DENY THE WITCH

Got that new X-COM game.
Sure like getting yelled at every five seconds about blowing up the aliens.
CAN'T SALVAGE ARTIFACTS IF YOU KEEP DESTROYING THE BODY.
Well I don't think WE FUCKING NEED ARTIFACTS IF THEY'RE PUNKED OUT BY ROCKET TUBES.
Oh right. AnywayS.

It figures that the boy I'm dating is turned on by nerdery. Seriously, every time I mentioned I wanted to go see the new Trek movie he kisses me. And then he looks on my bookshelf and finds H2G2 and Firefly and I get THE BIGGEST HUG EVER.

In other news I AM RIDICULOUSLY HAPPY.

I know this is ancient history by blogging standards but it's really bad so I figure why not.
It's not like this blog has a purpose anymore so whatever fuck it you people will read it anyway.

I AM KIND OF DATING AND STUFF WITH THIS AMAZING GUY.

ERGH I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO.

Hit the caps lock key first.

I'M KIND OF AT THE POINT RIGHT NOW OF GOING "I LOVE YOU, OFFICE FURNITURE/STAMP/COMPUTER SCREEN" BECAUSE REALLY, I AM FULL OF LOVE AND HUGS AND WANT HIM TO BE MY BOYFRIEND.

THAT IS ALL. 

It's like 3/18ths of one inch to not look like a dipshit.
Honest to God.

Today my evil coworkers, who didn't even stop conversation when I fell flat on my face in front of them, have all taken the day off. They are all conservative. I declare victory.

Also my project on fat activism/fat biopolitics might be shown at this film festival for my minor, and all the people in my class want to take part in it. Now I actually have to write, film and edit the damn thing. But yay I is popular.

Also, WE HAVE PRESIDENT OBAMA! 

Fat bipolitics?
Nope.
Don't even want to know what the fuck that means.

I get the feeling that my current guy is feeding me lines.

We were supposed to hang out this afternoon; 3 hours later and I had heard nothing. I had sent him text messages and there was no response. I go online, he's not on. I try to do some reading, he's back on, but signs off. He signs back on again to tell me he's not feeling well, it hurts even to sleep and he can't come over. 

I really care about your dating woes.
Wait I'm not allowed to use lines like that because I really did this to myself.
No one is reading 4 year old blog posts except me.

I thought it was sweet and slightly anemic when he was first chatting, but seriously, does anyone say things like this when they're not the star of a made-for-tv-movie? Isn't this the textbook "How to get in sensitive girl's pants 101"? I'm so alone, I wish someone would help me, blah blah blah. And worse, his "deep thoughts" remind me of my ex-friends, where he'd say things to get a reaction from people, who was otherwise totally self-absorbed, and whose life crises meant the end of the world. That's not a good comparison to be floating through my head. 

... Dump him?
Why is this an issue?

I think he's trying to reel me in with fake deepness, and he's covering up something going on for 3 hours. He trolls extensively through my Facebook profile, I know, and that's giving me signs that something is wrong. He laughs at guys on TV who make sure that their partners are sure they want to have sex because "oh my god, you will turn down makeup desperation sex?" His feminism seems regurgitated, aka my post on "I deplore the state of the prison system"--I'm the only one to bring up feminist thought even when it's blatantly obvious or sexist, and then he'll only nod and blandly agree. Something's not right with him. I hope to god he doesn't turn out to be an emotional abuser like ex-friend, because this smells like the beginnings of an emotional roller-coaster.

At least he can cover for himself better than the last one, who forced me into near-nervous-breakdown and had nothing to say but demanded my time. It'll be hard to deal with a smart one. 

DUMP HIM?
His feminism seems regurgitated but I am completely incapable of standing up for myself.
He's the Lifetime Movie character?
You're the Lifetime Movie character. Stop projecting.
Also: do you ever shut the fuck up? I feel like I have to type more to pad out my own commentary so it doesn't seem like the me to you ration is 10:1.

I would never have imagined the words "I deplore the state of the prison system" coming out of the mouths of anyone not giving a stump speech, but I heard it straight out of the mouth of the guy I'm seeing last night. I think I'm either going to be swooning or checking his pockets for notecards saying "how to impress a feminist". 

STRONG EMPOWERED WOMYN.
See radical feminists like to take the "man" out of "woman" so they added a y.
I swear I didn't make this up.

So, I've been reading about the Amanda Marcotte/BlackFemiPower dustup and it's got me pissed. I have written off Pandagon from my list of blogs I visit (though the sole WOC blogger there still has my readership at her own place) and decided to read predominantly anti-racist and WOC feminist blogs. So far I've only made it to The Angry Black Woman, Diary of an Anxious Black Woman and Fetch Me My Axe. 

What must it be like to have this much free time?
Between teaching school and protecting earth from vile xenos I have only enough spare time to save the world from shitty blogs.
I'm basically a living saint is what I'm trying to say.
Kneel before me and be saved, as unworthy as ye art.

I'm tired of this. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of being less than I am. I'm tired of not taking risks. I'm tired of being on the outside looking in. I'm most tired of living for other people.

I'm so tired of being alone,
I'm so tired of on-my-own,
won't you help me, girl,
just as soon as you can.
People say that I've found a way,
to make you say,
that you love me.
But baby,
you didn't go for that,
me, it's a natural fact,
that I wanna come back,
show me where it's at, baby.

I hate boys.

So I dated the boy I made out with last semester over the internet most of the summer. You know, get a little steamy fun in while you've got nothing to do. The best part is he's madly in love with me. As in he uses "I love you" as a conversation starter. So what do I do with all this heady power?

Abuse it, of course. I broke up with him twice. 

>Break up with him twice
>it's his fault though!
WHITE WOMEN.

 Once on pretext, another because I found out he lied to me about how far he had gone, which made me feel a fool for all the "would your last girlfriend let you do this?" conversation during makeouts. And of course when you're usisng someone purely for phsyical pleasure full integrity must be maintained.

Then, two weeks ago, I'm missing him and the dirty things he'd say. I get him to get back to saying such things with a little lying and coertion. Then, right when I'm telling him, at his insistence, a few dirty thoughts of mine, he says, "I think we should get serious with other people."

FUCKER. I am the cute one in the relationship; how dare *he* break up with *me*! And at the freaking worst possible time, too. 

I just gotta say listening to Al Green makes this blog slightly more tolerable than it is.
Mostly because I can just copy this bullshit and pretend to play the bass while not reading it.

I had to meet with my professor yesterday about my grade on it, and he said that he gave me an 18 out of 20 because "nobody can be perfect." His critizisms were things like tersing up what I write and using clearer language.

You, having a problem with terse language?
SURELY NO.
Oh thank fuck I hit the start of this blog.
Jesus Christ.
Anyway time to kill aliens.
No rest for the wicked.

Oh God What

Almost forgot my Friday update. NEARLY A DISASTER.
So here we have-- something.
I'm not really sure what you call this blog besides "crap". It's kind of generic and bleeeeeeeeeeeh.

If you could book a trip to the moon for $10,000, would you save up your cash and go? Why or why not?

No, what? We should be living on the moon by now. 10,000 bucks to visit, huh.

Why the fuck would I care about the moon?

Watch your fucking mouth, peasant. That's the future of man up there.

Now, if it were 10k for a ticket down to the deep sea, you would have my interest....

The sea, really?
Whatever.
Now here's a fanfiction about "the Disney multiverse" which if she thinks I'm reading she has another thing coming--

Seriously the bible is full of fucked up cracky awesome shit like this. Why don't we ever learn THAT when we get exposed to Christianity? Why does everyone not show off the cool wacky shit? Why is it always 'EVERYONE IS BAD' and shit like that? Damn it.

That is the interesting part, you twit.
Also no one bothers to read the Bible. Did you know there's a part where a prophet turns someone into dust? Then later Jesus responds it's not that kind of prophet you have to worry about but the kind that can burn your soul is the kind to be concerned about?
Basically everything you can do as a thaumaturge in FFXIV times a million is what was bopping around Judecca in Jesus' day.

Oh, and this brings me to another point: in my universe, Lottie goes to Tia's Baptist church.

Great, no idea what that means.

Tomorrow I'm going to:

- Wake up at nine at latest
- Condition my hair

Tomorrow: not up before noon.
Fuck yeah, spring break.

I'm going to go write now, hopefully get something of worth out. I'm very lonely lately, which mystifies me because since coming here I'm all of a sudden a woobity mess. I want to cling to people but I'm having a lot more anxiety. Goddamnit. What the hell is wrong with me. I'm an adult, I should not need to cling to someone's apron strings like a goddamned toddler.

You need a man to put you in your place.
Sorry I'm just being sexist for no reason.
Every once in a while I like to say something like that in the off chance I've gained a reader and so I do that to scare them off.

Took some more self-portraits to try and make a twitter icon.

Wow you're ugly.
Heh, nice one, me.

I've realised I've stopped really being interested in blogs or webcomics or writing about my day, since coming up here. Also I'm tired a lot more but I think that's all the different things I've been doing, and the fact that I'm still not very good at feeding myself.

It is hard to feed yourself. I mean it took me what, three years to master that skill?

Still feel like shit. No one will like me, I am too negative and bitter about being destitute. It's stupid and I ought not complain but I open my mouth and it just comes out because there's nothing else I can think to talk about. And I feel like a nerd for talking about my writing, because oh god you guys it sounds so lame in the real world. I am not even cool on the internet. :(

AUGH I SUCK I SUCK I SUCK

Neat.
Blogs should contain more meltdowns like this. They might be halfway interesting--
actually, come to think of it, I had to wade through a lot of horseshit for this.
Never mind.

Went to a speakeasy last night.

Son of a bitch that's my goal in life. To open a speakeasy. But alcohol is legal here so I have to wait until it's illegal again.
What, you can't just do this shit half-assed, you know. Open a speakeasy with legal booze, huh.

