Oh right, hi. I beat the odds. I got into the FFXIV beta so that's why my entry is a little late. It was an epic struggle (literally. I don't mean "lol epic xD" I mean this story is literally worthy of song) but what can I say? It was an easy matter for one of my skill. Basically it involved paying seven bucks for a chance (a chance, mind, but when my chance is 100% I'll take it) and waiting. I waited for two days, basically.
Then when the flood gates opened I was one of probably less than 50 people out of thousands to EMERGE VICTORIOUS.
Anyway here we have someone who claims their skills are great but they are clearly mistaken. I found this blog on Fatshionita (see what they did there). Fat girls into fashion, heh.
So I was mildly bored by last night's True Blood, even though tons of important stuff was happening, and then suddenly came the last five minutes when Russell Edgington abruptly became the awesomest thing in the history of television and totally pwned everything that has ever existed.
I'd get on your shit about "awesomest" and "pwned" but let me tell you what isn't boring: FFXIV. Everything that abortion of an entry XIII should have been and more and it isn't even out yet.
He's about to come pick me up and we're gonna go through the Starbucks drive-through.
It bears mentioning that Starbucks uses real cream in their coffee. Just a thought for why you weigh 500 pounds. Also the smithing mini game in FFXIV makes absolutely no fucking sense. I don't get this.
I am going to once attempt to listen to an audiobook while I make the eight-hour drive home to Janesville.
I wish Lance Henriksen would record an audio book. Tell me he couldn't make even Stephen King listenable. Him or Mickey Rourke, hmm.
It is so beautiful outside that it is almost physically painful for me to be sitting here in my windowless office. It is 75 degrees with a clear blue cloudless sky and a light breeze. It's making me ache.
Hmm that must be really tough. I'm guessing the reason you're in pain is because you are 300 pounds overweight and your heart doesn't have any room to beat anymore.
What do you think, should I level lancer or marauder next? Lancer looks promising.
We often say that everyone's good at something. Everyone has a skill set. Generally when we say that, we're talking about the Big Skills.
My craft is mental illness. Who else could sit there for 5 hours doing nothing but refreshing Twitter? Never again, incidentally. If I see that dumb fucking Twitter icon again in my life it'll be too soon.
Then I unraveled the secret: just camp their forums and when the admin posts click the "claim beta code" button over and over and don't give a single fuck about loading times and all that shit.
I'm good at ironing.
Yeah. I know. Ironing? It's true.
IRONING? BUT ONLY ONE PERSON HAS EVER BEEN GOOD AT THAT SKILL-- Jeeesus Christ.
Saturday afternoon I went in search of a tank top and some jewelry to wear with a new dress. Then I had a massage.
Massaging fat deposits.
someone's mom had made all this super awesome vegan food including dairy-free ice cream in flavors like wasabi and peppercorn basil
wasabi ice cream. What the fuck is wrong with people?
Okay, guys. I need the wisdom of the flist! I need some new tunes for the exercise playlist.
I don't know, somehow exercising after eating gallons of wasabi flavored ice cream hardly seems like a reasonable solution to losing weight.
So since I am clueless, I must come to you to find out what have been the big popular club/dance hits this summer? I've already got that Flo Ride "The Club Can't Handle Me" song. Lately I've been listening to Taio Cruz's "Break Your Heart" a lot.
I hear all you kids like Kajagoogoo's "Too Shy" or perhaps Dead or Alive's "You Spin Me Round". Those are popular in the dance clubs with you kids, right?
What songs should I be dling for the Pod?
ETA: I wrote this two hours ago and then went off to do other things.
Billie Jean is another good choice. Or how about Def Leppard's Armageddon It? That was a big hit on this blog last entry.
I'm about to go all science geeky on yo ass. Be warned.
There are a number of concepts in chemistry which are super useful shorthand for regular life.
Oh yeah? Chemistry is useful in every day life? How so, Bill Nye?
The first is activation energy. Basically this is the energy barrier you must overcome to do a chemical reaction. The driving force behind pretty much everything in the universe is that Low Energy Is Better And More Stable, as anyone who's ever spent a Saturday afternoon on a couch can tell you. So you've got some starting materials, happy and content and stable and relatively low energy.
