I thirst

FFXIV patch is now.
Can't wait for that Garuda fight. I thirst for blood.
That fight is going to be fucking
sweet
speaking of unrelated things, check this shit out.
Pleasingly the Garuda fight music seems to be a knock off of Toccata and Fugue in D Minor so that'll be great.
Really baroque music fits some giant magical bird bitch scaring the shit out of you I think.

Okay, so...I'm considering getting a Mumble (like Ventrilo) server mostly because of Mom.

You see, as of the moment, most of our attempts to play TOR go like this:

Playing TOR with your mom, wow.
Actually I could just end that thought with "playing TOR".

So Vector finally broke down and gave me presents (despite my fail!attempt to break up with him.  I swear, game, if you make my character get pregnant, she is so getting an abortion.

My character was so malevolent no one loved her.
That's how you show Bioware what for.

You have been warned.  No babies if I say no. NONE!)  And not just one!  Three!  With little vaguely cryptic, strangely weird, and kind of sweet notes.

Any option that was basically "shut up and let's get down to murder" was the one I picked. NO TIME FOR YOUR BULLSHIT, ANYONE. YOU ARE HERE TO PROP ME UP DURING MURDER.
Don't care that the blue bitch is some kind of kinky sex slave, don't care that some guy is something with his career, don't care that some Jedi bitch is doing the so edgy and deep goth thing in her 20s, don't care that some Irish guy is some sort of elite black ops dude--
Then I quit the game.
Great.

The presents don't make much sense, but that's okay.  I don't care. They're presents.  And I'm sure that Vector really thought he was being romantic when he sent me notes where he:

No one gave my character presents.

3.  Some odd ball stuff about the smell and taste of my character being all he knows about her, which would probably come off as creepy if this wasn't being delivered by bug!Sheldon. 

Yeah some yahoo tried that with my character.
Then she force choked him to death.
I was never prouder.

So, I have a new favorite class in TOR.  This would be the Jedi Counselor. Why, you may ask.  Well, because somehow Bioware managed to get a pretty, pretty Jedi Princess into an MMO, and it is awesome.

There are many amazing things about this class.  The first is that I can be so freaking bitchy in virtually all dialogue options.

Nope don't care time for killing.
Glad I picked Sith Warrior because I don't think I could have handled dialogue very well otherwise.
Mostly because her sarcastic expression neatly mirrors my own at every single hamfisted attempt at witty dialogue on Bioware's part.

There is almost always the opportunity to explain that someone is stupid, that they're an idiot or that I hate them.

What a great game.
Really a great game for women because the game play only gets in the way of shopping at the mall, talking on the cellphone and talking to boys once in a while.

There are also ample opportunities to explain why I had to slaughter tribes of small children or leave villagers to perish in flames

My character killed someone for even asking her why she executed an entire tribe of natives.
You'd think he would have been smart enough to not question why the murder machine murdered someone.

But even better is my first love interest. You see, he's this totally smarmy guy who has a thing for his droid assistant. Yes.  He is a guy who, despite that I can flirt with him (and I suspect sleep with him as he'll become a companion), would really rather be playing WoW and sleeping with the avatar of some guy pretending to be a girl. 

And yet my character also had this problem. Everyone, man or woman, flung themselves at her.
I guess people just like psychotic-level killing instinct mixed with sorcerous powers.
I guess she had a hot accent and was a brown girl so people could overlook the obvious personality flaws.

For instance, by the end of my game, my character had been physically tortured at least three times, threatened with sexual assault, and had at least two sexual encounters (one reasonably graphic) that appeared to disgust her. 

I didn't even know your character could get tortured. Mine was always doing that.
Can you suck at an MMO?
I guess so.

This is in addition to having her allies tortured, killed, and threatened, having her own side betray her multiple times (and worked to betray them a few times), and quite literally lost her mind and free will for a third of the game. 

Wow.
Robbed of your free will for a third of the game, so just like playing an MMO.
FUCKING ZING.

It is OMG grimdark on an epic scale. It’s one of the few games that I had to turn off and step away from.

That's grimdark?
A little torture and some sex?
You really don't know the meaning of grimdark, do you?

So...my now second highest character is a Jedi Counselor. I'm kind of annoyed, in that I imagined her as all evil and Machievellian, yet the game is still making her wander around the galaxy, sacrificing her own life to heal other people.

Evil and Machiavellian?
ONLY A JEDI COULD BE LIKE THIS!
Idiot.
You know when you first made a character you had the blue swirly army and the red hexagon army?
Guess which one visually looked evil and Machiavellian?
The one you didn't pick, dipshit.
Here's a post entitled "affection in SWTOR is weird" and I'm tired of talking about this game now.
I don't know what affection is like in that game, actually.

Anyway, so Nano, as some of us are aware of, is short for "National Write a Novel Month".  Which inherently isn't a horrible thing.  I mean, sometimes you need to force yourself to write and not edit to get anything done. I get that, and honestly think that good stuff can come out of it, provided the author is willing to edit a lot.

No it can't.
Invariably shitty fanfiction and worse derivative shlock comes from national suck a cock month.

Let me throw out that the last words are key to the success of this project.

Anyway, I wandered over to the forums today and saw "find beta readers", which made me think, "Oh, yay! People get that novels need to be edited before they're worth reading!"

Most of the best writers didn't really need editors or proofreaders. They did all that themselves.

It took me 6,500 words to get my protagonist laid for the first time in the story.  (He had to make his dramatic exit first, fend off the wiles of his betrothed, and escape the evil clutches of his antagonist!)  I'm wondering if that's too long or just right.  Huh.

Took me two entire paragraphs before the violence started so I'm guessing that's a bit long.
Then again I'm not one for fucking around in writing so I guess that's par for the course.
Another reason I'm the best alive.
Anyway back. Fucked off and did other stuff then I tried the new FFXIV patch.
Beat Garuda easy mode literally 10 seconds before the entire game went down for 5 hours of emergency maintenance.
Those servers sure are fucked up, man.
Hope they don't roll back my Garuda victory.
It's a cool fight, too. Similar to Ifrit and Moogle but less frantic which is interesting because they played up how frantic Garuda was and how she's MADE OF WIND and shit. You have to hide behind rocks though which is an interesting mechanic.
Not sure she's different enough from the last two to warrant the "hardest boss we've ever had in this game" tag, though. She's pretty much straight damage with a big explosive move followed by increased damage.
I guess the plumage move that blows up the rocks you use to hide is pretty original but then again everyone I was with knew instantly what those were about.
I guess Garuda feels more defensive than Ifrit, which was basically an evasion fight and the Moogles, which was 100% offense.
Oh right, blogs.
... Man this blog is all about cosplaying. I guess I should be thankful it isn't fanfiction but come on.
Oooooh nope. Going to sleep.
Goodbye.

Compromise is the last bastion of defeat

I tried to update Friday but no one was posting shit. I think it's safe to say blogging is almost (finally) dead.
But as long as there are blogs like this I'll be vigilant.
I'm skipping the first entry because I can't bring my eyes to focus long enough to read it.
The second post caught my attention because it's entitled "hate speaks for itself" and I almost considered using that as the title of this entry but she means it in a negative way and I was thinking it sounded like a Warhammer quote.

On the internet we read a lot of homophobic hate speech but I think it is often not treated as severely as it should be.

It's the fucking internet. Trying to stem the tide of the shit wave that is the internet is impossible.
I'm still here, aren't I? Still trying to stop blogging. It's futile.

Ok I have finished Mass Effect 3 and I am going to have to squee. There is so much good here.

Mass Effect 3, the game universally panned by almost everyone not a professional reviewer getting paid to turn out a 10/10?

ME 2 and ME3 I don’t think the whole “clips” concept worked. They had a nice idea with ammo in the first game – and I don’t think the whole “heat sink” idea made a whole lot of sense the way it was implemented.

Really, the heat system in 1 didn't make sense?
So firing superheated gas at enemies wouldn't cause the gun to heat up?
Genius.

And, besides, you never ran out of ammo so why bother?

Yes, why bother with things like balance and logic?

On inclusion – lots of it and I loved it. And I loved my romance with Estevan (Kaidan, alas, died in ME1 for me) but more than anything what impressed me is that Estevan is gay. I mean, even if my Shepherd is straight as straight can be, Estevan is still gay. He isn’t the gay option thrown in to placate me and hidden away if you don’t want him. He’s gay, he’s mourning his husband and he will talk about it.

Don't care. Busy killing.
Don't care about that blue bitch's quest for knowledge and I don't care about that bitch in the hazmat suit's peoples' plight.
Don't care about that fag's whining or that other bitch's racism.
It's just me, Wrex and that weird alien guy.
Yeah, the three fucking guys killing shit and saving the galaxy.
When this is all over we're going to have so many blue bitches, holy shit.
And then I never played any of the sequels.
What a great game.

 Similarly you can walk through the Citadel and hear a woman talk about her wife. While romancing these character is an option, there existence is not. They are there. And that impressed me.

Whatever out of the way I'm going to the gun store.
Blue bitches won't ride my super tech cock if I can't beat these assholes in some bullshit lab doing illegal cloning research.
Too many targets. Can't solve this diplomatically because I chose to sink points into firing guns instead of whining so my only option is murder.
Your plight doesn't interest me. Stand back and let me save you from alien collectivisms bent on killing all life.

And to describe how much I loved this? I’m tempted to do a play through of the whole series, one after the other. Yes yes I am.

I seem to recall getting that game a few days after Christmas a few years ago then beating it before break ended. That's not really a feat.

So, I was talking about how Beloved’s parents aren’t exactly super-duper thrilled about be, or mine about him for that matter – and I was quickly informed by an empathetic person that they totally understood, they didn’t get on well with their in-laws either. See, they understood what it was to be rejected by your loved one’s family.

