No, of course not. Here we are.
So I'm sitting here MSUing...what exactly is MSU? It stands for Making Shit Up. It's a term created by my work only "they" use the G version.
"they" use the G version. What--
What am I MSUing? I'm sitting here pondering what my friends on here actually look like. I've been corresponding with a few people for a year now. Shit, has it been that long? Anyhew,
>anyhew
Wow we need to talk.
So I thought I'd share with you my everlasting love for Fringe.
Here's me giving a fuck.
What's going on with FFXIV?
No patch today, huh.
So I've found out I have a freaking food allergy.
How bizarre is that?
That is so bizarre! Who has food allergies? No one but you, that's who!
I've never been allergic to ANYTHING besides dust, grass, mold. You know the usuals. I've never been allergic to FOOD.
"I mean I've eaten my way through several buffet-style lunches before, so you'd think if I had a food allergy I would have learned about it before now."
Apparently I have some sort of wheat allergy.
Oh. They call that Celiac Disease (or Coeliac Disease if you're British. And stupid). I don't think this is nearly as common as people would have you believe. I mean grains make up a pretty huge part of the diet and you'd think anyone with a serious allergy to gluten (what you're actually allergic to in wheat) would have been bred out of our glorious species before now.
I mean it's strange, isn't it? You never see Asian people with Celiac and they'd logically be the ones most likely to have it because gluten isn't present in rice and that's their primary grain crop.
The reason I found this out was while on vacation I cut out pretty much all wheat products and my severe heartburn and I mean SEVERE (Zantac wouldn't touch it) went away and I felt clear headed and was able to sleep through the night.
Scientific.
How do you know your heartburn was diet related and not, say, stress related?
How do you know your vacation in general didn't fix the problem?
Two nights ago I made a HUGE mistake. I had a Blue Moon beer. How was I to know it was a Wietbier made from fermented wheat?!?!?!
Considering most beer is fermented barley (which also has gluten) beer is pretty much out of your diet in general, what?
Oh I guess she only claims to be allergic to wheat.
Yeah, you know, all the hypo-allergens in wheat certainly can catch up to you.
Goddamn people who post on Livejournal are mentally ill.
Hey everyone! *waves*
How is your Sunday treating you?
Just shut up and do your post.
I can't believe what a doofus I am. I decided last night to post a personal ad on Craigslist. Now I remember exactly why I don't post ads on Craigslist.
I've actually debated doing a Craigslist post on Edie Finds a Corpse. It is pretty entertaining.
It causes weirdoes to come out of the woodwork.
Weirdos, on the internet?
Let me adjust my sarcastic shocked face.
:V
There's always that ONE guy that feels the need to critique your ad and point out the flaws as if being sardonic and mean is the way to a woman's heart.
Well it has been proven in two entire studies that men who don't look at the camera get more responses than men who do when taking a picture for their dating profile, so I can kind of see where he was headed with that.
Really asshole? Might I quoth "Goodfellas" when I say "GO FUCK YOURSELF!"
All right when you try to sound smart by saying "quoth" and then you use it incorrectly you just look like an idiot. "Quoth" is past tense. It's the same as saying "quoted".
That's why The Raven is written in past tense?
Fuck.
Next is the guy who likes hitting on younger women.
How strange.
Did I mention he's 56 and I'm in my 30's?
Okay you're in your 30s making Craigslist ads. You are clearly no prize, let's just be honest with ourselves.
So I'm sitting here weeding through replies and some actually sound normal. I'll see. Last time I did this I ended up going out on three dates with a closet Nazi.
Three dates so at least he was a charming Nazi.
When life get's me down I tend to turn to comedies for relief.
Especially anything that makes me laugh.
As opposed to all the comedies that don't make you laugh, what? Well I guess there are a lot of unfunny comedies but why would you even mention those?
Shit!
Fuck!
Son of a Bitch!
FFXIV just went down?
I've fallen into yet another FANDOM!!
Christ Almighty...
Say, aren't you a little too old to be doing this kind of thing?
Now here she's having a "Midlife crisis" which let's just suppose when she says she's "in her 30's (apostrophes don't work that way)" she means she's 39, because that's the only way she's technically in the middle of her life, although of course for most people that's something that happens in your 40s, but whatever.
Maybe she's like Dante and going by the Biblical midlife in which case she's exactly 30.
I finally figured it out what I want to be when I grow up.
I want to be a Human Rights Activist.
You're someone who has admitted to several thousand dollars in credit card debt and you're trapped in a dead-end job you hate with no relationships with other people. I think you've grown up.
But, hey, at least you're not in a self-imposed exile to the Dark Land, huh?
I'm pretty much obsessed with World War II. Specifically Easy Company and the 101st Airborne.
You know, like what all them TV shows and video games focus on.
Oh yeah, I see what you did there.
Here's how she describes her "sense of humor" in six words (I don't need that many words: you have no humor)
Dry, crude, intelligent, dark, easily amused.
>crude
>intelligent
Do these go together?
Anyway I think I'm going to go do something with my life because what follows is FANFIC FANFIC FANFIC LOL xD
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