Let's-- excuse me?

So I finally got around to getting and playing that Dawn of War II expansion, Chaos Rising. I'm really confused at some of the moral choices I have to make. At one point in the third mission you can bust down a gate or jump over it and lower it. The logic being CHAOS SCUM would destroy the gate while a good loyalist would jump the gate and bring it down safely so it can provide security for THE SERVANTS OF THE EMPEROR in the future.
Well I don't have any jump troops so I had to bust it down and the game calls me corrupt for doing so.
WELL EXCUUUUUUSE ME FOR NOT LETTING THE IMPERIAL GUARD GET HAPLESSLY SLAUGHTERED WHILE I STAND THERE LIKE A LUMMOX. Then I got an additional point of corruption for picking up a meltagun that apparently is corrupting somehow. I guess the logic is anything Chaos uses would be corrupt but the heavy bolter I recovered from a Havoc has purity points so-- God, no, no, let's not get into this.
Anyway here's some blog I have no clue what's going on.

I am St. Gabriel Gaḇrîʼēl the Archangel, Strength of God, Divine Messenger, One of the Seven who Stand before the Lord, Chief of the Angelic Guards of Paradise, Bringer of the Word of Truth, Angel of the Power of God, Angel of Birth and Mercy, Angel of Death over Kings, Prince of Ice and Thunder, and Maker of Changes.

>Maker of Changes
CHAOS.
Also: I'm about to view content not appropriate for minors.

OOC: Some RL things have become a little complicated. I'm working on it, but I'm not in the best of states and may not be able to reply to threads at my usual pace. I will definitely try my best, though. I'm sorry. <3

OOC for those of you blessedly ignorant of all things douchey on the internet stands for "out of character".
(+1 corruption point for you now. Even knowledge of Chaos corrupts.)
Ready for some Christian fanfiction?
I never thought I'd say those two words together but here we are.

The end happens in winter. It is strangely fitting, after all; winter is death, but this time there are no hidden seeds of new life that will bloom in time.

DEEEEEEEEEEEEP.

Gabriel had once complained about Christmas; it was supposed to be a holy day, a celebration of the birth of the Saviour, and now it was a celebration of mass consumerism and greed and gluttony and it wasn’t even the right day.

Wasn't Gabriel the affable angel, according to Milton?
I'm pretty sure he's the one that tells Adam that there's a bad man amidst the Garden of Eden so BE ON ALERT and Adam like any good child promptly forgets and does the exact opposite of what he's told. I somehow doubt he'd be standing here all emo and shit.

He had been wrong; humans weren’t entirely stupid. They’d recognised the signs and the catastrophes, the mass miracles and massacres. They’d recognised that they were caught in the middle of a war. Churches had never been fuller, and on Christmas Eve, Gabriel stood unseen in a church for a while and watched as everyone prayed for mercy, for forgiveness, for salvation.

I'm praying for it to never stop snowing. From now until April I want the Northern Hemisphere to be blanketed with ice and snow.
For one thousand and one years we will be bathed in the storms of the Warp.

He had always assumed that Heaven would win. He holds on to that belief now, as casualties mount on both sides. Faith was hard to come by these days, after all; you treasured what little you had.

SEMICOLONS. SEMICOLONS AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN PERCEIVE.
This is literally the most cliched thing I've read in about 20 days.

With the freak snowstorms and floods and hurricanes battering most of the globe, and with the fallout from all the skirmishes, the human population has dramatically lessened.

Goddamn you even make the acid trip that is the Book of Revelation boring. Isn't this about the point where 1/3rd of the waters are turning to blood and there are poxes and rashes and shit?

[00:52] SavioBriion: :O
[00:52] SavioBriion: :O :O :O :O :O
[00:52] Bird: <3
[00:52] SavioBriion: it is an accurate depiction of my face right now
[00:52] Bird: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
[00:52] SavioBriion: *GLOMP*

Oh God no.

... I can deal with the portrayal of myself as blonde and carrying what appears to be a duckling. I can even overlook the star tiara. However, there is a common misconception about me that I would like to clear up.

I am not "the only female archangel". There are quite a few angels who have chosen to assume female form, and I am not one of them. I'm genderless, and usually appear to be male; while I have the ability to assume a female form, I have done so about twice or thrice, for very brief occasions, during my millennia on Earth. However, for all intents and purposes, I am currently male.

I've seen some shit in my time but this is definitely up there. I seem to recall a second blog many, many years ago I reviewed where someone was writing fanfiction about archangels and I called her a cunt and we had a bit of a laugh and all that. This entry, however, is just about one thing: PAIN.

Your LiveJournal account for user "cattygabriel" has been credited with the
following add-on:

- Extra Userpics (1 package) - 2 months

...

Userpics: You've uploaded 32 of 102 total

So let me see if I understand this correctly: you have to pay Livejournal to upload avatars?
And people take advantage of this service?

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

... EEEEEEEEE...

*FLYINGTACKLEGLOMP*

Oh God.
... Literally, "oh God."

Uri-mun, you are wonderful and I'm sorry I took a while to post this, but this is just a reminder that you have my undying gratitude and I am your willing slave. >:3

Well this took a turn for the kinky.
CORRUPTION.
CORRUPTION ABOUND.

What is your fondest childhood memory of your father or grandfather?

Please be a normal answer.

When I was first brought into being, before Time was a concept, even before the Silver City existed, I could feel my Father. I could sense His Presence as a flame within me, and the sensation of being safe, warm and loved.

Welp.

This is Gabriel as a female. Warning: one of the pictures shows her in... lingerie. Hence the cut.

I'd be embarrassed to come up with 1. a fanfiction based on Christian mythology and 2. put gender-bending archangels in it.

Gabriel had neglected his duties for far too long. His assistants took care of his paperwork when he was away, of course, but he often felt guilty about it on his return.

Paperwork--
This is a severely fucked up cosmology.

