Oh my God Livejournal come on man

So it looks like Livejournal has redone their front page. It's completely the same upon a cursory scan but one critical button is missing: Journals. It looks like I can no longer browse the life section. Or any section at all for that matter.
I then discovered I could search by category or school, which is fantastic if you want to read the philosophical ramblings of a 14 year old made five years ago (no thanks). I'm fairly certain this feature has always existed but had previously been locked out to people not registered (oh hi me). I debated registering to see if they had just switched browse and search, but the fantastic Livejournal registration system wouldn't allow me an account, so who the fuck knows?
Of course the "Shop" button is still healthy and intact, so fantastic. Wouldn't want to do anything to that, would you, you cunts? Fuck blogging.
Fortunately Deadjournal, that oft-neglected emo sister to Livejournal, stands intact and ready to please.
If that sounded Freudian that was the idea. Anyway, here we go: Papyrus of Ani.

As of late, I feel like i'm here for no reason. Like I don't matter to anyone, except Raiden.

... The god of lightning?
He's basically Zeus but in Japan. Also not the lead god because their lead god is a girl (kind of an unusual feature in mythology, that). Although I think you can make a strong argument for the central figure in Greek mythology being Athena and not Zeus, even though Zeus is in charge of the whole operation.

And the only reason I matter to him is because I feed him and change him.

I don't think Raiden (or Raijin if you're not American. And fat) would need fed or changed. I bet he can take care of himself pretty handily, in fact.

And while I know he'd miss me if I was gone.

Were* gone. I don't know why I bother with something that freakishly subtle when 99% of the internet doesn't know the difference between your and you're, but it bothered me.

He'd eventually just stop missing me and because he's so young, maybe even forget about me.

You named your kid Raiden?
What the fuck is the matter with you?

I wish my cramps were worse. Right now, i'm thinking I deserve it. I can't believe how fucking stupid I am.

I can't believe you named your fucking kid Raiden. What's wrong with Roger?

Not a single day has gone by that I haven't cried. While i've already kind of realized things have gone back to normal, I don't want to admit it.

This is why I don't visit Deadjournal very often. All of the blogs (and I do mean all of them) are written in this incredibly cryptic language. I know Livejournal often does that but at least on Livejournal it's book ended by Bible quotes or Naruto quotes (or both for some reason) so you can at least get a vague impression of what's going on.
Not so on Deadjournal, so you're left with two contradictory thoughts of wanting to know what's happening but not giving a shit at the same time.

I want to remember how beautiful and loved he makes me feel.

Hurr durr I'm a hurr.

Every time I think about how beautiful things were just a week ago and how they are now. I break down and cry.

That was then, this is now, focus not on the past or the future but on the ever-present now, etc etc

I need even more love and support than before he left. Where am I supposed to turn? I'm going from day to day feeling like i'm barely surviving this pain.

Ha, ha okay, Linkin Park. Excuse me, I have some new Pokemon games to play.

With this much pain and what sometimes feels like noone to share it with,

Why is it people always want to share shit with Peter Noone? Is he some sort of sage and I didn't know? (Lead singer for Herman's Hermits [ask your grandmother]).

I think part of the problem is I still haven't come to terms with everything. In my mind I go to sleep thinking that maybe tomorrow all our problems will be solved and we'll at least have a plan.

People think too much when they go to sleep, Jesus Christ.
Now there are ten thousand words that I'm not reading. I'm suddenly reminded I have to finish The Morgesons this weekend, though.
Oh all right, I'll make an effort to read this.

As soon as we got back to the hotel room and just put down our luggage and focused on eachother, it was the most beautiful, natural loving thing in the world.

Kind of sorry I started reading this now, good grief.

I sat on the couch and he just started kissing me, I returned all this and, of course, the kissing led to making out and touching.

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-- gross, fat girl vag.

Making love to him was perfect. Feeling totally at ease and in love. Being so in sync and looking eachother in the eyes while saying how much you love eachother.

Each other is two words. I'm sure Peter Noone would tell you this.

Every time we made love it was a physical and a spiritual thing.

Ah, I know what you mean. One time I had a ball of wax in my ear that I swear must have been the size of my fist that I finally got out.
It was almost a moral victory, that's how good it felt.

