ಠ_ಠ

Well I solved the great mystery of "what the fuck happened to the sections on Livejournal?" If one registers (ugh), clicks on the "communities" section, then clicks on the teeny tiny "life" section barely visible above the search bar, one is then free to browse this high quality content after watching a brief (30 second) commercial.
Goooooooood.
But it was all worth it, because I found this fascinating romp into pretentiousness.
Today I'm going to have a little contest with myself. I'm not allowed to say "cool story, bro" and the second I want to default to that response the entry ends.

All of my favorite characters-- in literature, in history-- are hard-headed women who are completely unafraid to speak their mind, who are sure of themselves and are correct to be so confident. I call these women "badass" and their badassery intrigues me to no end.

Cool story br-- FUCK. One more time, okay. That was a practice run.
Uhhh--
Uhh--

-Scarlett O'Hara (Gone with the Wind, as always my first and foremost fictional fascination) (WIN for alliteration!) (WIN for rhyming!)
-Dominique Francon (The Fountainhead)
-Joan of Arc-Cleopatra
-Paulina (The Winter's Tale)
-Hermione (The Winter's Tale)-Melisande Shahrizai (Kushiel's Legacy series)
-Eva Peron

That's funny. All my favorite characters in literature never whine once.
I guess Joan of Arc didn't (except when she was getting burned to death, but I think she's within her rights at that point). Other than her, though, fuck this list.
Also I'm amazed you stayed awake through The Winter's Tale. Well, not entirely, since it's boring and you're a bore so you have a lot in common, but I know personally I entered a twilight coma to get through it.
Fuck pastorals.THAT'S ONE OF SHAKESPEARE'S PROBLEM PLAYS BECAUSE IT'S REALLY DRAMATIC--
Great, don't give a shit.

I admire their badassery and I aspire to it, to varying degrees depending on the character in question. For each of these women, I want to be them, at least a little bit. That is one of the reasons I will propose Winter's Tale, because it has a high concentration of the kind of badassery I so love.

Don't you have to do something to be badass? I always thought so, anyway. Like when Kenshiro punches people and their heads explode and he doesn't whine once during it. Sort of like that.
You know then a guy asks for mercy and he says something like "you gave none, so none shall you receive," and then the guy's already dead.
What'd Scarlet O'Hara do, exactly? I don't honestly know, having never read the book and I fell asleep during the movie (watched it in school, so I was killing like five birds with one stone by falling asleep).

I have been pondering something which is VERY exciting to me. So I am going to share my ponderings :)

Great.Can't wait!

Last semester I was pondering proposing a show. Pericles, Prince of Tyre, to be exact.

Sounds pretty-- Zzzzzzzz.

Winter's Tale lends itself VERY well to a fairy-tale motif, somewhat more so in the second part of the play, which takes place in mainly in Bohemia.

DE COLOHRLESS GRAY FOHG SWEPT EHCROSS BOLETARIA
No, wait, that's Demon's Souls.
Also good work, Demon's Souls. Wouldn't "gray fog" by definition be colorless?
Whatever.

I'm not sure yet precisely what I want to do with these elements, from a design perspective; but I love them so very, very, very much, and I've been thinking about it near-constantly for the past couple of days.

Wow you're really boring.

My antisocial-ness springs from laziness most of the time, or from feeling a lack of interestingness; and then because I am feeling this way, being antisocial perpetuates my feeling uninteresting, and creates in me a sense of being adrift.

Ooph, that was a lot of douchiness to take at once.
Hold on, feeling a little winded after that.
Okay, proceed.

So last night, Walter and Charlotte and I went to see the Vagina Monologues.

Oh? How much were they paying you?
Goddamn, leave it to these high-minded pretentious assholes to make vaginas boring.
I didn't think that was physically possible, but I guess true douchebaggery reigns.

I have been waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak, on my study abroad application for quite some time now.

Oh where are you headed?I would bet it's either England or France.
Probably England.

I have been waiting to go to Argentina for literally my entire life.

Oh.Didn't see that one coming, anyway.

And this morning, during yoga, the idea hit me that I might not get approval...

During Yoga huh huh lllllllllllllllllllllll

Which isn't to say that I didn't fit into the homogeneity; after all, I am Jewish and I look it.

Ah that means your mom is Jewish.
Only goes matrilineally, don't you know.

This morning in Econ Stats, I experienced a thought of such profound geekitude that I just had to share it:

"Friends, Romans, Countrymen" is Antony's construction of a 99% confidence interval to test the null hypotheses that Caesar was ambitious, and that Brutus is an honorable man.

Hold on, hold on:

For those of you who don't speak statistics: the null hypothesis is a claim that you make about a given population, which you hope to reject after you construct a confidence interval.

Yes, surprisingly I, too, had to sit through elementary statistics as well.

a 99% confidence interval will be more accurate than a 95% interval.

Good, good, keep it coming. I have aaaaaaaaaaaaaaall day.

Today I was productive. It was like a great switch turned on in my brain (with particular respect to microeconomics) and I could figure out the problem set I've been puzzling over for days now.

Cool story br--Ah fuck, I guess that's it, then.
Oh well. I had a good run, one false start notwithstanding.
In fact, I'm going so far as to give myself the Chef Excellence stamp of approval:

Huuuuuuuuurrrrrrrr

Today is March 8th. Tomorrow is March 9th, and that means Final Fantasy XIII comes out. I'd say I'm excited, but I don't think what I'm feeling is excitement. Concern, perhaps. I mean I've heard a lot of shit about it. There's practically no world map (unless you count a straight line as a map), there are 15000000 cutscenes per square inch of world (not an uncommon trait in Final Fantasy, not sure why this is a criticism). When I heard this I thought it might be okay. Final Fantasy X had all that shit it and it was still a great game, obnoxious male and female lead notwithstanding.
But then I heard it. The magic silver bullet to every Final Fantasy ever: time travel. Time travel does not mix with Final Fantasy. Every time they try it comes off incredibly fucking dumb. Look at FFVIII.
Speaking of incredibly fucking dumb (smooth transition): Sweet and Lovely.

Gragh. I'm currently writing/planning about a hundred different stories. Well, with one of them, I've been planning to have Liza, my main character, fall in love with Lionel, the male lead.

Wow a love story where two people fall in love. How original.

Well, I've suddenly lost interest in getting the two together, not because I don't like Lionel, but because I've just introduced his best friend into the story, and now part of me really would like Liza to fall in love with him instead.

Maybe Lionel can still love Liza (usually a bad idea to have your two main characters with same-y names, but whatever) while she still wants the best friend. Maybe the best friend can turn out to be a total dick. Lionel comes to hate both. Maybe the best friend can wrongfully accuse Lionel of treachery, landing Lionel in a 19th century French dungeon.
Then Lionel can escape with the help of a priest accused of being a supporter of Napoleon (sort of like Lionel was) after learning all of the Priest's worldly skills (which were ample). Then, so changed by his experience, he can integrate himself back into the same society as someone else to exact vengeance on those who wronged him.
Ha, ha, just kidding this book already exists.
Of course in that book Dante's chick didn't marry Danglars (one of the men who wrongfully accused him) but one of her cousins (ew) but whatever basically the same shit.
But keep aiming for the stars, kid. I'm sure it'll work out fantastic.

This year I'm trying to set myself a personal goal for each month, whether it be something educational and improving, or totally fun and frivolous.

Sounds like it'd backfire. I'd just set my goal every month to be "this month I promise not to make any more goals for myself" but maybe you have more willpower than me.

However, I don't know what to do this month. I don't even really have any ideas. So I thought I might turn to you all for suggestions. What do you think I should do for March?

Oh, oh I have a good one: kill yourself.
Now here's her list of favorite names. I really give a fuck.

Caroline
Isabelle
Sabriel

Sabriel?
Also everyone knows the three best girl names are Cecilia, Edie and Chloe.

Leon
Aubrey
Owen
Haakon

Aubrey? Haakon?
Seriously, Haakon?
Sounds like someone I might be fighting in a Dawn of War game.
Pathfinder Haakon.

Tycho
Gabriel

Oh my God it is Dawn of War. Brother-Captain Erasmus Tycho of the Blood Angels III company and Captain Gabriel Angelos of the Blood Ravens III company.

Gareth

Isn't he from Mass Effect?
No wait that's Garrus, sorry.

Man, this was like THE week for wierd dreams.

Tuesday I ran into Cyndi Lauper on the street and started chatting with her.

Wierd. I guess I should cut her some slack because schools beat the whole "i before e except after c" into your head (the one grammar concept they still seem to give a fuck about) and it happens to be wrong on many common words. Bang-up job all around.

Thursday's dream was really unpleasant, especially at one point when the gang was trying to lure me out by threatening a little girl.

I had that dream once.
Then I realized I was a bear and mauled them to death.
Fuck yeah.

Now, FFVIII is my favorite video game barr none.

See? Only annoying cunts even like Final Fantasy VIII.

It is difficult to explain just how important it is to me, and how much impact it had on me when I was growing up. It is to me what FFVII is to everyone else.

