Oh God.

I knew I was in for easy pickings when I saw today's writer's block:

Do you think there will be a cure for AIDS in your lifetime? Why or why not?

This question has all the warning signs. We have a complex issue (pandemics and biology and logistics and economics oh my!) and we have liberal white people wanting to seem tolerant (typical Livejournal user) and we have misinformation about what a disease is and what drug research is (again, typical Livejournal user and not knowing shit about fuck).
Ohhhhhhh boy.
I don't know this person but I've met him a thousand times in my pussy sensitivity classes.

I'm undecided on this one. On the one hand, people are still working on it. On the other, it has moved from being viewed as a disease which affects queer folk and drug users to being viewed as "That thing over in Africa."

Let me answer this question for everyone: AIDS is an unusual virus in that it evolves at an incredibly rapid rate, due to the way its RNA duplicates. You see, most creatures have something that error checks for recombination mistakes and such but AIDS, due to a quirk of evolution, doesn't have this.
This means that most of the new viruses spawned from a single AIDS virus are completely useless and will probably die shortly after they're spawned but AIDS also has an incredible turnover rate. It reproduces so fast that this isn't much of a problem and occasionally an especially strong virus is created.
Hence why AIDS tends to become drug resistant quickly.

If it began affecting heterosexual white people in large numbers, a cure would probably already have been found.

Cancer affects a large number of heterosexual white people (men especially).
Sure glad a cure for that has been found.
Hey--
Incidentally never compare cancer to another disease as a reason for why just because it affects white people a cure won't necessarily be found. I pulled that in a pussy sensitivity class once and you'd have thought I primed a live hand grenade.
All right fine, if it affects white people a cure will be found overnight.
Whatever.

Sideburns are coming along, slowly and weirdly. And the rest of my face is nicely shaven now. :D I figured out a method to keep the sink from being filled with hair - not an ideal method, but one that works nonetheless.

I'm seriously not about to read a post that contains shaving tips, am I?
Oh, no I'm not. That was just an FYI I guess.

Heading out to buy some shoes later with Tod and our new roommate, Milo. :D SHOES. Shoes that are waterproof. WOW. I'll also be on the lookout for some 80s trinkets, to wear with what will hopefully be an awesome 80s outfit on Tuesday for work. The theme is "Your Favorite Decade."

Suddenly I'm not so sold on the 80s as I have been in previous posts.
This is a girl, right?
Oh right he was talking about sideburns so I guess not.
Well have fun buying shoes with your guy friends I guess.
Faggot.

I want to pass this out far and wide, because not a lot of people know about it. There are free cell phone programs for people who are low income. The top two are Assurance Wireless (via Virgin Mobile) and SafeLink Wireless (Via Tracfone.) Apparently the government has been subsidising parts of wireless bills for years, but now they decided just to provide programs specifically for people who would otherwise be subsidised for bills.

subsidized.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzz, friend.
Unless you're English which I'm guessing you aren't.
Also I wish I got a free cellphone.

Please pass this on to anyone you know who is low income, and who either can't afford a phone anymore or couldn't afford one in the first place.

I don't associate with peasants.
Okay, so his next post had some sort of symbol that for a long time I seriously thought was a Chaos symbol from Warhammer but upon further study of it it's the male symbol and the female symbol overlapping and there's a third point jutting out from the end where there wouldn't be one if you were to interpose those two symbols (if you can dig it) that looks like a smaller version of the male symbol with a flat end.
Incidentally it's all green.
I have no fucking clue what this is supposed to represent but I'm guessing it has the taint of Chaos on it.
I reckon if you overlap those two it's supposed to represent fucking because as we all know the girl symbol is the mirror of Aphrodite and the male symbol is the lance and shield of Ares who most definitely got it on and unleashed some of the most malevolent gods you can imagine.
It makes sense. You have bloodlust and destruction breeding with lust and desire.
Of course nothing good comes out of that.
So yeah, symbol of Chaos and prepare to be purged, scum.
The post, inexplicably, is about toilets.
Oh but wait:

I was going to rant about transgender rights legislation being labeled as 'bathroom bills,' but I got tired of the idea pretty quickly. I spend a large amount of energy when in public keeping an eye out for transphobia and homophobia.

I spend a large amount of time and energy in public pretending I have a Russian spy stalking me.

Hearing people tell me that my actual need to urinate needs to be set aside because hypothetical boogeymen will dress in drag in order to rape people is getting quite old.

The few times I have to use a public bathroom I try to have several escape or combat contingency plans in case someone tries to mug me while my pants are down.

Can we learn from the whole fiasco of assumign terrorists will somehow use altering gender markers as part of a nefarious plot? In my own informal study, I've found that no straight person will consider using the "Don't Ask Don't Tell" policy to get out of the military because then they would be labelled as gay and someone else might find out.

I wouldn't use that because I am no coward and wouldn't try to weasel out of military service if I were drafted.
That said I'm definitely not signing up because there is no honor to be gained in modern conflicts.

Egyptian women are now labelling spots where they have been harassed along with the incidents that occurred.

Brown girls of Egypt, I have an out for exactly one of you.

And some republicans offering to give the President the power to raise the debt ceiling - WOW. Thank goodness.

THANK CHRIST LET'S SPIRAL OUR DEBT FURTHER OUT OF CONTROL.

Oh well. I am hoping someone on the magical Ubuntu forums will be able to help me. I'm thinking also of switching to another Linux system, because I can't update to the newest thing, and for some reason most of the programs...

Anyone else surprised this yahoo uses Linux?
I'm not.

Ubuntu, you have made me sad. :/ For some reason, I was no longer able to open any jpegs on my computer after my last update. This...is totally not working for making the art.

Bet it's furry art.
How much you wanna bet?
I will bet all the money I have. I am going all in.

So I finally now get why some people go on a tirade about surgery and therapy and bad decisions when someone they know comes out as trans. These people think that, "I am trans" actually means "I am getting surgery." It didn't occur to me until now that people would actually think surgery is the only thing involved in being trans.

(And no, not the surgery. There is no such thing as the surgery.)

Yeah there is. Getting your dick cut off is the surgery.
There might be other surgeries but that's the thing everyone is thinking about when it comes up.
So here's a question: are you transsexual? If not, shut up about it.
If you are, shut up about it.
No one gives three fucks.

If one is lucky enough not to live in a very homophobic and/or transphobic environment, then coming out will at most be irritating. Even with well meaning, nice people. Inevitably, someone will make a weird comment out of nowhere, because this is the first time they've thought about what someone who doesn't fit the gender binary goes through. This is essentially the same as loudly announcing every thought one has in their head.

Here would be my response: "yeah good luck with all that shit."
Someone told me recently I'm not the most understanding person ever.
No, I understand my own problems very acutely. Did you know they're fucking leves up with tomorrow's patch?
I can think of no greater injustice currently. Because it affects me.
A lot of people would say that's pretty callous of me but I'd say at least I'm being honest.

And the number one comment I have ever received from anyone at a workplace:

What can lesbians do for each other?

Haven't you seen porn? Quite a lot, really.
(probably incriminating myself here)

I kid you not. I was asked this while I worked at a Pizza Hut down south. Most of the employees were waiting for one person to finish their job so that we could all go home at about 1:00 AM.

You're working 3rd (4th? I don't know) shift at Pizza Hut in the South. You should be lucky the people involved could form words that resembled a language.

I feel so tired when it comes to telling anyone what's what anymore.

So stop doing it.
I don't explain leves to people anymore. It's a year in and you have a rank 45. You should know how this shit works. Just follow my instructions and don't fuck them up (which is still nearly impossible) and we'll get through this.
I can't believe the number of people that need reminded when it's time to drop leves.
There are three things you have to do to do leves: you have to successfully link them when it's your turn (made simple because I keep a chart handy and I tell them who links what when it's their turn and remind who doesn't have to link and who has already gone) you have to fight the monsters (made convenient because I often mark which target to attack) then you have to drop the leve before we kill the last enemy so you can get it again next reset.
The only thing I haven't done for you in this process is control your character for you and process the oxygen you breathe.
I have made it so if you are playing this game you can succeed and somehow people still fuck it up.
They are beyond redemption.
Oh right, transsexual business.
Whatever.

The other day someone called to see if there was a man in the house who wanted to take a survey about health care. Yeah, I very much wanted to take a survey about healthcare. It matters to me that views like mine get put out there.

Ew you like taking surveys?
"Get the fuck out of my house you social parasite" would have been my response.

