DRAMA! ANGST!

LIVEJOURNAL!
I knew I was in for easy pickings when the writer's block went as such:

What's your most debilitating insecurity? Do you think you'll ever overcome it?

My most debilitating insecurity is that I am far, far too awesome to deal with a quarter of the people I do.
There is clearly an awesome limit and I have crossed it. It's like the limit break quests in FFXI. I had to gather a ton of dumb bullshit to level awesome this high.
Anyway here we have some melodramatic high school girl who's on about something.

My biggest insecurity.. My self esteem sucks. Horribly. I'd like to overcome the idea that im "worthless" and "ugly".

YOU ARE ALL WORTHLESS AND WEAK.

I don't know if I can ever TRULY overcome it though. Maybe mask it, but not cure it.

You're not good enough to conquer insecurity.
I'd make a great therapist.

Study hall. Oh joy, study hall. Consisting mostly of just a teacher, and I, it's tense as hell without my ear buds shoved into my ears. It's quiet, all except for my tunes and keyboard click clack.

It's intense sitting here wanting to shop at Hot Topic all day.

Yeah, man. It's better than actually LEARNING though, so thats a plus. And, I get to sit here, on my ass for 50 minutes doing nothing but texting, typing, and bobbing my head back and forth to this and that.

>bobbing my head back and forth
HEH I'LL SAY.
Also this sounds like any other class at the school I teach at but whatever.
Learning is hard, being stupid is easy-- natural decision.

This is the source of obesity. I failed gym though, so there's nothing I can do about that.

How the fuck do you fail gym? I didn't even show up half the time and still passed.

These keyboards are practically prehistoric. This whole computer is prehistoric. There is dust all over the place, and this computer lags like a bitch. Fuck it.

I have a computer made in 1993 and it doesn't lag. I understand if you take care of things they'll work better.
It does BSOD constantly but Windows 95, what can you do?
I had totally forgotten this but when Windows 95 doesn't find an error in its index of like 2 errors it just BSODs. 95% of the time you can just press enter and it goes away.
Recovering from a BSOD just like that.
TRULY THIS IS THE FUTURE.
Also the "DOS support" is really bad on Windows 95.
It doesn't work a solid 50% of the time and if I have to do something tricky like configure Soundblaster the sound chip sounds like it's shitting itself.
God I love 90s technology.

Today, so far, has been normal. I suppose. Same douche bags being douche bags, same bitches being bitches, same academic shit, same desks, same everything. The only difference is the tension and anxiety about finals coming up. I know I'm stressing. If I don't get good grades, I get banned from seeing Tyler. So, yeah. I NEED good grades. Need them.

Banned from seeing Tyler?
NO!
Don't your parents understand you're like what's that bitches name from Twilight and Edward?
DON'T THEY UNDERSTAND YOUR ETERNAL, UNDYING LOVE?
Goddamn fuck being a teenager.

One more period to go. And then, I get to go home. And study. And call Tyler. And watch the Season Premiere of Being Human. But, first I have to get past the whole bus ride situation.

The bus is the picture of filth. Honestly. And, some of the people who ride it, aren't so different. I sit in the back, obviously. Hell knows what I'd do to the poor 6th and 7th graders who sat in the front. Probably traumatize them with my perverted wisdom?

>High school kid
>wise
HA!
Truly those who consider themselves wise are not.

I don't know. Back to my point? The assholes sit in the back. The guys who think they're too cool to be in school.

Ha, yeah. All guys who sat in the back are assholes.
Especially that one kid who sat in the fire exit seat because then he wouldn't have to sit next to anyone.
Hmm, suddenly reminded that I sat there.
Well, anyway.

Which is total bull, I know. We all know.

Weren't you just saying you hated school and how learning was dumb and pointless?
Aren't you kind of being too cool for school when you do shit like that?

So, I deal with them. And their ass-holery. Which is hard. Harder than RJ Bergers dick. But, I deal.

And other references I understand.

School is just over rated. The bus is over rated. Study Hall is over rated.

Sorry, You've heard this all before.

*Sigh* Typical teenage rants. How unoriginal.

EVERYTHING IS OVERRATED, MAN. SHUT UP. I'M A HIGH FUNCTIONING AUTISTIC.

It's 6th period. Study Hall. I'm in a back room located somewhere in my school, with TWO other people. Aren't there supposed to be more people in Study Halls? There is some junior chick, the teacher, and me. It's so awkward and quiet. Thank god I have my head phones right? Without them, I'm sure I'd die from the tension.

90% of all comedy is borne of awkward silences I think.

Only sound I hear is Jawbreaker's song Million and the click clack of the keyboard. These keyboards suck. Along with the actual computer, it's practically prehestoric.

Didn't I already read this?
I don't need to work so hard on these updates. Just copy and paste old ones and update the musical references and I'm good to go.
Speaking of musical references: I made the horrific mistake a week ago of clicking on some Korean words on Youtube. It lead to a song that has BEEN STUCK IN MY HEAD EVER SINCE.
But since I don't understand any of the words it just kind of comes out WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS whenever I start humming it to myself.
Fucking hell.
Oh well I guess that's my mistake for clicking anything Korean on Youtube and assuming it'll lead to anything but PAIN.
Maybe it's like The Ring and I just have to pass it on to someone else.
I'll be sure to ambush one of my friends on MSN with it tonight.

Oh well. My day has gone by very... fast? I can't necessarily say that because It went at a medium sort of pace.

All days bleed into one
BLEED LIKE THE BLACK OIL FROM MY WRISTS
I guess this isn't that emo as it is melodramatic and dumb.

Bre has been my closest chick friend since 6th grade. She's in nearly all of my classes, and she has the ability to make even the most boring science assignment interesting. But, today she was gone. She didn't answer back my texts so I suspect she's in Illinois. Her cousin is dying. He was an alchoholic and his system is now shutting down. He's neutral, but they are guessing he is going to pass soon. I wish the whole family luck. Get better soon, Andy!

>get better
>he's dying
Not the right thing to say, I think.

I just cannot wait until tomorrow. It's thursday today but It feels like a friday, so I acted like it was. I did practically NO work today. None. My mind wasn't focused on school work whatsoever today. I was thinking about Tyler, Bre, the bus ride home, my music, my bladder, my cell phone, Study Hall.. just all this random shit that isn't even slightly close to being academic.

You know I have to give her some credit. Her grammar is orders better than the average idiot.

I still have approximately 30 minutes left until class is over. Shit. How much more bored could I be?! Damn. I'd surf the web, but certain sites are blocked due to "Mature Content" so I don't even try anymore.

