The title of this blog is the titanically douchebag "Life is so long when you live it.. .. but so short when you look back."
Ellipsis is three dots, chief. ... ... Like that.
Also I read you're supposed to skip two spaces between each set of ellipsis? I don't know about that but it is three periods.
What do you love about autumn?
Fall, as we non-cunts say, has no redeeming qualities or features.
Everything?
The colors are awesome. I love the sound and smell of leaves on the ground.
Yes, I love the smell of decline and decay too.
I love the food, the apple cider and pumpkin spices and later the turkey. I love it being the right weather for hearty soups and dark, strong beers.
If someone said "right weather for a hearty soup" I'd promptly stop speaking to them.
I like staying inside with a cup of hot tea and reading a book, or walking in the crisp fall air.
I like the spooky Halloween time and the movies and books. I like dressing up or thinking about costumes for Halloween.
Fall is the best.
So I said this was a man?
Was I mistaken?
I was pretty sure it was a man.
50% sure, that is.
As sure as one can be.
Maybe the best single paragraph from Glen Cook in the Black Company series
Ha faggot listening to Cowboy Bebop music--
Eeeeh.
A few lines, incompletely remembered. (Some of the spoiler-y bits cut out.)
Winds blow across the plain of glittering stone.
It is immortality of a sort.
Memory is immortality of a sort.
Soldiers live. And wonder why.
The fuck am I reading?
Here's a post entitled "in defense of awesome" and he promises not to be a meme spouting faggot, honest--
we'll certainly be seeing about that.
in defense of awesome
not in the meme-spouting, Abraham Lincoln as a cyborg zombie hunting time traveler sense. Well, mostly not.
In the proper sense of the word, as in literally inspiring awe or fear.
My brain is so good at talking me out of things. "You don't really want to do that" it says. "That isn't worth your time and you don't really have the time, anyways, do you?"
AnywayS
Am I the only person in control of my own brain? My brain never really contradicts me because I am what is inside my brain--
thing, I guess.
I don't really have an internal debate with my brain I guess is where I'm going with this. I'll think "is this a good idea?" then conclude yes or no and then do it based off that. I never really have a debate with myself like a mental patient.
It is hard, sometimes, to break through these self-created barriers. It is fine when they have good reasons behind them - for instance, "you shouldn't watch that anime show because you didn't really enjoy the last five you tried." But it can be hard to tell the difference from inside my own brain.
"I shouldn't watch anime made in the last 15 years," I think to myself.
"All anime is pretty shit after 1996."
How can your brain even contradict your previous thought pattern? There is no other organ in you capable of creating thoughts. If your brain (which is you, dipshit) decides (which means you decided, it's not a separate alien parasite) that anime is now shit then you've either grown as a person or something happened that lead you to the conclusion anime is now shit.
Like, I dunno, you saw yet another slice of life anime was coming out and decided Japanese TV is somehow sinking faster than American TV. I didn't think it was possible to get worse faster than American TV because American TV literally went from good to completely unwatchable in a near instant but Japanese TV somehow managed to get worse before it actually got bad.
That seems like an impossibility but somehow isn't when you're Japanese TV.
And yet because of these barriers sometimes I waste time looking at things that don't entertain me or make me happy, and ignore the things that do. How is that for doublethink?
Gee I dunno if I don't like to do something I try to avoid doing it and if I do I'll do it.
I don't think "gee I should like this even though I don't so let me keep doing it."
This isn't a video game. You aren't controlling an avatar that's supposed to be a stand in for you. Your being and you occupy the same space.
Let me provide an example, like the Vampire role-playing game. I have some (I think) neat ideas for a Vampire campaign. But I often get hung up on this weird image of what a Vampire game is like, lots of boring politicking and overwrought feeding scenes.
So you've uncovered a perceived problem with vampire roleplaying games (I'd never be caught dead roleplaying, let alone a vampire, so I'll take your word on this) so why wouldn't you try to make a campaign without these problems?
Have I been in a game like this? No. Have I ever seen one like this? Not really.
So you've concluded the problems with vampire roleplaying games are boring politics and overwrought feeding scenes and yet speaking from personal experience that has never been a problem for you.
... Are you OCD or just stupid?
You know my fear with FFXIV is the community will be too helpful and not whiny enough.
And yet speaking from personal experience I know they are the worst group of useless whiny assholes imaginable.
Is my fear unfounded?
What would a game actually be like? Probably a lot like the VtM Bloodlines game but better because you can actually be creative. Either lots of action (Underworld) or lots of intricate betrayals (a la Game of Thrones). Players don't like to do boring things and I don't like boring them. Vampire is about Maxwell throwing a party to say "Yeah I ate a guy, what of it bitches" not dinner parties without end.
