Thursday, January 30, 2014

pregnant women and people with heart conditions please leave the theater

Warning, content not suitable for minors!
Tag: church!
THIS BETTER END UP LIKE A NUN PORNO.
Crazy nutsy day at work today, and I wasn't even the one on call. That's okay, though. We'll see what happens tomorrow, since that's the day we're actually on call. I think. lol
So tired. Night all.
WHOA THANK THE FUCK CHRIST YOU WARNED ME.
I'm still kind of excited about the history discussion last night. It dovetailed some with the barbarian episodes I saw on the History Channel. Romans were mean, man. Unfortunately, no one at work was as excited. Surprising, isn't it? lol
Romans were mean.
That's all you can say about the people that carved an empire from the barbarian tribes of Europe and the wilderness?
Mean.
So I'm writing this on my phone. Wheeeee lol

Had lots of church stuff today. Choir, then the annual meeting.
This evening there was a class. Since the choir is always practicing when everyone else goes to Sunday school, Father Robert was kind enough to hold an extra Inquirer's class for us-and whoever else wanted to come. And it was history today-yay! 
>Religion
>teaching history
no that's cool
I'm sure that's accurate.
Not like the church has been known for painting people one way

or maybe white washing another
I love that our church lets anyone into these classes-not just people new to the church. There's always something new to learn. In fact, I think maybe one person in there wasn't already a member, and I'm not even sure about that. :)
Yeah they want nonbelievers in.
To brainwash you.
Don't believe their lies.
This is one of those days that you always abbreviate because you're afraid you'll spell it wrong. Kind of like February.
The day was Wednesday.
And no, I don't, because I graduated the second grade.
Why is this all hiding beneath a warning?
I know I joke a lot about this and it's no cause of anger (and laughs haha you're welcome) but this is seriously the tamest shit I've ever read. I can't even be mad at this. Like are posts about your cat or going to choir that potentially racy?
Here's her bitching about her horses--
I'd call her a spoiled rich cunt but honestly I'm so fucking bored I can't be bothered to figure this out.
Oh shit for a second I thought I hit the end of the blog because there was no "go back" button and I got excited because I can fuck off early but as it turns out it's just on the top for some reason.
Good.

I almost posted early, then didn't, and now I almost went to bed without posting. At least I remembered.
That's every entry I miss.
Except it stops after "I almost posted early but then didn't."
I could read bullshit on the internet or I could get screamed at by homophobic adolescent boys for not laning properly in League of Legends--
sorry, blogging.
As unappetizing as the latter sounds it's still better.
I should post more. Not that you all are clamoring at the bit, or anything. lol 
You should post less. I'm barely into this entry and I am out of shit to say.
I might have to take this post off the rails.
The last time I listened to this I was in Junior High. Our english teacher had us listening to it on a record player. lol Funny thing was that it was interrupted by the Challenger disaster. 
I wasn't even born when the Challenger exploded and somehow my writing comes across as more mature.
And I've said "cunt" like a thousand times in this blog.
How does that even
Okay, the chick next to me in the airport has been typing at maximum speed for at least 20 minutes. WTF is she saying that fast? And for that long? Freaky. Thank God she's stopped for now.
I used to practice my typing skills by using my Dreamcast keyboard while listening to the TV and typing everything said as it's said.
That's why I'm so freakishly fast at typing now.
No, really. I was offered a job as a 911 call operator based on the speed and accuracy of my typing.
You know those court stenography machines?
I could do that just with a keyboard. No shorthand necessary.
It's the one talent I have I am completely proud of because can say without ego there aren't many people faster.
Here's the obligatory post about Pacific Rim.
So I am vacationing at home.
Today I watched PACIFIC RIM!!! In IMAX 3D. It was so good, I can't even explain it. I was afraid from the trailers it would be too visually dark, but it totally wasn't. Honestly, there was only one place that was a bit too cliche, but it was tiny, and the rest of the awesome overshadowed it. I think I may go watch it again.
The one place where it was a little cliche.
So I don't even care about this shit anymore but if you want a fun activity online look up any Youtube video of the movie "Nanking, Nanking" which was about the Japanese occupation of China during WW2. It's directed by a Chinese guy but it makes the monumentally stupid mistake of not being explicit in its message. It kind of leads you to conclude on your own that the invading, imperial Japanese army indiscriminately killing civilians is evil so a lot of people have taken that to mean the director approves of what happened.
Also it's really surreal in places so that confuses the simple minded--
Read the comments. It's this hilarious mix of people being racist and snowflakes defending but they're not sure what they're defending because it's Japanese people hating Chinese people so no one knows what the fuck.
I love it so much.
It was very cool! Our associate rector canted a lot of it, which is new for me. I knew he could, but we've never done it before. Of course, the responses were also sung, but that was a little interesting. lol
The brass and tympani players were here tonight (as well as tomorrow), and I love sitting across from them because the new tuba player is very yummy. :) The new french horn player is great.

We sang the Hallalujah chorus at the end. It was my 3-4th time singing it? Ever. lol I had it mostly down, but on page 3, I noticed something on one of the lines, and totally got lost on that whole page. oops. Note to self - *don't read the music.* I did fine prior to actually reading it. *VBG*

And now, instead of going to bed, I'm watching Project Runway. wheee!
Oh my God I can't even take this anymore.
So here's the song of the day--
get to enjoy Korean girls being naughty cowgirls. 
I'm envious of everyone reading this because you get to enjoy this video for the first time.
Not nearly as slutty as Abracadabra though which is a shame but what the hell
There's a 7 minute version that's a knock off a Quentin Tarantino movie but ain't no one got time for that.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

INTELLECTUALISM

let's read a blog written by a guy who fancies himself as really fucking clever and let's be put to sleep by it--
Oh boy.
Like I could write about my misadventures on the internet and make it more compelling than this. It's not that more interesting stuff happens to me it's just I can express it in a better way.
What I'm trying to say is your life isn't boring. You're boring.
I’ve blogged before about the decline of radio as a channel for breaking new music, which is due to both online competition from the likes of Spotify and the effect of consolidation on radio programming (i.e. there’s a reason you hear the same “classic” hits over and over and over again).
So you feel the need to revisit this already boring topic.
Good.
In other words, the medium people rely on most to discover new music is playing less and less of it.
>rely on the radio
>2014
turn up the radio.
This seems inevitable [via Engadget]: A guy was ejected from an AMC movie theatre and questioned by the police for wearing Google Glass.

[…] the unnamed individual stopped by the AMC Easton 30 in Columbus to watch Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit, wearing Google Glass attached to his prescription lenses, something he says he'd done before without any trouble.

Where the story takes a twist however, is when officers moved in an hour into the movie, yanked the Glass from his face, and brought the man and his wife to separate interrogation rooms for over three hours.

They eventually let him go after plugging the Glass into a computer, checking it for pirate material and finding none.

I think if you're caught wearing Google Glass in public you should be shot in the eyes.
The MPAA has since claimed that it's official stance on Google Glass is “it’s not a threat”. Which doesn’t explain why the guy was yanked out of the theatre and interrogated for three and a half hours in the first place.
Because the police are fucking thugs. I don't understand why this is a mystery for anyone.
ITEM: A new study published in the Yale Law Journal has found that tracking a cell phone’s location costs somewhere between 1.9% and .015 % of the price of tailing someone the old fashioned way.

The number depends on the method yr talking about, but essentially it’s the difference between spending hundreds of dollars an hour and just pennies. 
Incidentally he does this annoying thing where "your" becomes "yr".
Considering he bothers with commas and apostrophes the only reason I can conclude for him doing this is to piss specifically me off.
Well it's working so good job.
Also good I hope Google is monitoring me.
Fuck it prepare for boredom.
And that’s about all I have to say about pot legalization in the state.