Ha, ha the school filter stops you from browsing the internet.
GIRLS AND TECHNOLOGY, AM I RIGHT?
I remember when I was in school we just used a proxy. Nothing fancy.

I was born on May 8th, 1996.

I remember 1996.
So let's see, that makes you 14.
Yeah, gotta give it to you. Your grammar is orders better than any of the idiots I teach and they're your age.

Maybe people just don't like me because they're afraid?

Yeah, afraid of your scrawny ass.

Haha. Bull. That's what my shrinks have been telling me from day one. "Oh, honey. They're just jealous of you." Aww. How sweet. My parents are paying you to sugar coat my life? I don't think so.

You know what'd make this a lot more interesting? If it read like that scene from The Inquisition War.

I didn't realize it until about 2 months ago but.. Shit. There are so many people in my school who I just want to smoosh knowledge and understanding into their brain with a 3 inch thick paddle.

Yeah, see? Instead of that dumb shit it could read like this:

"WE ARE CURIOUS," came a mighty anguished thought which itself transcended time. "WE HAVE FOLLOWED YOUR INTRUSION INTO OUR SANCTUARY, OUR ANTRUM AND ADYTUM.

"My lord." Jaq sank to his knees. "I beg to report to you before I am destroyed. I may have uncovered a major conspiracy-"

"THEN WE WILL STRIP YOUR SOUL BARE. RELAX, MORTAL MAN, OR YOU WILL SURELY DIE IN SUCH PAIN AS WE ALWAYS ENDURE."

"WE HAVE PUT BACK WHAT WE TOOK AND TASTED, INQUISITOR"

"WE ARE MANY, INQUISITOR"

"HOW ELSE COULD WE ADMINISTER OUR IMPERIUM-"

"AS WELL AS WINNOW THE WARP-"

"HOW ELSE?"

That'd be amazing. Oh well, probably best it doesn't read like that because then I'd have this update about this AWESOME BLOG I JUST FOUND.

One kid hates me because I'm bisexual. One hates me because according to him, I'm "emo". One hates me because I'm friends with a certain person.

Yeah but see, instead of that it'd read like this:

"WE ARE AN EVER WATCHFUL LORD, ARE WE NOT? DID YOU HOPE TO GAIN OUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION?"

"HOW ELSE SHOULD WE SOUL-BIND PSYKERS AND OVERVIEW THE WARP AND BEAM THE ASTRONOMICAN BEACON AND SURVIVE AND RECEIVE INFORMATION AND GRANT AUDIENCES ALL AT ONCE, UNLESS WE ARE MANY?"

"AND YET STILL WE MISS SO MUCH, SO VERY MUCH? SUCH AS THAT WHICH GUIDED YOU HERE"

The Emperor of Mankind is so hardcore he talks in all caps. Also he refers to himself as "we" because he's literally multiple people in the same body. That must get really awkward.

Shit. Get to know me. I imagine you'd like me if you sat down, put all my difficulties aside and just TALKED to me.

Yeah, except-- no.

I'd appreciate it. But, instead they ridicule me because I'm not the average straight, perky, boring, *perfect* bitch. I'm not saying that anybody who is straight, and perky are bitches, necessarily. Just, most of the straight and perky girls I know are bitches. No stereotyping. I swear to jeebus.

I've made several key decisions about your character I feel you can agree with:
A. You are 14.

B. You are decidedly not a delicious brown or yellow girl

C. You are a melodramatic attention whore

Therefore I have decided I never want to hear from you. Fortunately for you one of these things will cure itself, one will never ever be cured and one might be if you worked at it, which you won't.
GRIM FUTURE. Also I like how you cry "stereotyping" but when you do it it's somehow the truth. That's a neat trick I'll have to try sometime.

People generally take one look at me and judge me on the way I look. They look at my big nose (which I'm not ashamed of), my eyeliner, my skinnies, my nikes, my mis-matching earrings and they JUDGE me.

Judge you the same way I have rendered judgment across hundreds of blogs. Hundreds of blogs, millions of words, and yet all the same.

That's all people do these days. Not all people, no. But, most people in my school think judging is a hobby.

It is a fun hobby, yes. Seriously, age a couple years and somehow transform into a DBG and we can talk shop. Until then, keep your crazy shit to yourself.

This isn't happening

Sometimes I come across an entry so incredibly douchey I like to imagine it's some kind of "ironic joke" that I just don't get so I can get some kind of distance on it, but there's always the sneaking truth that whoever posted this is dead fucking serious and I have what I can only describe as a "holy fuck what am I doing?" moment. It's sort of like Pandora's box. I know what's in it, so why the fuck am I opening it?

Me (posts a video of Gackt naked in Takano Yuri CM) : you've seen that right?
My Friend: *_*.....................................

........
Me: No?
after a while
Me: where are you disappearing always?
after a couple of minutes
My Friend : *breaths *my bro caught me watching that and went out screaming I'm watching chinese porno!!! I had to catch him!!!!!
Me (totally cracks up): xDDDDDDDDDDDDD OMG I think I'll die laughing now xDDDDDDD
chinesss porno xDDDDDDD

Oh boy.
Here's a picture of some lady dressed up like a man I think, and she's off to draw "T_T" now. Eat a dick, goddamn.
Now there's like 10,000 posts about Gackt, one of which contains an avatar with the words "samurai spirit" below it. Let's think about this for a moment, shall we?

Pretty much what I think of when the word "samurai" comes up.
Here's Gackt:Maybe I don't know what a samurai is (highly unlikely upon introspection. Level 42 samurai in FFXI. I think I know, okay), but Gackt doesn't exactly strike me as the type. Something about the makeup and the girlish figure and him being undoubtedly adverse to sword fights at dawn.
Now here's a poem entitled "Sweet Dreams". I immediately turned on the Eurythmics because, uhhh, but let's see how this goes:

So beautiful
I've never seen that place
When the trip is over
I want to go with you

I go on ahead to the next city, until, before I know it, you're far away.
Continually filling the hole in my heart with violent noise, I fell asleep

Hmmm the lyrics are suddenly reminding me of that song "Back to Paradise" from Gundam 0083 in that, like everything from that show, it was awesome and this sucks, so-- wait.

You know, many days like this have come and gone; even though we are apart, I'm still feeling it.
Whenever I am alone, in my thoughts I talk to you...

I wonder if you've already gone to sleep?

