Oh God

This layout
that avatar
is it 2003?
YEAH I'M EDGY AND MALL GOTH
GOTTA SHOP AT HOT TOPIC AND CUT MYSELF LATER.
Also I noticed my last entry only got one view (me) instead of the usual 10-30 views.
So God people fine I'll post something on time for once.
What, you thought this was a professional production with a schedule?
NOPE.
All amateur all the time.
That sounds like a porno ad.
Anyway I'm just delaying as long as I can so I don't actually have to read this garbage.

hel provided the following reason why this journal should be viewed with discretion: I use bad words and talk about sex and other things which might upset parents who expect other people to monitor their children for them..

Yeah she calls herself Hel.
Hel in Norse mythology is the goddess of the underworld so we have Norse mythology (I'M Wiccan xD) and the underworld and almost saying the word hell so the edgy factor is off the motherfucking charts at this point.
Except she warns you this is happening--
Someone truly edgy wouldn't warn you.
1/10 making me reply must try harder.

“There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.”-Ghandi

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

Everything is out of the old apt. Just gotta unload the uhaul&the moving part is done.

You know I'm glad the average length of your posts so far is 17 words because having to agree that I won't immediately shit myself and have a heart attack on seeing the word "fuck" really doesn't grate when I have to do it to reveal the next sentence in the paragraph you call a fucking journal.
Moron.

Is there anyone who could help me unload a uhaul in Deanwood between 1&4pm today?

Deanwood?
You're going to have to give me a state on that one.
Can't say I've ever driven through Deanwood.

The move from Hell WILL be done tonight. Then comes unpacking.

HELL
THERE IT IS
SHE SAID A BAD WORD--
except I've had to read through short stories with 7th graders that contained the word "hell" so I don't think this counts.
Still that's one more almost bad word said than most of these fucking blogs contain so--
Reminds me of the time we were reading through some 19th century thing and it said "breast" about 17 billion times so I had them say breast 5 times in a row to get the giggles out.
Oh to be that young and stupid and easily amused by things again.

This must be what it's like to have ADD. I just can't keep focused on my task, every thought distracts me.

It has taken me a long time to figure out what I like about the EVE Online community over other MMO communities.

My first reaction was they were more intelligent than the average person but that, as it turns out, isn't anywhere close to true.

They're just as dumb as any other group but there is a certain quality they possess that I don't see very often.

Yesterday I finally figured it out: people with ADD don't play this game at all.

If you play this game you have the patience of several saints.

I can't tell you how different the experience is where, no matter the intelligence level of the person you're dealing with they're not bouncing off the fucking walls because something hasn't died this nanosecond.

Here is a picture of a cat so large and grainy it doesn't fully fit in my monitor--
my monitor isn't small--
Another fucking one--

So I managed to get a concussion. Was in the moving van (details of how fucked up the move has been are on fb) and mom said something at just the wrong time, distracted me, and I slammed my head into...something. 

This is a typical MMO player right here.
Now imagine the success of 8 people who just put 3 hours into something is tied to this moron not fucking something up.
Welcome to the reason I don't play FFXI anymore.
And the thing they can't fuck up is literally on par with "don't hit your own head so hard you get a concussion" and they still fuck it up.
I'll never forget that fucking area you level in with the colibris and that one wind elemental that spawns.
"don't back up into it and cast a spell" is basically the only thing you have to do to get experience.
Of course some retard does every fucking time.
Then I bounce a cure III off the colibri so it now knows cure 3 and promptly drop the party while the rest of the morons are dealing with a wind elemental and a colibri that is suddenly immortal.
Fuckers.
Fucking dark knights think they can tank because they're so dark and edgy--
I don't want to talk about this anymore.

Was instantly dizzy and nauseous, and Thane says my behavior changed, my packing the van tetris skills sharply decreased. But we were still aiming to get done in time, so I ignored it and continued packing. While Thane & mom were off on an unloading run, I noticed I was feeling oddly listless.  

