i feel dead
No one wishes it to be true more than me right now.
im living through movie goggles. everyone knows the feeling. I'll wake up soon.
I'm going to be honest here, I have no clue what you mean. I've never heard of "movie goggles" in my life. Do you mean you feel like you're in a movie? Are you perhaps mixing the concept of a movie with beer goggles? No, no I don't give a shit. You're an idiot, and I'm not going to sit here and decipher your fucking scribbles.
friday was the only really fun day.
gr.
At least you had Friday. Look not to what you want, look to what you already have.
so 2day after school while driving home Alex asked me 2 come pick her up & i obliged.
So far her grammar and spelling have been okay (comparatively) here begins the bad.
then i headed home 4 a nap. woke up hr later-->belly dancing-->bored again.
Oh belly dancing. Your parents are raising a real whore, huh?
AP exams?! nahh. SAT saturday...havent studied at ALL.
Gooooood.
Im physically deprived.
Hmm.
Somehow, with all the talk of belly dancing lessons and a later nugget (to be shared momentarily) I seriously, seriously doubt you're being deprived.
but very satisfied in every other way possible.
Well thank God for that.
except for uncertainty.
I QUITE MY JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FINALLY!! sooooo happy/relieved/rejuvenated!!
Hey how about that! She "quite" her job!
now i need a new one. i love money. & am goin 2 Italy/Greece verrrrrry soon!
Well my goodness, you certainly are being deprived! Italy and Greece! I hope you learn much during your travels. I understand they're, what was that again? The cradle of Western civilization, or something... Nah, that wouldn't really interest you. I'm sure you'll go clubbing and end up vomiting on some Alexandrian back alley. Dumb cunt.
but prostitutes get more respect than i got.
Well say something I consider respectable and you'll have my respect. So far it's not looking good.
In fact, I'm throwing down the gauntlet. One fucking thing that doesn't make you a vapid whore and I'll end this entry right now.
last night went 2 Mimi's w/Josh & the famille-->dropped off applications-->he had 2 go home 2 do hw & sleep. i need 2 get over jealousy issues cause he's supa perfect. i just wish i turned him on lmao.
Ever notice how, when someone ends their own post in "lol" or "lmao" it's never funny?
therefore i proceeded to go 2 my dadda's.
No, "therefore" implies the previous action caused-- never mind. Of all the issues here, that's not the one I'm picking out.
where i proceeded to call Helen 4 instructions on how 2 light. uhhhhh im really that stupid.
I think you're being too hard on yourself. Up until now I reckoned you for a regular genius.
Now im goin 2 go join my drunken family w/some green melon & vodka cause that's the best kind of community functions...nah i drink aloneeeeeeeeeee=)
I had something to say about this but I forgot what it was. I think this blog is making me retarded.
"goin 2"
Going to.
yes, it is cheesy, yes it is silly, but I'm going 2 try to give him a ring .. & basically say that in 2 yrs i hope 2 still be with him.
please don't give me negative judgment on this one.
I don't care what you do. Give him a ring, don't give him a ring-- doesn't affect me.
i also think ive been classically conditioned by him.
Just like Pavlov's famous dogs.
like in clockwork orange, i get a little nauseaus if i think of something perverted..but im chemically conditioned to love=)
I'm glad to see you grasp the important themes of A Clockwork Orange. (Brotip: this implies he held you against your will and forced you to love him).
i feel like a whore. an undeserving confused whore.
At least you know it.
then everything changed, i became a statistic w/out realizing it.
What?
Oh, I'm guessing someone slipped her a roofie or something.
i thought i was different than everyone but i got lost & stupid. i had a little fun along the way, but i became a monster that I don't recognize.
Or no?
Also, yeah, you're a special princess and everyone just adores you. You still fucking think this, don't lie to me. You're just saying all this shit so people will confirm that you are indeed special. You had a moment of doubt, you thought maybe perhaps you've never had your own thoughts or felt a genuine emotion, so that moment of doubt lead to a moment of panic and you post this. Your mom finds you crying in your darkened room with Fallout Boy playing. Not being one to pay attention to those miserable urchins she squirted out, she's going to try for the good mother routine here.
Instead of dispensing actual motherly advice, though, she just soothes away your fleeting misery so you can retreat into your disgusting habits.
I'm not impressed, Rachel11042.
You're not special. You're not unique.
