What do you do when a blog is rated 18+ CONTENT NOT APPROPRIATE FOR MINORS but some entries aren't hidden behind a cut? I'm just sitting here looking at one that is hidden behind a cut like what may be contained underneath is the ARK OF THE COVENANT.
Then my face is going to melt like a Nazi scientist.
Which television show continues to get worse every season and should just get cancelled already?
Dexter.
To say that the newer seasons aren't up to the standards of the first season is an understatement.
My qualified answer is Glee. It was cheeky and grown up the first season. Now it's a teenage sensation. Bring it back to what it was and it could be great again.
Your qualified answer, as opposed to all these unqualified answers.
What are your qualifications, again?
Here we go, an entry entitled "Punching the Air! The Muse is BACK!!!" and the dreaded
"( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )"
I feel I should suit up for this. In fact, I recommend you suit up as well. Hazardous environment suits go.
I'm not going to recommend the exact type of containment suit but I look like this currently:
And I suggest you look about the same.
And she is timey-whimy, and adventurous, Emo, and sexy as can be. WOO HOO!!!!!
Your tricks all worked, F-Listers. I'm not quite sure what pushed it over the edge... I think it may have something to do with knowing Mr. Who is coming home this afternoon
RATED 18+
So here's a sneak peak... Yes, I'm pimping Let's Get Lost, because frankly, it's not getting a lot of love, and that's making the Who a little bit sad.
FOR ADULTS ONLY
Oh and we're going to get a sneak peek into a fanfiction.
A sexy fanfiction with this bullshit rating system, I suspect.
Can one man be this blessed?
Good thing I suited up beforehand. I am prepared to crush any heresy I see.
"That song," he traced her jawline with his fingertip, "was playing the second time I made you scream my name that night." She shuddered as the warm breath of his words met her ear. "And then there you were... I saw you framed in that doorway... the way the light from the hallway played on you -- you looked like a glowing goddess."
I know power armor was designed to deflect small arms fire and can even absorb the hellish microwave inferno of a meltagun but I don't believe it was designed to absorb this much douchebaggery.
Ian cupped her cheek. "You were singing that song... to me." He stroked her brow, wiping a stray hair away from her face. "I just… couldn’t take it anymore." He nuzzled her neck and breathed her in.
I AM WREATHED IN WARPFIRE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH--
Oh boy, another cut.
Are you ready for this?
Note that this cut means it is for ADULTS ONLY 18+ the same age you need to be to buy cigarettes and enlist in the armed forces.
Are you ready for this?
You're never going to guess what it contains!
FYI, Dame Tyler has updated her blog :D Just thought you should know.
OH MY GOD FUCKING THANKS FOR THIS CUT! I MIGHT HAVE HAD TO SHIELD A YOUNG CHILD'S EYES FROM DAME TYLER UPDATING HER BLOG!
I started out with a rogue muse; now I have a confused muse.
There are only 9 muses.
What, does everyone need their own muse now?
Also the muses, at least classically and therefore THE ONLY MUSES THAT COUNT only inspired great people whose talent was worthy of their attention.
Fucking they wouldn't come to the aid of every twat who writes fanfiction.
In fact, I do believe there's a passage in The Theogony where someone tries to invoke a muse over fanfiction and Apollo, the protective brother of the muses, shoots the asshole with a silvery dart right in the fucking coconut.
I've been writing the outline for "Let's Get Lost" for a week now, and I'm no further along plot-wise than I was a week ago.
Also the muses don't get frustrated. Their talent is beyond mortal understanding.
God, no one understands the point of the muses. It's not supposed to be your fucking dipshit fanfiction personified. They're supposed to represent an eternal ideal that no man can fully capture.
Jesus Christ bronze age mythology is too complicated for you idiots. This is shit invented by people who literally didn't know to not shit where they draw their water and it's still a little above you.
Additionally, I've been told (and I'm so glad that I was) by a Native Scot that NO ONE says "Wee Lassie"... so there is going to be a confrontation between Ian and Ginger about this phrase.
Can a native Scot tell me what BRAW WIRK, LASSIE means because someone said it to my Final Fantasy character yesterday in a cutscene and I just sat there.
Braw wirk-- good work?
Good work, girl?
SPEAK ENGLISH YOU CUNTS JESUS.
I have a muse gone rogue.
My next story, "Let's Get Lost" was supposed to be a funny, humorous and romantic romp through time and space (how's that for cookie cutter description?).
Well, that's not where the muse is taking me.
Okay I've pulled up a list of all 9 muses.
Let's see which unfortunate gets the title "muse of fanfiction".
Calliope--the muse of epic poetry
Somehow I doubt the muse that inspired The Odyssey and Sir Gawain and the Green Knight bothers with Dr. Who fanfiction.
Clio--the muse of history
Somehow I doubt the muse that inspired The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire gives two shits about who Dr. Who should have really fucked because, like, they totally belong together.
Now I'm going to cut this short for your benefit, reader, but let me say this repeats seven more times.
LJ won't let me update my Master Fic List!!! Keep getting "500 Internal Server Error" messages. Does anyone know what this means? Is there a problem in the HTML??? I've cut and pasted into a new post, removed the LJ-cut, etc... put it back into a normal post-date rather than dating out of order...
HOW DO I FIND OUT WHAT THINGS MEAN?
GOOGLE.COM? WHAT'S THAT?
WIKIPEDIA.ORG? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
OTHER THINGS I DON'T KNOW:
ASKING A FRIEND
WAITING A LITTLE BIT AND SEEING IF THE PROBLEM FIXES ITSELF
st: I don't use LJ for political purposes... this is my happy place. I don't want drama here. Too much drama in real life.
Second: "conservative" may mean something different in the US than it does in, say, England, Australia, Czech Republic or Japan.
Third: I'm a woman of faith, a Christian specifically, but I do not equate the Creator of the Universe with Republican. I think He's sort of above that, don't you?
As you may know I often like to include song lyrics in my entries so I will anger myself later when I reread it.
In the interest of doing that:
so you think I've got an evil mind
I'll tell you honey,
I don't know why
I don't know why
so you think my singing's out of time
it makes me money
I don't know why
I don't know why anymore
OHHHH NOOOOO
You're welcome, me.
Especially since I believe he's the God of the entire universe, not America alone.
So all of that being said...
Probably the most interesting thing to happen this entry was the lyrics I just posted.
This entry is pretty bad, not gonna lie.
Politically, I am conservative with ever-growing libertarian leanings. Don't unfriend me liberal friends! I enjoy your opinions and viewpoints, and have quite a few very liberal friends.
I took like a 500 point political quiz and needless to say I didn't understand the results.
What is your favorite foreign film? Do you think there should be an American remake?
I already told you idiots the correct answer to this question.
The answer is Yojimbo and yes there should be an American remake because there already is one and it's called Fistful of Dollars.
Hmmmm. Big question. Too many choices. I will answer the second half of the second half of the question, though. ABSOLUTELY NOT. Okay, I've decided, but I can't choose just one. It is a tie between Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Life is Beautiful.
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.
Did you know the plot to Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon doesn't make sense to Western audiences?
It's true. If you thought you understood that movie you are sadly mistaken.
It's not your fault, though. The reason it made no sense is because it's a movie adaptation of a book series and IT'S PART FUCKING FOUR.
This is really boring, did I mention that?
I think I'm going to go do something else now.
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