FUCK THE INTERNET

Ok so I know it's Friday and I haven't updated since last Friday but unlike usual I have a good excuse: I had no internet.

I even had a job interview over Skype with Korea the second before it cut out.
No joke, man.
All's well that ends well though, as I salvaged it and I got a followup interview.
No thanks to Time Warner.
Here's even how the conversation went:
"I know it's early but we can start the interview"
"That's fine with me I'm ready."
Like I shouldn't have said that. That was tempting the fates if ever I've seen it. I should have just said "yeah okay."
But you know I had been ready since I got the email at 9 AM so I was pretty eager to get it over and done with like goddamn.
Also protip for Skype interviewees on Time Warner: there's a Skype app for smart phones. Don't leave it to Time Warner to work properly.
I even had my netbook on standby if my computer crashed but I didn't account for the internet going out.
Like what's more likely to happen? The computer with 9 weeks of up time to crash or the notoriously bad internet service to not work?
Fucking stupid, man.
Anyway time to get our fucking murder lust on.
Oh and I'm sure some people might think oh well you're in the frozen hellhole that is North Carolina so maybe the ice downed some lines and it's not TW's fault?
Yeah, well, this was before all that shit happened.
Time Warner is shit the old fashioned way.
Fuck Time Warner
Fuck South Korea for only interviewing at night
fuck everyone.

as indicated in the other post
i found Simple Abundance pretentious
materialistic and unrealistic

here my abundance for
this wet cold grey day

* home made split pea soup
in the freezer
perfect to warm up the day

* old worn orange pashima shawl
comforting in warmth and color
a familiar "friend"

* marshmallow & carmel easter egg
50 cents
surprisingly good
a treat on a grey day

So this fucking blog is written as if it's poetry but it really isn't so it's just like normal fucking thoughts with bizarre line breaks.
Like imagine if
I conducted
the rest of the entry
like this.

I'd have no readers
before the end of the post

rooting around in my bookshelves
i had found it
thought i might use topics
for march posts
but no
Simple Abundance - Sara Ban Breathbach
when i bought it
i was a bit put off
too precious

but now
re-reading - no
published in the mid '90s
too materialistic
happiness is in the having
just the right little thing
positive thinking
but always the material indulgence
take a bubble bath
light a scented candle

i shall look for a book
yes here it is
Keep It Simple - John Nichols
beautiful photos
maybe truth to be found
in images

I can't even focus on this. 

watching news & commentary
still thinking about Arizona
flipping around the channels - waiting

because i love alliteration
tired of bullies, bigots, bad tv

need to retreat
to cats
and tea
and irish soda bread

"because I love alliteration" she says in a post with no alliteration.
Or no, my mistake:
because I love alliteration
she says
in a post
with no alliteration

all is well in the dream universe
but over there?
i can't get in

I sit alone in my four corner room starin' at candles

oh that shit is on?

let me drop some shit like this here

at night I can't sleep

I toss and turn

candlesticks in the dark

visions of bodies being burned

four walls just starin' at a nigga

I'm paranoid sleepin' with my finger on the trigger

my mother's always stressin' I ain't livin' right

but I ain't goin' out without a fight

see every time my eyes close

I start sweatin' and blood starts comin' out my nose

Is somebody watchin' the ak'?

But I don't know who it is so I'm watching my back

I can see him when I'm deep in the covers

when I awake I don't see the motherfucker

he owns a black hat like I own

a black suit and a cane like my own

some might say "take a chill, B"

but fuck that shit, there's a nigga trying to kill me

I'm poppin' in the clip when the wind blows

every 20 seconds got me peepin' out the window

investigating the joint for traps

checkin' my telephone for taps

I'm starin' at the woman on the corner

it's fucked up when your mind's playing tricks on you

well, no
dull boring drab
embarrassing!

old stars should be allowed

to just be
not put on display

I make big money

I drive big cars

everybody know me

it's like I'm a movie star

but late at night

somethin' ain't right

I feel I'm bein' tailed by the same sucker's headlights

is it that fool that I ran off the block?

or is it that nigga last week that I shot?

or is it the one I beat for 5000 dollars?

Thought he had 'caine but it was Gold Medal flour

reached under my seat

grabbed my poppa for the suckas

ain't no use in me lyin' I was scareder than a motherfucker

hooked the left into Popeye's

if it's going down let's get this shit over with

here they come

just like I figure

I got my hand on the motherfucking trigger

what I saw'll make your ass start gigglin'

three blind, crippled and crazy senior citizens

I live by the sword

I take my boys everywhere I go 'cause I'm paranoid

I keep looking over my shoulder and peepin' around corners

my mind is playing tricks on me

3. "religious freedom"
when does the freedom of person A
impinge on the needs and rights
of person B?
who decides?
when are the obligations
and duties of a person
negated by their religious beliefs?

i had it happen to me
a doctor refused to prescribe
birth control pills
his conscience forbade it
he did have the grace to find another doctor
who would do it
how was that less enabling
than doing it himself?
if the object was to deny me the pills?
or was it just to keep his conscience "clean"?
HE didn't give me the pills

fortunately there was another doctor
to write the Rx
what if he had been the only one?

And I lost my place because I went back to this blog.

Fuck.

Also he has the right to not do something he disagrees with.
Ignorant or not.

Truly the greatest rap song ever created, though.

Did you know Rx likely comes from the Eye of Ra?

The Egyptians associated it with healing and medicine.

And somehow Rx is supposed to look like it.

No I don't understand it either.

Go on, Google the eye of Ra and see if it looks like Rx.

All I know is people had a lot of imagination back then.

when i took the Rx to the druggist
does he have the right
to deny me those pills
because it is against his conscience?
does he have the right to further embarrass me?
what if that is the only drug store in town?

Plan B is now available over the counter
can the person behind the register
make a scene
deny the sale
because of their conscience?

Notice this is all about
"woman stuff"
would there be the same assertion of conscience
for viagra or condoms?

When Mr Hobby Lobby says
he won't pay for Rx for viagra
i may find him more creditable
i won't agree
but i will find it more creditable

Hobby Lobby also doesn't use barcodes because they think it has something to do with the mark of the beast and the end times.

Come the fuck on that's a weak argument.

Is anyone else trying to figure out when the line breaks come? I thought there'd be some kind of logic behind it but there isn't.

has anyone told a christian
you are unnatural?
unloveable?
dirty? crude? despicable?
said that in public
and been approved?

I have.

I wasn't approved, though.

AVE CAESAR.

why a New England girl
is happy in Maryland
(besides the climate)

Wait are you calling the climate in Maryland good?
Because if so I got some news.

Unless you mean it's good except for the climate.

In which case: I got some news.

Also COME ON BE MORE VAGUE I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT.

Being vague is totally a replacement for having interesting things to say.

yes, Maryland was a slave state
birthplace of Harriet Tubman
and Frederick Douglas
(a bit up the road
from where i live)

yes, the county i live in
was the last to give up
legal segregation - until 1971
and had a lynching in the 30's

but
Maryland has marriage equality
has done away with the death penalty
is moving toward medical marijuana
and is moving to prevent transgender discrimination
recognizing that our current laws don't cover it

yes the state song
has some nasty verses
we just humm during those

and now i must begin work

Maryland has a state song?

 i am a child of the sun
solar powered
i need its energy

i am a leo
still blond
love the color yellow

i am a cat
sleeping
in a puddle of sunshine

i am a sunflower
turning
my face to the sun

i follow its rise
and setting
knowing just where and when

Amaterasu
holding her mirror
lights the world

Amaterasu is the goddess of the sun in Japanese mythology and probably theeeee (?) most central figure.

Don't worry, I got you covered on mythology.

And no, this still isn't a replacement for having interesting things to say.

A girl quizzed me on Greek mythology yesterday.

I almost couldn't believe what was happening.

Like you better check yourself before you get wrecked.

except for a glimpse
i didn't watch
saw team USA enter

pbs has so much good
especially a program on Alice Walters
made me think
when is Michele going to get real
let her hair go natural
guess she can't stop
"doin' the white thing"
until he's out of office

first lady with a fro
that would be really cool
what if the older first daughter
wants corn rows?

a mystery set in the 20s
oooo the clothes!
Downton Abbey is dowdy

a bit of Rachel on "Big Chris"

i can live without russia

I can live without this blog.
Fuck.

before there was velcro
there were zippers
before there were zippers
there were buttons

buttons were a big deal
you showed off just how wealthy you were
how fashionable or pretentious
by your buttons

Forgot buckles.
Those used to be the bomb-diggity, boy.

* be irritated
or amused?

If it's anything like the last year and a half of my life the answer is both at the same time.

sorry this is so long

is how an entry ends.
Like shut up, then.
Fuck.
Nope don't care about any of this.
Fuck off.
Song of the now.
I don't like this song as much as the other one but you know what can you do.

This is the worst thing to ever happen to me

All right you people I'm taking maybe a risk by reviewing a blog from my own home turf of Blogspot. Considering how unreasonable Google has been lately this might be a bannable offense.

I welcome the challenge.
I don't want to say this is the ultimate example of shitty blogs but it's the ultimate example of shitty blogs.
This is going to get complicated because a lot of this is unfunny webcomics knocked out in Microsoft Paint so I'm going to be linking you guys a lot of stuff and you'll have to follow as best you can.
Here's the about page:

Hi.  I'm Allie.

If I had to explain myself in six words, those words would be "heroic, caring, alert and flammable."  That's only four words.  Oh well, I guess I should have thought of that before I started writing.  Too late now. 

