FOR THE EMPEROR!

The semester is winding down, finals are around the corner-- it's nice to see people can take time out of their day to be pretentious, self-centered douches.

In the midst of the end of the semester, I'm really busy and it's really easy for me to stress out but I have just felt God saying to me this week, You can do this. You don't need to be stressed. Look at all I've given you; You have friends who love you, family who wants to see you, the love of your life there to support you, the character to do what's right even if it's hard, the motivation and focus to complete it all, and most of all, Rachel, you have My joy that I have given you especially for times such as these. Trust me Rachel."

Stop. I never bought into this religion thing in general and Christianity specifically, but I don't think the point of faith in some sort of religion is to make its central deity your fucking personal self-help guru. He said all that to you, did he?

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me

Ugh this is already getting tiresome.
Now here's a post entitled "Ha ha" with nothing in it. I guess that's the number of things she's said that have caused others to laugh (owned).

I commit this coming year to one where I will draw nearer to my Savior.
A year where I pray more about decisions... large & small.

Great. More time spent hoping some magical space entity will make my decisions for me instead of doing shit for myself.

Or I could say, "Because I scare the boys away with my awesomeness."

Yeah I'm sure that's it. Don't you Christfags have some sort of rule about hubris or something?

Have you ever just wanted someone to want to get to know you?

Nope. If I perceive someone I'd like to get to know better, I talk to them. If they enjoy my company we hit it off. If not, fuck them.

I'm sure you have.

Well aren't you presumptuous?

Everyone wants that I think. But I would really like to be known and for someone to ask me about....me. Eh.

So you want people to be interested in you, is that it? Well for people to be interested in you, you have to first be interesting. That's the difficult thing for a lot of people. There are many ways to be interesting. You can look interesting, say interesting things, or have an interesting talent.
So far, based off the contents of your blog, you fail at all three things. I mean, I've never seen you before, but I can imagine.

I've been around the block a few times and my age has nothing to do with it because people are so quick to use the age card to count for life experience when that's not necessarily true.

I'LL BET YOU'VE BEEN AROUND THE BLOCKS A FEW TIMES! (burn)
Also shut up. You're 19. You know nothing.
Now here's her lesson for today, which I think is particularly apt:

Don't put your life on the internet if you don't want people to read it

Couldn't agree more.

It's hard to deal with sometimes when people assume things about you that aren't true. They don't even know you, or know someone close to you but they'll still pass judgments.

Who gives a fuck? If they don't know me, I most likely don't know them, and therefore by default don't care what they think.

At least put a little truth in peoples' minds instead of crazy stories they'll make up on their own and say about me?

Oh wow unwarranted self importance. You really think people you don't know care that much about you? Most people probably won't look twice. Seriously.
I'll teach you a valuable lesson right here, right now. Let's go through your little list, and I'll say what immediately comes to mind when I read it.

I'm single. Not looking, not interested.

Lesbian.

I'm grateful for the close friends I have. I'm happy that, in all honesty & sincerity, Gus and I are friends. Nothing even close to anything else. I'm happy about that because of aforementioned reasons and because he and I never got to be real friends without romantic inclinations before.

You're manipulative.

I love myself. I love who I am becoming and the changes I have made.

You have no self confidence and rely on your friends 100% to prop your self esteem up.

It's really important to me to be consistent in my relationship with God because sooner than I think, I will be on my own and my world falls apart when I do things my own way apart from the God who loves me and takes care of me.

Don't think a lot about this, quite frankly. Oh wait, I have one. You're stupid. Now how did that make you feel? Pretty bad, I imagine. But oh wait a minute: who the fuck am I? I'm no one, at least to you. Why does my opinion matter? It doesn't.

It's just weird knowing as much as I stalk other people, people are stalking me. Weird.

Yes, those who do illegal things are quite often afraid that they will be caught, or that their activities are reciprocated. "Dark thoughts weigh heavily on the heart."

Just remember that:
You may think you know, but you have no idea.

Know what? Philosophically speaking all I can say with 100% certainty is that "I am." After that I'm pretty much making assumptions. Still I know a lot of things to a fairly safe margin of error.

Goodbye Stalkers.

You really think you're being stalked, don't you?

I hate having my journal friends only...

Uhh--

It is especially 'disheartening' since I probably won't be dating at all for three years. Three years of THIS. Let's just hope that Jesus gives me a heart change soon so that I can be happy as a single woman. And by 'soon', I mean now, because I don't know how this will affect me in a little state called desperation. The last time that feeling came over me... let's just say, it was a mental disease filled with poor choices.

I think you need to get laid.

Sooo.... here's the big news.
Yesterday I praised God that I had a sister because she got us tickets to go see the most amazing band of my life.

So you only praised God for you sister because she did something for you? Wow, what a cunt.

So I am officially a college student who attends classes, studies, and has migraines. It's pretty great if you ask me.

>migraines
>pretty great
you've never had a migraine, have you?

But, the food is great, most of the people are great.

Okay now I'm sure you've never been to college, either.

I met a girl yesterday who is legally blind with a slew of eye problems like, her eyes can't focus, and she's photophobic meaning she can't be in the sunlight. And she's an AMAZING artist!! She's just sooo good. I'm so jealous. God really gave her a precious gift.

Just not sight. One might wonder what kind of God would allow a person to go blind.

There are so many girls who are Christians but they don't understand why that should entail a level of modesty.

Huh, you, Mrs. "people are stalking me because I'm so scary awesome :)" lecturing people on modesty.

I watched a movie this morning and then walked to Curves and worked out until the sweat was streaming in my eyes :-p .

Ha, ha-- eww.
Now there's a ton of shit I don't care about, so entry over, I guess.