Today:
[12:30] SavioBriion: YUBI SHINES
[12:30] Star Spiritgate: Yeeees?
[12:30] SavioBriion: WHY THE ANONYMITY?
[12:30] SavioBriion: *FLYINGTACKLEGLOMP* *LICKLICKLICK*
[12:30] SavioBriion: <3 <3 <3
[12:31] SavioBriion: THANK YOU SO MUCH!
[12:31] Star Spiritgate: XD;;;;; You're welcome
[12:31] SavioBriion: *glompsnuggle* Anything you want? Fic? "Art"?
[12:32] SavioBriion: Favours that shall not be spoken of in public? >:3

Holy shit.
Hold on I think the greatest douche shiver of all might turn into a full-on seizure.
This is so bad I'm having a douche seizure.

Has someone you loved and respected ever done something you consider despicable? If so, how did you deal with it? Did you try to forgive them? Did it permanently change your feelings for them?

I don't even remember these writer's blocks.

I loved Lucifer very much, once; he was my closest friend, and I also respected him as His Second and the leader of the Host. He was the bright Morningstar; his name, Lucifer, meant Light-Bringer, and he was truly the highest, most glorious angel in Heaven.

And then he defied our Father,

Nowhere in the Bible does it say Lucifer is Satan. That is a much later invention.

and Fell, and took a third of the Host with him.

The "one third of the Angelic Host" thing was an invention of Milton too, incidentally.

Speaking of Gifts, THANK YOU so much for the Lemur! He will keep Fella very good company <3>
People actually buy that clipart for other people?
Man, fuck.
All these businesses that work so hard on advertising and marketing and shit don't need to be working that hard.

It is warm and humid, and the heat is not helped by the huge bonfire burning in the middle of the town. A scrap of mulberry-bark paper escapes the fires, flying up towards the pale young man in priest’s robes standing nearby. The Archangel Gabriel catches it and stares at the half-hieroglyph still visible and wonders: how much knowledge, how much Mayan culture has already been burnt?

Not that I'm making excuses for the Conquistadors but they did preserve a lot of the Mayan culture in their own writings because Mayan writing may not have been a full writing system.
Wow what ensues is the biggest strawman argument ever.
This is terrible, goddamn. You'd think after this long at writing you'd at least improve a little bit.

Disclaimer: Gabriel and Lucifer are characters from the Bible I like to write about.

Oh is that right?

Warning: Hints of homosexuality, though technically angels are sexless.

I should link this to a conservative Christfag website, sit back and watch the flames.

Contrary to popular belief, the desert was not always a land of blistering heat and scorching sands. In fact, it was rather cool during the dawn and dusk, and at night.

>rather cool
>subzero
Yeah I guess.

It was not dusk yet, however, and Gabriel squinted against the sun, more for the benefit of the girl at his side than because it hurt his eyes.

“This is reckless and dangerous, Sultana,” he murmured.

As opposed to reckless and perfectly safe, or dangerous but careful.

“You help me escape my other minders, and then warn me? You are a conflicted man, Jibril.” Sultana’s tone was light, teasing, as she brushed off some sand clinging to the silver embroidery on Gabriel’s blue robes. Then she reached up to her veil. Gabriel caught her hand.

Gabriel, playa. Getting the DBGs.

“Not only are you alone with a man, you are removing your veil? Do you want to be stoned?”

Yes because all Muslims historically stoned women.
Christ all mighty.

Sultana pulled away, tugging off the veil and headscarf, tossing her long thick hair defiantly, and her dark eyes flashed. “Being stoned would be worth this one moment of freedom.

Very American view on life.
And what follows is WORDS WORDS WORDS.
Well I think that's it because I'm not seriously reading fanfiction and that's all that follows.
Also: PRAISE BE TO THE EMPEROR, SNOW IS UPON US.

Very nearly very nice

I had another entry almost completely done but I keep losing interest in it and it has been like this off and on for about seven hours. If I were an average idiot blogger I'd post it, but I think my inability to finish it is my brain telling me something about it, so I'll just keep it to myself.
SEE, IS THAT SO FUCKING HARD, OTHER PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET?
Speaking of people with no content filter: "yr nasty"
It's basically what you'd expect.

I wish the thought of having sex with someone didn't make me want to puke.

Which is oddly appropriate because I'm fairly certain no one can think of having sex with you without wanting to puke, so the feeling is mutual.

I also wish I didn't want to kiss this boy so much. Don't you just ever want to kiss someone with every fiber of your being.

No I can't say that I do.

Kiss someone for so long it seems like days, till both of our lips are chapped. With someone who doesn't try to stick his hands in my pants.

Oh well now I definitely know the answer to that question is no.

Do straight up make out sessions even happen anymore? Or am I the only one who longs for kissing the way most people want sex? Sex is dumb and uncomfortable and I'm pretty sure I wont change my mind until it's with the perfect guy.

I've taken up sketching while I do these updates. I figure it's more constructive than playing Pokemon or FFXI, because for some reason "Edie Finds a Corpse" time tends to turn into "FFXI time".
I guess I could just power through it but quite frankly even my superhuman metabolism couldn't handle that much raw bullshit.

I'm really not a fan of casual dating. I don't think it's meant for the socially akward. Any time I've ever been on a date I end up talking about how awesome my grandmother is or how much time I spend with my dogs and the funny names I give them. I never seem to be able to make it to the second date.

So winning personality so far, I wonder why she can't get a date?

On a different note, I'm doing a detox. I've always been overweight but I'm getting rediculously fat.

Oh, what's up, complete package?

god damnit i am so stupid.
i am not in love with every boy i see why is my brain telling me that.

I HAVE A GAT DAMN CRUSH ON EVERYONE WHO TALKS TO ME.

Must be tough having such-- I'm pretty good at this sketching thing, actually.
I don't know what your problem is, Deviantardlets.

FIRST THINGS FIRST
I'm dressing as beyonce for holloween.

That's appropriate because Beyonce does have a fat ass.
Although I suspect you're just fat.
Also Beyonce is a model. I'm sure you're nowhere close to model material.
So...
Not really sure what my point was, come to think of it.

onto more sexy things.

sexier things than a fat girl in skimpy clothing?

two boys with the same name want to date me.
BUT, I have a crush on a blonde boy. Which is wierd because I normally am not attracted to blondes.

Sounds like a zany sitcom if I've ever heard one!