No fuck that noise: Final Fantasy Tactics is clearly the greatest Final Fantasy ever made and if you disagree you are provably wrong.
Shame about all that other shit it spawned.
I kid, XII was pretty good. Of course it didn't have a quarter of the plot Tactics had.
Oh and the characters weren't nearly as deep or compelling.
Oh and the music kind of sucked.
Oh and it played like a watered down version of XI-- wait, why do I play these games? I should just replay Tactics.

And for quite awhile now I have secretly known I want to dance to "Waltz for the Moon" at my wedding, should I ever have one. Well, as I watched everyone dancing, to that song, in that setting, I was so moved I had to blink away tears.

Hurrrrrrrr
Stand back, pussies, and get ready for some real music.
You could sit back and sip brandy or some classy shit while this is playing.

Last night I decided on my New Year's Resolutions.
1. Live posatively.

1a. Learn to spell "positively" (brotip: there's no 'a' in it)

7. Improve my looks. (Lose weight. Get contacts. Decide on hair style.)

8. Get a good, regular job.

9. Start lolita video blog.

>Lolita video blog
Pretty sure that's illegal.
Well anyway I have shit to do (by which I mean play Pokemon. Fuck yes, Spring Break).

Sad, bro. Very sad.

I almost feel bad for today's specimen. He, like all furries, seems to wander around in a stupefied daze. It's an emotional state I can relate to (the latter part, not being a furry). I guess it's February weather?
Anyway our boy here has some kind of tragedy in his life (well at least one, as he is a furry) but it might be really hard to tell given the walls of letters he calls paragraphs.

I actively try and do a damn good job at not letting people walk all over me. I'm the first to tell someone to fuck off if I feel they are gonna take me for a ride but honestly when it comes to my friends or people I care about I tend to get walked on and just take it.

Soooooooo... You do or don't let people walk on you?
I guess he doesn't, except sometimes he does.
Personally if someone were to walk on me I'd try first to discern why I'm laying in a potential path of foot traffic then try to either move or tell the person not to step on my dick, but that's just me.

the last few years i've been a total scrooge or however the fuck you spell it about christmas and the newyears and all the other holidays (thanksgiving too).

I don't think that's how that word works but okay. Also I like how he says OR HOWEVER THE FUCK YOU SPELL IT and then proceeds to spell the word correctly. Someone should really consider inventing an online dictionary or something because that would be really handy. If you weren't sure about a word you could just open up another window and hammer that bitch in and wham, there's your answer.
Shit if these internet people really got their shit together they could work out some sort of tab index system so you could just click on the tab and open multiple websites in the same window. You could just have that dictionary in the background while you're making a post so you don't look like a complete illiterate.
Goddamn I'm full of good ideas.

i'm getting really tired of them really fast i just went in an emotional backflip in the last ten minutes.

The title of the post is "my actual bloodline family" but I'm not really sure that helps in understanding this Toyota of a sentence (timely reference). Get it, because Toyotas can't stop and it's a run on?
Hell yeah.

My grandfather called me and started screaming at me saying i stole...his mittens...two years ago...fucking seriously.

So tell him you didn't steal them?

First off two years ago i'dve never been interested in some fuckn mittens and i'm still not and for me to steal mittens when i have my $180 boardin gloves is retarded in and of itself and nobody can dig under my skin like my family with their words so i'm goddamn enraged at this point like i threw my phone had to move the glasses away from me chainsmoke two cigarettes and take a shower only to get out and find that i have a new voice mail not five minutes after he called me acusing me of being a thief and a liar he left me a message saynig he found his gloves and he wants me to call back and let him apologize.

Wow it's like John Milton wrote this only suddenly he was struck full retard or something (John Milton was a pro of writing really, really long sentences with parenthetical asides in digressions kind of like what I do sometimes).
Now there's a post about his brother dying of brain cancer (perhaps it runs in the family, because I'm pretty sure a cancer claimed our boy here's brain a long time ago and he kept running somehow, like a computer without a hard drive [that doesn't make a lot of sense]).

This year i'm going to be at rainfurrest on my birthday

Stop. "Rainfurrest"?

o here's hopin i don't turn into a big pile of depressed on my birthday at a con and i actually make it so that i have one more day in september thats awesome, filled with friends laughter maybe the drink *coughawesomesexcough* and good times for everyone

Furrest--
ಠ_ಠ

y'know i used to believe that people were makin shit up when they said shit like "they have a smile that lights up my world". I thought it was all smoke and mirrors and stuff. I used to think they were all crazy when they talked about how just the though of someone could bring their worst mood and make it do a 180. I never quite figured out how a smile so genuine could come from something as simple as a text or a song could crawl across thier face, or how somethin even smaller can put someone in bliss.

What?

free from everything pain, worries, sorrow. how someone completely analytical and contemplative can just not be able to do it anymore on someone. It never occoured to me as a possibility that the world could change and almost stop to become just that much brighter with a person. I donno maybe i'm crushin'.

MAYBE, I DON'T KNOW. No really. I don't know. I have no clue what the fuck you're rambling about.

Maybe it's more. I sometimes wonder if i'm enough to chase.

Huh, comparing love to a chase, what does this remind me of--

Other times it's like butterflies in my torso tell me to run as fast as i can until i catch. I don't know. I used to think. I never quite figured. I used to believe. There is only really one constant in this whole mess of some sort of things. Damn do i love that fuckn' smile

IN TOUCH WITH THE GROUND
I'M ON THE HUNT I'M AFTER YOU
SMELL LIKE I SOUND
I'M LOST IN A CROWD
AND I'M HUNGRY LIKE THE WOLF
STRADDE THE LINE
IN DISCORD AND RHYME
I'M ON THE HUNT, I'M AFTER YOU
I guess that's more of a hunt than a chase, but same shit.

i've been reflecting alot lately and i'm gonna post things about me here that follow the 7 sins i'm not a religious person but these "sins" intrigue me to no end and i find each and every one of them in me in some way and how i'm going about in life trying to fix them (yes i'm bitching this whole journal)

I, too, am interested in the notion of sin and Dante's Divine Comedy is one of my favorite writings of all time so I'm very interested in your no doubt poorly-thought out, poorly-worded diarrhea of a post on the subject of the Seven Deadly Sins. I especially like the promise that he'll be "bitching this whole journal". very promising.

This is one i've recently gotten in check with the help of my room mate and his mother i've seen the joy of giving and i'm addicted to it. i'll buy the whole shop at work doughnuts i'll lend money (sometimes that i don't have) to someone who desperately needs it and i don't really ask for it back i tell

Okay I have no idea what the fuck he's talking about pretty much from the beginning. He seems to be implying he lent money without expecting it to be repaid at all and because of that he's greedy.
I don't think that's how greed works?
Greed is usually being particularly miserly or unreasonably attached to money. Dante divided this into two categories, the miserly and the prodigal, and they forever sat in these stone half pipe contraptions and wheeled giant boulders at each other only to crash in the middle and repeat the process over.
Sort of like that level of Crash Bandicoot like that where you had to jump between the circle cut out in the middle, but I think that might have been a coincidence.
I think Dante was inspired by the myth of Sisyphus.

Awesome people awesome friends FC and the music spun in the rooms *jizzed in my pants* Rush Tek and Statik jeeze that was sikk!

...

OH NO WHAT DO I DO

OH NO
OH NO
TWO BLOGS AT THE SAME TIME WHAT DO I DO?
NOW I HAVE TO READ WORDS!
Actually, no, turns out one is really short. Also it's about being anorexic which I think I just did a review of one of those a few weeks ago (and a couple more before that) so let's depart from that topic for a little bit.
Instead let's get an exercise in the greatest punctuation of all time: the ellipsis.

This weekend was ok,I was ill all day sat.but got up sunday not feeling great but the best in days.

Speaking of "no space between your punctuation marks" did you know in Japanese you don't need to put a space because it's already included after each punctuation mark? Pretty handy, that.
Of course that doesn't really make up for typing in Japanese being a general flowchart nightmare but still, it is pretty cool.

I went to the market sunday afternoon,hoping of course the tax check would be there is was not of course!That it wasn't beating me to the bank.I had to stop at cfair for the paper which I forgot,and cigs.Since topps is taking over.......they aren't ordering much.....out of cigs.So,I get to the fair and going in I spy something that looked like a sack!There is 2 older women in front of me ......they were in a dead time........they go and I go out and bent down felt it and snatched it up.I guess it gives validation to.........ask and you shall receive!

I have no idea what she's trying to say here, but if I had to hazard a guess I'd say she went to a drugstore that's being taken over by Topps (presumably not the baseball card company) and then she found a backpack someone left and instead of being a good Samaritan and turning the item over to lost and found or something she instead decided to keep the bag, citing the old axiom "ask and you shall receive" which I'm pretty sure was about Christfag shit and not stealing, but I don't really know.
So already our girl is of questionable moral repute, but that may just be the sign of a complex character and not some self-centered cunt (har har har).

