Oh fuck

Did you know marine forces in the Pacific during WWII used the hamerless Winchester Model 1912 because as long as the trigger was depressed it was capable of slamfire? Meaning, all a marine had to do was slide the action and it'd fire, sort of like that show The Rifleman.
Oh yeah, unrelated: blogs.
It's just always amazing to me how creative people are when it comes to violence. Figuring out book bindings? That'd be a 2000 year process, but a rapid fire shotgun? 20 years.
I'm sort of envious, though. Having two of those mounted on the front of my car would come in handy. No one would be cutting me off anymore, no sir.

Some point in 2009:
Hannah: So Who is the Library Day Speaker this year?
Lita: i'm not really sure.
Hannah: I heard it was Vanda Symons?
Lita: I think so, they write books.

Okay, That was like the most epic fail of fail I have ever said last year.

... LOL XD

Now uh, the above speech was so stupid. Not to mention, it happened in the library. So I fail.

Vanda Symons does write books fyi and she is also a really lovely person to meet.

k
It's okay not to have anything to say. You don't need to keep posting. Or keep your already too long post from ending.

Aww -___-


I was talking to some of the junior librarians today (actually now to be presise), sounds like their having a freakin marvelous time.

Oh, what? I went into my image folder looking for something and it's 15 minutes later and I don't remember what I was looking for.
Stop this. Stop this immediately.
What could I have been looking for?
Well you seem to fancy yourself some kind of litfag but you don't know how to spell precise or the difference between "there", "their" and "they're". Probably something to do with that?

Hello LJ,

for the first time in ages, I don't actually feel like posting because I have nothing to say.

OH BOY NOTHING TO SAY! I'M SURE READING THIS! Oh wait, it gets better, too! "I don't actually feel like posting"! Goddamn, this'll be a great read!
How did Milton or Homer open their epics? "whatever don't really feel like writing this. Sing muses, or whatever it is you do. Or don't, whatever."
Somehow I don't think people would give quite as much of a shit as they do if they had opened like that.

Time to watch the Commentary to The Forbidden Kingdom
Oh my gosh! I'm gonna go and have that damn tea! YES? yes.
And...i'm going to...stop being so annoying now.
TEA.......♥
(Top 5 tonight m'dears!)
-Litaxx

Here was my face during this:Move over dog and let me in that pillow fort.

Okay m'dears! Welcome to February!
Not long now until I start Uni, but still quite a long way to that point in time.

Okie dokie, Let's hope that this month I can manage to post EVERY SINGLE DAY!
Am I up for the challenge?
Hell. To. The. Yeah.

So yesterday I was moving my eyes in a weird way to imitate how characters in Mass Effect 2 often look and I heard a weird pop in my head and now my left eye hurts periodically. Should I be concerned? I can still see out of it and everything but-- I don't know. It's worrisome.

MOVING. STRAIGHT. ALONG.
Uhhm, I was going to say something about the title..Oh right yeah, actually coming to think of it, I think I might just pass on that because it could aggrivate...certain people.
I should really shut up.
I just woken up (YES IS 11.40! LEAVE ME ALLOOOONE!)
hm.
Today is going to be a good day, the parent's are leaving the house to go to work and I'm home alone in all it's glory, Yaaay ^-^

Shut up my eye hurts goddamn I think I detached a retina--
it feels better if I cover it up.

So once upon a time there was a guy I liked and I knew I was out of his league.
Anyway, fast forward a few days later, I didn't like him anymore because he was a creep.
The End.

After that, there was another guy I liked.
And for a while we were pretty...cool. Except because I'm screwed up, the more he liked me, the more I pushed him away. Until I realized what I actually had I didn't do it so much. Anyway, long story short - it's pretty much the opposite now, so we hardly keep in contact even though I try but neugh.