I really am acting like such a fucking chick lately. It's lame but it's also kind of fun.
boysboysboysboysboysboysboysboysboys
BOYS.
I want to go dress shopping, I need more dresses.
Something to accentuate my flawless rack.

Oh that's not the picture I wanted. Actually it can stay because it's the most awesome thing to come from this entry today, I suspect.

I miss having a libido.....

Miss having libido? By my advanced statistical analysis, five out of six (or 83.333333333333333333333333333333333repeating percent) of your posts are directly related to sexual activities.

sometimes i just really wanna kiss boys.

This summer has been life changing, just not in the way I wanted it to be.
I feel like I've gone against everything I believe in like I'm somehow less of a person.
I recently (actually a month ago to this day) had sex for the first time.

sugoi monogatari, aneki.
(translator's note: "sugoi monogatari, aneki" means "cool story, sis" in Japanese)
Christ it's 20 entries later and this bitch still isn't done eating cock (and Twinkies)

i read all your discustingly disgustingly bittersweet romantic blogs and i I pretend that i'm I'm the girl your you're writing about.

....
lol

Glad to be of service.

when i get to england im going to be a kareoke bar godess.

I was going to correct you on "karaoke" but you're barely literate in English, so forget it.

tonight im going to drink coolers and be girly as fuck.
i found a boy who will listen to bad 90's music with me.
we're going to get married.

Hey listening to bad music is one of my major hobbies.
No way I'd do it with you, though. I only listen to bad music with people who have character.
Sorry~
And there's a picture of you.
Good grief are you obese. I'm going to be especially generous and even pretend the camera adds 20 pounds.
You weren't kidding earlier. There's no way you can brush this off as "I gained a little weight I need to lose it~ <3". You didn't just gain that weight. It has been a project between you and Chester Cheetah for a while.
Ugh that's it. I'm so bored with her nonsense now my eyes are getting all blurry from the yawning.

BY THE EMPEROR!

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH

Well... balls.

Step one of that grand plan didn't quite go according to plan - namely in that I didn't get the job >_>

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH.

So~ am trying other places now, as before. Am tempted to just say 'sod it' and go to YCon funded on my uni grants, but that assumes I'm going to uni...

Wasting tax payer dollars to go to a yaoi convention.
Also "sod it" but whatever, Ork.

Flist!

Got a wig; it needs styling. First, though, I need to get the hairspray etc that's already in it out of it. So what's the best way to clean wigs - just cold water, just warm water, either with a cleaning agent of some sort...?

Oh hey I hear there's this website where you can search for things. I think it's called "goggle" or something.
Also I hate the term "flist" it sounds like one of those fake curse words I might hear in an Elder Scrolls game or something. S'WAH!

On an unrelated note, I fsking hate grass clippings >.< *scratches like crazy at itchy arms*

fsking, sod off, flist? I think I might actually be dealing with an Ork. Only one way to deal with them, don't you know: fire.

With bursary and government grant payments (grants, not loans - no paying those back!), I'll be getting £4k a year (ish) just for attending uni.

Which you later contemplate spending on an anime convention. I hope someone finds out and you go to jail for fraud or some shit.

I'm actually kind of amazed, though not entirely surprised. Even by carrot standards, it came out incredibly phallic...

Shota-cawk? :3

:|

(Herf derf :B)

You fucking-- wait what the shit is that on the side of the screen? Some sort of animu boy in his boxer briefs with a bulge-- whatever. Back on point.
Now here's a lot of pictures I'm definitely not clicking on.

Best way I can describe myself right now? Not got a headache, don't feel up-chucky or anything, and my brain and body are totally alert. It just feels like my brain is currently sitting 4ft away from me. This must be how it feels to star in a Shintaro Kago manga...

A what?

[/pointless entry is pointless?]

:|
Now here's some form she filled out like I give a shit. I have to fill out enough of my own forms, lady, I don't need to look over yours.
Wow you have awful handwriting.

Those jobs I applied for yesterday?

Phone call just now.

Interview in two hours.

HGUHRGMREHGMCKTJRHGVMRTSDNGSRL!!!

:|

No, no details. Because cryptic emo-wank posts are what LJ's really about, right?

:|
Actually "cryptic emo wank" pretty much describes Livejournal, thanks.

...that said, Australia are looking like they're in trouble in the Ashes match...

Words. Also "Australia is" because it's one thing but whatever.

1) edsfgsraedqdsa GUH! *headdesk*

Old-school flisties, I need your help! ;_;

>flisties
I wish I had saved my reaction face for this. Oh, well he is looking down so I guess it's still appropriate.

Today, my free upgrade came through. I now have a 10mb connection, running 9.91mb in real-time. And did I mention it was a Free Upgrade?

What. Free upgrade, it actually runs close to the speed advertised? Sure you're not doing something wrong or is England a magic land where the internet isn't absolute fucking horseshit?
Given that England is still a place run by a government made of people and has companies that sell services (also run by people) I'm guessing it's far more likely you're just wrong (and also stupid) than this being true.

Alright, mon mews - it is time for the neko to jet off!

:|
This fucking shit. I have to go do something else before I strain a facial muscle with all this :| I'm doing.

I do love bad poetry

I like it even more when the font is size .5 and italicized. Class act, you.
Today we open with a poem, and it's my favorite kind: it's sort of a riddle.
Let's try and solve this riddle.

The clever people they all cry
You cannot patrol the skies
Men were born without their wings
So stop thinking of such things

I'm going to guess the Wright Brothers.

Your mind it runs wild with you
And they say it will not do
Look at what's before your eyes
Don't waste time by wasting time

Don't waste time by wasting time. That's profound. I don't know who this is, now.

And though you know that shadows lurk
When you tell them it does not work
You cry yourself to sleep at night
You should not, since it's you who's right

Going with Perseus, who killed Medusa.

And I don't know if you've heard
Impossible is just a word
They are all just simply fools
Living life by their concrete rules

Yeah, Perseus.

I tell you that it won't be long
They'll realise that they were wrong
You have what they have lacked
Impossible is not a fact

Or maybe it is the Wright Brothers.

It's weird how when you get older you get interested in new things, or should that be natural? Haha, I think so.

No that's very unnatural. You're supposed to always be interested in the same things until the day you die.