This is the standard we're working with.
Oh but if that wasn't giving you cancer already there's a second about page:

I decided to make a second "About" page.

I don't really know what I was thinking.

WACKY!

Power is intoxicating. Everyone loves having the ability to make their decisions into reality — to think "this should be something that happens," and then actually be able to make that thing happen. 

It is also dangerous. 

And it is especially dangerous when applied to four-year-olds. 

Four-year-olds lack the experience to wield power responsibly. They have no idea what to do with it or how to control it.

What proceeds is a 30 panel comic and a 15 paragraph saga about being 5 and dressing as a dinosaur for Halloween.
This is supposed to be funny.
This blog is so popular the twat author landed on public access radio.
Not that that's any kind of feat (I could probably do it given enough inclination) but Jesus Christ.
I tried to read the entire comic and I am literally sterile from it.
Thank you, Blogspot.
Ok let's run a little experiment because I'm now two posts into this shit and already I have a big fucking problem with this fucking blog. I'm going to link you an entry. Don't click on it yet-- I'm going to comment on it. I won't skip anything major from the entry.
The goal is to see if the images add or even enhance meaning we couldn't already get from her shit writing.

I remember being endlessly entertained by the adventures of my toys. Some days they died repeated, violent deaths, other days they traveled to space or discussed my swim lessons and how I absolutely should be allowed in the deep end of the pool, especially since I was such a talented doggy-paddler.  

WHO
CARES
This post is entitled "Depression part 2" incidentally so bang up job leading in with something RELATED TO THE FUCKING TITLE.
Let's go back to my own post, paragon of brilliant writing it is: what was my title?
THIS IS THE WORST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME.
Lead in?
I'M MAKING A BIG MISTAKE ALREADY AND THIS ENTRY HASN'T EVEN STARTED.
Title, lead in, whamo.
COME THE FUCK ON.

I didn't understand why it was fun for me, it just was. 

Take a guess how many pictures divided that last vapid paragraph with this meaningless sentence.
It was only two.
But still all I can see is red right now.

But as I grew older, it became harder and harder to access that expansive imaginary space that made my toys fun. I remember looking at them and feeling sort of frustrated and confused that things weren't the same. 

Yeah welcome to growing up. It sucks.

I played out all the same story lines that had been fun before, but the meaning had disappeared. Horse's Big Space Adventure transformed into holding a plastic horse in the air, hoping it would somehow be enjoyable for me. Prehistoric Crazy-Bus Death Ride was just smashing a toy bus full of dinosaurs into the wall while feeling sort of bored and unfulfilled.  I could no longer connect to my toys in a way that allowed me to participate in the experience.

This is where we part companies because if a video game company released "Prehistoric Crazy-Bus Death Ride" I'd be at the midnight release.
Maybe you did lose your sense of childlike wonder.
Midnight release and I'd buy the collector's edition.

Depression feels almost exactly like that, except about everything.

At first, though, the invulnerability that accompanied the detachment was exhilarating. At least as exhilarating as something can be without involving real emotions. 

There you go. Depression is a lot like being a twat, apparently.
That's all I've derived from this so far.

The beginning of my depression had been nothing but feelings, so the emotional deadening that followed was a welcome relief.  I had always wanted to not give a fuck about anything. I viewed feelings as a weakness — annoying obstacles on my quest for total power over myself. And I finally didn't have to feel them anymore.

Easy there, Spock.
Emotional mastery comes from feeling the emotions when you want to. Feeling nothing is kind of against the spirit of things.

But my experiences slowly flattened and blended together until it became obvious that there's a huge difference between not giving a fuck and not being able to give a fuck. Cognitively, you might know that different things are happening to you, but they don't feel very different.

Exactly. I consider depression a good motivator. As my psychology professor once said: sometimes there's a good reason you're depressed.
No matter how shit the situation is it's important to stick it out because then at the end of it you can say "holy shit I'm never letting that happen again" and you become a better person for it.
Which is why I am at once thankful and bitterly hate Harris Teeter.

Which leads to horrible, soul-decaying boredom.

I just watch Girl's Generation (or my new favorite, 9 Muses) videos when that happens.
I don't use the term "soul-decaying" because that's pretentious twattery. The word "very" has lost all meaning so we have to invent terms for how not that bored we really are.

I tried to get out more, but most fun activities just left me existentially confused or frustrated with my inability to enjoy them.

NOTHING MATTERS HAVE FUN PLAYING POKEMON NOW.

 Months oozed by, and I gradually came to accept that maybe enjoyment was not a thing I got to feel anymore. I didn't want anyone to know, though. I was still sort of uncomfortable about how bored and detached I felt around other people, and I was still holding out hope that the whole thing would spontaneously work itself out.

Isn't that an emotion, though?
I'm catching some holes in this story.
I'm sure people would (rightly) argue "discomfort" isn't an emotion so much as a state of being but it implies a certain range of emotions--
I feel words like "discomfort" and "doubt" and words like that should have a psychological term because there isn't an emotional state of being doubtful but it requires certain emotions to hold--
I call them emotional superstates in my own mind but I'm sure there's a less cool term for it.
Also man, I do my best thinking regarding people when I'm detached and one step removed.

As long as I could manage to not alienate anyone, everything might be okay!

Huh yeah good luck with that.

However, I could no longer rely on genuine emotion to generate facial expressions, and when you have to spend every social interaction consciously manipulating your face into shapes that are only approximately the right ones, alienating people is inevitable.

One thing I quickly learned about myself is I have a relative shallow level of empathy for my fellow man. I do not feel their pain at all like I feel my own.
I've learned to fake it, though.
I usually turn out better in regards to considering others due to an elaborate code of honor I follow but that genuinely has less to do with how they might feel and more about holding myself to my own exacting standards.
So what I'm saying is either I'm also majorly depressed or there's something off about both of us or this is just kind of what being a human is like.

It's weird for people who still have feelings to be around depressed people. They try to help you have feelings again so things can go back to normal, and it's frustrating for them when that doesn't happen. From their perspective, it seems like there has got to be some untapped source of happiness within you that you've simply lost track of, and if you could just see how beautiful things are... 

Do you feel bad that when people are this depressed and "creative" they try to make great things like paintings or epics and you've made a webcomic on Blogspot?
I'll cut you some slack, though. At least this isn't fucking Homestuck.
Jesus Christ Homestuck.
Go ahead and google that shit if you haven't seen it because man.
Jesus Christ I can't continue with this entry. Here it is.
Maybe this was a bad setup for this but do you see what I mean?
Do you see how fucking long this is and how the pictures add precisely nothing to the already incredibly long winded and boring talky bits?
Have you ever read a comic and you wonder why they writer didn't just write an essay instead of jamming pictures of people in with the rambling (Ctrl, Alt, Delete)?
At least they try to frame the paragraphs in drawings. This is just brazenly setting the bad art apart from the bad words in some sort of bland pap that defies my eyes' ability to focus long enough to form meaning out of it.
Who cares about your depression, honestly?
You have to make me want to care and all you're making me want to do is watch Girl's Generation videos.

Some people have a legitimate reason to feel depressed, but not me. I just woke up one day feeling sad and helpless for absolutely no reason.

Uh oh, here we go: Youtube open.

It's disappointing to feel sad for no reason. Sadness can be almost pleasantly indulgent when you have a way to justify it - you can listen to sad music and imagine yourself as the protagonist in a dramatic movie.

I think Warhammer teaches us there's never not a good reason to be a little sad with how things turned out but mostly you should be angry.
The two prime motivators in life, really.
Already don't care--

Touchstone (a division of Simon & Schuster) will tentatively release my book in Fall 2012, which sounds like it's a long time away, but really, it's only the gestation period of two slightly premature babies. And if you're a time-traveler, then it can be as soon as you want it to be. It can be now!

It is this easy to get published.
I blame my own exacting standards for quality as the only reason I haven't been published yet. It truly is that redundant.
Man already I'm struggling with this blog. Despite all the pretense this really is a typical white wahm whining.
Like imagine if I drew pictures for this fucking thing. Would you like it if the entry just had this every other sentence? Like here's me reading this fucking thing:

The bottom of the chair strategically positioned to look like my wiener.
Note to ladies: drawn to scale.
But even that doesn't work because while my drawing was at least passingly amusing and got to the point with no words at all this blog is a thousand unfunny pictures and words on top of paragraphs in between. Like holy fuck I think I'm going crazy dissecting how much of a bad idea this is.

I've been getting lots of emails with subject lines like "R U dead???" and "POST SOMETHING MOTHERF*CKER!"  and "Wheeeerrrrrree aaaaaarrrrrrrre yyyooooooouuuuu???"

You know you can say motherfucker on the internet.
I say it regularly.
Usually it's directed at someone.
Yesterday I was playing EVE Online and someone decided to act a fucking fool.
This motherfucker said he was smarter than me.
And maybe he is. I can't say.
It was his attitude.
I'M SITTING HERE DOING DIFFERENTIAL CALCULUS WHILE TALKING TO YOU.
I'm going to give you 30 seconds to apologize or this is about to get fucking ugly.
And he didn't.
Well let's see if all those smarts can keep his cash safe.
Now I'm being confronted by a graph that doesn't seem like it can be fully represented on 3 dimensions--
Jesus Christ can you believe this blog is still going on?
I certainly fucking can't. How can you have so little to say yet stretch it out for an eternity?

Legend has it that many bloggers don't post very much during the holidays.

Oh what's up I post more during the Holidays

I am the greatest.
I injured myself yesterday.  You might be wondering if this injury occurred while I was rescuing a child from a burning building, but no. It didn't. 

