Twisties

TORNADOES ARE COMING THROUGH TOWN OH NO.
Hope nothing hits my shitty high school preventing my journey there tomorrow~
Anyway here we have a blog.
It's called "Zameenah's World". Presumably "Zameenah" is some kind of nickname she's picked for herself and not, you know, her real name.
I don't know what prompts me to say this because the kids at my school have crazy fucking names so it could easily be her name and it wouldn't be the craziest name I encounter in a day.

If you decided to start a band, what would you name your first album?

I think I'd just do like what Led Zepplin did and just give them numbers.
Or name it after Warhammer things but come to think of it I think a band already does that. They're called Bolt Thrower. Apparently Games Workshop signs off on it because they even use official Warhammer art as their album cover which most of that shit would make for a great metal album cover anyway.

Dream Dragon. Duh.

OF COURSE. DREAM DRAGON.
The fuck?

What's your favorite thing to do on long car rides?

Drive. Because I'm an adult.
Or play Pokemon. Whichever.

Sleep.
Or read.
Both while listening to music.

>sleeping while listening to music
How do people even do that? You people must like some boring music.
Here's a post entitled "Why is it..." which made me think we were about to launch off into a Jerry Seinfeld bit but no:

that some men are so damn stupid and stubborn and just not worth...me?

I'm FAbulous.

And I know it.

BOOYAH!

YOU TELL IT SISTER!
Now here's a quiz she took that tells her how great her personality is and I took the same quiz and it called me overly introverted and paranoid so THANKS A LOT.

I'm sitting here watching the Last Dragon and I'm laughing my ass off. This shit used to be my favorite movie in middle school.

Movie's awesome.
I GOTS THE SHINE
BRUCE LEROY

I was IN LOVE with Taimak (the lead), or Bruce Leroy as they call him in the movie. The acting is horrible, the lines are horrible.

No shit. It's a parody of Kung Fu movies.

I know some of you are gonna laugh and find this trivial, but I was almost in a three car accident today.

I know some of you are gonna laugh and find this trivial, but I almost fucking died today.

A bad one. It seems a brown truck on the other side of the highway going in the opposite direction from me tried to change lanes, lost control, jumped the median, hit a car, spun out and then hit another vehicle(a red truck). A truck right in front of me.

Holy shit that sounds awesome.
Oh here's another quiz she took called the Dante's Inferno Hell Test.
Let's see.
HERESY HERE I COME I'm sure.
I find this question leading, Dante's Inferno Hell Test:

Have you wished bad things upon your fellow countrymen?

WHO HASN'T?

Do you use God's name in vain (ex. "God damn it," "Oh my God")?

Now you're just being silly.

Have you ever taken pleasure in someone else's misery?

Do you have any pagan religious beliefs?

Define "pleasure" and "pagan" please.

Have you ever intentionally given bad advice?

Does "advice I think might not be entirely sound so I can observe the result" count?
Okay this is definitely leading:

Hammering away on scandals is a good way to damage those with whom you disagree politically. True/false.

It is a good way to damage someone whom you disagree with.
That doesn't make it right but that is a good tactic, yes.
And the results are in:

Level 6 - The City of Dis Heretics Extreme

DAAAANG, SON!
She was lustful and gluttonous which in terms of religious crimes mine is way cooler.

Men suck!

Sigh.

That is all.

Herp derp.
Well I wasn't treacherous so I escaped the greatest crime there is.
Although I did say I'd assassinate someone if it meant I'd become powerful and wealthy which I don't consider a wrathful action. It's just business and I'm sure they'd do the same.

I'm so bored.

And I have $20 in my pocket.


z

Buy bullets and maybe rent a gun.
How much are bullets? I get the impression they're actually more expensive than I expect.
Let's see.
Assuming I own the manliest gun there is, the Colt Python, which chambers a .357--
Oh. 25 bucks for 50. 50 cents a bullet?
How can you afford not to shoot people?

Yesterday, I got up at 6am and got ready to go meet the Team in Training Team.

The team in training team.
So the team that's training to be a team, what?
This sounds like something my school would dream up.

That's the team that's training for the marathon to help raise money for Leukemia research.

