Oh Man

This blog is shit but I don't even care because for once in about 3 months I don't have to agree I'm 14 or older to read. I guess I had forgotten how awesomely annoying that is but it is nice to be treated like a human being for once.
Of course that said why you'd want to read this ghastly abomination begging for the release of death I have no idea but I've long since given up trying to explain this crap.
Don't let the purple background fool you (or the endless whining) I'm pretty sure this is a man.
I'm not sure why I think that, come to think of it.
... Let's find out, then.

Which comic book character would you like to see on the silver screen? Who would you cast to play the role?

Why all the comic book questions lately?
Oh well. Let me see if I can pull some more obscure comic book heroes from my ass like last time:
Hawk and Dove
Booster Gold
Blue Beetle
Green Arrow
I'm out.

I would love to see Nightwing or Booster Gold on the silver screen.

Oh Nightwing. Good one.
Hadn't thought of that one.
Oh I thought of three more:
Atom Man
The Shining Knight
Red Tornado
Seriously please help me I don't know how I know all this.
I also seem to recall that Nightwing was kind of the Kryptonian answer to Batman.
So he was supposed to be a mix of Superman and Batman which actually sounds like a really bad idea to me.

As for who should be cast as them, I am too unfamiliar with actors to even suggest one.

Booster Gold should definitely be played by a gay porn actor.

I'm selling doujinshi over at my sales journal, here.

Fandoms are as follows: Prince of Tennis, D.Gray-man, Tales of the Abyss, and Gundam Wing.

This is actually where my knowledge of all things begins to fall apart.
I know a doujinshi is a fan comic (which they sell. Somehow. Apparently copyright laws don't exist in Japan) and I was always under the impression they were pornographic in nature but maybe they aren't.
Quite why you'd admit to owning one if they are pornographic I don't know but if there's one thing I've learned it's that people have no shame.

What's the point? Why am I even trying?

The whole job thing's probably not going to work out even if I want it to. My dad clearly doesn't approve of my attempt to get said job, too. Mom just smiles and nods when I talk about trying to get that job, but that really doesn't mean much anymore. She rarely actually pays attention to what I say these days. I just feel like a freeloader when I'm at home.

Isn't it grand?

I put in over fifty job apps last summer, and I didn't receive a single callback. This is the first job offer I've ever had. It's the first time anyone's ever come up to me and asked, "Have you ever considered getting a job here? I need an assistant. You should submit a resume." I just want to help. Is that so bad?

I'm not even going to do the "what are you talking about?" thing. Start explaining yourself when you want to.
I mean I guess the implication is his (?) family is having financial troubles so he wants to help by getting a job but whenever I guess the sensible thing based on evidence presented I'm always dead wrong so I'm completely withholding my guess.

The "get straight As" thing is not going to work out, either, but not because of biology class; it's not going to work out because of my writing class. My writing class. I don't understand why I keep getting such horrible grades on my papers. All I can think of is that it's the assistant grading them, rather than the teacher who seemingly loves my writing style.

Oh yes it must be the assistant's fault and not that you suck at writing.

I just--I'm so upset about this because I have scholarships that fucking depend on straight As. They aren't worth much, but I do like receiving them. Every little bit of funding helps.

Try explaining that to them. I've seen Bs turn into As magically.

I feel sick because of my antibiotics--or maybe because of the three other new medicines they put me on when I went to the doctor earlier this week.

Did I tell you I've been leveling conjurer lately in FFXIV?
What a miserable job that is, Jesus Christ.
You'd think shooting lightning out of your hands like the fucking Emperor from Star Wars would be slightly more effective than punching things in the face but you'd also be dead fucking wrong.
I know Edie is only rank 17 conjurer and 47 pugilist so it's unfair to compare two radically different things but I'm pretty sure rank 17 pugilist is more efficient than rank 17 conjurer.
Fuck I might bet on rank 12 pugilist before rank 17 conjurer.

God, I don't even care. I'm just so tired all the time. I'm not happy unless I see Sarah or Lisa because they're really the only ones I ever see anymore, and they don't even live around here. I want to visit people, but I don't have the gas money. Hell, I'll probably shut my new cell phone off near the end of May just because I really can't afford it if I don't get a job soon.

I mean what do you have to do to damage shit as conjurer?
Cast a spell, wait until it casts, run the risk of it being resisted, rinse and repeat?
And I know you can miss as a melee, I mean, I'm not stupid-- but in the time you cast thunder (yeah the lightning spell is called thunder even though thunder is the sound) and have it resisted you can punch upwards of four times, each of which contain two to three punches, so even if three miss you've still hit nine times.
And the incredible thing is I know several madmen who have conjurer at rank 50.
There are exactly two mage jobs and somehow conjurer is the third best.
I guess thaumaturge stole conjurer's effectiveness because thaumaturge is so awesome it's basically as effective as two jobs.

Seriously, why do I even bother with life? I really just wonder what it would be like if I didn't exist at times. Would my parents be happier? Would my siblings and friends be happier? There would be more food to go around, one less person to take care of.

And the part that slays me is I said I'd take the remaining jobs to rank 20 so that means I have such award winners as conjurer, fisher and marauder to level back to back.
Maybe marauder won't be so bad if I invest in an axe with more than 70 accuracy.
Oh now here's a cut that says "maybe not for the squeamish" and maybe finally something interesting.