Great.
Don't care.

But it’s not a matter of my in-laws not liking me or my parents not liking Beloved. Even if Beloved or I were completely different men, our parents would still be hostile. 

Oh this is a guy.
Of course.
I'm just glad I can keep score for once.

We cannot have a relationship that would possibly meet their approval. Every potential relationship is wrong. It would actually be better for us not to have relationships, in their eyes, than have any of the relationships open to us. Our very capacity to love is flawed in their eyes. They weren’t just rejecting our partners, they were rejecting us. And that is so extremely different from your in-laws not liking you very much. 

K.
You're right. We are completely unalike.
ANYWAY ALIENS TO KILL.
Or because I'm still playing Deus Ex it's FEMA and other government assholes to kill.
OH NO ADAM! FEMA!
Who gives a shit, Frank? Unless FEMA is code for "I can't snap their necks" I'll solve this somehow.
Then one of them caught me hacking one of their computers.
Fuck it time to escalate this motherfucker.
Have you seen my armor piercing assault rifle yet?
No?
Let me acquaint your spine with it.
MMMMMMMMMMMM YEAH.

*deep breaths* my temper is frayed on this one. I’ve just come across a blog post by a straight person who is most displeased that the GBLT community is not more up in arms and outraged by the group beating of Brandon White in Atlanta. She wanted to see more outpouring of… I don’t even know what. Outrage, grief, anger, shock? She judges us for not reacting more forcefully to the gay bashing and not paying more attention to it.

Oh look it's some Russian bitch who can turn invisible.
Real fucking neato, super spy. Hope you're a fan of Dirty Harry, Natasha, because I have a 44 mag you can suck on.
All the invisibility in the world sure didn't stop that hot lead, huh?
Now that was a great fucking game.
Know how many romance options there are in Deus Ex?
Fucking none. Not a single one. Too busy being future Dirty Harry.

So, I just saw a wonderful whine about the new Mass Effect 3 and apparently, of the new love interests, there are no EXCLUSIVE heterosexuals (i.e. they’re all gay or bi). Note, this doesn’t mean that you can’t have an opposite sex pairing – there are bisexual love interests and your straight love interests from the last 2 games which, in case you have forgotten, included ZERO same-sex relationships (oh you could have female bisexual flings, but no relationships).

I'm currently reliving every act of violence I've ever committed in a video game right now. Are you still whining about fictional relationships?
K, glad to see I haven't missed anything.
Seriously you're playing a game where you're a space soldier with optional robot eyes and you're charged with stopping an alien collective from eradicating all life in the galaxy and your concern is whether you can fuck other dudes?
If it's that fucking important to you, your imaginary gay life, you can save the galaxy and I imagine every ass in the galaxy would be yours because YOU SAVED THE FUCKING GALAXY.
All the waifu options in Mass Effect were underwhelming from the start so I just focused on being as hardcore as possible because I imagined Shepard would have a million waifus if he succeeded in the mayhem I was contemplating.
Am I the only person who still plays video games to have fun?

But but but shouldn’t heterosexuals be equally represented?! Equality should be equal!!!

Yes, equality should be equal. This is correct.

I just want to kill aliens with advanced weaponry. I don't care about heterosexuality or homosexuality or dualspirited furry transgenders in my games.
I want to sneak up on cybernetically enhanced gangbangers and kill them with my sword hands. I don't give a fuck about any of this other bullshit.
If you're going to tell a good story fucking do it and make it like Lost Odyssey or Persona 3. Make me feel interested about these characters as individuals and not fucking platforms for your misguided sociology nonsense.
If you're going the societal issues route you better make it like Deus Ex and make it an issue I care about otherwise I'll just focus on everything not that.

So Janet W. Hardy is writing a book that she has a kickstarter page to announce. And the book is called Girlf@g. (I am not linking to it, the last thing I won’t is for even one link from me to add so much as a penny into having this homophobic book put on the shelves)

Kickstart is basically institutionalized begging where you can tell people to give you money and you'll make this thing for them.
Lots of video games are being developed like this now and they'll all universally suck because you're paying for something before it even exists.
Fuck it, I made 2 million before I even started this shitty game. You can eat shit and like it, idiots.

Yes Girlf@g. Though Hardy, of course, doesn’t remotely have the respect to disemvowel the slur –if she did she wouldn’t have used the slur in the first place. And this book is about? Women who are sexually attracted to gay men. No, let's not even be that respectful. A book for women who fetishise f@gs, since that's the term this woman uses. Oh yay there’s a book about the fetishists now.

How to count the many things wrong with this?

Fuck it I made my cool thirteen million by being controversial. Peace, bitches.

So over in the US the Violence against Women Act has become partisan because it contains inclusive clauses for GBLT people, undocumented migrants and Native Americans

Which means, for these over-privileged arseholes, they were willing to scupper this bill – and throw all those women who desperately need this out because their hatred is more important than saving women’s lives.

If the government really wants to protect women from scumbags they should give me some cybernetics because I think I've successfully demonstrated that in test environments I am utterly lethal to scumbags.
Here's a post entitled "another rant about my labels"
MY LABELS I MUST AFFIX THEM TO MY BODY--
I AM HEMORRHAGING LABELS!
HELP I AM DYING OF LABEL LOSS--
FAREWELL.

Yes it’s time to say it again. Not particularly because I think it’ll stop people calling me it, but at least it lets me vent, and why have a blog if you can’t vent when you need it?

Do not call me queer. Yes I’ve said it before and I’ll probably say it 100 times more. Do not call me Queer. I don’t care what the word means to you or how you identify or why – that’s your identity and your label, not mine. Do not use it to refer to me.

How about asshole?
Can I refer to you as an asshole?

And don’t try to poke or police me into accepting the label. Don’t make assumptions about me because I refuse to use your preferred terms.

My using the word gay doesn’t make me conformist. It doesn’t mean I’m not an activist. It doesn’t mean I secretly want to be straight. It doesn’t mean I’m not REALLY fighting for equality. It doesn’t mean I’m not a real gay man. It doesn’t mean I don’t REALLY face discrimination or that I don’t know what prejudice and bigotry really means. Pack up your shaming and get the fuck out if you think these things because I am beyond sick of it.

I've created a handy list of labels you can use when addressing me:
The Bane of Kings
The Red Wake
Uncontested Slaughter Master
The Last True Scion of Zeus
The Baleful Fire
If you're going to affix labels to your body you better pick some fucking labels, man.

To me that word is attached to my bones that ache because they’ve been broken. That word is attached to the scars on my arms and my back.

Hey man I know some chicks are into kinky shit like that but I don't really want to hear about it unless you're brown or Asian. And hot.

That is a word of my nightmares and memories that still haunt me. I take a cocktail of pills to keep my brain working because of the echoes of that word.

 HEH GOT HIM.
I added the boldface, if that wasn't apparent.

You have no right to decide I should use and claim this word. You have no right to demand I just swallow that and “get over it” and move on so I can follow your word choice.

My life. My being. My labels. Respect them or get out, simple as.

I prefer the first two titles, incidentally.
Respect them or get out.

So, Louis C. K. has joined the legions of those downplaying Tracy Morgan’s bigotry and chiding gay people for our reaction to blatant homophobia

So let’s address some things here, Louis.

Louis C.K. is probably the best comedian alive--
If he says something is funny I'm inclined to agree.

You found it hilarious. Really? A joke about stabbing a gay child you found hilarious? You know why we can’t laugh at this shit? Because it happens, Louis.

 He also makes jokes about rape and killing elderly people. I'm pretty sure he's not serious.

He is on a comedy stage – do you think that makes it better?

Yes.
It literally does.

You know nothing. You understand nothing and you’re choking on your privilege.
Don’t tell us what would be more effective, straight man. Don’t tell us how we should react.

K got it.

I've been putting it off for months, but this wreck is way past its useby date. I have a blank desktop and 101 broken start menu links, in fact broken files all over the shop, it keeps freezing on me, half the programmes don't work the other half are unreliable at best.

computer programs are always spelled the American way.
Yeah that's right I'm correcting a British man about British spelling.
That's how top fucking pro at English I am.
Also time to reinstall Windows dipshit no need to buy a new computer.

So another bigoted arsehole has decided to open his mouth to defend poor oppressed Christians in the UK Who are being crushed under the “pink jackboot” and he needs to oppose the “Gaystapo”

Christfags sure do love playing that persecution card. I don't even understand how you can pretend to be persecuted when you're 80% of the industrialized nations' population.
When my people, the Romans, (allegedly) fed your people to lions that was persecution. You people are just whining about some bullshit I don't care about.

Yes, Nazi analogies. I'm putting aside the malicious vileness of claiming GBLT people are oppressing Christians when Christianity is pushing so much homophobic and transphobic hatred because it's eclipsed by the sheer nauseating evil of comparing GBLT people to Nazis.

There's an ironclad defense if I've ever heard it. "It's okay because Christians are the Nazis!"

So I've quit WoW. 

WOW MASS EFFECT AND WORLD OF WARCRAFT!?
Sure you're not a girl?

Partly because I wanted the time, partly because even with 6/7 hc bosses progress before nerf still didn't seem fun and partly, with our guild going from transition with our server dying, it was looking like I'd have to go to other places with other guilds aaaand... that sounded as much fun as putting my foot in a blender.

Oh yeah gotta rush through the boring leveling to get to the boring end game raids--
can't wait to play this gringo motherfuck in a heroic, fuck yes.
SO MUCH FUUUUUUN WoW REVOLUTIONIZED VIDEO GAMES.
I will bet a thousand dollars right fucking now that this'll some how wrap around to gay shit.
I mean goddamn. I play an MMO (FFXIV) and yet I don't somehow tie this into how fucking straight I am, do I?

