Fuuuuuuck

Another day, another blog.
So today my head almost exploded as I was reading the FFXIV boards. I might have to do an entry on those yahoos. They bring my piss to a boil. It's like Livejournal mixed with Livejournal, I'm dead fucking serious.
NOTHING WILL MAKE THESE RETARDS HAPPY.

You won't enjoy the consequences. I may look and act like a cream puff most of the time, but don't you DARE call my friend a fag, okay? Being an ignorant homophobe does not give you the right to go after a boy who's ten times smarter and kinder than you could ever hope to be!

Yeah, yeah shut up.
I love these paladin types on Livejournal.
I FIGHT FOR MY FRIENDS!
Do ya?

What kind of spiritual or meditative practice keeps you feeling zen?

I like to recite the catechism of hate from Warhammer or perhaps Et Templars Mysteria aux Ordo Malleus.

To calm down quickly, I tense and relax my muscles one at a time, slow my breathing, and picture myself in my favorite relaxing spot, usually Hadrian's Wall or Glastonbury Tor. Before I go to sleep, I pray the rosary. It helps me fall asleep faster, and it keeps bad dreams at bay. Thank God, literally.

Imperator Vult.
Oh boy I'm in for it now.
There sure seemed to be a lot of Christfags out and about today on Livejournal. I tried to avoid them but no luck.

I'm feeling very...jumpy. Jittery. Out of whack...and I don't know why. I'm just in a strange mood. I can't find a way to make myself feel better.

I always find destroying the enemies of man most relaxing.

I think I need to talk to someone, but I don't know what I need to talk to them about. I'm feeling jealous of certain people, but it's not the source of my strange mood.

Let me just get my list of sins here--
Oh what do you know? Envy is one.
So speaking of destroying the enemies of man I finished the main quest line in FFXIV yesterday and I ran into this fellow as a result:

Further proof the Empire is right about everything.
They're clearly trying to prevent THE END OF THE WORLD but no they're mean about it so we have to oppose them :(
Fucking Livejournal logic in my video games.

I am such a bitch. I got all defensive when I didn't need to, and I insulted someone who might have otherwise become my friend.

I don't like it when people underestimate my intelligence because it's all I have going for me, but that's no excuse. I just need to sew my mouth shut. It gets me into so much trouble.

AVOID CONTROVERSY AT ALL COSTS.
NEVER BE INTERESTING.
ALWAYS BE PASSIVE AND COMPLIANT.

I need to get some serious writing done this week. I have so many stories that need lose ends wrapped up, especially my fanfictions.

Surprising absolutely no one: she writes fanfiction.

Once again, I must remind you: my faith does not give you license to assume I'm a narrow-minded bigot. On the contrary, my faith prevents me from becoming a narrow-minded bigot.

Okay.
Here's seven reasons she believes in God.
Let's see.

1. In order for the big bang to occur, something had to set it off. Scientifically, a reaction that big needed a trigger. The trigger=God.

... Yes, that's the only possible trigger for the creation of the universe. At least scientists have the honest to admit they don't know what caused the universe but it probably wasn't God.

2. Every society since the beginning of time has had some sort of religion.

... So?
People worship L. Ron Hubbard books. People are clearly gullible idiots who can be told anything. That is not anything close to a reason to believe in anything.

3. Despite the attempts of Hitler and others throughout history, the Jews, Yahweh's "chosen people", are still alive and kicking.

Wouldn't this be a reason to be a Jew, not a Catholic?

4. All of my best friends from public school are now teenage mom drop-outs. Right before they turned bad, my parents out of the blue switched me to Catholic school, when before they had hated Catholic schools. I'm now on the straight and narrow while my ex-friends do drugs. THe hand of God.

And not your parents or your own will or anything like that, no. The hand of God.
Wasn't there a study done that suggests the deeply religious are more likely to have premarital sex or teen pregnancy than normal people?

6. Historical evidence of Jesus backs up his existence. All the prophecies in the Old Testament point to him, and all five major world religions respect him: Christianity (duh), Judaism (prophet), Islam (prophet), Buddism (he reached nirvana), and Hiduism (he's an avatar, from what I've heard).

Excuse me?
I'd like to see your historical proof that isn't the Bible.
Go ahead I can wait.

7. I've had mystical experiences which lead me to believe that something greater than me does exist.

Oh so there you have it. I believe because I want to believe.
TRULY THE HAND OF GOD.

Dear Teacher,
I hate you. You're ugly, you're fat, you're a whiner, you're a bitch, and you make my life hell.
Oh, and your dog smells funny. My cats could take your dog down any day of the week.
If you try to make me take one more practice essay for the A.P. Exam that I'm not even going to take, I will shove my pencil up your nostril and cut out your heart with your red pen.
Sincerely,
A Very Pissed Off Student.

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"

Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."
Oh I'm sorry I'm just reading this BIBLE.

I can't say I'm sad that Bin Laden is dead. Good riddance.

I'm sorry, but Bin Laden was evil on about the same level is Hitler. You know I'm anti-war, but Bin Laden was evil.

Then said Jesus unto him, Put up again thy sword into his place: for all they that take the sword shall perish with the sword.
I'm sorry, what were you saying?

Some people deserve the death penalty. Bin Laden was one of them. It's the same as Hitler. Mindless, evil men like those two and Qaddafi deserve whatever sticky end they meet.

Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

I know, I know. Vengeance is God's, but why can't we get rid of tyrants without being told we're fools for it?

Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
HAR HAR HAR BIBLE CONTRADICTS CHRISTFAG: MORE AT 11.
Anyway I'm going to play some FFXIV.
GOTTA FISH LOADS OF FISH SO I CAN DESTROY THE EMPIRE.

This is really avant-garde.

So this is a person who has a blog but is writing it from the perspective of a character they created. I think.
To add confusion to this already confusing formula, the character also talks about the person writing the blog (the actual person) in third person.
Following along?
Me neither. Let's rumble.

For how much money would you be willing to spend a whole week away from the Internet, TV, and mobile phones? Would you suffer withdrawal pains?

If it's next week you're paying for my next semester of college because I'd probably fail if I had to go away from the internet.
This week-- ehhhhhhhhhhh I'd take 100 bucks.
I mean I could amuse myself with my DS for a week probably and that isn't explicitly banned so I have to assume it counts.

None, because I go for longer than a week when I'm adventuring.

*4th wall breakage*

Now, the person behind the screen is a different story. Give her a million dollars to do it and she will, while suffering from withdrawal pains.

Am I on drugs?
Why the fuck would you write like this? What possible benefits could it have over being normal?

So, apparently, DeviantArt is trying to give the one behind the screen's computer viruses again. Stay off DeviantArt for the next month. Oh and scan your computer more than once every five months. Maybe then you won't end up with 1067 things of Spyware on your computer. Surprised that there was no Malware at all. Just try to take better care of your computer, okay author?

Things of Spyware.
SURPRISED THERE WAS NO MALWARE. Do you even know what Malware is? When you get it you pretty much know instantly.

Name: Mortin
Universe: GSC/Gen II Pokemon

Oh.
Okay.

Age: Unspecified; anywhere between 18 and 22
Alliance: Hero
Pokemon on hand: Quil - Quilava; his starter, Gator - Totodile, Haunt - Haunter
Pokemon used in Gym Battles: Gastly, Haunter (x2), Gengar
Powers: Super Speed, 'Shape-shifting'
Other Forms: Two demon forms, a tasmanian tiger form, and echidna form

You know I've played through Pokemon Crystal a couple of times and I can't remember Morty changing into a demon or an echidna.
Oh and we've reached the end of this blog.
Bizarre.
OH NO I'M ABOUT TO VIEW CONTENT NOT SUITABLE FOR MINORS BUT I DIDN'T HAVE TO AGREE FIRST WHAT DO I DO?
Calm down, calm down. I still have to click to read each entry, so I only got one warning instead of two.
Just a little scary is all.
Anyway here we have a "furry surrealist's ramblings (ruh-roh). Answer to the previous question:

Depends on where I am. Stuck in my apartment without art supplies or a gameboy? I'd probably go mad. That would take at least three hundred bucks, I'd be losing money otherwise by not being able to do business.

Throw me in the mountains with a truck of Dick Blick supplies and a cozy cabin?

Anyone else stop reading at "throw me in a truck of dick"?
Here's a post where he explains how he has some kind of albinism and no one gives a shit.

It looks like my companion's dropping out of school. It's been a hard run, and while debt has piled, we think it best to just cut our losses. He's miserable, I'm sick of being annoyed with him over school issues and it'll free him up time to work. It all stems from him being pressured to go to school anyway, if it would have been okay for him to quit a while back, it would have gone so much better, but he was pressed to keep at it, and hated every step passionately.

OH POOR BABY.

It conflicted heavily with my grad school plans, as well as our need to get out of here so Dari can start trying out a new path as far as gender goes,

... What?
"A path as far as gender goes"?

It would have no effect on where Dari wants to work, and he has no real plans for ideal career anyway, it would have been just to please his parents.

I hope it was for the best.

>dropping out of college
>not having a plan
>for the best
Yeah probably not.
What, do you think things just work out by sheer coincidence?
I mean sometimes they do but what, you just expect things to go right? By what virtue?
Let's look at her paintings.
Oh I'm not allowed. I'm not privileged enough in the furry community to be privy to these wonderful works of art.
That's smart, too. Selling shit while blocking potential buyers. It's like you don't want money.
Not that I'd buy it, of course, but she doesn't know that.
Oh here we go.
It's-- hmm. It's not the worst thing I've ever seen but it is furry art so I dunno.
Also I like how she claims to be blind and yet produces coherent works of art that look like creatures I've seen in real life. I'm not saying it's impossible but yeah I'm calling bullshit on this one.