Like the digits in your IQ are equivalent to the temperature of standing water--
why are you picking the jobs where you have to juggle a spell cycle and a weapon chain?
My IQ is literally double yours and I have trouble juggling keeping you morons refreshed, regened, healed and my own MP not at fucking 0.
What hope do you have of doing that + damage?
Of course I'm playing glorified babysitter and you get to do all the "fun" shit (AKA: shit that does fuck all) so maybe if I did fuck all too I'd manage.
Of course then when I pick a damage dealing class my damage is so in excess of everyone else I'm tank, too, so fuck everything.
No I don't want to talk about this anymore.

Also, I'd had like...no hours of sleep since Friday afternoon, so had a minor breakdown about how fucked the move has been right around dawn.

Thane got back mid crying spell, and decided I needed to go to the er, and fuck getting the move done "on time".

So yeah. ER said it's a concussion, sleep dep isn't helping, go rest and take it easy. Thane is enforcing this, so the move is delayed even further, til this evening.

Apparently, getting diagnosed with a concussion sometimes just means you hit your head, have some head injury symptoms going on, but nothing is showing up on any of the tests, like ct scan.

Yes, clearly the licensed medical doctors can't identify a concussion.
But you, someone so inept you can accidentally bang your own head so hard on something you get one is fully equipped to identify your own concussion without scans.

RT @alicetheowl: I'm still accepting monetary assistance to help get me through an awful situation

Oh yeah.
Me too.
Like I'm doing fine at the moment in terms of cash but if anyone just wants to send me free money I won't tell you no.
I have provided you people years of free entertainment at tremendous cost to myself.
Remember when I was student teaching in that shitty school and I still managed to update?
I am truly a beneficent, Christ-like figure.

Things I am doing that are working well-drinking an equal amount of water before I have soda.

Things I am doing well not punctuating anything

Aw, @BurgerKing, why'd you have to go and shrink the size of a large hashbrown at breakfast?

THIS ISN'T TWITTER YOU FUCKING IDIOT

@SOMEONE DOESN'T DO ANYTHING.

I still don't fully understand Twitter, speaking of.

I read three Twitters now and I don't get any of them.

The incredible thing is Twitter really makes you sound like an idiot because you have 180 characters to complete your thought so grammar and spelling are right out the fucking window by default.

One person is an astrophysicist and the other is the greatest living author.

Both of them sound like high school girls on Twitter once you take the context of the post out.

 Dude, I had my turn signal on for at least 10 seconds before your dumb ass honked at me. Your failure to see it is not my problem.

Fucker toots his faggot horn at me like that when there's nothing I can do and I can fucking guarantee he just made the biggest mistake he's going to that morning because my entire commute is now a mission to fuck with him and him alone.

Going to the ER for medical care means more expensive care, more lost time at work, longer recovery times&a lower quality of life.

>2013

>not going to a witch doctor

RT @ellyblue: Looking around, maybe we really are in a postfeminist era. And not in a good way. Time to get back to basics. 101 is recognizing dumbassery.

No clearly we still live in a feminist era because TWITTER DOESN'T WORK OUTSIDE OF TWITTER.

Oh

shit

are you fucking joking with me?
Are you serious?

I had to click that I was 18 or older

then click that I was 18 or older

to see this:

Naptime!

THAT'S THE ENTIRE FUCKING POST.

Wooooow

Nap time truly is a post so debauched and perverse that only adults should bear testament to it.

Closed car door on my fingers. (Left hand at least) Dropping Thane at work, going to urgent care. Don't think they're broken.

And this is the person I'm trusting to not get us all fucking shot in pirate space.

Jesus Christ.

"Let's all move to drone space!"

"Why?"

"Drone space is going to be the place to be next patch!"

"No it isn't"

long story short: it wasn't and the new system we were renting (I had to help pay the rent no less) had a massive fucking wormhole straight into Goonwaffe space.

Thank you for scouting this before we bought it, chief.

A giant space asshole that dumps Goons directly into our yard.

I'm sure 10/10 of you don't know what I'm talking about but just reread that phrase: "a giant space asshole that dumps Goons directly into your yard."

Does that sound like a good thing?

So people that have played the game for half a decade should definitely know better.

RT @sunshineejc: there is no policy that Obama has passed or proposed that added as much to the deficit as #GOP $3.9T extension of Bush tax cuts~Ezra Klein

Yeah

no Obama is the greatest president in the history of history.