Holy shit why did I pick this blog? I should have checked more carefully. It's just image upon image now.
Which is great, I might add. I sure can look at Gackt forever and think "wow what a super faggot".

that practice will end me.... I don't want the new week to start...*sobs* T_T

geez... Gackt is taking over my fanatism world! I totally forgot my other favorites! Totally abandoned Nishikido and Alex Band.... Sorry guys! The weird thing is that I used to like only female artists, now it's opposite o_O well if we won't include Zhang Ziyi....

What?
Being an expert in all things kung fu I actually know who Ziyi Zhang is but I'm assuming the other people are singers and she's an actress, so I don't really know what's going on, here. Which would be par for the course, honestly, but I don't really--

Do we Dears have to do the same as that psycho Miley Cyrus fan and threat to make a meal from our cats to make that man sleep more?!

I guess my main problem with this blog is I can pretty much just point to any given entry and just say "LOOK AT THIS SHIT."

Um... I have a weird love for criminal stories....... I wanna share one with you....... Involving cannibalism....I'm really dumb for writting this here while I'm all alone in the "flat"..but i'll do it...

So....um Yeah.. Let me introduce you a man named Issei Sagawa......

All right let me spare your period key, honey, and spoil the story: he ate some Australian hostesses.
Yes I, too, watch the True Crime channel.

Anyone has a HQ full lenght picture of Gackt's Diabolos "Lust fro blood" coat? I need it badly! T_T

WORDS. I hear tell of something called a "spelling and grammar checker" but I don't know, I think it's a dark and forbidden magic.
Also I like how she accuses everyone of ripping off this Gackt dude when I seem to recall a guy named, what was it? Alice Cooper or something? Doing similar shit in the 70s. Just saying.
He had the added bonus of releasing good songs as well, so something to think about.
Now she claims to be a fan of Britney Spears and I officially want to apologize for making fun of your music taste. It's really brave of you to be a music fan and deaf at the same time.
Okay this Gackt thing has to stop, seriously. This is getting ridiculous. I understand you're a fan, but it's time to post about something unrelated. Perhaps, and this is probably asking for too much, something unrelated to Japan?
Nope, no end in sight-- time to do something else.

Just waiting for a party

Man getting a party is hard on thief. Probably because thief looks awesome on paper but in actuality is a little bit shit.
2x centurion's sword though I'm excited to test this out. I'm ballin'.
Of course I couldn't afford that new 2+ acc cloak, so I guess I'm a baller on a budget.
Oh yeah some shit.
But seriously 200k for 2 accuracy is pretty fucking ridiculous. 2 attack for 10k is fine, thanks.
And yeah I know people spend like 1.5mil for 2 accuracy later on but this isn't exactly a job I plan on maining, all right.

At the last count, I have paid something like £3500 in overdraft charges to my bank in the last 5 years. These charges continued when I was unemployed and my only income was £60 a week in job seekers allowance.

Oh hey how about that? Banks don't like it when you spend money you don't have.
Let me put this into a context you'll understand. Imagine a place where everyone has 50 cents (or 50p, whatever get real money) and people put their 50p in the same piggy bank. Now you've spent 1 pound 25, and suddenly GUESS WHOSE MONEY YOU'RE TAKING?

If I see one more fucking advert for that "one flat stomach rule" or "one simple rule" for losing weight, I am going to have to design a plan for hunting down the clown responsible and showing him one simple trick for losing weight that involves cutting his fucking balls off.

Wow. Easy. I mean I admit I'm tired of the SECRET TO WHITER TEETH FOR FIVE DOLLARS that's probably "use baking soda" but whatever, I just don't look at it. Also Firefox Adblocker. Look into it.

The woman on the left is probably a UK size 12, maybe a 14 at most. If she wasn't slouching and grabbing at her lovehandles, she would have a nice figure.

Yeah grabbing that fistful of fat equates to a nice figure in my head. I mean she's by no means a cow, but let's not delude ourselves.

The woman on the right is heavily airbrushed and probably underweight (and quite possibly jailbait). It's no wonder that perfectly healthy women are stressing about their weight with images like this all over the Internet.

What kind of bullshit is that? THE GIRL ON THE RIGHT IS NUBILE AND UNDERAGE SO IT'S NOT REALISTIC. Wow, you're right. The internet is so unrealistic. Which is probably why I don't get my dieting brotips from POP UP ADS.

It's bad enough these ads try to exploit people by promising them some magic cure, but even worse is the fact that they're targeting people who have no need to feel bad about their bodies. Fucking disgusting.

If you're a currently living human you probably have a reason to feel bad.

She seemed perfectly lovely, of course, apart from stealing half my fags.

For someone who seems to subscribe to the philosophy expounded by my Philosophy of Education class (wherein we treat the form of something and not its function) you sure are busting out some homopho-- oh right, British. Goddamn you people.

This world is full of racists and misogynists and these people shout louder than everyone else and have no morals to speak of, so they generally end up causing a hell of a lot more damage.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

The truth is, the importance of treating people equally is something that some of us have always known is right, from a very early age.

Oh but what if people don't come from equal backgrounds? Wouldn't treating them equally still not be equal enough, in that case? Shouldn't we be treating people with equity? (yeah I've been through some shit this semester)

I knew racism was wrong the first time I saw an Asian girl at my school in tears after being called "paki." Nobody had to tell me that something very unfair was happening, I just knew.

Yeah if you were a real bro (you're not but whatevs let's roll) you'd break the people making fun of hers' faces in and then pick up the chick for being totally cool.
At least that's how these scenarios play out in my mind.
Of course I recently learned that reaction is the problem with our hyper-masculine society so I don't even know what to do. I'm trying to be multicultural by picking up Asian girls and now you're telling me I can't even bust a few noses on my way there? Sure are leaving me with few options, class.
I'm totally built enough to fight someone else, too. Trust me.

I couldn't give a fuck about being perceived as "polite" or "inoffensive," but political correctness never killed anyone. Political correctness never got anyone beaten up. Political correctness never kicked or stabbed someone to death.

Exactly my fucking point. These cavemen won't appreciate your sophisticated concepts of social contract and equality when they're too busy wracking their stupid cavemen brains for something witty to say, so your only option is to go in like you mean fucking business.

As for the misogynists... a few days ago I read an online rant by a sixteen year old who was speaking very much as a typical sixteen year old would.

Oh hey, a sixteen year old says something stupid. I don't believe it.

I wrote a blog, something happened on my laptop, I lost it and couldn't get it back. So there you go.