I was gigling all the way home....I never find anything.....a quarter here and there few ...."heads up''pennies!But nothing ever of any mention.So,I was most happy!I felt bad about dude who lost it,but my gain for once.

She felt bad for the dude who lost it, despite the fact that she stole it.
There's a word for this, I can't really seem to recall what it is-- oh that's right, I remember now.
Now her post decays into random words. At one point she says "tracker and tailor" and I'm almost positive she means "tractor trailer".
Wow I picked a bad blog to review. I know I'm supposed to be funny and make jokes and shit but I'm so mystified by everything she types I feel I have to report back here and translate it just to reaffirm to myself I even understand what's happening.

It was long and boring......the weekend.Saturday I was just exhausted after jaenelle.I went to bed early.Him and jen were going to bed when I was getting up!Tell ya what kind of day sunday was?I cooked a pot roast and did laundry.Went for the paper.Who else was gonna?Several times a day I am reminded of why I hate it here!

See what I mean? What the fuck, man?

Here ya go ........ready?

Wait let me gird my loins like some kind of Gaul-- okay, go for it.

He lost the cash!That fucking,stingy,self centered jackass hasn't lost money in 20 years!All of a sudden now?

I should have known..........He went to town at 12;15......he got back here 2;15...........with creamer,sugar,toilet paper,a pack of cigs!
I didn't eat yesterday because we had no tp.Today I was looking forward to eating something,we got next to nothing....and definately nothing that won't make me shit!!!!!!Nope......nothing to drink,or eat!!!!!!

I don't know what to say, honest to God. You didn't eat because you had no toilet paper?
... Get some?

He says I don't know how I am getting home.I was like what do you want?I can't cancel jen's appt tomorrow,I got no cell min!You tell her she can't go!I am not...............this is not my fuck up!

Yeah, you tell it sister!

Monday................doctor tomorrow for jen.....a ride to edn.Hope weather is good by mid morning.Monday music mania,no house or men,I seriously have to get some of that crap out of the tivo,and on discs....got my own bugs bunny...just got to get to a cd.

Anyone know what the fuck?
I'd like to know, actually.
Apparently Jen has a doctor's appointment Monday (also tomorrow? I don't know. It was posted on a Thursday). And then we have Music Mania (I don't know) and no house or men (so playing outside I suppose) and she has to get "that crap out of the tivo and on discs" followed by "having her own Bugs Bunny" (???) and then that last part.
Wait, no, I have the perfect reaction to this. I saved this a long time ago and I never thought I'd get a chance to use it, but finally its time is here:
Motivating quote from Oscar Gamble himself.

He's got most of the symptoms.........now we are in mania(depression)

...
Wow, that's really strange. Can you be manic and depressive at the same time? That's like being hot and cold at the same time.
Well my darlings as fun as it is reading this (about as fun as the time I wracked myself on my bike's handle bars [long story]) I have to read Comus and work on getting a Gyarados (both lofty goals). Gyarados breeding opens with a delay of 607, pretty much the worst delay there is, so good luck to me~

Ha, ha oh wow

I can say, without a doubt, this man has the largest ego of any blogger I've seen, and that's saying something. "i became what i am today. which is one of the best writers ALIVE, not AROUND," spake he, the modern Orpheus, the modern Orpheus who fails to capitalize a proper noun or the first word of a sentence. Well, I for one am impressed.
So let's get our troll faces on right and proper and watch out for the cleansing bolts of Nemesis, for surely if she punishes those with hubris, this man is undone.

i started writing in early highschool and started calling myself a writer in late highschool. and i was good, even then.

"High school" is two words. I mean you were good at writing by the rigorous standard known as high school so I'm probably a complete ass for second guessing you, but I'm just putting it out there.

in LA, i found my voice and got to say, with all truth and power, "daniel is one of the best writers around".

Daniel is an appropriate name for you, as Daniel is one of the authors of the Gospels, widely considered the finest (ha, ha) example of literature the world has ever known.
The only way this could be better is if your last name was "Homer" or something.
Daniel Homer. Why not?

i would read every week in public and couldn't find a job because i was always writing. because of the world around me, i became what i am today.

This is a logical fallacy if I've ever heard one: "I write a lot so I therefore must be a writer," just like a man who buys a roll of stamps is not a stamp collector, or a man who gets a handful of change back from the bank is not a numismatist, just by virtue of putting pen to paper (or typing words on a keyboard, whatever) you are not, per se, a writer.

which is one of the best writers ALIVE, not AROUND. face it, my pride is truth.

Face what? The man who can't identify a proper noun and uses the Bill O'Reilly-esque technique of capitalizing words for emphasis (because if it's in CAPS it must be IMPORTANT) is the best writer around (not of all time, because if we're counting time even your monstrous ego can't believe that).
So what if you're the best author of this age? This is a pathetic age. Oh wow, you're better than Stephen King and Dan Brown. Well fuck me, your mother must be so proud.

and it was a competition, in portland, because all my friends wanted to say the same thing and know it.

Oh, well if your friends think you're good, hey. Who am I to judge?

i work and take care of my wife and son and i sleep. this is not to diminish how perfect my life is, but i have become a recluse writer ( a term i came up with a few hours ago and have already used 3 times ).

I believe someone named, oh what was his name? "F. Scott Fitzgerald"? Something. Anyway, he called himself that in the 1930s. But I wouldn't worry about him. He's smalltime, he just wrote a book called, oh what was that quaint thing called? Oh, "The Great Gatsby". Don't worry, Daniel, it's just widely considered one of the finest American novels ever written. I'm sure it has nothing on you.

i write constantly, like all the years before, and have thousands of poems, hundreds of short stories, 2 finished novels, 3 works in progress, a handfull of stage plays and screen plays and i am only just turning 25 in a few days.

Cool story. Have anything I might have heard of? Don't be shy, either. I may seem like I stick with the classics (and that's because, by and large, I do) but I do know a bit about some modern writing.

it doesn't matter to me that on the streetcar home i wrote a 3 page poem about women dressed in jewelry of metal and the way that dancing is something like tangible.

A woman dressed in jewelry of metal (sounds awkward but all right). Sounds... Sounds... It sounds.

it doesn't matter to me that strangers will still stumble over my shitty deviantart writing and say that i changed them.

Ah, a Deviantardlet. I should have known. Well, Daniel, let's see this formidable talent.
Well I can't say it is often I fail at this, but I cannot find his Deviantart account. I'm a little surprised, too.

his first plane ride and my first vacation in years, plural.

Who gives a shit? You don't sound employed so what do you need a vacation from?
Oh here's proof he's the best writer alive (which, at last check, J.D. Salinger is still alive, so no):

this is
written on thighs
(inside)
in soft tongues
in crisp-edge teeth

Further proof poetry is just sentences with random line breaks.

written with
care
in every choice of
twenty six options
written with
consideration
in every flawed beat

>free verse
>beat
What.

(and it will draw from the willing a steady flow of sweet salty taste that lingers on lips and coats the throat for future lookings-back)

palms pull
knees apart
fingers place themselves
in their
proper locations

Gee, I wonder what this is about? He's such an artisan I just plain can't tell! His euphemism is so strong this could quite literally be about anything, not the least of which is sex!

there is this girl
(he says out loud)
in such fashionable disrepair
who
surrounds herself
in the diseased arts
in a culture defined
by feeling every moment as
a climax
tangible as coarse tangerine skin

"There is this girl," he said, out loud, in the way no real person does. Wow this goes on for several stanzas longer, but my eyes seem to be unconsciously crossing whenever I have to look back at this page so I think I better stop before permanent injury sets in.

i watch tv again, which bothers me sometimes because going from being raised by the thing to living for years without even a decent radio, you definitely understand the concept of media as nothing but a great social evil.

The media is evil? You do know if you were a published author (which you aren't, nor will you ever be) you would be part of the media, right?

i pride myself on being strong. mental, physical and emotional strength is something that i have always maintained at an above average level.

Is there any task you can't perform at an above average level? I'd hazard your answer would be this: "no".

but still. i am not weak.

Emotionally strong. Then you shouldn't have a problem if I post a link to this post? I mean, being emotionally strong, you should be able to shrug this right the fuck off, am I right?

my grammar is shit right now. always.

Hey just helping a bro out in his time of need.

i don't see the point in having people forgive me, but i want forgiveness.

Then you shall go wanting. Forgiveness is earned, not given out freely.
How do you earn it? Stop being a douchecunt.

but i want to tell every single person on my mind that i am not who i once was. i am a good man.

i am a good man.

You're a monstrous egotist and I have a feeling you burden your poor wife with your overbearing, heavy-handed ways. I'm sure you're also an enormous hypocrite, but I can't know this. Your ego, however, is manifest.
When someone says "I am a good man", usually the accompany this with "think", as in, "I think I'm a good person", or put a wishful spin on it, like "I'd like to think I'm a good man", but you, you're assured you're a good man. And by what? What do you have to show that you're a good man? You're good at writing (which is a lie that only you believe at this point I'm sure), but how does that make you a good person? Short answer: It doesn't. You have no reason to believe you're a good person. You pay your taxes, you treat your wife well, you take care of your son? Well whoop-de-shit, you're doing what you're supposed to do.
Good grief.
I rarely genuinely dislike these people, but I can say I genuinely do not like Daniel.
Go fuck yourself, Daniel.