Well, one other thing, maybe – I don’t remember ever bringing up the War On Drugs™ here.

As you might guess, I am in favor of legalization for a simple reason: criminalization makes no sense whatsoever in a land where binge drinking is either an acceptable rite of passage or an average Friday night. It’s a double standard, and even the people who actively oppose legalization know it is. They just live in this bizarre fear that America will turn into a nation of hippie stoners and then the Communists will take over the world. Or something. 
>Or something
>implying the alcohol industry didn't lobby intensely for the criminalization of marijuana
 The only reason it's swinging the other way must be because the US government reckons there's more money to reap legalizing it than there is from the alcohol industry buying them off.
FULL DISCLOSURE: I have inhaled.

Having said that, I’ve never really been into drugs of any kind, and I’ve especially never cared for recreational marijuana for a few reasons:

1. It’s a long-term ticket to lung cancer.

2. It smells like someone pissing on a hot frying pan full of okra.

3. Most people who smoke it regularly tend to be very boring, boring people.
Ah so I guess that makes you a regular user, then.
Obviously I don’t watch A&E. Or reality shows in general. And based on what little I now know about it (Phil Robertson’s worldview aside), Duck Dynasty doesn’t sound like something that would interest me in any case.

Anyway, of course I have nothing to say about Robertson’s opinions that I haven’t already said a million times before on this blog and elsewhere.

As for the inevitable social media trainwreck, the whole thing is silly on multiple levels. It’s silly that people get lathered up into indignant outrage every time some D-level public figure says something offensive – especially some reality-TV person whose producers benefit from all the publicity. I get that people are offended by Phil’s comments, but yr really just feeding the machine by filling yr Facebook feed with anti-Phil memes. 
OH MY GOD DUDE COME THE FUCK ON.
Do you have any emotions?
Come on. Get angry.
Get indignant.
Get happy.
Get something.
Fuck.
And I don't mean about Duck Dynasty. I mean about anything. You clearly don't give a shit one way or another about Duck Dynasty so why the fuck are you even talking about it? Do you feel required to post about timely shit?
Who cares?
Here's my timely comment: Justin Bieber is a twat.
There.
How hard is that?
Move on.
Needless to say, the lead story in Hong Kong for the past couple of days over the weekend (until the MTR broke down for five hours today) has been China’s Chang'e-3 lander arriving on the moon, and deploying the Yutu (“Jade Rabbit”) rover. 
I hope China lands on the moon.
I swear to fuck I hope it becomes a reality.
This country needs to get its act together and I hope losing the greatest thing it ever did to China sends some kind of message.
Peter O’Toole is gone. As you know.

I can’t add much to what’s already being said about him,
SO WHY ARE YOU POSTING YOU BORING SHIT
So.

What have we learned from watching the Twilight Saga?
They're movies for dumb teenage girls who gives a shit?
Are you incapable of picking an interesting topic?
“When yr in love, stick by yr decisions, and don’t let anyone tell you how stupid yr acting because love will never steer you wrong, so what do they know?”
YR YR YR YR
Go piss up a tree, shit for dicks.
This pretty much sums up why I look back on my teenage years with horror and revulsion. Every Friday and Saturday night, all the cool kids would cruise the local mall and hang out.

I hated mall culture. I thought it was superficial bullshit for people who cared more about being popular and fashionable and trendy – and more importantly, being seen doing it – than they did about anything important.

This was, of course, because I was unpopular, unfashionable and the polar opposite of cool. Also, I had no car and no money, so I couldn’t really get to the mall to hang out even if I wanted to. 
>live through the 80s
>80s were gay
DUDE WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOUR FUCK
SHIT
GOD
I’ve long since gotten over my aversion to shopping malls, mainly out of necessity – Hong Kong is lousy with them, as is pretty much every major city in Asia that I travel to, but they do usually serve as giant multilevel convenience stores. They’re also usually where the CD stores and good English-language bookstores are.
You live
in Hong Kong
and the most you can manage is to bitch about shopping malls in the 80s?
So if I'm understanding this entire situation correctly
you came of age in the golden age that is the 1980s and then you went to Asia and you're this boring?
How are you not the most interesting man alive?
What have you done with all this wasted opportunity?
Whew I just need to sit back a moment and catch my fucking breath because this is doing me in and not in a good way.
The film version of Ender’s Game is now playing at a cinema near you – unless yr in Hong Kong like me, in which case it will be at a cinema near me later this week.

And as you may know, there is controversy – mainly because Orson Scott Card, the author of the classic SF novel the film is based on, has expressed fairly silly and noxious opinions about gays and lesbians (though not in the novel).
how is your post not
WOW
I'M IN FUCKING HONG KONG
ONE OF THE MOST COSMOPOLITAN CITIES ON EARTH FILLED WITH ASIAN WOMEN
ITEM: The Daily Beast has an interesting TL;DR story on the Men’s Rights Movement (MRM).

You know, the movement where oppressed dudebros fight against the evil domineering feminist matriarchy that enslaves us.

Yes. The same movement that comes up with ad campaigns like this.  
Where are your balls?
I mean goddamn I cannot believe
with the awesome gift you've been given
the only thing you can think to talk about on October 24, 2013 was to manufacture how pissed off you are at some assholes for being pissed at some cunts.
I mean are you fucking joking?
What, life wasn't good enough for you?
You had to find something to pitch a bitch about?
If I had come of age in the 80s and now lived in Hong Kong and you said "hey men's rights activists are pissed at feminists" here would be my reaction:
"what the fuck is a men's rights activist?"
followed closely by:
"what the fuck is a feminist?"
Despite being a man, I’m not that sympathetic to the dudebro cause. (Which, I understand, makes me a “pussy” – a term that’s been pretty much applied to me since junior high school, which tells you a lot about the mentality involved here.)
You are a pussy.
I mean god
fuck me.
No I can't be mad.
If I get any angrier I'm going to have an issue on my hands.
I don’t do many posts about Obamacare, for a couple of reasons:

1. I know very little about how the healthcare system works. 
Oh yeah?
If I were in your exact situation here would be my one and only post on the subject of Obamacare:
Now all I gotta say to you
Wannabe, gonnabe, pussy-eatin' cocksuckin' prankstas
When the shit jumps off what the fuck you gonna do
Damn it feels good to be a gangsta
2. The attempts by most politicians, pundits and Facebook memes to explain to me how Obamacare is a good or a bad thing tend to be overblown and/or apocryphal. While this is generally a bipartisan issue, it’s a much bigger problem on the Republican side of the equation. 
Oh yeah dude just tell me all about it.
MMMM YEAH GET ME HARD WITH THAT TALK OF BIPARTISAN BULLSHIT GOD I LOVE IT
Anyway, I am now back from Singapore, and I go straight back there next Tuesday (hence the headline of this post). So you can expect some random Singapore-related posts – most of them pictures of buildings and food – for the foreseeable future.

Lucky you. 
COOL.
VACATION FROM HONG KONG TO SINGAPORE.
I get it, though. You needed a break from that 70 degree, full sun beach day.
So instead you went to--
A PLACE WHERE IT'S 85 AND SUNNY.
God fucking damn. 
Oh no good glad there are 5 videos that play automatically when loading this page.
No I'm glad you did that.
Fucking cocksucking asshole.
You know of all the Victor Greywolfs of the world
and the Meanest Moms
this motherfucker has made me angriest.
Good job, dude.
Pacific Rim

Guillermo del Toro’s love letter to giant-monster/giant robot films, in which giant monsters start emerging from a portal in the ocean floor and attacking coastal cities. Humanity fights back with giant robots. Said fights are epic.

