Oh that's fucking great

You have to be 18+ to read today's blog. I'm going to need at least two forms of photo ID before I let you into this entry.
Today's WB:

What do you like to do when you can't get to sleep?

I like to hum Cars songs and play the drums on my mattress.

The internet , tv , online radio , reading fanfiction , eat my left over dinner and just waiting for me to go to bed .

I have a hard time sleeing eveing i about to go somewhere .

I have a hard time not speaking like a recently thawed caveman.

What's the craziest thing you've ever done to impress someone? Did it work?

I've been playing that new Fist of the North Star game today and whatever the craziest thing this bitch has done isn't half as crazy as the wringer Kenshiro goes through for this Yuria bitch.
He kills at least 20 scores of men that I know of in that entire animu before he even reaches Shin.
But before that Yuria jumps the roof to her doom but not really because some shadowy types rescue her but Kenshiro doesn't know that so Shin's already dead and then Yuria catches that same disease Toki has even though Toki had radiation sickness I thought--
Whew, that plot's all over the place.

Well, not much ... the only thing crazy thing i done to impress an guy is dress up in really sexy outfits and draw love pictures.

Ok ok i'm to shy for anything !

Sexy outfits.
It should be a felony to make "sexy outfits" in sizes greater than, errr, 6.
Is 6 big or small know? I know they were going to change the size to make fatties feel better but then I don't know what happened.

Hello everyone !

Halloween is now over .

Posted at 7:05 PM November 1st. I guess it is.
Oh that's fucking great. A post entitled "2 days until Halloween" and I have to agree that I want to see content "not suitable for minors" and the post is empty. So far this cunt hasn't even said a bad word let alone a racy thought.

How do you feel about public versus private schooling?

No strong feeling one way or another.

Now, now i went to a public schools all my life and well i guess to say my high school years was horrorble . Since i never went to a private school ,but my only anwser is online schooling .

Actually on second thought fuck public schools if this is what they spawn.
"Horrorble."

What are the three all-time greatest summer songs?

SIIIITTIN' IN THE MORNIN' SUN, I'LL BE SITTIN' WHEN THE EVENING COME
WATCHING THE SHIPS ROLL IN, THEN I'LL WATCH 'EM ROLL AWAY AGAIN, YEAH
I'M SITTIN' ON THE DOCK OF THE BAY, WATCHING THE TIIIIIDE ROOOOLL AWAY OOOOH
I'M SITTIN' ON THE DOCK OF THE BAY, WASTIN' TIIIIIIIIIME~
I LEFT MY HOME IN GEORGIA, HEADED FOR THE 'FRISCO BAY
'CAUSE I'VE HAD NOTHING TO LIVE FOR AND LOOKS LIKE NOTHING'S GONNA COME MY WAY
Is that a summer song?

There to many ...... for me to remember.

>missing a verb
>wrong "to"
>ten thousand ellipsis
That's like five spankings.

What subject you like to become more knowledgeable about, and why?

Yes, hi I'd like to answer for marychanel if I may: she'd like to be more knowledgeable about spelling and grammar.

There so much things to learn in life ,but the one subject i can be more knowledgeable is art history and cooking.

>the one subject
>lists two things
AWWW COME ON. You're not even trying now.
Now here's a writer's block called "Comfortably Numb" and I'm not even reading it.
PINK FLOOOOYD TIME

What's your favorite example of how technology has made your life better?

In my lifetime we have gone from 1 GB hard drives being huge to transferring more in a 24 hour period than 20 of those shits can hold over the internet.
So I'm going to vote "cable internet".

Cell phones and the internet and things are a little bit better now , but it's still a long way to go.

>long way to go
FROM WHAT TO WHAT? We've gone from, in my full lifetime, practically no one having the internet to EVERYONE HAS IT ON THEIR CELLPHONE.
HOW MUCH MORE PROGRESS DO YOU NEED BEFORE YOU CUNTS ARE HAPPY?
FUCK YEAH COMFORTABLY NUMB HAS AN AWESOME GUITAR SOLO

It's hard, it's really hard. It's been one year since michael jackson pass away last year and i still missed him .

What, were you a close friend or member of the family?
It's not like he'd recorded a good song since the 80s.

So for this day i'm seeing this is it and i feel sad that the tour will never happen and but if he was still alive the tour would have been the grandest tour ever .

No one would have given two shits. It's just because he died, stop being silly.
Some books are inspirational. Others are intellectually stimulating or emotionally comforting.

