PUNISHMENT

I guess today is punishment for my hubris in saying I'm immune to retard germs because NOW I'M DYING OF EBOLA.

Good thing the job I was supposed to have this morning flaked out on me because that would have been pretty shit for everyone involved.
Mostly me.
Today I'm just going through ONTD_Political.
Not because I'm lazy or dying but because the first three posts are legitimately more entertaining than any three posts I'd find in another shitty blog so fuck it I'm doing this.

It was Lyndon Johnson who best understood that the key to political empowerment for the disenfranchised was to give them access to the electoral process. That's why he made passage of the Voting Rights Act of 1965 his top priority.

What a disaster.
The plebeians shouldn't even have a vote. This is why the country is shit.
There should be one plebeian leader to prevent the abuse of the plebeians but no, they shouldn't all be able to voice their ignorant opinions like their opinions are equally valuable.
ONTD_Political, I think, illustrates the foolishness of giving everyone a vote.

WASHINGTON -- Republican vice presidential nominee Paul Ryan promised again on Sunday that Mitt Romney’s tax plan would bring lower tax rates for all Americans while remaining revenue-neutral, although he didn’t fully explain how it would accomplish that.

Oh gee imagine that. A politician lying.

The Obama campaign has blasted the Romney-Ryan ticket for not providing details on how it would give Americans such large tax breaks without growing the deficit.

That's rich.
Obama bitching about the deficit.

Ryan reiterated in an interview on "Fox News Sunday" that the plan would drop taxpayers' bills by 20 percent without costing a dime, due to closed tax loopholes, but he was short on specifics when pressed by host Chris Wallace.

“You haven’t given me the math,” Wallace said in one exchange.

“I don’t have the ... It would take me too long to go through all of the math,” Ryan responded.

Then get the fuck off my show until you stop lying.
Come on Wallace.
If you're going to lie at least lie convincingly.

“But let me say it this way,” he went on. “You can lower tax rates 20 percent across the board by closing loopholes and still have preferences for the middle class for things like charitable deductions, home purchases, for health care. What we’re saying is people are going to get lower tax rates and therefore they will not send as much money to Washington.”

Okay.
How?
Mitten's campaign is especially bad about this.
He never says how.
At least with Obama you know how: by fucking the middle class.
Then this asshole comes along and basically says I'M GOING TO DO EVERYTHING OBAMA PROMISES AND IT'LL COST NO ONE ANYTHING!
Unless you're importing slaves or something I don't see how.

Wallace played a clip of President Barack Obama mocking the Romney campaign’s lack of details on the loopholes while on the campaign trail. “No matter how many times they tell you they’re gonna start talking specifics really soon, they don’t do it,” Obama said. “And the reason is because the math doesn’t work.”

Not that your math works either, Obama.
People in glass houses shouldn't cast stones.
God. What a cowardly lot of weaklings. No one wants to take the measures to fix this shit because someone will get their feelings hurt in the process.
If you vote in this election you're a fucking retard.
Let's look at the comments where I'm sure Obama is getting the most sumptuous e-blowjob imaginable--
Amazingly it's mostly just Mittens hate.
Well whatever. I can deal with that.
I won't be following it because zzzz but okay.

“Here Comes Honey Boo Boo,” TLC’s new show about an energetic, self-identified redneck family that, to a member, follows the law of honey badger — they don’t give a shit — has become the latest must-see reality TV show since its premiere two weeks ago.

If ever there's a condemnation of US culture it's "The Learning Channel" shows this crap and you can buy fast food at a gas station.
Like really that's all you need to know about the US as a society in 2012.
Also the history channel is 99% shows about how aliens made the pyramids.
I used to make fun of the history channel because it was like all history was a 5 minute Powerpoint presentation leading up to WW2 and that event is still ongoing but really, I'd take that over ALIENS DID IT any day.
At least WW2 was history, if a really narrow window on history.
Remember when TLC used to show crap about whales and it was like sitting in school?
I miss that, actually.
Now it's HURR DURRR WATCH A 12 YEAR OLD GET KNOCKED UP!
Basically what I'm trying to say is we're a society of cretins and morons voting for cowards to fix our considerable societal problems without realizing the problem is we, as a collective, are shitty people.
And I'm not about to say Europe or anywhere else is any better but I live in the US so that's what I know.

This past weekend, the L.A. Times ran a piece on the “virtual stoning” of June, the 300-pound force of nature who, more than Alana, is the star of the show, one of those innately intelligent, verbally dexterous, blithely unconcerned, totally individual individuals that make for riveting television.

>riveting television.
>hillbillies jumping into a mud bog for half an hour (dead serious that's the first episode)
Well if you needed a reason to never watch TV again--
here it is.

Go-go juice and pageants, with all their creepy JonBenet Ramsey overtones, have been enough to stack public opinion against June, but “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” works as a piece of lighthearted entertainment explicitly because it is not at all a show about bad parenting. As Calhoun puts it, “The kids have what they need. They seem secure and happy. What exactly is the problem here?”

The first episode of the show featured:
growing children eating cheese balls for breakfast
the eldest child (16) about 8 months pregnant
the entire family stuck in bumfuck, Alabama with little concern for betterment or escaping the nonstop purgatory of the Deep South
the entire family (including the pregnant teenager) swimming in a lake clearly marked with a sign that states there might be flesh eating bacteria in the water
I'm no expert on raising children but one or all of these things might be a slight indicator we're not dealing with the greatest parents ever.

And while I've never seen the show, I really hate people who fat shame others, especially a child. That's how eating disorders begin.