There’s so much wrong about this film – technological silliness, bad decision making, and acting ranging from standard to hammy – and yet it works so wonderfully.  
Pacific Rim was good?
What the fuck world are you from--
A kid asked me last week why Hector was such a pussy in The Iliad and my response was "probably because an enraged, nearly invincible demi-god wanted to murder him with a sharpened stick"
I'm suddenly getting that feeling again. Like are we from two different worlds where Hector's motivations are unclear?
Are you from a world where Pacific Rim wasn't shit?
I am back from Tokyo.

I was there for a conference. I got bored. So my note-taking got a little sidetracked. 
UHHH BORING OLD JAPAN
BEEN THERE SO MANY TIMES.
 I used to travel here pretty regularly. I had a lot of fun. Of course, my idea of “fun” is spending a few hours in Tower Records Shinjuku looking for new Japanese bands.
Fun in quotes because you had it once and it was awful.
Well fuck.
You could piss up my leg and I wouldn't be any angrier.
Ok if I go any longer I'm going to stroke out. The rage engine beaten into my brain has finally started scratching into my cortex so I'm outta.
Song of the now from the glorious 1990s.

Monday, January 20, 2014

UUH

Let's do some Dear Abby because I doubt I can handle the social justice on Martin Luther King Day.
Bunch of white wahms moaning about black people.
DEAR ABBY: I'm a high school senior. At the beginning of the school year, I agreed to drive my best friend to school in the mornings, and for a while it was nice.Last month she started to refuse to talk while I was driving. If I tried talking to her, she wouldn't respond. 
It happens.
No rhyme or reason for it. Just write her off and move on.
DEAR DRIVEN CRAZY: Your former best friend may have stopped talking to you on the way to school because she was too busy texting her boyfriend. She is ignoring the fact that you have been doing her the favor of transporting her and is using you as a private taxi service.
If she was frightened because you braked suddenly, the person she should have said it to was you. So stop "explaining" to her and tell her that if she wants to continue getting a free ride, she had better adjust her attitude or make other arrangements for transportation.
There you go.
Move on, amigo.
DEAR ABBY: My husband, "George," and I have been married for 13 years. Last night he dropped a bombshell. He told me that while he loves me, he isn't happy. He assured me he has no inclination to divorce me, but he pretty much laid the entire reason for his unhappiness at my feet.
I don't handle people well. I love George and our son, but I am most relaxed and comfortable when I'm by myself. I don't neglect them. We do lots of stuff outside the house as a family. I have no close friends, and that's how I prefer it.
George's complaint is that I keep him from having friends. I have never tried to stop him. In fact, I have encouraged him to cultivate friendships and hang out with "the guys," join groups, etc. He says he can't do that and leave me at home. I wouldn't mind his going out, but it's nerve-racking for me to go.
Abby, in 13 years I don't think I have ever looked George or my son in the eye. It's not something I'm comfortable with. My husband knew how I was when he married me. What can I do? -- OKLAHOMA LONER
Sounds like some sort of anxiety problem to me.
DEAR ABBY: I recently started a new job. One of the management individuals has taken a strong interest in me. He keeps doing favors for me that benefit me financially and I appreciate it. (I have never asked him to do this.) 
Why'd you do that?
Don't take favors when you know people will expect you to pay them back.
No sympathy here.
I have always been courteous and took his gestures as a sign of kindness.
>kindness
>people
DEAR ABBY: I am a 30-year-old gay man who works in an office with 20 women.
Mmm honey I bet that office gets catty.
In the five years I have worked here, many of my co-workers have either gotten married or had children.

Our office has a tradition of throwing showers for the lucky ladies, and I am always asked to contribute money toward food for the party or an extravagant gift.

While I'm happy to donate to a charity or help a friend in need, I wonder if a wedding or a baby shower would be given for me?
No.
Literally no.
You're a man. You don't have baby showers. Two men are getting married--
no one is going to care about that.
Sorry to say but this is one sided giving.
It shouldn't be like that but what can you do?
You know really the mistake you made was giving something now with the perhaps vague expectation that in the future you'd get it paid back.
This is why I don't do position trades in the stock market. If it's going to make money it better be soonish or it's all empty promises and fairy dust.
All you have to do is look at any ETF to see what I mean.
The sooner you treat people like stocks the sooner you'll realize what they're about.
Am I selfish for feeling hesitant to donate money or gifts when it's likely the favor will never be returned? -- MINORITY MALE IN TEXAS
Categorically no. Your emotions are understandable, even.
DEAR MINORITY: I don't think you are selfish for feeling the way you do. In fact, it's understandable. 
Thank you, Abby.
We are of one mind.
However, in the case of a wedding or baby shower, people give gifts as a way of offering congratulations and good wishes. And I would hope that, even if same-sex marriage isn't recognized by the state of Texas, your co-workers would do something to honor you if you had a spiritual ceremony, which some religious denominations offer.
Even though Abby was a little more positive she did say the magic word:
hope.
As it has been said: he who lives upon hope dies fasting.
DEAR ABBY: I am turning 60 and naturally looking a little "worn." My man friend keeps telling me I need a facelift and to lose 10 pounds, so I'm starting to save my money. Something tells me he wants a "hot chick" and thinks he'll have one once I get these procedures done. It's expensive. What do you think? -- LOOSE-FACED LOUISIANAN
Ave Caesar.
While your desire to please your mate is admirable you are also completely stupid.
60 year olds should be pleased with the way 60 year olds look. I hear this time and again from people my own age: "yeah but in 20 years she'll be ugly"
like yeah and in 20 years I'll also be old and ugly so what's the problem?
Further I think if he wants the procedure so bad he should pay for it.
If you're willing to do it that's your business but clearly as the man in the relationship he should be the man and also pay the bill.
Such is life.
DEAR ABBY: My family has been keeping a secret from my grandmother. I have a 17-month-old daughter that she doesn't know exists. I wanted to tell my grandma from the start about her great-granddaughter (her first), but I am afraid to. My family thinks that telling her will cause too much stress on her. No one in the family takes my feelings into consideration.
I think my grandmother should know she's a great-grandma. The problem is, I don't know how to tell her. She's 90 years old. I'm afraid if I say something now, it really might be too stressful for her. Also, I'm afraid that if I reveal this secret, it will start a family feud.
I want a relationship with my grandma like I used to have. I cry every time I talk to her on the phone because I have to lie to her about my day-to-day life and why I can't come to see her. I am really starting to resent my family. Please help.
What?
Why the secrecy?
Are you 17 and had it out of wedlock?
Also good Christ your grandmother is 90 years old. I think she can handle a little controversy.
Like I'm sure at 90 she hasn't seen some shit.
She has seen and done everything under the sun. Don't even be worried about it.
DEAR ABBY: I have a dear friend who I have been friends with for years. However, there is one thing I can't stand about her. It's her vulgar language. Every sentence that comes out of her mouth includes the F-word. She's not a soft-spoken individual, so others can hear her. It embarrasses me and makes me not want to be around her in public.
How can I tell her she embarrasses me when she talks that way? -- SOFT-SPOKEN FRIEND

Grow a set.
 A THOUGHT FOR THE DAY, COURTESY OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN: "He who falls in love with himself will have no rivals."
Whoa I just quoted Benjamin Franklin.
My quote was better though.
Abby we are on the same page tonight.
In fact let's depart with some more wisdom from ol' Ben:
Kings have long Arms, but Misfortune longer:
Let none think themselves out of her Reach.
Truly a wise man.
The song of the now.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

2pro

Let's take a break from all these women blogging and go for a guy blogging.
You know what I say: all guys with blogs are gay.
Read this shit. I can almost see the fedora through the monitor.
I was in despair, I tell you: utter despair. There had been no sightings of any feathered beings anywhere near any of my feeders, bar only Black Phoebe the Tyrannical Flycatcher posing on the hanger while she watched for insects to massacre; I quite thought all my efforts to be in vain. Spurned, I felt. I did.