Every night my estranged brother and mother watch The Drs. and if they talk to me, they'll ocassionally tell me that they offer great advice concerning your health, what I don't understand is that every time I go and try to watch it they talk about sex.

>estranged
>talking to them occasionally
hrm. I guess "estranged" does literally mean "to make strange" or to alienate, so estranging a relative wouldn't necessarily imply not speaking to them, but that is common knowledge of how the word works, I think.

Set your calender for June the 6th.

Done. Why am I doing this?

It's drawing day. Two days to go AND I DONT HAVE MY SKETCHBOOK WITH ME!

Oh you draw then. Wow, you really think that warrants me marking my calendar? You are full of yourself.
HEY, SET YOUR CLOCK FOR 9 PM, PEOPLE!
Why would I do that?
I'M GOING TO PLAY FINAL FANTASY THEN!

There are many sites promoting this day and to get things heated up some even prepared contests and the grand prize is Wacom Bamboo Grahics Tablet!

I see, so it's a sort of internet holiday.

I read some in spite of the fact I'm too proud of my individuality and would rather rot than to get near a tutorial.

Oh wow you must suck at drawing. I REFUSE TO LEARN FROM ANYONE BECAUSE LEARNING FROM THE MASTERS WOULD BE COPYING THEM! Don't flatter yourself, I seriously, seriously doubt you are even 1% of the talent Da Vinci was.
Since I'm sure you draw animu, I doubt you could even approach some of the better artists in that style.

Just imagine following a work on someone's Guide To Drawing book, spending countless minutes, many hours and several days trying to make that character perfect to your own standard.
I personally don't think this will help give diversity to a person's imagination, instead limit it.

Or you could, you know, copy them until you get the fundamentals down and then figure out your own style?

He actually drew a woman's womb raw, what I mean is he actually looked at it in some hospital and started sketching it.If you read more about him, don't forget to see his other sketches, you could see that they're very accurate to the human anatomy and that's what I meanby going natural.

No they fucking were not. Look at that picture and then a real womb and tell me it's perfectly round like that. Da Vinci came from the early Renaissance when artists were still clearly influenced by geometric shapes. They were fairly anatomical but to say they are VERY ACCURATE is a fucking exaggeration and you know it.

If you're still perplexed by my thoughts, then just go outside your house or your university and try drawing that stray cat that's drinking water out of a alluminum cup.

Yeah I'm still perplexed by them because you're too much of a genius for my plebeian mind to comprehend, what with such brilliant suggestions as "draw from real life!" and "study models!" God you're a cunt.
Also it's spelled "aluminum" you idiot.

Instead, I'll live you wondering what you'll draw next, what image would you like to capture on paper using your pencil, color, fire and what-else-is-there.
Just keep wondering and imagining.

I'm going to leave you with the word "hubris". I suggest looking it up.

Anyways, I am looking forward for their latest "明日の記憶" which will be released next week.

"ashita no kioku" or "tomorrow's memories". See, I can read Japanese too. It's not difficult.

Last Wednesday I lost my sketchbook, and on Monday, my Dochan found it while we were leaving the bus!
May God Bless you always with goodness! Thank you really!

I hope Nemesis damns you for your pride.

Maybe, I should have explained to them that Christianity is as Islam in this aspect. Good Christians do not have pre-marital sex.
Such an act is again the ten commandments and in fact, dying a virgin is considered a holy act.

Like so many things Christianity, I see they thought this one through.
Everyone dies a virgin. We have a problem.

Personally, I don't consider myself a good christian in terms of visiting mass, praying everyday or fasting during Good Friday (though I am slowly doing my best to strength my ties with God and my soul) But this shouldn't illustrate that I disobey God's words!

Yes, because it's you perhaps your god will overlook your transgressions.
And that's it. The rest of what's left is just her dumb drawings which are kind of okay, I suppose.

Oh God what do I do?

Today the god of Livejournal has deigned to give me TWO possible candidates instead of the typical "sit here for half an hour and maybe there will be one" bullshit. WHAT DO I DO!?
This blog has longer entries... Yeah I guess I'll go with this one. RussellB, you're lucky.
First thing: maybe it's my allergy addled eyes, but I can barely read this fucking font. Is black font on a white background (or white font on a black background) that much of a problem for you people?
I guess so.

I just had the most beautiful picture put into my head. i was in the amazing forest with green all around and waterfuls and flowers. it was breathtaking.

Waterfuls. That's not even a word. I think anyone reading this knows me well enough to know how this thought is going to end.
Will she move on to talk about:
A. fucking
B. writing fanfiction
C. furfaggotry
D. Jesus
E. All of the above
Well if you picked "E" you'd be dead fucking wrong. Never pick all of the above. It's almost guaranteed to be the wrong answer.
The right answer was D.

I was running and i just imagined myself jumping as high as i could and not knowing where i would land. then at just the last second i was caught by Jesus and held like a little child.

Wow Jesus is pretty fucking strong to heft that much weight around. (P.S. I'm implying you're fat) (P.P.S. I know by your picture that you aren't, I was just being mean :3)

i will fall time and time again but it seems i'll always be caught just before i hit the ground.

Oh that's a risk I like to take when I'm falling. "It seems like this parachute will deploy." I suppose she doesn't mean literally falling but a metaphorical fall symbolizing mankind's Fall.

life is beautiful and i'm in love living it for the one who made it so. forget fear. forget change. forget the past. forget worry. forget whatever people decide to do.

Forget change? What if it's good change? I'm also purposefully ignoring the incredibly poor grammar in the second part of the first sentence.

i know what i'm supposed to do and where i'm supposed to go and thats all that matters.

That reminds me of something on my campus: The Campus Crusade for Christ, which makes me a little nervous, personally. Maybe I'm the only one who actually knows what you Christfags did the last time you had a crusade, but suffice it to say, I'm watching you. Scum.

i avoid confrontation and seeing people in pain breaks my heart. i also hate losing people.

Is that right? Well, you're a Christfag, so you must be familiar with the Bible, yes? Then, I have a book in that Bible for ye: The Book of Job. The Book of Job is probably my all time favorite because it shows not only what an awesome troll Satan is, but also what a fucking psychopath God is.
Here's what your favorite mythological character thinks of you:

And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.