I saw pictures of you. I have never seen anyone in my entire life that inspires less confidence than I currently have in you.
In case you were wondering, well--
Here it is.

Remember when I wrote that post responding to that guy named Kyle who called me ugly and unfunny and it was exactly like when Tyra Banks got called fat and then protested by coming out on stage in a bathing suit and everybody said “wow, she’s so brave!” and she was lauded as a hero by self-esteem challenged women everywhere?

That was pretty sweet.

Anyway, I made a video. It's for Kyle.

I cut the link because the link now 404s so I guess the whole thing has been deleted.
I wonder what she'd say about this entry.
This is less "you're ugly and not funny" and more a protracted study in why your blog is so shit so maybe she'd appreciate it?
I'm helping you, lady. It's a service I'm providing for nothing.
Fuck.
The only songs I know of that can cancel how shit this blog is anything by Al Green.

Oh Christ

I need a second.
I was configuring some Might and Magic 1: Secrets of the Inner Sanctum in DOSBox and the sound that projected from my headphones was so horrific and loud I think I legally died for a full minute.
If you were wondering what the worst noise ever the answer is a PC emulating an early 80s PC making system beeps at 3 quarters volume in a sick mockery of music.
Also the instructions said I needed an Apple II emulator when clearly it's the DOS version.
I don't know if anyone is on their A game in this production.
Also there are no sound settings for this fucking game.
Maybe I can force Soundblaster 16 emulation?
Maybe I'll just mute the whole thing.
Oh.
Not sure this game has music outside of the awesome intro.
Anyway let's read about this cont
And holy shit did I pick a boring blog.

And it has totally kicked my Steve/Natasha/Bucky shipping into high gear (I've written 500 words of the sequel to "Our history is just in our blood" this weekend, after months of nothing), and somehow, along with that, my no longer sekrit Chris Evans/Scarlett Johansson shipping. I don't even recognize myself! I just want them to make out a lot (both on and off-screen) and have beautiful babies and keep making movies together and trolling reporters. They're just so ADORABLE and they look like they enjoy each other's company a lot. I may have a problem. *hands* 

HURRR DURRRR

I have had a lot of caffeine today, and only a big salad to absorb it, so I might be a little (more) scattered. The big salad was good, btw. The crunchy Thai chicken salad from Just Salad, though I feel like maybe celery is unnecessary. I knew it was there, but it was a surprise every time. Also, because I am a wimp, I had them switch out the spicy peanut dressing for balsamic. Regardless, it was tasty and crunchy, though sadly lacking in cheese. I feel like every salad should have cubed fresh mozzarella in it.

Only Americans can turn something as healthy into a salad into food for fat people.

I went to see Pacific Rim this morning (though I did not know there was a scene after the credits, so I left. Curses! But if you haven't seen it yet, now you know!) and I thoroughly enjoyed it. And now I understand why there are already 9 million fusions and AUs, because it is the perfect setup for your OTP (or even OT3). But mostly my takeaway was that Mako Mori was Cass Cain and Stacker Pentecost (!!) was Bruce Wayne, and I had a lot of Batfamily feels.

What the fuck does any of that mean?
I don't know and I don't care.
That movie was fucking garbage
stop talking about it.

I did have some trouble parsing the dialogue because of the sound mixing, but also my hearing is pretty shitty when there is background noise. I look forward to the blu-ray where I can turn on the captioning. And then I can wince at the workmanlike dialogue. *hands* 

I'm not sure what "hands" means but I'm sure it's fucking obnoxious and she probably needs hit for it.

After the movie, I went grocery shopping because I am going to a fangirl gathering tomorrow and need to bring a dessert.

>fangirl gathering
>must bring desert
wow is there even enough ice cream on earth to feed that herd?

I brought home my 4 lb. pork shoulder, and poured out 2 tbsp and 2 tsp of coarse sea salt (half of what the recipe calls for, because the comments warn it can be salty) and then my brown sugar was frozen into a solid block, so I used honey instead, which doesn't caramelize the way sugar does, so it didn't get crispy on the outside, it just burned. The rest of the meat is nice and juicy and pulled apart pretty easily, so that's nice, but I might try it next time as written.

PORK SHOULDER RRRRRR

Last night, L. and I went to see Man of Steel. Since it was in 3D - not even IMAX, just 3D - the tickets cost $18.50 and with the fandango service charge, they were $20. (unfortunately, non-3D times were thin on the ground, and didn't work for our schedules on a work night.)

I can think of few movies I would happily pay $20 to see, and let me tell you, Man of Steel

MAN OF STEEL IS ONE OF THEM SQUEE *HANDS* <3 p="">just you fucking watch.

is not one of them. There was a good movie in there somewhere (not necessarily a good Superman movie, but nonetheless, there was some salvageable stuff in there) but the version that's been released is not it.

Oh.
Well what a surprise.

First off, the 3D transfer was terrible - the movie was visually dark and kind of murky, and I'm not even talking about the unsaturated colors, which I actually kind of like in general (but not for SUPERMAN. COME ON GUYS. IT'S SUPERMAN. SHOW A LITTLE RESPECT.)

Sounds like the movie. They had the gray filter on everything.
Which I like. I like unsaturated colors.
But still fuck that incoherent mess.
Also buy a fucking tripod. I know you spent a billion dollars animating every chest hair on that faggot. Buy a 20 dollar tripod.

I think you know what my fandoms are. If you pick something that's not one of my fandoms I'll either ask for something I'm familiar with or make something up.

I THINK YOU KNOW.

Yesterday afternoon, I saw Star Trek Into Darkness with a bunch of fangirls and... okay. the movie itself is moderately entertaining (especially if you don't think too hard about it), and quite often hilarious, though not, I think, in ways it was intended to be?

Movie was awesome
shut up.

I thought Cumberbatch was fine as the villain - I find him really unattractive so looking at his face bothers me, but he has a lovely voice and he was really good at being icily menacing. But, you know, he's not Khan and they shouldn't have gone there, for a variety of reasons I may or may not natter on about at great length in this post.

>fine villain but not pretty enough so I didn't like him
typical fangirl cunt whining here.
I thought he was good.
Don't know who he is outside of what these twats  have to prattle on about with Sherlock Holmes but otherwise I thought he was a competent Khan.

And speaking of the militarization of Starfleet in this timeline - so are they at war with the Klingons? I'm guessing no, because they wouldn't be sending the flagship out on a five year exploratory mission if they were, but some acknowledgement of that IN THE MOVIE would have been nice.

I guess that five minute scene about militarizing Starfleet because they'd be at war with the Klingons any second and then another scene about the new Starfleet dreadnought wasn't enough of a tip for you.
How about a giant neon sign that says "war impending you stupid fuck"?
Also the Enterprise would be a shitty flagship because in the five minute talky scene about how fucked the galaxy is if it came to a fight with Klingons it was mentioned several times that all of Starfleet was exploratory and science vessels.
Let me spell that out for you:
ships made for exploration and research tend not to be so good at fighting wars.
Remember the dreadnought scene where it caught up to the Enterprise in the warp and ripped it out of the warp by shooting right through its shields?
Exactly.
Christ you people are thick.

I think that could have been a really interesting story - the militarization of Starfleet, and Scotty's objections ("I thought we were explorers.") touched on it as well - but it gets subsumed in this ridiculous plot and then never brought up again. I mean, they could have had ONE LINE when Kirk wakes up - Kirk: "Are we at war with the Klingon Empire?" Bones: "No, Uhura convinced them it was a bad idea." - but it's just completely dropped.

How fucking stupid are you?
They spent literally five minutes on this subject in the middle of the movie.
They even traced the history of the starships with Kirk.
Were you paying any kind of attention or do you lose focus when there's no gay relationship material on screen?

Oh my god, this day. Fridays should not be this busy, nor this annoying! I was unable to connect to the network for over an hour and I was reduced to doing some filing after I ran out of copies to make! FILING! Ugh! Cruel and unusual!

The entire week has been hectic and I don't think it's going to slow down because now we're two weeks out from the next board meeting, and that always makes things crazy.

White wahm working.
Uhhhhh fuck blogs
Fuck the internet
Fuck this gay earth

A guide on how to get reck'd

Waiting for a phone call that probably isn't coming--
waitin'.
Time to kill time: only way I know how to do that is to get fucking angry at strangers on the internet.
Today we're getting a rock solid lesson in "holy shit bro what the fuck are you doing?"
This blog might be really boring because I only read like two sentences in it before I knew this is what was happening today.
Those might be the only two sentences in the entire blog worth commenting on but we'll see.

So yes, some have asked me about how to impress a Chinese girl or Asian girls in general. How?

By being white, not a complete mutant and over 5'4".
Sorry bro you're going to be forever perceived as the man who failed with white wahms instead of the wise man we both know you are.
Excuse me for going after the women classically known for not nagging you to death.
Clearly my standards are the low ones.
Retards.

By trying to learn some Tang poems. Why? In this dynasty, there was a famous poet named Li Bai, who wrote many poems about how a man should treat a woman, and he should behave around her.

Holy shit bro
what the fuck are you doing?
God I can just imagine this class.
I remember this class.
I felt embarrassed for the guy.
Then I leaned over to the girl and said "look at this asshole" and she laughed.
Yeah that's right. Thanks for setting up a perfect situation to hit on a chick that I didn't monopolize on.

