Life's the same

Today we have "Embracable Aberration" (THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN ABERRATION THAT CAN BE EMBRACED, PREPARE TO BE PURGED) also known as "Eris_Devotee" and I think I'm getting douche shivers already and we're not even into the blog yet.

There are some things I owe to my mother. Among them is the fact that I'm not a racist or a bigot.

The whole Islamic center in Manhattan debate is making me insane. The constitution could not be more clear about this. I don't understand why there is a debate of any kind whatsoever.

Legally they're allowed but you know how people are and with Manhattan the size it is they couldn't find another block a little further away just to avoid controversy like they must have known they'd generate?
I say build a giant statue to Zeus in the same spot. Fuck you, monotheist.

I don't understand why 18% of Americans think Obama is a Muslim, but like Bob said - "let's say I do believe that. Now ask me if I care."

I don't know and I don't care what religion he is but I do know he's an inept fucker. He even failed to impress me at evading a serious response to this, err, "issue".
Meanwhile the Chinese are revaluing their currency but NOPE WE HAVE ISLAMIC CENTERS TO WORRY ABOUT NOT OUR CRASHING ECONOMY.
I mean if it were president they'd have to explain to me what was happening because I'd be so concerned over my logistical figures and infrastructure issues that this would be the first I'm hearing of this.
SORRY GOT ROADS TO PAVE AND ECONOMIES TO REVIVE, OUT THE WAY.

The nicotine patch is making it easy to quit cigarettes. Day 4 with minimal issues/distractions.

Day four so you're far into this quitting thing.

I think a lot about: what if I had health insurance for the past 20 years.

Based off the shit I've heard so far I'm guessing everyone would have higher premiums.

As someone who has a strong identity=mind=self=soul belief about herself, it's been a rough ride for cognitive struggles to have manifested. Some of it seems a little better, but there's a lot of unpredictability there.

What?
What the fuck does that even mean?

I need a combination of orbital decompression surgery

Err-- uh-huh?

and a shortening of the muscles behind my eyes.

... Why? Usually you hear about this in children who have listing eyes (it's really creepy check it out) and it's a birth defect, not something that sets in later.

I just figured something out that should've occurred to me before: if Graves is an auto-immune disease, then it stands to reason that it is subject to flares just like all other auto-immune diseases.

Oh, okay. I get it now. Now it all makes sense.
This doesn't happen very often, let's bask in the glow of a complete thought on Livejournal. There's a problem and we know why the problem exists.

I'm baffled. Because in every single case, I have my own ideas about how we should go about treatment.

Oh well thank you, Doctor Dumbass.

I got pissed because 1 week after I lowered my meds and stopped prednisone, all my symptoms returned. I was told there was NO WAY it could be hyperthyroidism after only 1 week of lowered meds. And lo and behold, it MUST have been the case because I went all the way back to the other end of the spectrum.

Why can't you just get your thyroid taken out?
I know for a fact this is possible and you can just take some Synthroid to overcome not having an important gland, and then you wouldn't need all these visits to doctors and medications and shit.
But I get it your life is so devoid of anything of value you do this for attention and for something to fill the void.
Do you talk about anything else? Good grief. I've run into ONE OF THESE BLOGS.
Also as a supposed "devotee to Eris" shouldn't you be glad at the discord in your life? I mean that is what Eris does, you know. I mean when your father is Erebus, god of darkness and your mother is Nyx, goddess of the night and your grandfather is CHAOS HIMSELF some decisions are just made for you.

my two best friends from youth, Kate and Darlene, both sensed how sick I was before I went to the hospital. Darlene only got what I had been posting on FB, and Kate got what I was posting on here, but both of them contacted me on the night I was feeling the worst... both of them saying they just sensed something was wrong.

WOW HOW'D YOU TWO LADIES SENSE THAT?
IT'S ALMOST LIKE SHE NEVER SHUTS UP ABOUT IT!
I sense this woman is a real twat who never stops bitching.
Oh man, am I psychic or what?
Further psychic predictions: the sun will rise tomorrow!

um... after a year with actual climate control, I can honestly say that with lupus - I shouldn't live without it.