Saw a real stripper (like, she actually stripped down, it was lovely--also she was really beautiful and sexy); rope/sash performer; fire eater/dancer; and a burlesque butterfly dancer (also so pretty).

Burlesque butterfly dancer-- anyone play Dynasty Warriors? There's that one character Zhang He who is really flamboyant and a butterfly appears behind him when you do his musou attack and he strikes this gay pose?
Man I play some weird shit.
Of course the fucked up part is people consider him an offensive stereotype and yet he kills like 5000 people with fucking steel talons. OHHHH BUT HE ACTS SO MINCING!
SO WHAT HE JUST SLAUGHTERED AN ENTIRE DIVISION.
Guy does that he can act however the fuck he wants as far as I'm concerned.
I'd like to see you pussies siege Jiangling for months while suffering from a plague.

I often forget that I'm not 100% androphilic.

Oh boy, words.
This one is easy.
Andro- meaning man (referring to humans, not males specifically)
-philic, meaning love for
loving humans.

It's just that the lady-shaped body type that clicks the right switch is hard to find in this day and age.

Yes I know exactly what you mean.
I think. I better not agree with you on the grounds that later statements you make may incriminate me.

But when that butterfly came out on stage, I had that moment of 'Oh yeah, I'm not all-gay'.

See?
Also I'm not even going to ask what genders everyone involved was because I guarantee the answer is long, stupid and boring.

And the stripper was--creamy. Mmm. She was creamy and dreamy.

Headache.
So here's a hypothetical for you: if you're flirting with a girl and she pats you on the leg she definitely wants to fuck, right?
Man, me and the brown girls. I'm 2/2 this week.
As Zhuge Liang said I MUST USE THIS MOMEEEEENTUUUUM (increasingly obscure reference)

I tasted a lot of cocktails, but never actually got one (didn't really want one, I don't drink in public).

>I don't drink in public
>I tasted a lot of cocktails (heh, cocktails)
welp.

I did have a heavenly crepe that tasted like I was eating a rainbow*. It was amazing.

So assuming I do ask one or both brown girls out do I tell them I'm a huge nerd who paints toy figures immediately or do I wait?

Oh Maman, I love you but the Devil's Advocate thing is sometimes a bother.

Got off the phone with her and she was like, 'well just don't forget to be looking for jobs.' Yes, Mum, I got this, don't worry. I don't want to have to ever go back to the south again, not now that I've tasted the creamy essence of the city (yes, I do want you interpret that as sexually as possible).

>creamy essence
>sexually as possible
eeeeeeeew
creamy phlegm is all I can think of for some reason
KEEP YOUR SHIT AWAY FROM ME, WOMAN.

Nekochan has three issues of Ouran High School Host Club, which I cracked open for a lark. I tried to read it years ago, when it first came out, and was not in a place to handle the genderqueer Haruhi, as I'd just come out and was still under the stupid impression that being transgendered meant you had to adhere ever more tightly to the gender binary.

I'm suddenly reminded of a class I took called, what was it, "themes in literature" which I was told would revolve around Native American writing.
"Neat," thought I, "maybe it'll cover what various Native American groups think about mythological matters and such like," ho, ho, ho, me. It was around the time I was reading poems written by a "gender queer" author and I was told I had to refer to this individual with the fictitious pronouns "hir" and "ze" that I started to wonder what, in the words of Homer, "vow unfilled or hecatomb unpaid to anger the god."
Now here's a post entitled "18 Things about Evan Rosier" which I hope number one is "who the fuck is Evan Rosier?" or else I'm going to be really lost.

First off, the things you already know (which don't count toward the 18):

- Evan, along with his father, is a Death Eater.

Oh.
What?

The elder Rosier was in Voldemort's year and dorm at Hogwarts, making him one of the four earliest Death Eaters.

Ah.
Makes sense to me~

The Rosiers have a family trait of heavy-lidded eyes (think Bette Davis or Robert Mitchum)

Oh finally something that does make sense to me.
Has anyone seen The Wrath of God, incidentally? Holy fuck that movie was awesome.

- Obviously, they are purebloods. They are also related to the Blacks by marriage.

Errr-- racist?

- It's likely that Rosier and possibly Evan were not among those who looked for Voldemort. I have my own reasons for this, that have little to do with disloyalty.

Ah that's good. At least they're not disloyal to Voldemort and they're Death Eaters and have

pureblood-- I have no clue what the fuck is going on.
- Evan is canonically dead--Moody killed him and Wilkes while trying to apprehend them. He was the one who took a chunk out of Moody's nose.

Of these facts I only had to discard the fifth one.

WELL GOOD-BYE FACT 5!

1. Rosier isn't his real name--the Rosiers changed their surname from Rosenbaum to Rosier around 1790, because it was more fashionable to be French.

>Jews
>pureblooded
Well at least you're not Hitler, huh.

Rosier is of Russian-Jewish descent. His family went Reform, but remained nonetheless devout in their beliefs, even if they adapted to the gentiles in terms of appearance and diet. However, unlike his parents, Evan is kosher, wears a prayer shawl and a yarmulke and goes to synagogue every week and during holidays

So I bothered to Google Voldemort and apparently this shit is all from Harry Potter.
It's kind of hard to imagine faith in any religion surviving BEING A FUCKING SORCERER.

Evan and Roddy Lestrange have an interesting relationship, as both believe in the same God, and are the only Judeo-Christian members of the Death Eaters.

Hard to imagine a group called the "Death Eaters" being a faithful group.

How would you describe your perfect home in ten words or less?

I can do it in one word: Baroque.
Her response took a few more:

Mellifluous, wonderland-bohemian décor in a small Victorian cottage, with garden.

Great, thank you for that.
Now here's a really motivating quote:

“An optimist is the human personification of spring.” — Susan J. Bissonette

I prefer the quote "a pessimist is an optimist with experience" myself or perhaps "a pessimist is never disappointed."
How the fuck have I been reading this blog for 2 hours and I'm less than a month back?

I've been reading up on Maria Montessori, which makes me even more determined to send my kid to a Montessori school until high school, and to go back to the Montessori method, myself. One of my endless anxieties is my bad school transcript, and the fact that my 'resume' for school makes me look as stupid as a brick (my last GPA was 0.8, I have no other GPA despite that one being from sophomore year).

Your hypothetical kid that doesn't exist, right?
RIGHT?
Holy shit.
Anyway I'm going to bed now, fuck this noise.
Also I'm retroactively dating this so it looks like I posted this Friday--

Let's lose our eyesight!

So it's one of those blogs.
Let's discuss this choice of layout, shall we?
What the fuck has to be the matter with you for this to be your number one choice?
My hypothesis is she's actually some form of blind and this is the only way she can actually see text. I knew a girl like that where she had this crazy computer that put shit in these weird color contrast and she could see it that way.
Or she's a dumb twat who never actually looks at what she writes. I'm guessing that's probably it.

I cant understand the guy who gives me lifts to work.

Me neither.
Wait, I drive myself to work.

Firstly he loves !!!!!!!!!!!s so you can never tell if hes angry cos he uses them all the time.

I find something really funny about someone knit-picking grammar while spelling "because" with three letters.

Secondly he says haha in messages quite a lot even when what hes said isn't really funny.

Thirdly I offered to pay him more money for lifts and he said it was ok. This is someone saving for going travelling who is sposed to be skint.

What the fuck was that last thing you said?

skint/skint/

Adjective: (of a person) Having little or no money available: "I'm a bit skint just now".

Oh.
Oh.
Well clearly he wants to fuck you.
I have no idea why but love is-- what, blind or something.

And finally, I insulted him and he still gave me a lift to work this morning.

Oh, he's a pussy.

Or maybe he didn't take offense?
This story sucks.

He was very quiet on the way there. (he doesn't usually say much generally but was extra quiet) and he was back to normal on the way home. : S

I'm confused.............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You need a good kick in the cunt.
Just a swift shot right to the ovaries.

What is the most beautiful destination in your city?

WORLD'S LARGEST CHEST OF DRAWERS.

Unfortunately I don't live in a city so I'd have to say the best destination in the town that I live is the beach.

>unfortunately I don't live in the city
>I guess it's the beach
Holy shit. You don't need any of that other information. MOST BEAUTIFUL LOCATION? THE BEACH.
YOU ARE A TWAT.

Its only minutes away from my house.

WITHIN WALKING DISTANCE OF THE BEACH BUT UNFORTUNATELY NO CITY.

Having one of those days. Everythings going fine and then someone has to spoil it.

Updating a spreadsheet for a few thousand shops at work. fun!

I'm having a lot of trouble feeling sympathy for you if that's the pinnacle of your problems in life.

It was when I got home that it all went wrong. My mum made a ridiculous and unnecessary comment and when I didn't appreciate it accused me of picking on her!!!! You have to know my mum to understand the logic. : S

I give up.

I'm currently studying a creative writing course with the Writers Bureau. It took a bit of time to get it all set up and sorted but now I'm hopefully on my way to becoming an author.
I've always wanted to be an author and this seems to be the best way for me to start by learning all the tricks of the trade.

Wooooooooow.
I'd love to see what you write.
I'm sure it's really good.

I haven't been on this thing for ages!

>posted: October 12, 2004
How in the fuck does this even happen? Who updates twice a year for seven years? Just forget the fucking thing, Christ.

I was after peoples philosophy on love and guys and whether I will ever find love as I've been on my own for all my life, never having a single boyfriend.

I have a very sophisticated philosophy in this subject but it doesn't extend to women.
Wrote it for myself, you know.

What if you're shy? Nobody seems to want to know. How do I get over being shy and find myself a decent guy.

Hey girl, move a little closer
you're
too shy, too shy
hush hush
eye to eye

There's a friend of mine, sometimes he's a real dickhead others he's really sweet.

Modern medicine falls short of your complaints
ooooo try a little harder
you're moving in circles won't you dilate?
Oooo baby try
hey girl
move a little closer
'cause you're
too shy too shy
hush hush
eye to eye
Sorry you were saying something?