Have you read about his insane policy of seizing records so he can monitor people?
I'm certainly not committing any opinion to the contrary to text.

Did I say "insane policy"?

I meant thank you, Obama, for keeping me safe from myself. 

War is peace

freedom is slavery

ignorance is strength

First time this year it's been cold enough to warrant my leather jacket.

Look at that fucking avatar.

She wears leather every time she gets dressed.

Which isn't often because you can go to stores now in your pajamas. 

I'm going on a date with my husband! ... After we make a sympathy visit to his step-great aunt. The juxtapositions of married life.

To be fair she did say hell and fuck once each so this totally justifies the amount of inconvenience the inanity of your thoughts are.

#420yolo

Sorry forgot my "Twitter only" part of the post so you'd know we're speaking the same language.

RT @elizabethdanger: wait. wait. people ship sansa and joffrey?

I read that "ship Sansha" and I thought we were talking about fucking Sansha's Nation ships in EVE Online and I got really excited for a second.

The Nightmare is probably my second favorite battleship so you can shut the fuck up about Sansha's Nation, okay.

RT @dantheshive: Can we please have a presidential election where it's difficult to choose who to vote for because both choices are just that awesome?

I voted for Obama.

For truly he is the greatest president of all time.

RT @Doubting_Tom: I have a challenge for @DCComics: Can we go 6 months where no rapes are committed or attempted in a non-Vertigo book?

RT @Dumb_Cunt: I have a challenge for @Dumb_Cunt: can we go one post without a Twitter thing?

Fuck off.

Cinco de Whatever

It's amazing to me the number of Americans genuinely excited about their recent excuse to drink: Cinco de Mayo. As a little experiment, I asked anyone who mentioned their excitement for this holiday what the holiday actually meant, and not a single person could answer. Only one person could even confirm it involved Mexico.
Oh well, any excuse to get hammered on cheap margaritas, I guess.
Americans celebrating an unlikely Mexican victory over the French.
Is victory against the French unlikely, or inevitable?

A fair wind blew on that day. It was chilly, but the breeze that rushed across my face was warm, comforting and carried the unmistakable sweet scent of spring rain.

It was chilly but the breeze was warm but it's spring-- whatever.

I stood with my hands buried in the pockets of my tweed blazer. Why I chose to wear this ridiculous thing is beyond me, after all, it's not like you would care.

Hey good point. I wouldn't care.
Effective storytelling at its finest.

If I recall correctly, you even told me once that you liked me for not putting on airs and feeling obligated to dress myself up.

You, not putting on airs?
Well you could knock me over with a feather.

Voices are passing by me now, but I don't see their sources, only dark lumps of upright shapes seeming to float past me like drift wood on the sea.

I feel like there's an obvious song reference I'm missing here--

I stare blankly at the cherry wood chair in front of me, noting all of the swirls and knots in its form.

Wait, shut up. Something is coming to me.
Nope, it passed.

I stand to join the line forming in the isle.
Yet some how, my mind isn't paying any attention at all.

Aisle? Perhaps she does mean isle, this is all so opaque and metaphysical who even knows where she is or what the fuck is happening?

I see your pale skin instead, remembering the way the sheets would drape over your bare waist and hip. The gray-blue color of the linen played a beautiful part in accenting your complexion.

Oh fuck me, waiting for something to happen. It's like I'm really reading something for school!
WORDS WORDS WORDS

But I struggled with the fact that if I chose to see you, my last memory of your slender features would be a lifeless one.

Like dust in the wind, dude.
Deep.
Time for a quick writing lesson:
the three most important things for a story are context, characters and plot.
Context, meaning the setting and all that background shit, is especially important for setting up the other bits because one context can and will change the tone in relation to the other things.
Take, for example, my previous mention of Cinco de Mayo: if you're Mexican it's a great celebratory day of heroes and shit, but if you're French it's probably more along the lines of "those damn rebels". The entire context of your story shifts simply by picking France or Mexico.
This story has no context, and therefore I immediately don't give a shit because I feel lost and don't really care to catch up because you also don't have any compelling characters so their struggle is totally irrelevant and obnoxious to me.
Finally you have no plot, because indeed nothing happens in the first, what, 200 or so words?
Your first goal in opening a story is to make me give a shit. Let's compare your opening with some of the most successful openings in history:

Midway in the journey of our life I came to myself in a dark wood, for the straight way was lost.

