Oh God

Get ready--

I saw Prometheus yesterday and I am still trying to figure parts of it out. This marks it out as not your average summer blockbuster.

Really because I heard it was shit.
Or a really good movie, actually.
I dunno. Fuck it.

Talking with my missus this week about the Cold War made me remember a conversation I had at work in about 1999 about what we'd do in the event of a three minute warning of nuclear attack. Always assuming that the government passed such a warning on of course.

So you're married--
so presumably this is a man but I'm not betting on it.
LORD HAVE I BEEN BURNED SO MANY TIMES--

Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Once we achieve hope, anything is possible.

It's okay to make mistakes. Mistakes are our teachers - they help us to learn

Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.

What the fuck?
Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
If it has a second hand that means it's wrong 86,398 times a day.
But let's focus on the incidental two times it's right. No, awesome.
If it has a second hand it is right 0.000002% of the time a day.
I'm not demanding perfection from my clocks--
I know for a fact the main clock in my room loses about 30 seconds a week but I cut it some slack because it was made in like 1956 but still, you know, I expect it to be right more than a fraction of 1% of the time.

Who do you think would make a great U.S. president?

Caligula.

What is a synonym for your LiveJournal?

I don't have a Livejournal but a synonym for Livejournal in general is shit.

Some things are too important to be left to the private sector.

Like everything but then again the government is run by idiots--
IT'S A MINEFIELD.

Let me explain my political position. I think that the life-or-death industries like the utility companies (gas, water, electricity etc) and of course health, the armed forces police, fire brigade should be state-run.

 Why?

I don't recall in Britain when the utilities were state-run that we had the problem of OAPs having to choose between heating and eating every winter and I don't think anyone had even heard the phrase 'fuel poverty' before the industry was privatised.  

The fuck are you people doing?
I thought Britain was a first world country. You already mentioned well fare-- don't you subsidize poor peoples' heating?
Can Britain really not reconcile state run everything versus privatizing industries but subsidizing the poor peoples' costs?

Things like the welfare state the prison service and the judiciary important things like that will obviously still be administered by the government as well as transport schooling etc. 

I'd actually like to see a privatized judiciary system. I imagine it'd actually be far more efficient and fair than the existing mess.
I'm not saying I'd want to commit to it because it'd probably end up like Robocop or some shit but I'd like to see their plan before committing to it.

Everything else we can have private firms running things, competition and all that. I mean who wants a state-run supermarket? How dull would that be!

... Actually--
a state run supermarket system would be pretty smart.
Having worked at one for a while I can safely say they're not entirely sure what they're doing.
At least it'd minimize some of the fuckery I see there.

I saw someone driving yesterday. Not in itself all that unusual but they had an iPod on. No not on in their car routed through their speakers. Actually listening to it while they were driving with the earphones in their ears.

I'm not a driver but I can't for the life of me think that that is safe.

That is illegal in the US and I assume in the UK although after what I've just read it wouldn't surprise me if you people had no laws at all.
To be honest I don't fully understand why it's illegal. The logic is you need to hear emergency personnel coming but as anyone who has had iPod earbuds on can attest you'll definitely hear them coming because the noise bleed on any pair of earbuds is ridiculous.
Also I like how he says "not in itself all that unusual" like someone was about to say HEY WAIT SLOW DOWN YOU SAW WHAT?

Surely you need to be aware of things around you including noises and be alert at all times when in control of a vehicle?

Surely you do but I don't see how the sound being right in your ears versus being at three quarter's volume on the radio makes a huge difference.

Okay so the last time I posted about CCTV people freaked out a bit. But that was about three years ago so here goes again!

When people say we're the most watched nation on Earth in the UK I always think that they're scaremongering a bit. Mostly because if you've worked in a fast-food restaurant like I have you know that some cameras are of poor quality and the tape in them is reused so much that its practically transparent!

Wow.
Good work, idiot.
"It's okay there's a pervasive program of monitoring in my country because the government is too stupid to implement it properly."
Bang up job all around, retards.

The point is when they say there are X amount of cameras in Bridlington or wherever, they don't take into account the amount that are dummy cameras to scare people off, the amount that are covered in bird crap and unusable, the amount that use the same tape over and over etc etc. 

I think the fact the government installed them at all is pretty disturbing but then again I live in a first world country and not England.
Which I thought was first world but the more I read the more I'm starting to analyze my position on the matter.

And as we saw with the riots in London this year, CCTV is only really good after the event. Because despite what the some say, there isn't an operator sitting behind the screen watching every single camera. If there was, there would be zero unemployment!

Yeah after the race riots.
Because it's the 1960s in England still.

So I don't think CCTV is necessarily a bad thing. But then I'm not an armed robber, a drug dealer or someone that goes out looking for someone to hit with a bat!

You heard it here first: police states are okay as long as you're not an armed robber.
It must be great being this stupid.

So do I agree with the British monarchy. Yes. But not for reasons of patriotism as such. Economically they make sense as they cost about 79p to each citizen per year which is small beer when you consider the tourism revenue they bring in every year.

Plus there is the important thing. Having an apolitical head of state.

... An apolitical head of state with no actual power behind it, what?

So the British Medical Association said yesterday that smoking in cars should be banned.

Now, I am an ex-smoker (I quit two years ago) but I don't think everyone should be like me. Obviously smoking-related illness is a bad and very painful thing. But it is a lifestyle choice and your car is your own property.

This is an interesting stance from someone who just admitted having the government monitoring its citizenry constantly isn't a bad thing as long as you're not a criminal to take.
Government said it's bad--
Better comply, citizen, or prepare to be assigned to a reeducation facility.

If I walk through a cloud of cigarette smoke when I'm out I don't mind all that much, a couple of steps and you're through it. In a car, yes it is an enclosed space, but any kind of a parent should know themselves that subjecting their kids to second-hand smoke is bad. They're acting as if every parent is the most irresponsible person in the world!

Are you questioning policy, citizen?

But it is a choice. And banning smoking in cars, while probably a good thing in the long run for personal health, is unworkable. Don't the police have enough to do with all the cuts coming their way?

LIKE MONITORING ITS CITIZENRY.

When you watch things like Ice Road Truckers and see that they have an Alaskan oil pipeline through some of the most inhospitable terrain on Earth, the narration always makes it sound like its a great feat benefitting humankind. Which of course it is. But what would probably match if not better that would be if we could do the same with water with pipelines taking it to the most drought-heavy regions of the Third World.

Well why not? It seems like a no-brainer to me.

... Why not?
Are you joking?
$$$$$$$$?
The gas pipes in Alaska pay for themselves--
water pipes in Africa would only cost.

And it could also potentially offer a partial solution to the problem of rising sea levels in the future, with desalination plants on the coast purifying the water before sending it through the pipelines to inland areas for drinking and irrigation.

Am--
am I getting trolled?
That would solve the rising water levels?
Yes because when you drink water it just vanishes from reality and doesn't wind up back in the ecosystem at some point.
And, you know, expensive salt water purification plants and transportation lines are completely sustainable in an area of the world with about 0 infrastructure.
All right, boss, you have your pipes but WHOOPS ONE BROKE WHAT NOW?
The desert and the jungle especially are really hard on man-made structures so where's your staff to keep the jungle foliage from literally growing through your pipes?
Where do these pipes even wind up? Are you seriously feeding them through the entire African continent?
You'll have to transport them from the main saline treatment plants on the coast--
the coast of Africa, incidentally, which a quick Google search confirms is 16,000 square miles--
and the water will have to go to some sort of containing facility which will then have to feed into the various villages and shit--
who will need some sort of basic sewage system at this point to keep your waterworks from becoming tainted--
Do you have any idea how much this would cost?
You were just complaining about your country being broke. This would be enough to completely decimate the economy of the top 20 economies in the world I imagine.

And because the technology already exists it would probably be relatively cheap too.

...
Wow.
Yeah, pipelines just lay themselves.
Idiot.
I didn't even get into the astronomical sums it would cost to move that much piping over from the US (I assume the US would be donating the pipes) to Africa--
or Jesus Christ, moving the facilities to make the pipes over to Africa so they can make their own pipes?
Are we talking about a 70 year project or what?
Now, look, I'm no expert on logistics or supply routes here (despite people telling me I should go back to school for that, what) but one thing I do know is all logistics pretty much boil down to having material where you need it and Africa doesn't have material and it isn't where most people need it.
That might sound cold (because it is) but that goes a long way towards explaining why this plan won't ever happen.
I didn't even get into the fact that saline treatment isn't cheap at all and this guy's an idiot but let's skip over that for now or my head will explode.

It may even prove to the populations of the drought-affected countries that the West does care about them and stop them from being driven into the arms of extremists through mistrust and disgust of the richer nations.

Drought is a problem in Africa but it pales into insignificance compared to AIDS and conflict materials.
And you can't just propose people get their materials from somewhere else like during that whole blood diamonds nonsense because some of those metals are only found in that area of Africa.
You could deprive the first world of its metals that it needs to make processors but the effect that would have on Africa would be catastrophic compared to letting them persist in this conflict state.
I'm not even getting into what kind of effect that would have on the first world because this is only about Africa.
And I'm using effect instead of affect because at this point this level of idiocy has a direct cause and effect on the planet if he's in charge.
He means to do this to the planet.