I'm confused. I'm going to stop rambling now as you'll be thinking, "shut the fuck up and get a life you sad bitch."

Actually that was pretty close to what I was thinking, yes.
Only replace "sad bitch" with "dumb cunt".

Well maybe not so harsh but I'll stop now and move on to other things.

Actually it was a little harsher, if I do say so.

Is there a song that you really like that has a message that really applies to you? At the moment the song I really love is Truly Madly Deeply by Savage Garden.

>like
>Savage Garden

If I want a picture in my entry that isn't the default one, how do I do it?

You Google it you stupid cunt.

2day was gr8 cos in Maths me and Suzanne won the quiz and shared a box of Maltesers.

I'm saving this blog for later. Any time I encounter a British person who acts all snooty like they're smarter than Americans I'm linking them this.
You're just as fucking stupid, England. Come off it.

Well today has been very tedious as I went to college this morning and then had to come home because of a splitting headache.
I missed my favorite lesson, Classics.

Sounds very zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

For anyone who doesnt know, Classics is where you learn all about Ancient Greeks and Romans and basically just stuff like that.

Oh is that what "classics" mean? Thank you for this.
Whoa holy shit just wandered off for about 4 hours.
Welp, time to close another winning entry~

Small Steps Corrupt

I find today's writer's block "what is your favorite mythological character or creature" by Herasrevenge somewhat self-serving. HERA'S REVENGE? MYTHOLOGICAL FIGURES? HMMMM?
Hera, for those of you woefully ignorant of the one true religion is the queen of the gods and wife and sister of Zeus.
Hey they were around when there were like five things in all of creation so it's not like they had many choices for a spouse.
I was on the look out for the one tool factory (Victorgraywolf probably) who was going to do that edgy thing and say JESUS, MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN but Livejournal never fails to disappoint and I couldn't find that guy in the first three pages so FUCK IT HERE WE ARE.
Her (his?) response:

The phoenix. It's my symbol of hope that someday I will be able to rise from the ashes of all of my problems to be reborn as good as new.

:|

Well, I have to say things have completely and totally changed for me! First off, I am totally over J at this point. In fact, since my last post, I now have a BOYFRIEND!!!!! *happydanceofsqueeingjoy*

Oh good it's more of this.

The weirdest part about it: he's actually J's best friend since middle school. I know it looks bad, but we had been hanging out, just the two of us, a couple of times, and we were talking all the time online. Then, one day he asked me what I would say if he were to ever ask me out.

Oh don't care.

Next week will officially be a month, so I'm hoping we can go out on that day or maybe even make him dinner or something like that. Most of our "dates" are really just us hanging around each other's houses, but the time feels just as special as if he took me out for a night on the town.
Wow one entire month.

That's like, pffft, 30 whole days!

Well, I'm back on talking terms with J, and things are a bit awkward for me. See, he's planning on moving in with the girlfriend, who I still insist he barely knows, very soon. He doesn't have a job for sure out there, nor does he know what school he's going to be going to.

You're in college?
Really?
This is high school psychology.

Let's see what else...OH! I've officially decided I have to drop ALL of my classes this semester instead of just two due to health problems, so finding guys that way is completely out...Yes, that's all I've been focusing on right now b/c health-wise things aren't doing so well and I need an escape.

Oh good it's more of this. Have I reviewed this blog before?

Okay, I couldn't resist answering this one! I'm very much a realist. I know things aren't made out of silver and gold and unicorns and rainbows, but they're not total crap either.

>you
>realist
>you've "squee"ed before
NO STOP FUCK IT.
Actually "fuck it" indeed because I have SHIT TO DO IN THE MORNING.

Wooooooooooow

I found this blog not via writer's block but instead by a group. That group is WOMEN GAMERS.
DON'T HIT ON ME SILLY BOYS.
Also it's that typical thing where you have to agree you're 14 to even get into the blog and then that you're 14 to read each entry. Gentlemen, we are in flavor country.
Her post on GRRRRRRRL GAMERS went a little something like this:

A couple of years ago I got a DS and along with my typical Mario/Zelda/Pokemon choices I thought I should pick up Harvest Moon DS since I loved the Game Boy games!

Big mistake. I HATED it. Haaaaate. There are so many things to do,

>hate this game
>too much to do
What the fuck?

what with dating, mining, finding the Harvest Sprites...not to mention, you know, farming.

I FEEL LIKE I'M LITERALLY RUNNING A FARM.
Here's a revolutionary idea: how about you budget your time?
Get mad cash mining, then all the bitches will crowd to you because you have mad muscles and money.
Easy.

I now have a Wii, and I see that there are also more games for the DS. So I'm wondering if anyone else has played any of these games and has any recommendations, based on my opinion of the first DS game? I really would like to see a newer game in the series that I enjoy playing.

Get Etrian Odyssey III and get mauled by a giant sabertooth tiger you dumb cunt.

I've got a serious case of the winter break/end of the year/missing boyfriend blues. It just hit me this past hour like a ton of bricks.

But you got vidya gayms.
Starting to feel blue?
WHAT'S UP, PS-TRIPLE?

I want to go curl up and cry for no reason at all, and I'm pretty sure I'm not hormonal. It's too dark and cold in this house. I need someone who is not my parents to come here and cheer me up. I need a snuggle like nobody's business.

Well it is true you can't snuggle up to COLD STEEL that you are encased in in Etrian Odyssey III but at least you have hard-fought victories against the enemies of man and the encroaching wilderness.

I still have a whole week here. :[

It is a story I have seen played out dozens of times but I never tire of: enter with nothing but a knife and your wits and EMERGE HAVING TAMED THE WILDERNESS. TRULY YOU ARE NO MAN'S SLAVE NOW.

HEYYY CHRISTMAS was cool.

All I asked for was a Wii (specifically the red one, because I'd been wanting a Wii for a while and then they came out with the red one and I was like DUDE GET ME THAT ONE), which I got. Her name is Ginger.

That's interesting. I named my computer Grimaldus.

BUT she also got me FIVE POUNDS OF WOOL for spinning. FIVE POUNDS.

:V
If only you were in FFXIV. I'd have a deal for you.
Of course like all deals I make in FFXIV the only person who benefits is ultimately me, but such is life.

I'm really excited to get back though. I miss my friends, I miss having a room with doors. I miss Pokemon and Doctor Who all day every day.

ALL DAY ERREDAY
Come, let us battle. Everything I need to know about a person can be discerned by the way they battle Pokemon.

It's summer!
- Working for my mother, supposed to be doing 20hrs/week but it's more like 9 because i'm lazy!
- knitting things
- spinning yarns

Ah yes, the top down monopoly I've grown so fond of in FFXIV. Who needs these idiots when I can make and repair all my own equipment?
No more am I slave to the capricious whims of the market wards.
Unless I need buffalo hide in which case I am.
But otherwise in-house production.

- thinking a lot about girls
- thinking a lot about boys

HEH HEH HEH.

- raising my pokemanz, trying to beat the pokemon league champion

YOU ARE WEAK.
Here's her book collection. Lots of animu.
She is right. It is indeed colorful.
UNFORTUNATELY COLOR DOES NOT SPELL TASTE.
And there's you. About as expected.

So I saw Harry Potter, and I kind of almost wish I hadn't.

It's not that I'm not angry that it sucked (which it did), it's that I'm angry but don't really care otherwise.

WELCOME TO BEING AN ADULT. HARRY POTTER DOESN'T MATTER.
Or, alternatively:
WELCOME TO BEING AN ADULT. ANGRY BUT NOT REALLY CARING ABOUT IT AT THE SAME TIME.

I'm going to buy the Sailor Moon manga in Japanese. No, I cannot read Japanese.

Welp.

One day I WILL be able to read Japanese. This isn't just a silly dream of a 10-year-old anymore, I'm actually going to study it in college.

Is that right?
You seem like one of the ones that didn't cut it in Japanese 101.
You know, when it turns out learning a language is a lot of work and not very "kawaii uguu ^____^" at all.

Got my UNC rooming assignment!

>UNC
Welp.
Might be able to battle Pokemons face-to-face, even.

Listening to your male classmates read aloud to each other the heavily pornographic stories they have written about each other is a very interesting way to spend lunch.

Excuse me?

I knew there was a "act gay to be ironic and cool" thing going on in the heterosexual male community, but this is very very strange to me.

Is that right?
Well being a heterosexual male with mostly heterosexual male friends I can say we've never once done this.
I can't even recall a time where someone even suggested it, be a joke or seriously. I'm pretty sure this is the first time I'm hearing of this phenomenon, in fact.
Maybe we're weird.

I finished a yummy skein of yarn this morning that is 128ish yards and is gooooorgeous I just want to drink it up.

>yummy skein of yarn
nope.
You know, "Oddacity", I wasn't hating you as much as I normally hate bloggers but I think I can manage now.

I have a drop spindle, and a spinning wheel that needs some repair.

You've come to the right place, then. For a price I can repair anything you're wearing.
Oh wait, no, sorry. Forgot this wasn't FFXIV.
Sorry I decided to play FFXIV instead of listening to some bint prattle on.
Hit fatigue on leatherworker again so ALL ABOUT SPLITTING WIND CRYSTALS YO.
When it resets tomorrow I'll be fucking ready, man.

DISGUST

Once in a while there's a blog that's bad (bad like all the rest) but there's also a certain layer of je ne sais quoi to it that makes me feel like I just stepped in dog shit. Originally I had a very specific blog in mind but after what I suspect might have been a certain entry on the subject the journal has since been purged.
At least, I hope I played a role in her exile from the internet.
Probably not.
Anyway I found a suitable replacement in "Ramblings from the dark room" and it's my favorite series of events: agree that you're 14 or older to get in, then agree you're 14 to read each entry. Gentlemen, we are in flavor country.
You might remember her from this entry about stuff called THE BATTLEFIELD AWAITS.
I actually had to reread what I wrote to remember my problem with her and I think I figured it out. All I remember was she was all up on my tits.