Visual Impairment angst again.

School starts again tomorrow, and I'm fussing and fretting over cane travel again. It's nothing new, I do it every year. I fuss and pout over everything, really.

I'm jealous as fuck at this one blind girl on my campus. She gets a balling dog and a balling cane and what do I get?
Oh yeah an entire sense she doesn't have.
Fair enough.

I found out we have a new student on campus who has a guide dog, and I find myself quite interested in meeting this person, I just hope it goes well. On one hand, I often feel like I want to meet other people who feel similarly, I guess I don't like feeling so alone, but on the other, my issues are kind of "tricky".

>Implying people have to think like you just because they're in a similar situation
FURRIES.

There's also the fact I have no binocular vision, in short, no depth perception. My cane has saved me more bruised shins, scraped knees and stubbed toes than I can think, but It's hard to use it just for those situations. It helps, a lot, but that really makes people wonder I suppose. The cane is also good or navigating shiny floors, I'm sensitive to glare and sometimes even get vertigo on them because they feel far away, this is also because my eyes don't work right.

Newsflash: no one cares that much.
What, she's seriously expecting someone to walk up to her and say "hey, how blind are you? Sorry I can't let you use this cane, then." No one gives a fuck. You could see across several spectra normal humans can't and I still wouldn't give a fuck if you used a cane.
The reason I don't stop and give in to my "pride" is that I know the light exposure is hurting me.

It's not obvious, it's slow, but every time I try to brave the great outdoors without a cane, I'm diminishing my vision.

You're like an incredibly whiny vampire.

Boy I wish I could. I wish I could find something that did the same thing, that didn't give the "wrong" idea. But unlike the rest of the world, glasses don't make my problem go away. Here's where the cane/wheelchair anaolgy goes against me, because people seem to think I went and "Got a wheelchair to deal with a stiff toe". Believe me, if I could have found something else, anything else, I would have tried it. But so far, nothing else works.

What, did you steal this cane from another blind person? Who cares? It's your cane. If you want to wear it up your ass that's your goddamn business.

I hope I get the nerve to meet and talk to this new student, and I hope the reaction does not become an issue of " No, she has problems, you don't"

Oh yeah I'm sure the campus is hanging onto this story.
Here's what your classmates are thinking:
I gotta get in that exchange student's pants somehow before she goes back to some unpronounceable "istan" country and then I gotta do this bullshit assignment for some fucking class I don't wanna take and then I--
Notice how "I" never vanishes from the thought. Because that's all people are thinking about.

Seriously, whether or not you agree with them, it's getting to be a really, really warm time of year, sweltering in some places. If you get a missionary at your door, even if you aren't interested, by all means, offer the poor kids some ice water.

No I don't want them to think that's an invitation for them to come back and talk to me about dumb bullshit. I think it's even a commandment: "bring ye your own water if you ventureth to the great yonder."

A few weeks ago, Dari and I got slammed with a 600 dollar critical bill. It was a computer error on the part of the bank AND the service (because we have awesome luck!), but something we're still responsible for paying.

Uhhh--
I'd switch banks if this were so.

I've put my motorcycle up for sale, I've tried whoring my art out everywhere,

Try just regular whoring.
I bet a freak show like you could get quite a few costumers who'd be in it just for the story.
I'm sorry that was insensitive of me and not very productive.
... Nah that's the best idea I've had yet.

Just an idea I've been kicking around.

I want to take a shot at drawing, well, a lot of the pokedex. I've been a pokemon fanatic since I was wee.

The problem is there's 400 and something of them,

649.
At the time of her writing: 493.
What, you're a huge fanatic, been into Pokemon forever but couldn't name the actual specific number of Pokemon?
Whatever.

and that's a lot of work to take on, especially for free, as free work always pulls some time from commissions.

Are you for real?
You know, guys, painting all these Warhams is a lot of work to do for free even though it's something I want to be doing.
I'm not saying you have to donate, but--

My conundrum is that I don't feel right being commissioned to draw characters under copyright.

I like how she says that like it's some kind of moral code she's following and not, you know, the law.

I have other motivations to make this a pay project as well. I became a pokemon fan because of my best friend, Caleb. He was my favorite person growing up, we got in a lot of trouble, and had a lot of fun together. He encouraged me to draw, he was part of why I'm a furry, he was my first boyfriend, and in 2004, he passed away at age 15, he had an extremely aggressive form of lymphoma. I've wanted to do a project in his honor for a while.

Heh, I still have his Arbok and Mew.

So here's a mindfuck, yeah: Mew and Ditto have the same colors (both regular and shiny forms) and weigh the same. Ditto is the result of a failed attempt to clone Mew.
Anyway what follows is a bunch of fuck and I think I have to go do something for a class.

Oh what the fuck

Black text on an orange and black background.
Readability? What's that?
Seriously click on that blog and look at what I have to put up with for this update. This update will not proceed until you do.

If you were in solitary confinement for the rest of your life, and you discovered a cockroach in your room, would you kill it or make it your friend?

Who thinks of this shit?

Why are those the only two choices?

Yeah that's a good point, actually. Why are there only two choices? Imagine if in life those were the only two options with people.

Can't I just not kill it? I don't kill bugs, not often at least. I guess it's the hippie in me, but I think that they are a little life with a little soul and I should respect that unless they are really interfering with my life. I had my house sprayed for roaches last month,

Oh well if they're interfering it's okay to compromise your morals.
Isn't that the argument Hitler used when exterminating millions of Jews?

but I never killed the one or two I saw. My cat killed them eventually or Zack, so it's not like I let my house get infested.

Oh so it's okay as long as you aren't directly doing the killing.
You know you could just say "I don't have a moral issue with killing roaches" and this exercise in tedium could be avoided.

I kill ants if there is a large amount of them in my house or car, but if a spider, or one ant is just wondering through, I leave it alone.

So it has to be a big kill.
I can accept this.

Seventeen percent of divorces in the united states are caused by infidelity and those are just the ones who get caught or aren't forgiven. Maybe I'm crazy, but I don't believe that cheating is just about sex.

Gearing up for a Biblical "well if you think about it's sort of the same as actually doing it--" no not really but whatever.

Couples may not have sex as much as someone else, but I am pretty sure if you were so desperate to have sex that you were willing to cheat, you could just talk to your spouse about it. One night of sex is never worth losing someone that you truly love.

Have my wife nag at me some more instead. Good tip.

Then, there's the nagging. I am a firm believer that no relationship problem short of abuse and cheating can't be solved by talking it out.

Most people are borderline illiterate. You honestly expect them to approach a problem with any sort of rational mind?

.I admit that's not good, but its the times that I let everything out that I know I'm really looking for a break up. The toilet seat was left up, he can never find the remote, she shops too much, they never walk the dog.

Christ, could you come up with fucking more cliched examples?
All right I got it: she's addicted to internet gambling and he's a registered sex offender.
Now there's some dramatic tension.

It would be rude to leave a relationship with a few walls still standing, I guess. It's much better to break it down to it's foundation. The truth is, that foundation will never go away though. As much as we want to break all connections to the person we were in a relationship with, we will always have the same foundation, us, to build our next relationship on.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOU NUT?

I find it quite annoying that I spend hours practicing for a show. Then I spend every weekend for several weeks putting on a show. I post about it on my facebook, I text friends about it, I offer several people my free tickets, and yet no one ever fucking comes. The last show my mom came,Zack came, and Kandi came that was it.

Who wants to watch you work?
I know you're a magician and it's a lot of fun but I don't invite my friends to come see me bumble through a remedial English lesson, do I?
Also anyone paying close attention to your bullshit will see right through the illusion. Don't let the smoke and explosions confuse you.

So fucking annoying! I always support my friends with their shit.

You know when you use your support as a form of blackmail later most of your friends would rather do without support?

It really insults me when I'm like "hey we are having 15 different shows over 4 weeks, and I have 2 free tickets, do you want to go" and I get "oh, no I am busy" (for the next 4 weeks? I think no) or "I don't want to go alone" or "I will probably go next Friday" (which results in them never coming). Do you know how many Rocky Horrors I have seen because Adam is in it?

Plays are boring and I got iron chain to make.
Oh, what, like these assholes are going to suit themselves up?
No, so I'll do it. For a price.

I lot, probably over 50 since he joined the cast. I am trying to save up to afford a fucking $40 ticket to the spirit of Norfolk so I can see Julanne and Jr preform? yes, I have been trying to go for a while now. If I had never gone to anyone'e show I would probably have a couple extra thousand dollars and at least a few months extra time left over.

So stop fucking going, what? The benefits of not going are clearly outweighing going now.
Oh there's you. Hambeast, can't say I'm surprised.

I don't get it. I mean, I know the job market is hard now, but I'm a nanny. It's not exactly a common job. Even if there are a billion stupid girls out there trying to be a nanny, I am a real nanny.

>not a common job
>billions of girls
Oh but it's okay because you're a real nanny.