Fascinating.
This is probably the first time I've seen in your blog that you've managed a coherent thought through two paragraphs. I know you're big into the "lol I'm so randum xD" phase right now because you think you're "like, totally funneh" or whatever it is you morons think (goddamn I got douche shivers typing that) but don't expect me to read any of it.
In fact I've skipped three straight pages of posts for this exact reason.

Told me to mention him in my journal entry. So, this is his mention, yup. Hello Morgan. Blah blah blah.

Oh speaking of, holy shit I heard the worst song ever today. It's called "Blah Blah Blah" and it's by that banshee, Kesha (not spelling that with a dollar sign, get fucked)
I don't even understand the appeal. She can't sing, she looks like she doesn't shower very often, she's really not particularly attractive (personal hygiene or no). No, I don't get it at all.

Do you get offended if someone repeatedly checks their mobile phone when you're out for lunch or dinner? If so, do you usually say something?

My answer to this is "yes"

Uhhhhh. This is why I have to go so off-topic. You're so impossibly boring I can't even think of anything mean to say about you. That's pretty fucking dire. I've posted every other day (not counting weekends) for over a year and a half and you're the one who exhausted my bile.
Good work (oh and also not counting days I've forgotten).
Now there's a totally hilarious post about Windows 7 and her updating schedule. Apparently she's letting Windows 7 run her life and that's somehow the computer's fault (brotip: there's a big red "turn automatic updating off" button in your control panel).
Well that's it. I think my work here is done.
I have to go write a reflection on Emerson's "Nature" which is problematic because I've done a lot of soul-searching on this monumental text in the long and brilliant literary history of the United States and the only "reflection" I can come to is that I have no reflection on the subject.
(I also haven't read it which isn't proving to be the problem you'd think it would).

Ah Nostalgia~

Remember back to the dim dark age of summer 2008? Remember all those anorexia blogs?
Hell yeah, you do.
Well let's revisit fond memories~
To be perfectly honest I don't really remember too much about those, but from what I recall this one seems more mean spirited than the previous ones. Look at that fucking logo. OH YEAH, HAVEN'T EATEN IN THREE DAYS, HAVE YOU? WELL LOOK, SOME DELICIOUS ICE CREAM. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO EAT ALL OF IT, YOU FATFUCK.
Or maybe that's just me reading too far into it.
I'm not really sure what I mean by "reading too far into it" because no one can over think themselves more than these bitches, so no, I didn't put too much thought into it, at least not compared to them.

I’m such a loser. Today was supposed to be fasting day 5, but I caved and ate. I ate soo much I shocked everyone in the restaurant. To make matters worse, I’m not 139lbs like I was this morning. I’m a whopping 143.5.

What.
Also:
>anorexic
>weighs more than I do
Uhhh...

I’ll do a hard workout until I wanna pass out. I hate myself. Everytime I get control and start doing good, I always screw up. YOU SUCK CARRIE!

Maybe it's because I'm an OCD nerd but I actually have thoughts not revolving around me. Admittedly they are usually towards something in my little world, but still, they are not *directly* about me. In fact, today most of my thoughts were "holy shit my perfect IV Azelf is so fucking awesome holy shit he has 252 special attack and speed EVs this guy is going to be a motherfucker when I get him to 100". Just working on flamethrower so I can torch any potential Metagrosses.
Oh right, this.

I weighed in. 147.5 at the end of the day. I haven't really gone to the bathroom in a while if you know what I mean lol.

youlostme.jpg

But that's no excuse. I was 138. Fuck.
Definately restricting til I get back down. I'm a fuckin whale.
I jus got an itouch so I'll be able to check as much as I want which I am super excited about : )

Most people would be happy about, you know, having an iPod Touch, but I guess being able to obsessively check your weight is something. I guess.

147.5.
Unbelievable.
I'm glad I'm in florida with warm weather but I don't really fit into my shorts!!! Help!

Again, someone who weighs more than me. Are we, as a society, so morbidly obese any weight loss is immediately branded "anorexic"? I've seen the tendency, to be honest.

i hope the hoildays are going as well as they are going for me.