Herp Derp

Captain of philosophy and critical thinking: Dustin. His Socratic wisdom is truly a testament to our times, and it is a great boon to our age that he is alive and among us.
If Newton stood on the shoulders of giants then Dustin stands on the shoulders of giants who are themselves standing on the shoulders of giants, who are standing on the shoulders of the hundred-handed ones themselves.
His blog is entitled "Like bringing a knife to a gun fight" or, alternatively, "I like balls" the latter of which is oddly appropriate, because as we all know, all men with blogs are gay.
First thing you will undoubtedly notice is his layout, which is great. I mean really great. Four words per line is fucking awesome. In a world of wide screen monitors it's nice to see Dustin is looking out for the man reading this on his PSP or perhaps his iPhone. Thank you, Dustin. Ever thoughtful.

It's been a month since Dr. George Tiller, a doctor who performed late-term abortions, was murdered.

Bro didn't you hear? Michael Jackson, Billy Mays and about a thousand other people died (felled by the silvery darts of Phoebus Apollo I should think). Talking about Dr. George Tiller is so last week.

I've been meaning to write something about it since then but just haven't had the time to collect my thoughts on the matter and think of something to say.

It's understandable. A man of such titanic intellect would need a lot of time to gather his undoubtedly multitudinous thoughts.

I think the incident provides an opportunity to discuss religion and the intolerance it is capable (and a lot of times does) of breeding.

Religion breeds intolerance? I've never heard this before. You're going to need a ton of proof to back this up.

I think it's a good opportunity for my religious friends to reflect on their beliefs and take note of the effect their world-view of choice can have on people.

There's definitely no hole in this logic your friends could find. Definitely nothing like "I'm a Christian and I'd never murder an abortion doctor," or "just because there is one lunatic on the fringes of Christianity doesn't mean all, or even a majority, of Christians would murder someone."

If you don't get your faith in God from the Bible, where else could you possibly get it from?

This just in: Christianity confirmed as the only religion in the world (brotip: when Christians call it the "one true religion" I don't think the emphasis is on "one").

There's no doubt that the Bible does condemn homosexuality to death

Oh good grief. Who cares? Really, a bunch of bronze age barbarian desert people had problems with gays? This is hard to believe!
Now he immediately launches from the controversy of abortion to the controversy of drinking!
I, for one, support prohibition because it is my goal in life to run and own a speakeasy.

I think alcohol is a stupid drug. Maybe I'm biased because of my experiences with it, but I don't see a whole lot of positive aspects to drinking.

"It makes you feel good." I have you there, don't I?

"Why's there a bullet hole through the window that was left by a shotgun shell? Oh, you were drunk and fighting and decided to load the shotgun, got it. Hey, why'd the cops get called here the other night? Oh you guys were drunk and fighting and someone pulled a knife out, got it. Hey, why'd you freak out last night and attack me in my room? Oh, because you were drunk and having a bad night, got it."

>shotgun
>bullet hole
>glass
Sure is don't know how guns or glass works in this blog.

I'm far from being the militant straight edge kid I was 2 years ago, but I have no tolerance for ignorance.

But apparently a lot for hypocrisy.

Feeling numb and feeling good.

brb Comfortably Numb

Future Markets, Holy Wars
Been tried ten thousand times before
If you think that God is keeping score, Hooray!

Shut up I'm coming to the good part now.
Fuck yes guitar solo.

The imminent and the aftermath
Draw another bloody bath to drain
Like the polar icecaps centrifuge (Oh Allah! Oh Jesus please!)

Jesus Christ all mighty I'd drink if I had to be around you too.

Fuck paying 14 dollars for for 50 blank cds that don't work on my computer.

Ha, ha you bought DVDs without a DVD burner get a computer made after 1999.

I read books, which I especially enjoy because I'm an anti-social, lonely guy with an insatiable epistemic hunger, and they seem to make sense.

>epistemic hunger
wow what a douchecunt. (epistemic comes from the word "epistemology" which is literally the study of words for those of you not versed in douchebag like myself).

I finish a book, and as long as I comprehend it correctly

>comprehend correctly
>implying there's an external force guiding comprehension
Well that's it for our douchecunt of today, Friday, July 3, 2009. His blog actually continues but I don't feel like scrolling 5 miles through 3 word lines to discover more of his deep thoughts and douchebaggery.

They should call you Shakespeare

BECAUSE YOU SURE WRITE A LOT OF DRAMA. Shakespeare actually wrote more comedies than tragedies no one cares. Actually if we're being technical comedy is a form of drama, but whatever, as I said no one actually cares.
There so now that I killed the official lamest joke I've ever told, here we are.

Don't worry, love. I'm going to throw up, I'm going to clear out my digestive tract, I'm going to make myself pure and everything will be all right. And I'll hear the birds chirp and see the sun rise (maybe), hug Mike really tight and everything will be all right.

Gross. Keep away from me, please.

No. What am I kidding myself? What is bothering me? What, in all honesty, could I vomit up to make this better?

Your-- wait, no, no I lost it. I don't know.

My mortality? Yes. I'm attempting in vain to vomit up my own mortality.

Fuck I was going to say "your asshole" then I realized that didn't actually make a lot of sense, but it sure as fuck made more sense than your dumbass answer. I need to have more confidence.

Because I don't know how to fix this. We aren't immortal. Not in the way we'd like to be.

I'm fine with being mortal. You're the one with a problem. Ever run across an immortal in a book or on TV that wasn't an asshole? I rest my case.

Because one day we all will die and this all will end and everything I do in life will go away forever.

Ubi sunt qui ante nos fuerunt? as they say.

However, maybe I'll be okay with being mortal. Someday. Maybe, like I grew out of teenagedom, I'll learn to grow out of my fear of death. BUT. In order to get there, I've got to stop treating. My body. LIKE SHIT. In order to get to that age!

Or you could keep doing what you're doing and SURPRISE HEART ATTACK WHEN YOU'RE FIFTY. LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON. TIMELY REFERENCE.

Hey you. Yeah. Yeah you. Looking for a good time?

Not from you, Vomitus Timormortalis. (I don't even know what that means).

Yeah, I bet you do. You want some of this?

I just said no, jeez.

This hula hoop?

So randum xD

With all the social anxiety that I've had my entire fucking life that's led me to this miserable position, Mike says I may qualify for a prescription for Xanax.

Practically everyone qualifies for a Xanax prescription. Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should.
On the other hand Xanax does kick ass, even if it is a bit if a pussy drug. I think it's a perfect fit for you, pusscakes :3
Ah there's a picture of you shoving your big fat face into some snack food. Enjoying that while your heart becomes further choked with plaque? One day those valves will slam shut and the end~ no I'm just trying to scare you.
But seriously keep eating those "Cheddar Bunnies" and see where you end up.
Oh that's your friend.
Well my point still stands.

Life is fucking awesome

I'm sorry but this is a little weird to be reading after you just had a three entry meltdown about I'M GOING TO DIE ONE DAY IN THE FUTURE MY IMMEDIATE LIFE IS THEREFORE MEANINGLESS! bullshit. Can you pick one stance, please? What is life, pointless or awesome? I'd trust you to develop some sort of adult perspective like "maybe it's both" or "maybe things aren't quite as black and white as they seem" but then again this is a Livejournal user I'm talking about.

You know you're broke when you have to pass up trips to Hall Road area in favor of being able to get to an unpaid film job that may get you some in's in the LA industry next week.

There's a huge difference between "may" and "near impossibility".

(35$ WILL last me thru next week! I am getting really good at this game. Then I have a bit more work with Amir next week to get me until a POSSIBLE job? Maybe? We can hope?)

"We" sure can hope, but meanwhile you're still dirtbag poor, poorfag.

Well. Hey. At least I have friends. Even if I can't afford to see them.

Ha, ha oh you card. SEEING THE SILVER LINING IN EVERYTHING, EH? Well hey, how's this for a silver lining? If you get really desperate you can always kill your friends, eat their meat, tan their skin for leather and suck the marrow right out of their bones.
That's your real ticket to fame, kid. Become a notorious serial killer.

Trying to keep cool and pretend that I've been on thousands of film sets and that dealing with people on the West Coast is nothing new.

Always a good way to get a job. Pretend to be a smartass know-it-all.

Completely geeked out. I almost can't handle myself.

That means she's on coke, people. I know all about 80s West Coast DEVIANT lingo.

HEY GUYS! LET'S DO LUNCH AND TALK ON CELL PHONES AND MAKE MOVIES AND SHIT LIKE THE REAL HOLLYWOOD TYPES DO!

A PERSON TALKING ON A CELLPHONE? THAT COULD ONLY BE A HOLLYWOOD PRODUCER!

Suddenly aware of my own mortality.