I'm back from vacation, that is - not to be confused with being back in the saddle. :) And I realized today that I'm a sneaky, untruthful, semi-controlling, mindfreak. I should've been a lawyer...I've known it all along, but I'm just now admitting it to myself.

See what I mean? Who's proud that they should be a lawyer? That's like saying "yeah I should be a bloodsucking leech, pretty awesome, isn't it?" NO, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

I know things that I shouldn't know because I've obtained information in ways I shouldn't have, but it's all part of the game, I guess.

>obtain information
>ways you shouldn't
Alien concept to me.

She leaves for military duty this week...she will be gone for 4 days. I think we need the break. A week of being couped up inside a car with someone really tests ones patience. LOL She leaves Thursday morning, so I will be a free bird on Thursday night....

Why would you even be with this person if you say shit like that?
And now I'm supposed to act like their lovers' tiffs are funny when I'm just sitting here getting fucking angry.

Dear Carnival,
Thank you for ruining my dream vacation and Elphie's first {real} vacation ever.

No don't care.
Another entry dedicated to her trouble planning a cruise. We should all have such problems.

Headed straight for the weekend (no pun intended - currently I am living and loving the lesbian lifestyle)!

Ohhhhhhh. Yes. I remember now. Apparently she had a happy life and a kid or some shit then decided she wanted to be a lesbian (or came to the deep spiritual conclusion she is a lesbian however that happens) and then she proceeded to blame everyone but herself for the ensuing chaos. Also she fails to mention that poor spawn she had.
I think I see why I only feel revulsion for flowergrl2.
I feel like I pick on gay people or transsexual people a lot in these blogs and I promise it's not any sort of deep hatred of gays (specifically) it's generally my deep hatred of my fellow man and there just happens to be a lot of gay people on Livejournal.

Elphie has military duty this weekend so she won't be anywhere near me.. :( I miss her when she's gone...especially at night in bed (and not just because of the {usually} great sex!!), I just enjoy sleeping together.

Yeah.
Yeah--
Why did I quote this again?

Dual counseling today....more carpooling...money saved....gym at 6am...vacation unknown...lunch in the park....job security null and void. That's my life in one sugar-coated little nutshell! :)

Duel counseling sounds like an awesome job.

Elphie and I are fine. I'm slowly learning to communicate with her more effeciently and not just get lost up in my own head so quickly when "issues" present themselves, followed by stuffing things down into my "numb" file where they are forgotten and left for dead.

What the fuck am I reading?
Who thinks about themselves this much (besides everyone on the internet)?

I'm trying to remain positive about the twists and turns of life. Elphie assures me she's not going anywhere and that makes me feel secure...love is all that really matters, after all - right?

No I'm pretty sure there's more in life that matters than just love.
Well, relatively. I guess ultimately nothing really matters but you get what I mean.

Nothing too incredibly interesting today...I guess I could state that sometimes Elphie and I seem kinetically connected and other times we seem worlds apart. The other night, out of nowhere, she cuddles up to me in bed and her hands go directly "downtown." Now, this girl knows me..she knows what I like in bed.

I honestly get the impression this woman isn't really a lesbian and she's just doing this out of some sort of childish sense that it's something naughty that she shouldn't be doing.
I'd also like to point out "kinetically connected" doesn't make a ton of sense. That'd literally be "connected through motion".
Which, actually-- yeah, you do seem to be connected just because you're going through the motions.

She knows what it takes to get me going. As I type this, I'm thinking it almost feels as if she was trying to spark a fight with me or something. She did her thing for a few minutes until I, realizing this scenario was going to produce nothing for me, rolled over and began to kiss and love on and touch her.

It's like reading about a 13 year old's first sexual encounter. Everyone has the right parts that kind of work now but no one quite knows what to do with them--

I figured if she was attempting to bring me pleasure, she must want some, right?! WRONG!

Rush of bizarre memories-- anyone remember that move Commando with Arnold Schwarzenegger?
YOU HAVE TO COOPERATE WITH US, RIGHT?
WRONG!
and then he shot the guy in the fucking face. Man I should watch that movie tonight.

She became instantly pissed off and withdrawn. She immediately turned over and started crying. All the while I was trying to talk to her and calm her down. She was muttering things like "...you aren't attracted to me anymore...you don't like the way I touch you...this is all over...you don't want me touching you..." YIKES!

Know what you ladies need? A little Marvin Gaye.
Not the song to use obviously but it's my favorite.

I just held her while she broke down cuz there was no talking her down off of the ledge...I've learned! She finally came back around... I told her I simply wasn't in the mood and didn't want to fake an orgasm just to appease her while deceiving her at the same time.

Heh, women. Double the women, double the crazy, am I right guys?

She was still a little hurt and started comparing our relationship to that of her last one where sex was used as a weapon.

Ha, another bizarre thought just occurred to me. Remember that scene in Black Ops where Weaver (or Mason or someone I can't keep these characters straight) started yelling about how Nova 6 becoming weaponized?
Ha, yeah. Sex has become weaponized. And then you assassinate JFK.
Anyway--

Finally I got her to understand that the fact that I couldn't cum without any type of foreplay whatsoever had nothing to do with her ex or her prior relationship and more to do with me just needing something extra.

I finally got her to understand she's being irrational, Christ all mighty.

She claimed (after her mental breakdown) that she has ESP of sorts and that it's a trait she gets from her mother. (gag)

Wow. What?
I never thought I'd say this but this makes lesbian sex seem really boring and melodramatic.
I guess this is closer to reality but I dunno.

Elphie and I have been doing ok - steady as she goes. Sunday we had a major malfunction however and I was hurt by her actions and words. Let me back up briefly... Saturday she was extremely sick..she had a migraine headache and was all stuffed up and basically just had a really hard time.

Did I tell you guys I hit leatherworking fatigue yesterday? Too much tanning--
Yeah, check it out:
You can tell by the yellow numbers at the bottom (usually they're white) also her "leatherworking bonus" has increased. No one is quite sure what that means or what they plan to do with it but suffice it to say I'm not wasting wind shards not getting full SP.
I was hoping it would reset today since I'm pretty sure I started leatherworking day 1 but apparently I didn't. It'll probably be Friday or Saturday or some fuck like that.
Oh well, I'll just gather wind shards and level alchemy and weaving until then. Be ready to muscle to fatigue again, YEAAAAAH SON.

Anyhoo...I allowed her to rest while I cleaned..she pretty much slept and stayed in bed all day. I would bring her meds, and drinks, and hot compresses and food...she didn't have to lift a finger. I was genuinely concerned about her health and just wanted her to get better. Finally, Saturday night around 10pm she started to come around.

No time to search the world around
'cause you know where I'll be found
when I come around

We discussed doing all the things on Sunday that we had planned for Saturday but were unable to accomplish due to her being sick, which included going to the gym, going out for coffee, going to Costco and Barnes & Noble...just little things.

I heard it all before
so don't knock on my door
I'm a loser and a user so I don't need no accuser
to try and slag me down 'cause I know you're right

I went into full-on pout mode...I got in the car and hauled ass home. No more room for errands...

What's happening?
Oh I skipped like three paragraphs because I suddenly remembered a Green Day song.

We got to the Barnes & Noble part and that's where the story takes a bad turn. I'm sitting in one of the aisles minding my own business, reading a book I had taken an interest in. Suddenly Elphie comes up to me in a rushed pace and quiet voice..."I just saw Sam." ok.......?? I didn't say anything... "I said hi..." ok........? I nodded and put my head back down in my book. She sat down next to me..."ready to go?" Ummmm, no. **I should explain - Sam is her ex-girlfriends dad.** I looked up and said "no, not really - are you trying to tell me you want to go?" I am reading her body language and covert voice inflections here...she is petrified that the ex is going to barge in to Barnes & Noble and cause a scene of sorts.

Usually it's good writing to put new dialogue into its own paragraph. I've had stories that go several pages without a full line because there's a dialogue between two people. You don't have to wall up, here.
It has what we in the business call "momentum" and makes for a quicker, enjoyable read instead of some fuck.
Starts to feel like an actual conversation between two people, you know?

then my head starts swimming...does she not want to be "seen" with me? Is she afraid seeing the ex will churn up old feelings?

I like how you call her unreasonable but look at this shit.
Goddamn.
Anyway I have this completely awesome plan to get leatherworking to 50. My plan is so genius I'm not even going to share it with other people yet.
On a completely unrelated note: if you're on Lindblum and have buffalo hides, sheepskin or Gigantoad skin I'm paying top dollar.

Is she truly afraid of a scene? Who would really cause a scene in a bookstore? She knows this girl rather well after spending six years with her - she should know how she's going to react. All of these things started running thru my pissed off mind... I grabbed my stuff, got up, walked to the front of the store to pay for the books I was reading. I am being KICKED OUT OF A STORE BECAUSE THE EX MIG

HT WALK IN????? BULLSHIT!!!!!

TOP DOLLAR. Don't try to sell me dodoskin though.

Apparently nothing was juicy about Elphie's counseling visit last week...if it was - I am failing to recall it. :)

HELLBENT FOR LEATHER, WISHIN' MY GAL WAS BY MY SIDE--
Man you're just a gross person. Writing all this fuck like anyone gives a fuck, acting like a complete twit while expecting others to do and act in ways you cannot or will not?
What the fuck is wrong with you, anyway? Is it even healthy to be this wrapped up in another person even if you're "in love" which is apparently the only thing that matters?
I think a lot more matters. Like progress and knowledge and shit.
No but you're intellectually dead inside. You probably don't even fully understand this feeling you call love. It's just a vestigial word for an emotion you've never truly felt. You've just heard about it and reckon your girlish crush on another girl is the genuine article. I swear to fuck everything you write just screams "high school drama" and "forbidden love" even though no one really gives two shits. What, did you miss out on that in high school (not missing much) and decided now would be the time at the ripe age of 33?
Fuck.
Anyway tomorrow is a new day. No rest for the wicked.