But to do that we're going to meet every Tuesday at 12:15 but if you have a class then you still have to attend so get the other teachers there to teach your class unless you have an intern in which case you can let them teach but you're not supposed to leave them alone with the students so you better send another teacher who does have planning to watch them and hey if we can't meet Tuesdays at 12:15 we'll meet Thursdays at 2:00 because everyone is free then so why don't we just meet then instead and FUUUUUUUCK.
Here's an entry entitled "Sparta was part of Greece!" and I'm not sure what she means because at several points in Greek history each Greek state was definitely its own independent state.
I guess she's arguing they were ethnically Greek which, yeah, but--

According to Byzantine sources, some parts of the Laconian region remained pagan until well into the 10th century AD

YEAH FIGHT THE POWER.

at around 1:30am listening to the David Bowie cd that a certain someone made for me when all of a sudden, I hear hysterical blood curtling fighting going on behind my apartment. The young couple behind me is fighting again. But this time, it's bad. She thinks he's hiding something from her and she just wants him to tell her.

So speaking of "fighting the power" in that Rift game there are two sides, the Guardians and the Defiant and I picked the Defiant because I'm hardcore like that but we are complete pussies when it comes to insane PVP versus the Guardians.
I don't even understand how this logically works because you'd think the net population of this game would be of a base intelligence but apparently everyone stupid picks the Defiant.
I mean I know this happened in World of Warcraft where all the kids went to the Alliance but honestly that made sense because the Alliance looked like "the good guys" and so only people wanting to avoid the kids picked the Horde but in Rift all races look effectively the same so there's no real aesthetic reason to pick one over the other.
I guess plot wise the Defiant feel more edgy with "LOL THERE IS NO GOD" but honestly it's not like they're raging atheists-- they admit there are gods (because in the Rift world there provably are gods) they just said the gods are assholes and we're forging our own destiny.
Also it doesn't help that the Guardians kind of cause THE END OF THE WORLD and somehow still manage to tout themselves as the righteous good guys.
You know, exactly how I imagine religious people in real life would act.
They argue the Defiants were brokering in technology they didn't understand (some sort of magic bullshit fueled by dragons who are evil) but when they destroyed it they unleashed a guy named Regulos who's apparently so badass his only other name appears to be "The Destroyer" so good fucking work, Guardian assholes.
So I'm kind of torn between these two sides. One I agree with philosophically and aesthetically but the other actually seems to attract a higher caliber of player so I'm not really sure what to do at this point.

watching VH1 and their show on race and it's funny as hell. You should try to catch it if you can.

Did you know the two groups that are the LEAST married are black women and Asian men? LMAO.

Oh no shit?
Wait, we can set up some sort of extrapolation matrix with this shit because statistically the interracial couple most likely to occur is black men and white women.
No, this is already doing my head in.
I'm just going to call you an idiot and move on.

Did any of you ever notice that Asian men never seem to get the poontang in Hollywood movies? LMAO.

I dunno I just Googled Jet Li's wife and she's admittedly not "Hollywood poontang" but she's pretty cute.
Jackie Chan didn't do too bad for himself either.
Nice work, gentlemen.
Now there's a quiz she took that reports she's most like Greta Garbo which--
I don't even know how to address this.
Anyway I think I have something to do now maybe I don't know--

Oh-- oh.

So there are blogs and then there are motherfucking blogs, goddamn.
Lately I've been settling a lot but it really has been a "best of a boring lot" situation.
But here we have this blog and I haven't even really read it yet but I know it's already a winner.
Check this fucking crap out.
We have all the signs: Agree you're 18 (!) or older before reading, agree you're 18 (!) or older before reading and the font is the tiniest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. I've seen larger bacteria.
No kidding I'm zoomed in 1000% and it's approaching size 16 font by any normal scale.
I think we have a black weeaboo and I'm not sure what to call a black weeaboo because "weeaboo" by definition means "white". Bleeaboo?
No idea.
I'm skipping the first entry because it's some dumb story. Already off to a great start.
Also here's today's writer's block so we can all stay current:

Which song makes you happy every time you hear it, and why?

It is hard to pick.

The song that makes me happy every time I hear it would have to be between two songs, Koda Kumi's Black Cherry [*] and Far East Movements I PARTY because the beat in the songs makes them so uplifting which makes me want to dance.

