But today I'm taking a Rambo approach. I'm marching right into an enemy base with machine gun in hand. Yes indeed, today I am hitting an entire LiveJournal community.
What is a community? Well apparently it's like a public forum disguised as a blog. Only instead of threads and shit organized in a way that makes sense, it's organized like a blog.
The similarities between the two goes deeper than that. Typically they're both organized around an interest, and like all things internet, blog communities have a freakish ability to specialize to the point where one might be shocked they could thrive at all. SURELY ONLY A FEW PEOPLE COULD FIND THIS INTERESTING.
The group in question today is here: http://community.livejournal.com/egl/
EGL. I clicked on it for the rather cryptic acronym. I couldn't imagine what EGL was.
I found, upon clicking on it, that it was for "Elegant, Gothic & Lolita". Sure.
Already my shitty blog sense was tingling.
Gothic Lolita. That would typically refer to the more specific "Lolita Fashion" popular in Harajuku, Shibuya, Tokyo.
I am in the business of knowing things, so I happened to know this.
Being in the business of knowing things I could also extend this knowledge to other things, like knowing that the entire fashion trend was based on the earlier Victorian/Edwardian sensibilities.
That is what I mean.Notice the black lace and large shoes. There, you know everything about Gothic Lolita. That's literally about all there is to know. There's also some arbitrary rules you have to follow like how to sit properly. That's it. Really.
So how an entire blog can exist around this is beyond me. Maybe there is more to it than I thought. Who knows? Let's find out.
I have a question.
What is "Nekomimi Organdie"?
Oh if only there was a magic search engine on the internet where you could type words in and get related websites based on what was entered.
Again, being in the business of knowing things, I happen to know "nekomimi" means "cat ears" and "organdie" is a stiff material, usually cotton or silk. Let's use that magical search engine now--
Goddamn no such thing exists.
Hmm. But that's okay, sometimes you're still not out of luck. Searching "nekomimi" and sure enough, there's your answer.
I'll just cut to the chase and go to Webster to search for organdie-- yes. It is a material.
See, people? The internet is a fantastic tool for searching.
So apparently furries are crossbreeding with the Gothic Lolita crowd to create something I don't even want to think about.
I actually have more of a purpose in quoting what I just did than showing off my Google searching skills.
I recently purchased the summer Gothic & Lolita Bible
See what happened there? It's subtle.
I can speak from experience, in this case. Importing something from anywhere that isn't on the same continent as you is typically expensive. I also know that anything related to this Gothic Lolita stuff is usually 200+ dollars on the side of uncomfortable. Even that book that she evidently can't read (good buy) probably ran 50-75 bucks, before shipping.
So that was more of a covert "look at what I got" post than an actual inquiry. Any weeaboo knows what cat ears are, even in Japanese.
I'm not exactly slender, and I don't want to make a skirt, only for it not to fit later. Thanks.
Now I'm not going to make any fat jokes (yet) but keep this sentence in your mind, as it proves prophetic.
Scrolling down two posts and I'm greeted by this image:
Oooooooooooookay. When I saved this image from their blog (I always like to reupload shit from Photobucket because shit from there tends to vanish eventually) the image was named "cute.jpg". The post wasn't written by any of the people in the picture, as indeed the whole blog takes almost an editorial approach to posting. Curious as to the sad creature behind this blog, I studied the photobucket link some more. The full address of this image is as follows:http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a24/JenGrainger/fatty%20photo%20shoot/cute.jpg?t=1216938130
All of these photos were saved into a folder entitled "fatty photo shoot".
This raises so many questions. The entire post seemed polite, and the immediate name of the image was positive. Why such a mean name for the folder? Does the person behind this entire blog secretly make fun of everyone posting, sort of like I'm doing now? If not, was "fatty photo shoot" supposed to be a term of endearment?
This information wasn't hard to find, either. I literally stumbled on it by accident. Surely if this community is as active as it seems to be eventually someone would find this. Was it purposefully planted to create drama, since indeed nothing attracts readers like drama? Was this a subtle political ploy to attract all the other Gothic Lolita sects under one super Gothic Lolita umbrella?
How exciting!
Unfortunately, after a quick scan of the comments, no one seems to have noticed or cared.
Hmm. Someone linked a parasol that costs 2800 Yen, which is around 30 US dollars, I think. That's a lot for a fucking umbrella.