Oh hi, back to this.
I can't say I missed it, no.

Feeling like I could die any second, standing at the gasoline pump just waiting for it to explode, for the bullet to fly through my window, for the car to run me down.

THAT'S BECAUSE YOU COULD DIE AT ANY MINUTE. LITERALLY. So what do you do? You lockdown like a real pussy. That's your problem, kid. That's why you'll never make anything of yourself. YOU DON'T HAVE THE GUTS.

Looking at the world through a critical eye and feeling like everything is pointless and we're all just waiting to die.

Holy fuck what a circlejerk of reasoning. I could (focus on could) die at any minute, therefore life is meaningless. Life is meaningless because I could die at any minute. I could die at any minute, so life is mean--

FUCK IT! I'm breathing. Life is good. GOTTA RUN!

:3c back to this, I see.

Whenever Mike does something cool, (like getting free internet in our house through all sorts of networking shit I don't understand) he goes out and smokes a cigarette.

Read: Mike connected to a neighbor's network. Very naughty, Mike. That's a crime, I think. Then you let your girlfriend blab about it on the internet. Very not smart, Mike.

What a bad ass.

Yeah I totally connected to that unprotected wireless network. I totally did that. Don't mind me, I'm just like Angelina Jolie from that movie Hackers. Way to go Mike, you badass. I know who's getting some tonight. It's you, you stud.

I love city streets in the summer. This is all I will say.

>This is all I will say (as if this is delicate information)
>post continues for 3 paragraphs
hmm.

I really hate that phrase, "Better to be safe than sorry."

Safety in the long run is no safer than exposure. I'd rather progress.

That-- doesn't even really make sense but whatever.
EVEN SAFETY ISN'T SAFE. SHIT, MAN.
SO FUCKING HEAVY.
Well this is a bunch of bullshit GOOD BYE~

AM I KAWAII? UNGUU~

No. No you are not.
So there's this cunt, yeah, and her Livejournal name is kawaii_pocky (seriously). I picked her out today because I was watching American Idol last night (my testicles retreated into my abdomen where they remain to this very minute, thanks for asking) and I saw this guy who I can only describe as "an super faggot". His name is Adam Lambert, and he sings like a banshee. So when I saw his picture today on Livejournal I said "hey that guy looks familiar" and here we are.

So i was watching American Idol with my mom yesterday...

Yeah that's what I was doing too. Captain Cool I am.

and she started freaking out about this guy named Adam Lambert

Here's where we part company, because I think the collective reaction of my mom and me looked something like this:

Soo as i was saying, my mom was freaking out about him and i said that "I've heard a better voice", and she said i was lying!! Then she was all like "name a couple",

I have a few: every human being ever.
I'm even including George Thorogood and Bruce Sprinsteen in that list, that's how shitty this was.
... Okay maybe not as bad as Springsteen, but it's pretty close. They could be father and (gay) son.

so of coarse my jrock senses kicked in and i said "Kyo, Ruki, Hyde, Byou, Miku, etc etc.." and she was like
"who the hell are they?? Your dumb japanese singers??!"

Burn.

Thats when i really flipped out, im like "mom screw you and your gay ass Adam Lambert, even if he wins, im not going to hear about him let alone remember his name in a year!!"

Counter burn.

So then i just went upstairs and listened to some of my jrock albums. Blasting them actually, so my parents would compain that hey couldn't hear American Idol

:3 sounds like a pleasant family to be around. Incidentally I can't help but notice in your list of Japanese rock bands you forgot the one actually good band: B'z. Fuck year, they're touring with Aerosmith.

kk, so my dad and i were talking about my computer (he doesn't know its broken cuz he would flip shit), and he said that i might get his old computer...which would rock cuz it has SOO MUCH more memory, that i would use to put all my songs oh kehehehehe, soo yea but the problem is that it might not happen all right after i finish school (like a couple weeks), unlike if i get a new laptop (cuz i would get a new one like a couple days after..)

World's longest sentence. Also: interesting read. I really care about whatever the fuck it is I'm reading.

Hey everybody, recentally my computer broke. Yush Yush don't cry ( i did a little tho).

>Yush yush...
Hush hush
don't cry
Tongue-tied, I'm short of breath, don't even try
Try a little harder
Something's wrong, you're not naive, you must be strong
Ooh, baby, try
Hey girl, move a little closer.
You're
too shy, too shy, hush hush, eye to eye
Whoa she's prattling on about shit no one cares about and I got transported back to the 80s for a minute.
I'm sure that was completely unintentional on her part, too, because Kajagoogoo isn't one of her KAWAII JAPANESE SINGERS UNGUU
They are pretty fucking gay, though, so I'm sure she could get along well with them.

So i decided for this entry i would list the Top 10 songs i've been listening to this week!!

Let's play a fun game called "have you heard of this?"

10.
Kuso Breakin' Nou Breakin' Lilly - Maximum the Hormone

Nope.

9.
Vi-Vi-Vi - SuG

Nope.

8.
Summer Dive - AnCafe

... To make what would undoubtedly be a very long and tedious exercise slightly less long and tedious: 8-1: no.

*If you want one of these songs, ask me and i'll give you the link*

No thanks I'm listening to GUNS 'N' ROSES right now.

Hahaha, so a couple days ago i went to Newberry Comics at the mall and i got these really cool smoking rabbits and i just thought they were soo kawaii :3

Ha, ha, ha, no "kawaii :3" is what I do to mock your kind, you're not supposed to seriously do it.

Well, its raining outside, and im kinda bored LOL.

Anyone see a joke that would cause her to laugh? I'm not seeing it.

My other friend told me he keeps inscence in his pocket.. 0.o How weird is that??

Oh aren't you just the paragon of normalcy, miss "kawaii unguu :3 smoking rabbits kawaii!"
He probably keeps incense (as that is how it is spelled) in his pocket to keep the smell of pot covered.
Obviously.

There a really good band, that i've recentally heard of.

Nope. Not until you fix your grammar. I was about to say "if this was Japanese she'd have it fucking perfect" but I seriously doubt it.

OK, so well im going to Massachusettes this weekend and i need some new songs!! Yea even though i have songs i've never listened to on my ipod (lol)!

What.

Soo i really have nobody to talk to *cries*
lol

Shut up.
Oh, and this is the end of her blog.
Hooray, I'm finished!

Good Grief

Here we go.
I think you can see why I picked this blog from the opening title:

At least my vocabulary is expanding XD

lol xD die shittingly.

I find it hilarious that this entire Spring Break, I've been reading fanfics as if I needed them to survive.

Well at least you're amused by you, because I'm certainly not.

And I desperately want to learn Korean and Japanese now. Just ::flail:: I wish I had enough time to learn all the languages I want to in my lifetime.

Wow Korean and Japanese? That's one... TWO entire languages! This task is sheer madness!

One: my birthday is next week. Not during Spring Break but during school. Yippee.

I seem to recall thinking I had something to say here but I just sneezed five times in a row and I guess the pressure damaged my brain because I don't remember what I was thinking.

Yesterday, well two days ago since it's 12:48 am (OMG IT'S EASTER~), was Good Friday. Our youth group held a little pantomime show for the church.

I always suspected nothing interesting happened in church. Now I know.

Yesterday (Saturday), I spent the majority of the day just reading fics. I've really gotten into Jaechun. It's quickly becoming up there with Yoosu. I find it funny that I these pairings, which I strongly ship, contain Yoochun, even though he isn't my favorite. Yoosu is good for the fluff and the happiness; Jaechun is just amazing, it's always so deep and written so well, at least the ones I've read have been.

I don't know what half of these words mean.

went to go see Henry V with Wolak and a bunch of other people. It ws awesome! I thought it would be boring because it was a history but it was actually really funny.

>Shakespeare
>good
>funny

I got accepted into the National Honor Society after initially being rejected. And after I found out I was accepted and began walking back to my locker, I began to cry. Luckily, I stuffed my face in my locker. That, and the bell hadn't rung yet. I felt foolish.

PUSSY!

I mean shouldn't one be happy after they've been accepted into NHS? I kept silent. I didn't feel like explaining. I might tomorrow. I don't think they'll understand though.

Yes because you're sooooooooo complicated.

MY LOVE FOR DONG BANG IS TOO GREAT.
>My love for dong bang

And WHY DID THE AWESOMEST WRITER HAVE TO UPDATE NOW WHEN I HAVE TO GO TO SLEEP AND RIGHT WHEN I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF RE-READING SUB ROSA!

>awesomest
You're pushing it.

You're writing kicks ass.

Are you sure you're getting an A in AP Composition? It was a piss easy class but I think you still needed to know the difference between your and you're to pass.

My iPod and wallet were stolen ><>
You got caught cheating, don't add "liar" to your list of critical properties.

I really should start writing in here lol. But I don't know what to say T_T
I fail at keeping journals or anything.

You can put a period on "I fail" and the thought would be complete and accurate.