So there it is, he's going to do whatever the fuck he wants to anyway so why bother praying?
Oh boy it's my favorite time of the day: shitty poetry time.

I’ve always longed for a fairy tale
Maybe part of me never quite grew up
Perhaps I never really wanted to
It’s possible that reality and I will never coexist
I’ll stay here in my land of magic and wonder
Til’ the world fades away to eternity
Those of the world call me naïve
Others still a fool, but I tend to disagree
What’s foolish about believing in the impossible?
Why build a world on a notion of despair?
I’ve built my world on a foundation of rock
Fortified by faith, hope, and an amazing love
It’s something that won’t crumble with the unattainable
My world won’t shatter when I dare to dream
Perhaps it’s not a conventional tale to tell
Though perhaps that’s the best kind to express
For somewhere in this world that discourages all but reality
I’ve found a fairy tale complete with all I ever dreamed of

Further proving that poetry is regular sentences with random line breaks.
Oh another poem, but it's more of a riddle, so let's try to figure out who this person could possibly be.

They named him condemned

Despite the love in his eyes

They turned away

Despite the tears in his eyes

As they made their choice

So far I'm going to guess Gary Glitter.

So there he stood

Friend and brother

Ridiculed, betrayed

Leaving behind him

A trail of blood and tears

Leaving behind him a trail of blood and tears-- still going with Gary Glitter.

He named them forgiven

Despite the piercing nails

He never strayed

Despite the cross he was given

To save the undeserving

Oh, no, wait I know this one. Don't tell me-- is it Osiris?

There he stood

Friend and Savior

Risen, glorified

Shining with the light

Of his father in Heaven



They named him condemned

He named them forgiven

Yeah, definitely going with Osiris. I thought it might have been Gary Glitter at first, but I'm settling on Osiris now.
Okay there's another riddle afoot, and this time I don't think the answer is Gary Glitter OR Osiris.

"i love you for you
not for who you were
not who for will be
i love you for who are
in this very moment"

So whoever this person is doesn't love me for who I was or not who for will be (what) but for what I am THIS VERY MOMENT. Nope don't care this is stupid.

the only moment that is gaurenteed is the one i'm living in.

Guaranteed* and that's right: YOU COULD DIE AT ANY MINUTE!

well its a rainy day and i feel like i got a lot to say (and that totally rhymed booyah!)

when you compare my problems to those around me it's like i'm living the dream.

Well that's some dumb logic because compared to a billionaire your life is shit.

i have an unbelievable amount of hope. so therefore i believe in the unseen and hope for better days.

Yes, hope. Such a useful and worthwhile emotion. A lot of people are convinced you need hope to make life tolerable, but I completely disagree. Life is plenty interesting (and entertaining) when you trust that everything will go wrong. Just don't be down about it and it'll still be hilarious. Not "ha ha" hilarious, but kind like a black comedy. That's not to say you should be an emocunt about it and be completely hopeless, just don't fucking think about it. Although it is best to assume the worst is yet to come.

and sometimes it takes a lot of really bad shit (pardon my language) to make you realize that you just can't do it on your own.

PARDON HER LANGUAGE, GUYS. SHE'S JUST KEEPING IT REAL. I bet she paused for a moment after typing "shit" and wondered if she should edit that out. Well guess what: shit fuck cunt. No one cares on the internet.

i'm not ignoring my life. i'm living it for someone else.

Sounds healthy.

thats the beauty of faith, you always have something to hope for.

Even if you have to trick yourself into believing there's something to hope for. No, sounds great. Live a perpetual lie and ignore everything contrary to your favorite fairy tale.

i can do all things through Him who strengthens me :-).

i heard a story about a man who bought a car. When he brought the car home he discovered that it wasn't running right. He checked the owner's manual to see what could be the problem. The manual told him to check and make sure there was oil in the car. When he checked he discovered that there indeed was no oil in the car. The manual told him to put oil in the car if he wanted it to work. He scoffed at this "who are you to tell me what to do with MY car. i'll do what i want with it." so he decided to put honey in his car instead. When he tried to turn the car on it wouldn't work much to his amazement. the author of the owner's manual knew what was best for the car. he wrote it so the car would run right not so the man would have a set of rules that he had to live by.

God didn't give us rules to limit us. He gave us the bible to follow because He created us. He knows what causes us to run well and what causes us to break.

Except logically this man would have no reason to assume honey would make his car run. There's an objective truth to be had here. Honey does not make cars run. The Bible, however, is frequently (always) wrong on scientific (objective) issues (rabbits do not chew cud, bats are not birds, whales are not fish, the mustard seed is not the smallest seed in the world, the earth isn't flat, space isn't filled with water, etc) and as a moral (subjective) guide it's quite frequently, well, amoral. Like the part where it tells you to stone a disobedient child, or kill all witches (well that part I think we can all agree with).
That's not to say the Bible is completely faulty, though. There are some good lessons to be had, but those are so few and far between barbaric, bronze age reasoning that it's hardly worth reading. In fact, as a moral guide, things like the Iliad and the Odyssey are not only better written (truth) they're also of superior moral fiber because they don't condone beating children and stoning witches.

im trying to be patient but i'm not very good at it. i wonder if i hadn't prayed for patience if i wouldn't be given oppurtunities to be patient? who knows. point is i'm tired of waiting for whats gonna happen to happen.

Tired of waiting to become patient. Sounds like you have a patience problem.

i want to know what people really think. i'm tired of fluff and superficial conversations.

Ha, ha, no you don't. A lie is always preferrable to the truth. As H.P. Lovecraft said: "The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents."
Well that's it. I'm bored and you're a cunt, so~

Kill Yourself

It's Friday, that means an increased volume of posts on Livejournal.
Also it means increased levels of assholery and douchebaggery. So batten down the hatches and we'll weather this storm yet.

Is it weird that I'm writing a series of essays on my characters and their relationships in my original fiction? Maybe it is, but I'm finding sorting through their motivations and different actions and traits really enjoyable.

Whoa I think I just fell asleep with me eyes open.