There I go? What? Go where? What does that have to do with fucking anything?

3. Pro-lifers, homophobes and other religious types who insist on inflicting their beliefs on others.

Yeah the other side never does that. Both sides are pig disgusting.

9. People whining over the smoking ban. Get over it.

Yeah enjoy your police state, England.
Now she's writing a review of Snakes on a Plane and I've apparently moved back 3 years' worth of posts.
Awesome.
So here's how I'd summarize this LS: I AM ANGRY ABOUT THINGS THAT HAPPENED ON THE INTERNET/A LONG TIME AGO!
So I guess that's it. Still no invite on thief, switching to samurai~

Free Porn- Click Here!

I was told that if I wanted more readers I'd have to have more enticing titles to my entries, and what, pray tell, could be more enticing than FREE, FREE, FREE porn?
Maybe next entry should be FREE PENIS ENHANCING PILLS or something, idk.
So here we have a blog that's the antithesis of porn. In fact, it's probably the singular most convincing argument to stay celibate and a cloistered monk forever.
I kid, really, because I could easily say that about any blog I've ever read ever including this one.

I don't think I mentioned this but about two, maybe three weeks ago our ceiling in the kitchen started leaking.

Yeah and the FFXI party I was just in was beyond shit. We all have our own problems. If that doesn't seem like a fair comparison then you really don't know how shitty this party was, okay.
So to keep a really long story about a leaky roof short (it was really interesting so I'm doing an extreme disservice to you, dear readers possibly in search of free pornography in which case I just seriously misled you):

"No," he said. "The dripping." "F***. Did you call Dad?" He had and left a message.

F***. Whew, close one there, jean_yus. Whenever I see the word "fuck" written out in its entirety I immediately launch my monitor through the window and OH SHIT THERE IT GOES~

I have also misplaced my glasses and if you know where they are please tell me. I can't go into surgery (if I have a section) with my contacts in, and I can't see ANYTHING without some sort of optical aid.

They're in the black hole cavern (don't think too much about that) you call a twat. OH SHIT, ICED.
Also my transformation into a Cheetos-breathing cave troll with a cloud of stink and flies around me is officially complete because I can't think of the word "optical" without immediately thinking of the Optical Hat from FFXI, one of the best (?) headgear in the game.

Without fail, anytime I leave work for the day, if my boss sees me before I leave, she thanks me.

You know in all of my classes save poetry (where I just have a look of supreme disinterest) I get an audible "there he is!" from my peers. That's right, the party doesn't start without me.

That if ever you are in charge of other people, in any capacity, the simplicity of thanking them at the end of their tasks is incredibly gratifying. It has made me more loyal to my boss, my job, and given me pride in the work (which, of course, I can't tell you about) that I do.

"hey thanks for doing that thing I pay you to do." No, my "thanks" is in your paycheck, dearie.

I talked to the midwives about them a bit yesterday and she just said, "Well, it's good to know your body is preparing itself." Uh huh. It's great. I'm ecstatic. My cup runneth over.

Oh hey how about that? Pregnancy hurts and shit. Maybe you shouldn't get yourself knocked up so many times if you don't like all of that, what's it, hours and hours of painful labor that goes along with it.
Also being a midwife must be one of the most thankless jobs imaginable, holy Christ. You could not pay me enough to do that shit, mostly due to my intense dislike of my fellow man.

I had today off. I had a glorious nap while Kate had her nap. I haven't had a nap in like six weeks and I forgot how positively wonderful they are.

I haven't napped in 22 years. Feels good, man.

Well, if you were looking forward to scrambled eggs made by me for breakfast this morning, Im afraid you'll be disappointed. I walked into the cupboards with the bowl and spilled the entire lot of it on the not as clean as it ought to be Kitchen floor. Instead you will be treated to toasted english muffins with blueberry jam, straight from Alaska, made by Sis, a little tart for some but we seem to like and you should too.

Wow that's really awkward. Also you're right: I was looking forward to breakfast at your house over a month ago, somehow.

The husband is out playing video games with a buddy/boyfriend who's birthday is tomorrow.

Ha, ha burn. You just called your husband gay. I see what you did there.

Have you noticed that every time you start something, especially if it has to do with your health, if you mention it to people all of a sudden there are horror stories everywhere?

No. I keep stories about my health to myself unless it's something really awesome, like the time I stepped on a nail and it went all the way through my foot.
It didn't really, but that somehow sounds more painful. It did go all the way in, though, so this isn't some superficial pansy scratch. This was piercing damage, bros.

We're pregnant!

Goddamn I hate it when people say this. No, unless you're the queen, "we" aren't pregnant, *you* are pregnant.

Procreation may have very well ended at Eve if we all lived like that.

>implying Eve existed
Did you know if the tale of Eve is correct (it's not but let's just assume for a moment) every sexual relationship is, by definition, incest?
It's a good thing the Bible condones (or is at least ambivalent about) incest.

I am declaring here that I am officially opposed to days of work that make me contemplate deeper theologies, the decline of society, and other such things two hours after quitting time.

I never even contemplate these things when it's officially homework I have to do for a grade in class. I just write shit down then get a paper back 2 weeks later with "A++ would read again" written on it and can't remember writing it.

Uhm, learning Kristine's friend's nephew's name made me less hesitant to post the names we've picked.

Girl: Lauren
Boy: Bowie

Yeah, no middle names again. Deal with it.

Giving you a 5/10 on this assignment. While Lauren is a fine name, Bowie (as in David Bowie, musician) isn't. It's a last name. Cut that shit out.

See, I had a migraine Friday night. At 8:15 I took a Tylenol #3. I got a little loopy, as usual, but the pain wasn't so much gone.

>Tylenol 3
>has codeine
>pregnant
hmmm.

Had my first midwife appointment today. They took gallons of blood, my blood pressure and my history. We tried to listen for the heart but alas, it doesn't have one. Or it's too little to hear. Whichever makes you feel better.

"No heart beat" makes me feel better, thanks.

So when my baby sitter handed me Twilight I took it and thought, "Hopefully I'll get to it in an acceptable time." I took it because it's a book and I'm a book hound. If you hand it to me and say it's good I'll at least give it a crack and see how it goes.

Anyway, I did open it and have been reading it. I'm probably 300 pages or so in. It's a light read. It's not taking much brain power. It's engaging enough, pulls me along and I'm totally happy to let Blair play his video games while I read. I think it's well written enough.

Hey thanks. It is my best seller, don't you know.
Well I think my work here is done. I'm going to leave you with my final thoughts on my FFXI party today:
It's a complex emotion.