But eating cheese balls for breakfast = A-OK.
Can't you just be a normal weight?
Why does diet = eating disorder in 2012?
Oh right because that means not going to the Sheetz to shovel 50 hoagies into your fat maw while filling your car that gets 3 miles to the gallon.
My mistake.
This whole fat shaming thing is amazing to me.
As a society people have decided skinny chicks are way hotter than fat ones so the fat ones (over 50% of the population) have decided that they're going to stay fat and that's somehow everyone's fault that they're not considered beautiful.

She encourages her daughters to lose weight, takes care with the household budget, insists the girls clean up the messes they make, forces them to wear helmets while they drive four wheelers through the mud, rarely loses her temper, kisses and hugs them, and regularly sets limits on their behavior.

But avoid the flesh eating bacteria soup?
Well she's a good mother but not mother of the year, come on.

Uhh, sorry but fuck you. There is absolutely NO REASON why any child, much less a seven-year-old should ever be "encourage[d]... to lose weight."

Future health concerns?
Pffft.
POSITIVE BODY IMAGE IS ALL THAT MATTERS.

California has become the first state in the nation to ban therapy that tries to turn gay teens straight.

Banning therapy that doesn't work.
Welcome to FDA regulations 100 years ago.
Congratulations, everyone.
I'm not even looking at the comments where everyone is acting like total twats because that's the only reaction you should have to this.
Stand back you rats because we have a trigger warning.
So da pacem domine and all that shit.

MONTREAL – For months, Bahar Ebrahimi had been rebelling against her parents, complaining their Afghan culture and Muslim religion were suffocating her. “I want to enjoy my life. I want to feel what the other ones feel,” she told them, according to her mother’s statement to police.

Quia non est alius
Qui pugnet pro nobis
Nisi tu Deus noster.

As Dylan wrote on Monday, most — though not all — economists will tell you there’s a good theoretical case for taxing capital gains and investment income at a lower rate than normal income. Mitt Romney, in other words, should be paying a low tax rate.

Because people like that are more likely to invest in riskier ventures, then.
Welcome to actuarial studies.
Not always fair.

But it’s also worth understanding why more and more tax wonks are wondering if the case holds up under current conditions. For one thing, the low rate on investment income has been an important contributor to rising inequality.

If I'm an economist the only thing I'm saying in this, the year of our Lord 2012 is "it's breathtaking how much money we don't have. If we had 900 trillion dollars, after rebalancing the books, we'd have 0 dollars."

China accused Japan of stealing the Senkaku Islands and "grossly" violating Chinese sovereignty during a verbal war that erupted at a U.N. session among senior officials from both countries.

THEY'RE A BUNCH OF TINY FUCK ISLANDS WHO GIVES A SHIT.
I'm giving them to Korea. Fuck both of you.
I guess the concern is there might be oil drilling to be done there but come on. At least state that's what this is about and not HURRR PATRIOTISM.

By now, we’re no doubt all familiar with the distressing case of Jill Meagher.

Indeed.
Wait, who?

For a while now, pictures purporting to show Obama’s mother, Stanley Ann Dunham, modeling in 1950s bondage and fetish porn have been floating around the darker corners of the Internet.

Seen it.
I hang out in the darker corners of the internet, apparently.
I'm so proud.

These days the price of a standard civilian hit-job can run as high as $2 million. That’s not the price to get the job done―that’s the price if one of your underlings gets caught. The whole inflationary spiral started with one dumb yakuza stiffing McDonald’s on the price of a cheeseburger in Kyoto a few years ago.

What is this world coming to?
First Obama might get reelected then this?

Oh dear, SlutWalk London. On Saturday you're marshalling crowds of women in fishnets and bras to chant "my dress is not a yes" and promoting petitions insisting that the Home Office should prosecute rapists.

Yes, I dress promiscuously because it's so comfortable.
I know it's not an invitation for rape but when you act like you dress like that because you're comfortable with your body--
I dunno, it strikes me as very fake.

"President Obama is a uniquely gifted speaker, and is widely regarded as one of the most talented political communicators in modern history," Myers writes, calling Obama a "universally acclaimed public speaker."

I find it very hard to pay attention to Obama while watching his mechanical tics from left teleprompter to right teleprompter.
Is that uniquely gifted?
Being able to read?
IN 2012 IT SURE IS HEY-OH!

BILLIONAIRE J.K. ROWLING: Here's Why I Didn't Leave The UK Even Though We Have High Taxes

"because I'm a billionaire so even if I lose 250 million I still have billions. GOD IT'S GREAT BEING RICH."

Because unlike all the irresponsible deadbeats who don't pay much in taxes, the story goes, rich people are smart, independent, and resourceful, and they won't stand for having their money confiscated. Instead, they'll just move somewhere with lower tax rates. Like Monaco.

Lower taxes, beautiful weather and brown girls.
But no, you're a villain if you're rich and move there.

Rowling loves her country, and she wants her kids to grow up there. And, as someone who once depended on the safety net designed to help those going through hard times, she feels a debt to her society.

"I also coincidentally have a book about the intrigues of small town politics coming out but I PROMISE THAT'S A COINCIDENCE AND THIS ISN'T A MARKETING STRATEGY."
Here's a story about some 19 year old dog that got donations for arthritis and everyone is cheering and crying in the comments--
can't die with dignity as a dog, I guess--

A Hong Kong billionaire has offered up a staggering, if bizarre, "marriage bounty" to any man who can woo his married lesbian daughter.

Have I mentioned how much I love Hong Kong lately?
Because only Hong Kong can generate headlines like this.
Of course the comments can't have any fun with this--
Fucking ONTD.
Ohhh goodness.
Anyway fuck this noise.