I've been lucky in my guild. S & I have been GM of it since raiding Gruuls lair back in the day. We were insular, kept to our own and had a very strict policy – your fuckery will not be tolerated here. 

That's one of my rules in my linkshell, too.
No meme spouting
No general faggotry
No bullshit whining
I hate you
You're going to hell.

No boss will be “raped”, nothing was “gay” unless they were actually homosexual and no racial abuse was remotely tolerated.

I don't know if there are any gays in my LS but I know I'm a minority as a white man and the racial slurs fly like fucking mad regardless.
No one gives a single fuck.
You know that's the thing about being cool as hell. You don't give a shit about this nonsense because you're too busy having a job and doing shit to worry about nonsense.
And no one there is actually racist. Hell, the core of this group agrees we'd probably be friends in real life if it had come to that.

If you didn't like it we weren't going to argue or debate with you – we'd kick you. Get out.

I've never kicked a single person.
Your presence might not be tolerated, but if I have to kick you for your bullshit I'd have to kick at least three other people for the same reason.

Because, ultimately, I'm quitting WoW because I don't want a hobby that involves so much homophobia dodging.

Outside of FPSs, MMOs are probably one of the more homophobic communities in gaming.
They're not outright hostile about it but the anti-gay terminology is pretty much rooted in the lexicon of these games. You picked a really shitty thing to involve yourself with if that's what offends you.
I can't even recall the number of times I've heard something called a cocksucker in FFXIV alone.

Oh and all you straight cis people “you're offended because they insulted the alliance” really? Really you privileged arseholes? Someone sings a rant full of anti-gay slurs and you think we give a shit about the freaking FACTION insults?! Get a clue, get some perspective and wake up. 

What kind of fag picks a Lalafell anyway?
AM I RIGHT?
And I'd never call a gay man a fag.
Unless he was acting like one.
Anyway this is fucking boring. I'm going to go play the video games.

Oh my God I gotta review this shit

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH.
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Cats or dogs-- which do you prefer, and why?

Thanks a lot for this writer's block incidentally, Livejournal.
Jackass.
Remember when I told you you needed to help me out here? Ever since you got rid of categories you've had to make this writer's block garbage good.
This is you not helping a guy out.

Cats. Cats are smaller, less of a hassle, always go to the bathroom in the same place (for the most part), are quieter, and can pretty much take care of themselves.

Except when you have to feed and groom and clean their shit box and when they hassle you a million times a day for treats they don't eat.
Otherwise 100% self sufficient.

Dogs are better for more interactive people, not that there's anything wrong with that.

Why am I reading "more interactive people" as "people with a personality"?
OH MY GOD HERE'S A LIST OF HER TOP FIVE FAVORITE PAIRINGS!
I'M FUCKING GIDDY AT THE PROSPECT OF BEING ABLE TO READ ABOUT HER FAVORITE PAIRINGS!!

) Rick O'Connell x Evelyn Carnahan (The Mummy, The Mummy Returns)
~I love the chemistry between these two in The Mummy.

Whatever.

2) Asakura Yoh x Tao Ren (Shaman King by Hiroyuki Takei)
~Let's be serious here, I think even Takei ships these two (good God Ren, do you ever put on a shirt?).

I used to watch this show when I was 14 and I don't seem to recall any gay sex in it at all.
In fact I'm pretty sure they were both engaged to women despite being, well, 14 themselves.

Their rivalry and ensuing friendship is focused on the most out of Yoh's friendships with anyone else, and through knowing him, Ren became a better person--or rather, the person he always wanted to be. Yoh also ran right off to China to rescue Ren from his father despite only knowing him a short time, and was willing to abandon his dream

He can't just be a good guy. It must be gay lust.
I don't care about this, why am I reading it?
Here's her review of Amnesia: The Dark Descent. It's a computer game about being tormented by a weird flesh monster and you can't see shit and it's supposed to be scary I guess although the only scary part of it was the monster headache I got due to the annoying sound effects.

FUCK YEAH, I finally took down this bitch of a PC horror game. *sips celebratory Sunkist*

I figure I may as well review it while I'm still in the mood, so here's my two cents for anyone who hasn't played this little gem from Frictional Games yet. I have to say for a team of only about five people, they did fairly well. They got some top-notch voice acting and the level designs are well done and intricate. The music is awesome too. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Can't wait to read 15 paragraphs without a single mention of game play.

How's the game play? Let me start off by saying this is a horror-survival game.

... Oh.
All right.
You know I was going to talk about how I can't fucking believe someone brought up game play in a video game but this is exactly what you should be doing so I'm going to save the sarcasm and say it's about fucking time one of you cunts got the hang of video games.

When I say survival, I mean it. Like Silent Hill - Shattered Memories (which this game trumps by a mile IMO), you are not given any sort of weapon in the game. You learn there is nothing you can do against the monsters chasing you or "the shadow." You, as Daniel, have to rely on running your ass off and hiding in the darkness to escape enemies. Seems easy, right? Wrong.

Easy as fuck.
If you get a game over in Amnesia you are fucking stupid.

The darkness is a double-edged sword that hides you from enemies but also drives Daniel insane the longer he sits in it. Going insane messes up your vision, makes it difficult to walk and gives you all sorts of sound effects that make it rather difficult to focus.

Make it difficult to THINK STRAIGHT GOD MY HEAD FUCKING HURTS PLAYING THIS GARBAGE.
I'd just let the monster kill me to end the agony that is my head if I were Daniel.
What a pussy. HURRR MONSTERS ARE SCARY AND DARKNESS IS SCARY man up you puss.
The darkness makes Daniel insane are you fucking kidding me? How old is he, 9?

This is not a great thing to have happen when you're stuck in a dungeon with very little light. This is a game that requires you to be very careful with your supply of necessities, mostly tinderboxes (matches) for lighting candles and so forth, and lantern oil. (I hoarded the hell out of the tinderboxes myself--I suggest doing the same and lighting them sparingly until you really need to conserve your lantern oil. This is where the tinder comes in most handy, and I had over 30 left by the time I finished.)

"I had over 30 by the time I finished"
"but you have to hoard them"
"but I had 30 of them"
"but you have to hoard them"
You know--
forget it.

The game is part survival, part puzzle-solving for the most part. It requires you to pay attention to your surroundings, and most of all, to be a snoop. Look around everywhere you go--you'll find interesting things.

So what I've gotten in one massive paragraph about game play is that in a survival horror game the main point of the game is surviving horror.
I'm not going to be too mean about this because I'm very pleased you mentioned game play at all let alone first but still that is somewhat redundant.
Also "you'll find some interesting things", really?
IN A VIDEO GAME?
INTERESTING THINGS?
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW.

The appeal of the game is the story and atmosphere. The beginning itself tells you that this is not a game you play to win--it's about immersing yourself in the story, the helplessness of the amnesia-stricken protagonist, and finding out what happened to cause all the ensuing insanity.

AKA "we couldn't figure out how to balance a game for difficulty so we're just going to pretend this is an immersive experience."

This game has four endings in total depending on what you choose to do. The endings in my opinion could have been a little bit longer, and the most satisfying one can be a pain in the ass to get if you aren't sure what to do. But that said, two out of the four endings aren't really bad. Your opinion of them will depend on your perception of Daniel and his story.

Really one of the first survival horror games, Clock Tower, had 9 endings.
Am I the only one that feels we've moved backwards sometimes?

What is the strangest thing someone has confessed to you?

I had a guy confess to me he got a boner once while shooting a deer.
It was me and these two chicks and all I could do was make a concerned face at them.
I was just sure one of them was next, you know.
I even offered to walk them to their cars after class.
Why in the fuck would you say that to someone?
They refused and he never came back to class. True fucking story.
I'm just sure they're both girl suits by now.
Sorry I could help you but you really should have let me walk you to your cars~
That guy also used to hum Pokemon theme songs in class. Really loudly before class.
It was so fucking weird.

A few years ago a guy I worked with but hardly knew told me out of nowhere while we were working how he and a friend were mugged once,

You're not trumping my story don't even try.
Holy Christ this entry was flagged as 18+.
I just agreed to 14+, why are you changing the ratings on me?
Oh.
She's looking for a gay anime porno.
I'd keep that shit to myself if I were you.
Here's her top 10 favorite girl names.
Because I was sure wondering.

Top 10 Girl Names: Lydia, Chynna, Star, Clare, Liesel, Bianca, Harmony, Joy, Joyce, Irene

Do you want your girl to grow up to be a porn star?
Chynna, are you fucking kidding me?
Lydia's all right I suppose.
Star is nope.
Claire is the nondouche spelling.
Liesel is a word you made up--
Bianca is nope--
Harmony, why?
Joy is all right if she's Chinese.
Joyce is the same.
Irene the same too, actually.
So unless these are Chinese girls this list is unacceptable.

Top 10 Boy Names: Wesley, Siegfried, Dante, Micah, Ivan, Travis, Dolph, Colin, Marik/Malik, Tobias

Why do you hate your children?

Top 10 Unisex Names: Hillary, Kelly, Mika, Reese, Hope, Angel, Seto, Gabriel, Artemis, Chance

Gabriel is a man's name
Hillary is a girl's name
so is Kelly
Reese is a candy--
Hope is a stripper's name--
Seto is a last name--
Artemis is a goddess' name and I don't suffer this heresy lightly--
Chance is a concept, not a name.
What is this shit?

In a bit of pretty ridiculous news, this woman is paying $50,000 dollars to have her dog cloned.