And I guess to meet other fangirls as spazzy as myself since my friends aren't as spazztastic as me xD

lol xD

OFF TO GO WATCH DONG BANG ON YOUTUBEZ! yay~

>watch dong bang on youtube
>watch dong bang
>watch dong
:3
And that's it. That's her entire blog. I thought there would be more, but mercifully there is not.
Well I'm off to finally succumb to my poisoning.

:|

this is one of THOSE blogs where I start thinking about what I could be doing instead of READING THIS GARBAGE. Let's keep this brief, okay.
Skipping the first post because quite frankly I don't give a shit if you ever play DDR again and I'm greeted with this travesty:

RITA.

WTF.

YOU JUST KICKED A BUNCH OF MONSTERS TO HELL IN THE SPAN OF ONE OVERLIMIT.

asdjkajdkajsd and now I understand why people said she was a godforsaken tank.

So. 'Effing. True.

All right, I guess welcome to your first RPG. Some characters take hits better than other characters so you typically want them to take hits for the people who would otherwise be taking them like bitches.
I know this is incredibly complex so if you need me to go back over this I'll be here.

Fuckadoodle. D: I misscalculated. Instead of getting payed 220$ per person, I'm only getting 80$, because it's a half session...

Good. You needed a good disappointment to knock you down a peg.

So lately I've been considering Otakon because silly kimmy_16 is going again, lucky girl, still don't know where that money comes from. And don't say work, I think you lie. D8< *sticks tongue out* And it's supposedly her last time going for a while, so I figure hey, this is my last chance.

>D8 *sticks tongue out*
I wish whoever you did that to could uppercut you through the internet right as your tongue is out. WATA.

But I got a job, thanks to my wonderful aunt, teaching how to draw anime and manga.

Wow you must be really talented because I know of people who have published comics who give lessons for free so you must be totally awesome. I bet your DA account would be really hard to find-- just kidding it's right here.
She's, ah, not bad I guess. Better than me but that's not saying very much at all~

Frig it's bothering me. We're down to freakin' 0.75 compared to the US and it's really, really not cool right now.

Yeah fuck you Canada go back to where you belong-- err.
Also you can say "fuck" on the internet. I don't think your mom is going to wash your mouth out with soap.

Life's not being nice to me right now. D<>
You know what that's saying, though, don't you? An hour of labor from an American is worth more than an hour of labor from a Canadian shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

Three months to Anime North. Five months to Otakuthon. Four costumes to make. D8

Would you stop it with the D8 and the D: and that shit? It took me a double take to realize D8 was supposed to be an emoticon and not some sort of bizarro Canadian V8 drink.
I know you have no real means to express yourself so you have to rely entirely on grunts and hand gestures but you're clearly a big girl now, with a job and school and shit so please try to express yourself accordingly.
Now there's a long post in shit English (on purpose, it's supposed to be "lol funny") about how much she hates (or "haets" as she spells it) Trauma Center on the DS, but I'm not going to quote that here because it can easily be summarized in just a few short words: girls playing video games.

EDIT: Don't have enough interfacing to start on Sheena's bow. D,: Nor do I have any white to do her armlets. Nor do I have the elastics for her bodysuit. Nor do I--oh wait, I can work on her boot covers.

On a topic unrelated from "subjects that I don't really understand nor do I give a shit" I've heard of this interfacing before, and it sounds like something that belongs on Space Marine armor.
Unfortunately it doesn't look anything at all like I'd expect.

Watched Fringe episode 13, lulz. It made me happy.

Oh it made you happy that's really--

I'm also going >:( because Time Hollow semi disappointed me. No, I enjoyed it. I thought it was really, really neat. It has a nice concept that was sometimes super mind fuckery for my head (which is a good thing). XD

Funny you should mention the >:c face because that's what I'm making at your stupid fucking blog.

And then I kicked his level 62 ass with my Yuri as level 58 so HA. Take that bitch.

Holy shit guys she beat someone four levels under her own! That... That's never happened before, I don't think.

I bought it and realized that it wasn't compatible with my computer anymore.

>not compatible with my computer
Let me guess, you bought a computer with Vista, don't actually know anything about computers and now let Vista run every aspect of your life?
One thing I'm noticing from her drawings (besides the obnoxiously bright colors, Jesus Christ you can tone some colors down. It won't kill you) is that all of the characters she has drawn, and I do mean all of them, have the exact same head shape. Male, female, young, adult, old-- same head shape.

So I watched Resident Evil Degeneration; you know, that cg RE movie that's actually about the game series? Not the spin-off crap?

Jesus fuck who cares? Resident Evil has arguably the dumbest plot to anything ever. Here's zombies, here's a gun with no bullets, go to this place. There it is. That's all it should be.

I've actually only played a little of RE4. D: Mainly because I'm a darn scaredy cat who goes frantic when I run out of ammunition.

Tee-hee.
Oh, so that's you, huh? You're kind of masculine. You know, like a ladybro.
Just saying.

XD Our anime club is kickass.

>anime club
>kickass

I have pwned ur rocksorx and nao you r working again.

Oh holy shit. No. No. Entry over.

:3

Today's finest is entitled "tossed into the deep oblivion". No caps. This title is appropriate, in fact, because that's precisely where it belongs. A deep, bottomless expanse of darkness where no one can find it. Obviously that isn't where it is because I fucking found it.

Hmm, I just realized it's friday the 13th. Interesting. In Febuary is was all the "fab" to talk about the "Bad Luck Day." Anywho...

I like how people use "interesting" to perforate any silence now. It doesn't matter if it's actually interesting or not.
Also you're on notice for "anywho". Don't think that escaped me.

Mom woke me up at 730 this morning because I'm stupid and can't hear a blasting alarm clock that's right by my ear. Yes, I'm dead when I sleep. People say I could pass off as a vampire or a zombie.

Wow that's--

Pretty funny, ne?

>ne

So anywho, I got ready and we left by 8. ((Doesn't take me too long to get ready...))

THAT'S YOUR SECOND ANYWHO. I'M WATCHING.

We drive an hour to our destination: GoodWill. Yup, ya read right. I rarely have the luxury of shopping at WalMart.

>shopping at Wal-Mart
>luxury

Does living have any purpose when someone close to you passes away?

Nope, better kill yourself.
Throw yourself on his or her funeral pyre. Do it.

Defeated in two world wars, but due to a few mistakes.

Yeah Hitler only made a couple mistakes in World War II. Otherwise he was strategically flawless.
Brotip from the future: when fighting a two front war, don't repeat the same mistake (almost to the detail) Napoleon and Alexander the Great did.

Germany kicks ass with its badass guns.

Yeah they sure did kick ass in both World Wars-- oh wait.

Yup, ya read right. I'm going to be posting 20 of my favorite techno/ trance/ electronica/ etc. songs here.

Wow that sounds really-- next post.

No this isn't something about the most amazingest mangaka of the manga Air Gear.

>amazingest
>mangaka
Holy shit I'm raging.
I like how when she posts her top 20 trance songs or whatever the fuck she says "YOU HEARD RIGHT MOTHERFUCK" like she's doing a favor for me. Bitch, by your own admission you have 1000 techno songs on your iPod, so clearly the concept of quality control is beyond you.

This is about a comment I was told a while ago.

All right I'm going to post the comment she received but I'm omitting a ton of ellipsis from her post for the sake of my own sanity, but just imagine this comment a thousand times more obnoxious than it already is.

Ends up I have anime boobs. Lovely.

Which is typically very large and perky, but I bet you just have fat girl boobs.
Enjoy your sag.

So now I have an anime shaped face, anime boobs, anime haircut....And I kept saying that anime/ manga would remain my addiction as long as it doesn't become me. Well I didn't intend for the facial structure, the figure, or the resemblance of the hair...it just happened.

Yeah you look just like fucking Sailor Moon you freak.
Now she's posting a picture she took of a game she's playing on an emulator but she didn't bother cropping out her desktop in the background so I didn't bother looking at it (hint: there's a program that comes with Windows that can do this).

5.would you rather live on the moon or mars ?
The Mooooooooooooooooooon!

Good, you'd fucking die there.
Well you'd die on Mars, too, so either way I win.

6.if they could send one man to the moon, why can't they send them all ?

I'm going to assume this is supposed to be "lol randum xD" humor and not literal.

11.do you burp like a man ?
HAHAHAHA The house rattles when I burp!

Further proof she's fat.
I know that doesn't really make any rational sense but just roll with it.

9. What is your favorite literature genre?
historical fiction or fiction.

>genre
>fiction
You do know fiction is a rhetorical mode and not an actual genre, right?
A genre is a loose sorting, so like comedy/tragedy, then the comedic category has its own genres, like comedy of manners, burlesque, slapstick, lolrandumxD, etc.

14. Which languages do you wish you spoke?
I speak mostly English- duh- and Japanese (not fluent), but I'm learning French, Spanish, Sign Language, Korean, etc...

No, stupid, the question was "which languages do you wish you spoke?" not "which languages do you know words from?"
Although admittedly the question is set up rather awkwardly, implying you wish you could have spoken them at one time but can no longer, but whatever.

1) I'm very shy around people, until I get to know them. That's when things go downhill cause most people find me annoying.