Way to avoid the pronoun "you" in that sentence. I suppose it wouldn't truly be an anorexic group if it wasn't 100% about the poster.

My dad has decide to cut back on the juck food this year because he wants to lose weight.

Doesn't "juck" sound like some kind of racial epithet? Fucking jucks moving into my goddamn neighborhood and driving the real estate down. They also smell bad.

Oh hi.

purged once today:\ I was rly high and had insaane munchies so I binged.

Sugoi monogatari, aniki. (translator's note: "sugoi mongatari, aniki" means "cool story, bro" in Japanese)

blaa recovery is annoying at times like this. It's weird because I'm more happy when I allow myself to purge, not like once a day though more like what I was doing the past year. 5-8 times a day.

What.
Is vomiting 5-8 times a day for a year bad for the heart? Seems like it might be, I don't know. At the very least, it doesn't seem advisable.

I know I need to stop though. I'm just always stressed out now because the only way i know to relieve stress is purging. fuckit.

Bitch: get a DS. Now.
On second thought, don't. I'd just obliterate your shitty team with my perfect IV Azelf and then you'd stick a dick down your throat and puke or however that works.

I've been b/ping like a mad person, and my scale got moved when my mom was cleaning, so I've no clue where I am from the 121 that I got down to (Lost two pounds, yay.)

b/ping? Oh, binging and purging.
I get it.
Ewww.

So today I didnt even weigh myself today- i really dont think i can. I binged last night and couldnt even purge. I ate a mozzarella stick,a recess cup and a tiny piece of bagel

ONE ENTIRE MOZZARELLA STICK FUCK ME

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve !

Is it?
Oh shit, it is. Huh.

i wish plastic surgery was cheap. i would have so many :( even though ppl say am pretty i rlly cant help but see my big nose, ugly teeth, huge muffin tops etc etc ...

Sounds like you're ugly. I hate to draw yet another comparison to Audrey Hepburn, so I won't.
No, instead let's make a comparison to her:

You can vomit your central nervous system out and you will never look like that. Give up.
Man I'd make an awesome anorexia counselor. I'd alternate between this brilliant tactic and saying "YOUR (sic) SO SKINNY U NEED TO EAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!" followed by "WHOA SLOW DOWN ON THE CUPCAKES, FATTY!"
Anorexics need a constantly conflicting body image, right? Isn't that the problem?

i am rlly considering surgery i just want to feel better!! am sick of everything..and everyone! the more i cant stand myself, the more i cant stand people around me.

You know some people with that attitude become Batman or Kenshiro or something. Just saying.
Or no, I know who sounds exactly like that: Black Jack. Eccentric and brilliant surgeon without a license who performs all sorts of illegal but miraculous surgeries on those without a chance.
He has like half a zombie face or some shit.
Basically imagine House but 5000x more hardcore.
Remember all those episodes where House was being an emo fuck about his leg or whatever?
Black Jack was boxing people.

Two members have made fun and being ironic of ana mia's members.

Someone also posted a pic of chocolates in one of my post.

WHY?
why are u so stupid bithces.....??!!ok u made ur point u say "styupid anorexic bitches askin for advice....bla bla bla " well i have on word to say to you

The fucking title image is ice cream. There's pictures of food all over the fucking place, so let's not go crazy, all right.

Also I'm enjoying some delicious Oreos at the moment.
Cause I rele want to be strong, but I'm a bit scared of passing out,
electoytle imbalance and death.....