He critisized "rape, possessivity and jealousy" in relationships between a man and a woman. He got very disappointed by his fellow males' behavior around females (for example, badmouthing the Woman's country and relatives and saying, rude, sexual things when complimenting her and not being honest when doing so).


So here's how to be a real "gentleman" in China and to make her see you as a man in my culture: 

Harr getting a lesson from some mutant on the internet in not being a mutant

In Chinese Mandarin, the poem would be thus :

Chuan qiang ming yue guan,
Ye lai feng yu sheng.
Hua Luo zhi duo shao. 

Thanks for noting the tones, asshole. This is as unintelligible to me as it is to a Chinese person.

Recipe 176 : Why Asian Men "cannot" date White Women

Why would they want to, exactly?
I call those guys (all both times I've seen them) "dark wise men" or "bizarro wise men".
I'm sure that's the thing to do in whatever dimension they're originally from.
Don't judge them just because they're interdimensional travelers you fuck.
Look at how they adopted our customs by not wearing shoes on your hands.

Whom are gorgeous and stunning if you ask me here (E.G Jennifer Aniston, Liv Tyler, Kate Blanchet, Princess Diana from England, Tiger Woods' ex-wife). I'll be unveiling the reasons why in a few. 

Wow bro.
Wow.
I'm going to tell you the theme song of today's update.
Just put this on in the background and I think you'll see where I'm coming from pretty much always.

1. His Mother has "absolute power" over him in China, so she decides everything for him. So if any "White Vixen" or "Blond whore" is trying "to steal/take her flesh and blood away from her", she'll resist, mark my words, like any Mother would. I'm sorry to offend anyone, but that's the way White Ladies are "called" in my native dialect. 

Is that true?
I sort of believe it.

2. So to get his parents' "yes you may/can be our daughter-in-law", the White girlfriend must first try to get his mother's affections or to "earn her trust" by giving her gifts, showing her attention (like in some Asian dramas). Or she could try to give her a massage and etc. And the White girlfriend must try to convince his mum to "let" her be his girfriend and then wife.  

"Or she could try to give her a massage."
You sure this was a drama and not a porno?

3. White women are perceived as "dirty" and loving "free relationships" too much in the Mainland. By that, I mean "no strings' attached" or "on-and-off" relationships in modern English. Now I think some White women do truly love (or are really in love with) their Asian boyfriends, having seen some such couples in my life. So some Chinese mothers (with a traditional mind) would see the White girlfriend as a "threat in her family trying to tempt her son with her evil, seductive ways and trying to break her family up". Again, "no sex before marriage" in some Asian parents' minds, particularly the Mainlanders. In short, White females=demons, harpies and witches in the Chinese, Japanese and Korean cultures... which I myself don't think it's true by the way here. 

"White women are harpies"
Mainland Chinese wisdom or this blog's wisdom?

4. So for the Asian (and mostly the Han) male, the White female is the Forbidden Fruit, the bad influence or how to say it : the guilty pleasure. And he'd be "breaking traditions" by taking a White wife or by being engaged to a White woman in some Asian societies. For example, Mainland China. His own people would be asking him : "Where's your Asian wife"? Or telling him to "go back to your Asian wife". 

We're still left with an important bullet that isn't covered:
Why would he want this setup in the first place?

To conclude my article here, some tips from me to some White wives or girlfriends in this predicament : do not try (or refrain from doing so) to convert him to Christianism or some Western religions. And please avoid "badmouthing" China or saying China's communist and Satanist or the Chinese gvnt's "wrong". And again, do not talk about his looks so openly in her house. And some Asians (Hans mainly) are very "sheltered" boys indeed and their Mums would try to "protect" them by interfering in their lovelife or sexlife. 

"Christianism"
come on m8
check it.
Also thanks for the advice, I guess. If you're a Chinese man and any of this is true you sound pretty fucked.
"Mama won't allow it so just date an Asian girl" is how this all translates to me.
I don't even believe this is true. This guy is full of shit.
He just seems full of shit.

Recipe 175 : Why Westerners are off-limit to Han Women?

They're not.
God the internet.

Especially living in Mainland China, why indeed? 1stly, China's many Western countries's number 1 enemy currently, politically, economically and religiously speaking.

Ignoring that's not even a coherent thought how in the fuck is the West China's main economic enemy?
Quick Google search of China's #1 trading partner:
WOW WHAT DO YOU KNOW IT'S THE US.

So saying things like "Free Tibet, Free Mongolia" in China definitely won't help (would even get you ennemies) as Hans are extremely patriotic. So if you as a Westerner go there and say these things on the streets or in downtown Bei Jing(as it's a very sensitive and hot topic on Bei Jing news and etc), you won't have a chance with a Han girl. 

If I'm in China why in the fuck am I whinging about shit I don't care about?
"FREE TIBET" is a sure way to get in some girl's pants.
I bet that wouldn't even work at some pussy sensitivity rally here.
Get your act together.

And in conclusion here today, I'd like to ask European males a question, why such obsession with and such attraction to Han Chinese women? Are there not enough beautiful women in the West too? Why not pick one of your own Women as a lifemate/companion? 

Brother
I'm cutting you some slack because you're actually Chinese as it turns out
but seriously get reck'd.

And also, best solution to this problem, according to me : marry within your own race/ethnicity! Otherwise, too much complications. On these thoughts, nice dreams and have a nice week-end! 

Where did you go so horribly wrong?

How do we (the Chinese) look at the Koreans or feel about the Japanese?


Well, first off, raw historical facts : Japan invaded Korea and China. China aided the Koreans for a decade or so. It's much like the Israel-Palestine issue in the Middle-East. 

Genghis Khan also tried (and failed) to invade Japan.
He didn't try that hard though.
I think he'd have succeeded if he hadn't said "well never mind then."

I know I may or might sound strange or weird, but yeah... my family doesn't care all that much about what the Japanese did to the Chinese during WWII. Of course, my grandparents do... but my dad/mum would buy me sushi and Japanese tea even because I like it. And I told them to not be racist against them (the Japanese). My parents never taught me to hate them. So I'm a Chinese girl, but a Japanophile.

This is a girl?
Wow ok.
Didn't see that one coming--
She can still get reck'd though.
So I'm now interpreting that earlier advice of "learning some poem from the dark age" as ways to get into her pants.

So yeah many wondered about this and have asked me questions about it... why are social appearances and honor important in China? Why do they matter so much in a Chinese girl's eyes? Well... it's related to "loosing and saving face" in my earlier post. E.G some girls would buy "brand items" just for "keeping up her own appearance and saving her honour before others". This could/may be looked upon/on as a new form of "superficiality and/or materialism" in the modern Chinese society.

This isn't nearly as interesting as the advice I got from a Korean girl:
"if you want to marry a Korean girl you have to beat her father at Starcraft first."
So if anything I'll say just going off the last two days of interaction with Asian women Korean girls aren't quite as heavy duty as all this.
Although considering Starcraft is a national sport there part of me wonders if she wasn't serious.
Maybe putting all my eggs in the Warhammer basket was a mistake.

Recipe 156 : How to date an Asian girl

Finally some practical advice from one of these fucking things.
How long have I been waiting?
Like four years or something?

1. Always try to see : what's good for her and not for you (as a guy/male) only and "What's in it for her"? And "What are you (the male or guy) to her"? Please don't be male-centered when "being with or dating one". And always be on-time when having rdzs/dates with her... She'd (the Chinese girl) hate you for being late. And course, this might/may change as your relationship goes on but yeah. Do not piss her off by "being late on your first date".

Oh thanks.
Never would have guessed being on time was important.
False alarm people.

Interestingly enough, Chinese girls "adored" a "family or home-Goddess" 'round the 3 kingdom's dynasty (3 k years ago in our history), much like the Greek deity Hestia.

Yeah definitely false alarm.
I know for a fact this deity (and Hestia) aren't this fucking crazy.
I think you're confusing what you think the gods tell you to do for your own mental instability.
Leave it to me to skip over all the blogs that are Asian girls just talking about usual shit and go right for the crazy.
Also don't presume to tell me how to live honorably. I use Zeus as a pattern for my conduct. I know what it is to be honorable more than any man alive.

7. My friendly advice : absolutely do not kiss her while meeting her parents, you (as her Western bf) would be an embarrassment to her and her whole family. How will she marry you later on?

This one bit of advice comes up like 87,000 times. The impression I'm getting is this is the key to dating Asian women.
Yeah I know Asian countries aren't big on the public displays of affection.
I'm cool with it.
Whatever.

In Chinese, eumphemisms are intoned in the voice or used in oral Chinese. For example, telling your Chinese sweetheart "I want to sleep with you" would sound too crude in her ears, the euphemism I'd use here would be : "let's make flowers.", which would mean something similar to or along the lines of: "let's make love/have baby flowers" in English. 

I'm going to have to go to "dating Chinese women" summer camp, that's it.
Does this come with a workbook or something?
Also I've met Chinese women. They're not this particular.

It's highly complimentary to her also when you call her "My Mei Zi",

I can't pronounce "Zi".
It's not like "zee" it's like some noise no human can make.
ZRRRRRRRRERRR.
ZUUUUUURRRRRRRRREEEEERRRRRR.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZI.
That's it I can't date Chinese women.
I can't even swing basic terms of endearment.
But I can school a motherfucker in an RTS so I'm feeling good about Korean women still.

because you're comparing her to the flower's seed firstly and then her sweetness to the "Queen of Flowers" in China. That's the whole symbolism/meaning 'hind our Mei Hua.

You'll need to :

1. Get some Mei Hua petals and some Asian prune Honey (could make the Honey yourself or buy it at some Asian supermarkets). 