No! You, annoying?
Also how many times does this make it that these... These... ASSHOLES admit they're so lolrandumbxD to the point of being annoying? It has to be at least the fifth time I've seen it. People, if you know you're annoying, take steps to correct it.
I know it's not as much fun as going on about the cake being a lie or whatever it is you people say these days, but I'd wager once you got over it you'd realize you're being a cliche, unfunny, obnoxious cunt.
I had no idea how right I was when I said this blog belonged in a bottomless pit where no one could find it.
Jesus Christ.

Oh Boy.

So apparently today was class change for a lot of high schools, so there's a ton of entries about WELL NEW CLASSES SUCK AND EVERYONE HATES ME WOE BETIDES ME. Which is just great and makes for interesting reading, too. If, for some insane reason, you ever miss high school, just read one of these fuckers and I guarantee your first thought will be "goddamn high school sucked." Not only for the actual content (or lack thereof) but for the dumbasses that went there with you. Oh sure you might end up with maybe five or ten people you stay in contact with after you graduate, but likely several hundred to a few thousand went to the same school you did, so that should tell you something about the ratio of people worth knowing in the real world.
Oh but I digress, today's high school know-it-all.

today was not bad school wise. :)

Oh fuck me different style font. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD THIS IS TO FIX?

first hour I have history with smith :) woohoo. I sit at the same table with shelby, so that'll be fun.

What? Oh, sorry, I already forgot about this. I was looking out the window.

the way my schedule worked this tri was kinda funny.

Ha, ha your school has trimesters you suck.

hours 2 and 5 are my worst/most hated subject, chemistry and history.

Give up on college then, because if there is a universal subject outside of English, history or chemistry would be it.

math itself is still my favorite. the one thing I can count on to be at least kind of good at.

Motherfuck what kind of bizarro earth do you live on? You like math, you have a free hour in school?
This must be what Europe is like.
Oh shit it's time for shitty poetry. For someone who hates English I'M SURPRISED YOU DO THIS TO ME.

I don't even know
I've never felt this way before
but with someone like you, it makes sense.

Wow that's really-- next post.

I put commas and periods sometimes at random spots just because that's how it would sound if I were saying it out loud...even though i know that it probably looks dumb. whatever.

Writing is not like speaking. Also that's a poor excuse "WELL THAT'S HOW I'D TALK" well fuck you, you don't spell everything like you talk so you're a fucking two faced whore. You can't have this both ways.

I'm always staring at the clock. always, always, always. at school, AT WORK, with friends, with boyfriend. anywhere I am I'm looking at the time. I'm waiting for time to pass, I'm wishing it would slow down. wanting something other than what is... I need to quit it.

Hmm. I always hated dopey high school philosophers like you. Here's what you need to do, kid: listen to a song. It's called "Time" and it's by Pink Floyd. I think that'll offer some perspective on your conundrum.

I would love to sit here and talk about myself and my weekend, but I should probably open my backpack.. :) hahaha.

No, stop! You, talking about yourself!?

I looked over my wrong ansers and what the right ones were.

Answers*. Silent 'w', brosef. Also an easier way to express this exact idea would be "I corrected my exam."

the first time I got too ancy and thought about other things and just waiting for it to be over with.

Antsy*. Also what's this business about focusing and staying on task, but earlier you said you can't care too much? Which is it? Forcing yourself to focus doesn't sound like not giving a shit to me.

I suck. haha.

Holy shit for once I can agree with something written in a blog not my own.

sometimes I wonder why they need me at all..

Oh, well, scary thought, 17 year old high school senior: they don't. If you died tomorrow, the world would move on without you. You would become a distant memory to your friends, and your family would recover.
Even if they never did, ultimately they, too, would die, and there would be no one to carry on your memory.
Face it, in the ever present now, you (and everyone, for that matter) wouldn't measure as even a blip on the radar. So just do whatever you want and stop worrying about time and shit so much. Go, take your ACT, do well and be happy. Stop posting on Livejournal too, for Christ's sake.

eek. I don't like dreams when they make me nervous. when they're about time crunch.

Derp I don't like dreams when they're scary derp.

I am tired. and lame. haha. my mother really shouldn't let me just stay home from school... I should have gone today but I didn't just because I feel a little crappy and have a lot of homework I didn't want to do last night... haha.

I hate the way you type, goddamn.
Or, no, wait, let me express this in terms you'd understand: I... Hate the way... You type... haha.

it's about positivity, focus, time management, and remembering what's important. I just need to stay above water.. do as well as I can, and be okay with that.

Yes, the real world is going to reward you for doing your best, even if your best is not adequate. You are in for a rude, rude awakening.

nobody is alone. sometimes we can't completely relate, but that still doesn't mean anybody is alone. ever.

I'm telling you, Pink Flyod's Time. That was the shit.

don’t tell your secrets to anyone
because ideas are vulnerable

Well you were right about not telling secrets to anyone, but dead wrong about the reason. The simple reason is a secret told is a secret no longer.

I got my F up to a C in chemistry, but that's just mostly because barton takes forever to put things in the grade book... oh well. otherwise I have all B's.

And that is satisfactory, and that is passing.

I mean, I have an F in forsberg but that's because I have a 60 point test he put in as missing even though I was there for it...

I don't know how school works where you go, but by the end of the semester in any class I've ever taken a 60 point test wouldn't even swing you a letter grade.

hopefully he'll fix that soon. it's sad that last year I could get A honor roll and this year I can barely scrape by with B... but, that's not the most important thing in life.

Okay I think you missed the point of my earlier lecture on time and not giving a shit: this is the kind of thing you should give a shit about, because in the grand scheme of your life, passing high school would be important.

SO. something to think about... next time you're having a bad day just think "oh, today kind of sucks, but at least I have opposable thumbs!" hahah.

I still don't get this logic.
Well this is getting boring so I'm going to stop here I think~

Your a Fagort

Okay does everyone have their codebreaker hats on? I have my Film Noir trench coat on, my fedora and the Enigma Machine is up and tapping away at this recent Nazi code.

Matt, all kids I think are cute are named Matt.

The meaning of this sentence is clear, but note the complexity of its structure. There's no call for this. It slowly becomes confusing and her meaning lost in words.

2. He walks in with a black pea coat on, i walk in wit a black pea coat.

Know how I'd write this sentence? "We wore the same coat" which tells me either this is fine unisex fashion or he's wearing a girl's coat (based on how I've seen people dress I'd guess the latter). Also I'm not sure "wit" is a typo.

3. I walk in with my ipod in my ears, he does the same, I always wonder what he's listening to.

Shit, most likely.

4. He is bald, like shaved his head bald, ok I didn't do this one, but i feel i may have if I was a guy, plus it looks super good on him.

Okay, let's take this one slow. So he is bald, and she didn't do this one (presumably she did the previous two but not this one, but if taken literally it could also mean she didn't make him bald) but she feels she may have (uhh, how can you tell?) and it looks good on him.
That is a lot of information packed into a single sentence.

Stupid general things, I'm pretty sure like 9,999 other people on campus have a black pea coat and ipod, plus I have my suspicions he's not straight, completely anyway.

Oh so just because he doesn't jump your bones he's a fag? That's real presumptuous.

I know absolutely nothing about him beyond that, which means I'm in love with the idea of him, which I like so far right?

Keep this in mind.

The rest of my class is spent looking at him when he's looking in the front of the room. Me and him both like schnauzers,

>I know absolutely nothing about him beyond that
>he likes Schauzers
Apparently her definition of "knowing" and mine are two different things.
True, she never saw him interact with a Schnauzer, but even if she had he could have been faking it, so really she can never know that he likes Schnauzers.
Also while I might put a period on that thought right there, she continues:

I learned it in a class exercise the first day of class, I wanted to be in his group, but it didn't work out cause we were on opposite sides of the room.

Let's analyze the information presented in this one sentence.
1. They both like Schnauzers
2. She learned this information in a class activity
3. She wanted to be in his group
4. they couldn't because they were on the opposite sides of the room
In my realm of litfaggotry that's 3-4 sentences.
It's like she has trouble editing her thoughts for content, so instead of even trying, her mind is like an anus, her entries shit, and her blog a toilet.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh I have am having such a hard time staying focused on any one thing.

No! You're kidding!

I don't want to do this. but i can't stop. i can't even spend 30 minutes reading a small excerpt from my research book. What do people do to keep drive? I can't find mine anywhere.

I find myself looking out the window instead of reading your stupid blog. Maybe it's you?

I'm kinda crazy in some weird normal way no one would care about. my brain hurts. the tips of my fingers hurt. the air around me is screaming at me even in silence.

Oh, I get it, you're crazy.

maybe someone will start a third world war and then i can enlist as an army nurse. I could do that right? no fighting, just wearing that funny little cute nurse hat.

Yeah that's definitely all nurses do. Especially army nurses. You can't even focus long enough to read a passage in a book, there's no way you could focus for hours upon hours of surgery.

no i want to be in a tanning bed, a nice warm tanning bed.