Every day vast numbers of people have no access to plentiful water supplies and yet more drink polluted water doing untold damage to themselves because there is simply no other option if you want to survive until tomorrow. This is wrong and one of the greatest scandals in the world today. The simplest ideas are usually the best too.

Can't just teach them to filter their water with simple mesh nets and boil it, no, we have to create the most complicated water management system in the history of the entire fucking world.
This would make the New York pipelines and the entirety of the Roman aqueducts system look like a retard playing with tinker toys by comparison.
Why not propose we travel to Europa and mine its frozen ice lakes to bring back to Africa? At least some important ancillary technology would come from that.

One of my pet botherings is the way people misrepresent the very thought of universal socialised healthcare as 'socialist' and something to be avoided at all costs.

Well based off your previous post about water in Africa I'm guessing the concept that things cost money is a new one for you.

They say socialist like its a bad thing! I wonder if these people charge their next door neighbours for a band-aid.

A single band-aid has literally no resale value but if my neighbor is expecting me to foot his expensive treatment I might object a little bit.
See what I mean when I say this guy has no concept of value?
Is he seriously expecting the band-aid analogy to work?

Healthcare is not left wing its not right wing its not centre either. Its completely apolitical. It is the most noble thought to have occured to the human mind. To help your fellow human being in their hour of need. Health is a right not a privelege.

 He makes it seem like everyone but the poor are so rich they can afford whatever the fuck they want and are just denying the poor to be assholes. Do you have any idea how many people are barely scraping by and an expensive medical problem would nearly break them, such that they now can't afford to help anyone else?
Where's the compassion for people like that?
"People like that", incidentally, are the most populous group in any developed nation.
They're called the middle class.

Things people say that don't make sense.

Can we start with "piping sterilized ocean water through Africa is a viable solution to drought"?

 *"Don't knock it until you've tried it".

Hmmm lets see. I'm anti-fascist and I don't need to try fascism to know that it'll never be for me. And the same goes for jumping from a 20-storey window and shooting myself in the face. 

Oh shit. You sure got them, smartass. 

*"I don't vote in elections".

The king of stupid sayings. It took us decades to get the vote and world wars to keep it. The least you can do is put an X on a bit of paper you selfish fuck. And if you don't, you surrender the right to complain about anything. Ever.

I never understood this logic. If all of my choices are inherently shit and I choose not to deal with this garbage don't I have the right to complain?
You picked the idiot in office, or worse, you picked the idiot so bad he couldn't even win so don't you lose your right to complain?

Do you believe in UFOs? Do you have a gut dis/belief or do you rely on empirical proof? 

If there's empirical proof for what it is--
it's no longer a UFO, is it?
What does the 'U' in UFO stand for, dipshit?

Yes. I say this because I saw...something one night that changed my opinion from being a dyed-in-the-wool sceptic to being aware that there is more to this universe than us and thats it.

And its not only me, at least 75% of the people I grew up with or am friends with now have seen some strange goings-on at some point above our town. I know, I know, it sounds like a Stephen King novel or something where there's a town that loads of people have seen this and treat it as an everyday thing! But its true.

UNIDENTIFIED flying object.
MUST BE ALIENS!
Well you've now identified it, haven't you?
Of all the things that it could be why do you automatically conclude it must be aliens?
Never mind, actually. I gotta pick my battles with this idiot, clearly.

"We've got to make sure that people who have more money help the people who have less money". - Barack Obama.

Apparently Obama meant "by demographic" because he's certainly fucking over the middle class.
Actually the wealthy still have more money by demographic so I guess he's just a liar.

Do you believe in luck? Do you think some people are luckier than others? Do actions cause reactions or are there intervening forces beyond our control that govern our destinies? 

Man I sure miss writer's block.

No no and no. If fate really existed and we couldn't alter our course in life there would be no point in doing anything, ever. Fate is often confused by stupid people with coincidence.

After the shit you've just said I think you've lost your right to call anyone else stupid.
Also that's bulletproof logic. If fate were a real thing do you really think you'd be capable of understanding fate as a reality?

And the same with life. If you didn't get that job/girl/whatever its not down to luck its down to how much you wanted it and what you were prepared (or not prepared) to do in order to succeed.

That's an awfully utilitarian view from someone who said all that other shit in this blog.

So I see from my Daily Mirror today a pic of one of Girls Aloud (not sure which, but one that isn't Cheryl) looking ultra-skinny and gaunt with the predictable 'before and after' side pictures showing a healthy-looking young lady a few years ago that contrasts with the whippet-thin girl in the main article.

Girls Aloud?
Is it 2004?

Now I'm not sure at this second if she's ill or whatever and thats the reason for her sudden weightloss. But plenty of celebs are super-skinny out of choice. But why?

Every bloke I've ever talked to about this says the same thing: that they don't like ultra-thin women. And neither do I. 

Well there you have it. No one wants skinny chicks. This dude and his friends have deemed it--
so it is.

Is it because they think its what geezers want? Because they're wrong if they do.

Us lads want women to be...womanly. Any fella that wants a girl with a body like a 12 year old boy I find slightly disturbing.

I've seen this logic a disturbing number of times.
Like skinny chicks?
Nope fuck you you're either gay or a pedophile.
Well have fun, fatty fucker.

Obviously its the woman's choice what she does with her body but...all that effort if its in an attempt to attract boys is a little wasted on us.

Thats what most males think anyway!

Yeah yeah go work on your salt treatment, asshole.
Evaporation is the fastest way to do that shit, incidentally.
Saved you a lot of time I'm sure.
Anyway this has already gone on way too long so I'm going now.
Goodbye.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

My text editor looks different WHY MUST EVERYTHING BE DIFFERENT?
Anyway, welcome... TO OBLIVION.

Which U.S. President has made the most positive impact?

FDR.
If you don't say FDR you are provably wrong.

Interesting that quite a few people find the mere asking of this question "US-centric", are "annoyed", or think even asking the question is "ignorant"

I'm interested in hearing what people from other countries or cultures think on a variety of subjects, including this one. Had the question been about British Prime Ministers, I wouldn't have immediately gotten up in arms and thought it "Anglo-centric" or biased or ignorant. I would have either stated my opinion, or ignored it, and gone on about my day.

I'm also cheered to see so few "JFK" responses to this.

Other people are annoying. Look, if the US-centric questions on the US website upset you stop going to it. Or stop looking at it. Or, go found a British Livejournal that only asks UK questions.

Remember remember the fifth of November
Gunpowder, treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder, treason
Should ever be forgot...

I always find it ironic that Americans want to celebrate Guy Fawkes day, a day that:
1. has nothing to do with them
and:
2. celebrates the endurance of monarchism and the defeat of a man who would have found a lot in common with the founding fathers.
But I guess V FOR VENDETTA MADE IT TRENDY TO TALK ABOUT LOL God I hate people so much.

As I explained to a coworker today; YES, I have a Facebook page, but the entire raison d'etre of my Facebook page as it relates to co-workers is to tell them that I shan't be adding them as friends to my Facebook page.

Did you just use a pretentious French term for a simple English term (reason) and the term "shan't" in one sentence?
Aaaaaand the only reason for this page is to purposefully exclude people?
Oh my God, dude.
People have asked me how I can be such a bitter enemy of my fellow man.
I ask them instead how can you not be filled with revulsion at them?

I then likened my page to that room in British gentlemens' clubs wherein members must be silent at all times.

I'm likening my right hook to the bane of witches right now and you're about to be judged.

From now on, I'm referring to supervisors/bosses as "harangue-utans".


Say it with me "HARANGUE-utans"

That is all

HAAAA-- all right, look, buddy. We were joking around before but you're seriously starting to try my patience.

Yes folks, you heard right, I've been spewing drivel from this here soap box for TEN YEARS! In that time I've had literally ("literally" in this case does not means "literally") DOZENS (meaning "one or two" not "twelve", fuck convention) of fascinating and original posts

Did you just use the term "fascinating" to describe your blog?
You know in the Roman Empire the most extreme punishment a man could face was called Damnatio Memoriae, where not only would they kill you they'd also destroy anything that indicated you ever existed.
I'm not sure that's a sufficient punishment for your douchebaggery.
You have made a fate called "damnation of memory" seem like a light sentence compared to your douchebaggery.

Soooooo...I was wondering; how does a character in "Moby Dick" (the new Encore version) quote the poem "Invictus"?