I know it probably seems very insulting to question someone about their own culture but I seriously don't believe any of this is actually applied today.
This seems like turn of (last) century shit.
I'm going to cross check this later.

Let's make on today's recipe : the Elixir from Heavens. 

Isn't that the thing Sun Wukong steals in Journey to the West and gets damned to 10,000 years of cleaning the heavenly stables?
I knew this woman was trouble.

1. You may/can use some dried fruits like Chinese prunes, lichees, some mandarins, or Gui Yuans, which are the rarest ever planted in China and very yummy to have or drink in a can.

2. Peel them, get their seeds out and put th' into a glass and crush those into a machine, to extract the juice out of it. Serve it cooled to guests or yourself when feeling mouth-watering.

The Gui Yuans were concubine Yang's favourite in the Tang dynasty's. This caused the Kingdom to fall into Darkness and crumble because when the Tang Emperor learnt she's lik'd them, to keep her happy and all smiling in his Palace, he's gotten her so many on their Lovers' day that he's left none for the' poor at all. What's your feelings and thoughts about this recipe? Wouldn't you like to try this? 

A drink so hardcore it made an entire empire fall into a dark age.
Fucking
what?

I'd like to teach you all or everyone how to use some idiomatical expressions in a Chinese sentence/phrase, and how to court and woo a distinguished Lady in China.

So far your steps to dating a distinguished lady involve way more cooking than I'm comfortable with.

How to ask her out : you should just read her some Shakespearean verses and poetry and then take her out to a tea pleace, English tea is preferred there because it's "in" and fashionable in my Country.

Now I know you're bullshitting. There's no way Shakespeare is part of your dating rituals.
He wasn't alive until the late 1500s and so far all of your dating rituals are circa the Roman Empire.
How about I just quote her something from the 6th edition Warhammer rulebook?
"We are judged in life by the evil we destroy."
"Call no man free until he is dead."
"Such is the price of failure."
"My armor is contempt. My shield is faith. My sword is hate. In the Emperor's name, let none survive."
If that doesn't get a bitch going then she's no bitch of mine.

A way to flirt with or win an English young lad's hand/feelings: "you're my knight in shiny armor or you've a Sailor's soul=you've a brave man or a Lion's heart/soul to me."

Okay I know English people.
I suspected before you were full of shit but I didn't want to say too much because you're (apparently) actually Chinese but now I know you're a bullshitter.
If you said that to an English girl she'd (quite rightly) laugh at you until you stopped being such a pud.
You have the soul of a lion?
Are you trying to pick up a British chick or are you trying to date an anime character/furry?
Thine soul is of gilden nature
let none wrest it from thee
I mean are you fucking kidding?

Here's how to confess your love to an Arabic girl in China: "M'Lady, May I unveil thine Moonlit Crescents, so they might be reflected in my eyes forever..." May = could or let=asking permission in Chinese/Arabic. 

Here's how you actually propose to a girl:
"hey baby wanna get married?"
I'll admit it's less poetic but on the other hand she probably won't laugh at you for the suggestion.
I'm changing the title to this blog. Originally it was "HOLY SHIT BRO" but I'm changing it to "a guide on how to get reck'd"
How to date Asian women:
write her circa-13th century inspired sonnets
how to date a British chick:
write her circa-13th century inspired sonnets
how to date an American chick:
no one knows because they're harpies.
I've never seen a blog less informed about women than mine.
And this one was written by a fucking wahm.
I'm honestly at a loss for words at the moment.

I’ve tasted the Nectar of Aphrodite as some would say…

That'd be honey.
Don't worry people I've come fully equipped for this blog.
I've read literally all of the same bronze age mythology she has.
And while I've distilled the wisdom of the ancients into the world's greatest creed she seems to be struggling with what to call honey.
The trick I find is take all the superstition and use it metaphorically.
You should pay attention to ancient people when they're being pragmatic because when ancient people were pragmatic it meant shit was getting real.
The more real to life your personal philosophy seems the more people will disagree with it and the more hardcore it seems.
So the cooler your own words sound and the more horrified the people around you get the closer to the truth you are.
Basically if you're not bullshitting here's what being a human with thoughts is like.
Oh man.
Made it to the start of this shit.
Man that was really bizarre.
Well I hope we all learned a lot.
About stuff and things.
And shit.
Fuck.

Market Research

I've been doing extensive (and I do mean extensive) market research at my target audience for this blog because frankly I don't advertise so I'm kind of curious about how the literally dozens of unique hits per week (recent spike in activity ahoy!) found out about this travesty.
The number one audience, unsurprisingly, is the United States of America. Apparently the bile I spew about 'Murikuh hit a patriotic cord.
Second biggest audience?
France.
No I don't understand it either. I did find a new love for France teaching French class (a school I substitute for frequently seems to be under the mistaken impression I know French and I'm not about to tell them they're wrong) but I'm pretty sure I have called them cowards or surrender monkeys or something on this blog before.
Either way I'm sure my puerile hatred of Europe has found a place in their heart.
The third biggest market is the kicker: China.
My love for Asian women is well known but I somehow doubt that translated. I'm guessing some sort of marketing scheme.
Or maybe my pure hatred for corruption and ineffectual governments has struck a cord of love in the Middle Kingdom.
I can't say.
What I do know is 41% of you are reading this on Internet Explorer. What is wrong with you, friend?
1% of you are on Safari. You can stop reading as far as I'm concerned.
The fourth and fifth biggest markets (Ukraine [what] and Sweden) lag so far behind the three big ones it doesn't bear mentioning.
Anyway I'm just putting off having to review a blog.
I've done some extra homework for once and once I heard George Zimmerman was found not guilty I immediately went to Dreamwidh to find the biggest twat whinging about it and it didn't take long.
This wahm won a spot for Monday's update largely based on two criteria: her infantile whining about George Zimmerman and social justice and in addition her love for the movie Pacific Rim.
I had just seen that piece of shit so that kind of brought my piss to a boil.

What the verdict tells us is, to the astonishment of tens of millions of us, that you can go looking for trouble in Florida, with a gun and a great deal of racial bias, and you can find that trouble, and you can act upon that trouble in a way that leaves a young man dead, and none of it guarantees that you will be convicted of a crime.

I was interested to see how Dreamwidth would handle this.
On one hand booo perceived racism but on the other hand yaaaaay all women jury.
As we all know no one on Dreamwidth can be happy and just not whine so I reckoned early on if he was found guilty it'd be a "hurrah check your privilege white man" but if he'd been found not guilty it'd have been "boo racism :(" either way they get to whine.
I don't care about this trial, frankly. I was interested from a purely sociological standpoint.

This case was pretty open and shut as you can get, ladies and gentlemen whom are not listening to this post in the least. I've seen Black men and women convicted on almost little no evidence for shit that don't even have anything to do with murder and manslaughter, but this motherfucker gets off without so much as a Manslaughter charge for stalking and killing a young man in cold blood because he needed get off on his gun. That and no one thought to charge his ass with it. The verdict doesn't surprise me, but that doesn't mean I can't be fucking angry about it. Thanks for reminding me what my position in this white driven society is, America. I sure as hell don't mean shit if Zimmerman can avoid not guilty and manslaughter charges for killing a young man for merely existing in Florida.

I guess she's black?
I don't know. It's hard to tell with women on Dreamdwidth. They'll appropriate any cause they feel will get them sympathy points for being a victim.
It honestly wouldn't surprise me if this turned into a "well if this happens to a man imagine what happens to women".

Blog: Words Fail me right now. I will get academic later, though. PACIFICRIMISTHEWINNER!

It was a huge piece of shit. Insipid dialogue, nonexistent characterization, poorly framed, cartoonish action and plot twists so stupid it actually made me stupid watching.

Idris Elba was the King of the movie and Rinko Kikuchi was the Queen. 

The part that pisses me off is it should have been a slam dunk. White guy pilots giant robots and then bangs Asian chicks.
It's basically what goes on in my head 24/7 but no, they somehow fucked up the easiest movie on earth to make.

First world problems: The closest one in my area decided it wasn't going to have any showings of Pacific Rim period. Fucking A, Mr. Convenience, you had to choose the one day I wanna go to a premiere to be Mr. Inconvenience, did you?

The theater I went to accidentally started showing Man of Steel.
I feel like it was warning me. "You don't know it now but you'd rather sit through this turd again."
It's true. If I'm a captive audience at a theater I'd rather sit through that again than Pacific Rim.

We’ve all always suspected that Johnny Depp’s portrayal of the pidgin English-speaking wildman Tonto in ‘The Lone Ranger’ might be more than a little racist, but now that we have an abundance of official images to go on, we can say conclusively that yep, this character is offensive as hell. 

Don't worry the movie sucks hard.
Pacific Rim was so bad guys--
I think I'd rather sit through Lone Ranger again.
That's how bad it was I'm dead fucking serious.

SO IT WOULD APPEAR Pacific Rim is about to suffer the same problem Remember Me experienced as far as viewership and attendance goes. Those who somehow got a hold of its tracking announce that its being beaten out by the worse comedian ever and his sequel to his equally awful movie, Adam Sandler. 

Remember Me?
The video game?
That like 5 people played and is already 40% off on the Steam Sale (still not spending 30 dollars on it)?

I'm wishing that Aisha Tyler had been considered for Lois Lane in "Man of Steel". Lord knows she's got the looks, the personality and the passion to pull the character off without a hitch. Problem is, she'd just be stuck with the same bland interpretation of the character from David Goyer Amy Adams had to deal with.