Army nurse OR tanning bed. Whichever happens first, I guess.

how on earth do future doctors, dentists, lawyers, professors ever do this? i like what im studying, except accounting, i just don't like studying.

Don't worry about it. You're not doctor, dentist, lawyer or professor material.
Also:
>I like what im (sic) studying
>I don't like studying
hm.

I'm at the library and can't see if i have chocolate on my face because i ate a chocolate in the car.

Quick, let's guess the weight!

Then I join a dating website with a 200lb picture of me up there, and wait for my bait and anyone willing to see me is either in it for my personality, has a glass eye and his last name is Boobfeeler so he thinks i'm an acceptable mate, is trying to marry me for money, or has some massive brain tumor.

When I read the Great Gatsby in 9th grade the first couple of pages were confusing (according to the teacher) and his advice was to "take it slow", so that's exactly what I'm going to do here.
1. She joined a dating site and posted a 200 pound picture of her (presumably she means she weighed 200 pounds when the picture was taken, not that the picture weighs 200 pounds)
2. She "waits for her bait" (?)
3. anyone willing to see her is either in it for her personality (which is worth it, I might add) has a glass eye (you can still see with one glass eye)
I guess what has me confused is the "wait for my bait" clause. What does that mean? Does she mean she's baiting someone? She's waiting for her catch (which would require bait)? What's going on here?

THIS is how i will meet my future husband. :)

Which is funny because not... Three paragraphs ago you just called blind dating through a radio show "pathetic" but apparently internet dating is not pathetic. Huh.

So do I really have to write 25 random things about me and post it on facebook.

Have to? What, is this a homework assignment? You don't have to do anything.

1. I've facebook stocked people, oh yes I have.

Stocked them on the fine shelving at Facebook, that is.

3. Canadian bacon and pineapple pizza is the best food in the world.

>Canadian bacon and pineapple pizza
>200 pounds
I think I found a connection.

I mean i could think of a million other good things to do besides play video/online games. It's not like you're gaining knowledge of the outside world, or practicing math, or improving your reading, or learning a new language, it's just a new form of being a vegetable.

Oh yeah, like you're such a scary brilliant scholar.

This could possibly be the worst, most boring entry i have ever written.

So why are you posting it, then?
It's like these people know somewhere in the back of their minds that what they're doing is wrong but don't know what to do about it. "Well I wrote a really long, boring entry. Wonder what I should do about it? Definitely post." Listen people, I have 215 entries written to "Edie Finds a Corpse." How many can you actually find? A little over 100. Over 50% don't make it.
You can edit for thought and content, and if entire entries don't make it WHO CARES? I tell you what will make people never want to read your blog: posting a ton of bullshit no one gives a fuck about.
I guess anyone could readily argue that "maybe they don't want people to read it" in which case they're clearing lying because no one posts shit to the internet expecting it to go unread.

Socially Well-Adapted Individuals

You won't see any here. I was doing the old bait-and-switch, see. Take one look at the avatar (a melting dog thing) and figure it out from there.
Everyone get your furry checklist out.

My parents are both good Catholics; therefore, when it comes to pleasures of the flesh, their attitude has always been simple: there are no pleasures of the flesh.

Oh this would have been simpler if you had just followed them without question.
Also before you explore deep sexual issues in exacting detail I'd like to point out no one really cares who you bone or how you do it.
Unless it's kids. Then the FBI might care.
Or if you kill them afterwards, then the police might care.
Okay so under some specific instances, some people might care. But other than that, no one gives a shit.

It is the duty of every man to abstain from such things until he finds the one right woman, then do it with her (and only with her) for the purpose of reproduction, and that's about it.

You Catholics are smart. You knew the second you gave these freaks an inch they'd take a meter.

Any other arrangement, including doing it just because you enjoy doing it? In good Catholic fashion, you should feel guilty about it.

Hey, if it prevents mutants wearing fur suits posting endlessly about it on the internet, then it can't be a bad idea.

One of the greatest sources of happiness in my life came when I realised that this model didn't work for me at all, in any respect. When I was growing up, I never really understood what I had a body for ...

I'm not particularly familiar with Catholic dogma but what I am very familiar with is Warhammer logic, and I can tell you the Iron Hands space marines believed you had a body so you could purge the weakness out of it.
Needless to say, insane levels of conditioning and training and replacing of limbs with robotics ensued.

The answer came to me when I finally acknowledged to myself that I was interested in males, and "gave one a try".

Checking off "gay" on the official furry checklist.

Oh, they do exist, and they are definitely not to be avoided. Sex is a source of joy, not a duty to be shunned except when forced to do it. Why do we have bodies? So that we can share those pleasures freely with others.

Continuing with my space marine analogy (I have yet to meet anything that cannot be compared to space marines), this is the rhetoric of the Emperor's Children. Heretic.
And heretics are only good for one thing: burning.

Enjoy what your body can do! Let it bring others the same pleasures that it brings you! Savour how it feels to take yourself and a friend or two on a joyride, throttle wide open, loving the pleasure because pleasure, shared responsibly, is good and true and wonderful.

That is an image I will take to my grave. You on all fours in a fur suit with a "friend" behind you.

We had a friend over to the house, and he was a friend with whom there had been flirtation ... so both body and brain were eager to share with him, to translate those flirts into the sticky, panting, wake-the-neighbours conclusion that a good flirt should lead to.

Eww.

Ever since I was a tyke, animated canine characters have just enthralled me.

Check.

It is generally rather difficult to drag me out to see a movie, but animated? Canine? Characters? May I see it again? Please?

101 Dalmatians was the greatest movie ever made according to this logic.

I was the kid with the Dynomutt lunchbox, and I wanted to be him when I grew up.

In a way, I suppose I have ... just look at my LJ icon or my fursuit.

Yeah you're just like Dynomutt, except somehow you're even lamer.

That's how I see myself and how I choose to present myself to the world.

See guys, it's a lifestyle, not a sexual fetish!
Fuck you, friend. Being a furfag is a goddamn fetish. Don't get all high and mighty on me about this bullshit.

Maybe that's why animated canine characters fascinate, because it's the only time I can see actors on the silver screen who are like me, who drag me in because I can really see myself in them.

>animated canine
>actors

They may be fictional, but they're real to me.

All right I guess that's fair.

I also do have to admit that I have a soft spot for musicals.

No, stop! A gay guy, liking musicals? THIS SHIT IS UNBELIEVABLE.

My mate and I don't agree on our musical tastes ... pretty much whatsoever. When he moved into my apartment in 1997 and we went to consolidate the CD collections, we had exactly one CD in common (the soundtrack to Balto).

I'd like to point out he's using "mate" in the animal sense. I thought he was Australian at first, but no, he calls his boyfriend his "mate".

But we do listen to music the same way: obsessive-compulsively. Pick a song, listen to it. Like the song? Listen to it again. And again. And again. And again.

Pfft, who doesn't do that? You're not special.

So there I was, minding my own business ... OK, I was sitting at a red light waiting to turn left, at one of those intersections where there are two left turn lanes that feed into both lanes of the street you're turning into. The light changed to green, and I turned.

Oh man maybe it's today but I keep yawning. This really is boring as fuck.
To make a 21 (!) paragraph story short: a cop pulled over the wrong person.

One of the things that my folks do to challenge themselves during their off hours is to work the crossword puzzles in the local newspaper. When I'm visiting, I get sucked in.

Dad, working this particular puzzle solo for the moment, hollers from the dining room: "Patron saint of chastity!"

Saint Agnes. Holy shit you are the worst Catholics ever. Patron saint of lost causes? Saint Julian. Patron saint of the blind? Saint Cecilia. SHIT ISN'T THAT HARD, FOLKS.

Dad: "Patron saint of chastity."

Mom, after a split second of thought: "Agnes."

Then she goes back into the bedroom and continues folding laundry.

This is why my mother and I don't discuss such things.

Hmph.

There may be a glass of wine, but there is no thou.

A glass of wine should be followed by a fireplace and a snuggle, not sitting in front of a computer writing about it.

You know "thou" carries a very formal, unfamiliar tone with it, and-- fuck it, goddamn. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I BOTHER TRYING TO EXPLAIN THIS SHIT TO YOU FURRY FUCKS.

Like a lot of humanity, I own an iPod ... which means that I own a set of those trademark white ear buds. To protect their pristine whiteness from being sullied by contact with actual human skin, the ear buds come with a small collection of black foam thingies that go over them. Lacking something better to call them, I call them "ear condoms".

... They do? Also does everything have to go back to sex with you? I know I'd call them ear bud covers, or "that shit that came with my ear buds." Or something.

To make another long story short, he goes to the Apple store (trendyfag) and gets more of these covers. For free.

This guy's problem is that he doesn't have anything to say AND he takes forever to say it, so even the most basic of tales (I went to the store for X and got it) becomes a long involved narrative. Worse still, this boring tale has 42 comments. Goddamn.

So I could go on trying to squeeze blood out of a rock (or funny out of this blog, to make it more literal) but I won't.