>rele
>she means 'really'

Well, on another note: it's christmas tomorow. Excited. :)

>posted December 23rd
soooooooo I think that's it.
I mean there's more, of course, but there's only so much one person can say about all this.
I even recycled the "constantly conflicting body image" joke (shouldn't have said anything no one would have noticed~)

Oh hi

Today is one of THOSE days. It's an "obnoxious Monday" if you don't know what I mean.
Naturally, an obnoxious blog is in order to compound my already mounting migraine. I took pills (grabbed some peelz for those of you familiar with drug culture like myself) but I can feel it edging through them.
雪の失楽園 is our blog today. Or no, my mistake, 雪の楽園。 Sorry, subtle but distinct difference.
"yuki no rakuen" which is, quite literally, "pleasure garden's snow". "Snow of a pleasure garden" is how I'd translate it probably, but both make about as much sense as each other. Whereas what I wrote first is "yuki no shitsurakuen" which is "snow of paradise" which makes (slightly) more sense in my opinion.

Ah. Life is life. What are we to do?

Profound wisdom from snow of the pleasure garden (sounds like a sexual euphemism every time I see it).
"SNOW" of the "PLEASURE GARDEN" WINKING EMOTICON ;3

People are mad because they're being stupid and I was standing up for a friend today. Why would make a comment like that to me?!

I think you're missing a critical pronoun, brosef.

You know we've been best friends since grade 6. I have no idea why. It isn't even what she said, it was HOW she said that bothered me. No, there's nothing wrong, your additude just needs a slight adjustment! :D

What?

So, I'm on a total Shugo Chara surge right now and it's lovely! SOOOO ADORABLE! I WANT PHOTOSHOP BACK SO I CAN MAKE ICONS FOR MYSELF!! >////<>
What?

I WANT A NEW LAYOUT! >( Gr. Jin come back! T^T Or stupid Lj could let me put up the one from Joe. . . . but no that would be way too easy now wouldn't it?! *huff*

What? Hi!

So I think I'm getting paid Thursday/Friday so I can pay my dad back and freakin' order my CD's that I FLIPPING ASKED FOR MY BIRTHDAY!!! Why don't parents listen? WHY?! Just those 4 CD's that's all I wanted. *sighs*

I hear there's this thing called the "internet" where you can "torrent" "CDs" but I don't know because I'm typing this through a BBS on a 286 and listening to my tapes right now, so I don't know.

Over the summer I will buy myself a small TV to put in my room so I can put the Wii and PS2 in here. I WILL! I WILL! I WILL! I'm going to do my Wii fit and finish those games one way or another! >:3

WII FIT YO HARDCORE GAMER AHOY!

So Dissida and 358/2 come out on the same day it looks like so I'll need to put some money away for those when they come out unless Mom will pay since she pre-ordered them for me. . . hmmm. . .

Wow Final Fantasy Dissidia AND a Kingdom Heart's game. You are hardcore.

AND YOU! Follower! Go to http://www.uniqueskins.com/

No.
Okay I lied. I did click on it :3c

Is that not awesome?!

I guess but my PS2 has a fliptop case so I can play imported games, so I'm probably way more fucking cool than you are.
Oh that's right, you can't actually read Japanese so that would be of no real use to you, but for those of us with actual talent in the realm of languages it's fucking great.

And Edward off of FFIV sucks for dying so much in my game. Offically.

His only ability is "hide" (and sing but that's equally faggoty). I think that should be an indication of his fighting prowess.
And she links a video about Final Fantasy XIII. This was old news even when she posted it.

Okay so thankfully only 11 days of school left and 12 days of Hell. Chem can die. Honestly, it can die for all I care now. STUPID STUPID STUPID CLASS! >:( AWFUL! HATE HATE HATE

*takes a deep breath* HATE!

Okay. I'm good for the moment. Moment being the keyword there.

Die.

THE SIMS 3 CAME OUT YESTERDAY AND ITS AMAZING! LOVE!

Wii Fit, Kingdom Hearts AND The Sims? Fuck, so hardcore! I bet you're equally excited for the new Wii blood pressure cuff or whatever the fuck, right?

(Its not really that slow I just put all my graphic setting really high so it doesn't look like crap when playing it. I HATE crappy settings! )

So you'd rather play on settings your computer can't handle (and get less than 10 frames per second I bet) than deal with worse graphics?
Great trade off. Just look at screenshots at that point, Christ.