Immediately you want to know what he's talking about, so you keep reading. Why was the straight way lost? Why did he find himself suddenly in a dark wood? These are details you want to know, and notice he uses almost no description at all to paint this image.
What do you know about the woods? Nothing, besides it's dark, and yet you know exactly what he means. Go easy with description, it weighs your shit down. Here's another good one:

Today my mother died.

What, why? And one more, to ram my point home:

These are the times that try men's souls.

Now let's compare that with yours:

A fair wind blew on that day.

Oh. So?
Anyway, moving on from bad writing.
Well, I guess I'm still reading this blog so that's a given, but moving on from this bad post.

Why is everyone always fucked up, but never fucked down?

Hurrrrrrr

Never throw a rock down a well. You never know when something is going to throw it back at you from the other side.

... That doesn't even make sense.

Things seem to keep slipping through my fingers lately. Maybe I'm just being dramatic, or maybe I'm going through a downer cycle. Whatever the reason, I feel redundant and hollow

Well-- wow I just noticed you have some bizarre bold font on this. "I" in "I'm" and "am"-- oh I see. You're a fucking derp. If you are to read just the bold part, it spells out "I am redundant and hollow". Wow, real secretive.

Even though I have my guardian, I am still very far from being saved. I've come to realize that the only one who can save me, is myself. The only trouble is, the hero in me, only wants to save other people. So, I guess even the warrior is lazy too. Damn.

Anyone know what the shit is going on? I see the "secret" code continues but frankly who gives a shit--
Oh wait, I know. I have a secret code for you, and make sure to only read the bold part, now: you're a cunt.

I've come to notice that no matter how trusting people are in each other, there are always suspicions. The cold clawing of mistrust is never far behind in relationships.

A suspicious mind is a healthy mind.
But still, one might wonder what prompted such a philosophical train of thought, and the simple answer is there is no reason. We're in for the long haul with this blog, people.

I left Texas on the 5th of September,

TEXAS.
Suddenly everything makes sense.

Good cannot defeat bad.
Bad cannot defeat good.
In a world where there is neither good nor bad,
there can be no victor but the nothingness that is us.

... What?
If good and bad don't exist, how can good and bad fight?
You're stupid. This is stupid.

I didn't really like you all that much to begin with.

Then the feeling is mutual.

When I met you, I thought you were cool, you shared my love for the mystics.
But the problem was that I learned you actually live and breathe in that world.

Anyone? Anyone know what's going on?

Now you say that you like me? How can you like me if all we talk about is ghouls?

Uhhhhh, trick question?

You seem like you try so hard to fit into that world. Werewolves, Vampires, Ghosts, Spirits, Devils, Shadows. You try too hard, you're stories sound like some hokey fifty dollar movie production, or a lame campfire spook story.

You are stories sound like some hokey fifty dollar movie production.
Brilliant.

This is odd, I finally have a place to write my thoughts down, but now I have nothing to write!!
Maybe if I just start writing about random stuff, more interesting things will pop into my head to jot down. I hope so!!

In fact! I think I just figured something out to write about!

And there the post ends. I guess whatever interesting thing she found to write is a secret to us. All boring, all the time! It's Banefulvexation's blog (Jesus Christ).

I loved this person very much, I never met this person, only talked to this person. But in that I learned so much, because you see, that's all that we could do, it was never a 'lust' or physical thing.

Commas.

They were more than just my love you see, and even if they didn't love me like they said, I wouldn't care because they were still my best friend, they don't have to love me for me to love them, and that was enough for me. Lol

Whatever.

Would I find their name in the obituaries one day and cry knowing that I would never be able to meet this person, and that I wasn't able to be there for them if they had wanted to see me before they died? Its dreadfully morbid I know.. Plus I'm babbling and not making any sense..

No! You, not making any sense? I don't believe it!

So at this point I shall shut up.

