Gee, give me a moment to muster some sympathy for you and your relationship turmoil, especially considering the PROBLEM IS YOUR FAULT.
Also it does that thing where you have to agree you're 14 coming in and then you're 14 at each entry. Good. Now Livejournal isn't loading entries and I can't say this is necessarily a huge problem for me--
Ah fuck it loaded. Anyway here we go--
Her first entry is entitled "Division" with a thousand ellipsis.
...and I'm not talking about math.
My relationship feels divided...emotionally, physically and more important - mentally.
Women, man. It's easy, just ask her about her day and what's on her mind. Then she's going to start running her fucking yap and you can think about sex. When she pauses just restate what she just said in the form of a question and hope it makes sense.
Hum, getting my gender relations check for sure in pussy sensitivity class.
Our relationship feels very superficial to me right now.
I believe Jesus said it best: there is no such thing as superficial relationships, just superficial people.
Actually that wasn't Jesus, it was Zeus.
Okay I lied again. I just made that up.
Am I the one who should be addressing the issues until they're dead on the floor?
Sounds like you're the only one with issues.
Should I be making all of the plans? What changes should I be responsible to implement?
Implementing changes-- this is a relationship, not a consulting firm, Christ.
Are all of these things in my head??? Should I be selfish in this relationship and simply tend to mine and my childrens needs, completey disregarding my partner?
>selfish
>tending to your children
errrrr--
Really???? Is this how it's going to be forever?
More later..gotta go now - she just summoned me for lunch.
SHE.
That reminds me there's a chiptune group called she that's pretty good.
Anyway I'm getting off topic.
And here's today's writer's (TOO MANY POSSESSIVES HOLY SHIT) Block:
Have you ever fallen in love with two people at once? How did it work out?
This was a strange question to me. I guess I believe you should be guarded in your emotional state more than that-- and that's probably why I have about no friends since moving three years ago, but that's not the point.
The point is you shouldn't commit to a bitch until you're reasonably sure nothing better will come along or you can lie to yourself convincingly that nothing better has come along.
I was in a committed, long-term relationship and fell in love with someone else...unexpectedly!
... As opposed to all the people who do commit to relationships fully expecting to fall in love with other people.
DO PEOPLE REALLY DO THAT?
I love all these people who think that somehow excuses their bullshit antics. I DIDN'T EXPECT TO FALL IN LOVE.
Oh, well then that's perfectly okay, then. Just a vow of marriage no huge deal. Not like you VOWED something meaning you'd promise NEVER TO BREAK IT AS LONG AS IT WAS IN YOUR POWER or anything.
It was tough on me mentally and emotionally, not to mention the other two people involved. The former didn't end well and I had made an absolute mess of things before all was said and done.
And yet evidently you brought this all on yourself so excuse me for not feeling any sympathy.
... That'd be like me punching myself in the nuts and then typing "goddamn it, I just hit myself in the nuts" WELL SHIT, SON!
People are going to do what they want to do, but the small amount of experience I gained on the subject was enough to last me a lifetime. I can't help but think, what comes around goes around...
... Err, I think you're supposed to say that when someone does something to you, not the other way around-- fuck it.
Holy shit now there's a giant wall of words.
I love me some Lady Gaga...
Last night found me, once again, tending to the house while my love interest/roommate tinkered around in the garage with the go-kart...ya, ya - I know...AGAIN??!!
k
Ummmm yeah, my thoughts exactly.
Well I'm glad someone knows what I'm thinking in this situation, apparently.
Last night in bed I was watching The L Word (which I love, love, love) and girlie decided to get frisky on me.
Girlie-- what--
After a few minutes I couldn't control my attention to the TV any longer.. we began to make out, caress, etc...then the tickles set in on her. I'm quite used to this because she's highly ticklish around her hips and inner thigh, but this was a new area - the neck.
Oh I get it. Lesbians.
Well that explains why everything is vague and not too gender-defined. Still not out to the parents, eh?
She shivered in a tickled frenzy and giggled a bit. I asked if she was ticklish and she said yes. So I moved on...a little set back in the mood - but all's well that ends well for the evening...right? WRONG?!
WRONG.
About 430am little man woke up crying because he was picking at
Hey whoa, all right. I thought you were a lesbian, not a pedophile.
Well, I suppose those aren't mutually exclusive categories--
the scabs on his face and had realized that one was still a little too attached for his liking. Poor guy wrecked his bike over his dads house last weekend and landed on his face. :(
Father's responsibility to teach his son to roll like a man.