Not sure the American audience is ready for Superman to go interracial.
She is a lot hotter than that 5/10 white wahm they went with though but that seems to be what the American people demand so who am I to judge?
... Seriously I bet you people just read right through that sentence without another thought.
"Who am I to judge?"
I JUDGE ALL.
Holy shit she did mean Remember Me the video game and not some movie I've never heard of.
Who gives a fuck?

Kotaku.com tends teeter on the edge of offensive to rare-moments-of-clarity. This time its the first and not the latter and since this is coming from an author who appears to understand why it’s a big deal video games have Black protagonists or female protagonists in video games

That chick is black?
Are you fucking joking?
Black--
as in during character gen they picked the "not lily white" option, right?
What the fuck black person has blue eyes?

JEAN-MAXIME MORIS: No, we wanted Nilin to stand out. I think these sort of issues become self-fulfilling prophesies; people saying that only white males sell so then everyone only does white males. If you start believing these things, you get your head inside this cold marketing strategy that you cannot get your head around. It becomes a pretty fucking racist and misogynistic way of thinking about lead characters.

And 5 people  bought the game so I guess they were right.
White male protagonists let's do this shit.

It was their belief that Nilin’s status was a biracial woman (Black mother, white Father) should have no standing on her ability to stand as a the headliner of a game, that the belief as stated above is not only racist, but a misogynistic mantra that many won’t or do not challenge.

Kotaku.com’s Evan Narcisse attempts to argue the same under the pretense. However, he suggests that because “Remember Me” doesn’t discuss the issue of race and her status as biracial and female, this means that her being a Black Woman “doesn’t matter” in the role of a protagonist at all and it does.

See what I mean when I say don't waste your time with this piece of shit?
It's the future and I can inject other peoples' memories into my brain but the real issue here is what race the DNA the main character's mother got injected with.
Not, you know, the moral and ethical ramifications of injecting someone's memories into your brain.
I know virtually nothing about this game outside of a 3 minute Broteam review and the opening sentence of the Wikipedia page and already I can think of a handful of far more interesting issues than the pedigree of some slut:
1. how do I know my memories are my own if this technology exists?
2. what defines a memory?
3. what am I if not a collection of reactions to past things and a current interpretation of events based on those reactions?
4. Nostalgia is generally accepted to be a necessary emotion to keep down angst about the ever-changing definition of who you are (no one holds the exact same opinions they did when they were a child or even six months ago, for instance) so does that change if your memories aren't your own?
BUT NOPE, ALL THAT MATTERS IS THE MAIN CHARACTER IS A BIRACIAL WAHM.

A nice Cheerios advertisement whose only discernible difference from other Cheerios commercials is that it depicts an interracial family was forced to disable its YouTube comments section today after it became inundated with virulent racism. 

Genius.
Get everyone whining.
Personally I'd have an interracial transgender couple in my commercial.

I am biracial. My mom is black and my dad is white. My family often had the audacity to eat breakfast even though cereal was not being specifically marketed to us. When I was growing up, there were no families on television that resembled mine. My family was something of an anomaly in the overwhelmingly white neighborhood of Seattle where I lived. When I was with my mom, people would look at me and ask, “What is she?” When I was with my dad, people would ask, “Is she Italian?” 

Most Americans are part Italian.
Most of my ancestors were Roman, though.
Here's the character from that shitty video game.
Would you have ever guessed in a thousand years she was supposed to be part black?
Ignoring the fact the entire game has this shitty effect where everything looks like it was dipped in Tang but you can't even tell.
There's this thing called facial morphology and most video game makers haven't heard of it.

Capcom really needs to learn to divide its series up between different characters instead of pigeonholing the series to just Chris and Jill. Claire Redfield hasn't been seen in a primary game since Code Veronica, Rebecca Chambers and Billy Coen have all but fallen off the face of the Earth; the characters of Outbreak have yet to be seen in another game and the list goes on. Sheva (and Josh Stone) is just another in a long line of "new characters" to join the ranks of the unvisited after their initial showing. It's a shame, really, because she was one of the best parts of RE5 outside Excella.

People care about the plot of Resident Evil?
Since when?
Here's the plot of Resident Evil.
People care about that.

    Spleepoppetween wrote:
    People bitched about that pretty much because there's Black Africans in Africa that were being shot which is the dumbest thing I've heard, I doubt they're avoiding making a certain race of characters over a group of dumb people who made a dumb accusation.




Except that it wasn't bitching, a lot of it was pretty justified when you step back from the knee-jerk reaction of ''Resident Evil'' being deconstructed from a critical standpoint at all. Especially when the arguments were valid once you start looking at the social implications of a white character (Chris Redfield) and a light-skinned [West] African woman (Sheva Alomar) killing en masse her darker skinned counterparts.

Throw in how people in Africa are depicted as downtrodden "savages" in need of rescue from a white counter part and you've got a problematic recipe for disaster that most were right to point out. 

... They're not just shooting black people. They're shooting black people infected by some sort of fuck off leech zombie virus.
Here's a post bitching about how roleplaying always has to be about two gay guys in a romantic relationship and why can't they just be friends?
Because you're dealing with a group of people with 0 social interaction. That's why.

All are modeled after women of color. Not that this is an important part of any of their identities, but it’s still a very conscious choice on the developer’s parts in an industry where anything but ‘white male’ is an other. The few earlier, well-established video game women are all white (ex. Samus Aran, Lara Croft, Joanna Dark, Sarah Kerrigan).

Lara Craft is actually half black and looks it, unlike the other game you were mentioning.
Do you even play video games?
Samus Aran is also like 6'7" or something ridiculous and can fold herself into a ball (bending her spine the wrong way) so I suspect she's a different species.

Inspired by Anita Sarkeesian’s Video Game Tropes vs Women, I wanted to pitch a Zelda game where Zelda herself was the hero, rescuing a Prince Link.

Shiek was Zelda in disguise and Shiek basically saved Link's stupid ass throughout all of Ocarina of Time.
Do you people even play video games?
Ha, ha here's something asking me to take a pledge: "gamers against bigotry".
No and thank you. That'll get in the way of the killing.
Nonstop whining about video games and black people--
Nonstop whining about video games and women--
All right I've decided I'm done with this shit.

Gaben

STEAAAAAAAAAAAM SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALE
My wallet is ready, Gaben. Please take all my money.
Day 1 acquisitions: Rogue Legacy- AKA what if Rogue-likes weren't all fucking gay and stupid and Hotline Miami- AKA what happened if the 80s never ended and turned into a surreal horror story.
Anyway Dreamwidth was playing some whiny music I couldn't find the source of (I think some twat uploaded it and set it to autoplay so the main page was just playing it by default) but none of that matters because this blog comes via request.
Yeah I'm popular enough to get requests.
Anyway I'm just waiting for the new Steam sales.

Holy mackerel, ya'll, I have ninety-nine volunteers for transcript work. I'm pretty sure that if we haven't broken some kind of Volunteer Transcripting Feminist Brigade then we will soon if I keep getting more folks on board. SOMEONE CALL GUINNESS.  

Transcribing the important texts.
Pop quiz, everyone: name one feminist author and one book she wrote.
Margaret Atwood doesn't count because that's just bondage fetishist writings masquerading as whining woman bullshit.

Yesterday, I noted that the farm bill had passed the House with no funding for food stamps. The expectation was that Republicans were wrenching the two apart in order to attack the food stamp program with deep cuts. And so it begins:

Yeah. Cut food stamps but continue subsidizing crops that don't need subsidized anymore.
Bang up job all around, retards.
We're saving money while losing even more money to shit we don't want to cut because we'd lose graft!
I say cut everything.
Man is a wolf to man, as the Romans used to say.

THE REPUBLICAN PARTY THINKS PEOPLE ARE NOT ENTITLED TO FOOD.

Well I mean technically speaking you aren't entitled to anything. There was a time not too long ago where if you didn't grow/make money to buy your own food you were pretty much fucked. There was no social net to catch you.
I might contend with all of our progress and technology (which, like all great scifi authors, I believe hasn't set us as far apart from beasts as we like to believe it does) we should be a bit beyond letting people starve but trusting man to overcome is own nature to do so is a bit silly.
If I were people I'd try to endure and overcome because at the end of the day the only thing you can trust to get a job done right is you.

They think people are not entitled to jobs. They think people are not entitled to healthcare. They think people are not entitled to homes. They think people are not entitled to education. They think people are not entitled to safety. They think people are not entitled to equality. They think people are not entitled to vote. They think people are not entitled to agency. They think people are not entitled to any of what the baseline security of being a citizen in a wealthy democracy should guarantee.

Pretty sure the constitution entitles you to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It doesn't entitle you to any of the shit you just mentioned.
PURSUIT of happiness doesn't mean you'll achieve it.
It's like Steam achievements, man. Just because the game lists 60 achievements doesn't mean you'll get them all.
You gotta play it and do well.
Or if it's like most games beat the game then get really lucky with the rest.
This blog is really boring.
Why did this come requested?

[Content Note: Hostility to agency.]

What the fuck does that mean, exactly?

Hey, ya bunch of radical feminist weirdos! Long time no talk about LOVING AMERICA.

Man, all this abortion talk lately has really been getting under my skin. Along with three ticks I acquired while fishing with my best friend Dick Balzac last weekend, but I guess that ain't relevant right now. 

What the fuck does that mean?
I'm not reading all this.
More abortion shit I don't care about--

[Content Note: References to death and disaster.]