THE BATTLEFIELD AWAITS

Today's entry has pretentious twat written all over it, man.
Gee, give me a moment to muster some sympathy for you and your relationship turmoil, especially considering the PROBLEM IS YOUR FAULT.
Also it does that thing where you have to agree you're 14 coming in and then you're 14 at each entry. Good. Now Livejournal isn't loading entries and I can't say this is necessarily a huge problem for me--
Ah fuck it loaded. Anyway here we go--
Her first entry is entitled "Division" with a thousand ellipsis.

...and I'm not talking about math.

My relationship feels divided...emotionally, physically and more important - mentally.

Women, man. It's easy, just ask her about her day and what's on her mind. Then she's going to start running her fucking yap and you can think about sex. When she pauses just restate what she just said in the form of a question and hope it makes sense.
Hum, getting my gender relations check for sure in pussy sensitivity class.

Our relationship feels very superficial to me right now.

I believe Jesus said it best: there is no such thing as superficial relationships, just superficial people.
Actually that wasn't Jesus, it was Zeus.
Okay I lied again. I just made that up.

Am I the one who should be addressing the issues until they're dead on the floor?

Sounds like you're the only one with issues.

Should I be making all of the plans? What changes should I be responsible to implement?

Implementing changes-- this is a relationship, not a consulting firm, Christ.

Are all of these things in my head??? Should I be selfish in this relationship and simply tend to mine and my childrens needs, completey disregarding my partner?

>selfish
>tending to your children
errrrr--

Really???? Is this how it's going to be forever?

More later..gotta go now - she just summoned me for lunch.

SHE.
That reminds me there's a chiptune group called she that's pretty good.
Anyway I'm getting off topic.
And here's today's writer's (TOO MANY POSSESSIVES HOLY SHIT) Block:

Have you ever fallen in love with two people at once? How did it work out?

This was a strange question to me. I guess I believe you should be guarded in your emotional state more than that-- and that's probably why I have about no friends since moving three years ago, but that's not the point.
The point is you shouldn't commit to a bitch until you're reasonably sure nothing better will come along or you can lie to yourself convincingly that nothing better has come along.

I was in a committed, long-term relationship and fell in love with someone else...unexpectedly!

... As opposed to all the people who do commit to relationships fully expecting to fall in love with other people.
DO PEOPLE REALLY DO THAT?
I love all these people who think that somehow excuses their bullshit antics. I DIDN'T EXPECT TO FALL IN LOVE.
Oh, well then that's perfectly okay, then. Just a vow of marriage no huge deal. Not like you VOWED something meaning you'd promise NEVER TO BREAK IT AS LONG AS IT WAS IN YOUR POWER or anything.

It was tough on me mentally and emotionally, not to mention the other two people involved. The former didn't end well and I had made an absolute mess of things before all was said and done.

And yet evidently you brought this all on yourself so excuse me for not feeling any sympathy.
... That'd be like me punching myself in the nuts and then typing "goddamn it, I just hit myself in the nuts" WELL SHIT, SON!

People are going to do what they want to do, but the small amount of experience I gained on the subject was enough to last me a lifetime. I can't help but think, what comes around goes around...

... Err, I think you're supposed to say that when someone does something to you, not the other way around-- fuck it.
Holy shit now there's a giant wall of words.

I love me some Lady Gaga...

Last night found me, once again, tending to the house while my love interest/roommate tinkered around in the garage with the go-kart...ya, ya - I know...AGAIN??!!

k

Ummmm yeah, my thoughts exactly.

Well I'm glad someone knows what I'm thinking in this situation, apparently.

Last night in bed I was watching The L Word (which I love, love, love) and girlie decided to get frisky on me.

Girlie-- what--

After a few minutes I couldn't control my attention to the TV any longer.. we began to make out, caress, etc...then the tickles set in on her. I'm quite used to this because she's highly ticklish around her hips and inner thigh, but this was a new area - the neck.

Oh I get it. Lesbians.
Well that explains why everything is vague and not too gender-defined. Still not out to the parents, eh?

She shivered in a tickled frenzy and giggled a bit. I asked if she was ticklish and she said yes. So I moved on...a little set back in the mood - but all's well that ends well for the evening...right? WRONG?!

WRONG.

About 430am little man woke up crying because he was picking at

Hey whoa, all right. I thought you were a lesbian, not a pedophile.
Well, I suppose those aren't mutually exclusive categories--

the scabs on his face and had realized that one was still a little too attached for his liking. Poor guy wrecked his bike over his dads house last weekend and landed on his face. :(

Father's responsibility to teach his son to roll like a man.
Remember always: you can't control when you fall, but you can control what you do while you're falling. The ability to override your instinct to brace yourself with your arm is the only thing that separates you from the beast.
Arms across the chest, tuck the neck, try to get on your back.

Anyhoo, we both rolled out of bed and tended to baby boy...then we went in a laid back down in bed. Suddenly it was discussion time... She made a reference to last nights' sexcapade and then said, while laughing, that when I was 'stroking' her neck she was making up a joke in her head about (of all things) "stroking a c*ck."

You talk about massaging her inner thigh and yet you censor cock? What the fuck kind of censorship is this, woman?
That'd be like me censoring "d*mn" after using "fuck" and "cunt" already. (har har har)

I was instantly horrified and completely turned off. Then the comment penetrated (no pun intended) my thick skin and my feelings were hurt.

Why?
Actually no, don't care.

Now she's judging different things I do when I make love to her and comparing them to c*ck?? WTF???

Nope, still don't care.

I went into my usual mode of shutting down...I got quiet and turned over to face the wall. She immediately picked up on my change of attitude and asked what was wrong. I told her I was offended and to know that her headspace is filling with jokes while I am simply exploring her body is just cruel.

Baby, when your brain is full of fuck it's full of fuck.

If that's the kind of thing you think about while being intimate - please, for sake of your partner - don't ever tell them.

I'd hope she'd be cooler than that.

In true fashion she became instantly irritated and thought the whole thing was her fault and suddenly it turned into I didn't like the way she makes love to me and then my head was spinning. She got out of bed...in the shower...packed a bag....and did her whole "I'm leaving!" speech.

These people are so irrational.
And yes I mean that with every conviction it can have.

This is at 5am, mind you. I don't do well at any time before 9am - and she knows this - but here we were engaging in this child-like behavior at o'dark thirty. She told me on the way out of the bedroom door that I was mean and she didn't have to take this kind of abuse and to judge her is cruel and why haven't I ever insulted her in the sack before now and yada yada yada.... I just let her go cuz I could hardly form a coherrant thought...

Well you posted this at 4:25 PM, what's your excuse for not being able to form a "coherant" thought now?

I said I was frustrated because I wasn't sure where I could touch her without her feeling ticklish and me feeling like she didn't like what I was doing and was it going to be like "ya, let's have sex - oh by the way - you can only touch my p*ssy."

Censoring the word "pussy" in light of this discussion has to be the most bizarre and inappropriate thing I have seen all week.
... It's early, though, and tomorrow's pussy sensitivity class so we'll see.

She didn't like that at all... She left after slamming 100 cupboards and doors on her way out. Then she went 3 miles up the road to Starbucks and started a texting war with me...which I refused to engage in.

So what's this argument about, exactly?

Then she called and said she was hurt and was feeling like she was going to shut down and not initiate sex ever again with me because of the rejection I was giving her. She said she made up a joke in her head about a c*ck because she didn't want to tell me what she was really experiencing.

Those poor children.

I think my girlfriend feeds off of chaos and pain.

CHAOS.
Cover to Brotherhood of the Snake, I think. One of the few Warhammer books actually worth reading.
On an unrelated note: this.
Now there's a post that has font so small I need a microscope--

What a difference a year makes...this time last year I was hopeful, giddy...bursting at the seams with passion and yet so consumed with the secret I was carrying day in and day out.

The secret is she worships Slaanesh and heads a depraved sex cult involving human sacrifice. That is, until the Emperor's Space Marines made planet fall. The green panoply and grinning serpent of the Salamanders chapter.
Into the fires of battle, unto the anvil of war!
No I'm just making this more interesting than it really is.

I had completely checked out of the relationship in May...and he knew it...but I didn't know how (or didn't have the courage) to walk into the room and tell him it was o-v-e-r and make the necessary arrangements regarding finances, custody, etc...

Whosoever shalt end the relationship shall take nothing but what was brought in the first place.
That seems like a fair rule to me.

I found out she liked a certain set of vampire novels that I also adored.

Twilight, hurrr.
Also you don't need to say "a certain set" like it's some kind of indie shit no one has heard of before. I'm pretty sure it outsold the Bible last year.
Anyway I think I have something to do for pussy sensitivity class now.
GOTTA BE SENSITIVE YO

THE TIME IS NIGH

Just a fair warning: there may be no update Wednesday.
There may be, however, if the release day patch for FFXIV exceeds one GB.
Stay listening, I guess~
Today's writer's block was fantastic because it asks "if you could change or create a law what would it be?" and like all things Livejournal the responses are fantastically well-thought and well-meaning.
Where to begin? First, the Livejournal hivemind has spoken: gay marriage is in. HOW CREATIVE, PEOPLE. I mean that's a fair law, after all. They are citizens like anyone else and why shouldn't they be entitled to the same rights as everyone else?
Of course most Livejournal users aren't that articulate about it but whatever.
Second: universal health care is in. I thought that was in before? At least, I thought it was in. Maybe I wasn't paying as close attention as I thought. What was all that health care reform and spending lots and lots of money this country doesn't have about, then?
Anyway I'm against this idea. Once you run out of money you can do no more things, or so I was taught as a child. Well, the US, you have done this. Save your pennies and next time you can get health care for all.
However, I feel today's idiot blogger has by far the worst idea ever. Check this shit out:

Racism would be straight up illegal, and stupid laws like the one in Arizona would send whoever proposed the bill to jail!