I usually feel really cuddly and lovey at this time. And in a way, I do. I'm just afraid if I think too much about it that it will just make me sad. There has been no doubts this last month or so that the 25th of January was when Jav was supposed to be out here.

I think Jav is her husband and he's either dead (based off her posts it's really hard to tell) or he's away, possibly in a war somewhere?

10:09pm

I don't feel loved. I don't feel wanted. Since Sat nothing has gotten better. I play by myself just to feel something.

Fat girl touching herself.
I can see myself turning into that stereotypical starved for attention wife that will get it wherever she can.

I WANT TO FUCKING FEEL SOMETHING

So you say you want to feel something because you can't, longing being an emotion you supposedly can't feel.
Wow. That just blew my mind, man.

I just want this fucking feeling to go away..

But I thought YOU JUST WANTED TO FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL SOOOOOOOOOMETHING :(

I'm proud of myself for not writing during my emo phase.

Excuse me? You didn't write during your emo phase? Doesn't that imply what you're writing right now is somehow not emo, or worse, that you can somehow be more emo than this?
I'm trying to imagine you even whinier than you are now, and quite frankly it's difficult to comprehend.In fact I'm left with only one thing left to say:Also I hope Livejournal gets its shit together Friday.

Enchahntment?

ENCHAHNTMENT!
Yeah I've been playing some Dragon Age: Origins lately, and there's this weird autistic Dwarf kid who can only say "enchantment" and, surprisingly, he enchants things. He's pretty bro tier.
Speaking of bro: today I noticed I had a follower. That's very flattering, especially since it doesn't appear to be anyone I know, so thanks for that.
Now I have strangers reading, time to drown site in popups.
Here we have a blast from the past. Anorexia blogs? Hell yeah, motherfucker. It's like revisiting a favorite game from years ago. Nostalgia~

god today has been terrible. jesus. i don't even have the energy to go through it right now it was so awful.

Yeah the weather fucking SUCKED today, which put me in a great mood. Traffic is so light and no one is on campus the second there's a single raindrop. Bitches weren't from old country where today would be considered beach weather.

my aunt is such a fucking bitch. she either ignored me or bitched at me all fucking day.

everyone says i'm such a spoiled brat and if i sit down for one second they make me feel like shit for it. i've been on my feet for eight hours straight. i guess the good thing is i've burned a bunch of calories.

So one thing that's really fucking awesome is the character creator in Dragon Age. At first I thought it was pretty light weight compared to shit I'm used to, but in actuality it's just really easy to use.
Also my new computer barely cracks 60c running it on ultra high, so I'm pretty pro at the moment.

i can't believe one day could be so fucking long.

good news is my books and new saosin cd came in from amazon so that perked my spirits up quite a bit. and i didn't eat anything but 6 cals worth of gum today until dinner (which was my goal).

Oh right, you.

so far today i've done okay eating wise. not great, but not binging by any means.

I'm having a little trouble with the scale, here. That'd be like me saying "I'm doing okay with this breathing thing. Not great, but I haven't suffocated on my own fluids yet." There's a pretty huge gap between "okay" and "vomiting" at least in my mind.

I am a Florist, but i want to go back to school for either Creative Writing or English or something like that. My dream would be to write fiction novels.

As opposed to nonfiction novels. Also: can't write fiction without a degree in it.

Woman I Admire:
Audrey Hepburn- She handled every situation with grace and care and she was the champion of many wonderful causes. I just love her grace and charm and beauty!

Too bad you didn't admire how much she wasn't a cunt. Oh well. I guess logically if you're graceful and charming you're also not a cunt-- err maybe? Can you be a cunt and still charming?

the family reunion was AWFUL.

first of all, my pretty, skinny cousin was there with her new boyfriend which made me feel inferior and stupid.

Good.
No I'm fucking serious. Good. You should feel inferior and stupid.
Yeah I had another quote here then I deleted it. Having some problems giving a shit, here.

last night i was real bad off. i cut myself alot. cut so much i can no longer see my stretch marks on my stomach. all i could think was, "My parents deserve a daughter so much better than me."

Cool.

did you know that 130 cups of tea will kill you?

Presumably all at once and not over the course of a lifetime. If it's the latter I know some English people who are in trouble.

i cut myself last night. not alot and it was only shallow cuts because my fear of getting caught way over powers my need to hurt myself.