My shunt disagrees with Oklahoma's recent weather. Each time a front moves in and brings along the ever-dreaded concoction called snow, I can feel the building pressure in my head, and the busted blood vessels in my eyes and the erratic throb of my heartbeat in my ears are testaments to it. Not to mention that I've had pressure headaches like woah recently. Dislike.

Cool.

All of this constant pressure-relief crap going on with my head has been making me sleep more than I should. It has also caused me to put off all of my homework because I cannot stand to read for long periods of time, even with my reading glasses.

Oh man I wish I had that excuse when I was in college.
"Can't read, head may explode."
Instead it was "this is shit, not reading."
Graduating with honors.

My eyes just ache, and if I concentrate too hard on anything in my field of vision, blood vessels pop. I mean, I can clear that shit up with eye drops, but that effing stings.

I'm sorry did you just say you have a fix but you don't want to use the fix because it stings a little bit?
What are you, six?

Also, even if I suffered the constant abuse of fixing my horribly bloody-looking eyes, I don't think it's good for me to be constantly using eye drops. I'm fairly certain there are warnings against that. D:

Better not check in case this excuse doesn't hold up.

Aside from that, the pressure in my head is causing my neck muscles to retaliate around the shunt tube, tensing and knotting up until I literally cannot bend my neck. Mom had to give me a forty-five minute neck rub the other day just so that I could move my head.

Hey I've offered to rule before and in my rule we'd have vastly superior technology than we do now (including medical technology) it's just most people are way too squeamish to handle the steps we'd have to take to get there.

That is some massive BS. I hate winter, and I hate this shunt, even though it's technically the thing that is keeping me alive.

Because my vast knowledge and apparent precognition includes medicine I'll explain.
I'm guessing she's describing a peritoneovenous shunt which drains peritoneal fluid into the veins.

Regardless, that shunt causes me all sorts of problems, and oh god, when my muscles lock up around the tube, I can feel it slide against them under my skin. I can handle the sensation of nails on a chalkboard with no problem, but this sensation is something else entirely. It's like...

It's like a really long tube in your body.

Well, imagine that someone has a long, thin plastic tube. Now imagine that said plastic tube has been inserted into your skull, just under your scalp; it leaves a large lump on your head, too.

As long as it's used to plug into a neural interface this really doesn't bother me.

Imagine that it runs underneath your scalp, just a few mere inches back behind your temple, winding its way down back behind your ear where it slinks just under the skin of your neck, and think about how it is forced down and wound through your ribcage, and then inserted into your stomach.

OH I'M GOOD.

Now, imagine that if you tilt your head to the left, you feel the tubing under the skin of your neck tighten before releasing enough that you can, in fact, complete that action.

Sounds like faulty bionics to me.

I realize this sounds super melodramatic, but I'm not exaggerating. I pride myself on my tolerance for pain; it is very high. I can put up a front all I want, but when I am alone, I can shake and shiver, bite my lip, and cry while holding a position to get that damned tubing to loosen or contract.

Admittedly I've never had a shunt before but I somehow imagine I'd handle it a lot better than you.

Also, I made a deviantART account earlier this week. I've only uploaded my current favorites from my stock of art, but I have several pictures in the works. Dissidia seems to be my new fandom of choice for the art realm; Onion Knight is a particular favorite, it seems. I think it's because I enjoy drawing his hair. >_>

>_>
<_<
FUCK.

At any rate, if anyone is interested in seeing my doodles, you can look through them here.

Bet they suck~
let's see.
Eeeeeeeeh.
Here's his (her, its, whatever) drawing of Terra Branford of Final Fantasy VI fame.

Same subject from someone with talent.

Incidentally, Terra features in my favorite painting of all time, also by the same artist.

Also, it is one of the few anime series I have ever watched that is not afraid to kill off characters. That is one of the few things that really irks me about a lot of the mecha series I try to watch; everyone miraculously survives horrible ordeals that should take out a normal human.

Apparently you've never seen Gundam.
Which is funny because you said earlier you were a fan.
Oh but you did only mention Gundam Wing and Gundam SEED which are for 14 year old girls.

What's the point of me going off to school when I'm not even sure I will have a home to come back to?

My dad is really sick. My mom is always crying. My sister is as crazy as a loon. My brother barely talks to us anymore.

My foot is asleep.
I'd feel sympathy or whatever but frankly we've had this entry five times now.

I'm just tired of life. I feel like I've reached a dead end. Even with a degree in English Education,

Well that's why you feel hopeless. You majored in English education.
What are you, stupid?

Science Fiction by Women are my favorite classes

Women I know of who write science fiction:
1.
I guess Ursula Le Guin?
So Ursula Le Guin and--
Uhh--

Christmas is about warm feelings and happiness, not anger and angst and retarded-ness.

I'll inform Livejournal immediately.

I've been trying so hard to find gifts that everyone will like, despite my lack of funding. I've been drawing and sketching and coloring to the point where I've gained blisters on my hands at times; I'm fretting over people's reactions to what I'm drawing them, which is inadequate at best for such wonderful people; and no matter how hard I try, I can't coax a single, truly happy smile out of any of my family members.

Sounds like everyone is dying or hideously twisted by the crude bionics we have in 2011 so I'm not sure there's much to be happy about.

I am really tired, and I want to quit reading Puritan literature and visit a dreamland far, far away for just a small while.

God I love Puritan literature. The first and only time in my American Lit class I knew what the fuck was happening.
My extensive history of Warhammer gave me sufficient background for SINNERS IN THE HAND OF AN ANGRY GOD.
Children's literature (seriously).