But I was just making a cup of tea, in the classic British manner, when I happened to glance out of the window - and lo! Hummer! Zooming around the feeder, trying the sunny side and the shady side alternately (I was worrying at five o'clock this morning, whether it would get too hot for the little birdies under our relentless sunshine), pausing on the hangar, being entirely darling. So that's okay.
How much money do you want to bet this queer is American?
And fat?
Today's good news: the bottle of vanilla extract didn't break, tho' it fell from a great height and not much like the gentle rain from heaven* upon the plates beneath.

Today's bad news: those plates. They did break.

M'wife says "So fucking what?", but, y'know. I get so sick tired of dropping things and breaking things and so forth, and yet I continue to do it.
He never says "my" it's always "m'" which really leads me to believe he's tipping his fedora every single time.
Like run through this thought exercise with me:
"my wife"
"m'wife"
"my lady"
"m'lady"
What do you think?
"My wife" = man with wife
"my lady" = knight
"m'wife" and "m'lady" seem like an incomplete thought. The clause needed to finish the thought would be "he said, tipping his fedora."
As with most of my bad habits and character flaws, come to think. I read once that short-sighted people are often clumsy, and I drew solace from that for years, decades; but solace wears thin in the end, I find.

Anyway. We get to buy new plates, yay?

Also I am instructed that I should point out that m'wife is taking shameless advantage of her inside track, and has posted a list of my award-eligible stories on her blog. Hrrumph.

(Also also, I hadn't realised quite how little I published last year. Good grief: what happened there?)


*Which, I might put out, we are still waiting for, here in NoCal.
>NoCal
>faggot doublespeak for "Northern California"
Got you you motherfucker.
You're not British. Stay where you belong, Amerifat.
Actually, at the moment I'm quite in favour of lists.
British spelling.
Do you hear that? It's the sound of neckbeard rubbing against double chin.
Actually I just found out his irl name (Chaz Brenchly dude what) and if you google him you can see he does indeed have a neckbeard but appears a reasonable weight. Also he's wearing a baseball cap but I feel that's just a replacement for the fedora.
Inside it's all fedora.
In my backpack I have put changes of jeans, of shirts, of underwear. I have a small pharmacopoeia of chemical aids and bathroom appurtenances. I have my phone, the Laptop of Utterable Delights and a spare little bag full of cables. I have my sunglasses and my reading glasses. I have a book and my Kindle (and, again, my phone: now with Kindle app applied).

I do believe I may be ready for a day and a night in the city. 
"laptop of utterable delights"
"laptop filled with porn"
So I have all this lovely goose fat, which as we know is yummyscrump for roasting potatoes. What I'm wondering, though, is how else I might splendidly use it. I don't really have enough for a pot of confit, alas; but in any case, I'm thinking of more general uses. F'rexample,
I'm sorry, can you run that by me again with none of the pretention?
Oh that's right you can't because you just seriously asked Dreamwidth how to use goose fat.
I came home this morning with a lovely piece of skirt steak*, which I am browning for tonight. Is it wasteful of me to be browning it in goose fat, or will that make a blessed contribution to the complexities of flavour...?

I did also come home with small quantities of various rices, for purposes of playing with the new toy. And yet, and yet - we are not eating rice tonight. This is because I am an Imp of the Perverse, and I want to make beef stew in a pumpkin. Because I can.


*The word "steak" is added here purely to obviate and head off at the pass any tendency among my readership to go "fnar, fnar". Or local equivalent.
 I'm going to need a minute to decompress after reading that.
Redefinery: where crude language is converted into smooth innocuous prose. Lede-free.

 I'm going to need another minute.
In fact brb I'm going to play a game of League of Legends and take this out on hapless idiots.
Jesus that didn't even help.
Uhhhh.

M'wife has the sleeping sickness.

Isn't that seriously fatal?
How'd she get that?
You only get that in Africa.
Like deep Africa.
Like the Congo.
What's happening?

Down to the farmers' market this morning, for the usual round of fruits and veggies - strawberries, raspberries, broccolini, fennel, kale, brussels sprouts, beetroots, Chinese beans, chocolate from the nice Vice lady* - and also to drop in at Leigh's bookstore, where she was hosting three local foodie writers.

The note is talking about chocolate being a vegetable.
But it's not. It's a seed, technically.
I know because I just googled it.

I just spent a thousand bucks on lumber for the fencing.

I should like it noted, though, that at least I did it in American. Bucks, you say? Lumber? Very well...

So let me tell you about League of Legends.
I suck.
Then I get a bit better and a magic number in the game starts matching me with better people.
Then I suck again.
Until I learn--
Then the magic number goes up and I suck again.
I can't see this number but it must be there because I'm facing increasingly tougher competition.
It's like Caesar says. Better first in a village than second in Rome but okay, at this rate I can be first in Rome.
But whoa hold on. I was used to everyone sucking so hard they couldn't even buy their own champions so I'd just play all the free rotation once and I'd at least know what everyone was going to try to do a bit.
But now I've rotated up enough that people can buy their own champions.
So besides the usual free rotation (because they're not that good yet to just not use free rotation) I'll encounter at least 3 people using shit I've never even seen.
Like spike turtle man. Apparently named Rammus?
Then Vlad the gay vampire who is surprisingly not bad at all--
And nothing prepares you for this. You just get in range and hope you don't die to a move you didn't know existed until five seconds ago.
Meanwhile half your team is screaming at you for dying too much because you've never even seen half this shit before and you're too busy telling them how you're going to find where they live and staple their lips to their own assholes if they don't shut the fuck up about how bad you are because you've only been playing this fucking game for a week and I'd like to see how fucking good you were the first week in--
it's all very stressful.
But if you go 14/7 with Ahri because you've been studying a lot about how she works no one says a fucking thing.
Basically the quest to not be a scrub lord is intense and fraught with screaming middle schoolers.
Much like teaching.

That may be the first time I've ever fried a strawberry.

Welcome to Freedom.
So what the fuck am I supposed to do for the song of the day huh
All I've been listening to all day is gay Korean pop.
So I guess it'll have to be that.
Oh by the way don't get excited and think the girls are going to kiss at the end. I've seen this video 197 times and they don't.
So let me explain to you what this group is about.
Much like all pop bands created by committee they're all the same so the thing to set this one apart is they're all slutty.
You'd think someone would try a group that can sing.
That's ostensibly The Wonder Girls (I know a lot about Korean pop, ok) but the thing is they can't sing either so I don't know what that's about.
I guess they did have that song Nobody from like 2003 or something but that doesn't count because I don't think any of those members are still in the band.
Then there's all the bands that kind of blend together in their mediocrity.
KARA
miss A
Girl's Day
Afterschool
These are real. You can look these up. It might sound like I'm making up but I promise you I am not.
Then there's all the single singer spin offs from previous girl groups like Hyuna and Gain--
am I going insane?
What am I talking about?
Then it gets really confusing when the Korean girl groups cross over with Japanese has beens or never weres--
like when Afterschool did a song with Namie Amuro.
That's a thing I listened to.
That's not even the most obscure Asian music thing I know. I have a CD of Matsubara Miki's greatest hits in my car.
That's a Japanese bossa nova singer who had a couple of minor hits in the late 70s and early 80s.
That's a thing I know about.
Is this being a weeaboo or is this neurosis at this point?
No wait that's not the most obscure thing about Asian music I know.
Midori Kinouchi's 1979 one hit wonder Yokohama Eleven is.
That's a song you can listen to on Youtube if you want.
89 people have listened to it.
How do I know this
am I going insane?