Ha, ha, easy there, Linkin Park.

i will just never get it together. my mind is so fucked up, i'd probably have dropped out of college before the semester was over like the past 3 times i've tried to go to college. i am just a worthless sack of shit. honestly.

Three times? Wow, usually people give up or succeed before that. Well hey, if you need something good to say about yourself: you're persistent.
I'm not sure if that's a compliment, come to think of it.

i tried to commit suicide once, but i chickened out. it got me sent to this horrible mental hospital. i almost killed my parents by doing that. that's the only reason i'm not contemplating suicide again.

Uh-huh. So I have this awesome picture of this dog:
Check that fucker out. Dog wearing glasses. He thinks he's people! Dogs are funny.
Oh right, you.

i'm going to be this fat, fucking failure for the rest of my life.

i'm never going to publish a novel, never going to be pretty, never going to find that perfect guy, never going to have friends... hell, i'm never even going to go to fucking college.

Yeah join the fucking club. Well, I am pretty devilishly handsome, come to think of it. Also I have friends. Oh, and I'm pretty thin.
Oh and I do go to college.
Uhh-- so no, I guess it is just you. Sorry~
Hurray story time.

this is a little scene from a discontinued story of mine.

DISCONTINUED. Last story ever, folks, enjoy it while it lasts before they discontinue them~

Levi leans into me and I can smell the alcohol and smoke on his skin. I open my mouth to breathe it all in more fully, his scent sending lightning through my system.

He made some great jeans.

He covers my mouth with his own and slowly leans me back onto his bed.

I've read this line a lot in fiction (novels) and it never really conjured an image of kissing to me. I always imagine someone looking deadly serious and covering someone's mouth with their own, but everyone has a really serious straight face-- it's a stupid image.

I feel my chest opening up and letting him fill me, letting the guilt and fear and the wanting overtake my senses.

First part sounds like a serious medical problem, while the second part sounds like a serious psychological condition.
Also brotip: you can write about things not related to you.
Ha, ha, just kidding. You can't, but hypothetically, I mean.

His body is hot like a furnace, scorching me with his fingertips. His damaged hand brushes along my back, my stomach, down my bare legs, aggravating the angry red cuts that cover me. I feel the pain of it and I like it.

Okay I hope I'm not the only one who first read "angry red cuts" as "angry red cunts". I did a double take. Kind of gives it a new meaning.
So long story short something sexy is about to happen then he asks why she cuts herself and she gets really butthurt for no reason and pulls that bullshit 6 year old tactic of "now I'm really angry at you all day" like anyone would give a fuck (and she wouldn't forget the second something shiny entered her vision, or a loud noise or something).

It's about a girl named Mercy, who during the day is a nurse on the children's floor of a hospital and at night is a sadistic vigilante killing men who rape or molest women.

Wasn't that an episode of that old Full Metal Alchemist anime? Or was that Catwoman? Either way, been done before. Better, too.

i thought i saw a man in the house last night, but it was just the silhouette of a table.

Tables are crafty like that.

Matthew keeps begging me to come back. But honestly, i don't want to. I wish i had never gotten married. I wish i could go home, but i don't wish to see him again.

I asked him about the gay porn, he said that it still turns him on, but that he doesn't want that lifestyle.

Ha, ha, ha oh wow. Turned a guy gay. Good work, honey.
Can't top that. Ending on a victorious note~

Apparently this is a common thing and I just missed it

Or maybe I'm just crazy lucky (subjectively of course) when it comes to finding these fucking things.
How many anorexia-based blogs are there? I would have said one, and I have already found it, but apparently they're common enough to find two different ones completely by chance.

so i havent posted ina couple days
ive been really busy
im in charge of parts of our sorority recruitment
so ive been bustin ass
my sorority sisters and i we did a circle of trust
where we tell everyone something difficult
and it brings us all closer
4 girls admitted to eating disorders
i wasnt shocked that they had EDs
i was shocked however that they admitted it
im not about to say a word to anyone
sorry

Err, except to the internet, which isn't nearly as anonymous as you'd believe.
Also I'd like to mention that most of these girls aren't grotesquely thin. Most hang around the low to mid 120s. Apparently any thought given to weight loss is now "anorexic". I'd believe it, too, looking around campus today. Good Christ, people. You can skip a meal once. It won't hurt you.

girls,

I don't know... if it's better to eat an apple, or white bio yoghurt with dried raisins???
And, do you have any experiences with fruit and vegetable juices? we bought new sapper- so I wanna know, which juice is the best for getting thinner- cause... that's realy my only one interrest :)

You can have both. Both, I'd say, would constitute a nice, light breakfast. Then some sort of juice.
Then someone responds with this:

yepp, apple. almost always rule fruit over anything else. and for fruit/veggie juices? V8 juice is awesome!