:V

Oh boy, today.
I didn't think you could enjoy Guyver and Persona 3 and still turn out a cunt, but surprise, surprise.
This blog along with the entire career of Carlos Santana has me near a breakthrough with how douchebaggery works. See, Santana has this uncanny power to turn any douche (c.f. that song he did with Michelle Branch and also that song with the lead singer of Nickelback [more like Nickelgay]) into something halfway presentable, but this blog appears to have the inverse power.
I am intrigued by the potential, here.
So this girl-- apparently married another girl.
Holy mother of God this is a man.
What do?
Okay, let's play this cool.

I DARE any of you to have a wedding as awesome as mine was. If you missed it, you'll just have to go to your grave knowing that you missed the PERFECT wedding, and you'll never see its like. If you were there, you may thank me in the comments.

Perhaps you can see why, in this quote, I thought it was a girl. Seriously, wedding shit? Really, bro?

Actually, I should thank you. Thanks to everyone who could make it and to everyone who wasn't. You're a part of this crazy love story between two kids who first talked to each other in a Final Fantasy 7 RP chat room.

I wish I had the linguistic skill to type the noise I just made and have it make sense. Unfortunately I do not, so imagine a noise halfway between a groan and a chuckle.

We first met in person at Otakon. I was cosplaying Wolfwood from Trigun.

Heh, heh, heh.
Oh my, no.
Now he's talking about the books he read this year (a whopping two, congrats bro) one of which is Starship Troopers, one of the classics and the grandfather of giant robot fiction. Even if you disagree with the author's admittedly Republican view of war (implying war is good, what), it's hard to deny the contributions he made to one of the greatest triumphs of human imagination (giant robots).
There was a shitty movie made in the early 2000s that I can only summarize by saying "it's basically homogenized pap for fat Americans" but our boy has this to say:

In a lot of ways, the movie is better than the book. If you just want a story with only a hint of dystopia, you can watch the movie and not have to deal with the crap from the book. If sociology is more your thing, and you want a lecture on the cost-benefits of an entire society based around its all volunteer army, then the book is for you.

What. I think the whole "wow this is kind of a downer" was the point of the book, way to miss it.
IF YOU WANT TO DISPENSE WITH ALL THAT PESKY THINKING, THE MOVIE IS THE WAY TO GO. Tool.

The book is thought provoking (even if you're like me and didn't agree with it at all) but gets pretty boring in parts.

Way to just barely step around the pitfall of "I DON'T GET IT, NO STARS" only to fall flat into "I DISAGREE WITH THE PHILOSOPHY OF THE BOOK, NO STARS".

2) you roleplay, and sometimes your characters seem to wind up really deep and elaborate. do you always get a chance to play all that out in-game, or is it more just a secret history between you and your character?
It honestly depends on the character. For my Final Fantasy XI character, most of it actually has been role played.

>Roleplaying
>FFXI
Holy mother of fuck you're that dickbag that takes five minutes to pull a crab because you have to roleplay your motivation, don'tcha?
I have only had the intense misfortune of playing with your ilk twice, and needless to say it gives me pause for thought before any invitation I accept.

His depth came from many, many hours of actual in-game role play. Reinbach started out as kind of a vague concept and grew into a character with his own psychology and realistic motivations through role play.

Uh-huh. Here's my character's motivation: "I better not suck or my subscription will be cancelled."

He has taken a few tweaks here and there that took place internally, but for the most part, Reinbach kind of grew up in real time.

Cool story.
Oh, hey, your character's name is Reinbach. SHOW ME YOUR KUNG FU.
You are on the Lakshmi server so I've never personally had the dubious honor of being in a party with you, but based off your FFXIAH profile you are a level 70 corsair/ 31 red mage--
wait, 70/31? LEVEL YOUR SUBJOB, GIMP.
Complex character motivations indeed. Apparently not deep enough to keep your subjob properly leveled. (brotip: your level should read to me like this: 70 COR/35 RDM)

3) pokemon trading at the wedding. yes or no?

I didn't know ten year olds got married in civilized nations.

Mein Komputer ist tot.

Ich finde deine Blog sehr Möse.
I don't know if that's right because I haven't had German in like five or six years.

The other one is called (Stephen King fans are going to love this) Graff. It's a malted, slightly hopped apple cider.

:V
What
oh I get it. Yeah, all right, you. Graff was the devil from the ten billion+ page waste of time entitled The Stand.

Kat and I are putting figures of Gendo Ikari and Rei Ayanami on our wedding cake
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 9

Is this awesome y/n?

I don't know, putting anime figures on your wedding cake? I'm going to have to go with a resounding "what the fuck" but whatever, not my fucking wedding. Personally I'd try to convince the bitch it's better to put all that money towards a house or something but that's just me.

Dear Internet,

I just got my car broken into.

Please post amusing pictures to cheer me up.

Sincerely,
Me

Dear Dickbutt,

No.

Love,

Tim.

Well I think the time is nigh to do something else. It has indeed been real, dickbutt. Might I suggest blogging less and leveling your subjob more? I'm sure the miserable sons of bitches in your parties would appreciate it.

Super Barf IV

Not too much to brag about this time around. Finally got my Warlock's Gloves in FFXI, which I probably should have had 20+ levels ago on RDM but whatever +1o parrying and +4 dexterity weren't exactly high on my "list of items to acquire". Still, feels good having the complete set. Besides, it's always a plus to have a character that looks like a red version of the Three Musketeers. As Char from Gundam said, "only an ace would go to battle in that color."
Speaking of just took about a 3 hour break to get all the Halloween event items. Treat Staff II awww yeah.
Uhh... Oh yeah.

I just talked to my father on the phone for over 17 minutes. That has got to be a new record.
Unfortunately, it was mostly about complications in dealing with my grandfather's estate. My poor Pop is having to deal with a ton of crap, in addition to his already-stressful job. He's the executor of my grandfather's will, so apparently there is a lot of stuff only he can do.

Yeah, hence "executor". If it was shit anyone could do it wouldn't be called that.

I stayed up until 3am last night. I woke up a couple times, but the final time was at 9am this morning, to get to my 10am doctor's appointment.

So what? I did that shit just yesterday and indeed do it two times a week. Big fucking deal.

The waiting room filled with pregnant teenaged mothers and their small children. And the TV playing cartoons. I mentioned this was a planned parenthood, right? And the icy receptionist behind the inch-thick glass wall, who give me all the forms back on which I only checked "yes" to the things that applied to me, and left everything else blank instead of checking "no" for each ailment I've never had, which was most of them. Grrrr. I had to check each "no" and hand the forms back in.