To top it off, I'm a full time worker over the summer break. No fun for Amber, just WORK WORK WORK!

Amber. Hi, Amber.

So I when I went in to get this in I was in the meeting thing and they were telling me what they were going to do and what was going to happen.

I-- what?
One of her tags for this entry is "disgusting" but I think that summarizes this entire blog nicely instead of just one entry.

So you know? I am beginning to realize how useless people are becoming.

Becoming?

They are back stabbers and idiots and use people to further themselves a head and don't even bother thinking about the people they're hurting in the process.

There's that brilliant descriptive power at work again!

TODAY IS KAGGIE-CHAN'S BIRTHDAY!

*huggles*

>huggles

Glad my favorite song has an awesome reaction image in it so now I can listen to that song when I look back over this entry and then say "HEY I'M LISTENING TO THAT SONG RIGHT NOW!" when I do it.
My life is all kinds of fascinating.

Here's most of KAT-TUN's QoP Cd and Koki's solo!

Hey look, more words I know.

Akward sex scene *shudders* ek.

ACKward sex scene. That's how I read that.

Words are man's greatest weapons. They can cut deeper than any knife and linger longer and more painfully than any physical scar can.

I'm sure the Hiroshima survivors would agree.

Yesterday I apparently over stepped my bounds as a 'friend' and accidentally hurt some one very dear to me when I all I meant to do was find out what people were talking about.

Ha, ha girls are dumb.

My fandoms, my life, my problems, things I enjoy...I can't share that with RL anymore.

No one wants you to share your fandoms with them. No one really gives a shit how cute Cloud and Sephiroth would be together. Most people played that game (12 years ago, I might add, but you were probably an infant then and don't remember it so whatever) enjoyed it and moved on with their lives.
MEANWHILE WITH CAPTAIN ANNOYING CUNT, FINAL FANTASY VII GAY FANFICTION!

So I will not bother you with my excitement over the KH game coming out in August, I won't bother with movie excitement anymore.

NO ONE GIVES A FUCK, CHRIST. Or find friends who are equally excited. THIS ISN'T HARD.

I'm back into final fantasy in a big nasty way. I thought I could try and finish X but I'm so screwed.

Ha, ha, stuck in Final Fantasy X. Casualfag.
Sorry I should be nicer to you, Amber. I've probably been playing RPGs longer than you've been alive.
No, I'm just kidding. You suck. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
All right this has dragged on long enough.

The Bro Crusade Continues

Today I tackled the Promyvion runs in FFXI and cleared them all, so pretty much any achievement imaginable pales in comparison. It's all there in the title: PROmyvion.
So here we are today.
A fellow Final Fantasy fan, going by the avatars. Yes, Final Fantasy VI was the best. This does not mean I'm going soft on you, though. If anything I'm now holding you to a higher standard because you are familiar with things that are not shit and therefore have no excuse for your heathen ways.

Two things that I find unfair:

Somehow I bet both of these articles you are, in fact, in control of, but do continue.

That I only truly want to be writing when I am nowhere near something that I can use to write.

Yep definitely don't give a fuck.

That in order to get a good job I have to do things like apply and interview and go to job fairs and that just scares me and makes me unhappy.

OH, WELL FUCK ME! LITTLE PRINCESS DOESN'T WANT TO DO WORK TO... GET A JOB?
Also I've cut about a paragraph from each of these two items. You didn't miss anything, she just literally got her point across in one sentence and then continued to prattle on.
See that, Jen (I love being on a first name basis with the various bloggers :3)? I didn't have anything further to say so I ended the thought.

I GOT AN A IN RESEARCH METHODS, AKA THE CLASS THAT HAS BEEN IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE SINCE SEPTEMBER. Okay so yes I got As in all other classes but the B in econ but those don't seem NEARLY as wonderful/exciting/etc. I GOT AN A IN 406.