V8 juice. Everyone familiar with that fine product?

Ok thanks, :))) what it's in the weight juice? can I make it, or I have to buy it...?

By "weight juice" I assume she means the V8. WHAT FUCKING PLANET DO YOU LIVE ON WHERE YOU ARE UNAWARE OF V-FUCKING-8? I SEE ADS ON TV, ADS IN NEWSPAPERS, THEN I CONSTANTLY SEE IT IN THE STORE.
Initially I thought "well maybe she doesn't live in an industrialized nation" but then I said "IF SHE FUCKING DIDN'T SHE'D BE WORRIED ABOUT MORE IMPORTANT THINGS." Then I got angry at myself for permitting twattery in any form, no matter how small.
By the way, just so everyone knows nothing escapes my wit, the obvious answer is "because she has her head so far up her ass she can't see anything else."
I like this one more because instead of just calorie counting it also has really girly, emo poetry.
This poem in particular is hilarious because it expresses contradictory thoughts and emotions, often back to back.

ive always been the fat girl.
ive always been the one in the background that no one notices
ive been the one blocking all the skinny people

So you were in the back and no one noticed you, but you also blocked all the skinny people?
So let me set up a situation where this event could exist. It's the beautiful, popular skinny girls, then ugly fat you, and you have your back to the wall, but then hiding inside the wall is ninjas or assassins or some shit.

ive never had thoughts of Ana/Mia cause i was so fucking greedy
ive never been noticed
i was scared to use a scale
i couldnt bare looking at myself in the mirror
ive always been told to stop eating
ive never came near perfect.

So you weren't anorexic because you were greedy?
I, because I'm an awesome space marine and shit, would argue they're BOTH greedy. One is gluttony, the other one IS ALSO FUCKING GLUTTONY. EVER HEARD OF A "GLUTTON FOR PAIN"? I'm going to be brutally honest here (as opposed to how I usually am) and say this: no one cares if you have the cupcake or not.
No one does.
Seriously. Eat it or don't. Believe me, I have you set up in such a lose-lose situation I get to make fun of you regardless, so whatever.

im losing weight.
so how come im in the spotlight?
how come i cant stop weighing myself?
how come i spend countless hours infront of the mirror?
how come i cant stop pinching all the fat on my body?
how come i cant stop shoving all those pills down my throat?
how come i cant stop purging after anything touches my lips?
how come im always noticed?
how come i cant bare the site of food?
how come people are forcing me to eat?
so how come they claim im good just the way i am?

Because you're a shallow cunt? I don't know. Will this be on the test?
Also, unless someone is actually shoving food into your fat face or holding a gun to your head and making you eat no one is forcing you to do anything.
Now this poem takes an odd and unexpected left turn and becomes a love poem.

my feelings are getting stronger.
i cant live without you
everytime i wake up, you're on my mind
im addicted to you & i dont want it to stop
everywhere i go, you are with me
you make me happy & you make me afraid
you let me live in the moment like its my last day alive
you are part of me, always

Nice. Definitely not cliched or trite or any other mean word I can think of.
... Huh. This blog ALSO does that thing where the background is white and the food is white so you have to highlight to read it.
... Is this the same blog?

i just got back from running errands, and my mom finally got my a scale. but it wasn't that easy to get there. she kept questioning me in the store, telling me i don't need to worry about my weight and how i don't need one. i just kept telling her i do, so finally she gave in. today has been alright with the eating. i've been picking a lot, but even that adds up. this morning i had an apple and like 5 crackers. then i had lots of diet coke. then my sister was having some baked doritos so of course i had some of those. not to many though. then i packed my mom and my sister a sandwich and told them i would eat when i got home since the only thing i could have would be a PB and J...