Why do people even bother to ask for advice--or ask to talk, for that matter--when they are fully aware that what I will say will make them unhappy.

I suppose I am too blunt about certain things, yes,

So while she (he?) goes off about dumb boring bullshit I had the extreme misfortune of watching the new Lady Gaga video yesterday and while it was assuredly bad I couldn't help but notice she dressed exactly like my FFXIV character.
I'm not sure what to do with this information currently besides the obvious "time for an armor upgrade".
I was going to include pictures for comparison's sake but I don't want to admit to watching that video more than once so deal with it.

but I hate when people throw themselves pity parties. I do it at times, too, but then I just want to smack myself upside the head when I realize it. I HATE people that will not do something about their sadness, and I HATE people that ask for advice then plug their ears to what is given.

One thing I know is that Zeus hates two things more than anything: hubris and hypocrisy.
So I think I've put it off long enough. Time to grind some conjurer and upgrade some armor.
Only three more ranks until R20.
Fuck.

The Emperor knows, the Emperor is watching.

Spent the better part of the evening assassinating Guardians in RIFT. Truly, a waste of mankind's potential.
Anyway I think we have some kind of blog here today.
oh great new version of Blogger. So now instead of just having a handy box pop up it grays out my entire window and a different box pops up.
Makes sense to me~
Here's our WB for the day:

What's the worst thing you ever did to a partner during the course of a relationship? Did you ever move beyond it?

Cut her eyes out.

I've punched my boyfriend in the face a few times. I'm not proud of it. Yes, we've moved past it.

Sorry I just stole your thunder with my insanity.

I'm drinking some warm-ish grapefruit juice and it's not tasing so good. Tastes like there's a hint of alcohol in it and that's a disgusting taste to me right now.

... So stop drinking it?

Funny, because I used to drink grapefruit juice and gin a lot.

I have a memory in high school one night before school I mixed lots of gin and some grapefruit juice in a large dasani bottle and I put it in the freezer. I started drinking it on my way to school the next morning. The memory gets a little blurry here because this is not the only time I've been drunk at school and the episodes are getting mixed up.

Yeah I had a kid who claimed he had vodka mixed with his orange juice.
I called him a dumbass.
No actually I just pretended like I didn't hear it because I didn't want to wrest the drink from him and investigate further.
Fine, get drunk at 9 in the morning as a 9th grader.

The drunkest I've ever been at school all happened before lunch time. Was drinking and had a lot of fun in my first class. Then I get drunker during my second class and I'm unable to do work. I put my head down on the desk and idk If I'm sleep or not but I get that feeling in my stomach and jump up and run to the bathroom to puke, of course. I'm told I passed out in the bathroom. I Remember waking up in the nurses office with the school nurse all in my face asking me shit. My best friend and a couple of other people came to visit me in the nurses office. Then my stepmom came to get me and I left early.

Why are you telling me this story? You should be so ashamed of this episode that it goes to the grave.

One of my suite mates is indirectly interfering with my sex life.

She has an issue with my boyfriend being here a lot. She... seems lonely.

Threesome.
Uh-huh.

I mean, she's here a lot with no visitors. I want to get it in with my boyfriend. However when we have sex, it's not exactly quiet lol I'm a screamer lol (tmi?)

Great thanks for th-- WAIT NOW YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT TOO MUCH INFORMATION?
WHAT THE FUCK, LADY?

I'd rather do it when she's gone but she doesn't really leave. I don't want her to hear because I don't want to make her uncomfortable but geez... I guess I should just learn to keep it quiet, huh. lol

Ha-- ugh.

I'm going to ask my dad if Jeremy can come home with me for these few days. I'm sure he will say no because it may make the other people (non-family) in the house feel awkward since we are not married and they have 2 daughters that are young and ah, It's a complicated situation but mostly Jeremy just wouldn't have a place to sleep.

This is one of those rare blogs where I just let the words wash over me in grim satisfaction that the hits will keep on rolling.

The living room would not really work since it is a public area in the house and he can't stay in my room because my dad don't play that. LOL. I am pregnant, daddy.

SEE?
Holy shit, I didn't even read ahead. I just sat back and said "let this one ride" and bam.
Didn't she also imply she was drinking a few posts ago?
What's up, burden on the state?
How's that FAS monstrosity percolating in the alcohol swill you call amniotic fluid doing?

I also want to get some professional pictures taken with Jeremy, while I'm pregnant. I don't have money to spend like that BUT I was looking through that old coupon booklet I got during my McDonald's days and I get get 40% off a 5-pose picture packet. I'm so excited because Jeremy and I have no pictures together and I'm pregnant! I want to document it so I can give pictures to my family and whatnot. But, mostly I just want them for me.

>no money
>babies tend to cost a lot of money
>pissing away what money you do have on sentimentality
I can't believe my solution of taking babies like this and raising them in a monastery setting as elite soldiers was met with universal disgust.
OH WHAT, THE OTHER OPTION IS THIS?
We're always going to need soldiers. War is never going out of style.
My system ensures a new class of warrior for these blurring battle lines. The era of the uniform and the tank is passing us by and yet we cling to a bygone era.

Also... shit, I forgot what I was going to say.

No, I remember. Baby Shower.

Present your male children to the chapter at birth. Some are selected and removed, the rest remain.

I'm typing with one hand cuz the other hand is on my belly cuz the baby is moving! feels like it's thumping around inside, awww.

Sounds like fighting spirit to me.