But that's okay, shit. I'm not either. No one is. Such is life.
he wanted 2 wait til marriage.
the end.
fml.
he still "loves" me.
but i dont know him.
Whoa, okay, kids. I think you got the roles backwards. You're supposed to want to "save yourself", and he's the one that's supposed to pressure you into sex by saying "well you'd do it if you really loved me." Your life reads like a bizarro Lifetime movie script.
& i just called Hard Rock, I am old enough, their sold out.
They're*
one day when im living in Kenya ill slap myself for getting irritated over minuscule things, as for just this brief moment on the vast scale of existence, im a little disappointed.
"I'm a little disappointed" pretty much summarizes my feelings towards you, and I don't even know you.
No, that's not fair. That implies there's something to be disappointed about. This is what I'd expect from your kind.
You might refer to it as "clingy". I call it trying to care.
Life is perfect.
It is? Let me ask you that again when you're "living in Kenya" (I didn't even get into that before because I didn't want to know).
But every time the drill starts to chip the glass (metaphorical glass around the box that holds the heart duh...)
Gross.
Basically there is nothing wrong, life is better than anyone deserves, & I just feel bad that I'm an obligation that he has to tend to everyday when he could be doing hw.
Jesus Christ you say you feel bad like you're not absolutely in control of your own actions. I don't even know what "life is better than anyone deserves" has to do with anything else you're talking about. It's like you're so terrified of something being less than good that you just throw these bizarre self help book slogans in and they don't even make sense in context (or out of context, no one "asks" to be alive, so it's not a matter of deserving, it's just what happens).
drove new route 2 Josh's for QUICK kiss, cause he's in IB!!!!!!!! fuck IB shit fuck it, its silly & makes him stressed. Therefore i dont like it.
Yes, trying to improve yourself and get ahead in life sure is silly.
Also he is taking the same classes as me but his are soooo much harder, i looked at his textbooks their pretty legit! but im satisfied with my slacker school, ha for 31 more days!!!
That's all=)
Life is grand, just SOO grand.
I cut a paragraph. I suspect life maybe wouldn't be SOO (two Os) grand if you actually had some, I don't know... Adversity in your life. Maybe stop slacking so much and try at something for once?
Maybe you've never done it before so I'll explain what it feels like. Life is still pretty great, actually, and you get the added satisfaction of having accomplished something. Like take me, for instance. I just finished a seven page essay. Yeah, not very long, but it still feels good now that it's done.
But you seem the type who, when you finally realize this, start thinking what you've accomplished means something to anyone. I know fully well I only wrote that essay for my own benefit.
but he was happy playing video games so thats important. & trunking although the STUPIDEST thing i have EVER done was enjoyable for him..
This bro is trying desperately to get away from this gash by playing the Halo (and it is Halo, no way he'd play something manly like Dawn of War). I don't think it's working.
& now i have a silly english paper. poop.
Maybe if you actually tried on this instead of dismissing it as "silly" you wouldn't have the grammatical skills of a first grader (I'm not exaggerating, I knew most of these errors she makes by heart by second grade).
more like her downing my choice to convert to Judaism when i turn 18.
Don't you need to learn Hebrew to do that? That uses a different alphabet than English, reads right to left... No, no, you barely speak English. Don't kid yourself, this isn't happening.
SUCH AS: went 2 gym 2day, did hw in less than 10 minutes, volunteering on Sunday w/Josh for EARTH DAY at Nature's Classroom, & Big Brother's Big Sister's because although being a workholic is profitable i get nothing from it anymore but resentment & contempt for the American population that waste money 2 get "perfect" teeth in hopes of improving themselves.
Taking this slow, word by word, and I'll get through this.
She went to the gym. She did her homework (presumably) in less than 10 minutes. She volunteered on Sunday with Josh for Earth Day at Nature's Classroom (whatever that is) and Big Brothers and Sisters (?). Now she's a workaholic (har har) and that's profitable (ok) but she gets nothing from it anymore but resentment and contempt (contempt being a good emotion to feel, particularly towards her) from the American population that wastes money to get perfect-- no, no this doesn't make any sense at all! I would argue dental surgery isn't a waste of money, but maybe that's just me.
Sorry for the rant but im bored out of my mind have nothing productive to busy myself with!!
A common theme in her posts, but oh-- whoa sorry I ended up doing some other shit for about two hours.
Well I guess I'm done here--
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