I know this is my "positive" journal but it's shit like this that makes me want to pack up my bags and leave the planet: people spending what some of us don't even make a year to revive a stupid dog that isn't even that cute to begin with. I'm against cloning personally for numerous reasons

Recidivist.
Why do you hate progress?
Also who are you to judge how she spends her money?
You just had a post about your Pokemon dolls.
I say if this idiot wants to fund glorious cloning technology by making dumb decisions we should welcome her.

I only find the practice acceptable if it's for the benefit of medical research (like cloning cancer-resistant cells or something).

People don't do research for free, idiot. Cloning dogs for 50k a pop gives that lab money to do more research.
And then cybernetics at some point.
I hope.
I'm a quarter through my life about, guys. You want to hurry this shit along while I'm alive?

But this is just fucking stupid. All of that money could have been used to help hundreds of animals find loving homes or be rescued from terrible ones, but nope, this broad is obsessed with bringing one dumb mutt back to life.

This is like Biblical shit. This is sorcery.

Loving a pet is great, but in situations like this, you should ask yourself how completely out of your mind you are to want something like this. The dog isn't going to be the same as your first one no matter how hard you try anyway--you can't clone souls.

I call bullshit.
No such thing as a soul.
Here's a post where she blames Square Enix for a bad year (seriously)--
Man, Square can't catch a fucking break.
Look I hated FF13 as much as you can hate something but cool it with that shit.

Also FUCK the damn Elite Four in Pearl. Level 70 Poke'mon while I'm still stuck around 45-50 when I actually get there? Fuck no. I am not going to commit another X amount of hours VERY SLOWLY leveling up my Poke'mon just to beat a bunch of assholes in a game I couldn't care less about.

Haha having trouble with Pokemon games is this kid serious?
Oh my God so much bullshit in this blog I'm not reading.
I finished all Edie's artifact armor.
I gotta save the pictures for a really slow day--
like Wednesday, probably, but here's one:
Exposed midriff, smart move for armor you're using to deflect bites from dragons.
I guess looking slutty is more important than not getting fucking killed when you're Edie Hart.
Not that anything can actually kill Edie Hart.
Anyway I gotta go put salad on a shelf tomorrow.
For nine hours.
Starting at 5 AM.
Why are people shopping at 5 AM?
That's the most disturbing part of this job in my opinion.
I mean I have to be here-- if I'm not I get fired.
Why are you here?
Oh God why am I still reading this shitty blog?
Anyway I'm out.
LIKE SHOUT.

A boon to reward my faith

I find Livejournal waxes and wanes, like a tide of raw sewage. Some days finding a likely target is as simple as opening the Writer's Block responses-- other days it is quite literally hours of hunting.
Lately I've been feeling the tide of shit waning but, by Zeus, the swarm rises to meet me.

Why is freedom of speech important to you?

I believe there is only one man in history with writing talent enough to properly explain why this question is bullshit (hi it's me I'm that man)
"Your freedom is illusory. There is no such thing as freedom: merely a longer leash."
Gain power or freedom, become a slave to paranoia.

Silence is dull! As a gay rights activist and a feminist, the freedom to discuss and share my view with others is vital

What makes your views vital?
Looks like typical Livejournal bullshit to me, in fact.
That really is the incredible hypocrisy of Livejournal: let the pigs squeal at their supposed loss of their freedom of speech and oddly all the squeals start to sound identical.
Show me an original mind on Livejournal and I will show you someone entitled to their freedoms.

The contemporary philosopher looks to classical theology and spiritualism, in an attempt to reform humanism from its nihilistic tenancies.

Although tenancy is a word, the word you're looking for is tendency.

Ok im now 23, studying Philosophy at Sheffield University, and significantly happier than when I was at Aberystwyth (judged by the shit existentialist poetry)...Im gonna try and turn this blog into an LGBT and Womens page, whilst discussing international issue of interest! Much love

A philosophy major, oh boy.
Have you ever met anyone more pretentious than a philosophy major?
You really just need to look through this blog and hunt down a philosophy major (they're a regular target here) to see why they are so bad.
Oh boy it's poetry time.
I can't even remember the last time we had poetry time on Edie Finds a Corpse.

The mercury pages fold and snap upon the vigil shore

Informing men that the lines of ownership and god-given land still exist, however transparent

A malevolent wind strips bricked encasements of paint and workmanship

Chipping away at history, billowing down dusty alleys, sweeping forgotten pages into the sea

Seagulls scream for recognition, battling against blue hunger and cloud, they float unsteady in the breeze

The fuck am I reading?

Dungaree clad sailors shrink against an aggressive morning, bent double like a vacillating newborn

A solitary ship makes its call into port within the grey mist and obscurity



Piercing the darkness with its stolid stance, an angel points westwards

Awaiting storm and sun, embracing all and rejecting none

I'm going to stop reading here.
This is complete shit but I can't say it's objective worse than any of the poetry I had to read in Modern Poetry class.
That's not a compliment to this poem so much as it is a commentary on how shit poetry is.
I remember the one cool poet we read in that entire class was this guy who wrote a book of poems like three years ago about being a soldier in Afghanistan and there was this legit poem called something like "Last Call, Motherfucker".
Dude was even set to speak to the class but no he canceled at the last minute (can't say I blame him).

We live in the time of the human. The majority of the world rejects a higher entity and a higher power; therefore we are left to contemplate the human. Existentialism does just this, it’s scary and dramatic, and not always rewarding. Existential philosophy had been considered the explicit conceptual manifestation of an existential attitude that begins with a sense of disorientation and confusion in the face of an apparently meaningless or absurd world.

Thanks for this, philosophy 101.
Am I really letting this ignorant slut preach to me?
I could be playing FFXIV or something. I HAVE FUCKING IRON GREAVES TO MAKE.

Aberystwyth is a difficult place to be gay. I have heard it be called the epicentre of the gay community for Wales several times, but I have yet to experience this amazing gay culture that is spoken so highly of.

Might part of the problem with Aberystwyth be that it's named Abersytwyth? It took me like five tries to type that the two entire times I typed it. Is there a typing equivalent to a tongue twister?
I just found it regardless.

It's not that Wales is a hermetic place, wreathed in Christian law and intensely homophobic, in fact far from it.

The influence of the hedonistic students seems to give the place a rather progressive liberal feel, but this doesn't make up for the fact that the place is so minute.

I thought I had something to say to this but I don't.
I'm really trying to muster up enough fuck to type something on topic but I just can't.

A part of me feels eviscerated if I cannot experience sexually the wonders that university life has to offer me.

Is there a reason you're using your 50 cent vocabulary as often as you can outside of to piss me off?

I have yet to come to a conclusion about the relationship between student life and sex. It's a vital part of student life and it dominants a large proportion of students thoughts,

Dominates*
There is a difference between dominant and dominates. Perhaps if you stopped being pretentious for three seconds you'd find out what it is.

but it is not a necessity and many people go through university being carefree and focusing on their work rather than their sex-lives.

Yet this is difficult for gay people in Aberystwyth, we have no gay bar therefore no epicentres of congregation.

We have limited sized groups surrounding LGTB matters and it seems embarrassing to be affiliated with these types of organisation.

So you have a means to get what you seek but you're just too cowardly to take it?
And this is somehow the problem of this town of yours?
This town that must be pronounced like someone clearing their throat?

Students are well known for being paradoxal creatures of both excess and destitution simultaneously. A perfect analogy of this statement would be my weekend-past. I am a current member of the debating union at my university, its fairly intense stuff most of the time.

Someone tried to get me to join the debate society at my college once.
I got to try a sample debate. It was this: which is better, night or day?
My response?
"I don't have time to debate nonsense."
No response.
Looks like my skills are superior to the debate club.
The rest of the story is complete nonsense that I don't care about.

Many have argued that student life is a liberated and effortless lifestyle, that we just get drunk and spend a few hours a month hurriedly writing out pitiable essays.

That's because most of you do.
You can't fool me. I was there.

It’s imperative to look into the reasons why many people view students as sub-human, prole like characters.

That's because you write garbage like this on Livejournal and think your opinion matters.

I realise that the main argument in the defence (or offence) of these studentphiles is that students don’t work, therefore they have not earned their right to claim the dowry of the land as it were.

It'd be studentphobes, you dumb slut.
Studentphiles would be people who love students.

This evidently streams from our capitalist society and the formation of our education.

...
I'm going to need to see this evidence.

People go to university now not only to excel academically, but to mainly earn more money than people who do not graduate. This should not be the reasoning behind a university choice, yet for many it is the decisive factor and this I feel relinquishes the very concept of higher education.

This "knowledge for the sake of knowledge" philosophy is fine until you need a job.
This entry just kind of ends without really making a point.
Not that philosophy majors need a reason to be pretentious but I find it's usually a good idea to come to a point eventually.
Not that you have to be in any hurry, or anything. No sense being polite to your reader now, after all this.

It’s a likely fact that if you were to sit down with such active feminists as Germaine Greer and discus the implications of the sex industry upon eastern European women in the twentieth century, its highly likely that you will be subject to hours and hours of passionate debates and full hearted feministic anger, but I’m going to take a different stream of thought with the feminists, I’m not going to discuss feminism and female power, but simply take a brief look at women throughout the ages,

If I were so lucky to talk to Germaine Greer.
I haven't even heard of Germaine Greer. Who is Germaine Greer?
I'd look it up on Wikipedia but it looks like the internet is doing a FINE JOB OF CENSORING ITSELF RIGHT NOW.
DON'T NEED TO PASS SOPA, USA. EVERYONE WILL CENSOR THEMSELVES TO SHOW WHAT A BIG MEANIE HEAD YOU ARE.
She says "look at some women in history" but she looks at exactly one historical woman and that woman is Margaret Thatcher.