Ughhh. My Sprint bill is like $300, I'm not trying to pay that. I want to switch to the local phone service (Cricket), it's only $45 a month! But... the phones are so ugly. I don't want to buy a new crappy phone that I don't like. I like my Android with sprint.

I've been reading this new Warhammer book called Sons of Dorn. It's pretty awesome. It's about these three bitter rivals who were all inducted into the Imperial Fists right before they were about to kill each other and how they handle having to be squadmates and enemies at the same time.
I prefer reading about the Imperial Fists and their progeny more than any other legion, I think.
Raven Guard are pretty cool, though.

How would you describe your ideal romantic partner in six words?

I already did it in five words you cunts.

Mature, Understanding, handsome, loving, well-endowed, rich

Well good luck with that, pregnant trash.
I can't even believe this. Try aiming in the stratosphere, Christ all mighty.

So, I'm pregnant.

It's been a while since I posted, lots has happened, obviously. Most important: I found a boyfriend that I love & that loves me. Now I'm 5 weeks pregnant.

Let's rush into something life altering.
I understand they sell these things called contraceptives. A little late now, I understand, but keep it in mind the next time you want to add to the already overburdened welfare system.

I... like drugs. I love them. I'm high on hydrocodone cough syrup right now and I want to take more and more and I want to lay down. I want to get more from the health center but, in addition to getting me high, it's also doing it's job and it's curing me of that god-awful cough. so what am I doing today? I'm gonna head back to the room, take a swig of syrup and sleep until ol dude calls me about smoking some weed. then I'm gonna smoke it, and I'm gonna enjoy it and...

I just want to point out this same person is now four months pregnant.
And it's not like "oh, this was six years ago and now she's grown up" NO THIS WAS FUCKING FIVE MONTHS AGO.

From Dr. Polidori's Lord Ruthven to Stephenie Meyer's Edward Cullen, the annals of vampire lore are filled with attractive, charming bloodsuckers. Which one would you most want to be bitten by?

All of them are sick aberrations begging for the release of death.
Wooo anyway it is bedtime.
Night my good faggots.

A what

Birthday cake. Sounds good? Well settle your ass down.
This cake is a two layer dutch chocolate cake. Still sounds good? Wait for it--
Homemade pineapple glaze and cream cheese frosting.
What the fuck is wrong with you people?
Anyway here we go. I found this blog through a baking group in case you couldn't tell.

As I sit here with chicken cooking in the oven (Oh, I know, right? A brilliant idea -- heating up the oven just to cook some chicken when it's currently 106 degrees Farenheit outside!)

Air conditioning? What's that?

Aside from the stress I get from work, I still manage to put myself up to receiving verbal abuse from my ex-boyfriend. To keep the story short, he hurt my feelings again over what I chose to study in college.

Seeing as how I skipped about five paragraphs of you bitching about the deli you work at, I'm guessing you chose not to major in anything marketable. Also why are you taking shit or, I don't know, talking to your ex-boyfriend at all? Is there a hidden meaning in "ex" I wasn't hitherto aware of?

Quite frankly, photography, which he has chosen to learn, is just as hard to work with as traditional art is.

Wait he majored in photography and he's giving you shit?
What a world~

Sorry. Photography takes the same basic principles as traditional art to build oneself some kind of foundation to stand on. Compared to my artwork, I take horrible pictures.

I'm really confused. You're butthurt he made fun of you and then you defend his decision by backing up his major? What's going on here, did I forget how arguing works or am I going crazy? (I seem to be asking that a lot lately).

I feel useless; however, when I walk into my work place.

SEMICOLONS~
Let's take a brief pause and deconstruct these little shits. So you've got a semicolon. What's it look like? Oh my goodness, it's a period stacked on top of a comma! I wonder if that's any indication of what it does?
Well fuck me, can a semicolon be used here? No, it can't. Why's that? Well let's figure it out!
"I feel useless." You can put a period after that, you can, so that must be an independent clause because it's a full motherfucking thought. It's got your subject, your verb and for shits and giggles it even has a direct-fucking-object.
"however, when I walk into my work place" is not an independent clause. I think. I'm not sure; it's not really a coherent thought (see how semicolons work you idiots?) We're about to get into some technical shit now so keep your eyes open.
So we have a preposition. "When". When something, something. So "when she walks into her work place". You now need something else because this is the motherfucking subject of your sentence. The entire thing. "When" is subordinating your clause. If you ditch "when" it becomes "I walk into my workplace" and you have a complete thought again. "When" she walks into her work place, what?
Let's take this into real speech:
"When I walk into my workplace," said the girl.
"... What?" said the other girl.
Holy shit, see how that works?
Let's revise her sentence, this time using only commas.
"I feel useless, however, when I walk into my workplace."
HOLY FUCK ME SUDDENLY A COHERENT THOUGHT OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE MAGIC!

Part of my personality demands I assert my independence and do everything in my power to get things done.

I hate it when people say "assert my independence". What the fuck does that even mean? "No, I'm just doing what I always do," would be my response. Why must you turn everything into some sort of last stand scenario?

Unfortunately, the people that work in the Service Deli were there before me and I am the newcomer. The low-life, the runt, the little up-start.

You're working at a service deli, calm down. You're not upstarting anything.

I must sarcastically apologize to the few customers that walked away from the counter due to my slowness.

You should apologize. I came here to buy some goddamn food and look how fucking long you're taking, then you're going to give me shit about it while I'm just waiting here?

The icing on the cake came around when I got settled at home after work. My father made some coleslaw and that's a food I cannot stand. I have never liked it. If I want bits of cabbage and carrots stuck in my teeth, I would eat a salad.