However, several months ago, maybe a year ago, someone else called to give a survey to the 'man of the house.' I said that was me, and he proceeded to argue with me. I then explained that I was trans, that I had had my gender marker changed, so yeah, I am totally legally male. I opted not to go into further detail about birth certificates and selective service because this ought to have been a short phone conversation.

Ahem, men do have to register for selective service.
As a man have you done that?

So when a new survey person called up for a male respondent, I stood there without saying anything for a bit. This person thought I wasn't there, so I finally just said 'no.' I'd really prefer to have said yes, but I feel very tired.

Something resembling a woman is looking at me (apparently) so whatever, lady (or man, I guess, I don't know).
WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THIS ENTRY?

The local famous drag queen is a member, so it seems everyone's ideas about genderqueerness come from her. There are also gay members, and I'm sure there are bi members. But other trans members who aren't cis people that dress in drag? I don't think so. Never heard of them.

Trans members who aren't cis that dress in drag what?
Are these words?

And I'd prefer to have no problems at work. I'd prefer just announcing it to everyone right off, "Yeah, I'm male, yes I use masculine pronouns and I expect you to do so as well."

I will if I remember but surprisingly my job and my day aren't consumed by trying to remember which pronouns to call everyone so if I slip up excuse me.
It should be kind of obvious but I've long since given up on that argument.

I'm planning on asking my boss whether it would be alright if I just e-mail everyone, because the method I worked out with him talking to people privately doesn't seem to be working. I don't know who has been talked to and needs correcting, or who hasn't and needs an explanation.

Look, whatever you are, I'm trying to teach in this shitty high school. Can you please leave me alone so I can explain to 9th graders what a comma is?
I'm having a time preventing the 7 foot tall known felon from assaulting this other girl.
See, look, I've had to call the office. I need you to stop running your yap and impose yourself between the two parties in this situation. I can't because my phone has a cord.
Or you can use the phone and I'll do it. Either way it needs doing.
(this really happened but fortunately the backup I had in the classroom at the time was also a large black gentleman).

Also, after his taking me aside to suggest, "Hey, have you considered whether or not wearing conservative clothing would help you pass more?"

"Yes I'm trying to prevent girls from getting raped and one of the ways I know to do this is to not wear a skirt with no panties. I know that's sexist and whatever but I need you to go to the office and change, thanks."
Oh my God my life.
What has happened?
She had to know there was a rule that girls can't wear skirts that short and she had to know I was going to notice. Why does she even challenge me on this? Like what, I'm going to let her slide?
If I let her slide then I lose all control and then everything goes to hell so no, march your ass down to the office.
Fuck.
Then she tries to play hardball like I'm not on a first name basis with the enforcer of the school who was an ex Navy SEAL.
You can do what I say now or we can play it the hard way but either way guess who's winning in this situation?
She saw it my way.
Oh, yes, blogs. Sorry I just had what I assume is a flashback.

while I was dealing with the potential of being fired if I couldn't concentrate harder on my work and work faster. I have no fear of being fired now, but dealing with this nonsense is tiring.

Hey there's a thought. Doing your job.
By the end of the year 95% of my kids knew what a comma was and knew how to use it.
Proud moment.

I am apalled. And I wrote a better earlier post, but it was eaten by the Asus EEE PC 1001X and its really awful control functions.

I have one of those and I just don't use control functions.
I know it may seem like common sense but, you know, it's not.

I'm going to write down what the choices are here a bit later, but I don't have time to do it tonight. Anyway, this is all because North Korea released a 'happiness index' in which it was ranked the second happiest nation in the world.

Ha, ha, oh wow.
Now there's an entity I'd feel comfortable fighting.

The first two times that this happened, I simply smiled and went on. She insisted that they never did this - that they were well behaved. The third time I mentioned how many times this had happened, and tried to enter into dialogue with her about how she needs to follow the leash laws. She proceeded to tell me that I was stupid, and that standing still rather than continuing to walk was a dumb idea - that I needed to learn how to deal with her snarling angry dogs.

See this is exactly what I'm talking about. You give people an inch and they take a meter.
I'll tell you exactly how I'm going to deal with your dogs next time you stupid twat: some cayenne pepper will fix your dogs right up, I GUARANTEE.
That's right. Threaten to mace her dogs. Your goal in life is to look five times crazier on average than they are on their worst day.

There is no recourse for me. Leash laws are extremely ineffective around here. In order to have them enforced, I would need the person's name or other information.

Or you could stop being a victim and act like the man you think you are and man the fuck up.
I'm not saying mace her dogs (that is kind of extreme even by my standards) but you could do something.
Get a pitbull and let it run around without a leash. See what happens when they meet each other.
That sort of thing.
So earlier when I said "oh right, sideburns so this is a guy."
Heh, memories.
I'd like to get one more dumbass blogger moment for the road, though.

E-zine articles is continuing with more weirdness. I messaged them about an article on transgender pagan people, because whoever or whatever did their spellchecking didn't recognize transgender or magick as properly spelled.

MAGIC IS SPELLED WITH A C YOU DUMB CUNT.
Fucking witchcraft and sorcery.
THANK YOU.

Let's be self-important

There are three kinds of successful people: people who are directly useful, people who are useful but in an indirect way, and parasites. Let's discuss this later option for a moment: their freedom and all of the wealth they enjoy is parasitic. They spread, like a cancer, and leech off the hard work of the other two main categories. There can be no greater example of this than a lawyer.
Welcome to a law major.
Oh, also: today's writer's block.

How would you describe your ideal romantic partner in six words?

Delicious brown or yellow girl.
One extra word.

Patient, respectful, mellow, intelligent, cultured, and cuddly.

Oh yeah yeah anyway onto more important things: FFXIV. I found a flowchart that summarizes the FFXIV and indeed any RPG experience:I'm currently enjoying the left and right branch of this flowchart at the same time.
The question is do I sell the 70 of the item I don't need?
There's such a pack rat mentality in these games. IF I THROW IT AWAY I'LL NEED IT IMMEDIATELY and it sounds like fucking crazy talk but I've been burned by that exact situation more times than I can count.

Classes started yesterday. I think my MWF mornings (American Legislative System, then Ethics) are going to be my favorite part of the semester. You know, minus the whole "being awake in the morning" thing.

Ethics. What would filth like you know about ethics?
Lawyers don't understand ethics, they know ethics. There is a huge difference.
When you look at a book I'm sure you see the weight of the paper and the quality of the material before you see the actual words on the page.

I may have pulled out all A+s last semester, but aside from Saturdays in Bryant Denny, I wasn't having the kind of fun that I wanted.

They are pretty much mutually exclusive categories.

I hope to be an attorney someday, and even though I'm only a college sophomore, I've gone on a researching spree tonight for large law firms in the Atlanta area.

My two most important qualifiers in a choice: insurance litigation practice and domestic partner (NOT just spousal, nor only same-sex DP) benefits.

Domestic partner benefits. That's good. You get the double whammy that way: you get to create and leech off a bad situation.
Also your kind is the reason insurance is as crazy as it is.
Scum.

With a high success rate (and high starting salaries) in tow, I think it's an understatement to say that I'm excited about my future.

Excited about my future of producing nothing, thanks.
I hate this cunt.

Admittedly, I have yet to "come out" as several things; however, some are more pertinent than others, and I decided it was time to let my parents know that they shouldn't be expecting children from me.

Well at least you're opting yourself out of the gene pool.

So far, things haven't been so hard. I dread the day I have to announce my convictions to my partner's parents, but that doesn't need to happen for years to come. Hopefully I'll be fixed by then, so there won't be any argument.

Partner.
Lesbian?
Gay guy?
Who the fuck cares, goddamn.

A few weeks ago, it was finals week. I slept in until 10:30 after cramming the night before and woke up to get coffee with my best friend before she left town for the semester. As I pulled on a sweater, I had the realization:
The rest of my life could be exactly like this.
Ok, maybe I can't take finals for the rest of my life, nor can I sleep in every single day. However, I can sleep in on weekends and go meet my friend for coffee on a whim. I don't have to get permission. I don't have to make special arrangements.

See what I mean? And she'll continue to do this by suing insurance companies. Her freedom and everything she enjoys in life is parasitic.
Meanwhile people can't afford insurance at all because of nonsense like this but OH FUCKING WELL.

I was only recently made aware that having children is optional. I know, I hear it all the time: "For a smart girl, you don't have much common sense."