OMGmy friend invited me to this military wives/girlfriends group on facebook. I considered joining because I have made a few friends who are military wives lately and I thought maybe I'd make some more. Then I saw this list of things that military guys should know about their spouse. It was a lot of tupid shit like she needs two sets of dog tags oen for her rear view mirror and one to wear all the time. That she's super strong and how he's her hero, and shes his princess.

I'm just sitting here with my mouth open and my eyes unfocused. Am I reading words?

One said he he got a higher rank, he would get laid. She'd stop talking to her civilian friends, and make a bunch of friends online because no one else understands. Really

Bitches be crazy? Seriously edit your posts, Christ.

they were all crazy like that there were only like 3 things that weren't crazy. I don't fucking get it. Why do these women obsess about their husband's job? Yeah, it's a little different than being with a guy who works at McDonalds, but you will never catch me with dog tags on my rear view mirror.

Yeah getting shot at by desert people is a little different than making burgers.

They act like their life is so different and that only other people who live that life can undestand and are worthy of their time.

So they're like everyone else, actually.
Know what the hardest job in the world is? Whatever job you're doing at that second, apparently.

People work out of town all the time!

Working out of town, your APC hammered by a mine-- same thing, really.

Not to mention, I don't see why I need friends who 'understand' to me that means that I'm expected to bitch about it all the time.

Weren't you just bitching that none of your friends understand you and never come see your shows?

Warning: this is not safe for work

Oh don't worry no one can read it anyway. Not that they'd want to.

It had been six months long months since I had gotten to touch a woman's flesh. six long months without feeling any release except for the kind of relief the palm of my hand provided. It wasn't the same. Prostitutes wouldn't have been the same either, nothing was the same as her. She was the most amazing lover I'd ever had, if I couldn't have her, I didn't want anyone.

Somehow I suspect this is some sort of story she's writing and not something based in fact.
Anyway fuck this nonsense.

YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME

WHAT THE FLYING FUCK AM I READING?
So let me get this straight: I gotta not only agree to read each entry before I read it (natch) I gotta click the "back" button for each additional entry, like it's some kind of goddamn prize I want to be reading?
Also your avatar appears to be Tails of Sonic the Hedgehog fame in a Wehrmacht (Nazi) uniform. Great.
Also hi everyone. For all you naysayers about FFXIV I direct you to the recent good news. I told you fuckers you were babbies who needed to learn some goddamn patience.

Will you write about the vital importance of clean water to support Blog Action Day? Do you think journaling can help raise awareness and promote a healthier planet?

"Raising awareness" has to be number one on my list of "all time favorite things liberal white people say to feel self-important".
Like, what, problems are fixed because people are aware and upset and willing to have a polite conversation about it? Like the road to a developed country doesn't lie on concrete, steel and industry? Are you people oblivious to the thousands upon thousands of years of development and strife it took to get us this far?

Also I'd like to meet the person who would argue clean water isn't important. I think most people are keenly aware that clean water is important to having any standard of living.
Planet's already fucked up. We've developed on so much land with our paved roads, refined metals to make cars that pollute the air with petroleum exhaust, and keep making babies for families consisting of 1,400 kids that eat all of the food and consume all of our available resources.

Oh yeah like you'd be so much happier banging this horseshit out on a rock in a hut somewhere. Fuck you.
Planet maybe fucked but industry didn't ruin it. Corporate greed did.

Way to go you ignorant monkeys. And even if we were to find another planet to Terra-form, it'd just be a matter of time before that one's trashed, too.

>Even if we find another planet to terraform
>implying our current technological basis allows for terraforming
Hi from the past, I guess.
Also I think this planet is suitable. Didn't have to look very far, even.

What does this day mean to you?

Date posted: September 12th, 2010.
Well I know what I was thinking September 12th, 2010.
10 DAYS UNTIL FFXIV HOLY SHIT TIME IS EXPANDING BEFORE MY VERY EYES

Wake up, do something, go to sleep.

Note to America: Please get over it. It's been nine years already.

Yeah America, come the fuck on. What happened? Some of your shit got blown up. IT'S NOT LIKE MOST OF YOU EVEN KNEW ANYONE INVOLVED, CHRIST.
I'm just being unreasonable for effect, honestly. In all seriousness I have no strong feelings about September 11th.
I know that's probably not the popular thing to say, being an American an all, but fuck it. I don't know anyone involved~

Some say this brought the country together as a united collective. A collective who said, "Hey. These guys don't like us and they killed our people. We go to war for this."

Maybe you're unfamiliar with a term called revenge. Might want to look into it sometime. It's kind of important to understand revenge and retribution if you want to understand how most people tend to operate.
Also if there was ever a good reason to go to war it's because someone is killing you.
I mean, what, we were supposed to roll over and accept Japan bombing Pearl Harbor?
Actually you'd probably say yes, Captain Anime.
Of course we learned very quickly no one knew what they were doing in the war and the situation evolved into a bad idea but hey, hindsight is always 20/20.
Personally I said we should have built a giant fighting robot in the place where the towers stood and next person to attack us gets the Gundam up on their shit, but no one listened.

What good has the war done for the homeland? It made the country into a prison.

Went out today (admittedly to a place I didn't want to go but whatever, I had a choice to not go) came home, about to play FFXIV. How am I a prisoner, exactly?
In fact I could literally leave this country right now if I wanted. Name one prisoner (besides Lindsay Lohan OH TIMELY) who can leave jail at will.

A prison making its own citizens the prisoners, only to cater to illegal immigrants who take advantage of the system.

Make it easy for you: Light the nukes and start over.

I'd really like to see you survive a nuclear holocaust. Ever play Fallout? No? Well it'd be that much suffering with half the intrigue.
And now there are no more posts. I see how why there's one post per page. If there wasn't you'd be out of posts in about five minutes and far, far less annoying.

Oh wait, what?

Forgot to post Monday. Well, I didn't "forget" I was just busy with other shit and then in my down time I was playing FFXIV. I had a meeting with some people in a closet where they talked about me like I wasn't there and then I had to go to class. Then today I had to sit in high school remedial English.
Yeah my life has been a bit strange lately. Anyway I'm sure you're not here to listen to me drone on about boring shit like how idiots don't know what a comma is: you're here to listen to me blather on about how idiots don't know what a comma is on the internet.
Here we have Faithful_Summer (hurrrrr) and I can discern from what I've read of her post (critical analysis yo) that she's a hipster bitch.

Based on the books on your bookshelf, what conclusions would people draw about you?

He was probably born sometime around the year 1450. He owns more than three books with a Maltese cross emblazoned on the side or front so he's probably some sort of Nazi.
No you plebs the Maltese cross is different than the Iron cross. I keep telling you this shit.
Here, compare:
Iron cross
Maltese cross
See? Completely different. Could not be more dissimilar-- all right they're virtually identical.

I like teen fiction, vampires, scifi and classic Lit.

Ever notice that when talking to girls? They'll ask some bullshit leading question that I'm not going to answer because you'll think I'm weird so I just reroute it back at you and your response to "what kind of books do you like?" is "I LIKE ALL BOOKS." HURRR THEN YOU WON'T MIND ME TALKING ABOUT DANTE'S INFERNO FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES. "Tee-hee I don't know what that is!" HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU LIKE ALL BOOKS IF YOU HAVEN'T EVEN READ THE INFERNO GOD YOU SUCK.
Or, even better: "what kind of music do you like?"
"I like all music!"
"Oh yeah? Like Pink Floyd?"
"No."
"Dire Straits?"
"No."
"Otis Redding?"
"No."
THE FUCK ARE YOU LISTENING TO THEN?
This is why I don't talk to people. You trying to be cute and agreeable is very disagreeable to me.
Oh but I'm sure if I had trotted PITBOOOOOOOOOOOOL out she'd have been all over that. Goddamn, you don't have to listen to every shitty song popular radio feeds you. You're allowed to form your own opinion.

My doc is out of town and this certainly doesn't seem like anything I need to rush to get checked out, but it sure is annoying. Since the last weekend of our vacation (starting Sat., Aug. 28th), I have had this bad smell/taste lingering and popping up at the most random times.

Sinus infection shut up it'll go away on its own you don't need to be on everything for every little sniffle you have.
That reminds me of what we were covering today in honors English: run-on sentences. I use run-ons strategically for momentum. Don't cover that shit in 9th grade English. Gotta learn on your own, kids, or they'll ruin you forever.

No one else smells it.

No they wouldn't. That's because your nose is rotting.
Now here's a three paragraph essay about a pair of shoes I'm not reading.

I've been home for less than 5 hours. My feet are swelling back up and fast.

EDEMA. Be less of a hambeast~

I'm going to see my doc next week after he gets back from vacation, but I'm honestly getting kind of freaked out. Should I be heading to the ER?

I'm sensing a theme.

What is your favorite weird food combination?

I don't eat weird food combinations There's this thing called "taste coherency" and I think I made the term up but just because shit tastes good does not mean it'll taste good together.

When I was in highschool, we used to eat vanilla ice cream on Doritos.

See this is exactly what I mean.
Oh here's this old gem from a few weeks ago:

Do you think a marriage license should have a renewal or expiration date, just like a driver's license?

and her response is equally brilliant:

Sorry, this seems like a dumb question to me. It's not like you have to take a test to get a marriage license. And once you're married, it's not like your marriage can expire (and they sure shouldn't change it to be that way b/c then people like Zac would continually forget to renew it and things would be chaotic). So why on earth should you need to renew your marriage license?