Instead of thinking about food and weight and yourself constantly, you should read a book. A grammar book ideally, but we'll start small.
Every time you have obsessive weight or "me" thoughts, channel them into the acquisition of knowledge. They'll be calling you a savant (and not the idiot persuasion this time!) in no time.

Hey everyone...I am posting all my stats and everything (like my cal intake) on my journal so you can check it out there.

Thanks I've been wondering.
In fact I'm going to do what no one else here has done. I'm actually going to look at her stats.
Hopefully it's like Pokemon and she'll have a high attack stat or something, so then I can say "she'd make a good sweeper."

Ok, so it's 1:16 pm here in Jersey and I officially haven't eaten anything which is good. Basically, I just woke up which is why I haven't eaten but that's an awesome thing because when I first wake up I can never eat. BUT THEN i walk out into my kitchen and there is a HUGE bowl of pasta with awesome sauce sitting on my stove. I wanted it so bad but then I just turned out of the kitchen and walked away. Which is pretty cool I guess.

Maybe it's because I'm a huge nerd but anything qualified with "pretty cool" usually starts with "my chaplain just totally destroyed that carnifex holy shit."

so i am addicted to working out. Which would be ideal, however i am addicted to food in many ways as well. It has a strong power over me.
ugh. I also love the feeling of being pure. Just me. No food.

Yeah food has a strange power over me as well. If I don't eat it I'll die.
Also you're never "just you" because there are colonies of bacteria living in your stomach and bowels that exist in symbiosis with your body (look up that word I'm not here to teach you goddamn) so enjoy thinking you're filled with white light and cupcakes or whatever it is girls think. Meanwhile I know the truth.

I wanna cry. I have been working so hard to get down below 115 and i finaly did it, then i lost it because my roomie had a birthday dinner yesterday at Hooters and i had 10 wings. I ate way to much.. Now i cant get down again. ahhh i want to cry right now. I ran 4 miles this after noon and got on the scale a few min ago and gained 3 lbs. What the crap. How did i fing gain i was sweating like a pig how did i gain. ahhh i dont want to eat for weeks.. someone tell me some good excersises that will burn a ton of cals...

Her location is listed as "her cell without walls" aww, poor little anorexic girl. Her life finally had purpose when she was under 115 pounds.
Wait what is this music?
WHY CAN'T I TURN IT OFF?
THIS ISN'T ANYTHING I LISTEN TO
WHO IS THIS WHINY FAGGOT SCREAMING AT ME?
You cunts. THIS IS YOUR DOING.
If you think this will scare me off...

as some of you know from my previous post today i'm sick
i can't take two bites of anything without my insides feeling like a hand is in there grabbing and twisting them. ugh. it's good and bad i guess
but what does my darling best friend think is a good idea for a person with the flu? let's go out to eat... to denny's. Seriously?

Yeah. Surprisingly, the world doesn't revolve around you, so if you don't feel like eating out, that doesn't mean no one does.

what he doesn't realize is that it's ana and i don't want to eat. he continued and said "i know you don't have an eating disorder but i think you are at a higher risk. so just be careful" i honestly just wanted to cry. I wanted to tell him everything, but I'm not ready. But the fact is, he gets it. When I am ready, he'll be listening and not angry like everyone else in my life would be. He won't think I'm weak.

That's okay I think you're weak. Pathetic, too.

ok so i binged at lunch and had a bagel, like 15 crackers with dip and like 7 cookies. i wanted to purge soooo badly but i'm trying to stop bc its like really super bad for you.

If I were to teach a speech class, and someone asked me "what should I avoid doing?" I'd say "pretty much this."

So I am sure this world HATES me.

If the world did hate you, the best thing it could do is ignore you. You couldn't fucking take it.

I watched the Degrassi episodes where Emma is anorexic and it is like so easy for her to go into recovery and that bugs me.

That's because Emma's a character on a TV show you dumb whore.
Goddamn this screaming music is really getting to me.
All right that's it. It goes on and on and on but I can only take so many "EVERYONE HATES ME CAN'T EAT OM NOM NOM NOM I PUKED IT BACK UP" entries.
This is the last entry about anorexia I'm making. This is bullshit.