Goodnight.

Poor display overall, I must say. And this is her very first entry too, awww. All the way from stardate 2007. Well I will give her one thing, at least she doesn't update her blog constantly. She waits until she really has something to say (har har) and focuses on one meaningful, entertaining post at a time.

First Year Anniversary

Hurray an entire year of shitty blogs and headaches and cunts. May the second year be as successful.
Today we have Ty_Ping, and than you, Ty_Ping: you and your kind are the reason this blog is successful. Well, successful technically, not successful in any other sense of the term.
Today's first entry is entitled:

OH GOSH JAPANESE IS MUZUKASHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiii...

Oh boy I'm in for it now.

I'm spending all day printing out my workbook pages because I am by far too cheap to acctually buy the book (Stupid thing costs 80$ used in the campus bookstore. That's BULLCRAP!) so it's taking me a long time to do on my cheap little printer having to double side the pages my hand by pulling the page out and then flipping it over.

WOW THIS PIRACY SURE IS HARD WORK!

A girl on Gaia is claiming

Stopped reading there. Guess what? Gaia is the asshole of the internet. No one cares what those mutants think about anything, because they're all deviants in league with furries.

Oh and she's also an authority on Homosexuality because back in high school she used to feel an attraction to girls

Posting on Gaia I guess she would be fairly familiar with what's gay and what isn't. (Hint: Gaia is).

This is why I'm glad I changed my religion to Idongiveadamnism. Which is an offshoot of Zen Taoism and Brahmanism.

>Zen Taoism
It's Zen Buddhism, chief. Zen is a school of Mahayana Buddhism that emphasizes experience over formal education, and therefore was popular amongst the warrior classes in both Japan and China (I think) until it ultimately found a following in North America, particularly on the West coast, where to this day it is still the most popular brand of Buddhism in America.
Zen and Taoism do share a lot philosophically, however.

However they have tennents against ignorance in all forms and faiths so it is offensive to my religion and morality to see her rape her religion like that.

I see. So it's okay for you to interpret your "religion" (hint: Zen Buddhism has little to do with religious doctrine) any way you see fit but the second she attempts to interpret her religion she's wrong by virtue it's offensive to your own philosophical beliefs?
Sure is butthurt Christfag logic in this blog.
Not to say she's right (she isn't) but you're just as wrong.
Now there's a long post about dieting. Imagine that, someone who takes Japanese classes and posts on Gaia is overweight.
Now there's a post about her totally awesome Death Knight in World of Warcraft. No one cares, stop posting.

Midsummer festival has started on WoW, I'm kind of at a crossroads here. You can get about 500 or 600 of the festival currency if you do most/all of the dailies and other quests. However it take about 1,000 of them to collect all the cool stuff they sell. So now I'm wondering, should I spend my currency on the midsummers outfit so I can dance on the pole and get the achievement. OR, do I get one of the rare pets.

Now I'm reminded of why I quit WoW.

There are few things that will turn me off of a person altogether, I think I'm quite open minded and people can disagree with me on many things and I wont think any less of them, but there are two, no maybe three things that will just set my teeth on edge and throw out any respect I might have held for you.

One of them is Childishness.

Well you being open minded has already been proven incorrect, but please, do continue.

He was exalting how fun this game he was playing was to me. Explaining details and interesting tid bits while he played it and I watched. Then I asked "Can I try"
"Uhhh no offense but I don't like anyone touching my computer."
Too late I'm offended.

Wow. Childishness is apparently a peeve of yours, but I sure can see pettiness isn't.
"I don't like anyone touching my computer."
"That's cool I don't want to catch HIV from touching your computer anyway. Enjoy your shitty game, fag."
Another WoW thread that I'm not quoting here.

I'm terrified someone will try to talk to me and I can't use the good old "Me no speak Japanese" anymore.

You're taking Japanese 101. You still don't speak Japanese.

All my brother did was call me a bitch and I started crying, then my Mom gives me heck for crying and I just cry more. Hell even writing about crying is making me cry again. I just can't stop crying and all I want to do is to go home but I don't know where that is anymore.

Ha, ha wow. I'm not taking sides in this event. I'm just going to call you all cunts and move on.