Well fuck your shit too.
Zoinks, here's a post I must be 18+ to view!
Well, fortunately--
Oh she drew a picture of her fucking someone. You're not very good at this anatomy thing for someone who majored in art. Oh man everyone has a thorax in this situation. Half bug people. This is disturbing me.

I'm a mess right now and I wish I had more time to actually talk about my feelings.

That's your problem. You talk about your feelings too much. Seriously name an emotion I've mentioned in this blog outside of "hate" or "pissed off at your shit"?

This was one of the first charchoal drawings done in the class. I'm always being told to mind my edges, to sharpend them so everything comes out a bit clear-er. Well, I was told all the time in ART101 to "omit the line. You've gotta omit the line!"

YOU GOTTA LEARN TO SPELL would be my advice.
Also this is why you're a bad artist. You don't want clear lines? Tell clear lines to go fuck themselves. If your art teacher (har har) tells you it's important, tell him he's a fucking hack and doesn't know shit about it.
Shit you do need to work on your colors. I've never seen an apple made of metal before.
Less white, more red.

Oftentimes, I log onto LiveJournal and stare at the empty post box, wanting to type out some angsty sob story so I can have some lame person come over and pat me on the back.

Sometimes I have to pause for a minute before I start to muster enough piss.

As I watch further into 花より団子

Whoa, what
Hana yori dango.
Flowers over dumplings--
I don't even know what the fuck

Last night, I finished watching the Japanese drama ぜったいかれし

"Zettai Kareshi" which means something like "Absolute Boyfriend" I'm guessing.
I just don't want her to think there's some language endeavor she's better at than me is all.

• おはよう、みんあ。元気？そうならいいですね～
• これは最初のentryだ。
• よろしく、ね。83

Oh my God.
Nope, not doing this.
Somehow she's even more annoying in Japanese than she is in English. I didn't think that was humanly possible and yet here we are.
Oh shit, that's it. I'm actually done! I read her whole fucking blog, fantastic.

Glad I Didn't Miss Anything

Whew didn't post Friday and apparently missed nothing.
Glad to see the internet can be just as stupid and boring on Monday as it can on Friday.
So today we have Defne Gencler. Is that a name? She says she's Turkish, so maybe!

We're all used to the same tedious and monotonous routine we follow each week, consisting of five work/school days, and two measley days left over to do what we'd actually like to do.

So says you. My life, however, is a continuous day off for the next month and a half or something like that.

Friday is barely considered anything, since half of it is made up of school, going home, and having only a few hours left over to do whatever it is you're planning on doing.

Well that's interesting logic. Friday doesn't count as a day because you can barely acknowledge the hours in it.

People don't even go out on Friday nights which usually ends up in you watching TV over the couch.

Uhhh I used to go out on Friday sometimes with my friends, and there we'd quite frequently encounter large crowds and have trouble parking because of people doing the same.
I guess they don't count because you personally don't go out Friday, huh?

Saturday seems like the only true day to have fun, because you don't have to wake up early, and on top of that, you dont have to go to sleep early either!

Oh you. Such a slave to the calendar.

In addition, we all know that Sunday is the global "I Guess I'll Start Doing my Homework Day."

Ha, ha such a high school kid. (protip: in college every day is homework day).
Also going based off the etymology of the days, Thursday is the superior day because it's named after either Thor or Zeus based off where you are.

Fridays will stay as Fridays because we can't have Thursdays be the new Fridays, which gives Mondays the perfect opportunity!

Monday under the Old English/Germanic system we are under in English speaking countries is the day of the moon, but in Romantic-speaking countries it's named after Mars (Ares) god of slaughter, so I think this is a bad idea.

Mondays will have a whole new meaning to them. From sluggish Monday morning traffic illand the smell of that "off to work" coffee, it'll become the day we've all been searching for: the day to relax, yet finish running last minute errands and homework.

Island* it hasn't been spelled "iland (eyland)" in like 2000 years, time to get with the program.
So we're now working 4 days a week. No, this is great. I see people. They think they're busy but in reality they're just busy with nonsense. If people knuckled down and did what they were supposed to do at work I bet we could have a one day work week. Most people just are not that fucking busy.

Who even came up with the idea that weekdays need to be five days and weekends need to be two days? Was it a workaholic man, was it the government, or maybe just a body of people who had nothing better to do?

I think it might have something to do with that damnable planting schedule. You remember farmers, right? Those people that grow your food?
Now there's a really long cryptic post about choices and making the right one and (maybe a quick dodge around) personal responsibility that suddenly makes me feel like I'm playing Persona 3 again.
WATCH OUT, DAPHNE (I'm changing your name to something I can remember, is that okay?) YOU'RE THE VESSEL OF NYX!

12:37 AM. The night is young. But here I am in bed trying to figure out what I need to do.

Actually the night is over. It's now morning as of 37 minutes ago, according to your posting.
Clocks, Daphne, come on. You seem to be fixed on them. Ever heard the saying "time flies"? No time to waste.
Timor mortis contrubat me, Daphne.

After having spent a night in watching a depressing French movie, I'm depressed.
People want so much from life at the same time. Ultimate fame. Success. Power. Money. All eyes on you. Looks that kill. Flashy cars. Complete control of surroundings. A voice that brings others to tears. Confidence. Friends. Admirers. High speed internet. Energy. And last, but, somehow most, "Somebody to love."

You fags need a lesson in Zen, good grief.

