Here's to you Misses Mousekewitz is all about "lol wacky" humor.
I'm going to copy this entire post. Read the entire thing. If, by the end, you can't feel the blood beating in your eyes then there's something the fuck wrong with you.
Today. ARH.
So I went to see The Dark Knight for the 4th time today. It was just as amazing as the last 3 times. So once I got home around....3:00 I'll say? My mom went out somewhere && it was just me && my brother.
The creepiest thing ever happened. So then I got hungry && decided to have a tomato. I took 2 of them && put it in a bowl. At that very moment I dropped the bowl && the tomatoes went everywhere. So I picked the first one up....I wasn't able to find the second one.
I looked EVERYWHERE. Under the couch, around the couch, on the stairs, under the table, EVERYWHERE. My living room is really small so there inst much to look through anyway!!
I was pissed. I didn't know where my fucking tomato went. I had one. THAT ONE. && A few months back this happened to my brother except it was some cantaloupe slices.I have finally come to a conclusion.
Under the rug that covers the floor, there are tiny little gnomes who love to steel food to piss people off. They torture you when they're hungry && make you go a little insane. You wanna know what else they do? They run around with little knives saying 'WHY SO SERIOUS?!" Once they are tired of regular human food, they will go after flesh && blood. That is when the epic battle of massive proportions will begin amongst humans && tiny little gnomes who love to steel food to piss people off will begin. The humans will summon Barack Obama to fight for our will to survive in harmony while those little bastards summon Thumbelina. Thumbelina is no match for Barack Obama's awesome-ness so she'll explode in .4 seconds. Then the battle will be won.
Thankyou.
GAH. What's this "&&" thing? Is it really easier to hit shift then press whatever the fuck key makes an ampersand... What is it, eight? Oh, seven. Whatever. TYPE OUT THE WORD YOU TWAT.
Jesus Christ.
So anyways, I was watching Lazytown sometime ago on Noggin. Its a channel that plays baby shows like 24/7 or something like that. So lazytown....wow. There's this dude name SPORTACUS I think. && He tells kids to get up && run around. I have never ever seen this mother fucker walk like a normal person. He does backflips everywhere he goes. I thinks its kinda weird how there's a show on TV that tells kids to get up && exercise while they're eating bags of cheetos && sitting on their asses. Society today. >.<
What are you talking about? What was the point of that entire paragraph? I've read it five times now and I cannot find one goddamn reason for it to exist.
Next post.
Like a while back...
Stop. I-- I know I've been over this. Unless it's part of a simile, no likes. Please.
... I ran into an old friend named Jade. She was this really fucking awesome hxc metal chick. So we ran into each other in the city center && we celebrated our long awaited reunion by kicking the shit out of pigeons. I hate pigeons. I HATE them. If I was wearing my combat boots I would have stomped on them. UNNGGGG. *rips hair out*Stop it. Just stop. What's this star thing? Is that supposed to be what you're doing in real life? Cut that shit out.
The next two posts are from 4chan. I'm not going to copy them here, but needless to say they're shit, like everything on /b/.
OH MY GOD PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm dying. I cant sleep. ghhaaannn...
No one wishes that was the truth more than me right now.
I just read through July 12's post and I'm embarrassed to put it here. It feels like such a monumental waste of space.
So fuck it. I'm not going to do it. If you're so goddamned curious you can go look at the fucking thing yourself.
I failed 9th grade math so i have to take it again. FUCK.
What's that, algebra? Jesus Christ. Are all 9th graders like this? I don't remember being this fucking annoying.
Now there's a link to poetry. Oh, I'm sure that's top notch shit.
http://allpoetry.com/Zombina
I hesitated to remember that moment in September, When the sky was blank && the heretics were seemingly counterfeit. I reminisce the hours. Candles were lit && presents were open. She was being adorned with praise. The joyous cheers to a lady reformed.
Heretics were seemingly counterfeit. That's deep.
So i'm just sitting at my computer doing nothing but watching........stuff. && All of a sudden, my computer makes this loud engine noise thats scared the shit outta me! OMG!! It was insane!......It does that like every 15 minutes now. When I first heard it, i jumped out the fucking window man!! I thought my computer would like....turn into a Transformer or sumthing like that! Jeeze!!!
Probably BIOS beeping at you for downloading porn incorrectly. Try not being fifteen next time you try.
Today. Is. Caturday. So. Here. Is. a. Celebratory. Picture. Happy. Caturday. Peeps.
IT'S 2008. GET A NEW JOKE.
Also the reason that was funny was because ghouls posted pictures of cats. It was kind of funny that people who six days out of the week post pictures of what happens when a board gets sent through someone's head suddenly start posting images of kittens.
Fifteen year old girls, however, are supposed to like kittens, so it isn't funny when you say "Caturday lolcats the game lol." In a lot of ways, it seems like you're trying to syphon the humor for yourself. Which would be fine if these gags weren't OLDER THAN YOU ARE.
8. When my parents came home, they wanted me to do my essay.
Well, I dunno 'bout you, but I think its safe to day that Jesus wants me to burn. Jesus is LOLing at my pain. LOL. That statement was kinda funny....i gatta admit.
Post over.
I have a new idea that I think will go over big with everyone. No one under the age of 18 is allowed to use the internet.
Ah hell let's go crazy. No one under 18 is ALLOWED NEAR A COMPUTER, BECAUSE OTHERWISE YOU GET THIS SHIT.
This is seriously the worst blog I've ever read.
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