NO STUPID THE QUESTION WASN'T WHETHER OR NOT THEY DO EXPIRE IT'S WHETHER OR NOT YOU THINK THEY SHOULD EXPIRE.
Now she's talking about a nose piercing and quite frankly

I need to know everything you know about Parathyroid issues.

All right here we go.

My back is in bad shape. Has been for ages. I'm sure at least 50% of it has to do with my weight.

Where's my picture of Groucho Marx making a troll face?
It's somewhere--
Ah fuck it.
Now here's 5000000 posts that compromise her Twitter posts. So I'm reading Twatter on Livejournal. I wish there was a single word for the feeling you get right before you cock the trigger and blow your brains out, because I'd be using it right now.
I know, I'll coin the phrase: Faithful_Summering.

How is it that until just recently, I had never heard of the terms "fluid" or "pan-sexual"?

You never heard the term "fluid"? Like a liquid? "Pansexual" is an okay term to have never heard because they made that the fuck up but fluid, really?
What scientific or medical breakthrough do you most want to happen in your lifetime?
Bionics. If you say anything else you're provably stupid.

Easy. A cure for cancer.

PICK BIONICS. STOMACH CANCER? BOOM, BIONIC STOMACH. Also known as "biomechatronics" if you're a fan of words that are impossible to pronounce.
Stem cell research is so nearsighted. So, what, you grow a replacement organ WITH ALL THE SAME FLAWS AS THE HUMAN ONE THAT FAILED.
No, you need enhanced organs.

My ideas are ranging anywhere from Greece/Santorini to Holocaust sites.

I could go to the CRADLE OF ALL WESTERN CULTURE or where some atrocious shit happened. WHAT A DECISION.

I spilled a soda on my phone. Now it is dead. At least, it seems that way. Currently letting it dry out to see if that changes anything. *cries*

You spilled a liquid on your phone, then to see if it was ruined you turned it on? Well guess what ruined your phone, dumbass. Here's a brotip: submerging something electronic doesn't ruin it automatically. Gotta have some sort of current in there.

Way to go, Va. Epic fail.

EPIC FAIL GUYS XD
EPIC FOR THE WIN
Oh right, this. I ended up doing my rank 10 Guildleves in FFXIV instead.
Anyway entry over because I don't feel like reading posts about Obama from 2 years ago.

Hnnnng

Oh man. I don't get what it is about FFXIV but it seems like anything related to that game makes people bitch. They'll bitch, and acutely. Yesterday they changed the craft system because it wasn't working right (apparently, I never had trouble) so now you have to do standard synths instead of rapid synths. Literally you can just click one button instead of another. I failed maybe 4 more synths than I normally do and people are threatening to quit over this.
YOU WANNA GIVE IT A DAY, ASSHOLES?
I guess I don't understand this whole attitude of needing your infantile whims fulfilled at every moment. It'll work and you'll get your rapid synths back if you give it ten fucking minutes, Jesus.
Anyway today we have "The Pen Is Mightier... than the sword" which I always thought was a sketchy saying. Hey, hey, if the pen is mightier than the sword why do actions speak louder than words?
The truth is everyone says this shit to avoid having a thought for once.

What inspires you in life? What makes you want to reach for the stars and do something truly extraordinary?

I guess sheer force of will does. I mean really anything you do is pointless so the only reason to do anything at all is because you want to do it.

Child-like wonder, I guess you could call it. I may be twenty-eight, but I can't help but see magic and beauty and mystery in almost everything I encounter.

You're 28. You're posting on Livejournal about how much your job sucks. You don't have wonder about anything.
"Child-like wonder" goes alongside "child at heart" as one of the douchiest things you can say and one of the most misleading things, too. What's with all this desire to be a child again?
Yeah, remember when nothing made sense and you couldn't do shit? Oh yeah, let me go back to those times.
Shit motherfucker, you can get in your car, partake in the MIRACLE OF HUMAN FLIGHT and be in another fucking country tomorrow if you wanted to. Tell your job to get fucked and adventure across India.
Let's see a kid do something like that.

Okay, long time no post, but I've got a fun story to share from my adult ESL class last night.

Oh this'll be fun. Let me tell my horror story after to bring the audience down.

Well, one of the topics was "Phobias" and when asked, I explained that a phobia is when you are afraid of something--very afraid.

That's not a phobia, idiot. If I'm "very afraid" of the man with a gun pointed to my face in the bank I'm not being phobic. A phobia is pathological, that is, there's a cause outside of normal fight-or-flight responses.

I guess you can't unload all this on people learning English but that's no excuse to be inaccurate.
Now, I may be a bit conservative on what I let my six and eight-year-olds watch, but I'm sure I'm not the only one who watched the trailers for Avatar and never thought what a wholesome children's movie it would be--although, apparently McDonald's did. Or maybe they just had a falling out with Disney.

Making toys for the highest grossing film of all time or another modern Disney animated flop.
Gee, McDonald's sure has no marketing sense.

(And note that I do differentiate between Vanity Press, which is predatory business, and Self-Publishing, which can be a legitimate option in a variety of situations.)

IF YOU HAD THAT MUCH TALENT YOU WOULDN'T NEED TO SELF-PUBLISH.

mood: infuriated

What exactly is our identity? An amalgamation of all our past experiences, our opinions, our reason and passion, our personality and physical attributes, or are we merely a sum of numbers, facts and details kept in a file logged somewhere in the depths of that soulless pit we call bureaucracy?

Well, really, if the movement and actions of atoms is highly regular and can be predicted and our brains are made up of nothing but atoms then freewill pretty much cannot exist, but on the other hand as you increase the number of interactions between atoms (and increase the number of atoms) the probability of an accurate prediction decays so I suppose--

Which of these definitions does today's society adhere to if something like our identity is so easy to steal?

I don't think you understand how identity theft works. They just pretend to be you to get to your money. They're not actually pretending to be you because your life is so crazy awesome.

I think in a culture like ours that celebrates the individual it is doubly atrocious to violate someone's sense of self by stealing their identity, an act on par with rape

Oh we're talking about society or something I guess.
I'm just amazed a woman was prepared to compare something to rape. Usually that's reserved for the worst crimes imaginable, and women (the people most likely to be raped if I may say so) should be extra reserved in using it for analogies.
It kind of goes back to what I said Wednesday: people immediately go to the top shelf of words to describe an emotional state because the fact is they don't feel that much and cannot properly express themselves so HUGE WORDS THAT SOUND REALLY EMOTIONAL replace actual thought.

in that it robs a person of not only their private information, but of their reputation, leaving behind a ravaged virgin whose lost innocence can never be regained, who cannot get to sleep at night because the nightmarish terror that their tormentor, their violator will return.

I'm really confused. Are we talking about identity theft (the crime) or are we talking about some kind of metaphysical "identity theft" society somehow does to you?

I understand that fear well. As a teenager I had a male family member harass me in a way that only my father's fortuitous intervention prevented from being rape.

I guess the latter, but I thought this was as bad as rape?
Now it's literally rape, I guess.

I have certainly forgiven this family member, and I'd thought I'd put those painful feelings behind me, until this morning when I investigated the arrival of a receipt for a paid traffic ticket from a county I've never heard of apparently issued to someone with a very similar name, using my information.

So it is identity theft (the crime). You seem to be confusing the actions of society with the actions of an individual. America does indeed respect the self-made man and all that shit, which is why if you notice identity theft is a heavily-punished crime.

It hurts to think I've been reduced to nothing but a series of numbers on a state issued card, and that my sense of peace and self can be so easily shattered by some uncaring and inconsiderate person's actions.

So it is a societal thing I guess. Holy fuck. Well, of course they issue a number. Do you want to organize the logistical nightmare of alphabetizing 400,000,000 people?
What about all the people with the same name?

Who we are is a fragile thing, like a butterfly.

Oh don't be so dramatic, Jesus Christ.

He stepped on a land mine in the war, The War, WWII, fighting in Europe; and spent the next two years in hospitals until they got rid of the osteomylitis by amputating from the knee down.

Oh well fuck this cunty blog, let's read his blog instead!
I bet he's not whining about identity theft or whatever. Fucker stepped on a landmine in France while being shot at by Germans, I think he's been through worse.

After his terms were up, he went into private practice and has represented people or offered legal advice up until his pace-maker failed at the age of ninety, an event he miraculously survived.

NOTHING CAN KILL THIS MAN.

It's past Wednesday, and it's not quite Friday. But I am glad it's almost over. Thursdays are my longest days

Start the long and arduous process (which I'm not getting paid for, incidentally, so my intentions must be pure) to teach English to disadvantaged youths in a high school that doesn't even have air conditioning in the morning then go to a class at 4 where I'm yelled at for not being culturally sensitive.
No, great. Really.

no, a pencil isn't and has never been considered a respectable dueling weapon

Well people are pussies and outlawed dueling so what can you do?
Every single honorable, manly means of resolving a conflict have been taken from you and people wonder why there are lawsuits out the ass now.

Granted attendance isn't what it would be if it were mandatory,

Man I wish attendance weren't mandatory on Thursday. But nope, instead I have to listen to this one cunt in particular extol the virtues of being liberal while interning in the most advantaged school in the county.
Tool. Somehow I bet he's more racist than me despite being the "most sensitive to the issue".
Oh right, this.

I brought a revision to a short story I've been playing with called "The Lawn Knight".