Oh no checking all the items off on a form is really fucking difficult and frustrating. I WAS INCONVENIENCED FOR, LIKE, FIFTEEN SECONDS I BETTER BLOG ABOUT THIS! Goddamn.

And wait. And wait. The visit was not off to a good start. Thank good I had brought my knitting with me, or I would have gotten seriously pissy, rather than just irritated.

Yes, praise be to good.

I got lucky and really like the therapist I got paired with. I was a little nervous about him at first. An Asian man with a mustache would probably not be my first pick, but it turned out fine.

Toshiro Mifune?
Oh, what, it's not like many Asians can grow facial hair, so I figured my choices were pretty much limited.

He said some sort of touchy-feely, new agey things, but he did so in such a way that my inner cynic was not put off by it.

YOUR KUNG FU IS WEAK.
Okay here's a health report. This is good, I have been wanting to read this.
Wow, no, not reading this.
Here's another.

That was a tiny huzzah, to celebrate the fact that I feel pretty good today, and am feeling optimistic about getting better!

Great thanks for fucking my font up.

I do still have a troublesome feeling of fluid in my throat and lungs, that makes me want to cough. I have been trying to resist the urge to cough, because it will most likely make make gag and possibly throw up.

:V

So, just for the sake of record keeping, I hereby report that I just barfed again.

Thanks for the update.

Fuck. What the fuck!? Now I have a fever again. Not a high fever, just 99.1, but enough that I noticed I felt feverish and took my temperature.

98.2 is normal for humans, so this barely, barely fucking counts.

And I am in a big argument with myself, because one seems more valid than the other. If I am sick, then that's a legitimate excuse to be "lazy" and "not do anything." But the doctor I saw today seemed to think I wasn't that sick. But if I am depressed, then I should snap out of it, get my ass in gear and get back to work already...?

Holy fuck.

My mom called and woke me up at around 9 this morning. She suggested that I go to Santa Cruz today to see the family or something. I don't want to go. It's probably very selfish of me, but

Okay multiple choice question time. Does she say:
A. she's sick
B. she's tired
C. she's pregnant
D. she has to go to church and Christfag it up
E. all of the above
Well if you picked E you suck at multiple choice tests because it's almost never all of the above. The correct answer, of course, was A. Or B. I'd take either.

My mom passed on an idea that came from my uncle who is a doctor: I might have whooping cough, or pertussis.

PERTUSSIS WOW WHAT A MEDICAL KNOWLEDGE!
That's like when I was reading the guide to the Halloween event in FFXI today I came across this brilliant line:
" Utilizing different npcs after obtaining an item seems to expedite (speed up) the process of obtaining items."
Thanks. Expediate = speed up. Got it.

There is a whooping cough vaccine, which I received as a baby... I have the records. But it wears off after ten or fifteen years. So most adults are theoretically walking around susceptible to it, but it's been mostly wiped out, so it's not that big a deal.

:3
then it comes back 500 times worse because no one has a natural immunity to it anymore.

While I was writing this, I coughed and then threw up a little bit. I think it's getting worse.

Fantastic (translator's note: fantastic means good)

Just FYI,

Okay I need to be paying attention, because this is an FYI (for your information)

Today (10/9) was the 18th day of me being sick.
I barfed for the first time on 9/30, although I had been coughing to gagging before that.
I have barfed 5 times since then, so about 5 times in ten days.
The vomiting started after I started the antibiotics, but seems to be getting worse, more frequent, and appears to be continuing after the last dose of the antibiotics.

I really need to hear about this.

OMG I just threw up AGAIN. Three times! What the fuck is going on?! I am definitely calling a doctor tomorrow.

YES THANK YOU CAN I PLEASE HEAR YET MORE?

This fucking blows (no pun intended.)

Heh, heh-- oh what?

I haz a scanner!

:|
Now here's a picture of her grandfather, and he looks kind of like a Jewish version of Lee Van Cleef.
Probably the coolest person in her family by virtue of that fact alone, but of course he's dead, so no chance at anything cool from this blog now.

Except for about half and hour ago, I decided to stop just trying to ignore the voices scolding me, and actually deal with them. I asked myself why I wasn't doing anything today.

Voices in your head, huh. I usually call these persistent images and voices in my head "thoughts" but all right I'll roll with it.
Unless you're actually hearing voices that aren't there, which given your previous entries is entirely possible. You do seem nuts.

Good news:

You vomited!

I have nothing to report!

Oh. Darn.

In generally I have been feeling much better physically, although I still feel like there is mucus in my lungs that I periodically have to try to expel, with mixed results that range from nothing happening to vomiting.

FUCK. Spoke too soon.

The bad news... I mean, more bad news: I barfed again today.

All right time to wrap this shit up. It has been real. Real dumb.
I guess if I had to summarize my feelings for this blog in image form it'd probably be this one:All right. Until Monday. Try not to vomit~ :3

I am the sword that cleaves evil

Leveled samurai from 21 to 27 yesterday, so I'm basically a marathon man. Can't say the same for my character, who inexplicably started missing EVERY HIT EVER towards the end. Light weight.
But anyway, enough about totally awesome things that involve stabbing giant crabs with lightning, we have BLOGS TO REVIEW TODAY.
You'll (maybe) notice the blog is entitled "Radical Woman" which is a serious misnomer. About as bad as those Youtube videos that promise nudity, but you know for a fact that shit would get shot down instantaneously so you click on it just to see what kind of HILARIOUS RICK ROLL-ESQUE VIDEO YOU'LL BE RECEIVING TODAY but then you still feel bad because you still fucking clicked on it.
It's exactly like that. I sat here thinking "no way she's any sort of radical" then I felt smug for a minute because my suspicions were indeed confirmed but OH WAIT I'M STILL READING IT.

One of my strengths as a 23 year old is knowing and understanding how I used to be. Although I may not remember the thought process or exactly how I felt about who, when, and why...I do remember the important things and can make sense of it all now.

I guess I was just trying to give that to you as well.

One of her strengths as a very mature 23 year old-- whatever.

well Hawaii was nice, coming home was crazy.
everything hit the fan, good and the bad...the bad was really bad--in all subjects.

I wonder what God is teaching me right now.

Oh fuck I know what I'm in for now.

I cleared my throat in ASL...things like that make me laugh at myself.

It's funny how taking a break makes you need a break when you come home.