From a recent interview with British Cosmopolitan (What—did you think she would do an interview with NOT-British Cosmopolitan? You're so weird.):

    [Paltrow] disagrees with doctors who warn patients to avoid tanning. "We're human beings and the sun is the sun -- how can it be bad for you? I think we should all get sun and fresh air," the actress tells British Cosmopolitan. "I don't think anything that is natural can be bad for you -- it's really good to have at least 15 minutes of sun a day."

Well it does help with Vitamin D production.
She is right. Being outside 15 minutes probably won't kill you.
While I haven't been outside a contiguous 15 minutes in the last month that doesn't mean it's inherently harmful.
I just see no need to venture out.
She then proceeds to bitch for about five paragraphs about nature could conceivably harm you.
It's true it could but that's unlikely.
Being inside could harm you. You could accidentally swallow your own tongue if you contemplated how boring you are.

[Content Note: Fat bias; eliminationism; racism.]

What is eliminationism?
Sounds like something I need to be a part of.
Wikipedia defines eliminationism as:

Eliminationism is the belief that one's political opponents are "a cancer on the body politic that must be excised — either by separation from the public at large, through censorship or by outright extermination — in order to protect the purity of the nation".[1]

That gets a cool out of yes in my book.

Yesterday afternoon, I had the amazing opportunity to speak to a photography class taught by Shaker gwyllion about the Beauty Standard, culturally constructed norms, visibility, and transgressive/deviant beauty, specifically around fat bodies (although during the Q&A following my Skype talk I ended up talking a lot about other marginalized bodies, too, like trans* bodies, bodies with visible disabilities, etc.). 

What the shit?
If I majored in photography (I'd switch majors to something less useless) but if I majored in photography and that's what the class was about I'd walk the fuck out.
I'M TRYING
TO LEARN HOW TO TAKE A GODDAMN PICTURE.
I DON'T NEED THIS COW MOANING AT ME.

[Content note: Discussion of trans*phobia]

Gaben if this is the Steam sale today I think my wallet is going to come out largely intact.
75% off a game that barely fucking works.
COUNT ME THE FUCK IN!
50% off Fez, AKA pretentious hipster garbage!
HOLY SHIT.

[Content Note: Image of gun.]

The hilarious thing about this warning is I saw the gun before the warning.
Unless your monitor is especially small or you've configured your browser in a clever way you're almost guaranteed to have the gun and the warning on screen at the same time.

This weekend, after being friends online for a very long time, Jessica Luther (@scatx) and I met in person for the first time. And it was amazing. And we talked about all the things.

ALL THE THINGS THERE IT IS
I WAS WAITING
God that's the worst saying there is.
WE TALKED ABOUT ALL THE THINGS~
I can almost hear the annoying high pitched whine her voice hits to say that.
It really just needs an anime emoticon to bring my piss to a boil.
ALL THE THINGS ^.^
God I'm so fucking angry.

f you have appreciated being able to tune into Shakesville for coverage of the goings-on in Texas, or the recent Supreme Court decisions, or discussion of Paula Deen's racism free of fat hatred, ageism, and regionalism, please remember that Shakesville is run exclusively on donations. I would certainly appreciate your support, if you can afford to chip in. The donation link is in the sidebar to the right. 

Her blog is Shakesville.
She's asking for a handout.
Incidentally if you want to support the only guy who tells you how it is consider donating to Edie Finds a Corpse.

What is something you regularly do that people might consider "old fashioned?"

I'm not offended by everything I see or read.
I know, I know: way old fashioned but what can I say?

As for me, I still totes play my Atari 2600. For a long time, I was just super uncool. Now I'm a "retro gamer." LOL.

GRRRRL GAMER HERE

I don't use birth control.

I don't use birth control because I'm in a relationship with a man, and we would like to become pregnant. 

You mean you.
If he becomes pregnant that'd be worrying.

Two years ago, we spent a lot of time and money and tears trying to become pregnant through IVF -- a step we thought was necessary due to low sperm count after a vasectomy and vasectomy reversal -- but we didn't succeed. We didn't succeed because all the embryos we created ended up failing to thrive due to genetic abnormalities; the doctors decided that my husband and I were genetically incompatible to create healthy babies. 

Sounds like weak genes.
I think it'd be best if you adopted--
although your life outlook is an aberration, too.
Maybe cloying, crushing loneliness is best for you.
Fuck this gay earth.

Mining & Meteors

I could be mining.
Or stopping Sephiroth from dropping a meteor into the planet in Final Fantasy 7.
Or stop the Empire from dropping a meteor into the planet in Final Fantasy 14.
Square has one plot and they milk it.
But no, I'm here updating this shit.
You're welcome.

I have a pile of books that has been sitting next to the computer for a Very Long Time, some of them possibly over a year. I have had Plans to review each and every one of them, because I had things that I wanted to say. But in the interests of not beating myself up over things that aren't happening, and getting the books back on shelves, I'm going to try and list them, and maybe say a sentence or two about each of them.  

Har don't care.

After an epic day of shopping/errands, the kids and I have agreed to try and not get in the car for the next three days. In fact, the only reason we are planning on going out to it is to bring in the shopping, and maaaaybe to do some cleaning.

I have bought tomatoes (2 boxes), half of IKEA (the small stuff), dry goods from Kouks, music books and attachments for music stands, a stack of TV/movie DVDs (some of which are a belated b'day present), and ex-library books (one with a g-f focaccia recipe that I'm hoping to try tomorrow!!!!)

Someone record themselves reading this out loud and post a comment with a link to it because I can't be bothered to read these words.
If it's under 20 seconds I might listen to it.

Today is the first day of a two week holiday from work. Yes, it is the school holidays, and thus there will be Stuff that needs my attention, but I'm planning on not having large expectations of myself. What I have done is grabbed a roughly A1 piece of butchers paper, blu-tacked it to the wall, and got the kids (and myself) to write possibilities all over it. In the bottom corner, I've written a set of goals, which reads:

1. Have fun
2. Learn stuff
3. Get the house sorted

 Chievo #1: beat Final Fantasy 7.
Everything else is incidental.

  some days, the fannish part of my brain wins out over the rest. which made the following *statistics* web page title a little on the double take side of things:

FAN GIRL HERE.
I LIKE HOBBIES TRADITIONALLY ASSOCIATED WITH MEN BUT--
nah fuck it.
Not going through the whole thing again.
The thing she links I literally don't understand. It's like a graph of nonsense.

 Friday, in a desperate effort to do *something* I started pulling apart the music/sewing room, and taking everything off the shelves in the back hall. These needed to be done simultaneously, as incompetence on my part meant that there were multiple part stacks of fabric in both spaces.

Yesterday, I sorted the yarn (this was the easy bit). I also dealt with large chunks of fabric. And with artisanat's help, the furniture of the music/sewing room was rearranged, such that the seats all use the open space, rather than at least one attempting to use the space the rest of the furniture was. I'm pretty happy with the results, and Stuff was chosen to declutter as well.

Today, I have attempted to keep the process going, but the most amazing case of Doorway Brain*

This blog is so douchey it has notations.
Can you believe there's a blog with notations?
Doorway Brain, for those of you begging for Armageddon might be curious about, is defined by this cunt as:

* where going through a doorway, or a reasonable facsimile of such causes the current task to escape from conscious thought, leaving one with the 'where was I going, what did I want to get done?' bafflement. 

Ooooooooor you could have saved us all aggravation at having to follow your bullshit nonsensical trains of thought around and just written "I'm a dumb slut" instead.

I asked the ratusbagusaii who wanted to go, and eldest and middlest went 'meh', while youngest bounced and squee'd. Artisanat is perfectly happy to go if others are, but isn't motivated all on his lonesome. And thus I booked 3 tickets. And halfway through that process, middlest changed zer mind. Which makes me the big bad meanie, because I wouldn't go back, and find a spot that had four seats together (or five, because I'd be betting on eldest also changing zer mind), or make any arrangements for them to come too. 

You refer to your children as "zer"?
Why?
Zer?
Are you fucking joking?
You can say "him" or "her". It probably won't offend the snowflakes.
And I doubt seriously identifying your children by their gender will endanger them.
Jesus Christ could you be any more of a cunt?

And the writing is lovely. Understated, but very enjoyable use of language. And when I say understated - there is no one section that I noticed the writing, indicating that it is consistent. This comes out in the characters as well. Apart from the viewpoint character, there are several other major characters, all of whom come across in detail, with more than just a sense of the physical description (why, yes, I've been reading stories that focus on 'the brunette', 'the dark haired one', and other such frustrating ways of 'depicting' a character). 

Only women give a shit about overly ornate character description.
Just fill in the details in your own head, Jesus.
I like how she's reviewing books for young adults.
Why is the primary literary demographic for women books about kinky bondage and books intended for children?
Is that reality or is that just my skewed perspective thanks to these shitty blogs?

it occurs to me now to ask - is there anyone reading this journal who would like access to my general locked posts, and doesn't have it? I have a pretty broad policy on this - as long as I don't work with you, and I haven't had problems with you in the past, I'm happy to add. 

Oh yes, please let me see your locked posts.
The unlocked posts have been so stultifying I'd just love to see what you've deemed inappropriate for the general public.

This morning, youngest was up at six, having attempted to stay up late last night, in order to clear out zer desk. There are neat little piles all over zer floor. The desk has now a set of very specifically located items. Not sure what zie is going to do with the rest  -

Between the really uninteresting content and the really distracting grammatical quirks (guess which one I mean) this blog is virtually unreadable. I've spent the last five minutes just staring at my market orders.
This is a set of about 10 numbers that doesn't change.
Just staring into the void.
And let me tell you, those 10 numbers were off the fucking chain compared to this bullshit.

