Showing posts with label fuuuuuuuck. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fuuuuuuuck. Show all posts

Friday, November 4, 2011

These people need pills

Ready for our exercise in what's real and what isn't real?
Cartoon characters: not real.

Strange, I know.
Oh don't worry, gentle reader, if you don't know what I'm talking about. You're about to be educated.

What would be your last meal?

Oddly morbid line of questioning from Livejournal today.
Probably something obnoxiously fat that'd give me a heart attack three minutes 45 seconds into the meal, thus it being my last. :3

So typical American ha, ha-- except he's Dutch.
She is pretty. And halfway done. And I like vectors. And Shampoo. And fancelling.

I do not like shaky hands though. More good news to follow at a later point.
The entire post.

So a vector, in modern day nerd parlance, is a specific animation technique that renders an image larger than it was previously. The only other definition I know of is in epidemiology where a vector is something through which something (disease, parasite, whatever) spreads (mosquitos, water, Nickelback CDs, etc.).
I think it's also a shape. A specific kind of shape but I don't know geometry.
I know this does relatively little to translate this post from crazy but that's what I have to work with currently.
Here we have a cut for, in his words, "too many words" which is always a good sign.

Anime
Anime has taken up quite a bit of my life. Without it, I wouldn't be here anymore - more on that later. I love quirky humor, perky characters (be they male OR female, although one will usually find them to be female in anime) and silly physics (Goku's instant-fallovers in DBZ come to mind).

Oh yes, the zany physical comedy of Dragon Ball Z.
What's the most memorable scene from DBZ? Most people would think of Gohan's victory over Cell or maybe when Goku goes Super Saiyan (1 or 3) for the first time, or maybe Goku's victory over Freeza-- somehow I doubt many people would pull the "zany xP" comedy segments that are (mercifully) few in number.
Anime usually has at least two of these characteristics, and sometimes they are just plain old interesting. Aside from comedy, I also like ecchi anime. The fact that some artists just blatantly draw (physically inaccurate, lulz) breasts, as opposed to prude western cartoons, is a sign of respect for the human body.

TLDR: It is my anti-drug. Along with Doctor Who (Thank you, Hel), Scrubs and The Big Bang Theory.

Why would you admit to any of this shit?
Ecchi, for those of you blissfully ignorant, is basically softcore cartoon porno.

Shampoo
The muse of my continued existence, bane of relationships. Many a person is repulsed by the fact that my life has been saved by an animated female, but sadly (for them) this is the fact. Late 2003, by depression had reached a stage when I had attempted suicide (twice).

Why would you admit to any of this shit?

And on another side note, I still won't start on the cel or resume either statue. I've slept for two hours last night and my hand ain't steady. All the paint, jars and resin is here though, so tomorrow is probably go-time. :3

My hands smell like brimstone, speaking of Warhams.
Why, Ork Kommandos? Somehow the Warhammer staple, Orks, has eluded me for 10+ years.
Not so today.
I think I bought the last set of pewter models in the world, too. Thank you for not getting with the times, NC.
Basically I got them as an excuse to try some new things including painting green (which I seldom do) and this new buffing thing I learned about.
Oh but we're not talking about Warhams. We're talking about some anime sculpture.
My mistake.

Of course, as I finally resume work on my statues, I am both out of hi-gloss white, meaning I can't work on the eyes of the statue I was working on half a year ago, I lack sample jars to mix paint for the fancel.

I've been painting statues (as you call them) for more than ten years and I've never heard of a fancel in my fucking life.
Also:
>painting eyes
>using high gloss paint
No.
I'd be powerfully against using titanium white period for eyes (your eyes aren't that pure white) but if you have to do that at least use oil paints.
I guess you could argue it's an anime sculpture so realistic or muted colors aren't what you're going for anyway so maybe you could justify titanium white but for the love of Christ don't use high gloss.
Things glossy paints are good for:

That's all I can think of.
Here's a post on why CSI is bullshit and my response to this is if the science on CSI were completely realistic no one would watch it because real life is boring.
The artificer (new class in DDO) sucks, but is extremely fun to play. Making a whole of four classes completely obsolete and still being self-sufficient, it is a one-man party, making the whole principle of an MMO equally obsolete.

