Whoa!

Almost no update Friday as well.
Well, I'm sure you were all looking forward to it (without asking) and here's my official review of Final Fantasy XIV:
Last night I started at 8 PM (class and maintenance stacked on top of each other to keep me off until later) and the next time I looked at a clock it was 3:30 in the morning.
You can punch things, you can craft items, you can mine for fish-- not getting too technical, am I?
Oh but let's take a break from the glory that is hunting for wind shards (258 fire shards and counting, though) and read some fuck.
The title is "Hiding out from the Inter-Hemisphere Police" and he (?) probably thinks that's "lulz funny xD becuz their arent inter-hemisphere police!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" but I'm here to shit on his parade.
They're called Interpol and they don't have nearly as much authority as you'd think they would.
In fact, as near as I can tell, they're kind of pussies. I know personally I'd suit them up in power armor, but that's just me.
I do like their company symbol, though: the globe with a dagger through it. Very authoritarian take on law enforcement, gentlemen.
Like all blogs recently, we start with a writer's block:

What would you do if you only had one month left to live?

I'm amazed at the number of people who think they'd do something incredible. If you could really do all this shit that easily and the only thing stopping you was you weren't close to death, why wouldn't you just do it now?

My life is complicated enough without adding time frames into it.

Thankfully, I don't have to worry. As a non-corporeal being, I won't really "die". I might freeze eternally, never to post again.

Now we have to give pause here. Is he being serious? He might be, you don't know. The immediate reaction, I'm sure, is "oh he's just kidding. I don't really get this joke but surely--" but you don't know that, man. I've reviewed some fuck in the past that you can't in good confidence say "he's definitely joking".

Or... since my account is always online, I would be immortal....

Or as long as the internet is around--
huh, didn't think of that, did you?

Is it appropriate for governments to spend so much money on defense and weapons? How much is too much?

Which governments? Some countries don't spend very much at all whereas some (South Korea, Russia, US, China, Japan, Israel, etc) spend tons and tons. Some of these nations (South Korea, US, Israel, Japan, etc) would seem within their rights to spend so much: they had some of their shit ruined in the recent past or their shit is threatened in the near future.

The problem isn’t expenditure per se, but more the lack of imagination which *results* in defence expenditure.

It would be much more interesting for countries to sign an International Treaty On The Resolution Of Disputes By Poetry.

... What the fuck am I reading?
Anyway my problem is this country spends so much money on defense contracts but spends hardly any at all on research and development.
Never going to have space marines at this rate, are you guys?

Or…what about an Annual Smut-Writing-Extravaganza?!

*nods enthusiastically*

Of course this may have the unforeseen consequence of conscripting some of my favourite people (including my Other Self) into military service.

Other Self. Nope, don't wanna know.

The answer is: Because it was interfering with my love life. What's the question?

"Why did you have penis reduction surgery?"
Hard carrying around this baseball bat, ladies.

The question is: why did you quit LiveJournal?

*teehee*

*evil smile*

If you do that again I'm going to roll up a newspaper and swat you so fucking hard on the nose your head will spin.

What is your fondest childhood memory? How often does it come to mind?

TRADING POKEMON WITH A BRO WOOOOO
EVERY TIME I LOOK AT MY LEVEL 100 GYARADOS

*clears throat*

Well, actually I wasn’t.

A child that is.

I sprang into existence as a fully developed entity.

So--
Errr.
Well I think I'm going to start up FFXIV now. I doubt this riveting tale will command my full attention.

Spontaneous existence is somewhat like spontaneous human combustion. Without the humans, flames and nasty death related side effects.

I wish I had a psycannon from Warhammer right now. You'd be faced with un-birth now, demon.
Now loading.

However I do have a surplus of penguins.

*all applications for penguin adoptions will be considered*

LULZ XD UR SOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY!
Seriously I hope if you ever get on a plane it crashes twice.

I could more accurately be described as an inter-hemispheric Baudrillardian simulation with a dual personality.

So, not joking? Just crazy?
When philosophers ponder “the meaning of life” I can only assume they’re being facetious, because the answer is obvious: paper-clips!
HURRRRRRRRRRRR.
So fuck this noise. Just nonstop xD so randum moments. If I wanted to deal with this fuck I'd read Gamefaqs or something.