Gee, how are you gonna enforce that? Racist employment policies are already illegal, so I have to assume you're referring to individual acts of racism. Are you going to have inquisitors going around ensuring people aren't racist? Is there going to be a random pop quiz to ensure no racial ill will? Aren't Americans entitled to think however they want, no matter how wrong or misguided, according to the CONSTITUTION?
Idiot.

gasp! Lol. I been tryin to put him in something extracurricular.

You been, eh?

but its kinda saddening Lol. me on the other hand, i was always doing piano. =/ extracurricular stuff is good for kids -- keeps them outta trouble.

Or you could, you know, talk to your spawn or something.

i been trying to practice being happy in the moment. and from this, even through the darkest moments... its hard but i feel much stronger because of it. no longer wishing for what isn't. being happy with the now. it is so liberating.

Great. Thanks for that wisdom, Buddha.

haha last night i had a dream i was hanging out with steven spielberg and the human woman from the navi avatar movie.

What the fuck?

What is the best science fiction movie of all time, and why?

If your answer isn't "Return of the Jedi" you are provably incorrect.
It has sword fights, it has HOT BLOOD, it has betrayal and redemption, it has romance, WHAT THE FUCK MORE DO YOU WANT OUT OF A MOVIE YOU PLEBS?

I like SciFi, but one of my favorites is "The Island."

THAT SHITTY MOVIE WITH SCARLET JOHANSON AND EWEN MCGREGGOR?
Also the question wasn't "what is one of your favorites" but "which is you all time favorite?"

The reason I really like this movie is that it is very thought provoking, raising issues of playing God in the lab, such as transplants, stem-cell research, genetic engineering, cloning, etc. etc.

That movie was about as thought-provoking as a bowel movement, shut up.

a funny thing happened 2 me 2day. i was almost there... been hearin w y y for weeks in my head, & almost had chance 2 talk 2 them omg! but no ingles!

WHAT?
WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ?
No, you're going back and doing that again.

Is there anyone you would permanently erase from your life and memory? If so, who and why?

Erase yourself and you'll transcend and turn into pure energy, so clearly this is the correct answer.
No but seriously I'd erase you so I wouldn't be reading your shitty blog currently.

If you were given a life do-over card, would you keep it or give it to a friend? If you kept it, would you prefer to be born to the same or different parents? Would you want to keep your memories?

Do it over but keep your memories. You'd be a 6 year old with the wisdom of-- err, a six year old, but me personally, I'd be a 6 year old with THE WISDOM OF THE AGES.

this mothers day consisted of my son lockin himself in his room playing video games,

Pokemon don't level themselves, you know.

What do you think the lower age limit should be for LiveJournal and other social networks, and why?

21.
Actually, no: you should have to pass a basic IQ and common sense test before you're allowed on the internet in general.

Do you think a marriage license should have a renewal or expiration date, just like a driver's license?

No. People need to learn relationships are a lot of work and not just a huge party.

Yes, the rate marriages fail these days, the expiration date should be about 4 years from time of implementation.

Oh that's brilliant, have them expire before they can fail. Yes, now the problem is really solved.
Idiots.

Some weird guy kept bugging me to go on a date with him. Well, I got there 15 min late and he didn't call or text me until he was at his house already and I had just arrived. Then he calls ME shady and tells me why did I email him that I was running late when I knew he was away from the computer. Well, thing is, HE could have called me as well, so why the hell he is going to put all the blame on me when it very well takes 2 to tango.

Because you showed up late? Granted it was only 15 minutes but still, this is your fault. Also why would you date someone admittedly "weird" who "bugs" you? Don't you have a kid to be raising? That's great, your kid will wind up an orphan as his whore mother goes around with anyone who asks her out.

So it is just as much his fault. Maybe even more considering he is the guy and should be chasing the girl.

I always love it when women employ this logic. WOMEN'S LIBERATION WOOOOO! Oh, but when it comes to dating we're still in the 13th century.
Only when it's convenient for you, eh ladies?

Anyway, this new train of thought is liberating. I just finished that book "he's just not that into you" and I am not chasing anymore. Rather, I just kick back relax and do my own thing while nutheads fall at my feet. Pure liberation, and I'm loving it.

Hey bitch, I'd be happy to joust or something equally manly for your honor, but I'm not begging.
Oh God, suddenly I'm reminded of that God awful (and I mean really awful) song called "Crazy Bitch". Why did I just think of that fuck?

those who are happiest are those who find beauty even in the most mundane things.

Nay, I tell ye now: those who are truly happiest are those who are happy with themselves and nothing more.
I just made that up, actually. See how easy it is to sound wise when you just make shit up as you go along? I'm almost positive that's how all religions operate.

so i been walking around downtown and comparing the cappuccinos.... most of them have that starbucks factory flavor taste, but there are two that are really good.

Suddenly I'm reminded of that other song with bitch in the title: "Sexy Bitch". What is it with me today? At least that song has kind of a cool Gameboy sound to it.

sometimes.. u just got to believe in yourself to make that final step.

Oh wow. Thanks for that, Parappa. I GOTTA DO WHAT? I GOTTA BELIEVE!

pedro is kinda like one. but i feel he is corrupted. maybe God wants me to help him find the innocence again? Beats me. Or maybe: God wants me to learn Patience! jajaja.. I think that's it! lmao!

The fuck?
Also:
>jajajaja
ARE YOU BRAZILIAN, MOTHERFUCKER?
Brazil is but one step removed from Texas.

i'm so cold now. he likes me more than i like him. honestly i dont give a damn. i was flirtin with other guys. i never do that if i like a guy. i think i am better as his friend. but as for a girlfriend? naw.. he's too immature for me. but he kept introducing me as his girlfriend.... i was like whatdafuck? but i didn't wanna embarass him.. (its like my ex said before. some girls just pushed their way into his life...) the spanish dude asks "how long?" "oh 3 months" date said.

Let's just sit back and bask in this mess.

there is a guy my age in orlando that seems really funny.. he's hella attractive, artistic (he can make vector art like me), and he writes stories.

Anyone remember that game Vectorman?
Fuck yeah that game was awesome.
Now here's a post in Japanese, let's see--
She phoned someone and it's really tough and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

I would love to get paid to travel and blog about it. That would be hardcore awesome. =) I do that crap already anyway. Lol. Might as well get paid for it. =P

Don't you have a kid to be raising?
Also: I'd love to play video games and get paid to blog about my adventures.
Who wouldn't want a job where it's just fun all day everyday?

i was thinkin that we are all instruments for a plan He has for us.

WE ARE BUT PAWNS IN TZEENTCH'S GREAT GAME. WE SHOULD BE THANKFUL FOR THE PART WE PLAY.

not ready for commitment at the time, but when it happens, what i want from my ideal dude.

Oh, better take notes.

1. good heart

Do I have a good heart?
Sure, why not?
My frequent ill-wishes toward my fellow man certainly doesn't make me a bad person, anyway.

2. beautiful eyes

Despite my frequent wishes for ROBOT EYES I think they're okay, so sure let's go with that--

3. medium build. i can't go with a skinny dude. =P i want a guy who can lift me up and put me on his shoulders

Oh no, I don't meet this tramp's list of ideal traits for a man.
Heart broken now.
I doubt I could lift you because I can't lift ten times my own weight.

so.. i was reading somewhere that Lucifer was once God's favorite angel.

LUCIFER in heaven, before his rebellion, was a high and exalted angel, next in honor to God's dear Son.

>implying Lucifer is the devil
>implying Lucifer is Satan
>implying Satan is the devil
Bible doesn't say this anywhere, you know--

To not want to is したくない shitakunai.
To have to do in slang is しなきゃあ (ならない) shinakyaa (naranai).

Thanks for that grammar lesson. Didn't know that.
Oh wait, yes I did, huh.

I got my blood test results back and my level is way too high...

Can your level be too high? What, not getting experience for grinding vermin anymore? Time to move to the Dunes~
Anyway I have to go to class soon and to be perfectly frank I'd rather be sitting there doing nothing at all than continue reading your horseshit, so be seeing you I guess.

Life's the same

Today we have "Embracable Aberration" (THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN ABERRATION THAT CAN BE EMBRACED, PREPARE TO BE PURGED) also known as "Eris_Devotee" and I think I'm getting douche shivers already and we're not even into the blog yet.

There are some things I owe to my mother. Among them is the fact that I'm not a racist or a bigot.

The whole Islamic center in Manhattan debate is making me insane. The constitution could not be more clear about this. I don't understand why there is a debate of any kind whatsoever.

Legally they're allowed but you know how people are and with Manhattan the size it is they couldn't find another block a little further away just to avoid controversy like they must have known they'd generate?
I say build a giant statue to Zeus in the same spot. Fuck you, monotheist.

I don't understand why 18% of Americans think Obama is a Muslim, but like Bob said - "let's say I do believe that. Now ask me if I care."

I don't know and I don't care what religion he is but I do know he's an inept fucker. He even failed to impress me at evading a serious response to this, err, "issue".
Meanwhile the Chinese are revaluing their currency but NOPE WE HAVE ISLAMIC CENTERS TO WORRY ABOUT NOT OUR CRASHING ECONOMY.
I mean if it were president they'd have to explain to me what was happening because I'd be so concerned over my logistical figures and infrastructure issues that this would be the first I'm hearing of this.
SORRY GOT ROADS TO PAVE AND ECONOMIES TO REVIVE, OUT THE WAY.

The nicotine patch is making it easy to quit cigarettes. Day 4 with minimal issues/distractions.

Day four so you're far into this quitting thing.

I think a lot about: what if I had health insurance for the past 20 years.

Based off the shit I've heard so far I'm guessing everyone would have higher premiums.

