Oh no

The first entry I clicked on today was entitled "Another Short Entry" because that was promising. It quickly proved to be longer than one of my average posts, so I don't know if she was being sarcastic or if her other posts are reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally long but I won't be finding out.
But I got this next one. The next blog is composed entirely as a poem.
Every single entry is broken into lines and stanzas.
Do they rhyme or even make a coherent thought most of the time? Of course not.
Furthering my theory that all poetry is nothing but sentences with random line breaks.

i like piles of words.
handfulls of things that sound nicely balanced
and have senses attached to them.
i also like the release of thinking
out loud on here.

So she likes exactly that which her blog is not. I see. Well as we learned in the fable "The Fox and the Grapes" it is easy to hate that which you have not, so I guess she's being a the bigger person in that case. Also "handfuls" only has one l. Just putting it out there.

i think by now you know how much i
owe you as far as events in this life
of mine go,
but that's for some other time.

All right to save myself from some (much) tedium I'll just skip about five stanzas. That seems fair.

and just like that.
everything was over.
all the look-forward-to's finished themselves off.
just like God promised AND warned me of.

Good Christ I can never get away from that guy, can I? Finding a post is about God is kind of like finding a prize in a box of cereal.
Only instead of a prize it's a razor blade.
And instead of cereal it's shit.

smoke and vapor.
breath and chaff.
i still cringe when i think about it.

Maybe had I read those five stanzas I skipped this would make more sense than it does but somehow I doubt it.

now. i sit.
senior ditch day.
full of cookie dough and other
only-for-the-taste pleasant things.
on the rag.
looking like i don't care.
but definitely alive and well.

I really need to make an official check list for these fucking things. So that's officially:

• God
• Mention of periods

yesterday i talked to a bunch of kids about God.
i wonder...and fear that they laughed more than
really got something.

Smart kids. I'd laugh at the vapid cunt babbling incoherently about miracles and an imaginary being too. Look, no one asked you to convert them, so could you keep your cheap stories of salvation to yourself, please?

my thoughts are these precious christmas beads.
i'm so glad that i feel God's taking me somewhere.
but my soul can't seem to verbalize it to anything.
not even itself. or God. or my brain.
how much of this burden am i suppose to carry anyway?
i asked God this today.
i'm sure that when Jesus was done preaching, he wondered too,
if they REALLY got it.
and i'm sure he cared so much it pained him.
yesterday i talked to them and wasn't sure if i was getting anywhere.
and i wonder if i want to get somewhere with them just so i can
feel good about it.

So... Wait, what?

so...i need to know how to do this whole thing.
speaking truth without walking away kicking myself,
without impure motives. with the right outlook.

I'm starting to notice a recurring theme with these God posts. They always ask a question to God, they don't get a response, then wonder and wonder why there is no response. Then somewhere down the road something happens that they construe as being a sign from God.
I'm not saying that's stupid, but that's pants on head retarded.
That's seriously the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
I bet if I checked up a week from now she saw a mourning dove on a stop sign and interpreted that as a response from God or something.
Whatever burden you think you're carrying is yours to carry and yours alone. Shut up no mystical being will relieve you of it.
Also, assuming there is a burden you have to carry (which seems to revolve around converting the heathen or something) what makes you so deserving of being relieved of it?

why do i feel the need to make God appealing?
if i recall correctly, He did that perfectly on His own
for me.
one word and i melted. no one made it happen.
i just had an open heart, to be sure.
God's appealing enough when He shows up.
and he promises to ALWAYS show up when
we wait and watch earnestly.

Smart marketing? You don't see candy companies talking about how their products are like sucking on a dog turd, do you? Also the reason it was easy for you is because you are, after all, an idiot. I bet you'd hop into the sack with a guy on the promise that he'll "really, really love you after this" then proceed to treat you like shit.

it seems that as a christian who's never
really rejected the teaching but built and built
on a solid foundation, the real raw questions come out later.

Ha, ha, ha yeah I guess they do. Blindly accepting a bronze age dogma then wondering later why it makes no sense must be tough. Most people would just find something that makes more sense, but I guess pursuing it regardless of the sense it makes is a noble goal, in a stupid way.

and there's nothing this hurting world loves more
than REAL. something relatable. something understandable.
a language of their own.
didn't Jesus speak ours?
hmm...the answer's a comin.

No, Jesus didn't speak our language. Literally. He spoke Aramaic or something.

the best part about all these scary questions is
that God knows exactly what's going on in this head
and heart of mine.

That's why I make sure to think "fuck anyone listening to my thoughts right now" every three seconds. Just to be safe.

it's amazing how satan can take something
totally annointed and meant for
the Glory of God,
and turn it into a deceitful trap
or a vainly uplifted endeavor.

It's funny how preoccupied Christians are with Satan. For a character, he's a minor character at best. He's mentioned something like thirteen times in the entire book, and most of the time he's in some other form like a serpent.
Ehh, and really, he's more relatable than that God character. Satan at least makes mistakes and seems somewhat human. In many ways he's a tragic hero, in fact. How many of your Bible stories are about the small man overcoming adversity in the face of a greater foe? David beating Goliath, Samson... Well getting his shit ruined but whatever, Job... Getting his shit mangled by God, and on and on.

anyhow. seth's in my room right now.
he keeps saying "bubby-dude".
he's in his tiny little boxers.
i'm almost smitten.
but he keeps touching everything!
so i should stop typing now.

You have company and you're typing all this shit? You're the worst host ever. This is bad and you should feel bad.
Now it's doing this thing where the font shifts back and forth and it's all over the place. Feels like I'm reading that book House of Leaves again, and that's something I don't even want to be reminded of.
House of Leaves. Holy shit. READ THIS IT'S SCARY AS FUCK DO IT. So I do it, and what I expected was PRIMAL TERROR but what I got was one of those deep lung yawns that doesn't want to come out but you force it out then you kind of have a headache for a few seconds afterwards.
I guess the idea is scary enough. The scariest parts of scary movies are usually the tension right before whatever happens happens, so stretching that part out indefinitely is pretty smart, but the problem is it's so wracked with poor writing choices that by the end I couldn't give three fucks about four fucks.

You're the Answer.

I still have to play that. Thanks for reminding me. Gotta do this before Persona 4 comes out.

Sadness is beautiful to too many people too often.
and disappointment can easily be made into the most listened to song

or most read poem.

I bet you're going to turn this into a long winded post about how that's bad and we should turn our attentions to Jesus, but I'd just like to mention that disappointment and sadness are part of the human condition. Everyone relates to sadness so IT FUCKING SELLS. I bet you really think those song writers feel all that shit. While they certainly may, most of them said "hey this sounds good and it'll sell" then someone sings it. End of story.

gross.
tomorrow holds SO much.
God holds SO much for tomorrow.

I didn't even read ahead. I fucking called it.

Why do you spend you money for that which is not bread,
and your earnings for what does not satisfy?

I bought a Techmarine with a Thunderfire Cannon, so I'm mighty satisfied. I'm thinking of adding some Sternguard veterans because they look cool and they have multiple ammo types, so they'd be a good trouble shooting squad. I was also thinking of adding some scouts on bikes because they have mines.

First, these flesh covered ears must be trained
to even here Him call.
Let alone answering wherever and whenever.

Here him call. Here him call. Here him call. Here him call.
Also I refuse to uppercase "him" because it isn't a proper noun.

it makes your spirit scream inside of you.

That happened to me that time I ate at Bojangle's. Never again.

and because your stomach's full,
the physical translates my spiritual rainfall into vomit.

Again I'm reminded of Bojangle's.
That's it. I wasn't planning on this happening, but here we are anyway.