Oh you hear that all the time, do you? I guarantee you've never heard what I'm saying about you right now.

I'm aware. I operated under the assumption that having kids is "just what you do" for 19 years.

It is just what you do, though. It's biology.
Don't interpret that as me advocating people should have children, though. Most absolutely should not.

I assumed that I would do it too. I never really put any thought into how I would be a proper parent on an attorney's schedule, nor how I would fulfill my dream of going to every Alabama game for the rest of my life around a child's needs; I just assumed.

I have to give her some credit: at least she considered the kid.
I'm still not buying any of this. She'll probably decide she wants to pass on her glorious genetics to the future and not raise the bastard. Great.

Recently came the fun part: discussing my realization with my partner. I acknowledged that his reaction could mean we couldn't be together for life, and I'm not going to pretend that losing him would be a glancing blow.

>Him
IS THIS A GUY?
I seriously cannot tell. Using the term "partner" would seem to imply a gay couple but-- no, she said "smart girl" before so presumably this is a girl.
Or are you one of those that thinks the term "woman" implies some sort of submissiveness on the part of women so you refuse to use anything but absolutely gender neutral terms?
Oh God, no.

As always, he was understanding, if a little confused. He seemed to want to listen more than inquire.

He was probably thinking about sex while listening to you prattle on about dumb bullshit.

While my partner seems to be a milder problem, his mother is another story. From what I understand, she's infertile, but wanted children. Because of this, she adopted my partner and his sister from Eastern European countries.

WE ARE GOING BACK TO CZECHOSLOVAKIA-- I already did this joke.

Family is a huge part of her life; her Facebook says that being a mother is her biggest accomplishment. Her Facebook also reveals other things... A refusal to acknowledge me by name despite being her son's partner since junior year of high school, a special level of cattiness toward her coworkers the likes of which I've never seen, and a seriously Southern Baptist outlook.

I really care about whatever the fuck it is I'm reading.
So now I'm back to my proverbial rack here: is this a guy or a girl? Maybe it's a guy who dresses up like a girl?
Transgendered person?
"Gender confused"?
WHY USE THE TERM PARTNER IF YOU ARE A GIRL DATING A GUY?

I deeply fear her reaction to the fact that her son will not have children - even just the reaction to him not having biological children. I fear insulting her by refusing to make use of a perfectly good uterus.

YOU HAVE A UTERUS YOU MUST BE A WOMAN.

I suppose this very long, very tangent-y post is to say that I'm thinking a great deal about my choice to be childfree lately. My certainty is about as effective as my superb birth control.

How would you talking about being child-free (not a compound word, idiot) be "tangentially related" when your entire post is about not having children?

I don't think I will ever rule out the possibility of a mind change, but I am not doing so to comfort others; it is for me, for the reassurance that I am in control of my decisions at all times.

I CALLED IT HA, HA GOD YOU SUCK.
This is why I'm never marrying a girl who speaks English. She's going to have to have all these crazy thoughts in a language I can't understand.
In fact, no, fuck that. She can speak English but she's going to be so AMAZED THAT I BROUGHT HER TO A COUNTRY WITH CLEAN, RUNNING WATER she'll never pull this dipshit stuff on me.
Goddamn what a lawyer move. All this conviction but "I reserve the right to change my mind" like, what, educated people never change their minds? No, it happens all the time. You just put that wiggle clause in there to later avoid having to say you were wrong. You are the definition of a coward.

I think biological is out of the question for good, but from time to time I like the idea of taking in a teenage foster child and sending him/her to college on the fortune I would have spent on diapers, or offering to board foster children who were kicked out of the system at age 18 with nowhere to go.

Oh yeah, all your ill-gotten money spent on a worthy cause.
Jeeeeeeeeeeeesus Christ.

I have a tumblr, and as much as I like that blogging format, I don't feel like I can talk about the serious stuff on there. It's a more a place of funny and attractive things for me, so I need a place for the ugly to go when it needs.
So, here I am.

Ooooooh a pretentious Tumblr girl.
Hipster bitches, all of you.
A little lot about myself:

I'm a student at the University of Alabama. I absolutely adore it here. I'm currently majoring in both Political Science and Criminal Justice; I'd also major in History and English if I had the time in my scholarship.

Major in engineering and build something.

Someday I hope to attend law school and become an attorney.
I grew up outside of Atlanta and love the Southeast, despite its Bible-beating tendencies. Speaking of, I consider myself somewhat of a Christian, albeit not nearly as devout as I once was.

I bet you have an annoying Southern accent too fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

I believe in a higher power and I follow Christ's "love one another" message the best I can and don't worry about the nitpicky stuff, so take that for what it is.

I believe in ZEUS.

I'm a pretty outspoken feminist and liberal. Absolutely pro-choice, pro gay rights, pro taxes on the ultra-rich, etc.

Corinthians 14:34-35:

Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.

And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

I'm not gonna make a huge deal about this since you said you don't focus on the "nit-picky" parts of Christianity but that is a quote from the apostle Paul, one of Jesus' "elect".

I have a partner with whom I've been exclusive for a little over two and a half years. He's patient and understanding, loves cats, and doesn't get on my nerves; he's pretty much the ideal human being with whom to enjoy life.

Yeah, about that. Why "partner"?
Unless they're business partners, but-- no.

I have stretched ears (half-inch) and one tattoo (with my next hopefully to come in the next few weeks).

Oh, very attractive.

I have terrible nearsightedness, but awesome glasses more than make up for it.
My favorite family members are covered in fur.

And a furry. I found a real winner here.

I suppose you can expect this journal to be on any of the above and more. If you read all that, you deserve a medal...

Just pile that next to my other extensive honors earned in battle against douchebaggery. A true Space Marine cares not for accolades and ranks. I am just thankful to do battle against the enemies of Man.
Also I'd like to take this time to amend my earlier writer's block answer. I feel "I want a girl not accioalabama" would be a more accurate answer.

Billie Jean's not my lover

She's just a girl who claims that I am the one.
Anyway today's blog comes to us from WoWLadies (heh) and, being a player of World of Warcraft, she is a furry. No surprise there. Enjoy your shitty Cataclysm expansion, fags. Meanwhile I'll be over here playing superior games~
Speaking of there's some news coming for FFXIV. I'm not about to leak it here because after losing my mind for two days just to get into the beta I'm not about to compromise it but needless to say it's pretty interesting.Anyway this is one of them journals where you have to agree you're fourteen years of age OR OLDER to every entry not to mention you have to agree before you even enter the blog. I'm pretty sure if I was fourteen when I first entered I'll be fourteen when I view each entry, won't I? What, am I suddenly going to get scared and turn around? Fuck that.
First thing I notice about the first post (after agreeing I'm old enough, naturally) is that her tags include "love life" and "sex queen" which a quick reminder where I found this blog will ensure I'm about to be grossed out.

Hey! Guess what!

I know that there are people who are new to my journal (and me).

MWUAHAHAHA.

I hate it when people do "evil laughter" ironically (xD). UR SO BAD, E_MILY!

Welcome, folks.
So, here's the deal.

Oh, here's the deal. Man, I feel so plugged in lately. It's like I'm getting the inside view of everything important lately!

I (mostly) keep a public journal.

Rest assured, ye unwashed masses: if it is posted somewhere where more than one person can read it, it is fully public. Therefore, the only safe place to keep a secret is locked away within your own mind.

Certain things are locked to f-groups because some people don't want to know about some stuff and some (but not most of my life) stuff I only want to talk about with certain people.

Oh so that's how that works. I thought all people were open books all the time. My mistake I guess. Seriously though I have not met one person who has said "I don't want to talk about it" who didn't immediately start talking about it upon using certain real life cheat codes. I call it the "conversational clip mode". Walking through the walls of this conversation, excuse me.

The biggest way this impacts those of you who are new?

This is important because this is going to affect my enjoyment (I can't put enough sarcasm quotes around the word "enjoyment" so I won't even try) of this blog so I better pay attention.
Goddamn I've been at this for two years now and I've never seen rules that come with a blog before. This is really unreasonable.

(srsly, if I put you on a "private-type" filter, that's up to me. Although if any of you are on a filter that lets you read posts that you'd rather not, feel free to let me know.)

What, like I care that much? Assuming I live in a parallel dimension where I did, you really don't think I'd know? I could be through your cute little filters in about fifteen seconds. You are not so good with computers to keep me out.

I keep my sex-and-body-TMI stuff behind a filter, because I know there are some people who'd rather not know.