Then there are those juicy, mindless reads that are only good for a plane ride or the beach. Which books or authors fall under this last category?

Question filled with useless information, hello.

I can only think thew things, mangas, comics and "An midsummer's night dream" .

Oh yeah, "An" Midsummer's Night Dream is light beach reading. You know, just deals with Perseus and Oberon and shit. Lovable scamps everyone is familiar with.

I got some bad news for me , well as of last night my great-grandfather has pass away as of last night.

I'm suddenly reminded of that scene in The Matrix where Neo sees the black cat twice and it's deja vu and oh no that's when they've changed something in The Matrix.

Have you even had a moment, an hour, or a day that renewed your faith in the fundamental goodness of humankind?

No it has pretty much been downhill since birth.
On that note I think another glooooorious entry in the annals of "Edie Finds a Corpse" draws to a close.

There is no greater sorrow than to be mindful of the happy time in misery.

So I've been playing Dante's Inferno lately, and it reminded me of something awesome: Dante's Inferno.
I'm hoping for a sequel (or prequel, whatever) to Dante's Inferno: Homer's Odyssey. Holy shit, I'd preorder five. Press A to gouge Eurylochus' eye with a fiery poker.
So speaking of people undoubtedly damned to an eternity of suffering: cryqueen.

what a day i am haven,i have to go to work today when it is snowing,how bored i am.i wake up today to have a good day but it can happen for me because someone in my house wouldn't let me have it,i am so tried of living in my mom house;she is driving me carzy,alway want to start a fight with me and i dont have time for it.

There's this tendency in modern writing towards what litfags dubbed "stream of consciousness". So while people like the aforementioned Dante and Homer, and even more recent authors like, say, Mary Shelley, probably spent a lot of time thinking about what they were going to say and how they were going to say it, stream of consciousness dispenses with that bothersome "quality" and even "coherency" and just cuts to SHEER WORDS ON THE PAGE.
I like to call it the "Stephen King philosophy of writing". If you write a lot the law of average dictates some has to be good (coincidentally, Stephen King disproved his own theory).

well i feel like my skilles is not being recognize by my sensei,in my class,is there any one that take karate,tell what you have to to get promotion,because my still is better then the people that he promoted yesterday and i am so angry.

Usually martial arts reward patience, perseverance and temperance (you know, like you were some kind of virtue or something) and especially Eastern varieties also reward the reduction of ego, but whatever I guess you could bitch until you get your way.

so today someone told me that i am giving u this gift because othere people in my class were saying something about the way i was dress in a dress with no short undernet when i was wearing one on,don't u just hate when people think they have the right to talk about u,when u were not around i fine that annoying;now i am so angry about what she told me about the women in my class saying,why can people just tell others how the feel in front of them.i think that would be a good thing to do.

can someone tell me how u could have sex with a guy one day and the next,he's telling u that he doesn't want a relationship with u.well that happen to me and I still have feelings for him ever though he doesn't.

Heh.

MY is allways the same, i feel like im doin the same thing. Take work for insead i go to work and watch kids and is the same thing i do,

Okay I think I have a perfectly plausible explanation for this. She is a thawed cave woman. We should really congratulate her for integrating this far into modern society.

Every little girls that is see r marry and i can fine sumone to love me.

I know I just used this image recently but I think the situation calls for it:
This is easily in the "top five worst blogs grammatically" I've ever read.

is it me r i dont have luck in fining love i dont know anytime i fine someone sumthing bad happen,can sumone help me out so i can know what im doin wrong.

See this is exactly what I mean. I quote something, reread what I just quoted, and I immediately forget what it is I have to say about it because it basically stands on its own. I don't really need to say anything. I can just quote and say LOOK AT THIS SHIT.

today is a borin day all i do all day was sit around n take care of some ladys kids, im bored how do i suppost to have fun with this job, is borin help me.

LOOK AT THIS SHIT.
And that's it. Her blog looks kind of new, so welcome her to this FABULOUS COMMUNITY that is blogging. :3
As a welcoming present, I have a good title for your blog, compliments of my bro Dante: "abandon all hope, ye who enter here".

Holy Fuck

hey guys what would you do if i typed every entry like this with no punctuation or mechanics or grammar what would you do youd probably stop reading right i mean no one wants to read stream of consciousness horseshit people like their thoughts edited with some clear and overriding purpose instead of just verbal diarrhea splattered onto a page

dude so ive been dating this kid for a while omg i really like him and its crazy im tired of looking for qualities other people had in him omg i just like the way he is and hes driving me crazy. i didnt go to jail which is awesome and idk rene got whjat he deserved i guess.