"In terms of success, Margaret Thatcher had the backup, in the sense that she had a man who was willing to pay for her very expensive campaigns but also pay for the childcare that was needed, so she could enter politics as a man and that was very important."

She's quoting some yahoo I've never heard of.
So there you have it, I suppose. To be successful in politics is to either be or act like a man.
FEMINISM.
This post ends with her claiming (assuming) that a dead Iranian politician is somehow a martyr for the rights of women.
And that's the first entry in this blog.
Jesus Christ on a fucking cross.
Siobhan (as that is your first name),
Can I call you Siobhan? Because I feel like you've put me through a lot.
This is Tim. Hi. I'm using my first name.
This blog is awful.
You are an illiterate, pretentious cunt and possibly a bad person.
I think you should do the world a favor and stop posting forever.
Signed,
Tim.

Oh

Hi.
Get ready to witness this guy's mess of a life.

When was the last time you said thank you?

Not two hours ago when me and a bunch of intrepid adventurers purged death cultists from the face of FFXIV.
RECIDIVISTS, HERETICS AND MUTANTS.

I'm saving up my "Thank you's" until after the divorce :) .

Oh yep, I clicked on this blog purely for the promise of divorce drama.
And it delivered, so here we are.
At first I reckoned this to be a woman but a quick rethinking of that stance and I decided it was likely a man. Whose fury over a divorce could be so incandescent to warrant this, yet so impotent as to force you to keep a blog about it?
Only a man could be so utterly emasculated.
A woman might get angry but she could at least take comfort in taking the house and the car and 50% of the other assets and the children.
Oh but nope, this is one of those "sensible" divorces where everyone stays friends at the end.
Except no, I don't foresee that happening.

lol
I'm not going to rehash all the ill fortune I've had this year.
Just wanted to wish all of you a better, happier & more fulfilling New Year.
2012...

I wish you would have, because at this rate I need a scorecard.

edit:
Chris, the lady I asked out, texted me a "Happy New Year" too! This time she said she'd like a lunch date, no hesitation.

Rebound girlfriend.

Of course she may just be 'being nice' since I'm interested in buying a horse trailer from her.
WTF? A person can never have too many friends :) .

Just a friend who you're asking out.
On a date.

I walked in on the ex, while she was using her office phone for personal calls, on Thursday. What a BITCH! She was rude & obnoxious to me for no reason other than HER guilty conscience. I hope she loses this job, after I'm gone.

You could see to that, I imagine.
You just admitted you wished for revenge. This would be felt like a keen edge, I think.

Yesterday I went to Laramie for some books & videos, then out to the cabin. Just avoiding the BITCH until she leaves for her whoring expedition. First holiday we've spent apart in 12yrs. Hope she lives through the worst weekend of her life, and that its her last rational thought many years down the road.

"I hope its (sic) her last rational thought many years down the road", what?
What does that mean?
So you hope something bad happens to her and that the knowledge that it was bad occurs to her only later?
That's an interesting thing to wish on someone.
Assuming that is what you mean but frankly you're a semiliterate idiot so who knows.

Took the last of the prescription meds Friday. I needed the crutch at a really bad time, but its time to move on.
Those drugs not only stopped depression, and stabilized my moods... they also shaved 30 points right off the top of my IQ.

Oh that's great.
If your story is to be believed (and it isn't) your wife cheated on you and is taking half your assets.
Of course you're depressed. You don't need pills, you need a plan in life.

Worked another half day yesterday. Afterwards went to Walmart, wanted more ammo in my stash but they were out of my flavor.

OH GOOD.
I HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE, I JUST STOPPED TAKING ANTIDEPRESSANTS AND LET ME SHOP FOR AMMO AT THE WAL-MART.

Still have to haul my Faraday cage out there.

Why do you own a Faraday cage?
Faraday cages, for those of you not familiar with science or fucking crazy talk, is a device used to block electric currents.

Google the upcoming 2012 solar storms if you have any questions. Lots of info on the web. There is a real possibility of grid failure for months!!!

If the grid fails your fucking crazy tinfoil hat won't help.

OK, I de-boned an antelope, melted lead and cast more bullets, made a powder measure with an old antler tip (67gr), & stained some shelving for the cabin.

Glad to see you're keeping busy in hillbilly land.

We get some wooden pallets at work that come with some nice lumber. The whorls & knots on some pieces are quite attractive when the stain hits them.
Now I'm at loose ends again. Must find something to occupy myself. I wanted to put an edge on a knife I recently bought, but the metal was tempered unevenly when cut. I'll have to find a blacksmith to correct that.

A blacksmith?
Taking the bones out of an antelopes?
Are you a FFXIV character?
Is this just an elaborate roleplay for a video game I don't understand?

In my last blog I mentioned having more in the joint account than either of us realized. Well, I've had time to think. There is no way she didn't have a clue about the amount, she handled that account and received the banking statements monthly. So in effect she was hiding the total from me, to pull out at a later date without my knowing. What chaps my ass is that the moneys were put there through MY direct deposit from work, no contribution from her, and I got half! Oh well, at least I got something.

>Money she didn't earn
>she gets half
You know, if I robbed you of half your money right now at gunpoint you wouldn't be saying "oh well, at least I got something."
But, really, consider it your "too stupid to follow my sage advice" tax and leave it at that.
Admittedly you're 52 and got married 12 years ago (when I was busy being hurrr durrr 13) but still, I figured this shit out, you could have too.

My extravagance was in ordering a cartridge bandoleer for my .44mag Mares Leg.

What the fuck?
A mares leg, for those of you blissfully unaware of crazy bullshit, is a rifle with a shortened barrel and stock.
It's basically halfway between a pistol and a carbine.
I was under the (obviously mistaken) impression this wasn't a real weapon but was sometimes featured in movies because it looked cool, but here we are.
Great.

The bandoleer is from Triple K. A Mares Leg is historically a lever action rifle shortened at the barrel and stock, used as a large handgun.

Yeah that's what I just said.
I didn't know they were lever action though so thanks for clarifying.
I guess.
I don't need more crazy shit in my head because I look as crazy as you people do explaining this shit.

The one I have was manufactured that way to avoid all the BS incumbent with illegally modifying an existing rifle.

Those bullshit gun laws not wanting you to modify rifles so you can fire them like pistols.
WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU WANT TO KEEP PEOPLE FROM DOING THAT?

For anyone who is curious, its the Ranch Hand made by Rossi.
I'll have an acquaintance of mine, who is good with leather work, mate the bandoleer to my holster. The holster is in actuality an abbreviated saddle scabbard I had purchased for my Australian stock saddle.

I don't know whether to horrified at the hillbilly off antidepressants purchasing a rifle with a pistol grip or impressed because his real life sounds like an average day in FFXIV to me.

I'm still ambivalent about the divorce. I still love her despite everything, but divorce is all that's left after her numerous affairs.
Personally, I think there is something organically wrong inside her head, making my devoted wife of 12yrs perform acts of bad judgement.

I've preached the philosophy before knowing full well it would be ignored.
Just like Jesus.
Last weekend was a fiasco.

I got thoroughly drunk and wrecked a lot of stuff, hers and mine. Even trashed the internet dish. Been sober for almost five years.

The hits
The hits, they keep rolling.
Man, this guy is actually really boring. Except for the occasional outburst like that (with no follow up, I might add) it's just typical bullshit.
Ehhhh and I don't really see the rest of this blog happening. I was hoping for a big reveal but it just never really panned out.

Jesus Fucking Christ

You know how there's kind of a range of acceptability in things? Like if I told you "the cunt's response to the writer's block today is three paragraphs" when it should only be a sentence you might say "yeah that's a bit long" but you probably (wrongly) wouldn't conclude it's too long.
But then you reach that upward limit and keep going and you think "okay now you're really being unreasonable" but then you stretch past that and it becomes unbelievable.
What happens when you stretch past that?
Today's writer's block is literally awe inspiring at how long it is.
Are you ready for how long it is?
Are you sitting down?
SIX FUCKING PAGES.
I don't think I've had six pages of thoughts today, let alone on one sustained subject.

If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?

How long should that response be?
I'd think maybe two words. At most a sentence if you want to be a specific kind of something.
Like "I want to be president of anime" and you'd have to specify "of anime" and not just "president" but any more than that and you're really pushing it.
Well, shall we begin?

Now this is an ironic prompt.

Definition of irony:

a technique of indicating, as through character or plot development, an intention or attitude opposite to that which is actually or ostensibly stated.

BOY THAT SURE IS A TECHNIQUE OF STATING SOMETHING WITH THE INTENTION OF STATING THE OPPOSITE!

This is the question that's been haunting me the most lately. So I don't see myself writing *too much about any "dream" job, but more on a realistic level.

Writer.
There's my answer.

The funny thing with dream jobs is that they're usually defined as fun or easy, by other people's standards. But even if I chose a career in a field/industry that I love, the bigger question is, "Will I be able to do it?" If this wasn't a question, I'd have gone straight into the Animation Major during college, instead of fearing to marr my beloved industry.

You know the question didn't ask why.
It just asked what your dream job would be.
So animator.
Animator is your answer.

Or, I would have stayed in the Science Major to become some sort of mad scientist doctor. But really, there's nothing worse than every day, continuously failing, being self-disappointed, and humiliated in front of entire classes, while also disappointing a teacher.

Are you still fucking talking?

;____________; School, in and of itself was already that, so adding the horror of incompetently disgracing a personally beloved field/industry of mine, daily, would be too unbearable. There are no "dream jobs" when self-disappointment follows you everywhere.