Lupus and Graves' Disease and quitting smoking and hey wait a minute, shouldn't someone with so many immune system and endocrine system problems not be smoking in the first place? Shouldn't that be a "wow I really have to knock this off pronto or I'll fucking die" type thing?

Well, now I'm nervous/anxious/obsessing...

I called my caseworker for disability to make certain she had received the information about my most recent hospital stay.

OH MY GOD WHO GIVES A FUCK?

And then because it was unknown to the people who read my other blog, I used to to kvetch about lupus and probably just whine in general.

-USED- to?
What do you call all of this, then? Christ all mighty.

A skinny-minny - no. A curves-in-all-the-right-places, shouldn't-we-all-be-so-lucky body at almost 59 years old.

>curves
>right places
Whatever, fat people.

But I really really can't justify smoking, in any way, when semi-serious pericarditis is somewhere my lupus might venture again.

HURR DURR HURRRRRRRRRR
I think I just herped so hard I derped

I'm so fucking bored. Even beyond resting, I just need... something. If the photo shoot happens Wednesday (weather and health depending), I'll have work for a week or so but...

FFXIV beta ended the 25th, I know. But that's okay we're probably only like 2-ish weeks (at most) from the next phase of the beta and the game itself actually comes out in 25 days so it won't be too much longer.
A lot of people are worried about the fatigue system and yeah it's probably going to suck but if your primary complaint about a game is YOU CAN ONLY PLAY YOUR FAVORITE CLASS FOR --EIGHT-- HOURS then what the fuck?
It's not like it's just eight hours a week, either. Level another class you OCD bastard, Christ. That'll work the fatigue for the other class off, won't it?
Or, or if you really want to be balls to the wall (and you will because you're hardcore like that) you could level through the experience penalty.

Tension is...

Something that raises the damage you deal in Dragon Quest, yes.

I still can't shake the OMFG feeling the rises up. As in holy shit all that really just happened.

Oh don't even get me started. I got in this fucking class, right (well, sort of) and I just need to transfer into it but apparently they've lost my add/drop form in the, what, less than a block it is from the professor's office to the admissions office.
This is bullshit, absolute fucking horseshit.
Then compound this with the fact I'M TALKING MY CLASSES OUT OF ORDER OH NO I'm totally fucked for an entire year, aren't I?
Oh well just gotta get this cleared up for really Monday one way or another, I guess.
I feel like a mad man running between all these different offices inquiring about shit they don't even know about but look what I'm reduced to, honest to fuck.

ahhhhh, lust.

It's magick, the best sort, yes it is.

Did you just spell magic with a k?
I know that's how they spell it in a lot of video games because "magic" is like magician pulling a rabbit out of the hat shit and people in video games are conjuring meteors and THE DEVIL but you're not so knock it off.

I'm sitting in the waiting area of my psychiatrist's office. Of course that means I am crocheting. In walks a drug rep (they're all the same - young, pretty, hyper, phony), looks at what I am doing and says...

I scowled at her and said, "actually, it's my job."

Hey at least you're not out in the sun all day laying mortar, asshole.

I wanted to say "if it was fucking therapeutic would I be sitting here you fucking moron".

I cut some shit because I don't care and so she's actually referring to being in a psychiatrist's office. Also I'd like to mention she's married and has a child.
... SURPRISED?

I'm a third wave feminist, and proud of it.

Don't know what that means.
Don't care, either. Keep it to yourself.

I'm pro-Free Will.

Anyone else believe free will is ultimately impossible because even if you can make your own decisions the gulf between what you know and the realm of what can be known is so vast your attempts at exerting your own free will are futile and dust in the wind?
Or am I the only person that thinks of shit like this?
The term "sister-woman" came up on this post and I don't even know what the fuck is happening.

You wanna know what bites my ass lately? When people refer to me as "strong" as if that means I have more raw capacity to deal with life's shit than the person standing next to me.

Yeah, that'd bite my ass too, especially considering it's a blatant fiction.

so... didja know you could get blisters on your eyeballs?

Yeah I did. Did you know your eyelids can dissolve from the inside and they actually curl on themselves, then?
Needless to say the process of this isn't exactly easy on the corneas.
So I think I'm done with this blog now because it's just starting to repeat itself over and over and here's a question: if 2009 and 2010 are "the toughest years for your disease yet" is it getting progressively worse or are you just a drama queen?