Fandom.

Being a fan of something is fun, isn't it? Like me personally, I fucking love Warhammer and Shin Megami Tensei. I, however, cannot stand other fans of these things. This is where "fandom" comes in-- basically peoples' excuses to be fucking idiots about something.
Here's someone who likes the fandom behind shit. That's basically guaranteed good reading, in my mind.
What does a fandom produce? Noise. Lots and lots of noise. Specifically in the "fanfic" department.
Ever read a fanfic? No? Well allow me to enlighten you. Imagine you have a wrench. Wrap that wrench around the thick part of your middle finger. Now turn your middle finger towards yourself so that you are flipping yourself the bird. Now squeeze that wrench as hard as possible.
That's fanfic.
Contrary to what many fanfic readers and writers will insist, there has never been a good fanfic. Not one.
In fact I have trouble imagining a bizarre, parallel Earth where there is a good fanfic.

So, just a few days ago I was lamenting how there's little good fic out there for Twilight fandom?

Twilight is shit tier fiction. Before, had you asked me as an avowed litfag what the shit tier fiction was I probably would have responded "Harry Potter... Or The Wheel of Time, I guess." Now if you asked me I'd say without a doubt "Twilight." Twilight is to writing what taking a dump is to living.

NaNo is around the corner and I, once again, am biting at the bit. I want to write. I'm dying to write, but ... I want to write some of everything instead of everything of one thing.

NaNo is the national write a book month or some shit like that. Basically it encourages people to write.
Fanastic in theory. But since you have to write an entire novel (100,000+ words) in a month it doesn't encourage quality. At all. It encourages Stephen King-speed writing, which is not conductive to quality. How long did Paradise Lost take to write? A decade or something?

I still plan on doing the same plot as I'd had before, but it's become a longer fic than had originally been intended. I'm on Chapter 5 and no confessions of love as of yet, and I'm already at 14k+ words.

That's 14,000 words. That's about ten pages. I cannot imagine subjecting myself to that torture.

Last.fm is teh bomb. Seriously. I love it. Found about 4 songs I want to own for my iPod. It's not as great as Pandora was for matching songs to interest, but it's not horrible either.

Last.fm was a fad with my friends for about 10 seconds. Everyone I know got into it, then we promptly realized what mutants we were when it came to music. No one mentions it anymore.

So, I've signed up for a few Twilight communities, checked out some websites, mostly Twilighted, and notied more often than not, that the fics are coming up short for me.

Clicking on this.
Wow this is terrible. The number one most reviewed piece on this website is "Bella and Edward's Sex Anthology" so I think that should tell everyone who had a doubt about this what people are looking for in fanfiction.

where they ignore basic facts of canon that don't conform to how they want their story written ... like the fact that Twilight vampires don't sleep, or are ice cold to the touch, or hard as granite.

I just read a drabble where the vampire is warm and sleeping. No warning for AU or that the author had decided to ignore canon in that respect, just bam! - a total misrepresentation of the vampires you claim to love.

At this point I'd say "make up your own story instead of leeching off someone else" but that would imply a creativity fanfiction authors don't have, so fuck it.
In my hierarchy of authorship fanfiction authors rank beneath Stephen King, and that's saying something.

What type of Angel(us) centric fic would you like to see written?

I have to assume this is that TV show and not angels as in... Angels. If it is the latter then write about Satan. He was the best angel. The most human angel. If he doesn't count because whatever, then Metatron.

Oh, and don't hate me for this,

I wouldn't say I hate you. That's too strong of an emotion to feel for a trifle like you. Loathe might be a suitable word.

Now I have to find a beta for it because I know my grammar is totally fubar'd in it. It's weird sort of second person present tense I think ... not sure if that's even correct.

Second person present tense? That means "you are". This has to be the shittiest thing ever written. I must find it.

So, I just danced like crazy with my puppy to Paralizer by Finger Eleven.

You're a bint.

But, speaking of writing ... can someone jump start my muse? I've been writing no more than a sentence or two a day on Vacation and I refuse to just let it be and go on to something else because then it'll never get finished.

Again with this shit. How many times to I have to explain to you morons? It's not your muse. What, everyone has to get their own muse, now?
If I had to guess which one you'd invoke (or whatever it is you think you'd have to do) I'd say try and get the attention of Melpomene, the muse of tragedy, since anything you write would undoubtedly be tragically awful.

So, it turns out my muse isn't horribly mad at me. I've been working (albeit slowly due to work constraints) on Vacation. I am just starting on chapter 3 of the re-write.

They should be fucking furious. Thankfully (for you) they only exist idealistically and not actually in reality.

Eventually I'll see about getting a beta, but not yet. I want to get a bit more written.

I think most --real-- writers would call this a rough draft and not a beta, because indeed a beta usually refers to a video game or computer program, but fine whatever I'll roll with it.

So, yesterday I was all geared up to go over my fics today at work. I opened Vacation, thinking, "oh this'll be fairly quick, it's nearly done

Maybe you should, I don't know, work?

There are things that cannot ever be taken back, words spoken in anger or fear, things thrown and broken that cannot be repleaced, and innocence gone forever like the last light of a dying star.

When a star dies it explodes and fuses all elements after iron. Did you know that? By that fact alone this planet cannot be the child of a first generation star because of all the other elements.

... just less. I abhor that I was neive.

Neive. That's in Italy, I think. Nice resort town.

I hate that I was more a prisoner of my own making than a hostage of someone else's.

Not even sure what that means.

Which leaves me stuck in this vicious cycle of irritatedness that keeps me from getting a good nights sleep, keeps me from being fun anywhere I go, and generally keeps me from being a NORMAL, well adjusted human being.

Checking my dictionary. Nope. "Irritatedness" isn't a word.

Then, he gets arrested for domestic violence, get's bonded WITHOUT any jail time, just a little probation and some counceling. WTF is that shit????

Get's. Get's. Get's. Also I don't know stop asking me questions.

So ... how's things? Gabrielle? Em? Femail? Andy? Shannon? Beth? Angelskuupio? The entire world of people who care about me more than I deserve?

Well this obviously wasn't directed at me because, when it comes to you, I don't give three fucks about four fucks. But if I had to answer, I'd say that was pretty fucking terrible. I give that no stars, in fact. See me after class.
This mighty yawn-fest of cliches evoked 53 responses. That's more than all of my entries put together, which goes to show how much noise these people make.
If I had to define this blog in a single term I'd say "unwarranted self importance". Everything about this has "look at this gr8 fanfic I wrote!" all up inside it, but all of it is shit. Based on her "heart felt" entries she has trouble expressing even the most rudimentary human emotions without resorting to cliches, her grasp of grammar is tenuous at best and she shows little hope for improvement because anything less than ego stroking sycophancy isn't tolerated (like all fanfic writers).
So in conclusion I'd rather be reading Stephen King than reading this.