Well whoopdeeshit I got an A in all my classes.

Now it's time to make Aziraphale's life miserable by remixing my angsty WWII slash fic <3>

I know what World War II is, and I know what Azazel is (an obscure character in Jewish Apocrypha, but given this cunt probably from some anime) but I have no clue what this sentence means. At all.

Belial just popped into my head, along with his reasoning for deciding to seduce Uriel

What is this I don't even
All right for those of you unfamiliar with Jewish and Christian mythology and associated texts and apocrypha (who could blame you?) Belial is, well, first a term, as in the oft-mentioned "riotous sons of Belial" basically, greedy people who would do anything for money. Crooks, thieves, rogues, etc. Belial was later personified as the demon of greed. His most famous appearance is perhaps in Milton's "Paradise Lost", where he attempts to convince the Court of Hell to develop the natural resources of Hell, which was rich in valuable metals.
Uriel is a rather obscure Seraph (highest order of angels) who I believe is briefly mentioned in Dante's Divine Comedy as well as "Paradise Lost" and figures only slightly more heavily into the cult classic Shin Megami Tensei series.
I can't be certain if they were gay or not, but I would have to assume Uriel would spurn this advance considering they are embroiled in a bitter war and are on opposite sides of the conflict.
UNLESS THIS IS A GAY ROMEO AND JULIET STORY HOW ROMANTIC~
Oh here she posts an excerpt.

Uriel was tidying up and singing to himself. “Love me hate me say what you want about me, but all of the boys and all of the girls are beggin’ to IF YOU SEEK AMY!”

Belial’s eye twitched.

“Say, you know, that song is so catchy but makes no sense,” Uriel admitted, “No sense at all. IF YOU SEEK AMY? What does that even mean?”

Belial’s eye began to spasm.

“IIIIFFFFFF YOOOOUUUU SEEEEEEK AAAAAMMMMYYYY. FFFFFFF UUUUU CCCCCCCC KKKKKKK MMMMEEEEEEE. Huh. No, doesn’t mean anything. Weird.”

If Belial had a soul, it would have died.

Well that was bad and didn't make a lot of sense. I'd like to mention that Belial is only a soul by definition but whatever, hey who needs all this book learnin' when you can shit out this PURE GENIUS?

XD Sorry those two amuse me.

LOL XD IN THAT CASE YOU'RE FORGIVEN.
Oh now we get deep insight in the form of an AIM conversation. These are always fucking stupid. Put your goggles on, because I suspect unprotected eyes will be irrevocably damaged upon viewing this:

[15:29] steadfast: he will get involved in a duel to the death (not sure with who XD) that occurs over a pit of spikes that are on fire while the kraken tries to suck him down
[15:29] steadfast: so i guess we could do that XD
[15:29] foxxfire5: xDD
[15:30] foxxfire5: what are we going to do? have him spiked underwater?
[15:30] steadfast: XD
[15:30] steadfast: just
[15:30] steadfast: XD

In a two minute window (at most), FIVE "XD"s.
This conversation continues in this fashion for another five minutes, and in that window there are another SIX "XD"s, bringing the grand total (in a six minute clip of a conversation) to 11. That's almost two every minute.

So I finally sat down and forced myself to read Twilight. It took about 4 hours.

It wasn't nearly as bad as I figured it would be.

Thanks. I didn't put much time into my best seller but it has made me a fortune.

Two more scenes to go, still. Well, three, if I'm including some sort of climactic fight scene against el dragon, which I haven't quite decided whether or not I'm going to write or not.

I don't usually count climactic battles where most of the action is resolved as a scene, but I can see where you might consider it one of the most important parts of a story.

I finally got up the metaphysical balls to look at the grad school apps I still have hanging

I guess all those big bad psychology classes (and an English minor, no less) don't extend into the definition of "metaphysical" (protip: your statement didn't make that much sense).