>Sucks
>makes four entire classes obsolete it's so awesome
we clearly are working under different definitions of "suck".
I have been raging at work a couple of times these past couple of week. Nothing compared to today. I'm still quaking. I can't help it anymore. Litte things now piss me off beyond repute. Pathetic little ignorant people (although ignorant people have been pissing me off ever since I started this journal). But there are now very few people who can still balance out this gross insult on my intelligence.

GROSS INSULT TO MY MASSIVE INTELLECT.
Sounds like you need to man the fuck up, friend.

This, by the way, counts for both my LJ and offline, and my MSN, and pretty much everything.

This must be some insult. You are butthurt at least five different ways across unrelated means of communication.
While I still may have a couple of intelligent lurkers, the blatant stupidity everywhere is starting to really get to me. LJ is still a relative safe haven though, where I can still spew my gall without too much... stupidity.

Excuse me?
Are we reading the same Livejournal or have I just been plugged into the stupid one this entire time?
But it just seems that more and more people have nothing to say and just skip to insults or empty sentences without any meaning whatsoever.

"Insults and empty sentences without any meaning whatsoever" was working title for this blog, actually.
I made a list of things I wanted this blog to contain and the phrase "anger and insults" appeared no less than five times.

...

I am depressed. I am horribly depressed and want to escape into games for the rest of my life.

Escape into an MMO. Smart place to escape stupidity and no, wait I remember now. Those games are breeding grounds for morons.
I saw a picture today where someone had 938,000,000 gil, incidentally. I thought I was rich in that game but that's just obscene.

Or just end it. I am so sick and tired of all this shit that's happening around me. During this morning I went into such a fucking blood rage that I wanted to kill people, indiscriminately.

That's how I felt when I saw a stream of Skyrim yesterday.
I like how it's 2011 and animation involves literally capturing movement from real people and Bethesda still cannot animate a human walking like they're not being controlled by an invisible hand up their rectum.
That shit flew in 2002 when Morrowind came out but come on, we're almost a decade into the future. Time to animate shit like we're big boys.
Also I heard rumors to the effect that there's a quest where you help a bullied kid by killing the bully (who is a girl [who really just likes the kid]). If that's true then that is Bioware-level writing and Bethesda really needs to go bankrupt.
I'm all for violence as a solution to problems, especially in video games, but in that specific case I think the situation could be readily handled through diplomacy.
This scared the living daylight out of me.

Why would Bethesda even write a quest like that? You are the chosen one-- go help bullied nerdlings!

Maybe I should just end myself for the safety of the masses, or maybe I should end a couple of people on the other end of the intelligence scale. I'm guessing I'll be heading home early today.

Go help bullied nerdlings by murdering those mean girls who bullied them in high school!
It's a vicarious revenge fantasy. That's the only thing I can think of.
No, there's no way that shit's real.
Here's a post entitled "bored and gaming ramble" and there's no way you're as bored as I am reading this or as rambling as I am.
I started playing ADOM again last week and I finished a run already. Yeah, I'm a save-scummer (I've recently learned this term), but I am pro-optional iron-man mode. Forced Iron-man = very uncool.

I could explain all this but I shouldn't.
I shouldn't dignify this with a translation to normal speak.
I lost the PayPal claim, and I won't be refunded my 5 bucks for not receiving my DLC from EA, which effectively ruined my savegame. I am not terribly grief-stricken about either the cash OR the savegame, as the cash is very little (even though I'm near-broke right now), and the save-game is of the 30-somethingeth playthrough, but the end result is still the same: If you pay for DLC, don't automatically assume you'll get it, and if you don't, you won't get a refund as you paid for virtual shit.

>EA outright stealing your money
>not getting angry over this
this is why EA is the video game monster it is today, people.
Another good reason not to pay for virtual shit. I'm not sure I'll pay for Mass Effect 3, either. EA and Bioware hit me where it hurt, and that is a very bad thing to do in an area where I am knowledgable.