As someone who has a strong identity=mind=self=soul belief about herself, it's been a rough ride for cognitive struggles to have manifested. Some of it seems a little better, but there's a lot of unpredictability there.

What?
What the fuck does that even mean?

I need a combination of orbital decompression surgery

Err-- uh-huh?

and a shortening of the muscles behind my eyes.

... Why? Usually you hear about this in children who have listing eyes (it's really creepy check it out) and it's a birth defect, not something that sets in later.

I just figured something out that should've occurred to me before: if Graves is an auto-immune disease, then it stands to reason that it is subject to flares just like all other auto-immune diseases.

Oh, okay. I get it now. Now it all makes sense.
This doesn't happen very often, let's bask in the glow of a complete thought on Livejournal. There's a problem and we know why the problem exists.

I'm baffled. Because in every single case, I have my own ideas about how we should go about treatment.

Oh well thank you, Doctor Dumbass.

I got pissed because 1 week after I lowered my meds and stopped prednisone, all my symptoms returned. I was told there was NO WAY it could be hyperthyroidism after only 1 week of lowered meds. And lo and behold, it MUST have been the case because I went all the way back to the other end of the spectrum.

Why can't you just get your thyroid taken out?
I know for a fact this is possible and you can just take some Synthroid to overcome not having an important gland, and then you wouldn't need all these visits to doctors and medications and shit.
But I get it your life is so devoid of anything of value you do this for attention and for something to fill the void.
Do you talk about anything else? Good grief. I've run into ONE OF THESE BLOGS.
Also as a supposed "devotee to Eris" shouldn't you be glad at the discord in your life? I mean that is what Eris does, you know. I mean when your father is Erebus, god of darkness and your mother is Nyx, goddess of the night and your grandfather is CHAOS HIMSELF some decisions are just made for you.

my two best friends from youth, Kate and Darlene, both sensed how sick I was before I went to the hospital. Darlene only got what I had been posting on FB, and Kate got what I was posting on here, but both of them contacted me on the night I was feeling the worst... both of them saying they just sensed something was wrong.

WOW HOW'D YOU TWO LADIES SENSE THAT?
IT'S ALMOST LIKE SHE NEVER SHUTS UP ABOUT IT!
I sense this woman is a real twat who never stops bitching.
Oh man, am I psychic or what?
Further psychic predictions: the sun will rise tomorrow!

um... after a year with actual climate control, I can honestly say that with lupus - I shouldn't live without it.

Lupus and Graves' Disease and quitting smoking and hey wait a minute, shouldn't someone with so many immune system and endocrine system problems not be smoking in the first place? Shouldn't that be a "wow I really have to knock this off pronto or I'll fucking die" type thing?

Well, now I'm nervous/anxious/obsessing...

I called my caseworker for disability to make certain she had received the information about my most recent hospital stay.

OH MY GOD WHO GIVES A FUCK?

And then because it was unknown to the people who read my other blog, I used to to kvetch about lupus and probably just whine in general.

-USED- to?
What do you call all of this, then? Christ all mighty.

A skinny-minny - no. A curves-in-all-the-right-places, shouldn't-we-all-be-so-lucky body at almost 59 years old.

>curves
>right places
Whatever, fat people.

But I really really can't justify smoking, in any way, when semi-serious pericarditis is somewhere my lupus might venture again.

HURR DURR HURRRRRRRRRR
I think I just herped so hard I derped

I'm so fucking bored. Even beyond resting, I just need... something. If the photo shoot happens Wednesday (weather and health depending), I'll have work for a week or so but...

FFXIV beta ended the 25th, I know. But that's okay we're probably only like 2-ish weeks (at most) from the next phase of the beta and the game itself actually comes out in 25 days so it won't be too much longer.
A lot of people are worried about the fatigue system and yeah it's probably going to suck but if your primary complaint about a game is YOU CAN ONLY PLAY YOUR FAVORITE CLASS FOR --EIGHT-- HOURS then what the fuck?
It's not like it's just eight hours a week, either. Level another class you OCD bastard, Christ. That'll work the fatigue for the other class off, won't it?
Or, or if you really want to be balls to the wall (and you will because you're hardcore like that) you could level through the experience penalty.

Tension is...

Something that raises the damage you deal in Dragon Quest, yes.

I still can't shake the OMFG feeling the rises up. As in holy shit all that really just happened.

Oh don't even get me started. I got in this fucking class, right (well, sort of) and I just need to transfer into it but apparently they've lost my add/drop form in the, what, less than a block it is from the professor's office to the admissions office.
This is bullshit, absolute fucking horseshit.
Then compound this with the fact I'M TALKING MY CLASSES OUT OF ORDER OH NO I'm totally fucked for an entire year, aren't I?
Oh well just gotta get this cleared up for really Monday one way or another, I guess.
I feel like a mad man running between all these different offices inquiring about shit they don't even know about but look what I'm reduced to, honest to fuck.

ahhhhh, lust.

It's magick, the best sort, yes it is.

Did you just spell magic with a k?
I know that's how they spell it in a lot of video games because "magic" is like magician pulling a rabbit out of the hat shit and people in video games are conjuring meteors and THE DEVIL but you're not so knock it off.

I'm sitting in the waiting area of my psychiatrist's office. Of course that means I am crocheting. In walks a drug rep (they're all the same - young, pretty, hyper, phony), looks at what I am doing and says...

I scowled at her and said, "actually, it's my job."

Hey at least you're not out in the sun all day laying mortar, asshole.

I wanted to say "if it was fucking therapeutic would I be sitting here you fucking moron".

I cut some shit because I don't care and so she's actually referring to being in a psychiatrist's office. Also I'd like to mention she's married and has a child.
... SURPRISED?

I'm a third wave feminist, and proud of it.

Don't know what that means.
Don't care, either. Keep it to yourself.

I'm pro-Free Will.

Anyone else believe free will is ultimately impossible because even if you can make your own decisions the gulf between what you know and the realm of what can be known is so vast your attempts at exerting your own free will are futile and dust in the wind?
Or am I the only person that thinks of shit like this?
The term "sister-woman" came up on this post and I don't even know what the fuck is happening.

You wanna know what bites my ass lately? When people refer to me as "strong" as if that means I have more raw capacity to deal with life's shit than the person standing next to me.

Yeah, that'd bite my ass too, especially considering it's a blatant fiction.

so... didja know you could get blisters on your eyeballs?

Yeah I did. Did you know your eyelids can dissolve from the inside and they actually curl on themselves, then?
Needless to say the process of this isn't exactly easy on the corneas.
So I think I'm done with this blog now because it's just starting to repeat itself over and over and here's a question: if 2009 and 2010 are "the toughest years for your disease yet" is it getting progressively worse or are you just a drama queen?

Let's stay current

Like a dog returning to its vomit, I find myself returning to the subject of THE MEANEST MOM (ALL CAPS POWERS ACTIVATE!) I promised many moons ago to keep tabs on her, and keep tabs on her I have. Here we are for today.

I had an all-day appointment yesterday, so my husband took a day off of work to watch Cameron.

What are you so busy doing to watch your own spawn, woman?
Well that's fair enough, I guess the other idiot needs a chance to get a lesson in what he's been neglecting.

"I spent $100 at the grocery store!" my husband said incredulously when I removed the death mask. "And I didn't buy hardly anything!"

I pretended to be shocked. "You don't say?" I replied.

Hey spare me the sarcasm. It's thanks to my fucking employment you can buy food.
You certainly ain't employed with your doctorate in, what was it? MEDIEVAL LITERATURE?

This weekend, I am going to make him go with me to buy sneakers for all the kids.

Watch yourself now, he might just get the bright idea that none of you are worth the hassle and run off.
Here's her daughter's schedule for school and she's really flattering herself if she thinks I'm interested. Recess is missing and there's a double session of math. Glad I graduated from primary school a while ago.

On Monday, I lined everyone up in front of a rack at Old Navy.

"Pick whatever backpack you want," I told them.

Kids handle decision making notoriously well. You are talking to people whose cognitive abilities don't extend far enough to understanding that when you break something in two you are not, in fact, doubling the amount of something you have.
If you're trying to avoid a production (and you never seem to be, huh) you'd pick two or at most three appropriate backpacks and say "pick your favorite". Most kids, especially boys, could give a fuck so you'd probably do well to just pick a non-girl one for them but you are half an idiot, after all.
I'm sure they had children raising guides back in the dark ages. Surely you've come across one? And don't pull that bullshit "things were different back then" because they were not that different.

Cortlen and Camber quickly found something suitable to their tastes. Kellen took one look at the offerings and threw himself on the floor.

In case you forgot the choice of names.

"All of these backpacks are disgusting!" he cried.

See you gave them too much time to think. Had we used my method we'd already be moving to the next store.

"You touch it, you take it," I told him.

What the fuck, why are we falling back on grade school tactics here?

This morning, I took my kids to see Gregor. When the librarian saw me, he greeted me with a big grin....turned upside down.

Gregor. Why does everyone in your life have a name straight out of some scifi movie?

This week, my boys attended Vacation Bible School at a local church.

>Vacation
>Bible
>School
What? It's like three terms that don't make sense together.

Another church located directly across the street from the VBS church ran a medieval-themed dance camp for girls at the same time.

Medieval-themed dance camp.
So let me see if I understand this correctly: you take an awesome era of history involving knights, jousting, political scheming, the coining of the phrase "assassin" (exactly what it is today), the reemergence of humanist principles straight from the cruelty of the crusaders, the discovery of gunpowder, optics, astronomy and chemistry (through a pseudoscience called alchemy), several people so badass fictional accounts have to be toned down because there's no way people today would believe someone that awesome actually existed and dancing was the best thing they could come up with?
Whatever, Church.

This afternoon was Camber's dance recital. During the only 30 minute period of the week when my cell phone ringer was turned off, Cortlen got stung by a bee at Bible school.