Not to be confused with The Green Knight, who was endlessly awesome.
Name... Ten better stories than Sir Gawain and the Green Knight.
So it's about this pussy named Gawain, right, and this Green Knight comes in and challenges one of Arthur's court to a duel but none of them want to accept because they're partying and a beheading kind of puts a damper on the festivities. Eventually Gawain is kind of guilted into dueling. The Green Knight gives Gawain the first attack, so Gawain beheads him. Instead of being butthurt and dying the Green Knight just walks over and picks his head up.
The rule was, then, that the Green Knight would get a return attack in one year, and much of the story is the ensuing quest during that interim year.
Well, I've officially created a LiveJournal now. I guess I'll put up an interesting link or two for you to enjoy.
Speaking of beheadings I think I'm going to go make some gladius blades in FFXIV.
Someone has to supply the endless engine of war, hey.
This is a gladius, for those of you who didn't know. The manliest sword ever.

IT'S LIKE THE MISTS OF TIME ARE RETREATING FROM MY SIGHT

WHEN MY FLESH IS BUT DUST IN THE SOIL AND MY BONES ARE BUT LOAM MY SPIRIT WILL RETURN TO THE COSMOS--
Oh right, hi. I beat the odds. I got into the FFXIV beta so that's why my entry is a little late. It was an epic struggle (literally. I don't mean "lol epic xD" I mean this story is literally worthy of song) but what can I say? It was an easy matter for one of my skill. Basically it involved paying seven bucks for a chance (a chance, mind, but when my chance is 100% I'll take it) and waiting. I waited for two days, basically.
Then when the flood gates opened I was one of probably less than 50 people out of thousands to EMERGE VICTORIOUS.
Anyway here we have someone who claims their skills are great but they are clearly mistaken. I found this blog on Fatshionita (see what they did there). Fat girls into fashion, heh.

So I was mildly bored by last night's True Blood, even though tons of important stuff was happening, and then suddenly came the last five minutes when Russell Edgington abruptly became the awesomest thing in the history of television and totally pwned everything that has ever existed.

I'd get on your shit about "awesomest" and "pwned" but let me tell you what isn't boring: FFXIV. Everything that abortion of an entry XIII should have been and more and it isn't even out yet.

He's about to come pick me up and we're gonna go through the Starbucks drive-through.

It bears mentioning that Starbucks uses real cream in their coffee. Just a thought for why you weigh 500 pounds. Also the smithing mini game in FFXIV makes absolutely no fucking sense. I don't get this.

I am going to once attempt to listen to an audiobook while I make the eight-hour drive home to Janesville.

I wish Lance Henriksen would record an audio book. Tell me he couldn't make even Stephen King listenable. Him or Mickey Rourke, hmm.

It is so beautiful outside that it is almost physically painful for me to be sitting here in my windowless office. It is 75 degrees with a clear blue cloudless sky and a light breeze. It's making me ache.

Hmm that must be really tough. I'm guessing the reason you're in pain is because you are 300 pounds overweight and your heart doesn't have any room to beat anymore.
What do you think, should I level lancer or marauder next? Lancer looks promising.

We often say that everyone's good at something. Everyone has a skill set. Generally when we say that, we're talking about the Big Skills.

My craft is mental illness. Who else could sit there for 5 hours doing nothing but refreshing Twitter? Never again, incidentally. If I see that dumb fucking Twitter icon again in my life it'll be too soon.
Then I unraveled the secret: just camp their forums and when the admin posts click the "claim beta code" button over and over and don't give a single fuck about loading times and all that shit.

I'm good at ironing.

Yeah. I know. Ironing? It's true.

IRONING? BUT ONLY ONE PERSON HAS EVER BEEN GOOD AT THAT SKILL-- Jeeesus Christ.

Saturday afternoon I went in search of a tank top and some jewelry to wear with a new dress. Then I had a massage.

Massaging fat deposits.

someone's mom had made all this super awesome vegan food including dairy-free ice cream in flavors like wasabi and peppercorn basil

wasabi ice cream. What the fuck is wrong with people?

Okay, guys. I need the wisdom of the flist! I need some new tunes for the exercise playlist.

I don't know, somehow exercising after eating gallons of wasabi flavored ice cream hardly seems like a reasonable solution to losing weight.

So since I am clueless, I must come to you to find out what have been the big popular club/dance hits this summer? I've already got that Flo Ride "The Club Can't Handle Me" song. Lately I've been listening to Taio Cruz's "Break Your Heart" a lot.

I hear all you kids like Kajagoogoo's "Too Shy" or perhaps Dead or Alive's "You Spin Me Round". Those are popular in the dance clubs with you kids, right?

What songs should I be dling for the Pod?

ETA: I wrote this two hours ago and then went off to do other things.

Billie Jean is another good choice. Or how about Def Leppard's Armageddon It? That was a big hit on this blog last entry.

I'm about to go all science geeky on yo ass. Be warned.

There are a number of concepts in chemistry which are super useful shorthand for regular life.

Oh yeah? Chemistry is useful in every day life? How so, Bill Nye?

The first is activation energy. Basically this is the energy barrier you must overcome to do a chemical reaction. The driving force behind pretty much everything in the universe is that Low Energy Is Better And More Stable, as anyone who's ever spent a Saturday afternoon on a couch can tell you. So you've got some starting materials, happy and content and stable and relatively low energy.

BORING LET'S SET OFF A VOLCANO INSTEAD. Baking soda + vinegar =
See it's the same principle only a lot more interesting than you being boring for ten paragraphs about shit I learned in high school.

You'll all be SO relieved to know that my second attempt at styling my hair as well as my hairdresser does was much more successful.

I know it's impossible to hear sarcasm over the internet but I'm just going to pretend you're being sarcastic.

I'm sure you've been on the edge of your seats, dying to know what's going on with my hair.

Probably sarcasm.

Yesterday while I was driving to work, I saw a large rectangular bumper sticker on the car ahead of me. It had a picture on it of a smiling, handsome young man. Then I got close enough to read it. It said "17-year-old Jordan saved the lives of four people by being an organ donor" and then went on to urge me to be an organ donor, too (I already am).

I saw a bumper sticker recently: "Jesus saves". The funny thing was the car was on the side of the road with the front all caved in from the truck that had just hammered it. I guess Jesus doesn't save from on head collisions.

Now, I'm no marketing genius. But if I'd been designing that sticker, I'm not sure if that's the way I would have gone. Because all I could think about then was that smiling, handsome young Jordan in the photo had suffered some untimely, tragic accident likely involving brain injury, had his organs harvested and is now dead, dead, dead.

My bumper sticker would have been going on about JORDAN'S HEROIC SACRIFICE and how WE SHOULD ALL STRIVE TO EMULATE HIS EXAMPLE. Mine would be way more effective.

So I am chilling at home tonight. I'm cooking dinner for the peeps tomorrow so I picked some recipes and went to Whole Foods for groceries. Lots of produce and vegetables. Spur of the moment bottle of wine from a local winery that looked yummy.

There's something about the word "yummy" that brings my piss to a boil. Have I ever told you about the worst show on television, incidentally? It's called "Yummy Mummy" and I'd rather watch an infant being strangled to death than Yummy Mummy. It's all about how these cunts are going to not watch the kids they squirted out and sit around in a cafe and drink Keystone Light. Whenever I see it I have to stop doing whatever I'm doing because I need my whole body to hate these people.

Have you ever seen purple sausage? You have now!

I sure have. I think I'd throw that away if I were you.

This is the Ginger Blueberry chicken sausage I bought last weekend at the farmer's market.

Ginger
blueberry
chicken
sausage.
Not everything is like peanut butter and chocolate, people. You can't just stack things that taste good and expect to have a coherent taste.
I'm not even being some pro gourmand here, either. One of my favorite foods is chicken nuggets from Wendy's.

Okay, geeks, nerds, fangirls, fanboys, and geek-adjacent folk of every variety. I have a topic. More like a hypothesis based on observation.

Oh hey, don't give a shit.

In any canon which has a definite central character, that character is the one that gets the least love from the fandom.

I said I don't give a shit, why are you still blabbing at me?

Luke Skywalker? Don't think so.

I'd argue Anakin Skywalker (Darth Vader) is the actual main character of the Star Wars canon even though Luke was the main character of the good movies (the older three).

So, what do you think? Have you seen this phenomenon in YOUR fandoms?

I don't have any "fandoms". Anything I like that other people happen to like I try to keep away from those people as much as possible.

It really is fantastic. It's just so...Holmes. It's porn for Holmes enthusiasts, the way the classic Holmes tropes have been updated and reimagined. Holmes performs the same deductions on Watson when they first meet as he did in the books, except instead of a pocket watch, he deduces Watson's family problems from his phone. Instead of monographs, Holmes has a website. Instead of chronicling his adventures with Holmes in diaries, Watson keeps a blog.

That sounds awful. I can't even begin to imagine watching this horseshit. What, so bankrupt for ideas whoever made this you're just going to take all of the creative bits and just say "OH LOOK, WATSON HAS AN iPAD NOW!" and people like this? I can't say I'm surprised, actually. People are pretty stupid and will watch anything with Apple products in it.

He wears nicotine patches instead of smoking a pipe and there are references to him being an addict in recovery.

Oh get it because Holmes was an opium fiend in the books.
Wow.
Well anyway I have to go on my own Sherlock Holmes mystery in FFXIV. Only unlike Holmes I like to have a back up plan. Gotta get my gat.

Oh well.