I guess the main problem I'm having with this is you're defending awesome and yet somehow roleplaying is the main focus of this entry. You're roleplaying, son, I think "awesome" died a long time ago for you. Just do what you like and don't worry about this nonsense.
Also I try to funnel all sorts of weird things into RPG inspiration even when it doesn't work very well. I dunno why. Habit, at this point? I know, and have known for a long time, that it's a good way to suck the fun of the weird thing and wear down my enthusaism for the RPG at the same time. Strange!
Yes that's always a great idea when you're trying to be creative. Add as many mismatched elements as you humanly can. Truly this is the meaning of creativity! Even when I was a kid painting with shitty water colors I quickly learned the point of creativity wasn't to scribble as much shit as incoherently as you could on the paper. Although being 4 I also had no fine motor skills so even my best efforts were pretty much scribbles but at least I understood this.
What I mean by the title of this post, really, is an attempt to dwell on the positive and the awesome, rather than the everpresent negative. In the case of D&D the positive would be its established setting and just plain weird moments - the negative is the legions of non-functional people who are also part of the same hobby. With WoD, much the same. And so on.
That's all I got for now.
So after all that your conclusion is "try to be positive instead of negative"?
Jesus.
slowly, in dribs and drabs, my RPG muse is coming back.
I wonder which of the muses took up the mantle of RPGs?
Clio, the muse of history, always seemed like a hipster bitch. I bet she'd ironically like Dungeons and Dragons.
Anyway, let's skip this one--
This entry keeps splitting, like a hydra made of thoughts.
... Like the Alpha Legion, you the officers and yet it doesn't seem to affect their battle plans in the slightest. Maybe you didn't really kill the officers?
When I was younger, I could really throw myself into my obsessions. If I was playing a video game I really liked, I would listen to music from the game when not playing it, and read about the game, and look for books or shows that reminded me of the game.
I wish I were playing a video game right now instead of reading this bullshit.
I don't think I can do that anymore. I can't fully play to stereotype - I'm not going to be the guy at RPG club who wears all black, and only listens to 90s goth and metal and plays Vampire all the time. You know? It is just one note, one dimension. It is no good!
I have no fucking clue what you're on about.
In fact, I'm vaguely thinking about the Alpha Legion now.
Man, Legion was such a good book-- far better than any Warhammer book has the right to be, anyway.
I don't even really like those Horus Heresy books all that much, honestly. I feel like that's supposed to be the mythic past of Warhammer, not a series of books that say HERE IS SPECIFICALLY WHAT HAPPENED. I've only read Legion, Mechanicum and Horus Rising, though. I've heard good things about The Flight of the Eisenstein and Nemesis, though.
This trait is part of the reason that I don't always like what other people think I'll like. I mean, I enjoyed Eternal Darkness, but I loved Animal Crossing.
Are you still talking?
It took a long time for me to figure out the frequency, but now Mad Men has that resonance.
Dexter seemed like something that would work, but it got very stupid.
Holy shit did Dexter get stupid or what?
Time to pull the plug, guys.
That first season was probably one of the best seasons of anything ever and it has been steadily downhill ever since with each season outdoing the previous by how much it isn't the first season.
Certain things will resonate with you and it's not always easy to predict what they are. I haven't got through Murakami's "The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle" but I loved Norwegian Wood.
Anything by Murakami is a test of patience, I find.
ALL RIGHT, WE GET IT. ALIENATED BY MODERN SOCIETY.
I have a bit of a cognitive dissonance going.
Cognitive dissonance, or "that thing I thought was true might not be true" as we non-douchebags say.
When my primary persona was Morbid, it only made sense that I would write stories about dark and depressing things.
Oh man, that reminds me. I've been thinking about playing through Persona 3 again lately.
That game was so good.
Here he lists all the computer RPGs he has thoughts about and yet doesn't mention Baldur's Gate once--
And yet he brings up Jade Empire and Exalted, of all things.
What the fuck ever, dude.
God this is really boring. It's nonstop about RPGs. Didn't you say you hate obsessing over stuff?
I have some news for you.
Hoooooo hum.
So I wandered off for about six and a half hours to do stuff.
Man, it sure is warm in this room for late October~
Oh speaking of obsessing about stupid stuff, check it out:
You'll forgive the silly outfit. I was trying to turn that old stuff into materia and I figured rank 48 gear would turn into tier IV materia (the highest tier there is). Thanks for the Bloodlust II materia, assholes.
Bloodlust would be the appropriate materia to give Edie but she's easily tier IV.
I was really hoping for Heavens Fist IV or Hells Fist IV but no dice.
I'd even take Swordsman Materia.
Anyway, rank 50 (excuse me, LEVEL 50 RANK NO LONGER EXISTS) thaumaturge. Learned Contagion and Flashfreeze II.
I'd trust a face like that with power over plagues, wouldn't you?
No, me neither.
Anyway--
this is really boring, Christ.
Wednesday it is~
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