Bioware hit me where it hurt.
The storytelling department.
Seriously, what 12 year old have you loosed into the writing meetings, Bioware?
Oh boy, here's him cosplaying Tseng from Final Fantasy VII, though he looks less like the elite Shinra operative and more like some sort of horrific Nazi Men in Black character.
Further proof cosplaying is a bad idea.
For reference, this is what he's cosplaying.
I don't understand people, man.

It probably also isn't a secret Microsoft has been dropping in my polls, over the last couple of years. They finally molded that whole Windows-95 look-a-like set of re-releases into something decent when they brought out XP, and yet they managed to ruin that in twofold: Once by releasing XP-SP2, which was an insult to every gamer and wannabe gamer out there,

>SP2
>insult to gamers
>SP2 being the de facto standard until Win7
Didn't SP2 add support for Direct X11? How exactly is that an affront to gamers?
FUCK YOU, DIRECT X. WHAT HAVE YOU EVER DONE FOR GAMING?
Just revolutionized how graphical libraries are packaged, harumph!
Then they state that as computers get better, Windows should be able to gobble up more system resources to look pretty (as in, polish a turd, it's still a turd). Yet another insult to people who want to get the most out of their PC's, and I can relate why many people switched to Linux there.

WHAT IS CLASSICAL MODE?
I DO NOT KNOW.
You do realize Windows Aero is the thing hogging most of your resources and you can turn it off, right?
Not that you'd need to because I can still run FFXIV on max with Windows Aero, iTunes, Firefox and MSN open with 0 lag on anything and my computer isn't that high end, all told.
soon other browsers adapted this principle into tabbed browsing, a nightmare from which there obviously is no return. Quite the contrary, obviously, as IE7 followed suit.
Tabs are nightmares?
What kind of bizarro world are you living in, friend? Oh yes, I loved having 50 windows open during the IE days.
Ohhh man, I don't know anymore.
Anyway, Monday.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Praise Be to General Electric

Today, as I sit in the pollen-laden air (record breaking pollen count, hurrrrr), angry at my current lot in life (stuck behind some asshole in the fast lane doing 30 in a 55 zone, snail racing with the asshole immediately to his right, also doing 30) it hit me. What I want, more than anything else in the world, is to have this mounted on the front of my car somehow.
It's not a gun. It's a Gatling-style cannon.Anyway, today we have Welcome to My Truth. Good thing it's just her truth, too, because if this were a universal truth it'd confirm what I always suspected: the truth is incredibly dull.
I don't know why I'm telling you this, maybe I'm just fishing for compliments or maybe I'm hoping someone will kick me up the butt and help me do something with my life.But I'm going to tell you this anyway.
Waiting for the big "oops! I forgot I needed a point!" moment. Then I call you an idiot.

There is this girl that I sort of grew up with, I shan't name her. She's pretty much perfect.

Hit me with your best shot, etc?

She's like me, but a better version. By that I mean she's fairly short and she sings, but she's prettier, thinner and although not a better singer she generally does more with her voice. And I'm sure most people /do/ think she's better than I am anyway.
Yo dawg we heard you liked obnoxious bints so we put a louder voice in your obnoxious bint so you can have a headache while you have a headache.
Sorry Xzibit Pimp My Ride parodies are so last year.
And it upsets me and angers me every time I hear about her. And she hasn't done anything wrong. It's horrible feeling like this.

WOMEN. Am I right?

I am so full of anger right now, and I do not know why.

YOU WOULDN'T LIKE ME WHEN I'M ANGRY.
To be perfectly honest, i hate Friday nights. I'm sick of spending them alone and going to bed at 10 o clock and waking up on Saturdays thinking "what's the point in bothering to leave the house?"
You just need a more positive (positiver? I've never had to use this word in my life before) outlook on life. You're not a dateless loser, you just have more time for Pokemon now!
I hate how lonely I feel right now. I know I'm not alone and I shouldn't complain but I can't stand feeling like this.
Ah this reminds me a lot of Otis Redding when he says "and this loneliness won't leave me alone." Only when he says it it's in reference to leaving everything and everyone behind to travel 2000 miles only to come to the horrific realization he had nothing to live for and it looks like nothing will come his way, even now that he's left, so--
wait no, that's totally different.
It's like everyones changing and growing up and having fun, and I'm stuck being the same old me with no life.
Somehow when Otis does this it's more meaningful than when you do it.
Oh right, talent. Yeah. That helps a lot.
Also Otis frames it a little different. His is more indifference towards his situation, kind like he's resigned to it, so you feel more for his situation than had he just blatantly whined about bullshit.
I am currently the heaviest I have ever been.
I don't know how to feel about that.
You should feel good about yourself if you're a boxer. Otherwise-- probably disappointment.
So I have no real reason to complain.