No idea what these songs even are but they sound amazing.
I am familiar with Koda Kumi, however, because she's a delicious yellow girl and also she was on a comedy show I watched briefly and basically the hosts trolled the fuck out of her but she was too dumb to realize it.
It was gooooood times.
Now here's a post called "My Tweets" and it's like she's doing everything in her power to keep me from reading her bullshit.
Let me tell you there's no quicker way to get me to lose interest than to mention twating or posting your IM chat logs.

A couple of months ago I had decided the best thing to do for my hair was to start all over again.

So as I mentioned a couple of times I teach at a high school and because teaching is already a woman dominated profession and my high school is really shitty most of the teachers are black women.
I had no idea 1. women could talk about hair so much and 2. that black women spend upwards of 9 hours every weekend getting that mess straightened out.
I mean what the fuck who has that kind of time?

When I was little I use to have extremely long hair that went down to basically my butt, but I couldn't handle my mom constantly pulling on my hair and causing little bumps to form at the scalp. So at 5 years old, I cut it all off up to the base of my neck.

It's around this time in the story I'm looking for some bureaucratic chore to do.
Listen I'm sure this story picks up but I got this form that's a series of letters and numbers to fill out.

Of course my mom was furious, but as time passed I went through a lot of stuff with my hair. My hair has grown to my shoulders and because of stress caused bald spots and I am experiencing all this stuff before the age of 18.

Tell me about the relaxer, please.

Now, almost at 18, I have had my hair cut because I have had a chemical relaxer.

Oh what do you know?
I don't know what any of this shit is because I have the HAIR OF SAMSON and I basically don't even need to comb it so whatever.

Now I want my hair to grow back naturally without a chemical relaxer and I decided to get what most people would consider the BC, or the Big Chop which means cutting your hair to a certain length in order to grow out your natural hair to whatever length you want it at.

Waiting for my bro to show up so we can talk about AC/DC or something but then I remember I'm sitting at home and I'm ostensibly doing this for my own amusement.

I got it cut almost a year ago and I've seen little to no growth, and to make matters worse I've been putting more chemicals on it, I've bleached my hair and put some ridiculous red hair dye on it and look like a Black Ronald McDonald walking around. Soon, im dying my hair to its

So true story I just learned recently: "dying" as in "putting dye into something" is actually spelled "dyeing" in what has to be a violation of every grammar and spelling rule I've ever learned. That's like the fifth word I've realized I've been spelling wrong for years in a just a few months, and it's all thanks to Final Fantasy.

natural hair color and I still refuse to get a chemical relaxer. I am using this post now to just kind of post my trials and tribulations on my journey to healthy natural hair, hopefully I can get someone to try this with me as well.

Are we still talking about this? For real?
Listen to me, bitch: I can't ignore you any harder than I am right now so please relax before I invent a new tier of not giving a fuck.

I've come across Youtube videos that say the best way to start is by training your hair or wrapping your hair and the best way to contribute to your hair growth is by taking vitamins and getting exercise in.

Am I really reading a blog about a Youtube video about haircare? Really?
I have to meditate under a waterfall for several years so I can attain a level of "not giving a fuck" never before witnessed by man.

Today, I deep conditioned my hair with the Cholesterol deep conditioner and I tested out the Saran wrap, wrap and it actually worked pretty well. I also took a vitamin to start the process.

All right I can't take this anymore. Let's move on.
Oh man two entries entitled "My Tweets" in a row and they're hiding behind a "YOU MUST BE 18 OR OLDER TO READ THIS" cut.
Also I just realized I can't type the letters "cu" without instinctively hitting the "n" right after it.
Now there's this ol' gem:

What subject you like to become more knowledgeable about, and why?

Definitely the 666 rituals of slaying the demon.

I would definitely love to be more knowledgeable about language because its how we communicate and its important to communicate with others of different races and since people have their own dialects its really important :)

Why is it really important?
I mean besides the obvious "to talk to brown girls" there's no reason to learn their heathen language.
That is a good reason, though, don't get me wrong but you know. It's not like there's one beyond that.
Oh I guess there is: if you plan on getting mixed up in international espionage.
So yes there are good reasons for learning other languages, huh. The two noblest deeds to which a man can aspire: scoring delicious girls of various colors and SLAYING THE ENEMIES OF MAN.
I'm not sure what that says about my view of international politics when the only two reasons I can come up with to learn a language is to steal their women and murder their dictators. I guess that puts me somewhere square in the 12th century.
Where I feel I often belong, honestly.