Tuesday, January 14, 2014

When the shit jumps off what the fuck you gonna do

Holy shit Elder Scrolls Online
I signed an NDA saying I wouldn't talk about it or they'd ban me but who gives a shit
being banned from that steaming pile would be the greatest favor anyone has done me in the last year.
I don't know what the fuck they're thinking like holy Christ on a cross.
Character customization in an Elder Scrolls game?
Fuck off. We can just have the same 5 boring MMO jobs and dress it up a bit with skills that level independent of each other except not really because who will use healing staves as a thief--
no one.
Also the game has bad controls.
I know that seems impossible because MMOs are maybe the genre where controls matter the least but this game has bad controls.
I swear it's true. I have never played an MMO that felt floaty before.
 And remember I was addressing the plot and how it makes no sense to give it any sort of mystery because we know for a fact none of this shit matters because the games that have already come out don't even mention this supposedly important event when they still talk about Arena which was literally 15 years ago real life time and in game it was hundreds?
Yeah they further cripple themselves by having the typical "you are fated to save the world" plot.
Like how is that even possible?
Is everyone playing this game fated to save the world?
How?
If I'm fated to save the world why all the tension?
It's going to happen.
God fuck that game holy shit I'm so disappointed
ANOTHER GREAT GAMING SERIES RUINED BY THE LURE OF WORLD OF WARCRAFT MONEY.
I went for a nice long hike today at the park. About three miles, just me.

It felt great.
You know what doesn't feel great?
The Elder Scrolls Online.
In a fit of nostalgia (or maybe just to pull myself out of the desert of non-fandom things) I've been having a resurgence of love for a lot of fandoms. Last year was the first time Cowboy Bebop was Yuletide-eligible and I got a great Bebop/Go the Fuck to Sleep crossover. This year I requested and offered Bebop.
Cowboy Bebop has a great soundtrack.
Great animation
great story.
10/10 would watch.
You know what's a great idea for a show principally about loss, wandering and not finding your place in the world all set to blues music?
Tons of poorly written fanfiction.
You know, because the show with these lines:
The real folk blues
I only want to know what true sadness is
Sitting in muddy water
Isn't such a bad life
If it ends after the first time
in its ending theme is really going to lend itself well to a bunch of bints writing xDfanfic!!!
That's one of those shows that was such a masterstroke of storytelling sometimes I can't even fucking believe it.
You watch all of the episodes and you want more but at the same time you don't because there is absolutely nothing further to add to the story. It did exactly what it should have done.
In conclusion why the fuck are you writing fanfiction about it?
The characters can't be fleshed out further. It is literally a character study of about 7 people.
So who's finished reading Allegiant and what did you think?

ETA: expect spoilers in comments, naturally.
I'm a grown adult so I don't read books for children.
Sorry m8.
A tiny rant first:

So what is the deal with these twitter spammers favoriting old and irrelevant tweets? The profiles are ridiculous. Check this one out:

I'm a SPED teacher/coordinator in the Bronx. I provide interesting links on education, sustainabilit

redmond, washington. usa
Okay, last I looked, Redmond is nowhere near the Bronx. 
I have no idea what any of this means.
Who cares?
Is your life so devoid of problems you have to resort to finding issues with people on Twitter?
Good for you, then.
Your life is amazing.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

A roaring start

So against all odds I got into the Elder Scrolls Online beta!
Holy shit, yet another mediocre WoW clone to ruin a once great franchise?
Could it possibly be that time already?
Count me the fuck in!
And we're off to a roaring start. I can't even RUN THE FUCKING LAUNCHER.
This is the step before installing the game and it doesn't even work.
Bang up job, Bethesda. 10/10 would definitely pay money.
This computer can run Crysis on maximum but it can't just run a Bethesda installer you fucking
idiot
fuck.
Oh there we go.
Obviously I have to let it hang for 10  minutes, then crash it, then wait another 30 seconds for it to say it finished installing.
I guess a crash landing is still a landing.
And the game is 21 GB.
Of course.
That's like the size of 2 games.
This game better be double as good as Deus Ex: Human Revolution.
I haven't even booted the game up yet and already I'm fucking angry and underwhelmed.
I'm underwhelmed from my expectations of this ruining the franchise.
Somehow my expectation of "franchise ruiner" hasn't even been met.
Oh yeah, in a franchise that includes games for the Nokia N-Gage and the award winner that was Redguard, Elder Scrolls Online will somehow be the worst.
The kicker, to me, is when they were drilling me about the lore and one of the questions starts with "of the fivet Elder Scrolls games..."
Five?
What about Redguard or Battlespire?
I'm not counting the cellphone ones.
There are 7.
The company that makes these games doesn't even know what the fuck.
Doomed from the start.
Oh right. Blogs.

I sort of saw this coming. I mean, the question when you're about to retire is "What are your plans?" My answer has been, "To do nothing for a while and see what develops."
And you can't tell me Redguard and Battlespire aren't important in terms of the story. Battlespire in particular introduced the Ideal Masters and the Havoc Wellhead's collapse caused all sorts of long term shit.
In fact if I'm remembering right the number of internal references to other Elder Scrolls games in Skyrim the most was Oblivion, the game that came right before it, then Battlespire, inexplicably.
Why the Cult of Hard Work is Counterproductive, an absolutely wonderful article by Steven Poole published in New Statesman a couple of weeks ago, goes into "why doing nothing may be the best thing for your well-being and your brain."

Though it's a British article for a British publication and doesn't even mention the word "American," it has a huge bearing on a discussion of American-versus-European concepts of work and leave time that several of us were having here on my journal a few days ago.
Oh good.
Let me just sit here and the money will fall into my wallet.
I've been waiting for this to happen.
Also Elder Scrolls Online takes place in the second era.
When Molag Bal tried to pull Coldharbor into Nirn.
Remember when that happened?
All the times in one of the other games when someone said "hey, this is a lot like that time THE UNIVERSE ALMOST COLLAPSED IN ON ITSELF IN THE SECOND ERA"?
Remember that?
No?
Me neither.
Fuck.
It's pretty clear none of this shit matters because the next closest game chronologically is Redguard and no one mentions it once.
It's a mere 300 years after the entire universe almost ended and it's not even a footnote in history.
People still talk about the end of the first era like it personally affects them when that was more than 1000 years ago, but Coldharbor getting pulled into the material universe?
Ain't nothing to it, really.
I'm about ninety percent through Elizabeth Gilbert's The Signature of All Things, and I'm just...gah! I love it so much, and it cuts so close to the bone for me, that unless Gilbert completely ruins it in the home stretch, it will be one of my favorite novels ever.