... BUT?Oh wow, she's really not whining this post.
Good work, then. "Steady on", as you British say.
I want to talk to you all about my body, because I think I aught to share this revelation with you all.

Yes, this is an important revelation. It's like the Apocalypse of Saint John, it's that important.
You thought all that Trumpets of Jericho and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and the Dragon and the one third of the waters being turned to blood bullshit were dramatic?
Let me tell you, it has nothing on what's about to follow.
As I am sure you all know, or are in denial about, I am a bit bigger than your average girl. Horizontally anyway.

Translation: I am fat.
Vertically, I'm tiny. I have hips and boobs and a belly, arms and thighs that wobble when I move.

Translation: I am shaped like a meatball.
People always say that that's how I'm supposed to look and how "real women have hips and a belly"

No they don't, shut up. That's just fat people comforting other fat people.

but let's face it, they'd all rather look like Megan Fox than Aretha Franklin.

They'd rather have a man face than be fat-- err, bad analogy.
I've always been extremely self conscious and insecure about my body and my weight. I am not telling you that now, I no longer have these insecurities, because I'd be lying. But tonight, something changed.

Here we go, revelation time. This is going to be great, I can feel it~
I still do not like how wobbly I am. But I have started to develop a certain respect for my body. I know, right? It's completely insane.



I think a part of it is because I know that society and the rest of the world HATES it. Every clothes store and fashion magazine is dedicated to stick thin women whose ideas of "curves" is being able to see their hip bone sticking out. And as much as people say that curves are in, teenagers are getting skinnier and skinnier.

THE MEDIA HAS AN UNREALISTIC EXPECTATION OF WOMEN BLAH BLAH BLAH EATING A HOAGIE NOW

And it's sickening. By being the way I am, I am rebelling against society in my own way.

You and every other slob American/Englishman/German whatever the flying fuck you are.
Also, yeah, real impressive. Rebelling by doing exactly what you were doing before. I'm rebelling against organized society by playing video games today.
MAAAAAAN I'M TOTALLY BONKERS! COUNTERCULTURE, ANARCHY!

Another thing is, recently, I've been looking at thin girls, and thinking "okay she's thin. Nothing wobbles and she has a beautifully generic face and figure. What's so special about her?"
She's in magazines and you aren't?

You probably don't understand what that means, but not long ago, as short as a few weeks ago in fact, I would have looked at that girl and thought "God, she's so thin, I HAVE to be her!"

Yeah I had a similar debate with some Pokebros recently about the effectiveness of Scizor. They said he's overused Smogon faggotry, and while I had to cede the point, I think they gained a new appreciation when I trapped half a team with mine. Pursuit ruins your faggot shit, faggot.
It's a praying mantis made out of metal. What's not to like?
But, I've started being bored by perfect people. My imperfections are what make me who I am, you know?

Ah, but what if the perfect looking girl also has a perfect personality to match? You'd be positively inferior by comparison, because all you ever do is bitch about how you're not perfect, and now I'm supposed to laud that as superior because it makes you who you are, whatever the fuck that means?
So where has all this come from? Anyone who knows how self conscious I am, knows that this is almost as big as the time Galileo said that the rest of the universe actually revolved around the sun.

I'm pretty sure Copernicus was the one that suggested that. Displacing the previously held Ptolemaic model, don't you know.

Today is Ash Wednesday A.K.A the first day of lent A.K.A the day I go vegetarian. Yes that's right my friends, I'm giving up meat for lent.

I'm sure the reaction she's looking for is something like this:
But it's not happening.
Now there's a post about "guys she'd sex it up with" and I'm starting to think about putting my head in front of my desirous M61 Vulcan.
I think that's a sign it's quitting time. Enjoy your hoagies, fatties.