So today me and my two friends: Nykol and Tabi ( who is a writer on here) had an amazing day at the mall.

Oh, do share.

At the mall we go to where we live, there are these two guys: One that looks like Tae Yang, and one that looks like Chan Sung <3.>
Huh a black girl with a thing for Asian guys.
That's gotta be about the rarest breed there is.

we were passing by his friend who looks like TimothyDeLaGhetto nudged him in the arm and asked,

Is that really his name?
I mean I see some names in any given day. I can't tell what's really a name and what's a joke anymore.

I felt so stupid for not working up the courage to talk to this guy.

Whoa big yawn just now.
Really tired from lugging desks up and down flights of stairs and having to deal with sassy cunts all day.
Also you already have the courage you just lack something interesting to say which sets off your doubt.
It's like Jesus taught: you have the entire cosmos inside you, you just have to let the power free.
Oh wait, no, that was Athena from Saint Seiya.
I consider Saint Seiya a religious text alongside Fist of the North Star and The Odyssey. Shut up. It's my religion.
If we consider all fiction (except the bad fiction) one continuity (as I do) then it goes a little something like this:
The Epic of Gilgamesh
Some unspecified amount of time later
The Iliad
The Odyssey
The Aeneid
Unspecified amount of time later
Beowulf
Unspecified amount of time later
Sir Gawain and the Green Knight
Le Morte d'Arthur
Unspecified amount of time later
Orlando Furioso
100 years later
Dante's Inferno
450-500 years later
The Count of Monte Cristo
120-140 years later
Saint Seiya
150-160 years later
Fist of the North Star
28,000 years later
The Horus Heresy
10,000 years later
WARHAMMER.
Note: stuff happened in between these stories that I didn't bother fleshing out such as the collected works of Edgar Allan Poe and H.P. Lovecraft.
Oh and I've come to the beginning of this blog. That's really handy.
Well I can't say that was the worst blog I've ever read (mostly because I didn't actually read much of it) but good things don't come up often when it comes to Livejournal so I'll take them when they do.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH

As you may well recall from last entry, my eyes have been scourged by the fiery darts of Phoebus Apollo, and so today's entry brought my already reeling eyeballs to a state of milky blindness.
Who decided bright (almost neon) green looked good on a really bright orange background? This idiot, apparently.

The only schools I’ve ever gone to have been Catholic ones. For a number of reasons I won’t go into now, looking back on this often makes me cynical, and angry.

k
I went to regular public school and I ended up cynical and angry too. Wonder how that happened?

I often heard this complaint at my Jesuit university: “I resent having to take three theology classes, and treat them as if I believed them. To me, it’s like taking a class on fiction.” Now I would agree.

I wouldn't. You went to a school taught by Jesuits. What did you expect?
That's like when I'm surprised my school goes full retard around snow. I went to a school in the (barely) South, what did I want?

In 7th grade, my Religion teacher was my Science teacher.

Hmm.
Must have been a fascinating lesson on the theory of the humors or perhaps the music of the spheres.

I sometimes wonder if my education could be considered child abuse: I memorized miracles, mysteries, and lives of the saints for quizzes and texts.

Preaching to the choir. I'm about to read The Scarlet Letter for the third fucking time.
I'm 22 and it's still child abuse as far as I'm concerned.

My favorite spells were always prayers to Mary. So that is how I will end this post: Salve Regina, mater misericordiae: vita, dulcedo …

Get the flamethrower. There's a witch afoot.
Here's my summary of the next entry: "there's a summary on Wikipedia of OH FUCK MY EYES ARE MELTING STOP LINKING IN THAT COLOR."

Last week we went to the museum. A whole whale is hanging from the ceiling. Bigger than big! OK, have you ever seen a Volkswagen car that's like a bug? Um huh, you know what I'm talking about.

Yeah, it's called a Volkswagen Beetle. It's sort of named after a bug?

That's how big the heart of a blue whale is. I know it's not possible, but if that heart was in me could I love more?

... You do know the size of your heart, contrary to what Dr. Seuss taught you, has nothing to do with your ability to-- never mind, I'm talking about a girl who thinks witchcraft is real.

(I like to believe that when I write fiction, I explore the possible beauty and meaning of every moment, every image in life. But I am pretty damn vulnerable to despair and distraction when I'm actually living my own life.)