When we go to bed at night, we sleep alone.

Except a lot of married people. They tend to, you know, sleep with the other person. Unless you're speaking of the actual act of being asleep, in which case you are quite alone.
And remembering that sleep (Hypnos) is twin brother to death (Thanatos) that's kind of an (inadvertent, I'm sure) awesome cryptic nod to DYING ALONE AND UNREMEMBERED AH HA HA HA HA.

Lately I've learned that people are mostly just looking out for themselves. Everybody talks. You have to watch what you say, what you do, who you're with. If you want something, get it yourself.

You're almost there, Daphne. People are only looking out for themselves, but they're also only paying attention to themselves, so barring something really obvious you can pretty much say or do anything you please and no one will notice.

So now it's as if all my dreams of going to some prestigious university on the East coast have been ruined because I seem to fall just under the category of what's being looked for.

You're in California and you want to come here? No, no you've made it! You don't need to move anywhere!

But then I think about all those kids in America... They've all got private tutors visiting their houses every week; junior year is a major training for the SAT for them; the culture is aware of it and supports it.

Yes, those kids. I knew a lot of them.
Oh wait, no I didn't.
Daphne, are you sure you're talking about real people and not just imagined people?

So, today in English we were having a discussion about the lack of use of emotion in "One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich."
To be honest, I did not enjoy reading the book AT ALL. I found that it was plain, boring, dry, and most of all emotionless. What has life ever been without emotion?

Uh-oh. I think you missed the point.

And now I wonder, is that really the best way to do it?

I don't know for sure, and I'm not some sage brooder who has experienced everything in life, but I'm starting to see how emotions may get in the way of logical thinking.

Your "deep" philosophical quandry is actually answered by a pretty much shit action movie starring Christian Bale: Equilibrium. Go ahead and watch it.
I could describe what it's about but I think "action movie starring Christian Bale" probably says more about it than any description I could give.

Will Shukhov have gone insane agonizing about the loss of his wife, or sobbing hisself to sleep because he's piningfor the day of his release?

... That'll never come. It's an empty hope and he knows it, but it's all that he has, so that's why he's melting down.
Christ, do you really never think about anything you read?
Also "hisself" but I'll cut you some slack because I suspect you don't speak English as a first language.

I wonder what I'd do if I was in a prison for ages. Would I drive myself crazy crying? Or would I be forced to let go as well and think about everything I'm doing right at that moment? Hopefully it'll never have to happen.

Good Christ you people really don't know what to think, do you?

I mean, we're in our teenage years. The years were the most perceptive to our environment, how people interact, tensions surrounding us, and what's happening. These are also the years we're aware of that perceptiveness, so in return, we know that we're in the spotlight.

No, no, Daphne, thinking is not knowing.

High school is the time you find yourself, they always say. These are the best years of your life, they say. But are they really?

No. High school is only really good for the jocks and the guy that deals weed, remember that.

When I was on the phone with my friend, we made a list of all the pressures we have on us:

I bet all of these pressures are social constructs and you could just as easily not give a shit as you would worrying.

1. Get good grades, but dont be a nerd. (??????????????)

If getting good grades makes you a nerd I'd rather be a successful nerd than a loser cool guy (conflict of terms if you ask me).

2. Still look nice, but don't look like you're trying too hard. (???????????)

Must be a girl thing.
Oh my this list has 9 things in it that can easily be summarized by this:
OH NO SOCIETY HAS EXPECTATIONS OF ME I HAVE TO DO THINGS!
Now there's a long rambly post where she concludes that how people perceive you is how they will (get ready for a shock) treat you.
This goes on and on forever. Uh oh I started doing other things, time to end this entry~

Oh What Luck

I mentioned yesterday that I was waiting for my Warhammer Online invite. Well, I got it, but what I hadn't anticipated was what a monstrous piece of shit the torrent used to download the client would be.
So had the first blog I clicked on not been an award winner at the shit Olympics (right turn onto topical and timely street) there would not be an update today. My internet is that fucking clogged.
But you're reading this, SO WHAT FORTUNE.
Today's blog is entitled In The Rain, Noone Can See You Cry...
I always read the grammatical error "noone" as "noon". Also I see that more times than I can count. If this shit keeps up it'll just be a compound word, because I truly believe more people don't put the space than do.
It's like "snuck" or "struck" or, God forbid, "anyways". Fuck, Firefox spell check only caught one out of those three (snuck should still be sneaked, I guess). If you were keeping score, the right answers for those three is "sneaked" "stricken" and "anyway".
So here's the first post. I have no clue what she (?) is talking about. At all. At first I guessed a pregnancy, but then I'm thinking it has more to do with-- a trip? Who knows.

What did I bother getting ready for then?
I know I moaned but it wasn't my fault - I don't do last minute - anyone who knows me knows that.
But of course, he doesn't know me does he?
Has he even bothered to take the time to do that?
He knows how I feel. I've voiced my opinions about that before. So much for wanting a girl first, eh?
Well I tried, and now he's in a mood, being all stubborn as usual. I don't even want to go now if he's going to be like that. Being stuck in a car with him will be no fun at all.
I shouldn't even be going on this holiday, al this train business was his idea. Why he couldn't book online like everyone else I don't know. This is all so pathetic. I hate Sundays.
Worst. Summer. Ever.