It's difficult to discuss without revealing significant themes and plot points, but it probably won't spoil the story to say that for the bulk of its many, many pages (or, in my case, hours of audiobook) it's about a female character in her fifties: an intelligent, erudite, repressed, perfectionistic, obsessive and--not incidentally for me--very big, unattractive--woman who doesn't break out of her chrysalis until late in life.
You know the beauty of the Elder Scrolls was it was a very alien setting and yet nothing that happens in it seems dumb or made up.
Like you could really imagine this shit happening in some far off, alien landscape.
Oblivion kind of fucked that up by making everything look like Renaissance England but they're clearly trying to address that.
Or they were until this mess.
Then they just plonk down this cataclysmic event in the past that no one seems to remember.
It might seem like I'm picking on a small plot point but there was another event that happened in Elder Scrolls mythology called The Warp in the West where all of reality was rewritten due to the providence of this one artifact and yet that history is clearly recorded.
Oh yeah the timeline crunching from multiple paths to linear time is easily documented but a major fuck off event we should have noticed?
No one has time for everything, shit.
Hard drive failure is what I'm (pretty sure I'm) talking about here. This Dell Studio workhorse laptop has weathered four and a half years of my significant demands, but is finally showing signs of...something.

Remember when hard-drive failure was a major catastrophe? Now, not so much. Virtually everything I need to save is in the cloud already. 
The porn cloud.
Also hard drive failure on a laptop is pretty catastrophic.
Does anyone use a solid-state drive? And if so, was it a replacement for an older HDD? How'd that go? 
No it wasn't.
Considering all you do is write fanfiction it's probably fine.
Fucking Elder Scrolls Online.
Fuck this blog, too. Jesus. I was supposed to be updating this blog but I can't even focus on how shitty it is between the boredom of having to read it and staring at the Elder Scrolls Online patcher.