Not how a semicolon works you pretentious fucker.
Are you fucking serious?
After all this posturing and feigning at being smart about cultural matters you seriously fucked a semicolon up that bad?
Here's a question for you to ponder, cocksucker: can a semicolon replace a comma?
No.
Is "so I was wondering" a full thought?
If you said yes you're a jackass.
Why is that you may ask?
Because even though it has all of the parts of speech required to make a sentence, repeat with me now fucker:
a sentence must have a subject, a verb and it must express a complete thought.
Is that a complete thought?
"So I was wondering."
WHAT WERE YOU WONDERING?
SOOOOOO IIIIIS A COOOONJUNCTION YOU PIECE OF SHIT. IT IMPLIES A CONNECTION (CONJUNCTION-- CONJOIN, GET IT?) TO SHIT THAT ISN'T THERE.
If you cut me in the leg you would be hit in the face with boiling blood.
Time travel is the obvious answer as the book takes place 25 or so years before the poem was written.
So smart about literary matters but DOESN'T KNOW HOW A SEMICOLON WORKS FUUUCK YOUUU.
Which movie or book character are you most like, and why?
I've always felt a deep kinship with:
Reclusiarch Grimaldus.

Humbert Humbert

Oh it's the guy from Lolita.
Get it? I guess he's a pedophile.
No I like mine better.

What is your favorite foreign film? Do you think there should be an American remake?

Yojimbo.
If your favorite foreign movie isn't Yojimbo you either haven't seen it or are objectively wrong.
And yes, we've been over this. Yojimbo was so great it required two remakes. One starred Clint Eastwood and the other starred Bruce Willis.

1) "The Grand Illusion" by Jean Renoir
2) GOD no

Yojimbo is such a timeless classic you can safely remake it in any culture in any time period and it works.
Of course neither remake were as good as the original but they were both watchable.
Fistful of Dollars definitely pales into insignificance compared to the other two entries in the trilogy.
Everyone talks about The Good, the Bad and the Ugly as the best entry in the trilogy but really For a Few Dollars More is by far the greatest movie ever made, let alone the best of the trilogy.

If I gave you all ten quesses, I'll bet you'd NEVER guess what kind of sandwich I had today.

Give up?

If there's any justice in the world it's a knuckle sandwich.

Sauteed venison pastrami and jarlsberg, with a home-made curry guacamole on a warm baguette

It were exceedingly delicious, especially paired with a bowl of shrimp bisque, and a glass of Louis Jadot Beaujolais-Villages.


YUM

What would Grimaldus do?
"I have dug my grave in this place and I will either triumph or I will die."
No that's not quite what I'm looking for--
"We are judged in life by the evil we destroy."
That's close enough, sure.

If God exists, He wants us to have faith in Him. The "Rapture" would be concrete proof of His existence. Concrete proof negates faith.
Therefore, if the IS a God, there cannot ever be a "Rapture", and if there is NOT a God, there cannot ever be a "Rapture".
The "Rapture" cannot happen.
Q.E.D.

That's not really how that works--
all right, whatever.
Not worth arguing about, honestly.

Whilst reading the local newspaper I came across a curious fact; If a man is paying child support, and consequently through a DNA test is proven to not be the father of the child in question, a judge can order him to continue paying child support if it is "in the best interest of the child".

Here's a curious fact for you: subordinating clauses not linked through a conjunction need a colon and not a semicolon.

Surely this can't be right. A personal can be held financially responsible for a child that is not theirs? How is this legal? How is this JUSTICE?

Oh you really don't want to talk about justice, friend.

I can hear people winding up the "think of the child" argument, but that doesn't cut it.
Theoretically, a woman can pick the wealthiest person in any given community and slap him with a paternity suit and even IF it's disproven scientifically, since that person is wealthy, a judge could order him to pay support for the child since it would be "in the best interest of the child".

That seems like a bit of a stretch.
I'll admit I'm no expert on law but I doubt very much that could happen.

You realize the man is question can then be jailed, or have other sanctions used against him if he refuses to pay? Jailed for something he did not do? How is THAT ever just?

And yet you walk free despite being guilty in extremis of douchebaggery.
Count your blessings.

Pardon my ignorance, but is not "one-fifth" preferable to "five times fewer", as in "one-fifth the calories" rather than "five times fewer calories"?? Those ARE analagous terms, are they not?

...
Well without breaking out the calculator let's logic this one through.
1/5th is the same as 20%.
five times fewer is the same as dividing by 5, which is 20%.
So yes. They are the same.
Other things you apparently don't know:
www.google.com
www.wikipedia.org
www.mathhelp.com
Asking a friend.

You know, I've never found Ms Perry attractive.

Me neither.
But I am honor bound to disagree with you on every point, so she's the hottest chick in the history of the world.

This bothers me a tiny bit as most guys I know are foaming at the mouth about her. It finally occured to me what it is about her I don't like; she has nice parts, but somehow, taken as a whole, she doesn't gel.

What, is she a Frankenstein monster? All of her parts clearly belong on her because they're on her.

She's like a woman designed by committee; all the constituent parts are what's supposed to be "sexy" but somehow the whole effect lacks harmony.

Hold on it's taking me more time than expected to take this crusade.
Hit me with the next line and I should have something.

Plus, in interviews and appearances, she comes across as not-terribly-bright.

I dunno she seems about as bright as any other pop star.
Not that it matters anyway. You don't listen to pop music for the deep intellectual discussions it creates.

You know what bugs me? When you order a pizza that's let's say, $12.00, and when the delivery guy gets there, you hand him a $20 and he asks "You need some change back?" That's just rude, and not only rude, who tips $8 on a $12 order?

I always pay in scorpions.

As will suprise no-one, I've dubbed my Nook "The Nookronomicon"

You know what I call my Nook?
My eReader.
Twat.

My mom is in ICU with a gastric infection. It doesn't look good.

Oh what, did she read your blog?
Fuck you I can be that callous. This guy has put me through a lot both emotionally and morally.

What has been the most surprising cultural event of 2010?

Wow I'm getting far back.
I'll tell you the most surprising cultural event of 2011:
WHY IS SKYRIM SO GOOD?
This fucking game, man. It went from early contender to game of the year when I first heard about it to "holy shit that looks so bad" back to game of the year contender.

That there IS no culture in 2010; just wretched excess and pretense

Don't talk about pretense. Were I to start a crusade against pretense you'd rank high on my list of things to go.
But don't worry I'm sure it's just because you're fresh in my mind. Give it some time and you will slip back into obscurity, worm.

So, someone on my flist posted something that I found rather offensive, wherein she made a sweeping negative gender-based statement about men.

You're a man.
You are begging for annihilation.
THEREFORE-- I dunno, I'm feeling her on this one. I'm starting to hate my own gender based solely on you.

I gently chided her for doing so by posting a clearly marked (subject heading was "a gentle parody, if I may be allowed") parody of what she'd written which was a sweeping negative gender-based statement about women to show how just plain wrong and hurtful such statements are.

Call her a cunt to her face and tell her to return to cleaning.
Don't even dress it up like a parody. Leave it to her imagination to determine whether or not you're serious.

Her reaction? NOT - as I might have assumed from her earlier posts - a thoughtful, reasoned, intelligent discussion of the issue, but instant un-friending.

Listen, buddy. The woman is clearly a saint for even entertaining the notion of being your friend.
I've known you for all of an hour and already I'm sure I don't want to live on the same planet as you.

Frankly, I have had all I am going to take from women saying stupid fucking things about how dumb or obnoxious or insensitive or just plain useless men are and I WILL call them on it, just as I would if they were making a racist or xenophobic comment. To make my self VERY clear, I would ALSO call out a man who was making sexist staements.

Who are you, the arbiter of all sexism?
You are in a poor position to be talking about obnoxious men, I might add.

"We've had to put up with it for years" IS NOT AN EXCUSE, in many ways, it make the offense worse.

-EDIT- Apparently, if a man has the temerity to have a disagreement with a woman, that, in itself, is enough to prove that he is sexist.

What's your title?
Chief arbiter of douchebaggery?
Disagreeing with the saint of patience?
I think not.

What is your ultimate dream job? Do you think you'll ever live the dream?

Space Marine--
No, unfortunately, I was born too soon.

"DREAM JOB" what an utterly middle-class question. Anyone with ANY taste at all would wish to be a gentleman (or lady) of leisure

My leisure is lighting witches on fire.
Don't judge me you cockeyed sack of shit.

What cheers you up the most when life gets you down?

Reading my own blog. It is delightful. Pretentious French.

To crush my enemies, drive them before me, and hear the lamentations of their women, natch.

I think our cards got mixed up.
Oh right, here we go:
IT IS NOT ENOUGH THAT THEY SUFFER AND DIE-- THEY MUST BEND THEIR KNEE AND ACCEPT MY ETERNAL DOMINION OVER THEIR MISERABLE LIVES.
Whew, sorry forgot where I was for a second.
What say you, Internets Friends, about the film "Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors" by Sergei Paradjanov? I just ran across the DVD and it looks interesting.

Yea or nay?
Nay and kill yourself.
Anyway I'm going to go do something more productive with my time.