I'd like to point out I had to agree three times to even read this (another warning, oddly enough). I think you've eliminated all but the most dedicated.

And I know that there are those of you who either don't care about knowing, or DO want to know.

So let's cover what we know so far:she may (or may not) tell people what they did (or didn't) want to know through a complex series of filters I'm not sure I fully understand, but if you think you've been set under the wrong filter group (tailoring my reading experience to me, this is really emergent game play) I can apply for a new filter group.
I've never seen a blog with an application process. You really are self-important, aren't you?
Incidentally this post was from 2025 so we have a few years before this'll occur I guess.
Hokay. Pretty sure I figured out the vows, rewritten. (We forgot to keep a copy.)
Oh we're taking written vows, this is pretty serious.
Honor is all, remember that.

I, (name) take you, (name), to be my partner. Loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know. We will share all of life's experiences, and support each others' goals and dreams. I give you my hand, my heart, and my devotion, from this day forward.

That's a dumb vow. There's not even a provision it where you agree to not take future vows that will, in so doing, violate previous vows. I see all sorts of loopholes in this.
A vow should, first and foremost, demonstrate that your word is your bond, otherwise what's the point in even vowing something?

I give you this ring as a sign of my love and faithfulness.

AND MY AXE. Wait, no, no that's Lord of the Rings.
Oh there's you and your husband. He looks impotent. He also looks like half an idiot. Actually you both do.Congratulations I guess. Enjoy your life of mediocrity.

Will just picked up his tux, and the tie and vest are green.

We ordered purple.

Depending on the shade those contrast. What, you wanted your exact-fucking-order, princess? Close enough, whatever.

ETA: hahahaha so the clerk jotted down green (Will was being a butt and joking "So I'm getting a green one?" the whole time we were there ordering them and I was firmly insisting "No, purple.") and now they're scrambling to fix it.

So you said green and purple and you were amazed when you got the wrong thing. I'm about to drag out my color wheel here to conclusively prove you cannot have "green-purple" because they sit on the opposite side of the color wheel and therefore create brown.

The first TEN people to comment in this post get to request

Fuck too bad I wasn't there to post. "Fucking kill yourself" would be my request.

ONE shiny (probably) cute little drawing of something.

Oh. What-the-fuck-ever.

Is it August 16th yet?

God I miss work.

Oh what's up EDUCATIONAL ENGINEER (fancy term I just invented for "someone who works at a school").

Once again, Mystery Vegetable Pasta proves its versatility and deliciousness!

This post is rated T for Teen I can't believe I have to click on each individual entry to read about delicious pasta.

You know what's really, really cool, Eljay?

SCIENCE.

>Eljay

Quick, name that game!

Our wedding bands came today!

The perfect tungsten carbide traditional domed plain bands, courtesy of a good deal on SparkleCartel.

Oh yeah, I'll take that 8.5-9.0 Mohs rating over gold any day.

Personally I think wedding bands MADE OF IRON would be a lot cooler.
Tungsten. What a pussy metal.
Tier list of metals:
god tier: iron
high tier: copper, bronze, steel, gold
shit tier: all else

Eljaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy I need help from somebody who knows shit about flowers.

Get violets and forget-me-nots you dumbshit. Jesus Christ, do I have to tell you idiots everything? Now I'm telling people how to get married. It's almost like they need more people with the answers and less people asking dumb ass questions on the internet or something.
WE NEED A WEDDING CEREMONY I NEED TO FEEL LIKE A PRINCESS
Jesus Christ I hate everything.

Check my fandoms, my favorite characters, the pairings I like the most, my kinks, my fictional crushes, anything. Now, in a friendly and possibly teasing way, point out the obvious and not so obvious trends or fetishes you see in my tastes.

I won't be doing this, but please, continue to waste my time.
Actually just kidding I have games to beta test and shit to do. Enjoy your shitty life and World of Warcraft, I guess. Meanwhile I'll be punching the fuck out of these Puks and beetles. ALSO MINING.
MINING ALL DAY ERREDAY
A DRILL THAT WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS~

:{

Oh my no this has to be the most pretentious thing I've read in recent memory, and that's saying a lot, because I attend college. She's some kind of something. I don't know. I thought she might be a Christfag but now I'm leaning more towards some kind of Pagan shit or something.

We all have to live with the choices we make.

Ironically, losing my job at Ritz gave me enough money to pay Pitt my enrollment deposit today. They had to pay me for all my unused vacation hours

PSEUDO-INTELLECTUAL BULLSHIT BLAH BLAH IRONICALLY BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

But my whole world has changed in the past 24 hours, my heart has been broken and I am beginning to regain clarity

k
One might wonder how you can "regain" clarity like it's some kind of finite resource but whatever I'm pretty much used to unquantifiable things presented in the form of numbers (oh hi RPGs)

He told me that my lease was automatically renewed for a month to month basis so whenever I need to move, I just need to let him know a month beforehand. This seemed like a sign. A reminder and a push to get moving.

THIS SEEMS LIKE A SIGN. I hate people who talk like this. Listen, unless you find yourself in some kind of Lord of the Rings setting it's not a fucking sign. YESTERDAY THREE CROWS FLEW OVER MY HEAD. WHAT DO YOU THINK IT MEANS? It must mean something-- that's an auspice if I've ever heard it!
No it doesn't fucking mean anything. The universe can't tell you anything because it's not a sentient being.

I had a very peaceful moment when we came across a little bridge over the lake in the middle of the forest. It was such a beautiful place and we were so surrounded by forest that we could not even hear civilization anymore. I sat down on the bridge and played my singing bowl and meditated for a few minutes.

Herp derp
Also I like how she tries to get away from civilization but winds up sitting on a bridge. Yeah that bridge got there through magic.

What I love about Jim is that he does not even question these things. He had no idea what I was doing or why but he respected me enough to sit down next to me and enjoy the sound and the moment of peace.

They break up a month later, incidentally.

Shortly after that, I saw a faerie mound in the middle of a sunlit glade and I pointed it out to him. He didn't understand what I meant so I explained what a faerie mound is and why it is important to the forest. He is Italian/Irish like I am and I think I brought some of his Irish blood to the surface yesterday.

All his Italian blood can do is join gangs, lose wars and make the most cholesterol-laden food imaginable (it's ok I have a really Italian last name I can make fun of Italy).

As I was walking away from the faerie mound, I was talking softly about the spirits of the forest and then I stopped short, feeling compelled to turn and look behind me. There, in a sunlit grove, was a fawn, watching us.
I took my camera away from my face and I stood there in stillness, gazing into the eyes of this elegant creature. In her eyes, I saw an old and ancient wisdom and understanding. I felt like she was trying to tell me something and for a few moments we just stood and looked into one another. The fawn and I, both young females, each of us red and white, graceful and beautiful, illuminated by the light that connected us.

Wow that was really douchey.
And it goes on, good Christ. Ten million pages later, a blurry picture of a fawn. Great, cool image broheim.

I'm hungry for knowledge.

Hungry for douchey knowledge, maybe. I always wondered who the fuck signed up for "humans and sexuality" and "music in society" and now I fucking know.
Oh boy poetry time.

The heart is the kingdom of the soul
the source of beauty
within us all
every moment
a network runs through
the electric impulse
of blood seeking
brain trusting

Holy fuck.

How often do you feel your brain working?

Well right now my brain is trying very hard to keep my throat from gagging at this pile of vomit you call poetry, so I guess too often.

I feel like I need them to judge me based more on my talent and less on my test scores and grades.

I'M REALLY TALENTED EVEN THOUGH MY TEST SCORES WOULD LEAD YOU TO BELIEVE I'M A NO TALENT HACK!
No but seriously it was smart to not include your "talent" CD of photography, because every picture I've seen of yours has been blurry as fuck.

At one point I discovered two lighters in my bra because that is the natural place for me to stick them when I am wearing a dress. One of them was Taylor's. I guiltily handed it over and he said "As a gay man, I'm not sure how I feel about that." and I told him, "its okay, it was only in the valley, it never touched the peaks." Everyone laughs and I take my bow and go back inside.

Lewd perhaps, but funny right? I crack myself up. Sometimes I am filled with outrageous self confidence and don't quite know where to put it.

You're not funny. You shouldn't be filled with confidence. Confidence without skill is conceit.
Also how the fuck do you "find" two lighters in your bra? Wouldn't you, I don't know, feel that at all times?