Wow you're really boring. I bet your fiction sucks.
Excuse me I'm just going to EV train my Larvitar while you talk. I'm sure you won't mind.
160 HP, 252 Att, 96 Spe. That shouldn't be too difficult.
There, 290 of 510 EVs knocked out in just a few short minutes.

I am an open-minded person, but I have also learned to be a realist. Please read this explanation of rape culture. I'll wait.

Now that you understand, a little bit, how a young woman is vulnerable in a patriarchal society, I expect you to understand why I will be cautious around you if you are a) a man I don't know very well b) a man as old/older than as my parents (hint: they're both under 50) or c) ANYONE I don't know very well.

Oh look, Foundations of Education has returned.
Oh, Tyranitar needs 1,250,000 exp to get to 100. That's pretty high, actually.
Yet another reason in an ever-expanding list of reasons Ghost Pokemon are the master race of Pokemon: on average they only need 800,000 exp.

I need to protect myself, and there are some things I would like you to assume about me:

Oh I found your protection right here.
Dirty Harry wishes this existed when he was tooling around San Fransisco.
Oh, no her protection is the following: RULES RULES RULES DON'T TALK TO ME.
Don't flatter yourself. I wasn't planning on it.
Christ, your rulebook is bigger than the Warhammer 40,000 3rd edition rulebook.
Which is like 400 pages, incidentally.

I would only like you to contact and communicate with me in the appropriate venue, i.e., the circle we know each other in.

So... MSN?

If we know each other through the Time Bank, message me through that system ONLY, and ONLY if it is about a volunteer opportunity.

Listen I just need a Cranidos if you don't have one you can just say so and I'll find someone else to trade with--

2) I am not looking for a romantic partner right now. Thanks but no thanks.

You know what? I'll just use my Sceptile instead, actually.

3) I have a few circles of friends my own age (let's just say mid-20s). Of course I would like to get to know you at the appropriate venue (see #1), but outside of the clubs and organizations we both belong to, I am satisfied with my social life. Let's keep our relationship (read: friendship) professional.

I SAID FORGET IT, JESUS.
I thought you were cool but it's like talking to a fucking lawyer over here.

4) If you are a man and you're showing an inappropriate interest in me (as defined by points 1-3), I am going to look you up on the Wisconsin Circuit Court open records system, and then I am going to report you to the moderator of whatever group we know each other from.

>inappropriate interest
>friendly conversation outside of her "social circle" would technically fall under that category
Glad I'm a man and don't have to worry about this rape stuff. This seems like a really complicated affair.
Seriously a .44 Mag is like a thousand bucks. You can even get the Clint Eastwood variant.
Worth thinking about.
Well this whole EV thing has really taken off so I better stop here so I can focus on this much RAW EXCITEMENT (when fighting hundreds of Seakings is more interesting than your blog you have fucked up in a way that I can't even describe properly).

MONETIZE MY BLOG!?

I could monetize this son of a bitch and make pennies, pennies, I say, per month! I won't do that, though, because then I can't gloat more about all these shitty blogs with ads all over their shit. I provide all this high quality entertainment for free and you fags are asking for money? I think not.
Oh right, today's blog. I see ads, but that might just be Livejournal~
I didn't even really read today's blog before diving into this entry, but from the sounds of it our boy needs knocked down a peg. As Don Henley said (I hate the Eagles) "kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down."

That's a bad word now, isn't it? ^_~

^_~ faggot.

Well. School was quite fun today.

>school
>fun
what

Swedish class went by rather quickly, after which I had some lunch and then proceeded to call a certain English girl who sounded very sleepy . So damn cute.

HEY GUYS I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. I'M JUST SAYING.

Anyways, that really made me happy and energetic and just... happy! <3

Whatever, putz. By your emoticons I'm sure you're just upset she doesn't have a dick.

I banded together with the more talented people in my class, gamesdev-wise, and we've decided to make a semi-3D roleplaying-game in Microsoft's XNA environment.

You can't have part of a dimension, people. Either it's full 3D or it's 2D with models rendered in 3D. Knock this whole "2.5D" shit off.

Also, mischievous rabbit is mischievous? =D When I got home from school, her damn cage was open and she was happily hopping about in the living room. ^^';

:|
Ok gearing up for the world's longest entry ever, and I'm actually going to read at least part of it before skipping.