Stealin' Playbooks

Today's blogger has been taking plays right out of my ol' buddy Victograywolf's playbook.
Of all the people to steal jokes from he's pretty much the last person I'd want to steal from because his jokes read less like jokes and more like ransom notes to a little girl's parents.
AND JUST TO PROVE I'M SERIOUS I'LL MAIL YOU HER SEVERED FINGER, NYAAA.
This blogger's answer to the writer's block is, without fail, "your mother."
Comedians generally preach the rule of three, so you'll find this joke funny three times before you should move on (assuming this was funny in the first place, which it wasn't) and generally you'll want to build up to it-- you know, there's a lot of thought that goes into comedy. Which is why you'll probably be unsurprised to hear that, a few exceptions notwithstanding, this blogger answers the writer's block always.
Funny!

I am still around. Still volunteering at the museum, still reading and writing. I'm taking a course this summer to renew my teaching license, and I'm still looking for a job. I've been playing Lego Harry Potter with Doug, and I've discovered Regretsy, and that combined with Cake Wrecks, and Lovely Listing helps me to avoid housework. Gosh, those sites are a little girly. I have to keep up my tomboy cred, I've also been playing Diablo II.

I can think of little more annoying than a girl who flaunts the fact she plays video games.
That'd be like me microwaving a TV dinner and saying LOOK I CAN COOK!
(because girls invariably pick casual games because they are not good at the vidya).
See that's a setup that works twice as hard because I imply women shouldn't leave the kitchen and attempt to describe the entire population in one go.
Pussy sensitivity has really aided my trolling art.

This weekend I read, nay, devoured two books from one of my long time favorite authors, Richard Castle: Heat Wave and Naked Heat. I may have mentioned before how much I adore Richard Castle. Maybe? I would marry this man.

Too bad he's fictional.

That is like the tenth time I've heard the turn of phrase "devoured a book" and it's always within the context of Livejournal.
That is a really douchebag turn of phrase and I wish you people would stop.

Anyway, for those of you living under a rock, Castle is a fictional author, the lead character on a tv show of the same name. The premise is that he follows NYPD detectives (specifically Detective Kate Beckett) around solving crimes with them, in order to do research for his novels. This is patently an excuse, as his mother pointed out, he wrote twenty six books before he met her, he doesn't have to keep following her around. The real reason he follows her around is because he's madly in love with her, and in three seasons, they keep stretching out the romantic tension, which has worked.

Wait, so let me see if I understand this correctly: there's a TV show starring a fictional author who writes books about some dumb shit but you can actually buy these books that are supposedly written by a fictional author?
That is meta as hell, man.
Also, TV shows where there's sexual tension between two of the main characters are a really bad idea. They are pretty much on a timer by definition. Once they fuck the show is ruined, if they get angry and start fucking other people the show is ruined-- the show is permanently in stasis, basically, and eventually that shit becomes insufferable anyway.
At any rate, someone decided to actually market these fictional books by a fictional author, and my husband got them for me on e-book, and I read them on my iPad. The best thing I can tell you is, if you aren't a fan of the show, you might not like them all that much.

If you are a fan of the show, you'll notice a lot of Castle's research actually wound up in the books, more so in Naked Heat once the tv show in jokes had been established: body found in fridge, jokes about Nikki surviving an explosion in a tub.

All that stuff is well and good, and you'd enjoy reading about it even without the tv show references, but the books also paint Richard Castle in a bad light. Frankly, they make him look like a hack writer.

If you've published 26 books and you're not 357 I have some bad news.
Unless you're Isaac Asimov and accidentally stumbled across a winning formula in the 40s and published 50 books no one bothered to read then yes, you're a hack.

For starters, we all know that Kate Becket is the inspiration for Nikki Heat. But, wait! Her plucky Irish friend Ryan and her street smart Latino friend Espinoza show up as Raley and Ochoa (Roach, if you're referring to both of them)! Captain Montgomery, the wise Negro/boss man is Captain Montrose! The sassy M.E. Lainey is now the sassy M.E. Lauren!

"Castle" even inserts himself under the name of "Jamison Rook" (Get it, Castle? Rook? Get it?). Instead of a famous novelist, Rook is a journalist following Heat around for pretty much the same reason Castle follows Beckett around. Only Rook and Heat sleep together. Which is frankly not likely, considering that the only differences between Rook and Castle are that Castle's bad habits (name dropping, wise cracks) are amplified and his good traits are not.

This show and these books sound fucking awful. I can't imagine creating a character called "Nikki Heat" and saying "yes, this'll be worthy of publishing."
I can't imagine seriously saying "ehhhh there's a black chief who is all angry and yelling like Samuel Jackson and there's a journalist following the hot cop around and then they fuck--" and saying "yes, my best work to date."

I couldn't put them down. You're mileage may vary.

You are mileage indeed.

Another Gorram Sinus Infection.

Frell me.

And apparently you've contracted a disease that causes you to curse like you're a Klingon from Star Trek or perhaps a Dark Elf from the Elder Scrolls series.
YOU S'WAH!

You know on TV, people are always being asked in job interviews what their biggest flaw is? I've never been asked that, but I have an answer. I've known for years that my biggest flaw is being completely, utterly, brutally honest.

I was recently hipped to the fact your answer should be that you work too hard.
Which is genius when you think about it.

When I was in sixth grade, my aunt got her hair cut, from shoulder length to pixie cut. She asked how it looked. I told her I didn't like it, and she looked like a twelve year old boy. My mom got mad at me, but I just said "What? You told me never to lie, that it's a sin." She couldn't very well say anything after that.

I heard there was this thing you can do where you're not lying but you're not telling the truth, either--
oh yeah, it's called having tact.

In seventh, I had a friend who wanted me to ask a boy out for her. So I did. "Hey. She likes you. Will you go out with her?" He said no, he had a girlfriend, so I went back to report.

"You weren't over there that long!" She was horrified that I'd just come out with it. "Well, I did what you asked..." She never asked again. No one did, come to think of it.

"If I have any flaws at all it's that I get too involved in my work."
You really seem like someone who would use all 1000 words on a job application.

I'm typing this on my iPad which I am enjoying, mostly. It's still easier to type on a pc, so I can read lj all I want as long as I have nothing to say.

You know what makes typing a lot easier than typing on a PC?
No tactile feedback. I want to feel like I'm typing with a piece of glass because I'm using a piece of glass to type.
Seriously I don't get iPads or why you'd want one.

Well, they finally managed to find some kids to tutor to justify having me here. The good news is that they couldn't pull them out of 6th or 7th period, so they pull them out of 5th. This means I no longer have to watch the kids eat lunch.

The bad news is that they didn't tell me these are special ed kids, and I mean extremely special ed. Right before I tutor them (to pass their 8th grade reading standards test), one of them comes from "Household Maintenance" so he can learn to be on his own when he graduates. I didn't even know it was legal for me to be tutoring them.

It isn't.
Unless you're supervised.

Which you probably are. I don't know, what is it you do, exactly? I got the implication you're a teacher but you don't actually teach anyone.
is official as of today: After June, I will no longer be a teacher at my old high school.

The superintendent came in a gave me a very apologetic meeting wherein he stated that there just wasn't enough budget for another teacher next year, and that I was one of five being cut.

Yeah that happened at my school too but then everyone quit so they ran into some vacancy problems.
5000 "your mother" responses in relation to writer's block later and I'm getting a little tired of scrolling.
I think I'm going to call it quits here.
I'M OUT LIKE SHOUT (oh God why did I reference Marky Mark)

Good Grief

OH NO WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING?
This blog is everything I've ever spoken about that's wrong with people and more.
We have all the signs: the black background with the birds flying in front of the moon, the "oh you have to be 14+ to read these deeeeeeeeeeep thoughts" the self-important bint who fancies herself a deep, free soul who has a child out of wedlock, cheated on her boyfriend and then wonder why literally everyone hates her.
I mean I could just copy and paste responses from previous entries and you'd never know.
In fact this blog is so familiar I wouldn't be surprised if I haven't already reviewed it.
She even does that thing of "I lost my inspiration so I left Livejournal and it has been two years since I last updated (because, you know, updating Livejournal really requires a lot of inspiration and dedication).
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH.
Also today's Writer's Block:

If you had a special power, would you hide it or share it with the world, and why?

Depends on the power.
I'm not even pretending like I'd end up a super hero, though. I doubt I'd be a super villain, though-- I'd probably end up like the Green Hornet.
Just kind of doing what I want.

If I had a special kind of power, I would hide it all from the world. Why? So I wouldn't be the center of attention, so I wouldn't be asked to do anything. I'd like to do it all on my own. Helping the world out piece by piece. I'd rather find someone that loved me for me with or without the power, and then tell them.

Or maybe I'd become supremely egotistical like Maxie Zeus and try to find someone equal to my GODLY FORM.
How the hell do I know so much about super heroes?
I don't even read comic books and yet I managed to name drop the Green Hornet and Maxie Zeus.
I just realized I do have a super power: precognition. I somehow know shit without knowing it.

If you were a cross-breed between two animals, what animals would they be, and why?

FURRY ALERT.
Did you know the Russians tried to crossbreed men with gorillas to create a new super soldier?
I am not joking. That really happened.

I'd love to be a cross-breed of a cat and a panther. I know they're of the same species but the both have different qualties. I'd have double the amount of lives one cat has, 18 lives ;)

Well, 19 lives because you also have one as a human.