See what I mean?

my lil sister is super jealous of my bf shes scared hes gonna take me away from her i hate that no one can take me away from her i love her more than anything that lil tard muffin. she just crazy but i cant let her get in my head and ruine this relationship.

Aw man I wish my old hard drive hadn't exploded and I still had that picture of Burt from Sesame Street and it says "that's real fuckin' neato" on it.

I would reeact the ending scean from pinapple express at the end whe the three guys are sitting eating breakfast and talking lol id be the dude james franco plays and whitt would be the seth roga character and virginia would be the other dude whos dying lol...or the fight scene from the same movie would be cool...

So on a totally unrelated note I came into some wealth in FFXI thanks to a bro who is quitting "FOREVER". I don't know, do I keep the utsusemi: ni scroll, woodsman rings and haubergeon and unload the other shit for Ochiudo's Kote or do I unload everything for a peacock charm?
Decisions, decisions.
I'm not sure if I'd have enough for a peacock charm, actually. Better start cashing out to see how much I can actually get before I start doing this.

Omg im so bord i really usually like this class but today i wish someone would shoot me in my dome haha i wish testing was abolished and they just knew what you knew by reviewing your work and if you cheat then thats yo problem....

So here's a little setup. Here's her "writer's block" question for the day. Usually I avoid this type of post like the plague because frankly who gives a shit, but her answers are just so delightful I decided I'd share. Here's the question:

Has your idea of the perfect romantic partner changed with age? Do you think we can teach ourselves to desire partners who are better for us or are we constrained by the laws of attraction?

Okay, then, here's her answer:

I never really had anything in mind other than prince charming from like every fairy tale...but then i fuigured out that he was like in every fairy tale story...sooo i dont want no tryflin man lol he played all the princesses so the i just gave up....i guess it changed by from men to women hahaha in like 6th grade

So if I were to grade this for clarity, content, grammar, and whether it stuck TO THE FUCKING QUESTION NOT THREE INCHES ABOVE THE POST, I'd have to give this a 0/100.
Of course because this is a public school and I'm interested in keeping my job and not having a parental/administrative/student shitfit I'll pass her with a 95/100.

What (if any) books would you ban from a high school library? Are there certain subjects that you feel are inappropriate for teenagers regardless of literary merit?

Wtfork kinda question is this? they should just not have a library in school cuz then we have to do stuff in school i hate doing projects in school i rahter go to a regular library or a book store if i need a book. oh and yeah do you guys always ask smart questions on her what happened to the life and death questions they were waaaaaaaayyyyy funner!

Great.

Are you ready?

Ya think you can tell us what to do
Ya think you can tell us what to wear
You think you're better
Well you better get ready
Bow to the masters

Break it down!

Ha, ha whoa easy there, Beastie Boys.

Degenerate into something fool
We just got tired of doin' what ya told us to do
That's a breaks boy, Yeahhhh
Ah, That's a breaks little man, Break it down

Degeneration X, Degeneration

Say you can tell me what to do
Ya know who your talkin' to

All right, honest to God. The huge fluorescent green font on a white background is too much, stop it.
Oh another one.
And another one, good grief.

Dude fork my life...im done trying with people like really im super nice and caring and no one gives a fork about me! From now on its my family my job and drink!

Fork my life? I'm pretty sure you can say "fuck" on the internet unless there's some new law I was unaware of, or you live in a police state where they monitor your internet.

I developed insomnia for one. I cant get any medication for it because id eat em like candy. I can be creatice anymore and sometimes i see things that arent there...thank you drugs.

THANK YOU DRUGS WOOOOOOOO. Incidentally I wish I had drugs right now because it would make reading this tripe that much easier. Also "drugs" rapidly becomes "drungs" in this post, but I don't feel like quoting the rest of it.
Good grief. I cannot believe this shit. If you're just going to do the fucking writer's block every day instead of posting don't fucking bother. Tool.

Examine your thoughts

Wow today's poster is a total douchecunt. I almost cannot believe what I'm reading, it's that atrocious. One need only look at the title and description of this blog to see what is about to unfold, like a stink blossom blooming in the reeking mulch of the internet.

music and writing is life and dane cook is GOD!!

>Dane Cook
>implying he is even a mediocre comedianWe're in for it now, readers.

anime is crack but comic books are cheaper.

Ohhhhhhhhhh boy.

ninja is a verb!

No it isn't. Shut up.

so yay i got a new computer.