Last entry I eluded to using FurAffinity to find blogs but as it turns out FurAffinity isn't really blogging material. It's more a furry version of DeviantArt, which I thought that's what DeviantArt was. So I guess it's a furrier version. Not wanting to fail in this mission I did find a place where furries had blogs but most were so short and bereft of content (even the usual bullshit) my current post as it stands right now is currently longer than most of their blogs.
Anyway while I sort this nonsense out I went to this website called "Omegle" last night where you chat with idiots and I had an interesting conversation pertaining to blogs, feel free to read it:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: hello
Stranger: okay so random question.. im trying to pick a name for my blog.. which do you like better haha "Candy Coated Misconceptions" or "Reality, meet Neverland"
Stranger: hi
You: both of those are pretty awful
You: I review blogs, I'd know
Stranger: well wht do you suggest?
You: link it to me
You: let me see it
Stranger: its about my life, interesting, pic, my phtography, inspirations
You: sounds boring
You: name it "I'm really boring"
Stranger: your a whore it my blog i will make it waht i want it to be
Stranger: fuck you
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Faaantastic.
Well, it's not furries but it is girls playing video games. "Video games" since the one game is World of Warcraft.
Are you excited, incidentally? Only... 55 days and 9 hours until FFXIV!
Not that I'm keeping track or anything.

I guess it's sad that I can't even get up the gumption to have a few drinks tonight. I planned on it. But drinking alone sucks, and I know a lot of people do dumb things when they drink alone.

Drinking alone and playing World of Warcraft. Oh ye mortal coil.
Seriously please don't inflict people with your drunken antics online. I know WoW is really easy and you could probably perform admirably while drunk or high or even dead probably, but just stop.

I'm ticked at myself. I missed the drum circle yesterday, which means I'll have to wait until next month. I can't shake this sadness. It's stupid. Tomorrow is a cleansing moon, and I could pull a ritual together.

Errr, what?

But lately, I just cry at my Altar, which seems counterproductive. All I do is cry. Stupid, stupid stupid.

In Oblivion (and Morrowind too, I think) when the characters don't have anything to say they sniff and it says "SNIIIIFF" at the bottom of the screen if you have subtitles on.
So SNIIIIFF.

The trip with mom just took it out of me. I think I learned that I can't live with her. She doesn't mean to, but she has a heard time distinguishing where she ends and I begin. She and I approach life from completely different angles, and that won't work with her breathing down my neck 24/7.

So anyway,

I'm debating spending the money on a realm transfer to level my 70 Undead Lock to 80.

I mean when I played WoW I leveled to 70 (the then-cap) on a PVP server but I guess you could level in the safety of a care bear server if you're a pussy. Or a girl.

That's another $15, plus the $25 realm change.

Bobby Kotick, CEO of Activision Blizzard is a genius. Look at all this shit for what, moving your character to a new server? This is on top of the expansions, monthly fees and the 10 extra dollars for a special epic mount?
IT PRINTS MONEY!
Incidentally, Blizzard: dick move, charging a monthly fee then starting an in game cash shop.

Or I could just write my book, instead of dicking around on WoW.

On second thought it'd be no good so you might as well.

Some Saturday night. If I had any sense at all, I'd wash my hair, go to the cigar bar and pick up some lonely rich 40-something for random sex and a decent glass of wine.

Whoring yourself out, marvelous.
Also don't get cute with me. You play World of Warcraft. No way you have the charisma to pull something like that off.
I mean "pull something like that off" quite literally, too.

Back in the 80s, I boycotted Exxon stations for the Valdez disaster.

... How old are you? I was a little over one when that happened so I wasn't boycotting shit.
Again, quite literally.

I have mixed feelings about boycotting BP Stations; they are locally owned, and I can't help but think that we are hurting "the little guy" by boycotting the local BP station.

Sleep with wolves, etc etc.

I'll try and update from the road, but frankly, it may do me some good to unplug for a few days. It's been a highly negative week, and curiously, I'm not the cause of it; just the recipient.

Those are the times where I get my jump pack and lightning claws and start causing my own negativity.
There's a distortion field housed in each blade, and there's four blades on each hand. Biological material is nothing.

Saturday, my guild on WoW disintegrated. The girl who recruited me and her posse left. I logged on to find a bunch of new people (mostly High School/College-age boys) and people I considered friends gone.

High school and college age boys? At last, you can get something done.
If there's anyone you want in your guild, it's college boys.
Sure it may not result in your "rah rah girl power" attitude but I'm sure your characters won't complain.

The guild leaders were going on and on about "positive changes." I just sat and cried. It's dumb. And ridiculous.

I remember when my LS in FFXI had the "we need to make some changes" chat. The resulting response was "don't be a fag."

A heads up would have been nice. But my play-times are very casual, and as always, this "casual" guild is now hell-bent on progression.

Yeah that's kind of what my LS turned into too. But in FFXI they just call it "endgame" content because SE tries hard not to make it sound like a second job you have to pay for.
Also it isn't really a "progression" as such since most of the shit is situational because SE doesn't try to fuck you over with each expansion release like Blizzard does, hmm.

But I thought I had the "not normal" thing beat when I was a teenager. I grew. I lost 50 pounds. Got boobs. Had boyfriends. Lost the ever-present tissue box and traded it for a sic pack of Keystone Light.

I'm looking at a cunt in training.
Keystone Light, huh.

In between the years, my Thyroid quit (there's a fancy name for it; I'll get into that later.), my metabolism crashed, my tear ducts stopped working properly, my skin revolted on me, I got carpal tunnel in both wrists and one foot, my back went out semi-permanently. I had a miscarriage, and seven years later had a Hysterectomy because of disease.

This is the part in Warhammer where they'd replace half your body with bionics and you'd be able to crush an adult man's skull with one hand.

That's not normal. I'm 39 years old, and I have the cumulative problems of a 60 year old in poor health.

Oh she's 39. Or 60.

Because I'm a difficult patient. And nuts. Don't forget nuts. Completely batshit fucking insane.

Jesus Tapdancing Christ. Wouldn't YOU be?

No. No I'd just be waiting for the bionics.

Dune is a classic example. Campy shit in 1985 David Lynch's hands. Totally different story when made into a miniseries in 2000.

You know there was a book before both of those considered one of the top 5 greatest scifi books ever written, right?
So everything that follows this is "zzzz" and "hormonal issues" so I think I'm going to punch out now.

Super Barf IV

People have just been making a general nuisance of themselves lately. Standing in my way and just freezing in place to talk to their friends or whatever. It's like everyone is playing a game that I'm not invited to that will soon involve me punching them in the head.
Anyway here we go for today: Sassymisss (ruh-roh)

Two weeks ago I went on a date with a man I really felt was/is confused about his sexuality.

She knows you better than you know yourself, asshole. Listen up now.
So already this is really presumptuous but I must admit no girl has ever said this to me because I'm basically a paragon of manliness but let's see.

He reminded me of those guys who every one knows is gay years before they admit it themselves and then when they "come out of the closet" everyone says "We already knew."

So one of those guys-- what? She acts like everyone knew someone like this.
Actually wait yes I did know someone like this, huh.

He was very fun to be with and I instantly felt comfortable with him. I was back in seventh grade though. He was my best guy friend that afternoon and I could tell him anything, even about the other "boys" I'd recently been on dates with and we poked fun at the situations we'd found ourselves in, and we'd laugh hysterically and he'd poke me on the side and playfully push his body into me.

Wow I just copied this in and it looks even longer now. I want to edit it down a bit but I'm not sure where to cut and not get half a thought. Please self-edit for clarity as well as length.

I acted completely silly and goofed off with him as if I really was 13 again.

Wow look at how self-confident & zany she is-- oh man huge yawn just now.

I'd explain certain scenarios and attempt to act them out in front of him on an imaginary stage.

How old are you?
I know you were just making a joke (using "joke" loosely) about being back in middle school but I'm being serious. How old are you?

This all took place at a museum. We'd even poke fun at people we saw at the museum. Laughs galore, yes. But there was not one iota of physical attraction.

Hey I asked you a question. How old are you?

I really saw us becoming the best of friends or if for some crazy reason I decided to put my own feelings about his confusion of his sexuality aside and decide to date him, then I'd see myself in a "Will and Grace" situation.

Bro got friend zoned.

Really. He had a passion for female singers but he had an obsession with Regina Spektor.

Who?

He said "Regina, I felt, filled a void within me that I felt I always had, my whole life." Well, he meant that her songs filled this "void." Men don't speak like that, at least, heterosexual men don't.

Except Musashi who had an entire chapter in his book about having a void in you and being the void itself and shit.
No big deal just killed 40+ in honorable duels. With swords.
Certainly no pansy, anyway.

At the end, or near the end, he asked me to send him an email letting him know what I thought about our date.

Really, dude?

"Really?" I asked, "that's a bit awkward." "Is it?" he replied. "Well, I think so. I mean, seriously, you want me to do that?"

All right I think I just realized a problem with my own critiquing system. Had this been a fictional story I would have said "real people don't talk like this" but evidently yes, they do.
I guess I should rephrase that: "real people who aren't cunts don't talk like that."

"Well," he says," I guess not. I just wanna see how you feel about the situation, see if you might wanna go out again."

All right, whatever.

Well, there it was. He was asking me out again. It was a funny way to ask.

What a fag. Dating girls, what does he think he is? A girl? Wait, no--

(His straightforwardness was also a bit much for me. Men aren't usually in the vicinity of asking for a second date before the first one ends.)