Friday, January 3, 2014

Muh Soginee

Did you know all heterosexual sex is rape and you don't need to have sex to reproduce?
Well I guess the second part is literally true now but--
wow it sure wasn't like 50 years ago, even.
This is Witchwind, a lesson in what is wrong with feminism.
I don't even know--
My previous post of the series was about how emotional/sexual attachment to men (‘heterosexuality’) exists only within the context of OPPRESSION, GENOCIDE or globally organised violence against women by men as a class. Which means that this emotional bond to men can’t be anything else than an uncontrolled chemical response to that inescapable violence and oppression. A response to which men have conditioned us through a fine-tuned system of repression, deprivation, constraints and reward, grooming and brainwashing – aimed to modify our behaviour to ensure our long-term submission. Within this inescapable subordination to men, we can only fear them or trauma-bond to them: therefore love does not exist towards men.
So there you have it I suppose. All those happily married women?
Actually rape victims.
One aspect I haven’t talked yet about men’s heterocage is the role pleasure plays in securing our sexual submission. In other words, how sexual pleasure with men is manufactured – it’s not pleasure but dissociation from the invasion, pain or fear. It’s always worth reminding FCM’s definition of fear and trauma-bonding inherent to intercourse:
FCM is "FactCheckMe", another blogger of this ilk, apparently.
Get ready for acronyms. I've actually done my research on this and I'll provide translations where I can but I get the feeling that won't always (or even usually) be possible.
as i think has been made abundantly clear by now, women are literally putting their lives and physical and mental wellbeing on the line, every fucking time they engage in PIV. (sorry! really, i am). if its not the very reasonable fear of being raped at some point during the encounter, its the fear of disease, and the dread, absolute dread of an unintended or unwanted pregnancy. and that last one applies even in wanted encounters with trusted partners, does it not?
PIV is "penis in vagina" which is a decidedly juvenile label for the subject but okay.
Every time I see "PIV" All I think is "benis in fagina :DDDDDDDDDDDDD"
every single act of intercourse, from somewhat pre-menstruation to somewhat post-menopause. or…until your mate gets his nads snipped…and even then. fear, and dread. foreboding, terror, and bargaining with god. counting the days. … when women have PIV with men, we are encountering a life-threatening situation, with another person, by definition. not surprisingly, we form intense bonds with our war-buddies, these men with whom we have literally faced death and disfigurement. terror.
So are you war buddies or are they rapists?
Because I still keep in contact with people I played FFXI with. It's like we went through a war together.
They are the opposite of people I would call terrorists or rapists.
Before I go any further I just want to pull up again some basics on consent, violence and oppression, because that applies to every situation of violence: no matter how much you think you want, enjoy or choose to submit to an act of violence, violence excludes choice by definition, so it’s never something you could have chosen.
There you go.
Women are incapable of making informed consent.
Know who else can't make informed consent?
Children.
This is coming from a feminist.
Consent is meaningless and irrelevant with regards to defining men’s violence and describing the objective reality of it. The only ones to choose and want are those who do the violence: men. They choose to resort to violence because they want to obtain something from us that they wouldn’t otherwise be able to obtain (using us as their dick receptacles, control our reproduction). Will, calculation, intent and choice of means to achieve their end are all on their side. Saying that we choose and want it is a reversal and lie. The illusion of our choice protects men not us, because deception and reversal is in part how they maintain their rule.
Man.
I feel like a Predator alien now.
This is maybe the most hardcore description of men ever.
Bringers of terror.
We choose where to deliver death.
How can you be a feminist reading this?
Clearly men have it going on.
#1. The pleasure we experience during intercourse isn’t natural, but groomed. Men teach us how to instantaneously associate the fear, pain and/or invasion of the penetration to clitoral stimulation, so we dissociate from it – cut it off – and think it’s pleasurable. 
Haha oh wow.
I didn't know humans invented sex.
I thought species before humans had been reproducing via intercourse for millions of years.
Clitoral stimulation may function in the exact same way as dissociation in a situation of sexual violence because it sends dissociative drugs to the brain. Dissociation is a drug, so this reaction to PIV may become an addiction, a rush we crave for like cocaine.
If the clitoris is specifically there to shield women from their violation and rape--
makes you wonder why mammals evolved it in the first place. It sounds maladaptive from that description.
Or maybe men forced women to evolve them.
The great scam of the 20th century goes threefold: that women’s liberation consists in
  1. being free to be fucked by any man
  2. having orgasms in being fucked by men
  3. achieving equality to men with the pill, so we can now be fucked by men without consequences, that is dissociate PIV from reproduction.
What it is about is men‘s freedom to rape more women, and diminishing men’s restrictions in raping already-owned women. They want to be able to rape even their neighbour’s wife or daughter and not get in trouble for trespassing other men’s private property.
"Women are property" - feminist blog
I suspect you're getting off on this.
 There seems to be two types of colonisation:
There's a term I have a big fucking problem with. Colonization.
I hear it all the time in relation to various shit.
How can you colonize women?
They're not a country.
 How are transsexuals part of a colonization process?
Once again: not a country.
The first time I heard this was in relation to slavery in America but once again the black people here aren't being colonized (at least not as we understand it).
Their existence here and continued racism might be a product of colonialism but you can't actually colonize people.
You colonize land.
What happens to the people already there?
I can't say but I hardly believe you can "colonize" 51% of the entire population of earth and if you can then maybe one has to wonder why women allow this.
It's at this point I'd be accused of blaming the victim.
I am not, though. I do not believe in this nonsense.
This isn't a case of individual rape. This is an absurd argument that just being a woman means you're being raped always.
If this shit is all true and the solution is as simple as walking the fuck away why haven't millions of women?
#1: one where the woman is colonised but something of the spell or the rigidity of the colonisation has been broken somewhere and she is ready for the leap. In other words, radical feminism has the potential to create connections and liberate her from invasive male presence. If talked to about radical feminism, it will immediately make sense, or very shortly after. These women are great to be around with as a radfem because convos just flow, there’s no mental blocking out to what you’re saying and you can trust that she understands the words you use, which is not a small feat in patriarchy.
PATRIARCHY.
So some women are as crazy as you, basically--
which is true--
#2: one where men have placed auto-immune defences against feminism in a woman: she is made to fear and block out feminism from her mind or some parts of it, to see it as a threat, and will eliminate, sabotage or shut it down or turn against herself and other women.  It works very much like an auto-immune disease or cancer where she is unconsciously, unwittingly acting on men’s behalf, defending their interest by destroying her healthy cells. (Men are cancer).
So if you say "wow maybe that's a little crazy" you're brainwashed.
So you're free to think what you want to as long as you agree with her.
And she's liberating you.
Remember that always. She considers herself the liberating force here.
Note. I’m writing on colonisation because I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships with non radfem (though already into feminism) women lately and how difficult these relationships are. This is a really important question to me because talking to women about feminism (spinning) and creating bonds with women in order to decolonise collectively from men is really what’s most important and what I believe feminism and liberation is based on. But sometimes I just get so much shit, and it never stops being painful and exhausting. I make friends with women, I introduce them to feminism, I’m full of hope that finally there will be women with whom to discuss and further radical feminism, just BE with them and not in dissonance as it usually is with colonised women, but at some point they end up betraying me, hurting me, they stop and stagnate in the middle of their tracks, may revert even, turn against me, because i’m too far ahead and they can’t go there yet, because they’re not ready to meet certain feminist standards, they have a boyfriend who keeps undoing what she just learned, they’re still not feminist enough to value our friendship and the feminist space we’re giving each other, they have no idea how rare and precious it is, or may still prefer male company. It hurts every time the same.
Translation: they don't think like me so I don't want to deal with them.
I’ve finally figured something out. That we’re not supposed to be angry against women, as in, our anger against women is purely manufactured by men. And if we are angry, we’re angry against the male colonisation in her, not really her, though what happens is that we confuse it with the woman and hit on her instead.
Even when a woman is shitty it's a man's fault.
This ‘embedded maleness’ or ‘incarnate male presence’ as Mary Daly called it, are insidious male ideologies that men have hammered into our psyche, like an anti-personnel landmine fastened inside us which explodes in contact of other women, so that women turn against us, instead of turning against men and feeling sorry or compassion for the pitiable state that men have put us in.
Holy shit.
I thought Kenshiro was hardcore. Men put mines in women with words.
Fuck.
So hardcore
2 stronk
Also I'm pretty sure a landmine is anti-personnel by definition.
The term “fuck you” is not an insult for nothing, men know why – it’s the worst thing you can do to a human being. 
Many languages have no analogue for "fuck you" as an insult.
Not to call you wrong but most people don't speak English.
My first essentialist thought on men’s violence was that only men could ever build an entire necrophilic society around the raping and controlling of women’s reproductive capacities because only men are biologically capable of doing it, using their own biology as weapons against women – penis and semen. So I saw that patriarchy fitted to men’s biology to the extent that it is only achievable through their biological capacity to rape and impregnate women. Also, I saw their hatred of women partly as an of envy women’s reproductive power and obsession with their own incapacity to reproduce life.
Except without men women aren't reproducing either, so--
I base it on an intuition and experience: being around with women is substantially and physically different from being around with men. The physical and sensory experience is simply different, and I’m not talking about touching in just a physical way, but the physics of soul-touching and sparking. Men are incapable of spinning; in every possible sense of the term. Any energy sent to them never comes back, it’s a dead end, a black hole, it goes plop, or flop, it stops there and never moves, there is no real exchange, and at the very least we’re left with a feeling of unease. Whereas with women, especially with radical feminists, you can actually feel the spinning going on, the revitalisation, the constant movement of mind and senses, things just flow. 
I'm giving this to you slightly out of context but note that this was on the cusp of "scientific" "research".
So apparently "soul sparking" is hard science.
She also (maybe ironically) cites a study about the corpus callosum that was published 100% by men.
Also I like how her intuition and experience is equivalent to hard science, statistics and years of study and decades to centuries of real science.
When comparing male and female cognitive / sensory powers, I find the example of male shamans very interesting. In most – if not all – current traditional societies where shamanism is still practised, males monopolise this function and pass it only to their son or the next generation male. Typically, all male shamans across the world have to resort to drugs in order to “see” and thus perform their “healing” function as shaman (imitate female healing powers).
Imitate female healing powers that exist.
Fuck you.
Magic is real.
These drugs may be anything from tobacco, hallucinogenic mushrooms or other products, alcohol or also putting themselves in extreme and painful physical conditions in the aim of achieving a “second” state. What is interesting is to see that the drug-taking is primarily a male practice. Female seers, by contrast, do not traditionally need or take such drugs.
I'm pretty sure there are women magic users with a tradition of drug use. I can't be bothered to Google it so maybe I'm wrong but I'm almost positive.
I’m certain that men need these external drugs to access parts of their brain that they wouldn’t otherwise be able to access, because of their cerebral deficiency. Besides drugs always have a physical cost, they aren’t without negative consequences to the body and brain, and men often have almost as little regard to their own bodies as they have for the external world. I have always deeply distrusted drugs, saw it as a tool of control and dislike the way it shifts your consciousness in an artificial and coercive way, that makes it unsafe and unpredictable. I don’t see the need for an external product when we can simply learn to connect ourselves naturally, which is a far healthier way of doing it because it’s something that comes from you, in your own time.
I think drugs are bad so therefore fuck men who take drugs.
Despite deciding consciously that I would always avoid men and male things the best I could and only interact with women on a close basis, to protect myself as much as i could, i realised a few weeks ago how still my thoughts and my life revolved so much around men, because making a constant conscious effort to avoid men still meant men were occupying my mental space, the threat of their violence always looming in the back (or front) of my mind). Obviously men are never very far, and if they’re not physically there, they spook and infiltrate every aspect of our lives (to use a Mary Dalian word) with their death infrastructures. Reminders of men and their system are everywhere in nearly everything that surrounds us, especially if you live in a man-made flat our house in a man-made town.
So go and make your own apartment.
No woman is heterosexual. What men call heterosexuality is an institution where men make women captive for PIV, to control our reproductive functions and steal our labour. Heterosexuality, or sexuality with men does not exist, because the only relationship to men that exists is men’s violence, physical and mental invasion – one that men have so well crafted and disguised for so long that we can mistake it for attraction, sexual urges or love. All women’s “attraction” to men is 100% eroticised trauma bonding / stockholm syndrome.
HETEROSEXUALITY AIN'T BE REAL.
Man she's fucking wordy.
Using all these words invented by men, too.
Good grief.
Check my fucking privilege, someone.
I HAVE TOO MUCH PRIVILEGE HELP
I CAN'T CHECK IT ALL.
God this blog.
I can't handle how boring this is.
So many words devoted to "people don't think like me so I better not associate with them ever."
Wow.
Oh well.
Let's get some hateful, misogynist rape music going.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Fuck New Year's, too