I'd be able to sprint at various speeds. Climb trees, land on all fours, and live carelessly like a cat!
& I'd be able to 'puurrrr," ;)

Humans definitely can't run at various speeds or climb trees.
Hey wait--
Now here's an entry called "Robert;" which leads me neatly into my next point: this woman doesn't know how semicolons work.

thought about you alot today, talked about you and reminised about the good times.
I remember when you said you'd always be there, that you'd be my Guardian Angel,
well I'm in dire need of your affection. I call out for you in my dreams, please come
back, make me okay, make everything okay. Make me smile. I miss you.

That's what happens when you get mixed up with dumb cunts, Robert.

So I have a confession. I was seeing two guys before I got pregnant. One was my first love, and the other was an ex boyfriend. I slept with them in the same week.

:V

I was 80% sure it was the ex boyfriends. Now my first love posted a baby photo of himself on facebook, and my daughter and him look alike. Red hair, same nose, and same eyebrows. I don't know what to think ..

Bastard children.

Ive got a bad feeling. My boyfriend had some stuff stolen from the house which was technically his friends, and since theyre really good friends, his friend thinks my boyfriend should go along for the ride to beat the shit out of this guy because it was stolen from our house.

Seems like a good idea to me.

Now, his friend is really dumb, naive and doesnt care what happens because he thinks he is so invincible, but we have a daughter at home, and if I lose my boyfriend over something to petty, than Im nothing without him. My boyfriend didnt even want to go, but his friend basically called him out.

The daughter that might have been conceived by a different party.
Or maybe this is yet another boyfriend. The previous entry listed one potential father as "ex-boyfriend" but since I always go in reverse chronological order maybe they broke up between entries but then again I can't imagine such a prime chance to bitch and moan would be passed up.

Although his so called "good friend" should understand that; staying at home with his wife and daughter are way more important than what theyre about to do.

Just going to jump some yahoo, baby. We'll be back before dinner.

- now when I say I have a bad feeling, I have a bad feeling and cannot avoid the ovbious. Something bad always happens. I got that sense in me. I dont know what to do besides sit here and wait ...

If only there was some sort of government organization that handled criminal affairs.
Maybe they could have people that rode around troubleshooting the complaints of the citizens and if they catch someone who maybe stole something they could take this person to a place where they had barred rooms or something.
Unfortunately to my knowledge no such institution exists.
Although proving you actually had something stolen is classically difficult so maybe handling this internally would be the surest and most expedient means by which to render JUSTICE.

; I haven't written on LiveJournal in over 2 1/2 years. I've kept a journal but I've stopped writing about a month or two before I gave birth. To be completely honest, I think I stopped writing because I lost my inspiration, the real reason why I wrote. I was on top of the world, who would have thought I would fall? Can you stop the free fall? Can you stop the screaming?

FREE FALLIN'
OUT INTO NOTHING
Also you may notice this paragraph of nonsense begins with a semicolon. That is not an editing error on my part: the sentence literally starts with a semicolon and there is nothing before it.
You might think it is somehow joining the title of the thing to the body but nope, the title is --.
I feel like I'm reading through a ROM with a hexviewer. Sometimes you find all sorts of crazy messages from the developers which are often written as poorly as these blogs are but while no human was intended to read these messages, here this sits, on display for the world.
If you're nerdy enough to have done something like that.

hey guys its been awhile since ive updated

but im doin good. its me an my bf's one yr anniversary :)
should be basically happily married :) its rather twisted.

Actually to correct my earlier statement that "I don't read comics" I have read one.
It's called Arkham Asylum and it was fucking hardcore, man.
It stars Batman and he goes to an insane asylum.

im wrkin at Giant Tiger haha.

still blazin. got my nose stuck in yayo.

ugh getting a tattoo.

For those of you blissfully unaware of the corrupted, low speech of the ignorant: "yayo" (or "yeyo" if you're not illiterate) is cocaine.

hopefully moving out of the parents house soon.

ugh thats bout it,,
loving life :)

peace easy

I guess so.
Here's an entry with dark purple (on a black background) font that is, I am not making this up, size .5. Additionally, it is underlined in light gray and the underscore is larger than the font.
Not even going to attempt to read this.

i guess i have known all along that

everything is about mind, body & soul ..

but i could never figure out what i was to do with it .

.maybe i was suppose to embrace it ..

lather it in .. drown in it .. something ..

i should know my mind in through out ..

What the fuck?
Ok just to give you an idea of what I put up with, I'm going to copy this entry exactly as she has it, so you get to experience the font and everything:

what do i think about .. who to think about ..

why do i think about it .. where to think about it ..

i should know my body and be comfortable

with my body .. no one is to judge .. i am flawless ..

i am beauitful .. i am desirable .. am i not ?

the only thing i am left with is doing some

soulsearching

I HATE ALL PEOPLE.
MY BIND BURNS WITH SUCH HATE THAT YOU'VE NEVER SEEN.

when i dont know what questions to ask ..

how to go about it .. nothing along those lines ..

i dont even know how to start, where to start,

even yet why i am even wondering ...

Oh good, adding an underline to it. MY RAGE BURNS INCANDESCENT.

im a wreck ..
ive gone and spun myself out of control ..

but i thinks its going to be okay ..

the only thing left on my list is
> Gavin ..

>Implying Gavin

i want to get fucking stoned or really fucked up on pills ..
i need a hard drug ...

If only you'd overdosed.

yea .. well .. im kind of getting back into this ...
you guys have missed out on quite a bit but thats okay ..
its only me and my life ..

"missed out on quite a bit" being relative, of course.

.. yea well i dont want to be with my boyfriend no more ..
i don tknow him and he dont know me ..
we are two opposite people ..
hes outgoing, spontanious and just a wild animal ..
i cant control him ...

Because all healthy relationships are built on control.
And cocaine.

.. my best friend confessed his undying like for me ..
i love him with all my heart but ..
you know how it is ..
it just wouldnt work ..
or im just too stubborn and scared of
the word love ...

Well, hey.
If you got bad news, wanna kick the blues, cocaine.
When your day is gone and you wanna ride on, cocaine.
And what follows is:
entry with .5 font. Dark blue text, black background.
Entry with .5 font. Electric purple text, black background.
Entry with .5 font. Bright orange text, black background.

i got my first paycheck! wahoo! but yea.. this is my list

- new bong. or glass pipe.
- pair of black jeans.
- shoes.
-ummm ... dope !!

I am so fucking impressed right now.
Holy shit I don't even care anymore.
Time to do something else.

Fist Rockgroin

I've been playing X-COM lately and all my characters have ridiculous names.
Captain Fist Rockgroin and his intrepid crew, including the, err, "lovely" Reef Blastbody.
My personal favorite is Law Bonecrusher, though.
Token ethnic friend of the crew. (He's Chinese because there's no way you could tell from the name).
Anyway, blogs.
I am loving this font, lady.

Awwww, yeah micky-fickies! Season five and six of OTH has arrived at the library. I can't wait to go home and clean up my room, call Jeff and let him know I'm safe and sound, find something to eat, play with Elizabyth ...then --and only then-- will I be able to watch muh shows!

Between a "to do" list and Twitter there is Livejournal.

We're looking into our own place, yeah, and I'm not sure if we are moving too fast. Well no, it's what I want, without a doubt I'm in love with him and sure it sucks that things aren't what we thought they'd be two years ago but we feel it's a step in the right direction. Starting our lives together. I looked at him last night, and after thinking long and hard about things --about what he said, asking me to marry him to be the mother of his child... After reflecting on the missacrraige (we were certain it'd be a girl: Andrea Peyton S) I whispered to him that I wanted to marry him, to have a child, to have a family with him.

How many ways can I say "no, this is a bad idea"?
You know that voice that said "I'm not sure if we are moving too fast"? You are.
When you can't tell the answer is yes.
Okay you inconsiderate cunt I had to turn my game off so I can focus more on your bullshit because my eyes literally could not focus from screen to screen because of your tiny ass microfont.

What is your favorite cult film, and why?

Today's writer's block, because I'm sure you were curious.

Are you kidding me... Rocky Horror Picture Show hands down!

Considering 90% of all responses were "Rocky Horror Picture Show" I'm not sure that counts as a cult movie.
Some of the other more perplexing answers included "The Godfather" (what) and "The Matrix". Maybe I don't know what a cult film is but I'm pretty sure what is widely regarded as one of the greatest movies ever made and one of the highest grossing movies ever made respectively don't count.

I thought the best thing for us was to take things slow. I was wrong and that changes evrything. I'm sorry, I truly am, for not caring enough --soon enough.

Even if you're wrong never admit it because the only way most people will know is if you tell them.

If you woke up surrounded by doctors who told you that you'd been in a medical experiment since birth and that your entire life had been a dream, how do you think you'd react?

I'd have to ask them who came up with this ridiculous question.

What's your favorite music video of all time?

ROCK ME TONITE

I can't make up my mind but it's a toss between...

Linkin Park - From The Inside

and...

A Perfect Circle - Three Libras

And that's just off the top off my head.