Probably a mistake for dividing your children amongst activities. You had too many kids, that's a fact, so you should probably enroll them all in the same shit, yeah?
Also we have already established this is something none of your kids want to do, so just stay home and watch TV, Christ all mighty.

I apologized profusely to a group of women with clipboards in their hands and explained the situation, pointing to my daughter (who was wearing a cardboard breastplate and carrying a sword covered with aluminum foil) as evidence.

Oh yeah and Joan of Arc. Man these activities suck, fuck me. You could not have had more interesting shit going on and yet here we have dance and the Bible. The human imagination truly is an uncreative as advertised.

In Florida, it's the reptiles.

I don't have anything against lizards, but I don't particularly like to find them in my shower stall or running across the sidewalk every time I step foot outside my house.

Lizards are awesome, what's wrong with you? Look at the picture of the one you linked on your own blog. The fucker is blending in with that tree perfectly. That's fucking rad.

On Tuesday, I took my kids to the park and sat down on top of one. In my defense, the lizard was the same color as the park bench.

If the lizard wasn't sick when I sat down, it certainly was when I stood up. The thing was alive, but it didn't look so good.

Important lesson today, kids. We're going to learn about death and futility.

For reasons which I don't understand, my kids were more concerned about the condition of the reptile than my mental health. The shriek could be heard for miles.

Yes we're going to watch this lizard die a slow, painful death. Remember the helplessness you feel now. In the future remember to choose death and end its suffering.

This morning, one of the local movie theaters in town opened its doors to Orlando's youngest citizens, offering anyone under the age of 10 a free ticket to see Jonah: A Veggie Tales Movie.

Wow the theaters around here were showing Aliens. Not to 10 year olds obviously but as their "movies that haven't been in the theaters for a while" movie.
FLORIDA SUCKS HOLY SHIT.

Once the movie started, and I realized that all of the characters in it were vegetables, I began to actively look around for fire alarms.

... Really? A movie with the subtitle "A Veggie Tales Movie" stars talking vegetables?
Guess what: Aliens features, get this, aliens!

The three rows in front of us in the movie theater were occupied by preschoolers from a daycare center.

"Don't you think it's weird that a bunch of little kids can keep their hands to themselves during a movie but you guys can't?"

"It's almost like kids don't raise themselves you stupid cunt," would be my response. It'd be worth the time out.
I'd like to point out again that while you're raising your kids to be strippers and spouse-abusing alcoholics my kids will be future assassins. I'm not saying your kids suck but at least mine will always be employed.
You had two perfect life lessons in that lizard about camouflage (and how it does and more importantly doesn't work) and death, and you instead chose to focus on your own mental health. Whoop-de-shit you sat on a lizard. You'll survive.

Earlier tonight I gave a presentation to the teenage girls in my church about the importance of education.

"Our own glorious institution has fought tooth and nail since the dawn of its inception against education. Scholasticism was the first step against education: smart reading-types were locked away in monasteries. Coincidence? It is against the church's best interest to have people educated."

"If you call them bracelets one more time, I'm going to gnaw my arm off," threatened the Wanderer a few days ago.

See what I mean? Killer instincts in these kids. They can be turned into helpful members of society.

I'm nominated again for Blogluxe's Funniest Blog Award!

BA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA.

Woo Hoo! I feel tremendously honored, as even being nominated for this award is a big deal. Last year, I narrowly missed out on standing on the winner's podium and I am super psyched to be in the running again alongside some really funny blogs.

HA, HA, HA, HA HOLY SHIT STOP.

I feel a little lame asking you this on the heels of what is ironically one of my few serious posts, but will you consider voting for me?

Hoo-boy that was entertaining for a minute there. You, funny?
HA!
Oh look, targets. This "Blogluxe" is an ally. Going to have to keep this in mind.
Anyway I guess that's it. Remember: I'm always watching.

OWNER OF A LONELY HEART

MUCH BETTER THAN A
OWNER OF A BROKEN HEART

It's all out there and I want it back. Now that you know, the pain just digs so much deeper. Is it guilt? Self pity? WHAT?? I don't know what to do.

Come to think of it, I can't believe that song's lyrics have defied this page so long. Remember all those times shit like this has come up and I've said something to the effect of "I feel like I'm missing a really obvious joke"? Well, I think I know what that really obvious joke is now. Yes lyrics, of course.
And they are a joke (burn, Yes)

We're utterly stuck, unable to grant each others wishes. Both in pain, and helpless to change it. *sigh*... what are we going to do?...

Like dust in the wind, dude.
Deeeeeeep.

You're finally feeling what I've been feeling for a year now. I wish I could take away that hurt, because it's killing me to know that it's killing you. You love her... I know that. I have known that. However... "That doesn't mean I don't have feelings for you... but..." Wait... what??... Stop. You can't be serious... "I almost kissed you once you know." No... it's not true. It's not fucking true...

Shiiiiit. What are we talking about, again?

"I don't want to break her heart." he says, "Everyone gets their heart broken..." "But I don't want to be that guy..." You wanna know something?... You don't have to be dating someone to break their heart... you are that guy... whether you realize it or not.

Oh man it reads like the script to FFXIII suddenly.
I WILL PROTECT YOU, SERA
Jesus shit it's like 57 thousand hours in can we please move on?
"COME ON, THEN," says Australia (can't be bothered to remember names), "WE'RE ALL TOGETHER!" (cute laugh noise) OH MY GOOOOD THIS GAME, MAN. THIS FUCKING GAME.
I should have knooooown I was in for some shit when the theme song was sung by LEONA LEWIS. WHO IS THAT? I DON'T KNOW, BUT I DON'T LIKE THE CUT OF HER GIB.
Sorry she's bitching about something (boy trouble, presumably) and I had a meltdown about Final Fantasy.

College. Work. Love. Faith. Friends. It's all a jumbled piece of mixed up garbage that's currently going through the trash compactor of my soul, waiting to be spit out into a nice neat little cube of something managable that I can toss over a fucking cliff.

The world's most tortured metaphor, Jesus Christ.

Of course, I don't really have any enemies either, but you get the point. No one should have to suffer through my psychological nonsense. I mean look at this crap. What am I even saying?

I don't know, that's what I was asking you.
If you don't even know we're in some shit.

All the tiny pieces of her... one by one, they die. And like a hurricane of corpses, the whirlwind created by the lost souls finally settle at the bottom of her being.

Someone just finished reading Dante's Inferno.

There, they sit. They wait. She wonders if anyone will ever pick them up, if not out of pity, then perhaps curiosity, like a child who cradles something in their hand that they do not understand.

...
Sorry I started reading The Inferno.
Just came to my favorite part.
Well not my favorite part, but a good part:

and I began: 'Francesca, your torments
make me weep for grief and pity,
'but tell me, in that season of sweet sighs,
how and by what signs did Love
acquaint you with your hesitant desires?'
And she to me: 'There is no greater sorrow
than to recall our time of joy
in wretchedness --

I was going to quote the part where the people are trapped in the whirlwind but I decided that part was cooler.

Why is it that the only thing I ever get for Christmas is a fucking broken heart. The only fear in life that I have has been confirmed, and I'm utterly useless now... and right before finals. Great.

Ah, it's always the existential questions that undo us.
See I can write epic lines too.
I don't think that's the right meter, come to think of it. Oh well, poetry.

Now all I have to do is sit here and let my wounded heart fester in my stomach. Maybe if I throw up, I can just throw it away and be done with it... damn thing is useless when you're alone anyway...

I don't think your heart is in your stomach. It has admittedly been a while since I've studied anatomy, but I'm almost positive your heart resides somewhere in your chest.

The experience also made me reflect on my own childhood, and I remebered that I would never "play" if there was someone else in the room, unless I was playing with them. If someone entered the room, I immediately stopped what I was doing, sometimes even trying to hide my toys from their eyes. Why? What was I afraid of?

Here's another good part:

Cerberus, fierce and monstrous beast,
barks from three gullets like a dog
over the people underneath that muck.
His eyes are red, his beard a greasy black,
his belly swollen. With his taloned hands
he claws the spirits, flays and quarters them.

Oh yeah, this bullshit. Sorry.
Giant worm Cerberus is pretty cool, though.
Now I've read and copied about five lines, read them, reread them and realize I have absolutely nothing to say about it. I'm not sure what to say to you, Sarcasticmuse23 (oi).

I realized something today. I want someone who's dangerous. Not dangerous like, date a serial killer. Dangerous for me, for my well being.

Translation: I want a guy who treats me like shit.
Good work, though. Come to this conclusion all by yourself, did you?

Maybe... spiritually challenging, would be better terminology. Anyway, I mean, I knew that already, but I think I realized why.

Spiritually challenging? Like, what, someone who calls your beliefs stupid?
Because I'd be willing to do that, shit.

Because being with somebody dangerous means there's a chance I'll get hurt. A chance for pain. GOD, why am I so self destructive??

You know what this blog needs (besides to go away)? Some nice, sugary pop music. Some stupid nothing in the background to balance out the MELODRAMA.

What I want most is always something I'll never have. You stupid emotional masochist. Why is "happy" so revolting? Hope so inconceivable?

Hooooo me. Big yawn.
Uhhh--Oh, story time:

"She slumped further into herself, as the weight of her mood drug her down, deeper and deeper, until she was almost drowning in her own thick aura. The utter heaviness of her heart made breathing difficult, and unnecessary. Despair was not with her, but left her lonely in front of her keyboard, begging for words that would not come.

Hold, I must recompose myself.
Wow, I seem to have forgotten how to read after that.

Anyway, basically, I feel like shit. Which is depressing, because I thought this would make me a lot happier. I don't even know who I am anymore.

I always love it when people say shit like that. I DON'T KNOW WHO I AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM! My natural instinct when I hear that is to hit them on the nose with a rolled up newspaper. STOP THAT. BAD.
Well this entry has already dragged on far too long, but with a picture of Godzilla and lines from Dante's Inferno I feel it's sufficiently awesome now.