.
so I've noticed my wanton purchasing of aldgoat skin in FFXIV has actually slowly driven the price up so I let it cool for a few weeks and it's back down to dick.
When they add recipes for aldgoat skin I am going to be so rich. Richer. Whatever.
Well this has gone on long enough and is pretty much not on topic at any given point so I'm ending this train wreck.

A WASTE OF MANKIND'S POTENTIAL

So against all better judgment I downloaded that new DoW2 expansion called RETRIBUTION (gotta write it in all caps because that's how it appears on the title screen) and it's actually not that bad.
Way better than Chaos fucking Rising, anyway.
They ditched that hamslapping queer bait Thaddeus and added Martellus the techmarine as a character you control and so automatically it's up a few points.
Also I was amused to see another woman character in the cast (Warhammer doesn't get many of those) and like all women in Dawn of War she's instantly a shrieking harpy telling me to do something I don't want to do.
LIKE ALL WOMEN AM I RIGHT?
But unlike in other video games and in real life I can't just ignore her and do what I want anyway because she has a pistol that shoots fire.
I guess I could wait until her back is turned and cut her in half with a fucking chainsword but I'm guessing that won't solve the problem of proving I'm not a heretic.
Oh right, blogs.
So here's today's writer's block:

What is the craziest dare you have ever taken?

I take no dares for I never agree to do something I might not finish.
HONOR IS ALL.

I was dared to sign up for a dating site. If anyone knew my "style," so to speak, they would know that I have no interest in dating the opposite sex (only friendship lol).

Your style is being gay.
All right.
Admittedly I haven't been on many dating sites but I'm pretty sure most do offer options for people seeking people of the same sex.

However, I got a free meal out of it, so it was not too bad. Never again, though.

I'm debating with myself whether or not this is dishonest.
I mean this woman owed the guy she dated nothing and he should expect to go on a couple of dates that go bust (price of business and all that) but he never had a chance with this woman by definition so I think it's pretty dishonest of her to let him pay for it.
I guess she (or anyone) could readily argue she provided him company but then again that was reciprocated so I'm not sure.

I have graduated, I guess, to my first "real" AM MT fight. We'll see if I can stay healthy this time.

Not sure what AM is but MT is Muay Thai, one of the manliest forms of unarmed combat there is.
Basically someone came up with the idea that it's twice as effective to elbow someone after you punch them in the face and built an entire martial art around turning your punches into elbow punch combos.
Of course I suspect a lot of the success of Muay Thai might have to do with the training regimen that includes PUNCHING BANANA TREES UNTIL YOUR KNUCKLES ARE LIKE IRON.
And now we go back to last year:

What are your New Year's resolutions? Do you think you'll stick to any of them? If so, for how long?

Fuck resolutions.

Have about 2 Amateur MT (no shin guards or helmet) fights; 2 or so MMA fights

>helmet
>Muay Thai
That just feels wrong.

What was the last juicy generalization from which you freed yourself? What caused your perspective to change?

I don't remember or understand this question. Are people making generalizations about me? I assume not because my perspective is the one changing so I have to guess I'm making generalizations about others but then what's up with "juicy" generalizations like I'm gossiping about the generalizations I make?
In which case I don't free myself from generalizations. Generalizations are vital to understanding how people think, because few men think for themselves and so therefore you must understand how they tap into the collective hivemind and feed off each other.

I used to think that all relationships among people had this narcissistic/co-narcissistic balance. Haven't you ever met the overzealous, self absorbed, highly insecure boss with the do-good-er subordinate who lets him or her get away with it? How about an addict that seeks to take advantage of enablers?

No idea what you're talking about.

I used to think that this black and white dichotomy was a law of nature like gravity. Having that notion always led me to sleep with one eye open, so to speak.

Am I just fucking stupid today or is nothing making sense anymore?

Do you believe that violence in media promotes violence in real life? Does media reflect cultural values or can it actively reshape them?

Oh God no.

I fail to believe that media evenhandedly promotes violence in our society without other influences.

What the fuck does that even mean? The media evenhandedly promotes violence, what?
"Evenhandedly" implies "fairly" or "balanced", wouldn't it? So it portrays violence in an unfair or harsh light so-- God, no.

Humans are violent by nature.

The Eldar are manipulative and deceitful by nature.
Make my favorite Dawn of War character a mute emofag, will you?
I just can't believe Tarkus, the voice of reason amidst the flamboyantly gay guy, the idiot whose only solution to a problem was to shoot it with a giant, man-portable cannon and the guy who sounds like he smoked about 50 packs before recording would take a vow of silence over something he HAD NO CONTROL OVER.
Without Davian Thule now this motley crew is fucked.

Do you think a marriage license should have a renewal or expiration date, just like a driver's license?

Oh I remember this question.
I think I said no it shouldn't because of something like not breaking a vow or something--

I try to explain to most people that marriage should be under a month-to-month renewable contract with the option to sub-lease or transfer. A learner's permit would be nice for some *cough* . Really, how is that different than the paper people sign now, or how people treat marriage? Technically, marriage is not really a permanent, cherished institution if divorce is always an option, and quartering is not a required punishment for adultery...

That's a great point. We're making divorce illegal and reinstating quartering as a punishment.
Don't want to have your limbs ripped off by horses? Do what you're supposed to do.

Needless to say, I don't date much. Hell, I only date because I can't always afford to eat out on my own dime.

Telling you people. Go to SE Asia.

A girl gets hungry, you know (totally, NOT joking)....

Joking about what? Women eating? Yeah I've seen them a few times.
The fact you trick people into paying for your food? Again, not surprising.
And come to think of it, if the main plot point of Chaos Rising was that one of your team bargained with a demon to allow the strike cruiser through the Warp then why do you activate a teleporter that lets you move between planets at will without a ship?
Shouldn't Martellus have maybe mentioned that exists?
Oh that's right we need a convenient plot solution for how Captain Diomedes the idiot can move from place to place without the massive resources of the rest of his chapter.
I guess my main problem with Chaos Rising is the game was so shitty it's actually affecting RETRIBUTION with its stink, somehow.
The writers even took the logical solution of flashing forward to avoid the immediate fallout of the events of Chaos Rising and they still can't escape it.
I mean they even fucked up the story of their own game because if all your squads stay pure then Martellus is the traitor so I'd assume that's the canonical end for that game but then Retribution starts up and Martellus is your bro again so who's the traitor?
Currently I'm assuming they're going to pull that old card of THE FORCE COMMANDER FROM THE LAST TWO GAMES WAS EVIL ALL ALONG in which case I'm never playing Dawn of War again.
Oh right, blogs.
Oh I'm at the start of this blog, how handy.
Anyway I'm off to bed because I have my own battle to fight tomorrow in real life.