Step into it

Sage advice from back when I was a kid and took karate.
Always stepping into your punches. I know more about punching than any six year old has a right to know (which was when I stopped learning this shit). 90% of your power comes from your core~
Anyway, enough of this: it's time for some douchey blogs! Hurray, I bet you were skeptical whether or not we'd get here.
It's also important to hold your hand properly. Remember, punch with your middle two knuckles. Never tuck your thumb or you'll lose it.
Angle your hand slightly outwards for maximum impact. Always imagine you're hitting through your target. The rest is all practice.

Who do you talk to the most?

Today's writer's block. I imagine most Livejournal users live in a sewer and are some kind of frogman hybrid monster so they talk to themselves.

I do write original posts, I promise. Just . . . I felt like writing on this topic.

I talk most to my mom. Ironically, yes, because we don't talk even once a week lately. But when we do talk, I become such a chatterbox I wonder how she can stand it.

People who aren't comfortable with long pauses in a conversation won't get much out of me. If you can't wait more than three seconds before saying something, "just to fill the silence," I won't have much to offer. It takes me time to complete a thought.

My brain is a lot like a Vic-20. Slow write speed.
It doesn't take me long to think of something but generally I find it best not to say what I'm thinking so I can go forever in silence. It's not awkward for me, assholes.

I'm noticing more and more lately that I'm a slow starter. This isn't an appreciated trait. People want go-getters and quick movers.

Slow start is a shit trait in Pokemon, yes.
Attack and speed halved for five turns, better stall them out until then.
Good thing a grand total of one Pokemon has the trait so it's not something you encounter that often.

They want snappy, witty. My husband's witty. I love that about him.

In conversation, I start out a little cold. Unless I've sought out someone to talk to about something in particular, I'm not really ready to spill my guts two minutes into talking. If you want depth from me, you have to wait.

Don't care that much. Are we seriously still on this writer's block? Time to pack it up, woman.

These are the kinds of things I wonder if I should change about myself to become better-liked, but at the same time am stubborn in thinking that I shouldn't have to change this quality; it's not a bad thing to be a little slow.

Yeeeees it is?

It's helpful to myself and others. I'm not always saying witty things that are ultimately hurtful or glib.

And that comes to you by virtue of being slow?
That sounds like you're just too stupid to think of something clever if you ask me.
Even quick people can keep a lid on that shit. The opposite of "a little slow" isn't "complete dickhead." See, it's statements like this that makes people think you're stupid, not the fact it takes you a second to start talking.

When someone takes the time to get to know me, they almost always conclude that I'm a deep thinker and provide helpful insight. If I focused my energy on being the first to speak, I wouldn't be able to ruminate so long on what I say.

Oh I can see you're a deep thinker, Mrs. "the opposite of slow is dick."

But . . . there's the rub. Not many people take the time to get to know me. It's too much work. I make it too much work. I should make it easier on people. I should be more outgoing. I could certainly use more friends.

Well we're one entry in and already I know you're a person I don't want to know.

What is your favorite word, and why?

Going by my last entry, "yet" has to be my favorite word. I must have said "and yet" a thousand times in that post.
There were a lot of contrasts to make, okay.
YET NOW, OUR CHAPTER IS PURE AND NOBLE.
Still trying to work "yet now" into common speech.

I literally saw this question and went "Oooh, favorite word!"

No but there's a website that makes a graphic of your most used words on a website and fuck was a good two times larger and in bold font compared to my other words.
So, fuck.

Before I tell you mine, which won't be a surprise at all, I have to tell you what someone else's is.

Dilapidated.

... Ok.

No joke. But not because of what the word means - because of how it sounds. "It sounds like what it is," she told me. Funny thing, though, is she couldn't define the word for the life of her.

I find the etymology of "revenge" kind of interesting. Most people don't think of it because all you say today is "revenge" but there is a re- prefix on it, just like rewind or realign, implying your typical status in life is venged, which is a word but won't turn up in most modern spellchecks.
In fact, in all of the modern things I've read I've only seen the term "venge" turn up once, and that was Final Fantasy Tactics. Further proof that game stands on its own as classic literature.

She could only give me word-pictures. The words "falling apart" never left her lips, yet she described that perfectly with her picture of an old, forgotten house.

Pretty sure dilapidated comes from dilapidare which is Latin for "waste".

Sherry, her name was. Neat woman. Very high-energy. Knew how to rock the makeup.

Okay, so my favorite word is . . .

Da da da dum . . .

Mercy.

Really?
Mercy?
As in "no mercy for the misguided"?

Well, as far as meanings go, it ties for first place with Grace, but the word "grace" doesn't sound as smooth and comforting coming out of my mouth as "mercy."

Oooh, time to psychoanalyze this.

Let's not.
Grace is such a stupid imprecise word anyway. Poise is vastly more accurate and sounds better to boot.
Because you can be graceful, which could imply both physical grace or some sort of mental or behavioral grace but then there's a grace period which isn't to be confused with being in a state of grace.
Christians ruined that word, man.