:|
Linkin Park is cool, though.

If you could give one friend a superpower, which friend would you choose, and what power would you give him or her?

I'd give myself Beta level psychic powers.
I am my own best friend.

What song reminds you of the happiest times in your life, and why?

I don't remember this question or what I said.
I'm going to go with "Numb" by Linkin Park because-- no I'm just fucking with you.

Homies-ICP

Hahahahaha
Holy shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.
EVERYTHING'S ALL FUCKIN' MIRACLISTIC AND SHIT

What name would you give to your car or bicycle, and why?

Oh look, it's this shit again.

Nike ---no, not the shoe company. Although even they got the name from Greek Mythology. She is the goddess of strength, speed, and victory.

Because your car gives you strength-- what?

What's the worst thing you ever did to a partner during the course of a relationship? Did you ever move beyond it?

Murdered her and buried her in my backyard.
Yeah I just started dating her sister. The whole "searching for the missing person" quest made us really close.

I unfortunately cheated. No it wasn't something to get back at him for something else and I'm certainly not the type of woman who tends to be on the loose side.

I like how she says "I unfortunately cheated" like "whoops, couldn't have avoided that outcome".

No, it was a foolish mistake because I had not let go of my ex ---the same guy you told me I could trust him, the guy who said he couldn't give me what I needed at the time he broke up with me ...wrapped around his finger. I gave up friends, family, a good credit score, and almost an education because of him. I had not seen him in over a year; he said that he pretty much wanted me out of his life but when I feel content anough to apologize for things I had done in the past... He accepts I tried to be cordial, civil --hell, I thought we were friends and that we could put it all behind us and still be friends-- but then he shows up at my house, randomly... Things didn't go as far as the would have had Jeff not been in the picture (in a way he saved me from yearning for this guys attention and love when he never cared baout me in the first place).

Wait-- what's happening?

In fact, when he kissed me... I'll admit, something snapped inside of me I longed for the day when I'd be in his arms again. I wanted to know what took so long and why now and if he still cared about ---if he still loved me. I never thought once that he felt nothing at all. I never once imagined him having other motives or thinking of me merely as an object. I loved and trusted him too much to. But then... I had a sort of epiphany. You left me, I thought to myself. You left for a month without telling me ---even though you worked ten minutes from my house. You broke up with me to leave for North Carolina because there's nothing in Ohio for you.

NORTH CAROLINA MOTHERFUCKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER
I haven't cut anything out of this story, in case you were wondering. I have no idea what I'm reading.

Uh. Sooo yeah. along with getting my things in the house together, talking things over with Jeff, and figuring out short term goals for the next few weeks... I messaged her. You know, The lady I was so very rude to about the whole... well, nevermind. If you know you know, if you don't I'm going to keep it that way.

"No reason to start making sense now."

From time to time it would cross my mind and hit hard... I felt in my heart that trying to speak to her would be the right thing to do. To apologize. To say I'm not really such a bitch. I felt as nervous as Peyton every time she'd run into Lindsay. Wanting to do what felt right in the beginning only to have it blow up in her face and then so awkwardly try and make things right because the person she was when the met isn't and actually realy wasn't who she was as a person. Does that make any sense? I feel like I'm rambling.

NO, NOT YOU!
I know I've asked this question before (probably quite a few times) but what's the point of posting this on the internet? Why can't you just keep this shit to yourself?
Is it because your friends are reading? I'm here to tell you: they aren't. Most blogs have 0 comments. Most blogs have fewer comments than mine.
Fuck me I'm going blind.

This is a hard choice

Today strangers know me better than myself. As I'm driving home from my horrible high school the radio proudly tells me "MORE MUSIC YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR" as they start playing Rihanna.
Yes, 105.7 KZL, that is what I've been waiting for.
Then today's writer's block is just an impossible choice (like choosing between children):

If you had to give up swimming, skiing, hiking, or biking for the rest of your life, which would you choose, and why?

WELL I LOVE ALL OF THOSE THINGS SO MUCH I JUST CAN'T PICK!
Anyway today we have-- whatever the fuck this shit is.

I have never gone skiing - cold sets of my asthma
Not much for swiming - never been very boyant
But I am big on hiking and biking.
Basicaly this is an issue my medical history has decided for me. However, my resperatory problems ma force me to give up all of it eventualy.

Stop. Are you always this fucking stupid?
I know for a fact Livejournal has a spell check. There is 0 excuse for this bullshit.

Now befor anyone points out the controlabity of asthma these days let me state that I'm refering more to resperatory distress syndrom which is a condtion that only effects premees.
My epilepsy has me as a nondriver curently so I realy hope not.

10 errors that Firefox caught for me. I didn't even have to prompt this.

Learned something new recently when a teen son of a freand of my mothers had to see a male dr. about pain in his groin. It seems that they were told that he needed to masterbate more because aparently the production of semin in young males can be high enough to create preasher

Why the fuck did I pick this blog? I can't even focus on your dumb thoughts because I'm so focused on your retarded spelling.
How the fuck do you spell "pressure" with an h?

Today a conversation with mom came around to how I was not suposed to have children dou to my health issues.
Frankly I have always figured that with the asthma on top of the resperatory dystress syndrom my health was going to get worse over time any way so what ever.
My children are the best of me and with out them what would the strugle with the health issues be worth any way

There should be an IQ test before you are allowed to have children.

I was infored ysterday that I have aways been a very confient person. I would have to argue that sentament. I suffer from socail phobias that used to be so sever that I used to have to build up the curageo go threw a checkout lane at a store.

I'm surprised she managed to spell phobia correctly.

Crowds are terafieing to me and I find it dificult to speak in public.

Terafieing.
That is so many spankings we might as well move that punishment up to death because that's what will result.

The only reason Im able to be outgoing online is because I dont actualy see anybody so I am able to distance myself from everyone else. I put my book and poetry up on my web sight because I dont realy feal that ether is good enough for publication

OH REALLY? YOUR BOOK MIGHT NOT BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR PUBLICATION?

I am rairly pleased with how my paintigs and such turn out. I have a modicrumb of talent in a veriety of areas but Im not good enough in anyone to make a living threw it. My health has never been good and I have never thought of myself as particularly attracive. The simple fact is they are misinterpriting a blend of abject terror, stuborn resolve and absolute necessity as confidence but I realy did not feal up to arguing the point, besides it would have been just a waist of time.

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh--

The upsetting thing about it wasnt that it was my mother and an aquantance from high school it was that they were claiming that the sever harasment and excessive amount of bullieing I suffered wasnt realy a big deal because Ive always been so self confident. I had no real freands, no suport network, no one to turn to, my schools reaction to me being harrased was to try to have me comited, nothing I have ever done has been good enough, nothing I ever do will be good enough I know this and exsept it.

So I haven't really read any of this yet (I've been doing that school thing where my eyes kind of move along the words but I'm not really focusing on what's in front of me). This is really good, whatever this is.

Got my keyboard today and have three Shadowrun books comeing tomarrow some time.

Wait, what?
You mean that cyberpunk series?

This morning while I was half asleep I thought took up resedence in my brain and grew into an idea that became a theory concering the formation of stars ad glixsies.

Oh wow.
As opposed to all those thoughts that aren't ideas, of course.

We know that when some stars blow up they have enogh core mass to draw back nto themseves colapsing to form black holes ( singularities )Which then draw more matter and even light into them.

I'm amazed someone who confuses the term "supernova" for "blow up" manages the term "core mass".

They know that the center of the galixsy ( as well as others ) is a masive black hole.
We also know that large stars die faster then small stars
Perhapse when the universe was first created It was filled with massive stars, star of such sizee and mass that nothig we have discovered yet avencmes close to rivaling them.

Quick I'll inform NASA.
Dear NASA,
Stop all that deep time research and shit you're doing because some idiot on Livejournal who can't even spell galaxy has figured all this shit out!
YOUR WORK IS DONE GO HOME
Love,
Tim.

Star ofsuch sze would be extreamy short lived n comparisin to hose that exsist now.

Didn't you say a black hole is a singularity?
Isn't a singularity by definition beyond our current realm of understanding?
Oh God I accidentally clicked spell check and I think my computer almost hit the spell check singularity. Just an eternity of waiting for it to catch all the spelling errors but they're being generated as fast as it catches them so it will never finish.
Oh look, her book.
CHAPTER 1.
Dare I?

She trudged threw the rain, her feet ached from walking. The nearest subway access was five blocks away from the warehouse she had purchased and converted to a studio and flat. On top of that she worked as a waitress at a coffee shop.

Waitress affords warehouse.

Her shifts could be anything from four hours to over ten. It was getting late and her legs were starting to distract her from her feet.
She stopped at a light and was sprayed with muddy water as a taxi sped past while she waited to cross. She still had over a block left to walk and was beyond sodden. She hoped that her groceries were okay. She had picked up several things on her way home including bread at an area market just about one block past. It had been cloudy when she had entered the store and by the time she came out it was pouring down rain. She could only hope that the storm would bring the heat wave to an end.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
In any one of my stories someone would have already died or there would have been a sentient supercomputer or some kind of mutant or something--

She reached a decrepit looking building and removed an old heavy looking chain from the gate she stepped into the rustic looking platform of an old open elevator, pulled the gate closed and re-locked it.

