Indeed, today's I acquired by going to DeadJournal (a likely place to find a target) and clicked "random grave" until I found a good one.
Ladies and gentlemen, for your discriminating tastes I present you: http://datadrain.deadjournal.com/
Where to start? This blog reads more or less like an itemized list of what's wrong with blogs. First, a grammar lesson. The ellipsis, a punctuation mark that denotes a pause, is achieved by three, and precisely three, periods in a row. Here, I shall demonstrate: "..."
That's how it's done.
Here is a sample from today's reading:
I'm so worried about Day, i've called her a million times..okay over exaggeration but she never calls back.
Honestly..
I want her to move up with Bri and I.
sure we enjoy our privacy.
but I would feel so much better...i mean
she's like my sister, my soul twin, box buddy.
and i can't do SHIT for her from up here..
yeah that college thing.
damn school.
I'm so worried. If anything ever happend to her, i would litterly die. I would become like...a blob. A lifeless blob of comeplete...nothingness.
She's my siiiister. my other half.
So immediately I have no idea what she (she?) is talking about. Apparently girlfriend trouble or something. I guess I'm not the intended audience, but I know for a fact DeadJournal has settings that allow only friends to read it, so presumably this is intended for all audiences.
So skipping down to June 12th 2008, there's a poem:
I can stand with the weight of the world
On my shoulders
I can fight with the toughest of the tough
I can laugh in the face
Of all my insecurities
Anytime, anywhere, anything
I'm strong enough
Furthering my theory that all poems are paragraphs with random sentence breaks. I would love to meet the sad individuals who write this kind of poetry. What kind of lives have they lived? What are they so insecure about that they have to write poetry on the internet firmly avowing that they are "strong enough" to face their insecurities. Granted I don't know this person, but I can see her with my mind's eye. All that privileged middle class living really does heap the weight of the world on one's shoulders, doesn't it? I can infer, with my superior detective skills, that this person is middle class because someone who actually was crushed by the world wouldn't be talking like this.
No, this has the streak of a whiny, narcissistic girl running all up inside. Also, if I were to analyze this drawing, I would say this horse, standing on dried, parched desert ground that yields neither green nor water seeks to escape its own hellish torment. Its dead eyes move disinterestedly from one phantasmal wisp of heat to another, knowing full well that no matter how much energy it expends running towards it all it will yield is a never ending desert.
also colorful use of "drawed". What are you, six?
May 30 2008. Today's subject: sex.
So, when did sex become so casual?
I mean, I can't...or couldn't ever have sex with someone unless I loved, or at the very least deeply cared for the other person. I hear of all these people just doing it, because. Or for whatever reason...I don't know, maybe it's me- sometimes I think I was born in the wrong time, but when I have sex, I can only ever picture myself doing it out of love or something along the lines. I love Brian...
If I were to give her advice, I would say don't have sex. With anyone. Based off her command of the English language, she's ten years old.
Yeah, it's easy for me to say, but lets not forget about my several rendezvous with Damon.
So... She says don't do this then immediately admits to doing exactly what she advises everyone not to do? She didn't even set it up as "and I'm speaking from experience here, don't be a goddamn whore" it's a "oh and don't forget I'm being really hypocritical in saying this."
Oh ho, it doesn't stop there.
I really wanted a relationship out of that, and although we were never in one...It was just like one to me. NOT saying what I did was right, at least by my standard. But when I lost it, I really cared for the guy. I won't say love, because I don't use that term loosely. But I liked him a lot, and cared for him deeply. - I was also kind of against doing it, but did it for the reason of "maybe he'll want to be in a relationship with me if I..."
So, just so I can keep this straight, you were in love with this guy, but he used you for sex, and you naively believed it would turn magically into a relationship?
Look, I'm some guy sitting in my basement right now with Cheeto dust up to my elbows listening to Mexican Radio by Wall of Voodoo and even I know that's not how relationships work.
I just find it so incredibly sad that people, like my little sister is having casual sex with some guy named..."Vito".
Wait... Seriously? I wish I could make shit like that up, because if I could, I would have turned that into a career, somehow. Ho ho ho a guy named Vito? Really? Vito. I just can't get over that. Casual sex with Vito. I bet he has one of those 70s German porn star mustaches.
Not that I've seen 70s German porn.
Either that or Vito is a mob hitman. blows some guy's kneecaps off with a shotgun "EHH NOBODY FUCKS WITH THE WIZ."
Vito is awesome.
Now I really don't know if this is true or not, but i'm pretty positive it is.Why would you lie about something like that?
Well, what the fuck?
Yeah it feels good, but your giving a part of yourself away...every time.
Bold added for emphasis. Honestly though, I heard that shit all the time in my 9th grade health class and I never understood the logic behind that. Aren't both parties gaining something? Isn't that why it's called copulation? Even if it is one of those things like "now I'm an undignified whore with a loose cunt that I use to hide my change purse" I should think that starts more with a state of mind and not the actual act itself.
In fact I dare wager there could be dignified prostitutes. I'm pretty sure Japan made a class of woman like that, in fact.
Might as well finish this entire post.
It just surprises me how people can just go and fuck someone and then move on the the next person, never even being in a relationship. - Lord knows i'm not prude, and i'm no 'wait till marriage' but geez, c'mon people. Respect yourselves.
While what she's saying is reasonable, it isn't very funny to admit that, so I guess this is where I say "and I guess everyone should have the same subjective idea of 'respect' that you share, is that it?" But really don't worry about what other people are doing. In fact, you should be glad people do act like animals because then you can look down on them with undeserved superiority, like I'm doing right now.
May 29, 2008:
God, I have the WORST urge to watch sailor moon right now.
I know the feeling. I used to watch that show as a kid because it was on between Ronin Warriors and Dragon Ball Z, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it. But then they started showing Outlaw Star and Gundam 0083 and I knew TV couldn't get much more awesome.
It has all been downhill since.
May 28, 2008:
So, you know what I think would be cool?
If like Bri and I rebuilt antique tractors.
I-- What?
All right, review fucking over. In conclusion, to not write a blog like this:
CUT DOWN ON THE FUCKING ELLIPSIS. NOT EVERY THOUGHT HAS TO BE PUNCTUATED WITH MELODRAMATIC SILENCE.
WRITE COHERENTLY, GODDAMNIT. READ A GRAMMAR BOOK IF YOU HAVE TO, JESUS FUCK. AT THE VERY LEAST IT'LL MAKE YOU A BETTER PERSON
AND FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK, BE MORE INTERESTING. NOT EVERY INANE THOUGHT YOU HAVE HAS TO BE RECORDED FOR ALL TIME.
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