Look at this

Look at this.

This is on the front of Facejournal when you log in (hurrr because you have to now to properly browse). Those are images you can purchase for other people. That's not like Livejournal money, either, that's real money they want for fucking clipart taken from Windows Paint.
I'd say "who on this wide earth has enough money and not enough brains to do such a thing?" But I'm pretty sure this website is proof that more would than wouldn't.
Today we have an exercise in disappointment that is this shit. Look at the name, ho boy.
I was going to review this other blog written by some Korean girl because I want to stare at their funny crop circle language some (my latest hobby, I have a new TV channel devoted to NOTHING BUT) but it turns out she's not Korean, so fuck that noise.

Oh great, Adam's updating his Livejournal again. What is it this time? Another joke too long for him to fit on Twitter? More song lyrics that aren't half as poetic as he thinks they are? A sequel to the story about the time he couldn't find gloves?

More shit I'm not reading? A confession that you're a homosexual as all men with blogs are? WELL, LET ME KEEP YOU GUESSING, READERS!

Quite frankly, I don't talk about life because little in my life has been worth talking about. I often claim, 'when something happens, you'll know about it.'

I just blew my nose and this long yellow and red thing came out of my head. Cause to be concerned, or allergies?

Our equipment consisted of one High-8 camera with a tape deck that wouldn't open, and a ten dollar omni-directional microphone.

This sounds like the start of a war story as told by John Wayne. WE ONLY HAD ONE RIFLE WITH THREE BULLETS AND A SOCK PUPPET AND WE TOOK OUT EVERY BLASTED ONE OF THOSE SONS OF BITCHES.

My writing opportunity is satisfying, but these skills don't pay the bills.

Hear that, Spielberg? Pack it in. That shit will never pay the bills.

Tartarus.

In Ancient Greek mythology, Tartarus was below the underworld.

Oh, hello. Suddenly something interesting.

It was where the truly wicked were doomed to spend eternity; those who insulted, spited, or manipulated the Gods. Those doomed to this fate received unusual and taxing punishments. Sisyphus was doomed to roll a boulder up a hill, but never reach the top. Tantalus was constantly hungry, but forever out of reach of food.

And if we're talking about interesting punishments devised by the gods, don't forget Prometheus, destined to have his liver picked at by an eagle for all eternity, only to have it regrow the next day~

It's not just Hell. It's a manifestation of frustration. A hallucinatory sense of making progress, but never actually moving forward.

"Frustrating" is kind of an odd word to pick for that, but yeah I guess it works.
All right.

The other day, I Stumbleuponed my own personal Tartarus. It's a trivia game. Pictures of 100 famous movie directors, all you have to do is identify them from a headshot.

Oh. Bye, interesting part~
Also I'd say a successful director would be hard to identify by his picture. Isn't that the whole idea? He's directing and not acting?

Thanks for your help. And tell Hera I'm not sorry; she knows what she did.

Really? Hera? Of all the gods you could possibly piss off, Hera has to be one of the hardest.
She's pretty affable, really. I mean, how many mortals has she killed in all of Greek mythology? Only a couple hussies that Zeus took an interest in, but beyond that, if you're a man you're pretty much safe.

I'm not taking an anti-intellectual stand, far from it. I'm simply saying literature written for kids has a special kind of quality that can't be touched. It's why I associate Hatchet with untamed wilderness adventure instead of Robinson Crusoe.

Also because, you know, Hatchet was fun to read and Robinson Crusoe was really fucking boring.
You are allowed to think these thoughts, friend. Contrary to what they tell you in school, sometimes a classic is a classic because of tradition more than an actual reason.

It's why I think of The Giver instead of Brave New World when I hear "dystopian society."

As the world's most self-important litfag I will now point out with assured smugness that "The Giver" is problematic in terms of a dystopian society. The people willingly submitted to it, the goal of the government was truly beneficent in nature, and ultimately no one was truly unhappy in the society as such, and so therefore it's not really dystopian even if it would seem like it to you.

Simply put, Young Adult and Kids literature thrust me into adulthood better than a rocket riveted to my spine. And that's where my problem lies. While I assume there is plenty left to discover about this world, nothing could possibly be comparable to the bounty of information I learned then.

The Count of Monte Cristo and Dante's Inferno are 500 times better than any shitty kid book, don't even kid yourself. You have your nostalgia goggles on so tight they might as well be welded to your face, friend.
Now here's a story written about him in the third person. Not reading this, "Adam Jaspering".

I stay up late because I'm no bitch to my circadian rhythms.

No, but you are a bitch.

The problem with DC as mentioned in The Big Bang Theory:

Words I'm not reading.

I watched The Birds for the first time yesterday.

You graduated with some sort of (useful, har har) film degree and hadn't seen The Birds?
School, I tell you.

But what about the average Blockbuster goer? They don't choose to sit down one Thursday evening and watch a TCM special about Stanley Kubrick. Should they be entitled to the surprise that HAL-9000 kills the crew of Discovery One?

The movie is like 35 years old. It's your fucking fault if you haven't seen it in the interim.

Dracula being a vampire was once a spoiler.

... Well, spoiler in the sense that it wasn't explained until later he was a vampire, but if you couldn't tell there was something wrong with Mr. Dracula from page 3 there's something wrong with you.

It has become readily apparent that the vast majority of people have malformed information about the upcoming Zombie Apocalypse

Like the fact that zombies are biologically impossible.
Sorry to ruin your "lol xD" post, faggot.

Zombies do not operate via the remnants of their central nervous system. Aiming for the brain will not help.

Wrong, every piece of zombie fiction ever (almost) indicates a shot to the head is the preferable method of execution.

Do not set zombies on fire. Dry logs take hours to burn. Flesh will take much longer.

Wrong, flesh burns faster than logs.

Zombies are neither cold-blooded or warm-blooded. They are no-blooded.

Wrong. Without blood, movement would be impossible thanks to NO LACTIC ACID.
Man you suck at zombie trivia.

The Zombie Virus applies to all species. Beware of feral chipmunks. Look out for enraged pigeons.

Ignoring for a moment that you said at the start of your post that the zombie plague would spread via parasite and not virus (further ignoring that a mass parasite outbreak is highly unlikely in the first place), it is impossible for a virus to effect all living species at once. Viruses, like all life (well, pseudo-life, whatever) are adapted to their environment and therefore would have to separately adapt to all species.
In conclusion, good doctor, you are a faggot.

Good luck everyone. Keep together, don't trust strangers, and watch the itchy trigger fingers when visiting former Ghostbusters.

Keep together so inevitably when one of you gets cabin fever he can go nuts and endanger everyone. Good plan, asshole.

People don't understand how decades work. The 00's began on January 1st, 2000.

Actually if we're getting technical there was no "year 0" so the decade actually begins on 01.
Goddamn you're just wrong all over the place.
On that note I think I'm going to go do something else now.