Let's find a blog that isn't about fanfiction.
I will not review a blog if it involves fanfiction.
Well this is impossible.
Uhhhhh
Fuck.
Well time for a New Year's Resolution, then: I resolve to update on schedule more.
This has been the worst year for updates.
And fuck fanfiction I'm dead serious let's read Dear Annie instead.
Dear Annie: I have two grown daughters. I don't know what I expected as we all grew older, but it certainly wasn't what I got.
Here's the problem with my older daughter, "Bethany." The three of us had lunch together, and afterward, Bethany said she was bored and had taken on part-time work as a phone sex worker.
Haha oh wow.
I was stunned and thought she was making it up. She is notorious for lying. But she swore she was telling the truth. Annie, she and her husband both have good jobs, and she certainly doesn't need the money. It made me furious, but we have not mentioned it since. 
Your daughter is a whore.
What's there to say?
So basically her daughters are shitty and she doesn't know what to do because she raised them right.
I kinda doubt it but maybe.
Maybe they're just shitty people.
I mean the one already has a kid. Damage is done, I say.
Dear Annie: I am a married mother with two children, both in high school. But I am in love with a man who is not my husband of 21 years. "Harry" is my first love, and he came back into my life unexpectedly. He is also married.
Neither of us is passionate or loving toward our spouses anymore. We both feel that we are growing apart from them. I am waiting for my children to finish high school before I make any final move.
My husband still seems to believe we can be a happy couple, but I don't agree. He is unaware of my affair, but I can tell that he feels that I'm growing more distant from him every day.
An additional problem, however, is that Harry seems to go through fits and starts about leaving his large family for me. But his marriage is based on a lie. Do you have any suggestions on what we should do? 
THE REWARDS OF MARRYING WHITE WOMEN.
"I'll just stay married to him so I can suck the last vestiges of life from him."
Do I have any suggestions?
Stop being a lying cunt.
Also kill yourself.
Dear Massachusetts: Yes. You should stop lying and cheating and being disrespectful to each other and to your marriages. If you are unhappy with your husband, get counseling or get out. But do not rely on Harry to "save" you. We suspect he enjoys the affair more than he would a divorce, and that you enjoy the romance and intrigue more than working on the day-to-day responsibilities of a real marriage.
You've invested 21 years and have two children. Please see whether there is something worth salvaging, and if so, take the energy you are giving to Harry and put it into your marriage. You'd be surprised what a little genuine effort can do.
No fuck that.
End it.
Dear Annie: I plan to ask my girlfriend of seven years to marry me. I put the ring I wanted on layaway. It's a nice simple band with a big stone.
Whoa easy there, slugger. Read the letter above yours to make sure you're doing the right thing first.
Also you put a ring on layaway. You can't even afford the entry fee to marriage.
White women are expensive to keep and as you can see you're not getting much in return.
You have to ask yourself: what would baby Jesus do?
However, when we were talking about rings, she mentioned that she'd love a giddy, girly ring with smaller stones and a lot of design. She doesn't know about the ring I've already picked out.

Since I'm the one who has to buy the ring and do the asking, I feel I should get to pick the style. We can choose the wedding bands together. And if she changes her mind about marrying me, she doesn't get to keep the ring, right? — A Little Help 
You haven't even asked her and already you are hopelessly, irredeemably fucked. Don't do it.
You should get to pick the design?
You should pick something fashion related over your girlfriend?
The thing she, not you, is going to be wearing, no less?
You better fly home from Mars and unfuck yourself, pronto.
Dear Little: No about selecting the ring, but yes about returning it. Your girlfriend, not you, will be wearing this ring for a long time. If you're smart, you will let her pick the style she prefers. Otherwise, she may resent wearing it. 
Even if she likes the style you picked she'll still resent you because you took her choice away.
I don't think you understand how juvenile women are about marriage. It's their day to be the Disney princess.
It's like when men see movies involving giant robots. There's no rationalizing it.
You get to decide the price range. And if she breaks the engagement, she should return the ring. But as your first lesson in marriage, please learn to listen to the other person and be accommodating when you can.
Yeah. Get ready to, uhhh, "accommodate" a lot.
But don't expect it in return. Just lie down and die, really.
Dear Annie: I am an 84-year-old woman in love with a 92-year-old man. Since I'm rather old-fashioned, I do not believe in living with him unless we are married. However, marrying him could change our financial status. Is there any service that could be performed so that we may live together legally and not impact our children's legacy? -- In Love 
Wait 6 months and one or both of you will be dead.
Problem solved.
Dear Annie: I am responding to "Not Unsympathetic," whose granddaughter's birthday parties are "ruined" by a 6-year-old autistic stepgrandson.
I am the mother of a child on the autism spectrum. While his autism is very mild and would not ruin family gatherings, I am sensitive to his issues. Many times, autistic children have a meltdown because the stimulation is too much for them. The sounds, smells and noise produce a fight-or-flight response. That is not the same thing as a tantrum, in which children become unruly because they aren't getting their way.
The stepgrandson isn't going to the party with the intent of ruining it. Try to imagine a situation in which the noise is too much, the colors too bright, the smells overwhelming, and there are some alien rules of behavior that you don't understand. Try to hold it together under those circumstances at the age of 6.
When we're out with our son, we do our best to anticipate what might cause a meltdown and try to avoid it. But sometimes we don't know what's going to trigger it. Your advice to have a separate family party sounds like a good start. — Not Unsympathetic to the Child
Look I get it. I get your kid is autistic.
Can't this be about the other kid for a day, though?
If your kid is going to have a fight-or-flight response to birthdays maybe skip that one.
Dear Annie: I'm a 26-year-old female and have been engaged to a wonderful man for the past year. We had plans to marry after he graduates in June with his master's degree. 
Oh boy here it comes.
The problem started when on several occasions my girlfriends and I went out to the bars and danced until the wee hours. During one of those nights, I had a few too many drinks and ended up kissing one of the guys I was dancing with. My fiance found out about it from a mutual friend, and now he wants to break off our engagement. He feels this was cheating and that I have betrayed his trust.
Is this cheating, or is he being unreasonable? — Heartbroken 
Smart man. You're not even married yet and already you're acting a fool.
I believe Julius Caesar makes this patently clear when he says "a Caesar's wife must be above suspicion."
If you want to be happy in life this should be your first, second, third and maybe fourth and fifth consideration.
Dear Heartbroken: While it may not be as serious as sleeping with another guy, that kiss was still a betrayal. And if you enjoy going out to bars in order to dance with other guys and drink so much that you cannot control your behavior, it doesn't sound as if you are ready to get married. Imagine how you would feel if your fiance behaved this way.
You owe him a sincere apology and a promise to curtail your drinking. We hope he is willing to give you another chance. But if you cannot understand or admit that your behavior was inappropriate, please let him find someone else who shares his values.
Please let him?
I think he'll do as he pleases. He sounds like the first reasonable person I've come across in these letters this evening.
Here's someone writing in with protips and the letter ends with this sage advice:
But I have no other answers. Life is complex, and sometimes you limp along as best you can.
Thanks for that I guess.
Dear Annie: I recently lost my driving privileges and have been getting a ride from a co-worker twice a week. I am right on her way to the office, so it's not at all out of her way.
This co-worker recently blindsided me with a demand to pay her gas money.

I don't feel I should pay her, because she already drives there. Do you think I should pay? How much? I already pay another person to take me to and from work on the other three days because it is definitely out of the way for him. I can't afford to pay a second person. I work the third shift and am the main provider for my family of five. — Broke in Ohio
Should've thought of that before losing your license, I suppose.
Also yes. She's doing you a favor you selfish fuck. Float her 20 bucks.
Dear Annie: My stepdaughter has announced that she will be getting married next year. She would like a destination wedding in Tahiti.
Her father and I do not have a lot of money. We told her we could give her a certain amount toward the wedding, but we could not afford for both of us to attend. Her response was, "You'll figure it out."
My husband is two years away from retirement, and we refuse to take out a loan. I'm afraid this is going to cause tension in the family.

Please help. — Not Going
How about you get married in a small, local ceremony then buy a house?
Or don't because real estate is a losing roll of the dice for idiots.
How about you save that money?
Just kidding. Can't tell a Disney princess that.
Only solution: "fuck off and die you worthless sack of shit."
And I'm up to the point where I last left off on this grand adventure.
Wow.
Fuck fanfiction, man.