So let's get our troll faces on right and proper and watch out for the cleansing bolts of Nemesis, for surely if she punishes those with hubris, this man is undone.
i started writing in early highschool and started calling myself a writer in late highschool. and i was good, even then.
"High school" is two words. I mean you were good at writing by the rigorous standard known as high school so I'm probably a complete ass for second guessing you, but I'm just putting it out there.
in LA, i found my voice and got to say, with all truth and power, "daniel is one of the best writers around".
Daniel is an appropriate name for you, as Daniel is one of the authors of the Gospels, widely considered the finest (ha, ha) example of literature the world has ever known.
The only way this could be better is if your last name was "Homer" or something.
Daniel Homer. Why not?
i would read every week in public and couldn't find a job because i was always writing. because of the world around me, i became what i am today.
This is a logical fallacy if I've ever heard one: "I write a lot so I therefore must be a writer," just like a man who buys a roll of stamps is not a stamp collector, or a man who gets a handful of change back from the bank is not a numismatist, just by virtue of putting pen to paper (or typing words on a keyboard, whatever) you are not, per se, a writer.
which is one of the best writers ALIVE, not AROUND. face it, my pride is truth.
Face what? The man who can't identify a proper noun and uses the Bill O'Reilly-esque technique of capitalizing words for emphasis (because if it's in CAPS it must be IMPORTANT) is the best writer around (not of all time, because if we're counting time even your monstrous ego can't believe that).
So what if you're the best author of this age? This is a pathetic age. Oh wow, you're better than Stephen King and Dan Brown. Well fuck me, your mother must be so proud.
and it was a competition, in portland, because all my friends wanted to say the same thing and know it.
Oh, well if your friends think you're good, hey. Who am I to judge?
i work and take care of my wife and son and i sleep. this is not to diminish how perfect my life is, but i have become a recluse writer ( a term i came up with a few hours ago and have already used 3 times ).
I believe someone named, oh what was his name? "F. Scott Fitzgerald"? Something. Anyway, he called himself that in the 1930s. But I wouldn't worry about him. He's smalltime, he just wrote a book called, oh what was that quaint thing called? Oh, "The Great Gatsby". Don't worry, Daniel, it's just widely considered one of the finest American novels ever written. I'm sure it has nothing on you.
i write constantly, like all the years before, and have thousands of poems, hundreds of short stories, 2 finished novels, 3 works in progress, a handfull of stage plays and screen plays and i am only just turning 25 in a few days.
Cool story. Have anything I might have heard of? Don't be shy, either. I may seem like I stick with the classics (and that's because, by and large, I do) but I do know a bit about some modern writing.
it doesn't matter to me that on the streetcar home i wrote a 3 page poem about women dressed in jewelry of metal and the way that dancing is something like tangible.
A woman dressed in jewelry of metal (sounds awkward but all right). Sounds... Sounds... It sounds.
it doesn't matter to me that strangers will still stumble over my shitty deviantart writing and say that i changed them.
Ah, a Deviantardlet. I should have known. Well, Daniel, let's see this formidable talent.
Well I can't say it is often I fail at this, but I cannot find his Deviantart account. I'm a little surprised, too.
his first plane ride and my first vacation in years, plural.
Who gives a shit? You don't sound employed so what do you need a vacation from?
Oh here's proof he's the best writer alive (which, at last check, J.D. Salinger is still alive, so no):
this is
written on thighs
(inside)
in soft tongues
in crisp-edge teeth
Further proof poetry is just sentences with random line breaks.
written with
care
in every choice of
twenty six options
written with
consideration
in every flawed beat
>free verse
>beat
What.
(and it will draw from the willing a steady flow of sweet salty taste that lingers on lips and coats the throat for future lookings-back)
palms pull
knees apart
fingers place themselves
in their
proper locations
Gee, I wonder what this is about? He's such an artisan I just plain can't tell! His euphemism is so strong this could quite literally be about anything, not the least of which is sex!
there is this girl
(he says out loud)
in such fashionable disrepair
who
surrounds herself
in the diseased arts
in a culture defined
by feeling every moment as
a climax
tangible as coarse tangerine skin
"There is this girl," he said, out loud, in the way no real person does. Wow this goes on for several stanzas longer, but my eyes seem to be unconsciously crossing whenever I have to look back at this page so I think I better stop before permanent injury sets in.
i watch tv again, which bothers me sometimes because going from being raised by the thing to living for years without even a decent radio, you definitely understand the concept of media as nothing but a great social evil.
The media is evil? You do know if you were a published author (which you aren't, nor will you ever be) you would be part of the media, right?
i pride myself on being strong. mental, physical and emotional strength is something that i have always maintained at an above average level.
Is there any task you can't perform at an above average level? I'd hazard your answer would be this: "no".
but still. i am not weak.
Emotionally strong. Then you shouldn't have a problem if I post a link to this post? I mean, being emotionally strong, you should be able to shrug this right the fuck off, am I right?
my grammar is shitright now.always.
Hey just helping a bro out in his time of need.
i don't see the point in having people forgive me, but i want forgiveness.
Then you shall go wanting. Forgiveness is earned, not given out freely.
How do you earn it? Stop being a douchecunt.
but i want to tell every single person on my mind that i am not who i once was. i am a good man.
i am a good man.
You're a monstrous egotist and I have a feeling you burden your poor wife with your overbearing, heavy-handed ways. I'm sure you're also an enormous hypocrite, but I can't know this. Your ego, however, is manifest.
When someone says "I am a good man", usually the accompany this with "think", as in, "I think I'm a good person", or put a wishful spin on it, like "I'd like to think I'm a good man", but you, you're assured you're a good man. And by what? What do you have to show that you're a good man? You're good at writing (which is a lie that only you believe at this point I'm sure), but how does that make you a good person? Short answer: It doesn't. You have no reason to believe you're a good person. You pay your taxes, you treat your wife well, you take care of your son? Well whoop-de-shit, you're doing what you're supposed to do.
Good grief.
I rarely genuinely dislike these people, but I can say I genuinely do not like Daniel.
Go fuck yourself, Daniel.
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