But unfortunately I can't do any of that (with the exception of the essays) until the cold I have clears up, because I have this strange inability to write dialogue when I can't talk properly. Strange but true.

Wow that's really-- really-- Zzz.

What else...? Um, well, my mission to fully sort out my book collection is progressing nicely. I've decided that as I have so many books (about 800 actual books and a good few thousand on my computers) it'd be a good idea if I compiled a list of them so I didn't end up getting the same one twice or whatever.

Huh. You know reading that many books might be impressive, but they're probably all dreck like Twilight (my best seller) so who gives a shit? You might as well be watching TV.

It's going well, but considering I downloaded the entire Project Gutenburg collection which is over 13,000 free books it's taking a little while! Lol.

Ha, ha-- wait I don't get it.

I love Project Gutenberg :) It made me realise just how much of a nerd I am though when I noticed it had these books by this sixteenth century theologian/philosopher and I got all happy XD

lol XD die.

All I'm going to say is I love the fic I'm writing. LOVE IT.

And that's all I'm saying for now. Lolz.

OHHHHHHHH CAN'T WAIT FOR THAT BRILLIANT PIECE OF FANFIC. WHICH TWILIGHT CHARACTERS/HARRY POTTER CHARACTERS/FINAL FANTASY CHARACTERS ARE YOU HOOKING UP NOW? I HOPE IT'S SEPHIROTH AND CLOUD. ^-^

Anyway, I was really, really good and I only bought four books which are:

History of Britain Pocket Companion
The Interesting Bits - History You Might Have Missed
The Age of the Dictators
The Nature of Despotism

You went to the largest bookstore in Europe and that's what you came out with? Holy shit I could go to my local fucking Border's and get 1000 incarnations of those things.

I'm really interested in seeing what the last one is like.

The Nature of Despotism... I'm guessing it might have something to do with despots and their psychology, huh?

I'm around, sort of, but damn as near zombiefied for the moment due to work. Fics will be forthcoming (eventually) but not for a couple of weeks.

Jeez, leave me waiting, you cocktease.
Now there's a post and I don't understand half the words in it. I guess this has something to do with her writing, which was as I suspected (shit). Fortunately nothing escapes my eagle eyes, and I found a link to her shitty writing. It is here.
I'll pick what sounds like the most interesting thing-- ehh- The Assassin sounds promising, if anything here can be called promising.

Tales of the young Havelock Vetinari, detailing his father's death and his first day at school.

Whoever that is.
Oh, apparently (after some googling) this character is from Discworld, which I never read, so fuck it.
Oh my God this reads like the world's biggest bore is talking to an assembly of the world's biggest bores. Here's a hint if anyone reading this is thinking about writing: write about interesting things.

Let the bad reviews commence!

You get bad reviews on fanfiction.net? You have fucked up on a website where any mention of Naruto is A+ would read again.
I lost the story I was working on. My computer crashed and it's gone...all of it. I was really happy with it too. It's one of those situations where swear words aren't really enough so you just give the computer a disappointed look, sigh heavily and put it in the corner for a while so it can think about what it did wrong.
Maybe I don't know how to write fiction, but it seems to me stories should take (if they're going to be of any substance) a while to write. It shouldn't be "WELL I LOST WHAT I WAS WORKING ON I'M DISAPPOINTED IN MY COMPUTER NO BIG DEAL." Unless you just started.

I have been coming up with so many ideas recently. It's totally cool, but I don't have enough time to write it all down. Damn you, brain of mine!

It's great though. I've just started this new original fic and it's going really well.

I wish I could have this much confidence in all of my ideas.

The only problem is that I'm thinking up dialogue quicker then I can write it down, which is a problem I have a lot.

Which would be a huge problem for you from my limited experience with your writing, because, like Twilight (my best seller) it seems 95% dialog driven. Not good dialog, either, so you're even bad at your supposed strong point.
How does it feel to be a complete and utter hack?

Thats what my writing needs: the click where it all goes into place and you just know it's good.

Wouldn't everyone who writes need that? Most people struggle with it and shit but no, you just sit there and wait for the failed fanfiction express to come pick your lazy ass up and take you to uninspiredville.

And I know this is going to work: I know the characters, I know the world, I know the plotline. I'm taking my time with this one, writing as and when necessary and I'm going to polish it until it's exactly the way it plays out in my head

Congratulations you just described how to write fiction. Glad you learned this critical first step in the world of fiction writing after you've already been writing for years.

I just wrote two and half thousand words in an hour and a half. For me that is nothing short of fucking phenomenal.

Jesus Christ all mighty. I doubt the prolific Stephen King averages that. I know that's quality.
Two and a half thousand words For those of you unfamiliar with how many typed words are on an average sheet of paper (understandable, most people don't count words) that's about 6-7 pages. That's about 41 words a minute, a little under one word a second. Know what definitely didn't happen in that hour? Thought.
It's at this juncture I'd like to point out to my fanfiction-writing friends that writing isn't like grinding in an RPG-- you can't get better at it just by doing it. It's an active process of learning and discovery.

Okay, I've just completed Fallout 3 and...

Did I call this RPG grinding thing or what?

The game presents itself as pretty free-roaming, like GTA or something: You have a main story, you have side-quests, you intermingle them, etc,

>Fallout 3
>like GTA
I know people who would be raging right now.
Also I like how she talks about how bad the ending was (and it was) then goes on to complain basically about how there's no new game+ (the game ended without a chance to continue or restart with her character intact, she has to start completely over) but fails to mention that the ending made no fucking sense in the first place.
This is something I'd think a writer would pick up on: the super mutant in your party (immune to radiation) won't go pull a switch that'll fill the room with lethal radiation, instead leaving you (not immune to radiation) to do it instead. Similarly, the Ghoul could have done this.
Also I know this will come as a shock to this casualfriend blogger, but before-- ehh-- 1999, most games didn't have a new game + option. Beating the final boss resulted in a game over screen. The end. You win.
Now there's a post entitled "Dear American Voters..." followed by "thank you". You Brits are real pretentious with that shit, let me tell you. Although I guess no one really gives a shit who you vote for in your quaint little elections so whatever.
Actually, come to think of it I'm not sure why anyone gives a shit about our elections since you're invariably going to elect a fuck up no matter who you choose, but the party is fun and the colors are bright so that placates the masses.