I haven't played this bowl in awhile, not in the city, it hums with a different voice depending on where it is played. In the forest I hear the elementals singing in the water and the wind and the root of the earth.

I have no idea what a singing bowl is.
More poetry I'm not reading.

Unlike many of my peers, I loved high school not for the friends or parties, but for what I learned there.

>learning
>high school
:3c
Holy shit I started doing something else and I just noticed I closed her blog. I guess entry over?

You sure do lead an ironic life

How many times should the word "ironically enough" appear in a blog? I'd argue 0 times because if it's truly (and humorously) ironic then the irony should be apparent from the situation. It's like when someone says "PUN INTENDED". When you have to point out that you did something clever or funny, you have already fucked up in exactly the same way as when you have to explain a joke.
So here we are, Mace's Thoughts.
Mace might be a guy named after a weapon or a girl whose full name is Macy, I don't know at this point.
Oh also Mace fancies himself (herself, whatever) a writer, as do all people on Livejournal. Writers, actors, directors, artists.

I started my story (or stories rather... or novels...whatever) a long time ago. First as shortstories, basically taking my first limps (I dare not call it steps) as a writer.

So whatever I don't really care how you decided you wanted to move from Harry Potter fanfiction to Bleach fanfiction.

At the end of my stint in that fantasy club, after much soulsearching, and realizing that German wasn't (ironically enough) my language when it came to writing (after all most of the books I was reading/am still reading are in English).

k

I never learned to learn, ironically enough.

That sure is ironic. At this juncture I'd like to make my typical statement that things that are interesting (to you, naturally, because it's stupid and boring to me) aren't automatically ironic. Irony has a fairly strict definition that you can't just apply to fill that void of "don't know what to say at this point". This shit doesn't even need qualification, actually. Surprisingly I'm not a complete illiterate and can follow your thoughts from one point to another.
Also "learning to learn" creates an impossible cycle of events. If you have to learn to learn, you could never learn to learn because you'd require the skill to acquire it.

When I didn't understand something I lost interest... unfortunately my mother (who incidentally is/was an elementary school teacher) told me she never had the force of will to get me to learn this stuff.

Oh, incidentally? Sure it's not ironically?

Last year, I met an old friend of mine whom I finished school with.

With whom I finished school* but whatever.

That's when I began to rewrite the novel again. Not everything, mind you, but those parts that were "wrong". No, I'm not going to detail every bloody thing (OK, I detail lots of bloody things, read gore) but with the alterations so far it feels even more alive. Also, I will restructurte the entire book.

Because details = showing and not telling, am I right?
Let's compare and contrast these:
The man happened into a room. There was a body in it.
The man happened into the room with the corpse. There was blood on the walls and a knife on the table.
Which is better? I'd argue they both suck, but I don't think I could argue the second one is less detailed than the first. Adjectives aren't the magic fix-all of storytelling, chief.

Amazingly enough people don't quit smoking because the price has gone up. The government is counting on that, ironically enough.

That damn government and their humorous ironies!
Now he's arguing the government wants the people to smoke so they can collect tax dollars on the cigarettes which is a brilliant hypothesis ignoring for the moment that I'm sure the hospital bills you assholes rack up with your cancer and shit outweighs the taxes the government collects, and being in Germany you have socialized medicine so the government foots 100% of that bill, so whatever.

Now there's a ton of entries I don't really understand because I'm not a fucking mental patient.
Given that I only gamed for 23 or so years, no, I'm no dinosaur of gaming...neanderthal of gaming maybe.

Nope definitely don't care about this.

yeah, well, I'm having a StarWars moment...trench and all that...

Ah?

Anyway, back to me book...yea there are kinks still....what? You thought I'm perfect?

I sure did, Mace!

or me being kwazy enough to send those 600+ manuscript pages via mail to some publishers...

Oh I'm sure they'll read all 600 pages and get right back to you (brotip: they chucked it without even looking at the title. Try sending a cover letter first).
Now here's a long post dealing with religion and it ends with him mentioning he's listening to "Cradle of Filth". Cool story, bro.

I also like magic-users to be more powerful than fighters.

Why?

Um... I dunno... cuz Merlin could hand Arthur his ass every day of the week?

Considering Excalibur (and the sheathe, more approximately) made him invincible I doubt it.
To make a long and stupid (and hard to follow at times) post shorter: it's called balance, bro. Not everyone is interested in your totally awesome wizard as you are.

and videogames in general bore me after a while (WoW lasted 7 months and that was that!).

>WoW
>video gamesNow there's 100000 entries about Dungeons and Dragons (not reading)
and that's the end of the blog. Well, Mace, thanks for keeping it real.

CUNTIEST CUNT UPDATE: AUGUST

Yeah you may have thought I forgot, but I certainly fucking didn't. Time to be mean to my favorite cunt in the world: THE MEANEST MOM (ALL CAPS POWERS ACTIVATE).
No specific reason this time, I just wanted to keep her in line. In case she started to think I forgot. Well I haven't.

If I were a Neanderthal, I would be a hunter-gatherer.

Implying if anyone was a Neanderthal they might not be a hunter-gatherer (brotip: they were a hunter-gatherer culture).

I found the shoes in the shoe department of all places...and they were even in a box!!!

Whew slow down, you're getting very technical. Okay, shoes in shoe department-- got it. Proceed.

After purchasing the shoes and taking them home, I realized that there was a good reason why they were so cheap.

"Those shoes are really ugly," my husband observed.

Wait stop. Sorry, can you go over this box business again?
To cut down on some bullshit dialog:

Searching 8,000 hours of security tape to verify a $10 purchase seemed like a reasonable request and a productive use of everyone's time, so I agreed.

:|

"This is going to take at least an hour," the man warned, clearly annoyed.

Ha, ha yeah working does suck when you have to deal with twats like this.

As I made my way to the shelf of unfolded towels, chipped serving platters, and ceramic Easter eggs, I began to have a change of heart. The shoes weren't that ugly. The more I looked at them, in fact, the more I started to actually like them.

Fifteen minutes later, I stopped by the return counter.

"Tell the manager that I've changed my mind," I told the woman. "I've decided to keep the shoes."

I would punch you in the solar plexus for this bullshit.

My husband and I took the kids to Baltimore for the weekend. The Orioles were playing our hometown team, the California Angels, and we thought it would be fun to go to a couple of the games.

Whatever, sports.

Kellen and Cortlen (age 5) were very interested in the activities on the field. Camber (age 6),

Hi just quoting this in case you forgot she was a cunt and named her kids the dumbest fuck names ever.

I already lost my driver's license. I have no earthly clue where it is or when in the past week it escaped me.

I was going to say something about this but I was distracted (then promptly forgot what I had to say) by the link. What the fuck is this? Why are all your posts linked together? Is someone really going to say "HEY WAIT EXPLAIN THIS DRIVER'S LICENSE BUSINESS TO ME!" Well here's an entry I wrote about it, inquisitive reader! Goddamn no one cares about your fucking license, lady.

When I was at the dollar store earlier this week, I spotted several bottles of name brand spray sunscreen. Since this stuff typically runs upwards of $9 per bottle, I swiped the whole lot into my shopping cart.

There's a reason it's at the dollar store.

As I was applying the bargain sunscreen to myself and to my children later that afternoon, I noticed that the substance had a distinct odor which I couldn't quite place...until one of my pool friends sniffed the air around me and asked, "Do you smell ant poison?"

No thought given to the safety of your children? Oh well whatever. Can't say I'm surprised with some of your earlier antics.

Last week, I got my license renewed at the DMV.

Hey guess what? Still don't give a shit. This is like fucking Green Eggs and Ham, Christ. No I do not care five minutes later, no I do not care on a train, plane or on the moon.

A large sign at the doorway instructed me to 1) take a number from a ticket dispenser and then 2) take a seat.

And before you ask someone and end up in an hour run around, yes the rules apply to you.

You will be proud to know that I waited a whole seven minutes before taking yet another number.

Thanks for screwing the process up for other assholes like me who only took one number, asshole.

On Tuesday, I had an interview to be a part-time literature instructor at a local community college. I prepared for the interview by watching The Bachelorette and rolling the lint brush over my only suit.

Oh I get it those things have nothing to do with getting ready for an interview.
Wow.
What the fuck has to be the matter with you where that passes for humor?

It's kind of scary to think who could be teaching you or your college-aged children.

Yeah it could be you. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

In my church, every person has an assignment or calling.

Oh oh I call crusader. I'll take the holy land back from those heretics.