Wackies

If you're around my age you probably remember all the Lifetime movies you had to watch in high school health class (because they'd be goddamned if an entire day would pass without a movie) about anorexia. The one my class had to watch starred an aging Wonder Woman and some bimbo. I have a sneaking suspicion there's an entire closet filled with similar-but-slightly-different movies.
While Wonder Woman went on to voice all of the women in Morrowind and Oblivion (fine video games, a bit of an acquired taste) and the bimbo went of to do... Whatever it is she did, time moved on.
I think Lifetime should revisit the anorexia theme, though. It would be an easy story. Newly-divorced mother takes daughter to new town (San Francisco, that way you wouldn't have to pay extra for not filming on location) and she has trouble adjusting until she finds a website just like this.
You mean she can be thin and beautiful? THEN SHE'D BE THE MOST POPULAR GIRL IN SCHOOL AND THAT HUNK OF A STAR QUARTERBACK WILL ASK HER TO THE PROM AND NOT THAT SKANK DEBBY!
Seriously this website reads like every Lifetime movie watchers' nightmare. Apparently these girls, when they're told that perhaps taking in large quantities of food then sticking a feather down their throat and purging it all back up might not be the healthiest decision ever take to the internet to share their woes.
Also purging secrets.
A recurring theme here is beautiful women as their avatars. I guess if you purge enough you, too, can look like Audrey Hepburn. Not likely, but hey whatever.
So here we go:
on another note...

intake:
jello = 10
Yogurt =25
Chocolate = 35
SOFTICECREAM=300
OTHer shit = 50
Broth =10


=430

outtake =
6k biking = -200

total = 230.
meh.
i was gonna binge cuz of my hair
but then the scale said 141
so i was grateful.

141? You're doing it wrong.

I'm sorry I'm posting so much. I was just wondering how everyone else's parents react to their eating habits. My mom is so proud that I've lost so much weight and recently she seems to be looking disappointed whenever she sees me eating. It could just be all in my mind but I feel like she wants me to be even thinner. My step-dad gets upset when I don't eat but my mom always defends me. Does anyone else have similar parents or are mine weird?

You're projecting. You personally are disappointed in your weight, but since the world MUST REVOLVE AROUND YOU you project that onto your poor mother.

One more thing. I generally don't let myself have more than 300 calories on a normal day. Sometimes I let myself have 500 but not usually. I've read that only eating that much can actually stop weight loss. Is that true? How much do you guys usually take in? I don't think I could eat more than 500 calories without slipping into a binge or making myself sick (like just sick, not purging) but I just want to know the facts about it.

Well, you see, when you're starving to death your body converts anything it gets into fat to prevent, uhh what was it... Oh that's right. Death.

Every now and then I try to be normal. I try to forget my E.D. and just eat like everyone else. As soon as the food reaches my stomach I feel sick. I had my first real meal in weeks a few hours ago and now I'm so bloated that I look 4 months pregnant. It hurts so badly. I never want to eat again, it's just not for me. I want to be clean and simple and thin. I can't stand this. I hate the way I think and act and am. I'm trying so hard to be positive. I'm trying not to take laxatives but I feel like I need them. Tomorrow I'm starting a 3 day fast. I'm not weighing myself until I'm done.

Yeah damn the eating elite.
Also the reason that happened is because your gut flora and fauna are so fucked up from the flood of laxatives and purging your body doesn't know what the fuck. It should go without saying but only eating 200 calories a day and not even letting those digest properly isn't healthy.
Also I like the line "I never want to eat again, it's just not for me." Like it's a hobby or something. WELL I TRIED THAT KICK BOXING CLASS, BUT IT WASN'T FOR ME.
One thing that my blog layout may render not-obvious is the color choice of this blog. It's a white background and all food is in white, making it appear as if it's invisible. You have to highlight to see the food.
I guess they're trying to make the food "go away" because they don't want to eat it. Or eating isn't for them.
Whatever.
One thing I've noticed is while most people might plan their day around some sort of events or set of events, like going to school or work, these stable ladies plan their days exclusively around food.
Even normally enjoyable events are often overshadowed by food, like this one girl who mentions in passing going to her boyfriend's house. What she focused on was not what should have been an enjoyable (albeit boring for me thanks for not droning on about it) event, but instead the fact that she had to eat pizza.
Maybe that's why they have to binge. They're like Pacman: any food they encounter THEY MUST EAT.
Next is a multicolor resolve to not eat all day.
Which isn't hard. Shit I could do that standing on my head.

i really really hope i can do it!! i have the willpower to control it, but i am going out tonight and tomorrow night so i hope nobody forces me to eat.