I eventually managed to write my daily quota of word vomit last night

Great. Speaking of, I'm out of things to say.
Piss off.

Like strength is felt from hope and from despair.

Today's annoying cunt is really cunty and I feel like playing grindan gaems so I predict a short entry.
Click here and let's get this over with.

So I went to a Judith Butler lecture and was shocked.

I know everything and everyone cool and her name isn't on the list, so GUESS WHAT?

I really liked what she had to say. Truth be told, I believe that as long as humans live on this earth, there will never be an end to violence or war.

DARK FUTURE OF WAR
OR WOR AS I LIKE TO SPELL IT.

I guess we all need to start taking responsibility.

Not me. I have not started or participated in war 1. I am completely absolved from all guilt when it comes to wars.

Maybe the human race isn't so hopeless.

Baseless assumption.

But then again, our human race, all of our civilizations were built solely on hope.

Actually our advanced, first world civilization that includes computers on which to type this drivel was founded on knowledge, not hope.
Hope accomplishes very little. Actually doing shit, while it certainly does not absolve you of responsibility and is far harder than sitting around hoping, actually accomplishes shit.

I feel as though I am responsible for my familial rift.

Maybe if you had been a better daughter mommy and daddy would still love each other.

I am responsible. I am the cause of my parent's martial strife.

MARTIAL strife?
Surely you meant marital strife?
Still that's kind of a funny typo.

Ever since my Dad--my step father--started raising me. He was always hardest on me.

>hardest on me
tee hee.
Now there's a lot of words I'm not reading.

I must say I was shocked at the civility of our nation as Barack Obama was inaugurated today.

I was shocked at the price tag. Nice to see in this questionable economy you put this fine nation into further debt with a huge party.
Way to reward yourself before accomplishing anything, chief.

I think we have someone in office that will do something for us.

Oh, he'll do something, whether it's good or useful is still to be seen, though.

An amazing orator, hopefully his pretty words will not be empty.

>Obama
>amazing orator

Perhaps for once we will have a president we can trust.

HOW SO? What makes you think any of this?
Listen, kid, just because someone says they'll do something doesn't mean they will or even can.

Maybe he has already changed our jaded minds.

Whoever he has convinced wasn't really jaded.
I, for the record, remain deeply unconvinced.

I'm willing to hope. Its shining bright admist this stormy sky.

YES, THE RHETORIC OF A PESSIMISTIC, JADED MIND RIGHT HERE.

Maybe he won't let our nation fall prey once more to the bureaucratic sharks, nipping away at us bit by bit.

Yeah and maybe I'll win the lottery and spend the rest of my life swimming in ice cream, huh?

Young Goodman Brown once walked into a forest where the devil greeted him.

Oh what's up English 201?

And once the dream was over with he lost his faith in people and became a bitter Old man, scornful of all things that sought happiness.

Didn't know this was "read my bullshit essay" blog. Where's the part about the symbolism in his wife, Faith's, name?
Yeah that's right, uhh, i_am_super_sora, I read that story too. Three times.

Broken. I feel broken.

Really? I feel good.
Yeah it's pretty great to be me, actually.

I am so in love with one man. One man who I swear I would live and die for. Just his happiness.

Shit. You need a hobby or something. Maybe go through your old entries and fix your copious, copious typos? I mean, sure, no one is perfect (EVEN MY BLOG CONTAINS TYPOS, AND YES I AM AWARE OF THEM) but goddamn there's a line, and you crossed it.

I want to touch him, ohld his hand, help him with his pain.

See this is exactly what I'm talking about. "Ohld" his hand indeed.

SHe cut me where I didn't know I could be cut.

Your-- no, I can't imagine a place like that.
I guess a crevice of some sort, like your asshole or the inside of your mouth.
Also a lot of people don't like to think about their genitals or eyes getting cut.
By "a lot" I mean "sane people" of course.
Personally I don't like to think about getting cut at all, but if I absolutely had to be there are some areas that would be more preferable than others.

Never forget.

Finally some good advice from your stupid mouth.
Never forgive, never forget.

There are no guarantees in life
Not for the present,
Nor for the future.

LIVE NOT FOR THE PAST OR THE FUTURE, BUT FOR THE ETERNAL NOW.
This does drag on.

Music.

It is an art. As art it has one main function.
To reflect what other humans view the human soul as.

Wow that's really-- stupid. You should probably feel bad.

Perhaps in music we find God. or a version of it. God being a compilation of human souls and interests and within this one thing we feel connected to the rest of the human race. Our lives stop. We feel the wisdom and the power of each stroke of the bow, strike of the keys, or strum of the chord.

Ha, ha what kind of pussy chick music have you been listening to, sister?
I'm listening to Money for Nothing and all I hear is the most badass guitar ever.

Music is one thing that makes no sense at all, but at the same time makes the most sense to us.

Us?

So, I keep drawing the ace of cups.

Yup. If you don't know what that card means, then look it up.

You're getting in touch with your feelings. It's the initial flow of emotions, which somehow I doubt ever stops with you.
I'm getting in touch with my feelings, too. Oh wait, no, I'm cupping my balls.

Hope is a bitch cunt face....

Yeah get angry. Break things.

Good morrow, dear friends and strangers.

See you later, pantaloon wearing faggot.
Well it's grindan gaems time. I CAN HEAR CLEAR MIND CALLING ME, AND IT IS LESS THAN ONE LEVEL AWAY~

Fandom.

Being a fan of something is fun, isn't it? Like me personally, I fucking love Warhammer and Shin Megami Tensei. I, however, cannot stand other fans of these things. This is where "fandom" comes in-- basically peoples' excuses to be fucking idiots about something.
Here's someone who likes the fandom behind shit. That's basically guaranteed good reading, in my mind.
What does a fandom produce? Noise. Lots and lots of noise. Specifically in the "fanfic" department.
Ever read a fanfic? No? Well allow me to enlighten you. Imagine you have a wrench. Wrap that wrench around the thick part of your middle finger. Now turn your middle finger towards yourself so that you are flipping yourself the bird. Now squeeze that wrench as hard as possible.
That's fanfic.
Contrary to what many fanfic readers and writers will insist, there has never been a good fanfic. Not one.
In fact I have trouble imagining a bizarre, parallel Earth where there is a good fanfic.