This next post had me saying to myself: "I'm so going to post this out of context."
Calling all Thai lolis!
I will most likely be moving to Thailand in about a month or two.
So I was wondering if there are any lolis over there?
I will live in Pattaya so I would love to meet anybody close by or in Bangkok!
Hope to hear from you <3>
Yeah there are a lot of lolis in Thailand. I saw a special about it on Dateline NBC. Seriously do people think about what they're typing at all? That's the post in context. Maybe she should have qualified the word "loli" with another word, like "Gothic" or expressedly stated "and by loli I don't mean little girls, as I have heard that is what wealthy Westerners might do in Thailand."
Hello, I was wondering, to those lolitas who have visited japan is it possible to get around japan just knowing a few phrases in japanese?
Fortunately the Japanese, like all people, speak the universal language of money. So yes, you should do fine, you baby-doll-clothes-wearing freak.
Also you most likely don't know a few phrases of Japanese. Whatever you learned from anime doesn't count, as real people don't talk like that. Do you talk like Bugs Bunny? So why did you think learning from a cartoon was a wise decision?
Goddamn these people.
This next post has me really confused.
Uhm~~ My dad is visiting my uncle and aunt in London and I was wondering if there happened to be any lolita stores in London.
Didn't the British invent this style 150 years ago? Couldn't you just stop by an antique mall and buy the real deal?
That's what I find so confusing about this whole thing. Is it the Japanese factor that they're attracted to? Or is this just a tragic lack of imagination?
Apparently one of the Japanese retailers shut their online shop down to non-Japanese shoppers and recently reopened it in what I can only describe as marketing brilliance (now everyone is rabid about it reopening).
Also apparently I misspoke when I said "arbitrary rules". There are so many rules this shit borderlines on a cult.
I sort of have ugly knees and legs, and don't really feel like exposing them. Can I wear tights without breaking all the rules lol? (Would you wear bloomers with tights btw?) I have thought of aristocratish styles but I still want to wear jumpers/skirts.
Nevermind the fact that when I think of an aristocratic lady from the Victorian era I can't imagine her wearing a skirt at all, THIS IS MAGIC GOTHIC LOLITA LAND, PEOPLE. I would say "fuck the rules do what you want" but then I remembered this is modeled off Victorian England where all they had were crazy strict fashion police. Take that away and you're left with silly people in silly clothes. Oh wait, it's already like that, just with silly rules.
Hmm.
I am thinking of doing a Guro Loli outfit, BUT I can't bring myself to do blood spatter on one of my dresses... Sooo is it possible to do a proper guro without the bloodstained dress?
This is like one of those Zen questions. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, did it make a sound? "Guro" means literally "gore" so can you create gore without blood? Depends on how squeamish you are I guess.
So apparently it's not enough to pretend to be a Japanese girl (pretending to be an English girl) you have to further this one step by pretending to be a Japanese girl (pretending to be a murdered English girl). At this point I'd say "stay home and watch TV" but dressing up and being seen by other people seems to be the fun part.
Some more pictures, claiming to be "twin friends"-- whatever that is. Yeah, twins, huh? I'll bet. The butterface twins.
See after thinking about the best way to be mean to these people, I figured it out. Call them ugly. No one wants to hear that, and since they seem to devote tons of time to dressing cute it'd hurt twice.
Working smart, not hard.
Would any English lolis (or lolis visiting England) be up for a meet?
So you're an English girl pretending to be a Japanese girl pretending to be an English girl?
That's where I say fuck it. Good God you people. Although it might be amusing to attend one of their tea parties dressed as Darth Vader or Freddy Kruegar or something. Or show up dressed as a crusader. 19th century England? TWELFTH CENTURY ENGLAND YOU ARE TRUMPED! FORM UP RIGHT FLANK! WE HAVE TO TAKE ACRE BACK FROM THE INFIDELS! POPE EUGENE III DEMANDS IT!
In conclusion:
I ridicule guys who wear cowboy hats for "not dressing their era" and I'm going to have to extend that statement to this as well.
Actually, come to think of it, that has nothing to do with the blog at all.
I guess pick a better subject matter? Be less of a freak? All right, I'll admit it. This has nothing to do with blogging. I just wanted to make fun of the funnily-dressed people.
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