Ever since I got laid-off in September, I've been thinking about what career I might do with my life. I'm still unemployed. But the very day after my lay-off, I got a seller's permit and got into swap meets and made all these plans for joining Artist Alleys at conventions.

Jeeeeesus fuuuck the looooord.
All right so while this cunt yaps on and on and on let me tell you guys this shit.
So I was doing the new Grand Company quest in FFXIV. I wasn't expecting anything interesting (the quest was investigating an airship crash [hint: the quest's name, "Alive", might be a spoiler]) when dear Edie runs through a cave tunnel thing without looking where she's going (even after being explicitly warned the area is crawling with Imperials and she just killed 3 to get there) when guess who drops down from nowhere the way she just came?

Gaius Van Baelsar, my old friend.
Gaius Van Baelsar's entire character is based around three things:

• looking menacing
• saying vague things
• shooting people with a plasma gun from Warhammer.

I imagine the design process for him looked something like a bunch of grown men playing with action figures for an hour to get in the right state of mind for this shit. He just drops out of fuck nowhere to kick ass and then promptly vanishes. You know, sort of exactly like how kids play with action figures.

So I guess you could say I'm now self-employed. But the more events I get seller's tables for, the more I think this lifestyle isn't for me. I certainly loved designing merchandise and deciphering how to fabricate it all. And I love fabricating things with my hands, as well. But when it comes down to sitting at a table and interacting with people... I've done 2 events so far, and have already had more bad human interaction experiences than this Social Anxiety sufferer can stand.

Oh right, you.
God I was just thinking how great that quest was and now I have to come back to the startling reality that you exist and I have to know from you.
I am very disappointed that Edie ran like a bitch for the third time and got shot in the back.
There's a coward's wound if I've ever heard one.
It was okay, though. She shrugged that ball of super-heated magic off like someone pushed her.

Because, as it stands now---still and always has stood, I don't really see the worth in living. ...Except in the enjoyable hobbies that make me forget about the horror of being alive. In and of itself, if is a pretty horrible thing. It was one thing to live in a horrible situation, and feel there was a horrible enemy to defeat, then life would be awesome...But to live knowing that whatever environment (good or bad) or (lack of)obstacles you may be in, it would always be horrible because I was always there...;-;

Maybe the most emo thing I've ever read in my entire life.
But there is a horrible enemy to defeat: your fellow man.
What greater foe than the pigs around you?
Think about it. Even though dragons are evil, if they were real you could at least mourn the passing of a worthy foe after you vanquished it or the passing of a majestic and awesome creature.
What are men?
Filthy and unworthy, I think.

I can't get away from me. There was a time when my solution was to change myself, improve myself, into a person I could be proud to live with. (I hated myself so much, back then, that I couldn't stand seeing myself in mirrors.) But I hit my wall years ago. I Grew as far as I can, and I can't Grow anymore. ;_;

WEAKNESS PERSONIFIED.
For those who seek perfection there can be no rest this side of the grave.

The only place I can go now is death. And that's the irony. Once you're alive, that Survival Instinct and evolutionarily-ingrained fear of death, makes it near-impossible to just die.

>evolutionary ingrained fear of death
>humans are the only creatures even dimly aware they can die
You don't really know how evolution works, do you?
The only fear evolutionarily fear ingrained in man is the fear of falling and perhaps the fear of the dark.

Belive me. I've tried. You can use all the logic of your own ideals (the only Truth in this world of subjective morality) to justify suicide, but when it comes down to it, it's tough to go up against millions of years of Survival Instinct.

Yet people kill themselves daily.
So you want to kill yourself, and not over something noble like the loss of honor or a gambling debt but instead over-- THIS, which is the coward's way out of I've ever heard it, yet you're too cowardly to take the coward's way out of life--

No matter how much suicide is "right" and logical for me, when I get serious about taking action for it, now I get such a flood of emotions, that I can't suicide. Usually, it's sadness. Inexplicable sadness. Because when I'm depressed, I can barely get up, much less mix up some poison drink. ---I'm an Escapism junkie.

I skipped down a bit because at this rate I'm not getting to entry 2.
Can you believe a question about your dream job turned into a rant about suicide?
I sure can.

Maybe it's my method of survival. But it's hard to just revel in it, when the whole world and even the people you respect most keep reiterating that my geeky hobbies really aren't that important. ;_;

Did I show you Edie's crown already?
Yes I did. I wish I hadn't blown my wad on that the day I fucking got it.

Then what am I sticking around life for? ......Kingdom Hearts 3, that's what. And Final Fantasy Versus XIII.

Oh, Christ. If that's what I had to look forward to in life I'd be reaching for the hemlock too.
Final Fantasy Versus XIII, seriously?
Man.
Only the Final Fantasy series can have sequels to the sequels to the sequels.
So you have Final Fantasy XIII, the worst game ever made, then there's a sequel to that, Final Fantasy XIII-2 (which is released after XIV) then you have an unrelated game to the previous two set in the same world called Final Fantasy Versus XIII.
Have I confused you yet?
Let's not even start with Final Fantasy XII.

But this journal entry was about careers, wasn't it?

Yes, back to the matter at hand.

My resume seminar instructor once suggested I get into some kind of merchandise design. Which would fit with my penchant/love of daydreaming unique concepts and fabrication. Which I currently express through fanart and cosplay. But writing was the one thing in my life where I remember always enjoying the hard work, and even feeling a constant hope of continual improvement/honing skill.

You have to learn how to learn, you know. It is a skill like anything else.
Here, let me tell you your next goal for writing: being less wordy.
The goal of writing isn't to throw as much shit onto the page as you can muster. It's to form a coherent idea and more importantly to express it to others as efficiently as possible.

Unfortunately, that was a long time ago. Whatever skill I had in writing, I lost it, when I went to focus on art. Me and my stupid dream to become a comic book/manga author who could draw and write. ~_~;

Number of manga authors who can draw and write:
-
Not that many don't tell amusing stories but I have yet to encounter one who is truly a writer.
They're primarily telling (not showing, the mark of a real writer) through pretty drawings.
Dragon Ball Z is especially remarkable because if there's a thing you shouldn't do in writing Dragon Ball Z does it and yet tells an entertaining story in spite of all that.

All I ended up doing was half-heartedly and unsuccessfully studying a skill that took up all my time for writing, until I lost touch with that skill altogether. ;_;

So what do you call this thing you're doing that's wasting all my time?
I could be making wind shards or dying to that new Moogle boss, you know.

I guess that's why I feel anxious about this new job offer from the government, that just came in the mail 3 days ago. If I go back to that cubicle life, how is that any different from the job I just left---was freed from? I don't need money. I have a substantial savings, because I don't have a Normal person's recreational activities/spending.

Man I just yawned big.

If I go back, then I might as well have stayed with my last job. I could have moved with them to Northern California. Sure, I'd have to say goodbye to my beloved family for probably forever, but I could have continued just roaming the internet every night for fun. Maybe even get a cat, once moved away from living with allergic and pet's-mess-phobic people. But I knew that if I went there, stayed in that job (not even a career), I would have had to first, resign myself to a lack of Hope, dreams, or chances for life to become anything grander. With that kind of Hopeless resolve, I knew that once I got up there, I would have just killed myself (and my hypothetical cats), all for a job that gave me nothing but money.

Didn't you just say the only reason you're living is because of your hobbies?
That sounds like a great reason to be alive, actually. You're living because you get to do what you want, what? Why are other people alive?
Do you realize how many people are alive simply because they can't die? Things like spouses and children depend on them?
Is that really what you want from life?
So far you haven't mentioned marriage or children so I imagine you don't really care about such things so what I'm getting from you is you're upset at life because your job sucked, yet they offered to pack you up and move you to sunny NORTHERN CALIFORNIA and you turned them down because that wasn't good enough.
Newsflash, honey: jobs suck. That's why they're called jobs. and not hobbies.

And I don't need money. I paid off my students loans, my car,...I don't pay rent or buy groceries (Luckily, Asian parents believe "good girls" live at home),

Man, Asian parents.
Wait, what?
An Asian girl that plays Final Fantasy?
Motherfucker are you dense?
Do you know how many successful nerds I know in Final Fantasy XIV that would literally murder someone to find an Asian girl who can talk intelligently about video games?
You wouldn't even have to work. They'd probably let you stay home as long as you can do domestic things because they're all beardbeasts.
Unless you're hideous. I can't help you then.
You don't even have to be beautiful. Just not hideous and you should be set for life.
FOR LIFE.
Man.
I've seen some dense motherfuckers in my time but you're up there, lady.
I can't believe it but this is the first entry of Edie Finds a Corpse based entirely around one other entry but I guess that's what happens when you've written a six page thesis for the writer's block.

OH WOW IT'S FUCKING NOTHING

Prepare.
Oh yeah, gotta be 18+ to read this shit.
List of things you can do at the age of 18:

• enlist in the armed forces
• operate heavy machinery
• Vote in general elections
• purchase cigarettes
• buy pornography
• read the meandering whining of some dumb cunt

Now fans of Sesame Street may remember a little game called "which of these things is not like the other".
I don't think I need to develop that joke further.
Incidentally I've posted more indecent content than this bint. At least my language is colorful enough to elicit a general warning. This blog is FUCKING NOTHING.

What's the last thing you bought?

Today's writer's block. She helpfully posted no answer.
I'm not even being sarcastic. That is genuinely good news.
My last purchase was Skyrim.
Here's a post entitled "A Gift People Overlooked".
Now I didn't read any of this post because, errr, I don't give a shit but I did read the last line:

Miss you Michael, Love you more xxx

Now call me naive but I just assumed there was someone important in her life named Michael whose silvery thread was cut too soon by the cruel mistresses of fate but had I bothered to read the first line (which I'm doing now, obviously):

Nobody knew on one fine day
The day of Michael Jackson's birth
It wasn't any normal day
A piece of Stardust fell to earth.