A few weeks ago, I was 'promoted.' Instead of throwing dinner parties for the women's organization every two months, I now get to host activities for the tweens in my congregation every two weeks.

This is why I can never go to church. Too much bullshit and not enough armor.

More than a costume that resembles a green bean, I want something that makes my position of authority transparent to the world, or at least to a bunch of fourth and fifth graders...and their parents.

Again my wisdom knows no bounds. If you showed up in full plate there would be no question who's in charge.
Here's an entry entitled "Further Proof That my Ph. D. in Medieval Literature Did Not Prepare Me For the Real World" like there's any shock there.

Now there's a picture of a book written in medieval Latin. Big fucking deal.At this very moment, a steeply discounted blouse in a color that does not flatter my skin tone waits patiently for me in my e-shopping bag, unable to make the leap into a UPS box until I can decipher the company's security Sanskrit.

Of course one might argue that just because you can read Medieval Latin does not qualify you for anything but doing just that but whatever I am dealing with a self-entitled cunt here.

Like our outward bound flight, our flight home was jam packed. My family's popularity was confirmed when the very last passenger to board the plane was directed to our aisle. The lucky ducky this time around was a nineteen-year-old math prodigy named Jeff.

Nerd.

Through an extensive pre-flight debriefing, I learned that Jeff is from Philadelphia, took Calculus in the eighth grade, just finished his freshman year at M.I.T., and had spent the previous week at a math conference in Park City.

Yeah and I have my own blog.

As I learned during the second hour of the flight, Jeff also likes Japanese cartoons. I smiled when Jeff began watching an anime cartoon on his computer.

>anime cartoon
Redundancy but whatever.

I stopped smiling a few minutes later, however, when two of the cartoon characters started taking off their clothes.

Yeah they are prone to do that. Cultural values, etc.

My husband ignored the pilot's insistence to remain seated and swapped seats with our daughter while I stared at Jeff from an uncomfortably close distance until he closed his laptop lid.

I'm sure she expects me to take sides in this but I hate all parties involved.

We had just read a book about warty trolls, and when the spots appeared, everyone began to eye Kellen suspiciously.

"One of us is turning into a troll," Cortlen announced authoritatively. "And it's not me."

Being an internet troll I happen to be an expert on trolls.

"It's in your genes, what can I say?" I told him. Although I lack fleshy growths, I do have several other defining characteristics of the mythical beast including a surly temperament, mood swings, and a large nose.

Also regenerative powers and weakness to fire.

Have you ever stayed at someone's house who abides by a completely different moral code than you?

No.
Also before you get butthurt: not everyone is obligated to think like you.
All right so I think this entry is done. I HOPE YOU LEARNED YOUR LESSON, CUNT.
YEAAAAAAAAAAAH NOBODY FUCKS WITH THE WHIZ.

Let's post about anime!

Just got level 30 warrior in FFXI today, which means some mad attack bonus, new armor and additionally dodge and some other shit by virtue of monk subjob, so today is pretty fucking awesome. Way better, in fact, than anything else anyone can come up with, which in this case involves anime and dolls and possibly the Japanese language (日本語) (translator's note: 日本語 means Japanese language).
So here we have Spiderling or something, click or don't.

Congratulate me! I am now one 250 Gig external hard drive ridher and about $70 poorer.

Just found a 1 TB external for 90 bucks, you got ripped off. I didn't even look for a deal, either, I just went to Newegg > external hard drive. Also before anyone comes up with a flimsy excuse of "maybe she doesn't have 90 dollars, maybe she only has 70" I found a 250 GB one for 50 bucks, so whatever white people.
Also I'd wager an internal hard drive would serve her equally well in her situation but she is no good at computer to know how to install that (it is a little tricky I'll give it to her, I needed help my first time installing one).

I have decided to take backing up a littl emore seriously!

Oh God, what?

I tried to save my Art Docs file from my art computer on a 4 gig flash drive but no go! I needs more storage than that. Lots more apparently. If the 250 gig doesn't hack it I shall cry! But it ought too! I mean jeez!

What the fuck do you mean "ought to"? It's not a sentient being. It's not like if it tries harder it'll store more. Either 250 GB is enough or it isn't.
Also what the dick art documents are you saving that are more than 4GB? They're pictures, for Christ's sake. Even in the off chance you're saving a ton of PDFs I know for a fact a 250 page book in PDF format is like 80 MB, so you've fucked up somewhere. Unless you're like my FFXI Linkshell and enjoy saving pictures at obscenely (25000x30000) high resolutions.

Well, been a awhile since I talked dolls huh? I can hardly beleive it!

While I'm sure my mom would enjoy this talk I don't actually have a vagina (although I've eluded to things earlier, like watching American Idol, that might suggest otherwise) so I think I'll pass.

Why do authors give a character a name and then AUTOMATICALLY call them by a nickname??

Perhaps because real people often have nicknames and authors try to make their characters as realistic as they can so as to create a more interesting story? You know, people tend to be more interested in situations they can relate to.

Just name them the fucking nickname or use their full name!

All right I'm going to explain this slow using real world examples so you can understand how nicknames work. I'm sure I've said my name here before. It's Tim. Well that's not actually my name, see, it's actually Timothy, but people refer to me (and indeed I respond to) Tim.
My parents could have named me just Tim, I'm sure, but they didn't, because as is often the case people pick names with history attached to them.

I can't think of a single character of mine that had a snappy (in the author's mind) creative (also ONLY IN THE AUTHORS HEAD) nickname. Priscilla was NEVER called Priss.

Of course you could pick better names than Priscilla but fine whatever. This is such a non-issue I can't even believe she's still talking about it (or me, for that matter).

But seriously! I 'm so sick of it. Why even give your character what is to your mind, a creative name and then give them a stoopid nickname, thereby completely subverting the original "creative" (sarcastic air quotes) name??? Do you think you're being clever? Is there an actual physical 'teehee' moment where you are amazed by your own cleverness?

Son of a fuck, what? Maybe it's just because I never read any book written after 1800 but I never encounter this problem.

But so far I have maybe- cute mythological girls??? Like a kawaii Medusa which I have a total obssession with.

>kawaii Medusa
>kawaii
>Medsua
>kawaii Medusa
(translator's note: kawaii means cute)
I can't believe what I just fucking read. Cute Medusa. She has snake hair, woman.
Also she gets decapitated by Pereus (fuck year Perseus). OH BUT YOU WOULDN'T KNOW ABOUT THAT BECAUSE IT'S JUST NOT KAWAII ENOUGH (or at all, for that matter).

Oh! Amusing con faux pas-

Here's your convention faux pas: going to one.

SO- ideas? Anyone? Dover seems to have covered everything at least twice, but so far NONE of their artists are like me so I think I may have a chance at this.

NO GO AWAY.

Today I went swimming then did almost 2 miles on the treadmill. That isn't really as impressive as it sounds.

It doesn't sound impressive, either. Two miles, whoop-de-shit.

I walked for only 40 min. including cool down.

Walked for forty minutes as a function of running 2 miles? Or is this in addition to? If it's part of, then you are seriously fucking slow. That's at least 20 minutes a mile.

Swag- I got some free books. But I have to say I think the publishers were a little stingy. On Sunday they were handing books out only to kids! WTF? Oh well.

They let children go to conventions (also known as NAMBLA meetings)? Now nothing can go wrong!

The Family Guy panel was cool and they showed a long clip from their Empire Strikes Back parody episode. SOOOOO FUNNY! OMG!

Family Guy and funny in the same sentence.
No.

So my fashion question is: Is wearing a dress over pants still verboten or is it okay??

I always thought girls looked stupid wearing that combo so I'm going to say yes. Yes it is.

I just happened across a post which mention how obnoxious all the Airbender fans were being about the movies cast so I looked up the cast list. Not thrilling really so I see their point but everyone is condemning the movie before they've seen it. It could be good.

Reason is the bane of conviction, as they say.

I hate new words replacing already servicable words that have been in place fore AGES, except everyone acts like the new word somehow describes A NEW IDEA, when infact it's an old idea which already HAS a word to describe it. Case in point TROPE.

>Trope
>from Ancient Greek "tropos"
>new word
:3

Someone who I think very obviously wants to show off how bloody smart they think they because THEY read the dictionary.

Someone's jealous. Also it's an old word. Very old. ALSO THE DICTIONARY ENTRY YOU ARE NOW QUOTING FROM HAS IT AS ENTERING THE ENGLISH LEXICON IN 1533. YOU HAVE DEFEATED YOUR POINT IN YOUR OWN POST YOU TWIT.