Oh goody now you get to keep updating your blog. Yes, you without a computer would be an absolute loss.

the dead is going to be there i think the president of the school not to mention my professors and peers are going to be there asking me questions about my experiment so im really nervous.

"My experiment on how to turn douchebaggery into a tangible essence."

i have my final for far east lit and im so glad that class is over. i regret every day taking that class.

Ah yes, faggot weeaboo here has to come to terms with the fact that Japanese culture doesn't revolve around anime and internet memes. Also Japan isn't the only Eastern Asian country (brotip: China is frequently the focus of these classes).

well the end of the school year is fast approaching so i figured i would post. just to warn you i just cut my finger doing dishes so its kidna hard to type so excuse the glaring spelling mistakes.

So what's your excuse for entries that occur weeks before this one and weeks after?
Actually I kind of like this excuse. Blaming something that has nothing to do with anything on your spelling and grammar.
Hey guys if I have any glaring grammar or spelling mistakes please forgive me because my huge penis often gets in the way of me typing.

as i was saying the school year is almost over and even though i still have to take a summer class to get my last freaking 3 credits im pretty excited to be alomst done with school.

>this guy with his mastery of English (none)
>implying he's graduating college

had the shole metaphysical quandry going a day or two ago just kinda freaking out about....well...everything. who am i what am i doing what is my life going to be and why am i here and all that.

That's not metaphysical, that's existential, but whatever. You are, after all, an idiot.
Not that anyone but nerds and wastes of space give a shit about philosophy.

havent posted anything intellignet in a while so figure why not.

"Haven't posted anything intelligent in a while ever so I figure 'why not?'"
Fixed that for you.

where art thou spring break.

wherefore* art thou. It's from Shakespeare you illiterate pleb. "O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art though Romeo?" is the line. It continues: "Deny thy father and refuse thy name; Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love And I'll no longer be a Capulet."
I don't even like Shakespeare so whatever, who cares?

my experiment for experimental psyc is almost done just have to gaehr the last of the data this week and do the analysis so i can write the last of it up.

I believe it's hard to fuck up the spelling of "gather" that hard, so I think that might actually be a word on Gaelic or perhaps German.

my research paper for senior sem is due in a week that i totally forgot about.

Good work. Way to shit the bed.

ok so im actually pretty confused right now. i had a pretty bad week of death and somehow i managed to finish all my work without dying and magically i got it all in on time.

Don't expect me to congratulate you, or anything. You did what you were supposed to do. Carry on.

i think i leveled up after this week.

Real life doesn't work that way, bro. Believe me, I've tried.

my cumulative GPA is 2.93 so im so close to my goal of over a 3.00 GPA.

And that is a C+, and that is satisfactory.

ok so yesterday was totally screwed. work was a total clusterfuck tho in general it was fnny as hell at the same time. i walked in and it was a freaking mess so they were like we need you to close. pleaseplease pleeeeease. so im like fuuuuuck....fine....bastards.

Wow this story is really interesting. In addition, it is told so well! Please, continue, good faggot.

to not be winy or over react or anything but you kno what. fuck it. what the fuck guys. seriously. what the fuck. why is it every time i turn around everyone is hanging out and no one even asks me if im around. or kristen for that matter? are we not friends any more?

You'd be that guy I'd try to avoid. I'd tell you the wrong time and place for gatherings to lose you. I'm dead fucking serious.

what no im totally no supposed to be writing a psyc paper thats due tommorow even though it was totally due last week *shifty eyes* so anyway yea hi eveyone whats up?

Good grief. This is serious, guys. So serious, in fact, that I'm leaving a comment to our boy here:
"You spell like an idiot. Please look into a book on grammar and diction before updating again. I assure you, it will do you good."
Do ho ho. Read it here, if he doesn't delete it.
I'll keep you apprised on this situation~

Son of a Fuck

Guessing by the spastic screeching that wouldn't fucking stop today in one of my classes, the Twilight movie came out. Of course, welcome to Livejournal.

So Daddy and I went to go see Twilight today, and I was pleasantly surprised. It wasn't an Epic Fail!

This is, of course, subjective, because after watching the preview on Youtube with one of my friends (who, like me, is an asshole) and we couldn't think of anything to say. For the entire four minutes it was dead silence.

I was worried about the medow scene, (which kind of disapointed me, how little we saw of the medow) and Edwards sparkiling.

Holy. Shit.

I've got my Teaching Fellows interview tomarrow, and my Senior Exit in mid november.