To me, "willpower" would be the power to control these obsessive thoughts plaguing every waking minute of your day, but maybe that's why I'm not crazy.

I met this guy and he's super hot and I'm totally into him, but he's so skinny! Honestly. I weigh 123 and he weighs 130.

Apparently, she wants to "get" skinny for him. Which, honestly, depending on her height she could stand to lose a couple pounds.
What? It might be true.

I fast and only eat low amounts of calories. My legs are HUGE and MUSCULAR because of soccer.

Anyway, I wanna be skinny for him (please don't tell me it's wrong I just wanna do it)

DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS?

Ha, ha, ha you have fat legs. EASY ON THE CUPCAKES.
Sorry. Isn't that good therapy for anorexics? Give them conflicting signals about their weight constantly?
YOU'RE SO SKINNY! EAT SOMETHING!
WHOA EASY THERE, MOBY!
I'm pioneering a new form of therapy.

i won't let this get me down,
i will be beautiful.

Time to root yourself in reality. Even if you waste away to nothing it still wouldn't make the unfortunate structure of your face better.
OHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT.
Me: 1
girls with no self esteem: 0
They just got DESTROYED.

Quickest way to loose 20 pounds in less than 2 month possiblee right?? how?

Take an English class.
What? It's not like you'd know. It's true. Trust me.

Today has been okay so far, but I can never tell how it will end. I tried to stay in bed as long as possible so it's about 1:30PM now and I've only had water.

So you don't eat, and to ignore the hunger pains, or to avoid trying to eat or whatever you stay in bed forever.
Seeeeeeeeeeeeems healthy.

I'm suddenly worried my mom might say she thinks I have an eating disorder. I don't know why I'm suddenly worried about it since I never was before, but I'm really, really nervous now.

Because it's the truth?
Well this is shocking. A MAN, ON THE ANOREXIA BOARD? Every 1 in 1000 cases of breast cancer affect men, so I'm sure it happens here as well.

I don't lose weight so I get people's attention.

You're lying. You're just upset everyone isn't showering you with praise.

I do it to make myself feel happy and accomplished.

What a pointless accomplishment. So you wasted away to nothing. What did that gain you? With all that wasted effort and torment you could actually have something to show for it by now.
Let's say it isn't even the most useful skill you put it towards. Let's compare it to something I do, for sake of fairness: let's say you put the same amount of effort into painting these little Warhammer figures.
I BET YOU'D BE BETTER THAN ME BY NOW. YOU COULD HAVE TROPHIES TO SHOW FOR IT.

not excited to start college?

The only thing I like about school is that I don't have time to eat.

Maybe you're taking harder classes than I, or maybe your schedule is filled with enriching activities (doubt it) while I spend my evenings saying mean things about strangers on the internet, but I have never been so busy with college that I had no time to eat.
Even at my absolute busiest with college, and that involved a math class, calculus no less, I still ate at least twice a day.

stiiiill hungey, 2 hours ti i lveave for work, 9 til bed, 6 til the gir goes to bed,i can just lay onthe couch with headphone on after she goes to bed, i will stay strong,beenon edge for 4 hours

I bet I could roll my face around the keyboard and come up with more coherent sentences than this.
To prove this wasn't just an off post either, here's one of her comments:

my calroie counter ,com, its amazing, u can put ur nimimun daily intake as low as you want!!

"nimimun"? What are you, two? I bet even I didn't bungle words that hard when I was a toddler.
Seriously with all this wasted thought on food you could have at least been coherent at English by now.

My roommate, Ana moved in today. She's so petite. And she's got great collarbones.

Hmm maybe I have odd taste in women, but one thing I certainly wouldn't think to look for is "great collarbones". Unless I turn into a vampire or something, then that is relatively close to the neck so that may be a pleasing feature.
All right that's all I have. It goes back and back forever, but it's starting to repeat itself a lot so whatever.