Remember always: you can't control when you fall, but you can control what you do while you're falling. The ability to override your instinct to brace yourself with your arm is the only thing that separates you from the beast.
Arms across the chest, tuck the neck, try to get on your back.
Anyhoo, we both rolled out of bed and tended to baby boy...then we went in a laid back down in bed. Suddenly it was discussion time... She made a reference to last nights' sexcapade and then said, while laughing, that when I was 'stroking' her neck she was making up a joke in her head about (of all things) "stroking a c*ck."
You talk about massaging her inner thigh and yet you censor cock? What the fuck kind of censorship is this, woman?
That'd be like me censoring "d*mn" after using "fuck" and "cunt" already. (har har har)
I was instantly horrified and completely turned off. Then the comment penetrated (no pun intended) my thick skin and my feelings were hurt.
Why?
Actually no, don't care.
Now she's judging different things I do when I make love to her and comparing them to c*ck?? WTF???
Nope, still don't care.
I went into my usual mode of shutting down...I got quiet and turned over to face the wall. She immediately picked up on my change of attitude and asked what was wrong. I told her I was offended and to know that her headspace is filling with jokes while I am simply exploring her body is just cruel.
Baby, when your brain is full of fuck it's full of fuck.
If that's the kind of thing you think about while being intimate - please, for sake of your partner - don't ever tell them.
I'd hope she'd be cooler than that.
In true fashion she became instantly irritated and thought the whole thing was her fault and suddenly it turned into I didn't like the way she makes love to me and then my head was spinning. She got out of bed...in the shower...packed a bag....and did her whole "I'm leaving!" speech.
These people are so irrational.
And yes I mean that with every conviction it can have.
This is at 5am, mind you. I don't do well at any time before 9am - and she knows this - but here we were engaging in this child-like behavior at o'dark thirty. She told me on the way out of the bedroom door that I was mean and she didn't have to take this kind of abuse and to judge her is cruel and why haven't I ever insulted her in the sack before now and yada yada yada.... I just let her go cuz I could hardly form a coherrant thought...
Well you posted this at 4:25 PM, what's your excuse for not being able to form a "coherant" thought now?
I said I was frustrated because I wasn't sure where I could touch her without her feeling ticklish and me feeling like she didn't like what I was doing and was it going to be like "ya, let's have sex - oh by the way - you can only touch my p*ssy."
Censoring the word "pussy" in light of this discussion has to be the most bizarre and inappropriate thing I have seen all week.
... It's early, though, and tomorrow's pussy sensitivity class so we'll see.
She didn't like that at all... She left after slamming 100 cupboards and doors on her way out. Then she went 3 miles up the road to Starbucks and started a texting war with me...which I refused to engage in.
So what's this argument about, exactly?
Then she called and said she was hurt and was feeling like she was going to shut down and not initiate sex ever again with me because of the rejection I was giving her. She said she made up a joke in her head about a c*ck because she didn't want to tell me what she was really experiencing.
Those poor children.
I think my girlfriend feeds off of chaos and pain.
CHAOS.
Cover to Brotherhood of the Snake, I think. One of the few Warhammer books actually worth reading.On an unrelated note: this.
Now there's a post that has font so small I need a microscope--
What a difference a year makes...this time last year I was hopeful, giddy...bursting at the seams with passion and yet so consumed with the secret I was carrying day in and day out.
The secret is she worships Slaanesh and heads a depraved sex cult involving human sacrifice. That is, until the Emperor's Space Marines made planet fall. The green panoply and grinning serpent of the Salamanders chapter.
Into the fires of battle, unto the anvil of war!
No I'm just making this more interesting than it really is.
I had completely checked out of the relationship in May...and he knew it...but I didn't know how (or didn't have the courage) to walk into the room and tell him it was o-v-e-r and make the necessary arrangements regarding finances, custody, etc...
Whosoever shalt end the relationship shall take nothing but what was brought in the first place.
That seems like a fair rule to me.
I found out she liked a certain set of vampire novels that I also adored.
Twilight, hurrr.
Also you don't need to say "a certain set" like it's some kind of indie shit no one has heard of before. I'm pretty sure it outsold the Bible last year.
Anyway I think I have something to do for pussy sensitivity class now.
GOTTA BE SENSITIVE YO
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