T-- Teaching Fello--
Senior Exit--
What is happening here?

on the plus side i got my SAT scores back, I got a 1730! yay! App State's average for freshman last year was a 1130, so i figure i'm good to go! Yay App!

I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything because I guarantee I would have spit it all over my monitor. 1730? Seriously? I don't really know what the new cap is because I took my SATs back when the cap was 1600. It better be out of a million or something.

On another, ironic note, they showed an HP trailer at twilight. (if irony could kill...)

That isn't ironic. That isn't even a coincidence. I'm not even really sure what your point is.

My Dad works at Wachovia, the bank that may be bought out by Citi.

Welp.

It's like there's this huge wieght on my heart, and I've been having trouble sleeping lately.

Don't you worry your stupid head one bit. Nice spelling on "weight" incidentally. Miss that day of first grade?

It's not helping that everyone in my dad's side of the family is calling paniced when the hear the news.

I read that "pan-ised"

I just ask for a lot of prayers. It feels like my family, friends and faith are the only solid things in my life anymore.
So please pray for my dad's job, my family's sanity, and for me, we all realy need it...

I like the title of this entry, too: "I'm scared... is anyone else?"
Baby, I'm always afraid. Wisdom is the beginning of fear.

Recently Stephanie Meyer has been under a lot of critacism from people that hated BD.

Critacism
Critacism
Critacism
ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

I was talking with my mom last night, about my AP classes, and my dad was like "you're taking AP English too?

I, in my high school years, foolishly took AP thinking I could escape people like you.
I've since learned that you are, to use a word you'll never know the meaning of, ubiquitous.
Ha, ha, ha, ha want to see her senior pictures?
Behold!

I loved the first bit about the wedding and Jacob showing back up and then the honeymoon (even though Edward is a dumb ass).

Now that is ironic. You calling anyone a dumbass is hilarious.

all in all i loved the book more than i hated it.

I have to be honest, even people who claim to love (like this woman) Twilight, this is about all the good they can muster up for it. Maybe they've only read one book?
Yeah, that'd explain a lot, in fact.

that night we went to Applebe's for diner, and they had them come and clap and sing to me. i got an icecream and a ballon!

Applebe's for diner. Where you got an ice cream (just the one) and a ballon, whatever that is.
Eating at Applebee's really explains the senior photos, though. This is making more sense the more I read.

It's amazing how quickly you're mood can change.

It is amazing how quickly you are mood can change. Usually I don't see people fuck up grammar backwards like this.

I'm tired from all the walking though. my feet arn't used to it!

Heh yeah I'll bet.

and i need a boyfriend...

You know what would make that ea-- no, no fat jokes. Too easy.

I really did. On wensday he seemed so... happy.
He was so un-Nick on wensday,

Wednesday has a 'd' in it. We get the word from the Norse god Odin (Wodin). See how that works? Somehow the 'o' turned into an 'e'. Probably the British with their odd notions of spelling.

the jeans i wore yesterday were my motivation jeans!
if you've ever been on a diet you know what i mean.

I haven't had the need to diet. Ever. So why don't you tell me?

and you hang them on your closet door to motivate you to lose the whiegt to fit into them.
and yeasterday i got up the nerve to try them on again, and this time they fit!
you have no clue how much my self-esteme was boosted yeasterday. it was great!

Easy.
Also I think I can explain why she spells "yesterday" "yeasterday" her annoying accent, in actual speech, is closer to "yeasterdee" than yesterday in pronounciation, so hence the blending of the two.
Really I should be thanking her she met me halfway.

"Mortals! They are always blaming the gods for their troubles, when their own witlessness causes them more trouble than they were destined for." The Odyssey

This is in reference to "What words do you find wise enough to live by?"
Which of all fucking quotes from The Odyssey that you could actually live by that's the one you pick?

I woke up last knight with a leg cramp in that leg, and went to stretch it out forgeting that it hurts to bend...*palm head*

Somehow that spelling error gives that sentence an entirely new meaning.

I had a slitley better day today, although i almost broke down in Statistics today....

I have never seen someone fuck up a "gh" word that hard before.

My friend Nick is in the hospital. He's under 24 hour sevalence and can't even have a pair of shoes with laces.

Sevalence, Surveillance. Close enough, right? Again I can just hear the stupid North Carolina accent through my internet connection and it explains so much.

apparently Nick had become very depressed and was planning suicide.

Yeah no shit. Hence the "no shoe lace" policy.
I guess that's it, really. I could keep going but this blog, like most blogs, turns into a mobius strip.