Matt, all kids I think are cute are named Matt.The meaning of this sentence is clear, but note the complexity of its structure. There's no call for this. It slowly becomes confusing and her meaning lost in words.
2. He walks in with a black pea coat on, i walk in wit a black pea coat.
Know how I'd write this sentence? "We wore the same coat" which tells me either this is fine unisex fashion or he's wearing a girl's coat (based on how I've seen people dress I'd guess the latter). Also I'm not sure "wit" is a typo.
3. I walk in with my ipod in my ears, he does the same, I always wonder what he's listening to.
Shit, most likely.
4. He is bald, like shaved his head bald, ok I didn't do this one, but i feel i may have if I was a guy, plus it looks super good on him.
Okay, let's take this one slow. So he is bald, and she didn't do this one (presumably she did the previous two but not this one, but if taken literally it could also mean she didn't make him bald) but she feels she may have (uhh, how can you tell?) and it looks good on him.
That is a lot of information packed into a single sentence.
Stupid general things, I'm pretty sure like 9,999 other people on campus have a black pea coat and ipod, plus I have my suspicions he's not straight, completely anyway.
Oh so just because he doesn't jump your bones he's a fag? That's real presumptuous.
I know absolutely nothing about him beyond that, which means I'm in love with the idea of him, which I like so far right?
Keep this in mind.
The rest of my class is spent looking at him when he's looking in the front of the room. Me and him both like schnauzers,
>I know absolutely nothing about him beyond that
>he likes Schauzers
Apparently her definition of "knowing" and mine are two different things.
True, she never saw him interact with a Schnauzer, but even if she had he could have been faking it, so really she can never know that he likes Schnauzers.
Also while I might put a period on that thought right there, she continues:
I learned it in a class exercise the first day of class, I wanted to be in his group, but it didn't work out cause we were on opposite sides of the room.
Let's analyze the information presented in this one sentence.
1. They both like Schnauzers
2. She learned this information in a class activity
3. She wanted to be in his group
4. they couldn't because they were on the opposite sides of the room
In my realm of litfaggotry that's 3-4 sentences.
It's like she has trouble editing her thoughts for content, so instead of even trying, her mind is like an anus, her entries shit, and her blog a toilet.
Ahhhhhhhhhhh I have am having such a hard time staying focused on any one thing.
No! You're kidding!
I don't want to do this. but i can't stop. i can't even spend 30 minutes reading a small excerpt from my research book. What do people do to keep drive? I can't find mine anywhere.
I find myself looking out the window instead of reading your stupid blog. Maybe it's you?
I'm kinda crazy in some weird normal way no one would care about. my brain hurts. the tips of my fingers hurt. the air around me is screaming at me even in silence.
Oh, I get it, you're crazy.
maybe someone will start a third world war and then i can enlist as an army nurse. I could do that right? no fighting, just wearing that funny little cute nurse hat.
Yeah that's definitely all nurses do. Especially army nurses. You can't even focus long enough to read a passage in a book, there's no way you could focus for hours upon hours of surgery.
no i want to be in a tanning bed, a nice warm tanning bed.
Army nurse OR tanning bed. Whichever happens first, I guess.
how on earth do future doctors, dentists, lawyers, professors ever do this? i like what im studying, except accounting, i just don't like studying.
Don't worry about it. You're not doctor, dentist, lawyer or professor material.
Also:
>I like what im (sic) studying
>I don't like studying
hm.
I'm at the library and can't see if i have chocolate on my face because i ate a chocolate in the car.
Quick, let's guess the weight!
Then I join a dating website with a 200lb picture of me up there, and wait for my bait and anyone willing to see me is either in it for my personality, has a glass eye and his last name is Boobfeeler so he thinks i'm an acceptable mate, is trying to marry me for money, or has some massive brain tumor.
When I read the Great Gatsby in 9th grade the first couple of pages were confusing (according to the teacher) and his advice was to "take it slow", so that's exactly what I'm going to do here.
1. She joined a dating site and posted a 200 pound picture of her (presumably she means she weighed 200 pounds when the picture was taken, not that the picture weighs 200 pounds)
2. She "waits for her bait" (?)
3. anyone willing to see her is either in it for her personality (which is worth it, I might add) has a glass eye (you can still see with one glass eye)
I guess what has me confused is the "wait for my bait" clause. What does that mean? Does she mean she's baiting someone? She's waiting for her catch (which would require bait)? What's going on here?
THIS is how i will meet my future husband. :)
Which is funny because not... Three paragraphs ago you just called blind dating through a radio show "pathetic" but apparently internet dating is not pathetic. Huh.
So do I really have to write 25 random things about me and post it on facebook.
Have to? What, is this a homework assignment? You don't have to do anything.
1. I've facebook stocked people, oh yes I have.Stocked them on the fine shelving at Facebook, that is.
3. Canadian bacon and pineapple pizza is the best food in the world.
>Canadian bacon and pineapple pizza
>200 pounds
I think I found a connection.
I mean i could think of a million other good things to do besides play video/online games. It's not like you're gaining knowledge of the outside world, or practicing math, or improving your reading, or learning a new language, it's just a new form of being a vegetable.
Oh yeah, like you're such a scary brilliant scholar.
This could possibly be the worst, most boring entry i have ever written.
So why are you posting it, then?
It's like these people know somewhere in the back of their minds that what they're doing is wrong but don't know what to do about it. "Well I wrote a really long, boring entry. Wonder what I should do about it? Definitely post." Listen people, I have 215 entries written to "Edie Finds a Corpse." How many can you actually find? A little over 100. Over 50% don't make it.
You can edit for thought and content, and if entire entries don't make it WHO CARES? I tell you what will make people never want to read your blog: posting a ton of bullshit no one gives a fuck about.
I guess anyone could readily argue that "maybe they don't want people to read it" in which case they're clearing lying because no one posts shit to the internet expecting it to go unread.
2 comments:
goddamn that's an irritating avatar
"no one posts shit to the internet expecting it to go unread."
what does that say about your blog?
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