Straightforwardness, definitely a trait considered feminine. Wait, no--

"It was fun. I laughed a lot, thank you. I think you may be gay."

Here would be my response to this text message:
"sick burn but seriously when can I pick you up?"
Of course I'd never date this cunt in the first place but this was kind of a hypothetical situation where I would.

I hope this doesn't make me sound petty or shallow but I don't think there is a way around it.

I already think you're pretty shallow so no risk here har har har

I have always believed that to find someone who you will form a truly significant relationship, it would have to be someone you already know, be it through school, growing up, friend of a friend, work and so on.

Wow, what an idea! To form relationships with people you have to, pfft, form relationships with people!

I always valued that idea. With our ever advancing technology and the internet,

I was rereading an essay I wrote last night and realized I included both the phrases "dark age of technology" and "relentless march towards an unblinking future". I have no idea what the latter one means but I don't think I was thinking about "writing about reading".
Relentless march towards an unblinking future. I think that's what space marines do.

"Online dating" is not at all like dating in the realm of your own physical world.

Oh really? The internet isn't physical?

Pictures are very important because one must be visually appealing to the other sex, first and foremost.

If you're crafty you can bypass the whole picture thing I'd wager.

I was shocked! How could someone represent themselves a certain way online and know that when they come to meet you in person they will notice the difference?

Yes the way I represent myself online is totally how I am in the real world.
Putz.

I did not know how I was to excuse myself from this "date" and I wasn't brave enough to say anything. I couldn't be anything other than polite and have conversations.

I was trying to think of a good Warhammer quote for this situation but I'm pretty sure the society that proclaims "there is no truth, only death" probably doesn't have much of an issue with lying.

It seems I've been absent for a while. The reason being is because my "love life" or my dating has had a significant lack of interest.

... Uh-huh?

Dating is hard enough to do when you meet someone alone, online dating I have found to be a bit more difficult.

Wait, are you implying all the shit that follows is interesting?

I have been on so many dates since the inception of my new decade and I haven't met a decent, probable candidate to sweep me away as I have hoped.

Inception of your new decade what?
I guess you just hit 30 (or 20 but that hardly seems something to be concerned about) and so you have to use this weird language that doesn't make much sense because, what, you fear aging?

I also started to wonder recently if maybe I may be my own obstacle in finding love. Do I give off the air of "I'm a fun girl and I just want to have fun?"

Let me put your fears at ease: no. So far you seem the opposite of fun, actually.

Do I not, in my personality, exert that I am a great person and I do want to find love? Am I just a fun first date?

Rhetorical question with an answer: you're not fun.

These questions pose a concern for me. If the answers are "yes," 'no," and "yes" how do I change this?

The answers are, in order, "no, no and no" and you should be more concerned.

In the past week and a half I had an exciting three first-date stint.

Oh my God do you think shit about shit? Do you know anything at all about... Not this?

I was home with my daughter and eleven year old cousin

You have a daughter?
First I'm hearing of this.
Wouldn't you think to mention something as significant as a daughter before now? Shouldn't you be looking for someone who is potentially a good father for your child? Shouldn't you, more importantly, be there for your dumb kid?

First of all, I'm certain I mentioned in my first post that I'm 30, single and looking for "ridiculous, can't-live-without-each-other love."

Doesn't exist, raise your stupid kid and shut up.

I'm 30, single, mom, waitress, I have an English Lit. degree from a very expensive school, currently looking to find my niche in writing and, to boot, a job in the same.

What a degree in just English gets you, folks.
I can differentiate between reality and fantasy, so I may not find "ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love" but a girl can dream.
I hate you.
Anyway this looks like her very first entry so that means I made it all the way through her blog without choking on my own vomit.
Hurray!

Such is the fate of the enemies of man

Here's some shit. You have to agree you are over 14 to read each entry and yet she still censors all of her language what's the point

Did you know .....

*Acting isn't really acting... it is simply playing off each other emotions..

Acting isn't even acting, man. Deep.

*You can kill a man if you kick him hard enough in the face....

Did you know it only takes 10 pounds of pressure in the right direction to break an adult male's neck? Keep that in mind.

June 16th we met for a walk in the park...

Silently walking around kicking our feet. He was one of my first of many dates to come. There was trails behind the trails in the park, slightly little off roads of hiking.

TRAILS BEHIND THE TRAILS AND OFF ROADS AND KICKING FEET THIS IS GOOD, CLEAR, CONCISE WRITING

Walkin around trails as we talk about really nothing of importance. Stories about basic life, old relationships.... both very closed books, but yet attracted by the paper back covers wraped around our pages.

Our mom's are both saints...well,... his mom is a saint and I said my mom is an angel.

Plurals~

ok ...... remeber those gothic type teddy bears they used to sell at like a hot topic and spencers.

"remeber"
this is becoming so common pretty soon it'll be standard spelling.
No, you illiterate halfwits, "remeMMMMMMMMber" has some extra consonants in it. You don't even say "remeber" unless you live in the hills or some shit.

what where they called?...

..............Teddy Scares.... ( that actually took a while to figure out )

So here's the scene at my house currently:

"I am Society's Abortion"

I had a good friend (oh mister man ) say this to me today.

If a friend said this to me I think we'd stop being friends. What a cunt.

I sat there racking heads and Smashing minds on different points of the world.

I'm guessing it doesn't take much for your mind to smash or your brain to wrack. Meanwhile my brain is still full of fuck.

Why we so scared of being judged?

I FEAR NO MAN.

As I shake your hand or give you a hug, I can tell you're eyein me up

No I'm not.

Your judgin me before I even handed you the opportunity to get to know me.

Oh yeah because you're so deep and there's so much to know.

People are so amazing if you get to know them.

Not really.

I'm an open book, but just like a book you wanna start with page one, sometimes you get lost if u start in the middle.

You remind me a lot of a school book.
That is, I'm kind of obligated to read and say I will read and may get as much as a half in before getting bored and just looking up the summary online and then getting an A on the test because, lo and behold, there's not that much to know in the first place.

I'm AWESOME and I know it!

My name is Anna (on-ah)

Onna. Are you Russian? You better fucking be.

Lets meet up and see where it goes... you could be my something special or I could be yours.

Let's not. How about that?

We never know... don't try and play with me like I'm a doll, I'm smarter then that. I'll pick you apart and figure you out if you try.

You couldn't figure out a VCR.

I’m not all clingy and needy, but I like attention

No, a girl on Livejournal wants attention?
I don't even believe it.

I wont pry for it, if I don’t get it that’s okay, just don’t get mad at me if someone else does give me attention and they steal my interest.

Oh so you're a whore. I get it.

I have an insane sex drive but I’m not slutty. Being whore-ish just seems so morally unjustified.

Recent textual evidence would suggest otherwise.

So tell me…. Did I peak your interest?

You didn't pique, peak, peek or Pict my interests.
Anyway I think I'm out. Got this thing to do where I go to school and learn about empowering vocabulary or something I don't even know what's going on please help me.

Cinco de Whatever

It's amazing to me the number of Americans genuinely excited about their recent excuse to drink: Cinco de Mayo. As a little experiment, I asked anyone who mentioned their excitement for this holiday what the holiday actually meant, and not a single person could answer. Only one person could even confirm it involved Mexico.
Oh well, any excuse to get hammered on cheap margaritas, I guess.
Americans celebrating an unlikely Mexican victory over the French.
Is victory against the French unlikely, or inevitable?

A fair wind blew on that day. It was chilly, but the breeze that rushed across my face was warm, comforting and carried the unmistakable sweet scent of spring rain.

It was chilly but the breeze was warm but it's spring-- whatever.

I stood with my hands buried in the pockets of my tweed blazer. Why I chose to wear this ridiculous thing is beyond me, after all, it's not like you would care.

Hey good point. I wouldn't care.
Effective storytelling at its finest.

If I recall correctly, you even told me once that you liked me for not putting on airs and feeling obligated to dress myself up.

You, not putting on airs?
Well you could knock me over with a feather.

Voices are passing by me now, but I don't see their sources, only dark lumps of upright shapes seeming to float past me like drift wood on the sea.

I feel like there's an obvious song reference I'm missing here--

I stare blankly at the cherry wood chair in front of me, noting all of the swirls and knots in its form.

Wait, shut up. Something is coming to me.
Nope, it passed.

I stand to join the line forming in the isle.
Yet some how, my mind isn't paying any attention at all.

Aisle? Perhaps she does mean isle, this is all so opaque and metaphysical who even knows where she is or what the fuck is happening?

I see your pale skin instead, remembering the way the sheets would drape over your bare waist and hip. The gray-blue color of the linen played a beautiful part in accenting your complexion.

Oh fuck me, waiting for something to happen. It's like I'm really reading something for school!
WORDS WORDS WORDS

But I struggled with the fact that if I chose to see you, my last memory of your slender features would be a lifeless one.

Like dust in the wind, dude.
Deep.
Time for a quick writing lesson:
the three most important things for a story are context, characters and plot.
Context, meaning the setting and all that background shit, is especially important for setting up the other bits because one context can and will change the tone in relation to the other things.
Take, for example, my previous mention of Cinco de Mayo: if you're Mexican it's a great celebratory day of heroes and shit, but if you're French it's probably more along the lines of "those damn rebels". The entire context of your story shifts simply by picking France or Mexico.
This story has no context, and therefore I immediately don't give a shit because I feel lost and don't really care to catch up because you also don't have any compelling characters so their struggle is totally irrelevant and obnoxious to me.
Finally you have no plot, because indeed nothing happens in the first, what, 200 or so words?
Your first goal in opening a story is to make me give a shit. Let's compare your opening with some of the most successful openings in history:

Midway in the journey of our life I came to myself in a dark wood, for the straight way was lost.