Or someone had their fingers broken--

With a press of a button the mechanism lurched into operation. With a creaking protest. The flat part of the warehouse slowly came into view. She had acquired the building at a government auction for less then a thousand dollars. When the elevator finally arrived at the floor level she stepped off into her place.

I'm dying here.

She walked over to what passed for er kitchen and set the bags down. Opening a small refrigerator similar to the ones found in dorm rooms and in some hotel rooms

Mini fridge.
Let's just skip down, Christ all mighty.
On second thought let's not.

I run movies threw my DVD player because it upgraids to a beter qualitiy picture. Not that it maters - My TV is my moniter.

Holy fuck I just spent about half an hour looking for a reaction image to this shit and I couldn't fucking do it.
I think I'm just going to surrender here and do something more constructive with my time.
I mean goddamn.

Oh.

So first thing: important business.Now that that's out of the way: blogs.
The ability she learned in that picture for hitting rank 30, inner quiet, sucks by the way. In theory it's supposed to raise the quality of the next synth you do (which is of dubious usefulness in the first place) but doesn't appear to actually work correctly so it's really useless.

Are there any subjects you either embrace or totally avoid talking about when you meet someone new?

I'll talk about anything because I'm just affable and charming like that.

Plenty! I hate subjects like: What's your family like? Are you single? Do you have an age limit when it comes to dating.

Well fortunately as a man I don't run into this problem ever but I am curious as to what kind of men you're talking to. Who asks shit like that? WOULD YOU DATE AN OLDER GUY BECAUSE YOU HAVE WONDER CHILDBEARING HIPS-- the fuck is wrong with people?

(usually asked by some rusty-looking, 30-year-old dude. Yuck!) Then of course there are those crude questions...I just hate any question asked about my life. Period. Oh...and of course...Can I have your phone number? (I'm extremely introverted and reclusive)

"Baby if I wanted your phone number I'd already have it."

I embrace simple questions like: What genre of music do you like?

Oh I love asking people that question.
Statistically likely response (based on own research figures [95% confidence interval]):
"I dunno I like all kinds of music, lol"
Woooow thanks for dead-ending this topic.

What do you like to do for fun?

"Umm I like hanging out with friends and listening to music (redundant after previous question) what about you, lol?"

What are your hobbies?

"Oh you know, I like to go shopping and talk to friends on Facebook (I'm such a nerd xP)"

What are your future goals?

>Simple questions
>future plans
Also the previous responses have played out for me so many times I don't even bother talking to people and I just assume I already know the answers to their lives.
I'm right more times than I'm wrong by a ridiculous factor.
I'm currently moving on to a new paradigm of categorizing people. It's sort of like how you can categorize books by genre even though within each genre there are several permutations on a similar theme or visual or concept.
I think, after identifying the prime archetypes I can trace the common traits and create a personality profile for the first humans ever.

What's your favorite thing to do on a lazy Sunday?

Okay this gets specifically into her hobbies, so let's see how much we can go on in a hypothetical dialog.

Sleep, write, watch anime/movies, sleep, write, internet, sleep...

So we have "write" twice, "sleep" three times, "the internet"once and we'll just compress movies and anime into a general "watching TV" category.
Considering "sleeping" is about as much as a hobby as "existing" or "breathing" we can just cut that right the fuck out so we're already down three things on a 7 item list.
In my experience most people are pretty guarded about what they write (or they sell it on future potential like "I'll show you some next time") so we can probably cut that out too, though I wouldn't categorically eliminate it yet.
"the internet" is so vague as to be useless so I probably wouldn't even ask, especially considering it probably boils down to "Facebook" anyway so the only thing one could ask her about is "well what kind of movies?" to which the response would be "I like all movies lol" (translation: whatever is popular currently).

Dammit it all to hell! I constantly feel like my life is just all one big fucking smudge of a blur! Everything passes me by and I'm just sitting right in the middle of it all...watching. Sigh. I'm like a ghost...a fucking appartion just drifting through nothingness.

Hell yeah. Being a ghost would be awesome.

There's no sky, there's no air, there's no light.

This sounds awesome. Transcending and turning into pure energy.

There's just darkness all around me.

Oh.
CRAAAAAAAAAAWLIIIIIIIIIING IIIIIIIIIIIN MY SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN THESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUL

Darkness and a whole bunch of bullshit constantly shooting me in the fucking face!

Shit this is hardcore.
Shit just melting from the shadows and shooting you in the face? "From nothing have I come, and to nothing shalt I return."

Oh how I long to be somebody else! I hate who I am. I hate me, I hate them, I hate everything!

And the entire thing is really just a primordial force that can assume the form of anything it comes into contact with but isn't really capable of intelligent thought as we understand it, it just does all of this shit because that's what it does.
It'd be like getting angry at a hurricane for tearing shit up. That's what it does, Christ.
That'd be an awesome villain.

I'm tired of existing...you know? I feel like all I ever do is listen to lies, watch people sneak out the damn door, and fucking scream at me for shit that doesn't make even the slightest bit of sense.

This is a really emo entry, but thanks for giving me an awesome idea.
Actually fuck you, I'm thanking myself. You had relatively little to do with it, really.

Maybe it's me. Is that it? Is it me? And if that's the fucking case then what's the purpose of my being here? Why the fuck am I needed?

Do you want the reality or do you want me to sugarcoat it?
The reality is you are unnecessary and redundant as there are several thousand people that are a close approximation to you.
I guess in a literal sense you could "be needed" to produce something or do some activity (which would invariably be menial) but in the grand scheme of things even that's redundant, especially in light of the fact nearly any of your thousands of close approximations could do the task effectively as well as you can.

No one fucking benefits from my being here. It's not like the world is gonna collapse because one person fucking disappears!

Yeah that's kind of what I was saying.
It's probably better that way, though, because if the world collapsed due to the lack of one person I'm guessing it would have collapsed a long time ago and let's face it, you (or me, or anyone reading this) probably wouldn't be that one person whose absence causes the world to collapse.

I'd give up everything to disappear. I wish I were deaf so I wouldn't hear their voices, I wish I were blind so I wouldn't see their faces!

Did I tell you guys what bullshit the R35 leves are?
The rewards are fucking rad on paper but there's no fucking way you can do them at rank 30, especially since two of the three I've gotten required a separate subcraft I don't have.
The start of every 10 ranks is incredibly awkward as you can't quite do the new leves yet but the old ones are way too easy and don't give the skill points they would have previously.

I wish I were mute so I wouldn't have to answer such retarded questions or talk to such ignorant beings

I was about to go on about my dumb FFXIV character but I suddenly had a rush of strange memories at her talking about being mute. Anyone remember that show John Doe and there was that weird cult that only spoke in sign language?
That show had a lot of potential but wasn't very good and then they canceled it.
Good premise ruined by Fox writers, I think.

I wish I was gone so I wouldn't have to stand in their presence and endure all of this.

Oh yeah, anyway: almost rank 31, though, so I'm hoping it'll alleviate somewhat. I (maybe foolishly) bought tawing training instead of glovemaking or cobbler training but I kind of figured with all the fur I was going to be making in the coming levels (because gigantoad skin is almost impossible to get reliably) tawing would probably come in handy but now I'm not so sure with most of the rank 35 leves revolving around gloves or shoes and I'll apparently need every advantage.

I hate people who always want something, but they treat you like fucking dirt!

I'm amazed people trade with me at all in FFXIV. I get these insanely one-sided deals constantly and people thank me!
I guess it really is as I've always said:
common birth, common man.
Also bizarrely people seek me out specifically to repair their leather shit now. I get tells from people I've never even heard of. I guess it's because I am apparently like 1 of 20 people that can repair half this shit but goddamn.
Oh, there are 171 people on my server 30 or higher.
That's not very many considering there are over 20,000 total.

But most of all....I hate the looks in their eyes. I hate the way they all look at me!!!

Eh, whatever. Love me or hate me, your money is all the same to me.

My Sony Walkman is here and it's awesome.

And it is the year 1982.
Gonna pop my Flock of Seagulls tape in and go for a walk--

I love it. Instead of downloading a measly 250 songs to it (like my lame Sansa),

You can now pop a tape in which contains an entire 12 songs!
Of course after song 5 you have to flip the tape over and after a while the tape gets a little old so the end of the one side starts to sound funny--
ask your grandmother.

I bought it in red because that's one of my favorite colors, besides black and purple of course.

Of course.

For the past two days I've had this strange headache that's been killing me. Literally....

Literally.
I am literally dying from this headache.

Well, technically it's not a headache since it's in the back of my head...

>technically not a headache because it's in the back of my HEAD
>back of the HEAD ACHES
>not a HEADACHE
Welp.

In fact, I hate "family" gatherings period. Drama always happens and somehow I always get caught up in the middle of it and take blows that weren't meant for me.