Do you remember how I complained that my brain doesn't think linearly - that I can write the end of stories before the beginning, etc.? Prime example of this: MY BRAIN HAS DECIDED TO WORK ON THE SEQUEL.

OH NO IF ONLY THERE WAS SOME METHOD OF WRITING WHEREIN YOU COULD DIVIDE INDIVIDUAL STORIES INTO SMALLER SECTIONS AND THEN ORGANIZE THEM LATER IN A FASHION THAT MAKES SENSE TO THE READER! Unfortunately to my knowledge no such thing exi-- oh no, no wait, I remember now: they're called chapters. Might want to look into them.

Second, it turns out that my Good Omens novella has gotten about 300 viewers per chapter.

*~success~*
I'm parring the next paragraph down to a sentence so that it isn't so boring (and stupid).

Oh, and I ordered statues of the archangels so that they don't smite me because of the fact that they're all characters in the novella.

I forgot what I was going to say about this, honestly. The glaring stupidity of this paragraph just crushed all rational thought I had for about ten minutes.

Things Jen needs to get done today:

But wait, aren't you Jen?
Oh who cares?
This goes on and on forever about shit I don't care about, so I'm going to do something else now.

Oh boy.

What's astrology? Well, it's the belief that the movement of the constellations can somehow predict the future, or determine gross personality types.
In reality this is bullshit, but very much like Tarot there is at least some commentary on the human condition underneath the mysticism tacked on later by hustlers to confuse young people and stupids.
Today's blog, besides being named one of the dumbest fuck things I've ever heard. Tell the truth, but tell it slant?
Tell the slanted truth. Isn't that lying? So a better quote would be "lie constantly" which is life advice for everyone.

Two signs which naturally attract and complement each other. Tactful Libra tones down the Ram's fury, and redirects his or her individualism towards a partnership whose logical conclusion is the marriage which matters so much to Libra. The Libran harvests the Ram's vigor, but is sometimes rebuffed by blunt language. Aries must be careful to give Libra time to express him or herself. Otherwise, the magnetism which attracts them may turn into mutual repulsion.

(The ram's fury? Dang.)

So what'd we learn? Apparently Aries is a goddamn asshole.
What is the libra? It's the scales of justice.
What do the ram and the scales of justice have in common?
WHO CARES NONE OF THIS MEANS ANYTHING.
If you think balls of burning gas and debris in space arranged in arbitrary patterns based on the vantage point of Earth, you might as well throw sticks on the ground and let those divine what you should do with yourself.
Jesus Christ people, think for yourselves for once.

Cool, huh? That John Donne was a smart guy. I wish I could write clever poetry like him.

Funny, whenever I read John Donne the first thing that never came to my mind was "clever" but whatever. I really don't get poetry.
Pictures from her sister's wedding.
I hate looking at this shit. It makes me feel like a stalker, and I didn't even do anything. I just clicked on her stupid blog and started writing about it. Who are these people and why are they all over the internet?

I'm a whimsical, artsy sort of person who can find special meaning in the second comma inserted in a sentence--the wedding photographs should reflect that!

"second comma inserted in a sentence". What does that mean? Is the comma supposed to be there? I remember a grammar lesson as a kid where you had to move a comma to change the meaning of a sentence, is it like that? Do you move the comma in "Lightning struck, Billy Joe jumped" and suddenly lightning struck Billy? Is that the kind of shit we're talking about or are you just a twat?
I guess my confusion stems from the fact she seems to think this is a unique, special, or otherwise creative ability, when in reality it just shows a grasp of English.
I hate to break it to you, but you're really not a special snowflake.

About ten minutes ago, I got an e-mail from my summer class professor, telling me that I wasn't officially registered for his class. I was, in fact, registered for a class in the first summer session, he told me. After reading his e-mail several things flashed through my mind: the long hours, the workload, the early mornings reading, the late nights driving home and everything else, too. So, he was telling me that on the first day of class, the day when I wasn't on the class roster, the day when the he said "he'd look into it,"--YEAH THAT DAY, DOUCHEBAG--he actually sat back on his ass and twiddled his thumbs.