Immediately you want to know what he's talking about, so you keep reading. Why was the straight way lost? Why did he find himself suddenly in a dark wood? These are details you want to know, and notice he uses almost no description at all to paint this image.
What do you know about the woods? Nothing, besides it's dark, and yet you know exactly what he means. Go easy with description, it weighs your shit down. Here's another good one:

Today my mother died.

What, why? And one more, to ram my point home:

These are the times that try men's souls.

Now let's compare that with yours:

A fair wind blew on that day.

Oh. So?
Anyway, moving on from bad writing.
Well, I guess I'm still reading this blog so that's a given, but moving on from this bad post.

Why is everyone always fucked up, but never fucked down?

Hurrrrrrr

Never throw a rock down a well. You never know when something is going to throw it back at you from the other side.

... That doesn't even make sense.

Things seem to keep slipping through my fingers lately. Maybe I'm just being dramatic, or maybe I'm going through a downer cycle. Whatever the reason, I feel redundant and hollow

Well-- wow I just noticed you have some bizarre bold font on this. "I" in "I'm" and "am"-- oh I see. You're a fucking derp. If you are to read just the bold part, it spells out "I am redundant and hollow". Wow, real secretive.

Even though I have my guardian, I am still very far from being saved. I've come to realize that the only one who can save me, is myself. The only trouble is, the hero in me, only wants to save other people. So, I guess even the warrior is lazy too. Damn.

Anyone know what the shit is going on? I see the "secret" code continues but frankly who gives a shit--
Oh wait, I know. I have a secret code for you, and make sure to only read the bold part, now: you're a cunt.

I've come to notice that no matter how trusting people are in each other, there are always suspicions. The cold clawing of mistrust is never far behind in relationships.

A suspicious mind is a healthy mind.
But still, one might wonder what prompted such a philosophical train of thought, and the simple answer is there is no reason. We're in for the long haul with this blog, people.

I left Texas on the 5th of September,

TEXAS.
Suddenly everything makes sense.

Good cannot defeat bad.
Bad cannot defeat good.
In a world where there is neither good nor bad,
there can be no victor but the nothingness that is us.

... What?
If good and bad don't exist, how can good and bad fight?
You're stupid. This is stupid.

I didn't really like you all that much to begin with.

Then the feeling is mutual.

When I met you, I thought you were cool, you shared my love for the mystics.
But the problem was that I learned you actually live and breathe in that world.

Anyone? Anyone know what's going on?

Now you say that you like me? How can you like me if all we talk about is ghouls?

Uhhhhh, trick question?

You seem like you try so hard to fit into that world. Werewolves, Vampires, Ghosts, Spirits, Devils, Shadows. You try too hard, you're stories sound like some hokey fifty dollar movie production, or a lame campfire spook story.

You are stories sound like some hokey fifty dollar movie production.
Brilliant.

This is odd, I finally have a place to write my thoughts down, but now I have nothing to write!!
Maybe if I just start writing about random stuff, more interesting things will pop into my head to jot down. I hope so!!

In fact! I think I just figured something out to write about!

And there the post ends. I guess whatever interesting thing she found to write is a secret to us. All boring, all the time! It's Banefulvexation's blog (Jesus Christ).

I loved this person very much, I never met this person, only talked to this person. But in that I learned so much, because you see, that's all that we could do, it was never a 'lust' or physical thing.

Commas.

They were more than just my love you see, and even if they didn't love me like they said, I wouldn't care because they were still my best friend, they don't have to love me for me to love them, and that was enough for me. Lol

Whatever.

Would I find their name in the obituaries one day and cry knowing that I would never be able to meet this person, and that I wasn't able to be there for them if they had wanted to see me before they died? Its dreadfully morbid I know.. Plus I'm babbling and not making any sense..

No! You, not making any sense? I don't believe it!

So at this point I shall shut up.

Goodnight.

Poor display overall, I must say. And this is her very first entry too, awww. All the way from stardate 2007. Well I will give her one thing, at least she doesn't update her blog constantly. She waits until she really has something to say (har har) and focuses on one meaningful, entertaining post at a time.

Huuuuuuuuurrrrrrrr

Today is March 8th. Tomorrow is March 9th, and that means Final Fantasy XIII comes out. I'd say I'm excited, but I don't think what I'm feeling is excitement. Concern, perhaps. I mean I've heard a lot of shit about it. There's practically no world map (unless you count a straight line as a map), there are 15000000 cutscenes per square inch of world (not an uncommon trait in Final Fantasy, not sure why this is a criticism). When I heard this I thought it might be okay. Final Fantasy X had all that shit it and it was still a great game, obnoxious male and female lead notwithstanding.
But then I heard it. The magic silver bullet to every Final Fantasy ever: time travel. Time travel does not mix with Final Fantasy. Every time they try it comes off incredibly fucking dumb. Look at FFVIII.
Speaking of incredibly fucking dumb (smooth transition): Sweet and Lovely.

Gragh. I'm currently writing/planning about a hundred different stories. Well, with one of them, I've been planning to have Liza, my main character, fall in love with Lionel, the male lead.

Wow a love story where two people fall in love. How original.

Well, I've suddenly lost interest in getting the two together, not because I don't like Lionel, but because I've just introduced his best friend into the story, and now part of me really would like Liza to fall in love with him instead.

Maybe Lionel can still love Liza (usually a bad idea to have your two main characters with same-y names, but whatever) while she still wants the best friend. Maybe the best friend can turn out to be a total dick. Lionel comes to hate both. Maybe the best friend can wrongfully accuse Lionel of treachery, landing Lionel in a 19th century French dungeon.
Then Lionel can escape with the help of a priest accused of being a supporter of Napoleon (sort of like Lionel was) after learning all of the Priest's worldly skills (which were ample). Then, so changed by his experience, he can integrate himself back into the same society as someone else to exact vengeance on those who wronged him.
Ha, ha, just kidding this book already exists.
Of course in that book Dante's chick didn't marry Danglars (one of the men who wrongfully accused him) but one of her cousins (ew) but whatever basically the same shit.
But keep aiming for the stars, kid. I'm sure it'll work out fantastic.

This year I'm trying to set myself a personal goal for each month, whether it be something educational and improving, or totally fun and frivolous.

Sounds like it'd backfire. I'd just set my goal every month to be "this month I promise not to make any more goals for myself" but maybe you have more willpower than me.

However, I don't know what to do this month. I don't even really have any ideas. So I thought I might turn to you all for suggestions. What do you think I should do for March?

Oh, oh I have a good one: kill yourself.
Now here's her list of favorite names. I really give a fuck.

Caroline
Isabelle
Sabriel

Sabriel?
Also everyone knows the three best girl names are Cecilia, Edie and Chloe.

Leon
Aubrey
Owen
Haakon

Aubrey? Haakon?
Seriously, Haakon?
Sounds like someone I might be fighting in a Dawn of War game.
Pathfinder Haakon.

Tycho
Gabriel

Oh my God it is Dawn of War. Brother-Captain Erasmus Tycho of the Blood Angels III company and Captain Gabriel Angelos of the Blood Ravens III company.

Gareth

Isn't he from Mass Effect?
No wait that's Garrus, sorry.

Man, this was like THE week for wierd dreams.

Tuesday I ran into Cyndi Lauper on the street and started chatting with her.

Wierd. I guess I should cut her some slack because schools beat the whole "i before e except after c" into your head (the one grammar concept they still seem to give a fuck about) and it happens to be wrong on many common words. Bang-up job all around.

Thursday's dream was really unpleasant, especially at one point when the gang was trying to lure me out by threatening a little girl.

I had that dream once.
Then I realized I was a bear and mauled them to death.
Fuck yeah.

Now, FFVIII is my favorite video game barr none.

See? Only annoying cunts even like Final Fantasy VIII.

It is difficult to explain just how important it is to me, and how much impact it had on me when I was growing up. It is to me what FFVII is to everyone else.

No fuck that noise: Final Fantasy Tactics is clearly the greatest Final Fantasy ever made and if you disagree you are provably wrong.
Shame about all that other shit it spawned.
I kid, XII was pretty good. Of course it didn't have a quarter of the plot Tactics had.
Oh and the characters weren't nearly as deep or compelling.
Oh and the music kind of sucked.
Oh and it played like a watered down version of XI-- wait, why do I play these games? I should just replay Tactics.

And for quite awhile now I have secretly known I want to dance to "Waltz for the Moon" at my wedding, should I ever have one. Well, as I watched everyone dancing, to that song, in that setting, I was so moved I had to blink away tears.

Hurrrrrrrr
Stand back, pussies, and get ready for some real music.
You could sit back and sip brandy or some classy shit while this is playing.

Last night I decided on my New Year's Resolutions.
1. Live posatively.

1a. Learn to spell "positively" (brotip: there's no 'a' in it)

7. Improve my looks. (Lose weight. Get contacts. Decide on hair style.)

8. Get a good, regular job.

9. Start lolita video blog.

>Lolita video blog
Pretty sure that's illegal.
Well anyway I have shit to do (by which I mean play Pokemon. Fuck yes, Spring Break).