What, are you joking?

From just a child, he tried so hard
And worked to give his all
The people who watched him as he grew
Did know he could enthrall.

AN OVERLOOKED TALENT.
WEDGED COMFORTABLY BETWEEN MADONNA AND ELVIS IN TERMS OF RECORD SALES.
AN OVERLOOKED TALENT.

And still he shone, still he gleamed
A light from Heaven above
He tried to make this a better place
And tried to spread his love.

Oh he spread his love, all right.
Jesus Christ. You'd expect this post was made, what, the day he died or some shit?
No, it was posted November 23.
The November 23 that happened two days ago, that is.
Which might be the anniversary of his death, come to think of it.
Ah, didn't think of that one. Let's see.
Nope he died June 25, 2009.
Heh, crazies.
Incredibly this bitch constantly posts writer's blocks but never actually bothers to answer them. That's how I should post content from now on. HERE'S A BLOG.
NO FURTHER COMMENT.
Oh but here's one she commented on:

What do you want done with your body after you die?

No opinion on this other shit but how you want to die is carefully mapped out. All right, Crypt Keeper.

I want to be cremated. The cemeteries are getting over crowded, I don't fancy the idea of rotting very much and I like being warm lmaooo. My ashes..? Haven't really thought about that yet. God forbid if I outlive my kids my ashes would be next to them, otherwise probably with my hub when he goes.

Not sure what music I want played; I change my mind about that constantly. It'll either be something by MJ or Enigma, possibly something from both. "Speechless" by MJ, "The Screen Behind The Mirror" by Enigma.

When I die I am to be cremated. My funeral service will have a slow tolling on an iron bell.
Then they will play Hells Bells by AC/DC.
Then Choir of Destruction off the Dawn of War II Soundtrack. NO FAGGOTY EULOGIES, NO GAY JESUS CRAP.
If my loved ones are feeling especially religious I will accept a passage from The Odyssey.

...and it hurts so bad that I don't think I'll ever heal.
I can't write, I can't listen to your music, I can't watch you.

I wish we could see you dance once more.
Hear you sing once more.
See you smile once more.

I'm so lost now you're gone.

I love you so much more. Forever. No matter how much it hurts.

Another fucking post about Michael Jackson, Jesus.
Beat It was a great song don't get me wrong but let's not go fucking nuts, okay.
Oh God Michael Jackson fanfiction.
This is really happening.
Part 14.
This exists. I'm looking at it. I can't believe it's real but I'm looking at it. Have you ever seen something so unholy in your entire life?

Michael wandered across the grass, his hands buried in the pockets of his black pants. The sun was still out, although it was slowly starting to set; the warmth of the day still lingering in the air. The warm breeze tickled the leaves on the trees, the faint rustling noise pleasing to his ears. He casually strolled over towards a figure sitting on the grass.

Oh God why.
This is great writing, incidentally. Let me paint you a dewy picture of bygone ages with honeyed words.

Alisha sat cross-legged, her back to him. She had her left elbow leaning on her knee, her chin resting on that hand.

“Hey, girl,” he said, stopping behind her. “You ok?”
She smiled at him over her shoulder. “Yeah, you?”

Mmm, that is some great dialogue. Good at setting a scene and mood, good at dialogue.
It's like I'm staring into the face of Dante's work but surely, surely he has been dead for centuries!

Pulling his hands out of his pockets, he lowered himself to sit beside her, his shoulder leaning gently against hers. He nodded. “Yeah…I feel quite good.”

GOT ANY CHILDRENS?
Ah, good job, me. I resisted a direct reference to pedophilia for at least half the post.
You may recall earlier I made a double entendre about spreading love around but I didn't specifically say all over a little boy's face so I think I'm in the clear.
I will, however, make that joke now because it's too late to unring that bell.
Well I guess I could delete this paragraph and pretend it never happened but that would be pretty dishonest.

She sighed softly, typing rapidly with her right hand. “I hope this weather lasts for a few days yet; forecaster says it’s gonna rain soon.”
“The sky’s turning pink over there,” he told her, pointing to his right. “It’ll be a good day tomorrow.”

Prophet Michael.
Oddly this does sound like dialogue from that insipid movie he produced. You remember, the one where Michael Jackson chases a bunch of children around a meadow and then turns into a claymation rabbit and a car and a robot?
God he was on some great drugs.
I am truly envious that someone can get high enough to envisage a movie where Michael Jackson (the man, not him playing a character) chases unattended children around a meadow, then morphs into animals and machines and not only does no one tell him it's a bad idea he gets it straight into theaters.

and I know every member of the massive Michael Jackson Family that spreads across the globe is united in grief right now, no matter how far apart we are or what our differences and disagreements are. But in my wee corner of the world, I feel like nobody cares, nobody understands.

Post made: September 29.
As in a little less than two months ago. That September 29th.

Nobody realises the magic that Michael had.

Nobody appreciates the genius that created the music, the dance, the rhythm.

Nobody misses him anymore.

Nobody plays his music anymore, or talks about him.

I'm listening to Billie Jean as we speak, actually.
Oh, no it just ended and now it's Cocaine by Eric Clapton.
Man I have great taste in music.

Nobody cries for him.

Nobody's heart is breaking in the silence that is left behind.

Fucker had more money than some countries and got to get so high he made Moonwalker. I don't think anyone can mourn a life as glorious as that.

Does anybody even realise anymore that when Michael died, God turned off the stars in the sky?

All right, calm down.
Pretty sure the death of Beowulf in Beowulf wasn't this dramatic and that fucker was laid to rest on a burning Viking warship.

That he dimmed the sun down a little, and took the moon's beauty away? That the colours around us faded and lost their brightness..?
It doesn't feel like it.

There are tragic tales of star-crossed lovers that moved the gods themselves to tears that weren't this overdramatic.
I have literally read stories that end with Zeus shedding a single tear that weren't this overblown.

If You Can Hear Me Somewhere...

Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone home?
Come on, come on-- now, now
I hear you're feeling down
Well I can ease your pain
Get you on your feet again
Relax, relax--
I'll need some information first
Just the basic facts
Can you show me where it hurts?
There is no pain, you are receding
A distant ship smoke on the horizon
You are only coming through in waves
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying
When I was a child I had a fever
My hands felt just like two balloons
Now I've got that feeling once again
I can't explain, you would not understand
This is not how I am
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII HAVE BECOME COMFORTABLY NUMB

...I hope you are happy.

I miss you so much...today's been particularly hard. My heart is breaking without you.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-IIIII-III have become comfortably numb
Okay, okay
Just a little pinprick
There'll be no more AAAAAAAARGH
But you may feel a little sick
Can you stand up?
I do believe it's working.
Good.
That'll keep you going through the show
Come on, it's time to go

I'm sorry, what's happening again?
Man this song has such a great guitar solo at the end. Michael Jackson never had a guitar solo like this.
I bet they didn't even bother to write this shit down. "Just play something cool at the end" and there you have it.
So I've noticed references to FFXIV have been dwindling in my posts but worry not, gentle viewers. I bring you this:

And this:
level 50 conjurer and level 50 marauder, oh yes.
Up next: gladiator.
Man this blog is all fanfiction from here on out.
Fanfiction about Michael Jackson. THREE SWEEPING 30 PART EPICS.
I'm not even joking.

lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

I don't know anymore.
So you know how sometimes people post to their blogs about all this stupid bullshit no one cares about and they treat everything like the world is ending?
One of those today.
She also makes list of "stressors" in her life and it all sounds like a ton of bullshit to me.

What do you like to collect?

Today's writer's ('s's's) block. I like to collect anger, so I keep this blog.

I like to collect memories.

XOXO Leyna

Yeah thanks for that, Leyna.
Collect memories, awwww.
You should write that on a greeting card and then promptly shove it up your own ass.

News: I hate life.
New News: My “friends” hate me.
Old News: I’m tired of all the bs drama.
So in case you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m in a crappy mood.

No, couldn't quite figure that one out.

Boyfriend troubles mixed with friend troubles mixed with school troubles mixed with 3rd degree burns all come together to give me one massive headache.

I have to assume she doesn't literally mean 3rd degree burns because I'm pretty sure that would vault to #1 if they were literal burns.
I'm horrifically burned over 80% of my body but let me tell you about my fucking friend troubles, what a headache!

First off, I was perfectly fine with hobbling on crutches around school so that I didn’t have to miss classes and get zeros. But no. I was too hurt to go to school and I missed a week and a half of school.

Maybe these are literal burns?
Professors tend to be sticklers about attending class but I think if you show them a note from the doctor stating you have broken limbs and third degree burns they might be willing to float you an extension.

Now I’m scared I’m failing my classes because of the zeros I’m getting and I’m panicing…..this is stressor #1.

Probably should have written your professors after the accident, though.
I only missed one class in the history of my college career so I dunno.
Let that sink in for a minute: I didn't miss a day of pussy sensitivity class 1 through 5, but I missed a day of this class.
Imagine how shit that class must have been.
I wasn't sick or anything, either. I just said "nah, not happening today" and I leveled warrior on FFXI.

Then as if the school thing wasn’t enough to get to me, I’m having trouble with the boyfriend. I love him to tears but I sincerely can’t take him sometimes.

I love him but he really throws me right the fuck off, too.
That's a sentiment I look for in a significant other.

It’s an emotional rollercoaster with us; we constantly fight, I barely ever see him, and I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this.

Yes, the perfect girlfriend. I barely see her and when I do we fight.
It's almost like I should break up with her or something.