I am a pretty smart person of decent education and I have never heard the word 'trope' until LAST WEEK when I saw it twice.

Oh well if you haven't heard the word it must be stupid. I bet you don't know any other language besides English (and pretend Japanese) so I guess that makes all languages not Japanese and English stupid, huh?

And as described- tropes are CONVENTIONS.

Actually if you had bothered to read any part of the dictionary entry YOU LINKED you'd know a trope is a cliche (or alternatively a verse added as an embellishment to the sung part of Mass during the Dark Ages, which is how I learned this word originally).
Now she posts pictures of her "book haul" which is probably why she's a pleb because this is a lot of garbage. Trash serials, I see some animu books that aren't Fist of the North Star, very disappointing.
Now she's posting some dolls which if she painted the faces for I'm mildly impressed. So she must not have, do ho.

Guess who got their rockin' pronstar body today??? EISHETH that's who!!!

Eisheth. Eist-- no, how do you pronounce that? I'm not often confounded by pronounciation (as the only person I know of who knows how to pronounce Einherjar correctly [it's not ein-her-jar]) but this has me for a loop. Eis-heth? Is the h silent? Ei-sheh-th? What in the fuck?

Lately I've been reading a lot. I read Persuassion and Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austin,

Persuasion*, Christ. Learn the title of what you're reading. It's by Jane Austen (e not an i like the city).
That's okay because halfway through the post "Persusassion" becomes "Pursiassion" so I'm sorry about jumping your shit about "Persuassion" when it gets a lot worse down the line.

Brett and I may start a webcomic!! YAYS! Although neither of us can code html so I've been eyeballing Drunk Duck as a place to host it.

Starting a website without knowing the foundations of website programming. No, no problems here. She then later reports she won't be learning HTML and since I never heard from this webcomic after this point in time I'm guessing it didn't go so well.
Also for your approval I found (and by "found" I mean "saw a link at the top") her Etsy shop. So you may now judge her artwork. I found this one in particular to be horrific. Ignoring for the moment it's furry, that has to be the longest torso and upper arm I've ever seen in my fucking life, goddamn. Well whatever if I keep this shit up I think I'm going to piss myself (literally) so I'm going to go do something that lets me retain bladder control.

Oh God what do I do?

Today the god of Livejournal has deigned to give me TWO possible candidates instead of the typical "sit here for half an hour and maybe there will be one" bullshit. WHAT DO I DO!?
This blog has longer entries... Yeah I guess I'll go with this one. RussellB, you're lucky.
First thing: maybe it's my allergy addled eyes, but I can barely read this fucking font. Is black font on a white background (or white font on a black background) that much of a problem for you people?
I guess so.

I just had the most beautiful picture put into my head. i was in the amazing forest with green all around and waterfuls and flowers. it was breathtaking.

Waterfuls. That's not even a word. I think anyone reading this knows me well enough to know how this thought is going to end.
Will she move on to talk about:
A. fucking
B. writing fanfiction
C. furfaggotry
D. Jesus
E. All of the above
Well if you picked "E" you'd be dead fucking wrong. Never pick all of the above. It's almost guaranteed to be the wrong answer.
The right answer was D.

I was running and i just imagined myself jumping as high as i could and not knowing where i would land. then at just the last second i was caught by Jesus and held like a little child.

Wow Jesus is pretty fucking strong to heft that much weight around. (P.S. I'm implying you're fat) (P.P.S. I know by your picture that you aren't, I was just being mean :3)

i will fall time and time again but it seems i'll always be caught just before i hit the ground.

Oh that's a risk I like to take when I'm falling. "It seems like this parachute will deploy." I suppose she doesn't mean literally falling but a metaphorical fall symbolizing mankind's Fall.

life is beautiful and i'm in love living it for the one who made it so. forget fear. forget change. forget the past. forget worry. forget whatever people decide to do.

Forget change? What if it's good change? I'm also purposefully ignoring the incredibly poor grammar in the second part of the first sentence.

i know what i'm supposed to do and where i'm supposed to go and thats all that matters.

That reminds me of something on my campus: The Campus Crusade for Christ, which makes me a little nervous, personally. Maybe I'm the only one who actually knows what you Christfags did the last time you had a crusade, but suffice it to say, I'm watching you. Scum.

i avoid confrontation and seeing people in pain breaks my heart. i also hate losing people.

Is that right? Well, you're a Christfag, so you must be familiar with the Bible, yes? Then, I have a book in that Bible for ye: The Book of Job. The Book of Job is probably my all time favorite because it shows not only what an awesome troll Satan is, but also what a fucking psychopath God is.
Here's what your favorite mythological character thinks of you:

And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.

So there it is, he's going to do whatever the fuck he wants to anyway so why bother praying?
Oh boy it's my favorite time of the day: shitty poetry time.

I’ve always longed for a fairy tale
Maybe part of me never quite grew up
Perhaps I never really wanted to
It’s possible that reality and I will never coexist
I’ll stay here in my land of magic and wonder
Til’ the world fades away to eternity
Those of the world call me naïve
Others still a fool, but I tend to disagree
What’s foolish about believing in the impossible?
Why build a world on a notion of despair?
I’ve built my world on a foundation of rock
Fortified by faith, hope, and an amazing love
It’s something that won’t crumble with the unattainable
My world won’t shatter when I dare to dream
Perhaps it’s not a conventional tale to tell
Though perhaps that’s the best kind to express
For somewhere in this world that discourages all but reality
I’ve found a fairy tale complete with all I ever dreamed of

Further proving that poetry is regular sentences with random line breaks.
Oh another poem, but it's more of a riddle, so let's try to figure out who this person could possibly be.

They named him condemned

Despite the love in his eyes

They turned away

Despite the tears in his eyes

As they made their choice

So far I'm going to guess Gary Glitter.

So there he stood

Friend and brother

Ridiculed, betrayed

Leaving behind him

A trail of blood and tears

Leaving behind him a trail of blood and tears-- still going with Gary Glitter.

He named them forgiven

Despite the piercing nails

He never strayed

Despite the cross he was given

To save the undeserving

Oh, no, wait I know this one. Don't tell me-- is it Osiris?

There he stood

Friend and Savior

Risen, glorified

Shining with the light

Of his father in Heaven



They named him condemned

He named them forgiven

Yeah, definitely going with Osiris. I thought it might have been Gary Glitter at first, but I'm settling on Osiris now.
Okay there's another riddle afoot, and this time I don't think the answer is Gary Glitter OR Osiris.

"i love you for you
not for who you were
not who for will be
i love you for who are
in this very moment"

So whoever this person is doesn't love me for who I was or not who for will be (what) but for what I am THIS VERY MOMENT. Nope don't care this is stupid.

the only moment that is gaurenteed is the one i'm living in.

Guaranteed* and that's right: YOU COULD DIE AT ANY MINUTE!

well its a rainy day and i feel like i got a lot to say (and that totally rhymed booyah!)

when you compare my problems to those around me it's like i'm living the dream.

Well that's some dumb logic because compared to a billionaire your life is shit.

i have an unbelievable amount of hope. so therefore i believe in the unseen and hope for better days.

Yes, hope. Such a useful and worthwhile emotion. A lot of people are convinced you need hope to make life tolerable, but I completely disagree. Life is plenty interesting (and entertaining) when you trust that everything will go wrong. Just don't be down about it and it'll still be hilarious. Not "ha ha" hilarious, but kind like a black comedy. That's not to say you should be an emocunt about it and be completely hopeless, just don't fucking think about it. Although it is best to assume the worst is yet to come.

and sometimes it takes a lot of really bad shit (pardon my language) to make you realize that you just can't do it on your own.

PARDON HER LANGUAGE, GUYS. SHE'S JUST KEEPING IT REAL. I bet she paused for a moment after typing "shit" and wondered if she should edit that out. Well guess what: shit fuck cunt. No one cares on the internet.

i'm not ignoring my life. i'm living it for someone else.

Sounds healthy.

thats the beauty of faith, you always have something to hope for.