So, just a few days ago I was lamenting how there's little good fic out there for Twilight fandom?

Twilight is shit tier fiction. Before, had you asked me as an avowed litfag what the shit tier fiction was I probably would have responded "Harry Potter... Or The Wheel of Time, I guess." Now if you asked me I'd say without a doubt "Twilight." Twilight is to writing what taking a dump is to living.

NaNo is around the corner and I, once again, am biting at the bit. I want to write. I'm dying to write, but ... I want to write some of everything instead of everything of one thing.

NaNo is the national write a book month or some shit like that. Basically it encourages people to write.
Fanastic in theory. But since you have to write an entire novel (100,000+ words) in a month it doesn't encourage quality. At all. It encourages Stephen King-speed writing, which is not conductive to quality. How long did Paradise Lost take to write? A decade or something?

I still plan on doing the same plot as I'd had before, but it's become a longer fic than had originally been intended. I'm on Chapter 5 and no confessions of love as of yet, and I'm already at 14k+ words.

That's 14,000 words. That's about ten pages. I cannot imagine subjecting myself to that torture.

Last.fm is teh bomb. Seriously. I love it. Found about 4 songs I want to own for my iPod. It's not as great as Pandora was for matching songs to interest, but it's not horrible either.

Last.fm was a fad with my friends for about 10 seconds. Everyone I know got into it, then we promptly realized what mutants we were when it came to music. No one mentions it anymore.

So, I've signed up for a few Twilight communities, checked out some websites, mostly Twilighted, and notied more often than not, that the fics are coming up short for me.

Clicking on this.
Wow this is terrible. The number one most reviewed piece on this website is "Bella and Edward's Sex Anthology" so I think that should tell everyone who had a doubt about this what people are looking for in fanfiction.

where they ignore basic facts of canon that don't conform to how they want their story written ... like the fact that Twilight vampires don't sleep, or are ice cold to the touch, or hard as granite.

I just read a drabble where the vampire is warm and sleeping. No warning for AU or that the author had decided to ignore canon in that respect, just bam! - a total misrepresentation of the vampires you claim to love.

At this point I'd say "make up your own story instead of leeching off someone else" but that would imply a creativity fanfiction authors don't have, so fuck it.
In my hierarchy of authorship fanfiction authors rank beneath Stephen King, and that's saying something.

What type of Angel(us) centric fic would you like to see written?

I have to assume this is that TV show and not angels as in... Angels. If it is the latter then write about Satan. He was the best angel. The most human angel. If he doesn't count because whatever, then Metatron.

Oh, and don't hate me for this,

I wouldn't say I hate you. That's too strong of an emotion to feel for a trifle like you. Loathe might be a suitable word.

Now I have to find a beta for it because I know my grammar is totally fubar'd in it. It's weird sort of second person present tense I think ... not sure if that's even correct.

Second person present tense? That means "you are". This has to be the shittiest thing ever written. I must find it.

So, I just danced like crazy with my puppy to Paralizer by Finger Eleven.

You're a bint.

But, speaking of writing ... can someone jump start my muse? I've been writing no more than a sentence or two a day on Vacation and I refuse to just let it be and go on to something else because then it'll never get finished.

Again with this shit. How many times to I have to explain to you morons? It's not your muse. What, everyone has to get their own muse, now?
If I had to guess which one you'd invoke (or whatever it is you think you'd have to do) I'd say try and get the attention of Melpomene, the muse of tragedy, since anything you write would undoubtedly be tragically awful.

So, it turns out my muse isn't horribly mad at me. I've been working (albeit slowly due to work constraints) on Vacation. I am just starting on chapter 3 of the re-write.

They should be fucking furious. Thankfully (for you) they only exist idealistically and not actually in reality.

Eventually I'll see about getting a beta, but not yet. I want to get a bit more written.

I think most --real-- writers would call this a rough draft and not a beta, because indeed a beta usually refers to a video game or computer program, but fine whatever I'll roll with it.

So, yesterday I was all geared up to go over my fics today at work. I opened Vacation, thinking, "oh this'll be fairly quick, it's nearly done

Maybe you should, I don't know, work?

There are things that cannot ever be taken back, words spoken in anger or fear, things thrown and broken that cannot be repleaced, and innocence gone forever like the last light of a dying star.

When a star dies it explodes and fuses all elements after iron. Did you know that? By that fact alone this planet cannot be the child of a first generation star because of all the other elements.

... just less. I abhor that I was neive.

Neive. That's in Italy, I think. Nice resort town.

I hate that I was more a prisoner of my own making than a hostage of someone else's.

Not even sure what that means.

Which leaves me stuck in this vicious cycle of irritatedness that keeps me from getting a good nights sleep, keeps me from being fun anywhere I go, and generally keeps me from being a NORMAL, well adjusted human being.

Checking my dictionary. Nope. "Irritatedness" isn't a word.

Then, he gets arrested for domestic violence, get's bonded WITHOUT any jail time, just a little probation and some counceling. WTF is that shit????

Get's. Get's. Get's. Also I don't know stop asking me questions.

So ... how's things? Gabrielle? Em? Femail? Andy? Shannon? Beth? Angelskuupio? The entire world of people who care about me more than I deserve?

Well this obviously wasn't directed at me because, when it comes to you, I don't give three fucks about four fucks. But if I had to answer, I'd say that was pretty fucking terrible. I give that no stars, in fact. See me after class.
This mighty yawn-fest of cliches evoked 53 responses. That's more than all of my entries put together, which goes to show how much noise these people make.
If I had to define this blog in a single term I'd say "unwarranted self importance". Everything about this has "look at this gr8 fanfic I wrote!" all up inside it, but all of it is shit. Based on her "heart felt" entries she has trouble expressing even the most rudimentary human emotions without resorting to cliches, her grasp of grammar is tenuous at best and she shows little hope for improvement because anything less than ego stroking sycophancy isn't tolerated (like all fanfic writers).
So in conclusion I'd rather be reading Stephen King than reading this.