Plus the fact that just a few days ago we had a fight so bad that we broke up…and then twenty seconds after I got 50+ texts and calls saying “Please don’t do this Leyna….I’m sorry…” then came the 100+ “Please respond…I love you….” Then the 20+ “Please…Don’t…I need you…” By the way, our anniversary is/was in 6 days……this is stressor #2.

No, friend, when you break up with the bitch you stop talking to her. You go your way and she goes her way.

Also, my grandfather past away recently. His house is a major mess. My family is a major pain….these are stressors #3, 4, 5, 6, and possibly 7.

Passed*

Finally, my latest blunder: the friend that was. First time I talked to him he told me he was from my old school and that he remembered me. (NOTE: I’m two years younger than him and there’s no possible way that he remembered me because I was virtually invisible at that school…) After that, we talked a few times, something happened, and I started to really like him. Next thing I knew, I find out that he’s not who I thought he was. Now I don’t even have him as a friend……this is stressor #7 or 8 and 9 and 10.

Yeah that really sucks but do you want to hear about the stresses in my life?
So I got this Savage Might IV Materia and it just won't fucking sell!
I'm just undercutting the market a ton now. It's not like I care about the potential market collapse my antics will cause because when I unload it I'm done with it.
I can't believe these idiots who 1. buy the items I make and then 2. buy materia to put on them. You are going to feel so stupid wasting literally millions to have an item explode in your stupid face only to have all that shit outdated next fucking month.
What you do is make your own shit or, failing that, level a craft so you can make your own items. Then buy the tier III materia because it's about 10% of the cost for 50% of the effect that you don't really need that much of, all things told. I know they said the Ifrit fight was balanced for materia but it isn't really that optimized for it. You can get away with Savage Might III.

So just to tie everything together: I’m really stressed out. I just wish things would calm down and I didn’t have to deal with any of this. I’m extremely upset about my boyfriend and friend and really upset about school and the death of my grandfather (please don’t comment on the fact that the boyfriend & friend situations took precedence over the death of my grandfather).

Oh don't worry. I'm not even talking about you anymore.

So after the burns on my legs were up-graded to 3rd degree burns by my regular doctor on Wednesday, we've been trying to find a burn center that will take our medical insurance card. And guess what? There is absolutely no one.

Oh shit these are literal burns.
I was thinking more along the lines of "oh shit, sick burn" type stuff.
She was butthurt, is what I'm getting at.
But no, these are literal third degree burns that can get infected.
Also correct me if I'm wrong but insurance companies hate covering preexisting conditions but there's no way a burn is a preexisting condition.
Fucking insurance companies, I tell you. They're part of my 500 step action plan to fix the economy.
I got to thinking how the Romans, whose example I consult on all things, would handle this current crisis and I determined they'd probably start cutting out the cancer as they saw fit. The problem is it's difficult to know where cancer ends and healthy cells begin so I figure we'll start at the chancres and work our way out.
Of course their economy collapsed under suspiciously similar circumstances so maybe they aren't as clever and noble as I give them credit for.

So I've been stuck in immense pain, waiting for the doctors to call and say "we found you a burn specialist!" The worst part of this is the fact I'm missing over a week of classes and letting down the drama club that I started.

Look I joke a lot on here about being Billy Badass but even I wouldn't be so craven as to suggest your 3rd degree burns should come after fucking drama club.

Speaking of drama club, there's way too much drama there (I know sounds redundant) and I don't think I can take it much longer. The people in the group have voted my (slightly abusive and horrible) xbf to be my 3rd in command. So I have to deal with him...daily...which is horrible. Any suggestions on how to handle this??

I'd have already manipulated the vote in my favor but I guess you can always consolidate your position by making sure 1st and 2nd in command like you-- I dunno, you have a lot of options.

Oh, and I am officially 18years old! It kinda happened two weeks ago but I figured I might as well tell everyone now about it.

Man, 18.
I seriously hope I wasn't this stupid when I was 18.

Don't you just hate when something happens and you watch your dreams fall into millions of tiny little pieces? That's exactly what happened when at 9:15am as we pulled out of the wawa (while I was holding 3 big cups of piping hot coffee) we got into an accident that then caused me to gain 2nd degree burns all over my legs and inner thighs.

Ha, ha, ha oh Christ--
didn't some woman sue McDonald's over a similar situation?
Something to think about.

After rushing to the worst yet closest hospital, waiting in the ER for half an hour (as I was crying and in major pain), and being seen (finally) by the doctor the diagnosis was 2nd degree burns on my thighs, inner thighs, and a few other places. The result: no princess auditions for me =C.

Crispy cunt.
... Didn't I just say I wasn't so craven as to be doing this?
I guess I am that mean-spirited.
Huh, well, I guess after doing it for three years your persona kind of becomes you.

So guess what happened...can't guess...? That's ok I'll tell you! I might be for-filling a life long dream of mine: being a Disney princess!!! Since I was 12 years old and dancing in Disney with my dance studio I've dreamed of being a princess; walking around taking pictures and signing autographs sounds awesome right?

When you're that full of yourself the boiling water to the snatch is really just life's way of bringing you down a peg.
The Romans personified this exact kind of shit as Fortuna, and we're all strapped to her wheel of fortune. While someone's fortune is rising, someone's is invariably sinking.

Meanwhile, I have auditions for being either snow white or a fairy (because I'm funsized and not over 5'6") tomorrow in Philly!!!

Funsized-- are you fucking kidding me?

So some late breaking news...drum role please...PB is getting married! Or at least the letter she left us says she is. The latest breaking news is that she "met a man"! Now please, please tell me something: what type of illiterate disillusioned 19 year old uses the phrase "I met a man" when telling one's parents that she found a guy (that can put up with the fact she's a psycho)?

Calling someone illiterate when you just confused role for roll isn't quite the thing you want to be doing if you don't want to look like a complete cunt.
Also I'm going to need your definition of "disillusioned" because I'm guessing by the context it doesn't mean what you think it means.
Further, I'm guessing by the fact she left a letter means she isn't illiterate. Perhaps she isn't as poised and graceful with words as you are (unlikely) but she's clearly literate if she can write.
Since, by definition, literacy is the ability to read and write.

Especially in this day and age! To me it sounds like one of the girls off of Golden Girls (don't even pretend that you don't know what I'm talking about).

Well I can honestly say I'm not pretending.
I have no fucking clue what you're on about.

But maybe little miss good-time-girl has changed her ways, turned in her devil horns for a halo & wings, and maybe..just maybe here...I'll be a billionaire and will never have to pay taxes. You never know. It could TOTALLY happen. (I truly hope that all reading this gets the sarcasm.)

I'm not sure I understand anything anymore.
This one entry has completely ruined my ability to comprehend human emotions.

Have you ever been sure of something to such a degree that there's no doubt in your mind about it...and then it comes out that you were wrong all along?

I mean yeah. When I was a little kid.
The older I get, I find, the less sure you are of things.
I can honestly say I haven't been doubtless in about twelve years.

That seems to be happening to me a lot. I was 100% sure that I was right and that what I saw was what I thought. But it wasn't.

The good news, at least in my case, was with doubt came the wisdom to keep my yap shut so I never look like a jabbering twat.

When I was in elementary school, I was bereft of having a true friend. Most of the people that went to school with me were insidious, reiterating harmful gibes yet never getting caught.

Reiterating--
Is that a proper usage of the term?
I'd lean towards "no" but if they're picking on you over the same thing they would literally be reiterating their point--
It's nonstandard at least, since "reiterating" is usually for clarity or emphasis.
Also a gibe by definition is a remark.
People can't really be remarks.
Jesus Christ, this bullshit bullying story continues for sixteen more paragraphs.

Have you ever felt like you’re entire world collapsed around you? Like you’re drowning in something hot and boiling and you’re chest starts burning and you lose all control of your emotions?

>You're
And yeah I felt like that when I heard Sara Bareilles covered Sittin' On The Dock of the Bay.
What has to be running through your head to do that?
The only thing I was drowning in was my own burning piss, though.
Oh you're not familiar?
Well prepare, because your suffering shall be legendary.
That's not the soul classic I know.

I’ve felt like that, like my world fell out from under my feet and I was just falling waiting to hit rock bottom…

Nah nothing that melodramatic happened to me, though. I just sat there in utter disbelief for about a minute then I moved on with my life.

I was going to go into this whole rant about something as stupid as boys being boys (I guess that still applies here) but I realized that it’s not even worth it.

Come to think of it I don't think I've listened to that gr8 cover long enough to hear the part where there's supposed to be whistling. I bet she just whines through it instead.
Jesus Christ can I call it or what?
Also I don't know what's wrong with your watch, Sara whatever your stupid face is, but your version is 3:23 but mine is only 2:45. What, the ruination wasn't complete in 2:45 so you just had to stretch my fury for another minute?

So yea, I’ve felt like my world collapsed out from under me and I was left drowning but right after that, I felt nothing. Numb. Pissed. Indifferent.

You know what's worse than a bad cover of a great song?
A bad cover that's also way fucking longer.
... How the hell am I still talking about this?

And I know that I said before that being indifferent on things was horrible and that’s what made the world Oliver created so drastically different from ours (because let’s face it, we’re all really biased about things that we have opinions on).

We're all really biased about things we have opinions on.
As opposed to opinions that are 100% objective.
Are you really that fucking dumb or are you just fucking with me?
Well I'm up to the first entry and I can't even be assed to read it.
We need to have a talk about you, Leyna. You really need to step your game up.
This is just completely unacceptable. If you were my employee I'd tell you to get the fuck out of my office.
You are fucking fired.
Buuuuuuuh fuck.