What?
Oh I get it. See, ASL is American Sign Language and you wouldn't need to clear your throat because you're not talking-- wow. This is dire.
Now there are some poems I'm not fucking reading because frankly I get enough of this shit during class.
... Oh go on, then. I'll do one :3

When your mind is a mess
So is mine
I cant sleep
Cause it hurts when I think

FUCK YOU FOR MAKING MY FONT GO CRAZY

All the words that we say
And the words that we mean
Words can fall short
Can't see the unseen
Cause the world is awake
For somebody's sake now, please close your eyes woman
Please get some sleep

Wow that's really-- wow.
All right I think that's enough.

Adrian is now married. Mrs. Johnson. Wow.

I think I might take another part time job...something to do with my extra non-wedding-planning time. Also, I'm taking classes in the Fall...
History of Jazz
University Singers
American Sign Language

Wow what a brutal schedule. Music majors are such complainers, too. I HAVE A GUITAR TEST TODAY!
Ohhhh well fuck me! The rooms I have to go to barely have light bulbs while you're sitting in your two new buildings but at least I don't have a fucking guitar test!

I'm really excited about all of the one hundred level courses I'm going to take in the next year. Wheelthrown ceramics will have to wait until next summer.

Just not enough time in the day to take Wheelthrown ceramics (don't even know what that is)
I know people who manage to take 18 credit hours in psychology while working, just saying.
It may seem like I'm being particularly unfair today but I'm majoring in English so I'm basically five up from last in terms of difficulty so this is a rare day for me, okay.

They should make Lisa Frank t-shirts, I bet millions of young adult women would buy them.

Young adult women. What the fuck are you some kind of marketing computer?

I think I'm one of those "just do it" kinda people. (sidenote: I should work for Nike, I know)

I just jump into something whether or not I'm ready and see if it works out. But once I jump I stay committed until "mission complete".

A commendable, space marine quality, I think.

For example, if a tough decision needs to be made, I'm totally there--but when it's something small like what kind of cereal should I buy for the next three weeks of my life..."Honey, what do you feel like?"

I'm pathetic.

Wow. I guess this must be what they call "bad writing". How Games Workshop writers can go on about honor and duty and shit for pages and it's still interesting but I'm already bored of her commitments two sentences in.

Special K with Strawberries, Honeynut Cheerios, or Frosted Flakes?

(walks around and thinks about it for two minutes, debating, then finds Adam and asks him...)

Cheerios if you have any goddamn sense.
Uh-oh logging into FFXI I sense my attention waning.

So I stayed home last night from Truth Project. Truth Project is this awesome study that answers all these tough questions Christians are faced with--well everyone is faced with really. What is truth, who is man, where did earth come from, is evolution consistent, is creation consistent, what is the bible, is it true, philosophy, matter, science, etc. I've been learning a lot...which is good. Learning=good.

>Bible
>science
:3
Also pretty much everything you need to know about life, philosophy, religion, etc. can be summarized in one video under two minutes in length.
Aww yeah just got Utsusemi: ichi
oh wait I'm still supposed to be updating this.
Uhh-- entry over I guess go home :c

Political Blogs

Political blogs are gross. The thing is you might have the greatest idea known to politics but you're just typing it into a journal and acting like you did something about it. If your idea was so scary brilliant you'd probably be ruling over my sorry ass and I'd be calling you emperor, now wouldn't I?
But nope, here I am, and there you are. Our boy today is an affirmed world traveler, as if I gave a shit. His blog is entitled "A search for Eldorado" which hint: it's two words (El Dorado). It means "the golden one" you pleb.
Here our boy waxes philosophical about manners and the glorious English language, while committing several logical fallacies and in poor grammar. Pure class.

On the other hand I am reminded of people from the 'Third world' epically the people born in France who identify as Algerian. They have a way of saying 'your government is an enemy to my people but you and I are friends' were as the English seem to have a way of saying 'you are a periah to the world.' before they even know your name or weather or not you are Canadian.
Easy there, boss.

Pariah*. Also, is this all English? What basis do you have to say "English"?

I will never hate my country and I despise all people who turn their back on the soil that gave them existence.

Turn their back in what way? You left America for France. I don't know if that's "turning your back" but you certainly aren't producing anything for America. If you mean "left and now hate America" then you're really arguing feelings of nostalgia, so either way you're a cunt.

did not make it through teacher training, two law suits to follow.

"I personally failed so I'm suing others." Goddamn what a whiny bitch. Also the reason you failed, if I may, is because you want to teach English but CANNOT SPELL WORTH A FUCK.

The best thing about moving to France is.... ok not the best thing but I can finally speak American again.

Speak "American"? Do you mean English, bro?

Kids are sitting around the campfire to teach them to read. Not being taught to read around a camp site, but sitting around a fire is supposed to modivate them to find out how to read through sheer will power and lust for life.

"Modivate", huh? If this is American I am thoroughly unimpressed.

I have found out that instead of paying me nine grand my university wants me to pay nine grand.

What fucking bizarro Earth do you live on where universities pay you? That's a dumb assumption even by your standards. You are always, always paying.

So here we have a comfortable, white, bourgeois liberal compares their life of comfortable safety to the millions who suffer, many due to the ‘Great Satan’, you can think of the US or Israel, and you want to do something about it.

It's fucking great being white, bourgeois and liberal, isn't it? Sucks about all those starving people but meanwhile in metown I have no inventory space in FFXI. I never understood this line of logic, actually. YOU CAN'T BITCH BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE SUFFERING AND HAVE IT WAY WORSE THAN YOU! Well, yeah, but that doesn't make sorting my inventory any less of a drag.
Also shut up. If everything is so peachy and great here in 1st world living standards land you come sort my inventory and we'll see how you like it.
I guess I don't actually need 20 stacks of earth crystals, though. I guess my original logic was I'll keep them and craft shit out of them, but they're so cheap who gives a shit? There, inventory solved.

Anti-american sentiment can not be fully explained in this way but the similarities between European anti-semitism and anti-american psudorascism can be.

Did you just call American a race?
Finally I got my feedback from the school where I did my work experience and some of the students were talking about me for weeks after I left.



That is the me I want to be.
Probably comments like "holy fuck do you remember that total douchecunt?" "Yeah, what a fagort." Ha, ha, yeah.

Valerie keeps proving how strong intelligent and sensitive she is. I only hope I am worthy.

If she's all those things, you aren't.