Normally I don't have that much drama in LFG but god this Belf was such a DICK.

Oh wow some more shit in a game no one cares about.

What do you do with a boy with zero respect and seems almost a compulsive liar?

Sounds like your mother has already failed as a parent.

You want to verbally berate him? Don't listen to him, quit respecting him because clearly he doesn't get it.

Yes, be disrespectful. This is sure to earn you respect in turn.
Glad to see even rudimentary human interactions are a complete mystery to you. I guess this is why you have problems in World of Warcraft, huh?

You have to punish him EACH time he steps out of line.

Ah, another award winning solution: don't make him regret the action, make him fear the repercussions of getting caught. This won't make him stop being a liar or whatever, it'll just make him better at what he does.

Oh well, the upside of this is I'm an even better liar and I've been stealing money from your change jar and since you can't trust a word that comes out of the other kids mouths I can get away with it no problem.

Oh, jeez.
Sounds like you kids need a good Imperial upbringing: first one steps out of line gets shot. I don't think we'll see another problem from the (remaining) others.

"You needn't support this ((Multi-billion dollar)) poorly run company that allows, "glitches," "cataloging errors," and/or new policies against, "adult," books to censor numerous authors due to their beliefs or their sexual practices."

I wonder how this will affect my book selections considering all I buy from Amazon is gay porn.

Well you might try something new. You know there's more to life than porn, gay or otherwise.
Also lolpayingforporn

-Rant based off an argument with some friends over topics related.

Why is a woman that wants a new nose shallow but you're not?

Because I don't want a new nose. Next question.

Why is a girl who starves herself to death stupid, but someone killing themselves over their lack of penis tragic?

They're both stupid.

It's not okay for us to feel ugly, it's not okay for us to feel bad, it's not okay for us to not be good enough and yet every time someone changes that's what you're saying.

So stop feeling that way. If my words make you feel bad about yourself then it's your own weak will.

you talk about my moral high ground?

How many of you support pro-ana groups?

How many of you would support someone sawing off their limb just because they don't want it there?

Jesus fuck what are you talking about? Shut up you raving moron.

I don't care anyway.

For someone who doesn't care you sure do sound butthurt over it. What, sad you're fat and have to buy two tickets at the movie theater?

I'm reading the news today and an Indiana officer has been fired because he refused to be tased in a training exercise because both his personal doctor and the doctor on duty said not to do it as the metal plate in his back could amplify the shock and the resulting muscle spasams could render him paralysed.

Weeding out the weak.

Or maybe, just maybe, he could, you know, just not carry a taser?

Oh, gee, good solution. I GUESS WE CAN'T TRAIN HIM IN THE USE OF THIS WEAPON LET'S JUST FORGET IT AND PUT HIM ON THE STREET~

This is why I don't want kids. Because frankly I'd beat them. With Gusto.

Based off your previous brilliant parenting tips I can't say this is unexpected.

I just got a warning to cite my image sources on a sketch I did for a friend last year that I guess she gave me source material for but frankly I couldn't remember/care enough to cite when I decided to post the image on ygallery.

Better stop tracing, then.

But in any case the reporter for the show was saying "Would you trust someone who performs a symbolic human sacrifice to watch your kids, to be your neighbour, to run your country"

Sure, why not? It's just symbolic, after all. This would be like saying "I don't trust Catholics because the perform symbolic cannibalism."

Now the religion in question was Molach (sp?)

Moloch, typically, but if I had to get on your case about spelling it wouldn't be over this.

Apparently there was a secret group of people who would dress up an effigy and sacrifice it to Molach once a year.

Uh-oh. Time to get on my witch hunter hat.

I watched a Japanese movie called like Ibaraki or something like that. Essentially it was a mix of Battle Royale and "The Lotto" which was a short story.

Yeah thanks for that.

I'm pretty sure government santioned randomized murder isn't going to make people more happy to be alive.

Well good thing it was just a movie, then.
Uhhhh why am I so tired after reading this? I think I've found a no-pill cure for insomnia, good grief. If only Al Pacino knew about this blog in that movie Insomnia maybe he wouldn't have died at the end.