I've been through much of college. I'm familiar with the registration process. Never in my time at college have I confused semesters. I've done other dumb shit like register two classes for the same time (amazing they let you do that) but I never signed up for a class I intended to take in Spring in the Fall.
What I do know is this: if your name isn't called on the first day, alarm bells should go off. That isn't the time to sit back and let the teacher "look into it," and you certainly shouldn't blame someone else for your own foolish mistake.
I guess this reinforces my "you're not a special snowflake" statement, but he doesn't really care if you attend or not. He gets paid either way, so whether or not you did what you were supposed to do is really not his problem.
This isn't a "tough shit kid, no one cares" lesson, though. It's just the way it is.
Next entry is entitled this:

i'm covered in bees

That should be the title of your blog. If mine wasn't "Edie Finds a Corpse" I fucking guarantee it'd be "I'M COVERED IN BEES" then the tagline would be "just kidding. They're hornets, actually." That'd be awesome.
She got a tattoo. Right in the tramp stamp region, too.

"Wise poets that wrapp'd
Truth in tales,
Knew her themselves,
through all her veils."

Wow. Thomas Carew, I think. I'm sure you'd show that to whoever it is at the fucking club and impress them with your fresh book-read intellect, but I'm not fucking impressed.
If I recall correctly that poem was about his girlfriend (or wife, whatever) being a total cunt and he was telling her what's going down if she keeps that shit up.
Yeah really what you should have tattooed onto your back.

Those lines pretty much summarize my feelings on literature, my career and writing in general. I think it'd be cool to get those two lines tattooed in a pretty, flow-y sort of script just below the inside of my left ankle. I'd love to get it tattooed on the inside of my right wrist--appropriate for a right-handed English major, right?--, but I'm worried about it being too showy.

You totally missed the point of that poem.
Jesus Christ English 211 here, adjust your face before it's rocked off:
she was (apparently) made famous by his gr8 (yeah that's right, great with an eight) poems about her, and she got all uppity about her new fame, and he was just reminding her that really her depiction in his poems was just "truth in tales", meaning she wasn't really that fabulous. As I recall I think he calls her something like "common beauty" or something to that effect, meaning yes, she is beautiful, but she isn't some sort of rare pedigree.
Also I'm not an expert on goddamn Cavalier poets so I might be completely wrong about this.
I seriously doubt it, but sure.
AH SON OF A FUCK she copied the poem into her blog now I don't look so smart because I recalled all this shit from memory.
Well let's see if I was right.
Yeah I was.
Also it was addressed to "Celia". This may have been his chick who knows, but usually when someone has an allusion to mythology for a name, the meaning of the name is important.
My brain is a regular Rolodex of useless knowledge, so I happen to know "Celia" comes from "Cecilia" which means "blind". Saint Cecilia, by the by, was the saint of the blind.
SO I THINK THAT MAY BE AN INDICATION FOR YOU.
Fuck for all I know she may know all this in which case this is review time, but it seems to me this isn't the kind of thing you'd want on your back in permanent ink forever until the day you die.
Christ not this shit again.

I'm making up a MEME right now.

What is a meme? Not a word in most peoples' daily vocabulary I should think.
It's an idea or behavior that spreads from one person to another. The smiley face is a perfect example of this.
It's not something you "make" and say "LOL MEME NOW."
Many websites where users may post in an anonymous or near anonymous manner use this to promote uniformity in thought and the appearance of a cohesive mass.
Indeed there is an entire field of study devoted to this (people will make a job of anything) called memetology, and memes are often compared to viruses in the way they spread.
So I guess that's it unless you enjoy hearing about her wedding plans, in which case I think you're in the wrong place and would be better suited going here.