I think I don't like the sound of "grace" so much as "mercy" because I have a harder time accepting God's unmerited favor than I do accepting that He accepts me regardless of where I've gone wrong. I know those are quite nearly the same, but they're different enough.

God's unmerited favor.
Did you know in Cambodia there's a spore that, if inhaled by a specific kind of fire ant, the spore eats the brain of the ant, gains control of its body, forces it to climb a tree whereupon a new spore pod erupts from the ant's head, repeating the process?
I never really hear Christians bringing this up when they talk about the miracles of the physical world as proof of a loving God.
Or, God loves us unconditionally but what about cancer?
If God created all of the creatures that creepeth upon the earth then surely he created cancer, too.
I know this isn't a strict argument against God (he could be real and created cancer and brain spores, too) but I do consider this strong evidence for not worshiping him.

Mercy is "I love you anyway." Grace is "I love you just because." Mercy is "I'll tolerate you." Grace is "I revel in you."

God is all merciful and graceful. Brain spores.
Well, I guess we should be thankful the spores are limited to ants and don't infest people, too.

I feel I don't believe I am to be cherished. It makes me nervous when someone acts loving toward me with no provocation. My brain is locked into this pattern of thinking I must do something in order to be treated well.

Yes, that is how it works. If you act like a complete dipshit no one will like you.

I'm just now, in my mid-twenties, beginning to understand that while I have never felt that others need to do something to receive love from me, my actions say otherwise. I act grateful and nicely towards most everyone, but overt displays of affection come at a cost.

As well they should. Look, don't become an entitled twat on me.

You might be relived to know that I fit none of the descriptors of a sociopath.

Oh really, someone whose favorite word is mercy isn't a sociopath?
I'll be sure to keep that in mind.

Cynicism is a sickness. Skepticism can be, if not held in check.

Optimism is a delusion.
I can say extreme shit too.
I say cynicism is the preferred stance to hold on the world. Take my Ifrit fight last night in FFXIV. Idiot healers, no one (myself included) is really properly geared for this-- we're going to lose.
So we lost. Am I disappointed? Fuck no, I knew it all along.
But had we won? Holy shit, that would have been an event worthy of song.
We did pretty damn good, all things considered. We got him to like 50%, at which time he promptly went Super Saiyan being close to him caused damage. Then he opened the ground up and lava came out and everyone died.

Song on the radio a lot lately has this line:

"You don't need to move, love has come to you; all you gotta do is turn around."

But another song has the lines:

The night is calling
I have to go
The wolf is hungry
He runs the show
He's licking his lips
He's ready to win

That is the second song I know if recorded in the 80s that compares love to a hungry wolf as a major metaphor of the song. Well, really, Duran Duran's classic is a simile so the comparison isn't as strong.

I love that picture. Too often, receiving love becomes a sort of test: if you jump through this hoop, say this prayer, dress this way... you're okay.

No I like the Duran Duran/The Scorpions picture better. Love is something you have to earn, possibly through trial by fire. Having seen both of those videos, they both go through a lot of shit to get their DBGs.
You know, who wants this bullshit "oh turn around and you get me tee-hee~" nonsense. No, that's not a relationship built to last. Now, comparing yourself to a hungry wolf and wandering through the jungle and almost drowning or falling to your death on a rickety bridge in India and then you get her, well, you've really done something.

You're lovable. I think most everyone seeks love, respect, acceptance (all at their core the same) as the ultimate goal of life. For love to seek us out is completely opposite of what we expect.

But love does seek us out. And so powerful is love that we cannot hide; love has found us. If we would only stop looking.

Stop looking? So just kick back and accept mediocrity and all will be fine.
I can't believe it. Even pop songs from the 80s were wiser than the bullshit out today.

When we are little, we are consumed with the outside world, completely un-self-aware, and unburdened. As we grow, we become increasingly self-conscious and self-aware. Then, as adults, we finally let go of being consumed with ourselves... only to find that we've lost the fascination we had as children with the world.

Oh God, this nonsense. Chasing phantasms is what you're doing. Life wasn't better when you were a little kid. It was really just a prolonged exercise in waiting until you're old enough to understand shit. You just look back fondly because you were too stupid to know better so you think it was better.

We must become children again. We must regain that sense of wonder, that unashamed ignorance. To admit we don't know and not cringe!

No, let's not.
Goddamn I remember the frustration at not being able to read when I rented Final Fantasy III. No, let's not go back to that dark time.
Ignorance isn't fun. Ignorance is frustrating.

We grow up and learn about ourselves so that we can learn about others. We begin to take responsibility for ourselves, begin to give as much as we're given. But instead of taking this maturity and going forward, we find a spot we like and content ourselves with contentedness.

Yeah, we find our niche. Something we're competent doing. Something children can't enjoy and 90% of the angst of childhood.

Eternal life begins with the complete acceptance of an unfathomable universe and undying desire to know more. Salvation is meeting Jesus. Eternal life is a gift, and if you know Him you have it. But you won't experience it until you open your eyes.