And the rascism inherent in the goth sceene is one reason why I wanted to leave (punks are cool though) and now I have even more reason to stay away. Sorry goths, but you tolorate or particapate in rascism far too much.

"Well I like the music and the aesthetics of it, but they're just too racist, so I won't have anything to do with it." Some fan of music you are. There are Michael Jackson songs I like. Do I not listen to them because he's a pedophile? Hell no, that doesn't make Beat It any less of a good song.

Now the Italians with their fascist tatoos stole the game. It is a shame that Zadine lost his temper and ended his careere on such a note. I would not be surprised if it wasn't a rascist comment taht made him do such a foolish thing. Not because they werer italian, but because many of the team hav fascist tatoos and therefore have made a commitment to fascism.

I'd like to point out that Italian and French aren't races. Any racist comment would apply equally to both since they are both white.

They say that the french are arrogant, but I have never seen it. Very few of the french people I have met have been rascist or arrogant.

Well the main reason you might not see it is because you are the biggest toolbag I have ever witnessed.

When the americans and the french work together, there is nothing they can not do.

Except kill Hitler, am I right guys? Huh? Huh?

I heard that some english people at the pub were making racist remarks at the pub during the game vers France, who are not playing england. Also some people were supporting the Chezks, I assume because they were playing against the US. Good thing about having a french girl friend..... one of the many good things about having a french girlfriend is that she understands how irritatingly racist the english can be.

Yes, French women are renowned for their deep insight into British racism.

I saw The Omen and found it pathetic. I think it is because I have belived that evil exists only in our hearts for a long time.

I ONLY WATCH MOVIES THAT ARE LITERAL AND ROOTED IN REALITY. I CANNOT SUSPEND DISBELIEF, NOT EVEN FOR A SECOND.
I ALSO CANNOT ENJOY A MOVIE THAT DOES NOT AGREE WITH MY OWN WORLD VIEW.
Goddamn you're a close-minded cunt.
Well this goes on and on forever but I'm tired of reading poorly-worded, poorly-thought out posts so I'm going to go do something more worthwhile, like drilling screws into my skull.

All Untruth is Sedition

ARE YOU GUYS READY FOR A TOTALLY AWESOME BLOG FROM RAYLEIGHHH?
That's some name you have there, by the way. I think I read about you in H.P. Lovecraft's Cthulhu Mythos.

Dustin told me he loved me last night.

Wow big day for you, huh? Well I hit level 29 on my red mage today in Final Fantasy XI so I totally one upped your shitty story.
Success is measured by who tells the best story and you just got OBLITERATED.

we were on myspace talking and on the phone at the same time.

Wow the conversation was so deep you required two communication lines open to properly express your thoughts?
Those faggy poets like Shakespeare and Donne could take some notes on you young lovers.
Oh wait, no they can't. They're DEAD.

he mentioned he might be starting to more then care for me, then he left me a comment saying he thinks he might be in love with me.

But yeah back to something more interesting, I'm thinking of switching to scholar once I get the big 30 because that way I'd have a subjob until 60, and besides scholar kicks ass. I know it doesn't sound like it but trust me on this, okay.

he also said that he does not see us having sex at any point in the near future, or at all so far.

Taking a play out of the book of the aforementioned John Donne, I think:

First we loved well and faithfully,
Yet knew not what we loved, nor why ;
Difference of sex we never knew,
No more than guardian angels do ;

That's from The Relic in case you were burning to read it in its entirety. I mention this because I thought it was The Valediction and so had to read TWO poems to find what I was thinking of.
Rough day for me to be sure.

that made me really happy. i shows he really does care for me in a completely seperate way than everyone else i have ever been with.

Let's see, when did she post this-- December 16th. I would bet folding money he has already hit it and quit it.

he said i'm his queen.
he makes me so happy.
wow.

BUT YOU'RE MY QUEEN, RAYLEIGHHH.
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
OH JESUS OH GOD
That's how I imagine that conversation going.
... That was a reference to Cthulhu again. That one felt weak so I thought I'd explain it.

i kissed jacob lee in algebra today.

Jacob? I thought his name was Dustin.

so pretty much, i've been grounded since monday night, due to me being on the phone with dustin at like 10:30 at night when i'm supposed to be off at nine, but whatever.

Dang!
Shit's harsh. No one, no one, can understand the love you share with Dustin. You should definitely be butthurt over this.

- dustin and i are together. i don't remember if i said this or not.

But, but-- you kissed Jacob Lee 24 hours later!
What you are is a lying, cheating HARLOT.

i broke up with jake today too. way too clingy and over bearing.

dustin is calling.

Don't let it get you do-- oh you're already with Dustin.
Well I might say this is a refreshing change from the typical overdramatic bullshit.

Sara and I were having an actual conversation with the obsession today, and some trashy slut came over and pushed both of us out of the way and was like, "PSSSHHT! SCUSE ME!" and sat in his lap.

Ha, ha, ha DESTROYED.

i was so mad, i just walked away.

Being the bigger person, that's something to laud--

Sara and I trash talked her in front of Buddy and Dj the rest of lunch, and i don't think they completely got what we were talking about. haha.

Ha, ha wow that's some passive aggressive bullshit.

Elle and possibly Casey J. is comming with me to the concert tomorrow night with my church.

Glad to see all that church nonsense of being above the rabble and turning the other cheek and making peace rubbed off on you. Took the vital lessons, I see.
Now there's some words I'm not reading because every time I try my eyes cross involuntarily.

- 2007/seventh grade.

I assume the slash means also that year, so that means you are in... 9th grade.
Fantastic.
This, by the way, of things she misses/wants/needs.

- innocence.

"There is no such thing as innocence, only degrees of guilt."

i was kind of reluctant to admit that i was frighted

SHE WAS AFEARED!

but in all reality, Jake and i are still doing really well. even though it's only day eight.

All this ninth grade romance is really fascinating, but don't you have any other thoughts? At all?
I know that's asking a little much from a 9th grade girl posting on Livejournal (might as well be asking the tides to turn) but seriously. Cut it out.

i want to is be more than what i had with DJ but less than what is had with Richard.

DJ and Dick, Jake and-- the new one, what was it? Dustin?
Hold on, let me diagram this.
Ok going earlier-- oh hey, that's it! I'm done! I'm actually done!
Well in conclusion good luck with all your problems, kid and hey get ready for a long, long life of mediocrity and working at a nail salon.
I'm not saying it's glamorous or even all that useful but hey, it's a demand that someone has to fulfill, and where would we be without the countless hordes of menials who grind the wheels of bureaucracy?