Even if you have to trick yourself into believing there's something to hope for. No, sounds great. Live a perpetual lie and ignore everything contrary to your favorite fairy tale.

i can do all things through Him who strengthens me :-).

i heard a story about a man who bought a car. When he brought the car home he discovered that it wasn't running right. He checked the owner's manual to see what could be the problem. The manual told him to check and make sure there was oil in the car. When he checked he discovered that there indeed was no oil in the car. The manual told him to put oil in the car if he wanted it to work. He scoffed at this "who are you to tell me what to do with MY car. i'll do what i want with it." so he decided to put honey in his car instead. When he tried to turn the car on it wouldn't work much to his amazement. the author of the owner's manual knew what was best for the car. he wrote it so the car would run right not so the man would have a set of rules that he had to live by.

God didn't give us rules to limit us. He gave us the bible to follow because He created us. He knows what causes us to run well and what causes us to break.

Except logically this man would have no reason to assume honey would make his car run. There's an objective truth to be had here. Honey does not make cars run. The Bible, however, is frequently (always) wrong on scientific (objective) issues (rabbits do not chew cud, bats are not birds, whales are not fish, the mustard seed is not the smallest seed in the world, the earth isn't flat, space isn't filled with water, etc) and as a moral (subjective) guide it's quite frequently, well, amoral. Like the part where it tells you to stone a disobedient child, or kill all witches (well that part I think we can all agree with).
That's not to say the Bible is completely faulty, though. There are some good lessons to be had, but those are so few and far between barbaric, bronze age reasoning that it's hardly worth reading. In fact, as a moral guide, things like the Iliad and the Odyssey are not only better written (truth) they're also of superior moral fiber because they don't condone beating children and stoning witches.

im trying to be patient but i'm not very good at it. i wonder if i hadn't prayed for patience if i wouldn't be given oppurtunities to be patient? who knows. point is i'm tired of waiting for whats gonna happen to happen.

Tired of waiting to become patient. Sounds like you have a patience problem.

i want to know what people really think. i'm tired of fluff and superficial conversations.

Ha, ha, no you don't. A lie is always preferrable to the truth. As H.P. Lovecraft said: "The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents."
Well that's it. I'm bored and you're a cunt, so~

You're a what?

A shaman? Isn't that a class in World of Warcraft?
Well, whatever. Keep it away from me and we'll get along just fine.
Oh, you won't shut up about this. We have a problem, then, friend.
So one quick look at the paradoxical imagery here (we have Egyptian, Meso-American, Zoroastrian, and what I perceive to be Mithras, but that might be Bast since the picture is bullshit tiny) on the same page, so OH GOOD, SOMEONE WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT.

While I am not an advocate of recreational drug use, I believe that the use of plants considered sacred for religious purposes is a whole different thing.

Uhh, how would you enforce that? How could you make certain people were only doing drugs for religious purposes? Also which religions? Can I make up a religion? If not, isn't that discrimination?

Shamans know (or are supposed to know) the proper amounts to use, the possible side effects, and what measures must be taken should anything go awry. They also have a purpose for its use, other than just to get high or buzzed.

I see. So as long as the drug has a purpose outside of getting high (again, how can you tell?) it's okay? What if, take for example, I get really blitzed and only whilst blitzed can I write? Does that condone drug use?

I'm more than halfway through Harner's book, The Way of the Shaman, and it's actually a lot different than I expected. Some things make total sense, while others infuriate me.

THIS BOOK DOES NOT AGREE WITH MY THINKING SO IT THEREFORE ANGERS ME! You religious sorts are all the same.

I HATE all the references to "primitive" cultures.

Stone age is primitive compared to our modern society. I don't give a shit about your logic or "how long it took them to progress that far" beating out tools from stones is fucking primitive.

In one place he used the term "low-technology culture"... that's GREAT, he should have used that throughout the book instead of the other one. It's more specific and more accurate anyway, and makes sense to most people without making them feel superior.

I don't feel superior for living in a society that's more advanced than the stone age, because I know in 2000 years I'll look like the primitive. It's how time moves, fagit.

In the chapter on retrieving power animals, he makes a big point of telling you to stay away from insects.

Power animals... Like the Thunder Cats?

Now, most people tend to think of spiders as insects, so if I had done that, I would have run away from Tarantula instead of developing a wonderful relationship with her.

Her? Uh-oh. Also, arachnids aren't insects. Insects have six legs, arachnids have eight.

One of my coven sisters called me to tell me she had fallen again this morning.

>Coven sisters

She has fibromyalgia and a few other physical challenges, and walks with a cane.

Oh so the follower of a fictional deity has a fictional malady as well? (BURN).

As she was talking, I suddenly got this vision of her hand on the cane handle -- just a closeup of that, nothing else. It was very strong, and stayed in front of me as she talked.

A vision sounds so mystical and supernatural. I call those "sudden images in my head" thoughts. Might want to look into having one sometime. Then maybe you wouldn't be such a gullible twat who buys wholesale into any religion as practiced by stone age primitives who had no other means of explaining natural phenomena. Seriously, call it what you will, it's all superstitious conjecture. Not only is it conjecture, it's conjecture you can never prove, so you might as well be arguing about Thunder Cats or World of Warcraft. It all serves about the same purpose.

I told her she needed to tell the doctor to test her hands. She was totally amazed, and honestly, so was I.

Great. Modern medicine and science can pack it up and call it a day, we have a shaman on the field.

I believe that my spirit guides were telling me where the problem is. Of course, I won't know for sure until she gets test results, but I will stake my (non-existent) reputation as a shaman that I'm right. Now, I have no idea WHAT the problem is, but considering I've only just begun on this path as a serious student, I'm not real worried about that.

Ha, ha, wait, let me see if I understand this. You ask someone how their hands are, and they respond that they're having problems gripping large objects, they shake too much, and they hurt, and you'll stake your reputation there's something wrong there? Wow, what a risk taker!
Also thanks for that medical diagnosis. Your spirit guides are a great help. WHEN YOUR HANDS HURT THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG BUT I CAN'T IDENTIFY WHAT THAT IS!
I think I see why the average life expectancy 3000 years ago was 35.

However, when we know more about it, I will offer to do a healing journey if she wants, which I think she will.

So you use your super shaman powers to identify that there is a problem, then you allow modern medicine to identify the problem (something you couldn't hope to guess) and then when they give you the answer, you'll attempt to heal her? With what? Sorcery? Shaman powers?

She's asked me to come up tonight (we both live in the same complex) and help her do a healing spell. I think I'll bring up my spirit bag and ask if I can invite my animal spirits to join us. That should be some powerful spell!

I was just kidding about the sorcery thing, really. I didn't know she was actually fucking serious.
Now she posts a really long topic about what Inuit people believe, and apparently they believe in the Warp from Warhammer (awesome).

Over the past year or so, I've been collecting tools and 'things' for my ritual room that are very different from the Wiccan and Goddess-based tools and decorations I've been using for years.

oh THE Goddess. Which goddess is that? Face it, kid, you've been following the debased practices of the Greeks, decided that wasn't edgy enough anymore, so now you're following a debased version of Native American religions.
Also I'd bet a million dollars the goddess she's referring to is Hecate, a footnote in Greek mythology.

"Hecate, light the path before me.
Odin, send your ravens to show me the Way I must travel.

Hecate is Greek, Odin is Norse-- I'm guessing there'd be a language barrier.

I've come to the conclusion that no one actually knows what happens after we die... and THAT'S OK.

Probably nothing. The end.

~Work on Crete-Egypt connection research (includes Linear A research)

Ha, ha, yeah, you'll decode that Linear A, something people with actual knowledge and education have failed to do for 70 years. You should get right on that.
Linear A, if you didn't know, is an ancient writing form that is essentially early Greek, and no scholar knows what any of it really means.
So now she has an extended dialog with Odin, and she's serious. This isn't a story or anything, she, through some sort of hallucination, thinks she spoke with Odin. It's a real casual conversation where he helps her with her problems and shit.
I don't know if she's familiar with the mythology of Odin, but I'd be shitting my pants.
Odin is kind of a dick, let's be honest. I don't think he'd be interested in your stupid problems, woman.
Now there's a long post that implies she has a child who is now 17. I cannot believe she is that old. A child who is 17. This is seriously surprising. I would have guessed, for sure, I was ganging up on a 15 year old.

This is fine, since I'm mainly doing it for the money and for experience to put on my resume (or vita, as we academics call it).

"We" academics. Tell me, what is your expertise?

Tarot for the Day - Aloneness (Osho Zen Tarot)

>Zen
>Tarot
So what does Egyptian mythology, American mythology, Tarot, Zen, Greek mythology AND Norse mythology have in common?
Absolutely nothing. You're fucking insane.
Well that's it. This is mad fucking boring.