Holy shit how did this become a sappy post about Jesus?
What if I'm content with Jesus? Would your suggestion be to move on from Jesus?
Somehow I bet that didn't figure into your bullshit posturing.
You Christians really can make anything about Jesus.

First, I love God. I believe His commandments are The Commandments, and I love His law. I also love that He became a child and a son unto Himself, taking on human flesh, and I honestly believe that He paid the price for our sin in blood. I believe that Jesus died and canceled my debt, and I believe just as much that the debt was valid.

You know the economy is bad when the major comparison to religious passion is debt cancellation.

I must make myself clear on this point, because I know many who believe that Jesus died to save them, but don't seem to acknowledge that He had a real reason other than the "unreasonable, irrational" wrath of God.

That's what I need to defeat Ifrit. The unreasonable, irrational, unbridled wrath of an angry god.
The baleful hate of a dying god, in fact.
Here, look at Edie going toe-to-toe with Ifrit:
Landing those 840 damage Victimize IIs, oh yeah. Make him your victim, not the other way around.
Half of my skill bar is for the express purpose of buffing up Victimize II. My entire goal in that fight is to Victimize II.
You might notice no other people around and Ifrit is facing Edie.
LAST ONE STANDING OH YEAH~
And to draw this full circle: someone properly stepping into a punch.

So, am I pro-choice? No. I believe that though we have free will, God has made it clear that He has a single-minded purpose for our lives. Every choice we make, if we believe in God, ought to be made in light of that overall purpose.

"Here let me give you free will and then punish you for using it instead of following what I tell you to do."
One might wonder why he bothered at all but then again he does have a PERFECT AND MYSTERIOUS PLAN.

Am I pro-life? Of course. Who isn't pro-life? Life, in general, is what we all strive for and exist to experience.

I don't think that's what that means.

But I'm being facetious. Let me ask a different question, since I seem to have an issue with the "pro-life" banner.

Am I anti-choice? No. What do I mean by that? I mean that the opposite of pro-choice is called "pro-life" but in reality it's anti-choice, and I am not that. I am not for legislating no abortions no matter what the circumstance.

... So there you have it, I guess. She's pro-choice because she's not anti-choice.
And she's not against legislation for no abortions.
Or you might say she's for legislation in favor of abortion, to keep this syntactical nightmare a bit more manageable.
The only reason she set it up like that is because she didn't want to say she's in favor of abortions. She wants to be moderately for it.
No, fuck that. BE FIRM IN YOUR CONVICTIONS.
How's this shit? I'm against abortion but for killing babies. Everyone loses under my system.

I think if families taught their children, sons and daughters, that an unborn child is not a mass of tissue and blood like a growth inside a woman that could either become a child or not, then there would be no "abortion controversy." But as long as children are not taught that fetuses are really lives, we have this problem of people considering abortion as one of their options after they become pregnant.

So a fetus is life because it can become a baby.
By that logic sperm is life because it can become a fetus, and as we all know there are billions of sperm cells released at once but only one becomes a baby, so every man who has ever ejaculated is a killer far in excess of Hitler and Stalin combined.
Or, hey, an egg can become a baby so any woman who has had her period is a serial killer.
I mean that egg could have just as easily been a baby as not but you selfishly chose not to get pregnant so you are clearly guilty. Would you watch as a two year old drowned? Of course not. You'd wade into the pool and save it.

It's possible to fight culture, but not without unnecessary casualties. It is better to fight for souls. Fight for those unborn children, but don't fight against their mothers! Win the mother, win the child. Lose the mother, lose the child.

I updated my stance. I'm against abortion but for killing women.
I don't know why but for some reason that looks so much worse than "for killing babies." I guess saying you're against abortion but for killing babies is clearly so ridiculous it's a joke but "against abortion but for killing women" sounds like something a guy in jail might say so it doesn't seem as funny.

And teach your children God's truth if you believe it. Don't soften the hard truth of God's word to match the malleable beliefs of your culture. Don't tell your children that "some people believe it's just a fetus, and that's okay." It's not okay. Are the people who believe that okay people? People we can become friends with and love? Yes. But is that belief okay? No!

Beat your thoughts to the mold of your will.

I don't put myself in the pro-choice camp, but at the same time I really can't say I'm pro-life, because what it boils down to is that no matter how huge an issue abortion is, the fate of our souls is bigger. And pro-lifers, in my experience, are prone to lose sight of that. May I never, ever forget what really matters.

I'm not saying I wish it on you but it would be really interesting to hear your thoughts on this subject if you were having a rape baby.
Also you'd think God, with his perfect and mysterious plan for all life would have headed off this problem before it happened. Or maybe abortion is part of his eternal and perfect plan? If he has a plan for all life then clearly aborting fetuses isn't against his plan because it continues to happen.
Oh, man, fuck this blog.
And by sheer coincidence I am up to the first post.
Time to stop writing.