BORING LET'S SET OFF A VOLCANO INSTEAD. Baking soda + vinegar =
See it's the same principle only a lot more interesting than you being boring for ten paragraphs about shit I learned in high school.
You'll all be SO relieved to know that my second attempt at styling my hair as well as my hairdresser does was much more successful.
I know it's impossible to hear sarcasm over the internet but I'm just going to pretend you're being sarcastic.
I'm sure you've been on the edge of your seats, dying to know what's going on with my hair.
Probably sarcasm.
Yesterday while I was driving to work, I saw a large rectangular bumper sticker on the car ahead of me. It had a picture on it of a smiling, handsome young man. Then I got close enough to read it. It said "17-year-old Jordan saved the lives of four people by being an organ donor" and then went on to urge me to be an organ donor, too (I already am).
I saw a bumper sticker recently: "Jesus saves". The funny thing was the car was on the side of the road with the front all caved in from the truck that had just hammered it. I guess Jesus doesn't save from on head collisions.
Now, I'm no marketing genius. But if I'd been designing that sticker, I'm not sure if that's the way I would have gone. Because all I could think about then was that smiling, handsome young Jordan in the photo had suffered some untimely, tragic accident likely involving brain injury, had his organs harvested and is now dead, dead, dead.
My bumper sticker would have been going on about JORDAN'S HEROIC SACRIFICE and how WE SHOULD ALL STRIVE TO EMULATE HIS EXAMPLE. Mine would be way more effective.
So I am chilling at home tonight. I'm cooking dinner for the peeps tomorrow so I picked some recipes and went to Whole Foods for groceries. Lots of produce and vegetables. Spur of the moment bottle of wine from a local winery that looked yummy.
There's something about the word "yummy" that brings my piss to a boil. Have I ever told you about the worst show on television, incidentally? It's called "Yummy Mummy" and I'd rather watch an infant being strangled to death than Yummy Mummy. It's all about how these cunts are going to not watch the kids they squirted out and sit around in a cafe and drink Keystone Light. Whenever I see it I have to stop doing whatever I'm doing because I need my whole body to hate these people.
Have you ever seen purple sausage? You have now!
I sure have. I think I'd throw that away if I were you.
This is the Ginger Blueberry chicken sausage I bought last weekend at the farmer's market.
Ginger
blueberry
chicken
sausage.
Not everything is like peanut butter and chocolate, people. You can't just stack things that taste good and expect to have a coherent taste.
I'm not even being some pro gourmand here, either. One of my favorite foods is chicken nuggets from Wendy's.
Okay, geeks, nerds, fangirls, fanboys, and geek-adjacent folk of every variety. I have a topic. More like a hypothesis based on observation.
Oh hey, don't give a shit.
In any canon which has a definite central character, that character is the one that gets the least love from the fandom.
I said I don't give a shit, why are you still blabbing at me?
Luke Skywalker? Don't think so.
I'd argue Anakin Skywalker (Darth Vader) is the actual main character of the Star Wars canon even though Luke was the main character of the good movies (the older three).
So, what do you think? Have you seen this phenomenon in YOUR fandoms?
I don't have any "fandoms". Anything I like that other people happen to like I try to keep away from those people as much as possible.
It really is fantastic. It's just so...Holmes. It's porn for Holmes enthusiasts, the way the classic Holmes tropes have been updated and reimagined. Holmes performs the same deductions on Watson when they first meet as he did in the books, except instead of a pocket watch, he deduces Watson's family problems from his phone. Instead of monographs, Holmes has a website. Instead of chronicling his adventures with Holmes in diaries, Watson keeps a blog.
That sounds awful. I can't even begin to imagine watching this horseshit. What, so bankrupt for ideas whoever made this you're just going to take all of the creative bits and just say "OH LOOK, WATSON HAS AN iPAD NOW!" and people like this? I can't say I'm surprised, actually. People are pretty stupid and will watch anything with Apple products in it.
He wears nicotine patches instead of smoking a pipe and there are references to him being an addict in recovery.
Oh get it because Holmes was an opium fiend in the books.
Wow.
Well anyway I have to go on my own Sherlock Holmes mystery in FFXIV. Only unlike Holmes I like to have a back up plan. Gotta get my gat.
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