Ah yes, must be a trip. I find that whole "worst. _____. Ever." thing to be totally played out. That was funny when the comic book guy in Simpsons did that in, what, 1993? It's fifteen years later. Time to get a new catch phrase, people.
Also at the bottom of every entry on LiveJournal and DeadJournal (and presumably other blog places too) you can leave a comment, but everyone is allowed to put their own text in for what a comment is called. Some people adhere to some kind of theme, like I've seen writers say "leave a critique" instead of "leave a comment". Well, this one is "Wanna fuck? Rape me." Which-- Jesus Christ take it easy.
At first I thought this was a poem, but it's a list of things. I found it very illuminating, and I'm now reminded of an earlier entry I made:

Things change so much, yet they also stay sadly the same.

I never learnt to drive.
I passed my exams.
I'm at Uni now.
Writing this.
Me and Jas are still together.
I think I finally got off of his back.
And we love eachother so effing much.
3 whole years.
I was such a fucktard.
A little fucked up kid.
But I'm okay now, I hope.
I haven't cut for years.
Jas made me better, he healed me.
All those wounds.
I wanna start writing here again, but this time I wanna talk about all the happy things in my life.
Not depress myself further.

My best friend is getting married, and she's very pregnant.
God things do change.
And hopefully for the best!

Love you Jas, always will.
Now you just have to marry me, hah.

A CUTTER. Also I was right about the pregnancy thing. Someone was indeed pregnant. AM I PSYCHIC? NO, JUST PAYING ATTENTION! (sorry, watching a lot of NBC lately).
The next post contains a lot of typos. Bad typos. Typos so bad the word "cry" has a forward slash in it, for some reason. Which, looking at my keyboard, c, r and y are all to the left or the center, and the forward slash is way the fuck over here above enter, so I don't know what kind of flipper hands you'd need to make a mistake like that.

All i doo lately is cr...And cry and c\ry...
it's not fair, I shouldn't be this upset...All I want is the usual stuff, a happy life, a lvoing boyfriend, a well paid job...

But I can't even have that...

If I coud do something different, otu of everything...It would be to stop myself from falling in love...Love, love isn't happy, and love most definately isn't great...I hate it...I hate love almost more than I hate myself, and my life...

Love is pain, there ae joys, but more pain than anythign else...

LOVE IS PAIN, MAN. Sounds like a Whitesnake greatest hit.
The next post is an overly long MSN conversation, but it was so boring and filled with trite bullshit my eyes almost rolled out of my head.
Another post that's too boring.
The next post is kind of interesting, I think:

Oh yeah, me and Ricky broke up March this year. He cheated on me for 2 months with a girl called Freya - she was supposed to be my best friend at the time.

Better take it easy, he was cheating with a Valkyrie. You're probably lucky to still be alive after that. Seriously I didn't know people named their kids names like that. That's like naming your kid "Zeus" or "Athena".
Also their MSN names are really long. Know what my name on MSN is? Tim.
Seriously, look at this:

There are times where I really do believe that he still loves me - and then there are times where I think he hates me too....

Responding to

Revenant - Thoughts without words

Jesus Christ those aren't titles those are sentences. REVENANT OooOOoooOOOooooOOOOOOooooo scary name.

I'm actually proud of that. Don't get me wrong, I have wanted to hurt myself, so many times. To split myself open and let out all the worries.

Yeah too bad.
This is five years' worth of posts, by the way. That's right-- this emo kid has subsisted like this for FIVE YEARS.
Jesus Christ cheer up.
I've said it before, but:
CUT DOWN ON THE MELODRAMA. Especially with the ellipsis. Some of her posts (I didn't mention any here, but they're there) had no punctuation except ellipsis. That is some serious drama.

Into the fires of battle, unto the anvil of war!

No, that's not the title of today's blog, unfortunately. I decided it was more interesting than the actual title, though: "All My Lies Give Me Pleasure".
Today's blog is located here: http://neeru-xoria.deadjournal.com/
First thing: I'm skipping the first two entries (July 26 and the one after it).
So immediately I have no idea what's going on. Apparently Sid (must be British, yeah?) had a baby.
Skipping some more posts that don't interest me at all, and we're on to June 6, 2008.

Man I have some good times looking at these jobs. There are posts that make me laugh and posts that are like what the hell....

For example, today I saw one that was like: Are you a hunter? Do you like sales? Work at our waste management company! LAWLS!

Oh, could that I would be so easily amused.

And Im sitting here like ....those things have nothing in common.

thatsthejoke.jpg

I also like the jobs that are completely not descriptive. Its like, WORK HERE =D and youre like....well where is here?...What is it that you want me to do?....And then you click it and theyre like, work here we'er awesome and give benifits =D Be cooooool come here! And youre still wondering what the hell is going on because they havent really told you ANYTHING.

No, indeed, I'm wondering why I'm gibbering like a moron. Let's go over the second person pronoun and its use. Ideally it wouldn't be used at all, but that has a rather academic tone for a blog. How I use it is (I hope) responsibly. The "you" is clearly directed at the person writing the blog (thus setting up what we call a "false dialogue" in the litfag world. Lends itself to comedy: that's why I tell the jokes, people) or framing it somewhere around the word "us", implying a camaraderie involving me and the audience.
So there's that. Then there's the use of "like". I'm sure I've gone over the actual use of "like", but just as a refresher: "like" never, ever prefaces the start of a quote.

My favorite ones though, are the completely misleading ones. The heading is something like, BIOLOGIST! So you click it, not that I have any interest in biology but just for giving you an outrageous example, pretend like I do. So you click and its like, duties: Answering the phone, faxing some shit, getting the mail and shoveling poop.