Upon walking through the gates to the arrivals hall, my eyes find a very specific girl amongst the other randomers, smiling. I walked towards her, but she disappeared. Then I heard a voice that I've heard through my headset oh-so many times before. Upon turning around, I was welcomed by the most heartwarming embrace I've ever felt. I've known her online for over a year, and I just couldn't believe she could be as nice a person in real life as she was online, but... she's all that, and much more.

k
also: lol internet romances

I acted as her pillow on the train ride back.

Heh

A while later, Bry came back down and said she couldn't sleep. She cuddled up beside me on the couch, and... we kissed. And Gods, did it feel wonderful.

I hate it when people say "gods" instead of "God" because they're Pagan or some shit. Talk proper, Christ. I don't believe in God or gods or Jesus Christ either but that doesn't keep me from invoking his name every other second, inevitably at something douchey one of you assholes said. Dipshits.

Saturday, the 8th of August, was a very special day.

Ah, she slobbed your knob. Say no more, my man.

The most important reason the 8th is a special day, though, is that it was the day upon which me and Bryony officially got together, which is something that means so much I can't put words to it.

Yep.
Really you don't need to go into details, bro. I get you.

Skegness was really fun.

Excuse me?
I don't know what (or where, for that matter) "Skegness" is but it sounds treatable.
Ok I can't read any more, good grief.
Moving on~

Meaning, I can play a song perfectly in theory, but my damn hands just can't do it.

That's a convenient excuse.

Then I made a new EVE Online account (shock!) and played 'till four in the morning.

Oh you played a screen saver until four in the morning?

It appears as though 2009 is approaching rather quickly.

Oh what, I just skipped nine months' worth of entries? Goddamn, kid. You're boring as fuck. I'd read a sentence, then skip, read a sentence, then skip for a whole nine months? Bro. Seriously. Liven up. Say something interesting once in a while. It won't kill you to have a personality.
This blog is left with so little content (five minutes spread across at least nine whole months) I'm left with little else to say.
So here's a humorous picture to amuse you:

THE OMEN

The Omen is one of my favorite movies of all time. I think, in the discourse of the movie, everyone can learn what an omen is, and more importantly, what an omen definitely is not.

A double hamburger with 9 pieces of bacon, no fries, is NOT the same as a double quarter pounder with no cheese, extra bacon, and a medium fry... especially when your superior brings them side by side for comparison.

So you went to McDonald's, ordered a ridiculously specific sandwich (seriously, a specified amount of bacon? Can you be more OCD?) and then complained to the manager when you didn't get eight (UND PRECISELY EIGHT!) pieces of bacon? Now you can't eat there anymore because "Mr. Clerk" whom you've known "for three years" (close, first name-based relationship) will spit in your food because you deserve it.

Ageis J. Hyena, signing off, over and out.

Ageis J. Hyena. Really. I have to assume by uh-gee-is you mean "aegis" which is something entirely different than what you spelled. Aegis was a breastplate associated with Zeus or Athena and later came to mean a sponsorship. Ageis is... You made that the fuck up.

So yeah. I have asthma, and my medication ran out. My normal "supplier" has left the country, literally.

Ha, ha shit sucks.

My father won't help me, he thinks asthma doesn't exist.

According to all my medical books it sure doesn't. What does exist, however, is DEMONIC POSSESSION. You're against God is the problem.
Ha, ha I fucking love the internet. She had a stupid poll that two people took and split the answers 50/50. Awesome. WHICH ISP SHOULD I USE? Use this one. No use the other. All she needed was a third "use neither of those shitty ISPs" and I would have voted for it, completing the dickery that is the internet.

Well shit, my brother is planning something and says I'll make trouble if I knew what it was.

Shit, destroyed.

Well shit. I donate $115 to pawpet, then I call a furry radio show to do a reading and talk for 15 minutes or so.

Pawpet. Also I like how you say you literally can't afford asthma medication and you're arguing with clerks at McDonald's about the price of a hamburger but still somehow find 115 dollars to donate to Pawpet. This reminds me of that one girl who was complaining about affording rent but managed to donate 8% of her paycheck to her church. This makes even less sense because you didn't have the threat of eternal damnation hanging over your stupid head.

for those of you under a rock, and I don't have the link handy, a couple in the UK is divorcing because one got caught with another person as an affair... in Second Life.

Yes, not following news in Second Life is really living under a rock.

