Ho-hum

Do you know what Linux is?
Well, it's sort of like Windows in that it's an operating system, but it's totally different from Windows. Linuxfags will claim Windowsfags are slaves to Microsoft and how Linux frees you (I don't think that's how this shit works bro but whatever), but the acute irony of the entire thing is most Linuxfags are slaves to their own PC, because most of the operating system's drivers require you to at least compile them yourself, or sometimes outright write code to get shit to work.
With that out of the way, let's begin~

This art­icle is for you if you’re a Cana­dian foot­ball fan, you don’t have cable TV, you use an oper­at­ing sys­tem which doesn’t run Microsoft Sil­ver­light (such as Linux) and you can’t afford to go out to the bar all the time to watch foot­ball games.

So you're writing yourself an article. I see.

I may have described only one per­son (myself)

Oh. Well, at least you're self-aware.
So now he goes through the process of getting this... Whatever to run. Take note that a Windows user would have just installed Silverlight (fuck I hate Silverlight) and be done with the mess (after you reset five times to get all the updates). Let's see what working this sorcery on Linux entails.

The first and most import­ant part is to install rtm­p­dump, a util­ity which you will use to actu­ally down­load the video stream. I’m using a rel­at­ively ancient ver­sion of rtm­p­dump and I don’t think it mat­ters par­tic­u­larly which ver­sion you use.

Okay so you need the toolkit first. This makes sense, I guess, and an internet savvy person could find this easily, so I guess it's not too bad so far.

From there all that is needed is a way to get the rtmp URLs of the game you want. To use the script below, you give it a link to a game you want to down­load — some­thing of the form http://​watch​.tsn​.ca/​c​f​l ​-​g​a​m​e​s​-​o​n​-​d​e​m​a​n​d​/​w​e​e​k​-​1​-​a​l​o​u​e​t​t​e​s​- ​v​s​-​r​o​u​g​h​r​i​d​e​rs/

I guess this all stands to reason.

#!/​bin/​bash
match_​name=$(echo “$1″ | sed ‘s,\(http://.*\)\(week-[^/]*\)\(.*\),\2,’)
q=0
# get through all the videos (quar­ters) linked to by the given game (“epis­ode”)
for i in $(wget –q –O — “$1″ | fgrep ‘#clip’ | sed ‘s/\(.*#clip\)\([0 – 9]*\)\(.*\)/\2/’ | uniq) ; do
src=$(wget –q –O  — “http://​esi​.ctv​.ca/​d​a​t​a​f​e​e​d​/​f​l​v​ /​u​r​l​g​e​n​j​s​.​a​s​p​x​?​vid=$i” | sed ‘s@\(.*\)\(rtmp://.*\.flv\)\(.*\)@\2@’ | tr –d ‘\n\r ‘)
echo “sav­ing from $src“
echo “sav­ing to $match_​name-$q.flv“
rtm­p­dump –r “$src” –o “$match_​name-$q.flv“
q=$(($q + 1))
done
# cre­ate dummy file so we don’t know before­hand if a game went into over­time
if [ $q –eq 4 ] ; then
touch “$match_​name-$q.flv“
fi

What.

I bought a new laptop a couple days ago. For the past 6 years I’ve been using Macs just about exclus­ively; for the past 3 years or so it’s been my Mac­Book that’s been my main machine.

I see, so Linux is where you go when Mac is no longer pretentious enough for you.

Fuck! This! (said as Crispin Glover from Drunken History: Nikola Tesla)

What.
I just noticed your avatar, man. It's really bothering me. Stupid shit-eating grin, knock that the fuck off.

I'm itchy all over. Just a little bit. The Internet informs me this is either dry skin, an allergic reaction, an iron deficiency, liver disease, kidney disease, an intestinal parasitic infection or lymphoma.

Anyone else rooting for lymphoma?

I'm usually one of the first to talk trash about linguistic prescriptivists.

Definitely rooting for lymphoma now, Jesus Christ.

And then stomp on their glasses when they're crying. The irony is that I actually try to stick to prescriptively correct grammar in my own speech.

I roll my eyes at who people claim that English has a subjunctive—

Err-- "She was required" would be subjunctive, wouldn't it? Since it requires a conjunction, hence sub- -junct-ive? Am I crazy here?

but at the same time I use the subjunctive in my own speech and I start envisioning bloody trails of dismembered limbs whenever I hear a sentence start with "if I was ..."

Am I going insane?

I think the issue of prescriptivism vs. descriptivism extends far beyond grammar.

All right chucklehead let me solve your problem for you. Grammar is descriptive (that is, "describes shit that we see and do" to to all you non-assholes) to a point, but at some point some people (sometimes even one person) sits down and decides for all of us this is how we should be speaking grammatically (that's the prescription part, where someone prescribes how language should work).

So, back to prescriptivism in linguistics. There's a very interesting class of words in English called auto-antonyms, words which are their own opposites.

All right it's far too early in the day for my brain to be filled with this much fuck. I don't even have class for another two hours.

The word "literally" literally means "not literally" (depending on what dictionary you go by).

... No it doesn't. The word "literally" comes from "literal" plus "-ly". It means "involving" or "in accordance with" (there's another subjunctive for you, asshole).
Many people use it in a one-off, sarcastic manner but that doesn't mean the word itself has a whole new meaning. If I say sarcastically "wow, you're a really cool dude" am I suddenly going to rewrite the dictionary definition of cool to read "not cool"? No, because I'm not living in a 1984 dystopia where the government is trying to reduce language to only one word: "yes".

Some of you might cry bloody murder and say "those aren't the correct uses of those words, though!" to which I would reply "fuck you, prescriptivist, and prepare to have your glasses stomped on".

You don't even have an argument for your bullshit outside of threatening physical violence.
That is a good point. Those aren't correct usages of those words. What do you have to say about that?

This isn't a new phenomenon, either.

Hey I asked you a question. How are those correct?

So far as I can tell, there are three solutions to this problem:
Become a more literal Nazi and install a brutal dictatorship

I skipped some shit just to highlight this point.
So your only answer to someone who disagrees with you is to threaten and then call them a Nazi.
Okay, nothing to see here.
I don't even give a shit about this, what's it, descriptivist versus prescriptivist bullshit because quite frankly no one does and it's so stupid and petty only pretentious college idiots have enough free time to argue this nonsense, but I do enjoy pointing out you're an idiot.

As any­one born around 1980 would know, gam­ing reached abso­lute per­fec­tion with the release of NHL ’94.

Excuse me?

I think I’ll work a bit more on the novel today, some­thing I haven’t done in prob­ably a couple months. I always kind of knew, but it’s become increas­ingly obvi­ous that the core of the novel isn’t so much a story as an explor­a­tion of human­ity, the defin­i­tion of human­ity and espe­cially the rela­tion­ship between human­ity and lan­guage

I think we're done here.
He's like a triple-nerd, I can't believe it.