 There is something ironic in winning an ebay bid on two balls of the main colour of a crochet project so that you can finish it...

.. and running out of the contrast colour the same day.

*sigh*

fortunately, I have a failed experiment that includes a section of that colour, so I guess I'll be unpicking it today. 

>not using accented analogic colors
plebeian garbage
The youngest child is quite clearly a girl.
She just posted a picture of her.
Why in the fuck would you use gender neutral pronouns then?
I was giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming it was some sort of motherly "I'm protecting my child's identity online" thing but no, here she is.

Which, given that it has a very narrow perspective - that of a pre-teen/early teen male - is possibly not surprising. And the handling of the main character's disability appears to be done well** - there is healing across the course of the story, but even though Odd goes to Asgard, there is no 'hand of god(dess)'***

Did I mention the notation thing is in almost every post?
Surely, you're thinking, this dumb cunt can't notate her own thoughts with further digressions about her own thoughts?
Why wouldn't she just add them in the paragraph where it's appropriate?
WELL I DON'T KNOW BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT SHE DOES.

** I hate this about the english language. I want to say hand of god and have it mean male or female or other or both or neither, but I know damn well that people will interpret it as the former, and thus I have to indicate that it isn't necessarily and argh. 

It was common in Norse and even Greek and Roman mythology to refer to the gods as male mostly because they transcended our petty notions of gender.
Even though the gods have human emotions and act in a seemingly human way they're supposed to be way superior to man so doing this bullshit gender politics nonsense is kind of stupid because I doubt it's an argument they'd want to be part of.
Like Athena was a great warrior while being a goddess.
Did anyone say "hey Athena that's a man's job"?
Everyone was too busy flipping their shit and possibly getting their shit mangled by ball lightning to notice.
This woman claims to be a scientist but I'm not buying it. Probably some sort of feminist theory scientist or something.
Those exist, I assume.
Sorry I lost interest.
Fuck blogs.

The Dick

Girl gamer here.
She likes hobbies and movies traditionally associated with men but she also likes girly things like sewing and fanfiction and internet feminism--
IS THIS TODAY'S BLOG OR EVERY SINGLE WOMAN ON THE INTERNET EVER?
I've turned off every single distraction there is to keep me from updating this shit.
No EVE, no Final Fantasy, no other reading--
just me, some background music and oblivion.

So, Kate Alexander, you just had to let readers know that the heroine of your WWII novel Friends and Enemies (1982) is pretty by having her older brother think on page 3 that if she weren't his sister, he'd find her superhot, and then having him go on to list her charms in his mind, which include "all the right curves." This makes the brother feel "uneasy." Yeah. That makes me feel uneasy, too! Even more so because the heroine is only seventeen.

>Reading books written by women
harr not today.

Apparently that was not gross enough, since on page 4, when her future love interest Gunther showed up, you had the brother think that she looked "good enough to eat." And it was just great when you compounded this literary crime by immediately headhopping into Gunther's POV in the middle of the scene, so we know that Gunther thinks she looks good enough to eat, too.

What the actual fuck? This is some V. C. Andrews–grade creepitude, except in a novel that I'm pretty damn sure isn't about incest. Did no one at any point in the publishing process feel any hint of uneasiness about this shit?

Right now I'm longing for the war to start and hoping that the creepy older brother dies before I have to read any more of his musings on the attractions of his little sister. I'm guessing that's not what you were going for.

Strong independent womyn

I've read books involving actual incest. What's your fucking problem?

Grow a set, Christ.

IF YOU'RE LINKING TO HUGE SPOILERS, HOW ABOUT NOT INCLUDING THE ACTUAL HUGE SPOILER IN THE LINK TEXT?

(SEE HOW I'M NOT HINTING AT WHAT THE SPOILER IS? OKAY I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO HINT AT THE FANDOM. YOU'LL KNOW SOON ENOUGH, BELIEVE ME.)

I've been replaying Final Fantasy 7 because it was released on Steam recently and holy Christ are people whining bitches about spoilers.

UMMM SPOILERS PLEASE I DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW AERIS DIED AT THE END OF DISC 1.

How about the game is 16 years old and you have to live with the fact you're joining in at a late date?

SPOILERS PLEASE I DIDN'T KNOW GARLAND WAS ACTUALLY CHAOS AT THE END OF FINAL FANTASY 1.

26 YEAR OLD GAME ACCOMMODATE MY NEEDS.

The game is older than I am and I beat it. Get with the program, pleb.

I keep writing posts and then deleting them because I'm afraid they're too dreary and negative. (It's been a hell of a week.)

Har worrying about being negative

Imagine if I never posted a negative entry?

I'd have one entry.

That time I was sarcastically pleasant the entire time.

So, you're watching Vikings, right?

Not even if you paid me.

If not, here is the main reason you should:

Picture of a really bitchy looking white wahm.

I can think of no reason I'd rather watch a show.

This is Lagertha. She knows her way around sword and shield — and the loom, too.

I do not advise messing with this woman. Even if you are her husband. (Perhaps especially if you are her husband, if the sagas are anything to go by.) She will cut you.

In conclusion: TEAM LAGERTHA.

In conclusion what the fuck are you talking about?

Never mind.

Apparently it's a show on the History channel which further proves the History channel isn't about history at all anymore.

History?

No we can fulfill female power fantasies and feminism!

Fucking goddamn it.

You know how most women are supposedly wearing the wrong bra size?

Yes, I was. You probably are, too. Odds are, most of you are wearing bras that are too big in the band and too small in the cup.

Amerifats.

Don't let those Victoria's Secret salespeople try to fit you. VS still uses the discredited add-inches rule [ETA: plus they measure for your underbust over your bust! The hell?] that will leave you swimming in a too-large band (with a too-small cup size). Some of their bras are decent if you fit into their not-terribly-extensive size range, but do not let them tell you what size you need.

The sizes VS has had me in for many, many years: 36C or 38B (sister sizes in that they have the same cup volume), depending on the bra style.

The size I truly am, according to both the bra bloggers and the real bra fitter at Nordstrom: 34DD (US sizing, also sometimes called 34E, which is confusingly a cup size smaller than a UK 34E, which would be the equivalent of a US 34F!) 

Did you know the bra was invented by a man?

Inexplicably?

You can tell because you need a doctorate in mathematics to figure out how the measurement system works.

If a woman invented it the sizes would be based around making everyone feel good about themselves.

You know what I think would be a very popular Olympic event among my fellow Americans?

Bob Costas in a dunk tank.

A dunk tank FULL OF HUNGRY SHARKS.

Finally someone who understands my hatred of Bob Costas.

And from an unlikely source.

This is from a woman who scrapped several posts because they were "too negative".

All the proof I need for Robert Costas being a tool factory.

So sad that Mad Men has reached 1966, due to fashion taking a turn for the hellaciously ugly in the mid-1960s and staying fug pretty much ever since.* That takes away a significant amount of the show's appeal, to be honest.

I just want pretty things! Is that so wrong?








*I'm old enough to retain some memories of the 1970s. The horror. THE HORROR.

So what'd we learn from this post?

One: apparently the only reason she watches TV shows is because of fashion (other posts hinted at this but this confirms it).

Two: she's way, way too old to be acting like this.

You have memories from the 70s?

I don't even have memories of the first part of the 90s and I'm more mature than this.

When the going gets tough, the tough read fanfic.

For four hours.

Instead of editing, writing, or tackling the kilometer-long to-do list.

So stressed out by November that I've broken through to the other side and just don't care anymore.

I plan to enjoy this while it lasts.

Independent white woman here

When I read or write fiction, I always "see" the action in a vivid cinematic fashion, like a movie in my head; I thought everyone did that, but I have been informed that this is not the case. Huh. So am I the weird one, or the people who don't have movies in their heads when they read/write?

Doesn't matter what plebeians think or don't think.

Anyway, for me, one of the most fun parts of prepping for NaNoWriMo or any fiction writing is the casting of actors as the characters. It must be frustrating for published writers who use this method to have completely wrong actors cast in film/TV adaptations of their work. (Please oh please let me have a chance to find out someday for myself.)

God is this really how people write?

No wonder fiction sucks.

IS IT NOVEMBER YET? I WANT TO GET MY SPACE OPERA ON.






*Just so you know, Indira Varma and Thomas Kretschmann would have attractive offspring. Also crazy smart, although the genetic engineering had something to do with that — both the crazy and the smart. And what do you think you'd get from Claudia Black and Damian Lewis? Luckily for them, they had access to more advanced genetic engineering, so their offspring mostly escaped the crazy, although I suspect their daughter will take little comfort in that when a certain semimad scientist starts driving her around the bend.

Oh attractive geniuses?

With no flaws due to genetic engineering?

They sound really interesting what with their no flaws to overcome or compensate for.

I'm sure it'll do well with the target demographic because if I've learned anything from the fanfiction crowd it's that any adversity or struggle doesn't go over well.

At least not as well as annoying noises, emotes and homoerotica. 

TOR: My husband is beta testing The Old Republic. I'm not an MMO person (I'll play TOR because it's Star Wars, not because I play well with others), but he is, and he's impressed by what he's played so far. What I can say is that it's gorgeous and the voice acting is top-notch, well worth the necessity of defiling my own MacBook Pro with Windows when the time comes.

Haha oh wow

So much shit wrong with that statement I'm not even going to dwell on it.

Fuck blogs.