I love it when these bloggers play innocent. I can't be sure they're at fault because I'm not actually there but I'd bet money they're not guiltless.

I also miss the stars. I miss seeing so many in the sky. I remember that...as a child...I would gaze at them from my bedroom window and see that odd red, glowing light blinking on top of the water tower. They were so bright, so filled with life, and no matter what I had just went through it would soothe my nerves.

That light on the water tower actually isn't a star. It's a light that keeps low-flying planes from hitting it.

I think stars represent some sort of hope. I also believe that for all the billions of stars in the sky, each of them represents a person that has lived on this planet.

I think they represent balls of burning hydrogen and helium myself.

Then again, what if a star was some kind of guide?

Astrology? What's that?
I'm inventing this entire belief on the fly, here.

Suppose they're there to help guide you on some sort of path and it's possible to communicate with it and call upon its power?

ON THE FLY, I TELL YOU.

I hate mankind. There's just no point in them.

REJOICE, MORTALS! YOUR SLAVERY TO THE FALSE EMPEROR ENDS TODAY.
Oh, uh-- wow, this entry sure has gone on a while.
Considering what follows is WRITER'S BLOCKS AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE I think that's it for today.

YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME

WHAT THE FLYING FUCK AM I READING?
So let me get this straight: I gotta not only agree to read each entry before I read it (natch) I gotta click the "back" button for each additional entry, like it's some kind of goddamn prize I want to be reading?
Also your avatar appears to be Tails of Sonic the Hedgehog fame in a Wehrmacht (Nazi) uniform. Great.
Also hi everyone. For all you naysayers about FFXIV I direct you to the recent good news. I told you fuckers you were babbies who needed to learn some goddamn patience.

Will you write about the vital importance of clean water to support Blog Action Day? Do you think journaling can help raise awareness and promote a healthier planet?

"Raising awareness" has to be number one on my list of "all time favorite things liberal white people say to feel self-important".
Like, what, problems are fixed because people are aware and upset and willing to have a polite conversation about it? Like the road to a developed country doesn't lie on concrete, steel and industry? Are you people oblivious to the thousands upon thousands of years of development and strife it took to get us this far?

Also I'd like to meet the person who would argue clean water isn't important. I think most people are keenly aware that clean water is important to having any standard of living.
Planet's already fucked up. We've developed on so much land with our paved roads, refined metals to make cars that pollute the air with petroleum exhaust, and keep making babies for families consisting of 1,400 kids that eat all of the food and consume all of our available resources.

Oh yeah like you'd be so much happier banging this horseshit out on a rock in a hut somewhere. Fuck you.
Planet maybe fucked but industry didn't ruin it. Corporate greed did.

Way to go you ignorant monkeys. And even if we were to find another planet to Terra-form, it'd just be a matter of time before that one's trashed, too.

>Even if we find another planet to terraform
>implying our current technological basis allows for terraforming
Hi from the past, I guess.
Also I think this planet is suitable. Didn't have to look very far, even.

What does this day mean to you?

Date posted: September 12th, 2010.
Well I know what I was thinking September 12th, 2010.
10 DAYS UNTIL FFXIV HOLY SHIT TIME IS EXPANDING BEFORE MY VERY EYES

Wake up, do something, go to sleep.

Note to America: Please get over it. It's been nine years already.

Yeah America, come the fuck on. What happened? Some of your shit got blown up. IT'S NOT LIKE MOST OF YOU EVEN KNEW ANYONE INVOLVED, CHRIST.
I'm just being unreasonable for effect, honestly. In all seriousness I have no strong feelings about September 11th.
I know that's probably not the popular thing to say, being an American an all, but fuck it. I don't know anyone involved~

Some say this brought the country together as a united collective. A collective who said, "Hey. These guys don't like us and they killed our people. We go to war for this."

Maybe you're unfamiliar with a term called revenge. Might want to look into it sometime. It's kind of important to understand revenge and retribution if you want to understand how most people tend to operate.
Also if there was ever a good reason to go to war it's because someone is killing you.
I mean, what, we were supposed to roll over and accept Japan bombing Pearl Harbor?
Actually you'd probably say yes, Captain Anime.
Of course we learned very quickly no one knew what they were doing in the war and the situation evolved into a bad idea but hey, hindsight is always 20/20.
Personally I said we should have built a giant fighting robot in the place where the towers stood and next person to attack us gets the Gundam up on their shit, but no one listened.

What good has the war done for the homeland? It made the country into a prison.

Went out today (admittedly to a place I didn't want to go but whatever, I had a choice to not go) came home, about to play FFXIV. How am I a prisoner, exactly?
In fact I could literally leave this country right now if I wanted. Name one prisoner (besides Lindsay Lohan OH TIMELY) who can leave jail at will.

A prison making its own citizens the prisoners, only to cater to illegal immigrants who take advantage of the system.

Make it easy for you: Light the nukes and start over.

I'd really like to see you survive a nuclear holocaust. Ever play Fallout? No? Well it'd be that much suffering with half the intrigue.
And now there are no more posts. I see how why there's one post per page. If there wasn't you'd be out of posts in about five minutes and far, far less annoying.

4.0

I heard Gamespot gave FFXIV a 4.0. About 5 people linked me that article like that meant I was supposed to stop enjoying myself. Good, here's me giving a fuck. I hope IGN gives it a 0.0. Doesn't affect me.
BUT THOSE FAGS WILL BE SHOWN WHAT FER ANYWAY: TODAY IS PATCH DAY AND ALL WILL BE FIXED-- no I'm just fucking with you.
Just kidding best patch ever:

- The chat log will no longer close while entering text during the following processes:
- When viewing a bazaar
- When setting up a bazaar
- During gathering
- During synthesis

That shit was annoying. Even better was when I'd be hitting enter on another hilarious message sent to my linkshell as my dumb character was finishing her synth and then I'd click rapid synth instead of sending it and she'd cause a nuclear explosion while smithing.
Armorer rank 16, too, so I know all about annoying shit while crafting.
Oh right, blogs.
Seriously the game isn't bad. It's not a 10.0 greatest game ever made but it's pretty fucking engrossing. I guess if you're used to instant gratification WoW and Call of Duty shit you might want to steer clear but for anyone with IQ above room temperature and a little patience, go for it.

If you were a detective (fictional or real), who would be your arch nemesis? Would you have a catch phrase? If so, what would it be?

My nemesis? Probably my dad and cousin. And brother. If there's anyone I wanna catch doing something wrong it's them. I would stalk them for a life time. My catch phrase? Probably "Gotcha, Bitch!" Or one of me and my sisters Detective Meatball phrases. But I can't find the paper to tell you guys any of them right now.

Cool story, bro.
If I were a detective my nemesis would be a corrupt politician/mob boss who had me wrongfully imprisoned for witnessing a crime, and after I got out my goal in life would be to hunt him down and fucking murder him.
Yeah man that'd be an awesome story.
I wouldn't have a catch phrase because I'd be a "man with no name" type character.
Fuck, my idea is way more awesome than yours. HURRRR MY DAD IS MY NEMESIS. What are you, 14?
Oh wait, probably.

Based on the books on your bookshelf, what conclusions would people draw about you?

Already answered this Wednesday, wait--

That I really like Vampires? And no, that does not mean Edward Cullen you Twi-Tards! The books on my shelf are all by Sherrilyn Kenyon.

OH THAT'S SO MUCH BETTER. That's seriously like saying "and no, you fucking Stephen King fags, my bookshelf is filled with Clive Barker."
In the entire history of fiction there has been ONE GOOD VAMPIRE BOOK. I'm sure you can guess what it is, but in case you can't it starts with a "D-" and ends in "-racula"

Ok, I just tried to write a full three paragraphs. And then it dissapeared. So to make a long story short I'm really sick.

Okay.
Now here's a fanfiction of her Sims 3 characters-- what the fuck?

So I'm sitting at my laptop when I suddenly here a banging noise from the kitchen.

>Here

So I get up to go check it out. I find my mom by the stove with a large hammer and a sheet of wax paper. She sits a piece of chicken on the wax paper and then folds the paper over it. She then pounds the chicken until it's almost flat. Holes appear in the wax and stick to the chicken. So I made a joke "Jeez, we're going to be eating more wax than chicken." She flips a fit and starts telling my older sister over the phone how much of a bitch I am, and how I'm such a picky eater and she wishes I would just leave her alone and not eat it if I don't like it. So I storm off and came here to ask you guys if that really sounds fair?

Nope, don't care.

I hardly ever complain, if I don't like something I just wrinkle my nose in disgust and grab one of my tv dinners that she gets specifically because I'm such a picky eater. She's the one who constantly throws fits if I won't eat her cooking.

Well to be fair you do sound like a cunt.
Oh and this is her very first post.
Well then. Leveling marauder and it sucks. HOW DO YOU MISS SWINGING A MASSIVE AXE THIS MAKES NO SENSE--
Oh well I guess this isn't so bad with skull splitter now. Steadfast > Skull splitter looks cool and does loads of damage (when it hits) (which is never)
Anyway I think that's it for today. Short entry~