Yeah, that'd be an entry-level position. Someone with a biology degree might apply and work her way into bigger things involving actual biology.

Man, I dont know why it is that all men on the internet are the biggest pigs on the face of the earth but they really are. It seems like all the gentlemen, the few that there are on this earth just avoide the internet like a plague, which leaves room for all the sick pig headed shits that roam the yahoo chat rooms.

Civilized adults don't go to chat rooms. Also, anonymity+internet+opinions=asshole. It's just how it works.

I'm sitting in there tonight and theres these shits in there that are like, oh man, asian girls like to be raped. Rape is so funny, hahaha. You know what else is funny? Suicide, thats funny haha. I dont know why girls are always commiting suicide when bad things happen to them. Like, rape. Or breaking up. But suicide is so cowardly. People who commit suicide are stupid. Theyre wusses. And suck.

People like that really piss me off. But it pisses me off even more to see men doing that. How dare you. Do you honestly think ANY girl likes to be raped? Do you honestly think that suicide is fucking FUNNY? It makes me fucking sick.

Whoa, whoa easy, chief. It's the fucking internet. Stop taking it so seriously.

I always see those men in there. Acting like fucking pigs. Hey any sluts in here? Hey some bitch show me her tits on webcam? Why wont any girls fuck with me? How dare they say they have ANY pride at all. They shouldnt even be allowed balls. They should all be made eunuchs, every last fucking one of them.

So you show them how grown up you are by threatening castration. Veeeeeeeeeery mature.

Maybe I should just become a fucking nun. Either that or a full blown lesbian. So I can ignore all the men in the world who are fucking little shits. Im going to become a super femininist. And be like, fuck men. Youre all PIGS. HUGE DISGUSTING PIGS. You think youre so fucking funny, so fucking full of yourself. I hope a lot of mean things on them right now. I'd make a shitty Jesus because I want more than an eye for an eye.

What. I like the use of "full blown lesbian", as opposed to a regular lesbian, I suppose. This type of phrasing almost implies it's possible to be a woman fucking other women and not a lesbian. At all. Or if you do it really hard you're a SUPER LESBIAN. I guess what she's doing there is implying she's bisexual, which I'm pretty sure all girls on the internet claim to be. Either way, not fucking impressed. She seems rather confused, too, at who exactly she's supposed to be channeling these emotions. At first it's all men, then all men who are also shits, then all men again. I guess it's angry high schooler logic that I never understood.
The next two posts are major too long, didn't read, but she implies she's graduating college, not high school, which makes me wonder what the fuck she learned in college.

Yay no more finals. I am offically done with college classes.

Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesus Christ. Maybe she had a bullshit major that doesn't require work or thought or growth, but in the never-ending hell that is the education curriculum, she wouldn't have passed even an entry level class.

And I'm playing the 'My thesis is not due thursday' game. Yay for me.

I would pay whatever is in my wallet to read that. Thesis, to me, implies a major fucking paper. Either a masters thesis or doctoral thesis. Let's assume the best, in this case, and say it's a masters thesis. Even so, it's not something you just shit together a week before. It requires some time, research, and planning. Apparently whatever she cranked out passed through peer review, which is fucking incredible. Apparently American education standards have sunk that low.
Unless, and this would assume the impossible, she only types like a complete idiot on the internet, and off the internet can maintain the cantor of a civilized adult.

So I laugh, at the stupidity that is american children. Its sad and unfortunate that he did die, Im not trying to belittle the fact that a child died. Im merely pointing out how little intellegence children have these days.

I-- hey, that's what I just got through saying about you! Also nice cop-out on the "I'M LAUGHING BUT IT'S OKAY BECAUSE I STILL FEEL BAD HE DIED." Way to be a cunt. If you're going to be an internet tough guy, here's how you do it: fuck him and fuck his family. I'm glad the shit's dead: one less asshole polluting my planet.
There. That's how you fucking do it.

I dont know why I was possessed to be a double major XD it seemed like a good idea at the time, but Im worried I am not good enough to get an A on this paper, which is what I really want. Its like, Im writing and writing on it and Im to this point and Im all, what the hell am I writing, I dont even know what point Im trying to make by telling you this?

Double. Fuck. Major. The college I attend, that is, one with a tenured faculty and a rigorous curriculum that isn't a diploma mill, you have to be approved for a double major. Based off the standard of writing I've seen thus far, she wouldn't have been accepted, let alone for a double major.

I have no idea how long the thesis statement is suppose to be Im turning in tomorrow. On the sheet it says a paragraph, but Katie said Metraux said a page. Whoo for having no idea whats going on =D! Mine is like...1/4 a page, maybe half a page if I double space my name XD Plus I havent really done enough research to support what Im saying. So it should be fun. (I dont even know why professors would want to read thesis papers anyway, I could imagin if I had to read them all. I would be like, in the crazy house)

It's a page. Come on. I could have written it in five minutes. I understand you're not exactly smart, or even of menial intelligence, but Jesus fuck show some guts.
So to keep this one short: punctuation. Use some.
Try to sound like someone who just graduated college, please. I understand it isn't school and you are on the internet, but that's no excuse.
That would sum it up, I guess. For the record, I have literally read the thoughts of 8th graders that are more mature than some of the paradigms you've set up. Whatever you spent (or whatever your parents, or the government spent) for you to go to college would have better served building a road. Or a bridge. Or fuck, just throwing it off said bridge. I know people who never had the chance to attend college at all, so I consider it a privilege.
Maybe that sort of thinking is why I don't type like that.