So I recently did a reading for one of my repeat customers. It was a rather good one...

A what?

Nate, the roomie who is finally on his way out, let slip that my brother popped the question to his girlfriend. And apparently she accepted. Roughly 3 weeks ago.

I don't think Nate meant to let that slip, but he did.

Why do I have an overwhelming urge of dread over this?

I know your kind. You would have gotten an overwhelming sense of dread if he hadn't asked, had but she rejected him, etc. You just wanted to seem all cryptic and psychic then. Fuck you.

Though I did update my tarot site's profiles. They are reviewing profiles under new rules starting monday, and I tried my best to write them to go according with the new rules.

Maybe you have a different understanding of Tarot than I do, but I don't think there are "new rules". Unless you're playing a card game with them (which is their intended purpose) even then that's like saying "new rules for poker".

Had I of known. If only I had known. x.x The people down there are making fortunes as well as reading them.

If only I had've known. Also that's really archaic. "If only I had known" works just as well in 2008.
But forgive me I don't read fortunes like you, so please don't smite me with your furry precognition powers.

Ah well. I'ma websmurf a bit, then go back down and mingle s'more with a railroading lion, a cheetah-lioness, a kirin, and a tiger.

Lions and cheetahs can't reproduce, I don't think. A kirin, to you non-faggots, is either a chimerical mythical creature in Eastern Asian mythos, or a giraffe. You'd probably be better off saying "a HUGE WEEABOO FAGGOT" because that's the subtext.

Ok. Time to take a shower, finish quick-packing my tarot cards and my laptop full of fail, grab my tickets, my anti-asthma medicine, and walk the two miles to the train station.

Laptop full of furry porn more like. Don't lie, swami.

For one, every claim now needs to be verified. How the hell can I verify that I have 14 or so years as a tarot reader besides my own brain? Some fancy schmancy diploma? How does one measure an 85% accuracy rate?

If you only have an 85% with Tarot you're doing something way wrong. It should be 99% at minimum. It's so goddamn vague it can't help but be true. Ever wonder why the symbols are so generalized and vague as to relate to the human condition regardless of the human?

I'm bringing Emerald (my laptop) but I'm going to see if I can't do a format c: from DOS on that thing first.

You named your laptop and call it by its first name. Great. Also you could do a full format from boot by getting your operating system disc and sticking the bitch in there and following the onscreen instructions BUT THIS IS FURRIES WE'RE TALKING ABOUT. MUST DO EVERYTHING DIFFERENT.

Ok, this is getting really out of hand. I simply don't sleep these days. At best I can get in a 3 hour nap, but barely, and it doesn't do anything for me. Either I close my eyes and my mind won't STFU, I can't even close my eyes, or I simply can't relax enough to get to sleep.

Maybe you're finally turning into a cheetah or whatever the fuck!

And now it's having a big effect on me. I can barely do readings at the moment, AND I completely forgot all contact information for the job interview I have tomorrow.

It goes without saying that "readings" are basically idiot proof and for you to fuck it up this hard really says something about you.

It's 100% psychological. I'm sure of it. I wonder what my subconscious is so afraid of that it won't let me sleep so I can solidify my memories and get my thoughts straight.

I know what my subconscious would be afraid of. "Holy shit I'm a furry who reads Tarot for a living what the shit am I doing with my life?" It'd be one thing if you were Miss Cleo and turned this into a swindling empire but apparently you really suck at it.

I don't want to have to drop another 20 on a haircut. But. My hair is down past my shoulders now and if I had breasts and minus a mustache I would definately look like a girl (not like I wouldn't mind, being gender dysphoric and all...)

It's little wonder no place on Earth wants to hire you. Furry, Tarot card reader, "gender dysphoric" (future tranny).

Payment received from the tarot site via paypal, transfer request to my bank account in progress. I give them until Monday of next week.

I was expecting 1200, got 1100.

Shit maybe I should try my hand at this. It'd be easy money.

Can anyone tell me what "IRQL_IS_LESS_THAN_0" means?

Bad RAM. Get a new laptop.

I just had a BAD crash. Bluescreened after logging off Second Life.

Hurr durr.

Guess who started a game of Spore and who went halfway through the game before forgetting to save through the entire last level he played?

Casual fag.
That's it. I can't take any more of this bullshit. This guy's entire life reads like a parody written about furries.